!
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J. W. 'YOCUM, -Editor
VOLUME XLII,. NUMBER 5.1
THE COLUMBIA SPY,
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
WEEKLY,
.00 per year, If paid In advance; six months, $l,
If not paid until the expiration of Abe
year, $2.50 will be charged. . .
;;
NTT COPIES FIVE CENTS.
N'o paper will be discontinued until all arrear
cos are paid, unless at the option of the editor.
,Advertisements not under contract, must be
marked the length of time desired, or they will
be continued and 4/barged for until ordered out.
.ipecial Notices 1.5 per rent. more.
.111 Niotlees or Advert i,m,nts reading mat
er, under ten lines, toll lines, 10 cts.
,yor line, minion-type.
Ye trly :Advertisers jliNcon tinning their adver
tisements before the expiration of the year, will
-Je charged at full rates as above, or according to
on tract.
Transient rates will be charged for all matters
al relating strictly to their bicsind,g.
All a lvertlsing will be considered CASE, after
First assertion.
ii'ffiiilriE4s AT LAW
J. STEINMETZ.
GAST LC: S'TEl2$.7 - 111ETZ,
No. 14 NORTH PUKE ST., LANCASTER, PA.
C. B. GAST
fe b 2- f
- B F. ESHLEMAN,
(Office with lion. L E. Hiester,)
No. SS NORTH DUKE ST., LANCASTER, PA
feb26 'Ott
pHILIP I). BAKER,
:sL:o. 11 I , .:ORTIL DUKE ST., LANCASTER, DA
feb26-tf
A T. KAUFFMAN,
Collections mad•l in Lancaster and adjoining
counties.
Pensions, Bounty, Back Pay t and all claims
igait3st the government promptly prosecuted,
Ottlce—No.233, Locust street.
11r. YOCUM.,
. 4
Attorney-at-Law & Notary Public,
COLUMBIA. PA.
OFFICE—SPY Building, Bank Stree', near
Locust. -
Cotlections made In Lancaster and adjoining
counties: _
RE E
NRY C. G. REBR,
No 52S Washington street, near Sixth.
Reading, Pa,
Collections made in Barks and adjoining
counties. nov2.-J-tr
iii. NORTH,
Columbia, Pa.
Collections promptly made in Lancaster and
York Counties.
THOMAS J. DAVIS,
•
No. 1,1 North Dolce Street, Lancaster, Pa.
Professional Business carefully and prompt
ly attended to. Loct3o'o3-tf
T - 1 P. ROSENNILLER, JR.,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
OFFICE.-\O. 5 Conrt Avenue, Lancaster, Pa
JOHN M. GRIDER,
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, SCRIVENER, &c.
Mountville, Lancaster County, Pa.
Office Hours from 6 to 8 o'clock, A. H.,
and 7 to 6 o'clock, P. M.
Nif CLARK,
JYL JUSTICE OF THE PEACE.
OFFICE—`o. 12 .N. Third street.
Ottice onari to 7 A. \t. 12 to 1 P. M.,
and from 8 to 0 P.M.. t. . ,D0394-0-trw.
S A 2,11. U L . :EVANS.
:I - TSRICE: OE THE PEACE.
OiHc~, on Seco - -1 Si., adjoining Odd Fellows
flail, Columbia, )'a.
I=lZiall
J. S. SMITH, Dr:Nzt,r,
Graduate Pennsylvania Uoilege oY th:sxtal
Surgery. (Alice Vo. 21()L.oeuec Ott ec6
2nd door :a.boce Odd Fellows'. Wall,
- • Columbia, Penn's.
S`Smith thanks his friends and the pub
lic in general for their liberal patronage In the
past, and assuring them that they can rely upon
having every 'llllOlllO l l given to them in the
future. In every branch of Ills profession he
has sin ays given entire satisfaction. He calls
attention to the unsurpasssed style and finish
of - artificial teeth - inserted' by bun: lie treats
diseases common to the mouth and teeth of
children and adults. Teeth fitted with the great
est care and in the most approved manner.
Aching teeth treated and tilted to last for years.
The best of dentrlnces and mouth washes con
stantly on hand.
N. B.—All work warranted.
sepl-U9•Lyw J. S, SMITH. D. D. S.
A J. GULICK.,
SURGEON DENTIST,
Extracts Teeth without Pain. Nitrous Oxide or
- Laughing - GaS MI 1 111u1stered.
OFF iCE 248 LOCUST STREET.
seoti-ii9-tfw
101) C. UNSELD,
TEACHER OF MUSIC
PIANO,
ORGAN,
A.I.ELOD EON.
CULTIVATION of the VOICE and SINGING.
Special atLention given Beginners and young
pupils.
219 LOCUST STREET.
TZ. 110IPFER,
DENTIST.
Nitrous Oxide Gus administered in the extrac
tion of Teeth..
()Mee— Front Street next door to R. Williams'
Drug Store, between Locust and Walnut Streets,
Columbia Pa.
fit HINICLE,
. PIIYSICIAN & SURGEON;
ollbrs his professional services to the citizens of
Columbia mid vicinity. He may he found at the
office connected with his residence, on Second
street, between Cherry and Union, every day,
from 7t09 A. M., and from 6 to SP. M. Persons
wisoing his services in special cases, between
these honrs,will leave word by note at his office,
or through the post office. sepl-79
REAL ESTATE AGENCY
The undersigned have opened an office for the
purchase and sale of real estate, collection of
rents, and the renting of property. I3usiness
entrusted to their care will meet with prompt
and careful attention. F. X. ZIEGLER,
ad:3o-'6940 A. J. ICAUFFAIAN.
TO BUILDERS AND OTHERS
13 - 1111dIng, paving and other brick always on
hand. They are hand made and superior to any
brick in this part of the country. They are 01-
feredat the very lowest price.--
Sep 1-09-t[w] MICLIAEL LIPHART.
LADIES ! LADIES !
READ! READ!
The undersigned having bought the entire
stock of
LADIES' BOOTS ct SHOES,
In the Store 80071 formerly carried on by
JAMES SHROEDEI.:,
No. 148 LOCUST STREET,
COLUMBIA.
Is now ready to sell all kinds of
LADIES' BOOTS A: GAITERS,
MISSES', BOOTS 4: GAITORS,
Calf.DßE:s.:'S BOOTS GAITERS,
As cheap as any other stand In Columbia. La
dies' Boots and Gaiters made to order.
itv,. Repairing of all kinds neatly done. Don't
forget the place. Give us a cull
Seale A. G. G
_LIOTELS.
cc CONTLNE.N.TAL."•
THIS HOTEL IS PLEASANTLY LocATED,
between the Stations of the Reading and Colvin
and Pennsylvania Railroads,
FRONT STREET,' COLUMBIA, PA.
Amine accommodations for Strangers and Tray.
slurs. The Bar Is stocked with
CHOICE LIQUORS,'
Aria the Tables furnished with the best fare.
URLI-Ii FINDLEY,
Proprietor.
sep4-69-tfw)
HOUSE,
- LOCUST ST., COLUMBIA, PA.
Mists a drst-class hotel, and Is in every respect
adapted to tweet the .wishes and desires of the
traveling public. - MARTL.N .- Mlle',
sepl4o Proprietor,
FREigeli'S HOTEL,
On the European Plan, opposite City Hall Park
New York. , . , It. FRENCH,
sept: ti). ISM : ;Proprietor_
, .
ET YOUR PIUNTING JUNE A
*• tho "SPY" Office.
..
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.711ISCE LLANEOUS.
N° 13.
SHREINER'S
r'S THE PLACE
Where you can buy a ilrst rate
AMERIOA.N, ESGLISII OR SWISS
TVATOI:I,
BEAUTIFUL SETS OF JEWELRY, EIAND
SOME BREAST PINS, EAR RINGS,
SLEEVE: BUTTONS,
and. almost everything, in the jewelry line
AT THE LOWEST PRICE
Or you can purchase
FINE SILVER AND SILVER PLATED
SPOONS,
FORKS, KNIVES CASTORS, GOBLETS, ICE
PITCHERS, BUTTER DISHES Ltc.
Then if you are in
WANT OF TIME
you can buy any kind of
AMERICAN CLOCK,
warraoted of the best quality, at a low llgure.
CALL AND SEE FOR YOURsELF
CHAS. P. SHREINER'S
Sept4w tfi No. 13 Front St., Columbia, Pa
DRUGS
PB. KEVINSKI,
• DFIA.I.M2
PIANOS, ORGANS, MELODEONS,
AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
GENERALLY.
A large assortment of Violins, Flutes, Guitars,
Banjo , , Tamoorines, Accordeons, Rites, Har
monicas, and musical murchandise always on
hand.
SHEET MITSIC.
A large stock on hand, and constantly receiving
all the latest publications as soon as issued.
Music and Musical Books will be sent by mail
free of postage, when the market price is remit
ted.
DAC.ALCOM.ANIA,
Or the Art of transferring Pictures. C n be
transferred on any object.
I would call special attention of the Coach
makers to my stock of Dacalcomania.
==l
STEINWAYS SON'S PIANOS, PRINCE 4:
CO'S., d NEEDHAM dz SON'S CELEBRATI,I)
ORGANS AND MELODEONS.
Sole Agent for Stoll's Unrivaled PIANO
FORTE AND FURNITURE POLISH.
Call and examine ray stock at.
NO. 3 NORTH PRINCE STREET,
LANCASTER, PA
J ASPER GREEN,
Designer dz Engraver on Wood.
COLUMBIA, PA.
Is prepared to execute Views of Buildings, Ma
chinery, Bill Heads, Posters, Labels, &c., in the
neatest, and most expeditious manner, at rea
sonable rates.
BOOR AND NEWSPAPER ILLUSTRATIONS
Executed in the Highest Style of Art.
may2t7o-tf
GARDEN, FLOWER AND GRASS
SEEDS!
AT
J. A., M • EYERS',
FAMILY - MEDICINE STORE,
ODD FELLOWS' BALL,
Our Stock is composed ENTIRELY of
Seeds from the celebrated Philadelphia
Seedstnen,
D. LANDRETEI it SON.
We have ismiciti other on hand, and hav
ing closed out eve, y package of last season's
stock, we guarantee all to be
FRESII AND GENUINE,
And will sell them at Landreth's prices.
N. B.—Mtvlng removed my residence to house
No. 2J NOETII SECOND ST., formerly occupied
by Mr. Jacob floss, any of my friends requiring
Medicine during the night, will please call
there.
J. A. MEYERS,
Odd Fellows' hall.
STEAM COQ. CIE WORKS.
CIIRISTLkN MYERS,
COLUMBIA STIIA.M
COACH WORKS!
REMOVED TO Nos. 0, 11 ..t.ND 13 NORTH sth
STREET.
The Carriages, Buggies, Sc., made at these
Works, are equal in - beauty and durability to
any other make in the county.
COACH SMITEIING, REPAIRING, &c.
This branch of the business wlll be attended to
with punctnality and despatch.
CHILDREN'S CARRIAGES,
Wagons, Sc., for sale or made to order.
. Call at the Works No. 9, 11 & 13 North
Fifth street and exainiae the stock and.prlces.
sep3-69-tfu,
OPEN ! OPENING OPENED!
TILLS DAY, TrLis WEEK,
AND UNTIL FURTHER ORDERS,
BRE N M .A N'S
12S Locust Street,
THE LARGEST STOUR OF
HATS AND CAPS
For Men, Youth and Children, ever before offer
ed to the people of Columbia, comprising as It
does, STYLE and QUALITY in scat and still
brim, such as the Warwick, Ida Lewis. Sinbad,
Prince Arthur, American Girl, Rule, Peerless,
Lady Thorn, Rowing, Star, Cuban, Waverly,
Gilmore, Rob Roy, and the Fall style of Silk
Hats, just out, together with a full stock of
GENTS'
FURNISHING GOODS,
Consisting of White and Colored Shirts, Flannel
Shirts and Drswers, English, German and Do
'nestle Hosiery, Gloves, Handkerchiefs, Sus
penders, Ties, Linen and Paper Cuffs and Col
lars. Re. Also.
- UMBRELLA.S AND CANES
Parties who favor us with their patronage are
assured that it will be our constant aim to
merit their confidence and support.
Call and examine our well selected stock at
at lots' prices.
BRENEMAN'S
No. 128 Locabt Street, Columbia, Pa
.oet9.'G9-1y
F INE FA MY- G-RO OE RI ES,
rIA.B.mrAN's
Just received, at the tine Grocery Establish
ment, corner 3rd and'elierry streets, the follow
ing new Goods:
SYJRAR.CURED HAMS AND DRIED:BEEF.
JELLIES,
PRESERVES.
RONEY.
PEACHES,
TOMATQES,
ENGLISH PICKLES, tVINSLOW'SGREEN CORN
(.ItEEN PEAS te.., &c.
'Together with a very flue assortment of
farnily Groceries, of all kinds
A. I.ARGE LOT Or SEW YORK CANDIES,
FOREIGN FRUITS,
Oranges, Lemons, Figs, Raisins, Cocoanuts,
and White Wine Vinegar.,
Extra Family Flour, Mercer Potatoes, Rio and
Java Coffee, fresh roasted, Lovering's syrup, d:c.
, • IS3-New (foods received almost daily. ,
'WM. H. HARDMAN,.
3rd and Cherry Sts„
sep4-6V-tfiv] • Columbia, Fa.
COLTIMBIA., PA., SATTTRIDA - Y . MORNING, SEPTEMBER 24, 1870.
_IVEW ADT;WBTISEMENTS
EDWARD J. ZAHM,
JEWELLER !
NO. 13
(Late IL L. ..Cr. E. J. Zabni,),
Cur. N. Queen St., tt Centre Square
LANCASTER, PA.
Dealer in
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry
SILVER WARE,
Spectacles, best quality Silver-
Plated Ware, Thermometers. •
11:9 Personal and prompt attention given to
Watch work. and Repairing. Remember the
OLD STAND,
ZAHM'S CORNER,
North Queen Street and Centre Square,
LANCASTER, PA.
may? '7O 1 yr
('COAL ! COAL !! COAL !! !
The undersigned is now prepared to sell
Coal of all sizes; received front the best inives
in the State, and guaranteed to he of superior
quality. It is from the I/ dins of the Celebrated
Bella/MORE CO. A: LEE .A.II.NES at Wilkes
barre ; well prepared, and free of slate and dirt.
The price net ton of 2000 lbs„ on Wharf at Basin:
For No. 1 or Grate, $5.00.
" " 2or Egfz, 5.25.
6. 3 or Stove, 5.25.
" 6, 4 or Small Stove, 5.25.
" " 5 or Chestnnt, 4.75.
The above prices are for the Month of May.
Terms Cash before delivery.
The reputation of the above named Coals is a
suflicient guarantee of their quality; and as I
deal in no other, the publM can rest assured
they are as represented.
201.11 S S. GREEN, Agt.,
may2l-tt For Sark.neo if; Co., Witho,Oarre.
=I
Is. FRANK SAYLOR & CO.,
HOTOGRAPHERS,
No. 20 it King Street,
LANCASTER, PEIIN'A
We aim to satisfy all oar patrons, as well as
give them work, which favorably compares
with that done in the best galleries.
COPYING PICTURES
Into any size, of deceased or absent friends, is
made a specialty with us.
FRAMES, ALBUMS, and all things in our
line always on hand.
Remember the
PhotooTaphers,
Yo. 26 West Ring St., Lancaster
B. FRANK SAYLOIL JA.3IES Porrs.
INTERESTS ON DEPOSITS.
The COLUMBIA NATIONAL BANK will
pay interest on Deposits as follows:
For 1 .5,; 2 Months, 4 per cent.
" 3, 4 ct 5 41,
" 6,7, S, 9 (.5.: 10 "
" 1L 6.; 12 "
marl27o-ly SAMUEL SIIOCIE, Cashier.
0ct.16.59-ly
-FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF CO
-4
Interest Paid on Special Deposits as follows:
4 per cent. for 30 or 60 days.
4 1-2 per cent. for 90 (lays and
under 6 months.
5 per cent, for 6 month and under
11 months.
5 1-2 per cent for 11 at." 12 months.
S. DET WEILER, Cashier
_ATTENTIOI
Parties, Pic-nics, &o.
Tnn Columbia Cornet Band having leased
"Big Island, Just above th Bridge, respectfully
inform the Crrtzt.',Ns of COIAMBIA. and the pub
lic generally that they will rent it to Parties,
Pie-Nice, Excursionists, either day or evening,.
The strictest order must be maintained, and
the Band Is determined to make it s.PLEASANT
PLACE of RESORT.
The Band also gives notice that SWIMMING
and BATHING near the Island is strictly pro
hibited, under penalty of the law, and that this
regulation will be inbreed in every instance.
ID" Application for the use of the Island must
be made CO the undersigned. By order of the
Band. CHAS. HEPTING.
july2-tf..l
TO THE PUBLIC,
The undersigned having purchased the
Jewelry Store, formerly occupied by E. Spering,
announce to the pnblic of Colombia and vicini
ty, that they have now open at
No. 39 VRONT STREET,
A large and full stock of
Clocks, Watches ,C 7 Jewelry,
Which they will sell at lowest prices
➢ olt
OAS/ 1 - We as'Ac you to examine our stock as it
will cost you
:241 0 T II I N G
We make it a specially to have constantly on
hand a Stock of CLOCKS and WArCHKS. Per
fectly regulated and ready for immediate use.
J. MASSEY . d•. SON.,
ap13070-tf) N 0.39 Front St.„ Columbia.
pACIFIC GUANO CO.
CAPITAL, $1,000,000.
JOHN S. REESE & 00.,
GENERAL AGENTS,
122 South Delaware Ave., rhil'a
10 South Street, Baltimore.
SOLUBLE PACIEC
G-IT A:NO.
No Fertilizer introduced to the Farmers of the
Middle and Southern States has given more
general and uniform satisfaction than this
la UANO.
The trade in it has steadily Increased until
the consumption now throughout the entire
country far exceeds that orally other Fertilizer.
The large capital involved in its production
alibrils the surest guarantee of it:, continued ex
cellence. The Company has a tar greater In
terest in the premanance of its trade than any
number of consumers can have; hence it is the
highest interest of the Company to put the best
Fertilizer Into market, that their unusal facil
ities, aided by the best scientific ability can
produce.
This Guano is sold at retail by Local Agents of
the Company throughout New Jersey, Dela
ware, Pennsylvania and the Southern States
and at wholesale by
701iN S. REESE ,Sz CO.,
General Agents for the Company.
GEO. BOGLE, Agent.
July2.l-3m Co Pa
IMPORTANT TO INVENTORS
AND PATENTEES.
INVENTORS' AND PATENTEES'
Bazaar and Sales Rooms
529 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. .
BARBER at CO.
CM.. No FEES n ADVANCE.
The undersigned would respectfully Inform the
public that they have opened an establishment
under the above title, where Inventors, Paten
tees And Owners of Patents are free to resort
for the negotiation of the bales of their Inven
tion and Patents.
. -
The feature of this Bazaar consists in this,
that Inventors, Patentees and Owners of Pat
ents and Inventions may transact their busi
ness and effect sales themselves, without any
interference on the part of the Proprietors. On
such sales they charge no commission whatever
nor do they ask registration or like fees, nu:
any commissions in advance, believing it to be
unfair to ask pay for services not yet rendered.
But It any of their Patrons desire to employ
them as their personal agents, for the,sale of
their interests the Proprietors will then charge
such commissions as many be mutually agreed
upon. The only charge made by this Establi.h-
Inelit is for the -Storage of Models anti Machin
ery of all size, on exhibitions therein, as follows:
PEON TWENTY-FIVE (25) Cars TO ONE DOL
LARS PElt WEER PER SQUARE FOOT OF SPACE.
For this very small compensation the Models
mid Machines are kept In good order and their
orkings completely explained to the numer
ous visitors of the Bazaar and brought forward
to the best advantage, with a view to prepar
ing the way to eventual sales.
An experienced PATENT LAWYER, and an
able CONSULTING ENGLNEER,are attached
of this establishment, thus enabling the under
signed to procure, Mall times, the best legal and
practical advice to their Patrons. The Patronage
of all: Is respectfully solicited.
I3.A.RBER. 6: CO..
LZ) Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa
P. 0. Box 1673
YEN - ANCIAL.
OFFICES
"NO ENTERTAINMENT SO °REAP AB READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING."
NETV ADVERTISEMENTS.
FOR SALE.
A Lot of Sash, Blinds and other mate
rlal belonging to M. E. Church. Apply to Sex
ton, Mahlon Smith, or W.I. PATTON.
3t President, Trustees, M. B•t,hurch
NEW POTTERY.
vile undersigned have opened up a Pottery
In Elbow Lane, between Fifth and Sixth Sts.
sign of the Big Jug, where they will fill all or
ders in this line of business.
The patronage of the public solicited.
seplo-Iy3 WESLEY, SWEENY& BRO
F ISHERMEN AND FARMERS
TAKE NOTICES
Tne undersigned will rent h public outcry,
at the public house of Martin Erwin, (Franklin
House,) in the borough of Columbia, on WED
NESDAY SEPT. 21st, kW, the undivided half of
the Fishing and Farming interests, for the year
1871, of Mud and Rock islands, situated in the
Susquehanna river, below the dam at Colum
bia. Sale to commence at 2 o'clock, P. M., when
attendance will be given, and terms of renting
tie made known by
JhO. ii. ROTH, Executor,
11. SUUREIVe Auctioneer. [sep.lo4.w.
CHALLENGE!
8300 REWARD 1
WTJtEi:EAS. a certain person having in his ser
y I' vice a number of BUIL:NIERS and LOAFERS
who go about as his tasters and spies, has pub
lically pronounced my BEEIt to be of an infe
rior quality to his own, I make the following
proposition: Let samples of the beer bi owed
and offered for sale by myself. and that sold by
the person alluded to, be selneeted to chemical
analysis, and a decision made by properly qual
ified Judges upon the relative quality' of the
Beer.
In case the decision be made against my
Deer, I will agree to pay to my competitor the
above Reward, provide. he will agree to forfeit
the same sum to be paid to me in case the de
cision be in my favor. Will my Challenge be
accepted
Senlo-6t3
W .A.ATED.
A JOURNEYMAN SHOEMAKER—
Men's branch. Also, a Boy to learn the Trade.
At FItALEY'S,
nil Locust Street, Columbia, Fa.
NOME-
An election for President and six :Nrana
gers of the COLUMBIA & wAsimicyroN
TURNPIKE COMPANY, will be held at tie
Franklin House, in the borough of Columbia,
on Fulmar, SEPTE.mr.En 16th, 1870, between the
hours of land 3 o'clock, P. M.
JOS. F. COTTRELL,
augl3-4t. Secretiry.
ALLEN RICHARDS,
plans: AND DECORATIVE
Paper Hanger and Varnisher,
No. 132 LOCUST STREET,
COLUMBIA, PA
ca.. Samples of paper constantly on hand
Call and examine. jalylo'7o-Is.
LINDEN El. A_ I, L,
Moravian Seminary for Young
Ladies.
The 77th ANNUAL TER:II opens AL - GUST,
Z3(l, 1870. For Circulars and Catalogues, address
REV. EUGUNE A. FRUEAUFF,
aug2o-Zit Litlz, Lancaster Co.,
L. C. MAY. 0 H. ERWIN.
MAY Sz - ,. ERWIN'S
BOOK STORE,
No. 105 LOCUST STREET, COLUMBIA, PA.,
Rave just received a large invoice of
SCHOOL BOOKS,
COPY BOOKS,
SLATES, INKS,
PEN HOLDERS,
-*PENS, SCIIOLAR'S COMPANIONS
And everything connected with the School
Department.
scrzooL DIRECTORS,
TEACHERS, PARENTS,
And cou.sTrzy DEALERS
Are respectfully invited to ca❑ and examine
our stock. We offer 101.5arP ow , / dwou Cs to
School Directors, 'le:whets, and Country Deal
ers, such as cannot be had at any other Book
Store in the comity. Also, oh hand all Innu
merable variety of
POCKET BOOKS, WALLETS, BLANK
1300 KS, MEMORANDUM BOOKS,
LETTER CLIPS, RULERS,
INKSTANDS PORT
FOLIOS,
WRITING DESKS, MUCILAGE, OIL PAINTS
CAP, LETTER, NOTE AND BILL
PAPER of all kinds,
ks well as everything else usually kept in a
ilrst-elitss Book House.
Kext door to Post O f fice, Locust Street.
can and see for yourselves. No trouble to
show our goods.
SC}IOOL
Will open on 3tonciny morning next, and all
Scholars must be provided with the necessary
SCHOOL BOOKS, COPY BOOKS,
SLATES, INK, PEN HOLDERS, PENS,
SCUOLAIt'S CO?IPANIONS,
And all Kinds of
8001-S
Used in our Public. and Private Schools
Tile pupils of the Select Schools, of the Insti
tute, or the Borough Schools, of the Schools In
the surrounding townships and towns are In
vited to call
-A. r r
Wright's Cheap Booh Store.
.I.nd make desirable purchases.
School Directors. Teachers, Parents, Scholars,
Country Dealers, and cvertifoxigt are invited to
examine our stock. Discount to Directors and
Teachers.
POCKET BOOKS, BLANK BOOKS. CAP, LET
TER, NOTE AND BILL PAPER,
Always on hand at,
NV - RIG-I-IT'S,
11 7 6. 262 Locust ,Strcal,
COLUMBIA, PUNIs7A
COLUMBIA CLASSICAL
MECO
%.) ' VV.&
"LINTERS upon its seventh scholastic year on
the 29th of August. Its growth has been
rapid and permanent, while past success and
results, in view of Its present prosperous condi
tion, promise enlarged usefulness for the future.
Already many of its students have entered the
best Colleges, or are found In the various profes
sions and calling:: in life. This Institution not
only affords opportunities to young men equal
to the best Academies, but Young Ladies also
en j o y sErEarott. unueArroN.,tr, ADVANTAGES —a
thorough and extended course in both
SOLID AND ORNAMENTAL BRANCHES
Special attention given to the
NAVEL SCIENCES, FRENCH, MEN
EMEI
VOCAL Ec, INSTRUIREIVTAL MUSIC,
Including thorough Bass nu) Bartow*
The pupils of this School will enjoy the advan
Loges of six years' successful operation and the
special attention of a full corps of experienced
TEACHERS.
It i; the design of the Principal to enhance, if
possible, tile Zfilcieney of the Institution, and
to make it still more worthy of the patronage 01
the citizens of Columbia and vicinity, a School
where their sons are thoroughly prepared for
College or Business, and their daughters to act
their pan in life.
Attainments, and not agc, is the standard
of admittance.
Boys from town or vicinity are admitted as
boarders iron SIoNnAT TO FRIDAY Inclusive, at
reduced mica.
For Clrculars or further particulars, allarcag
Um S. If. /MUNN.% Principal,
Columbia, Pa
Aug.6-3rn
TOB -PIUN LING, PLAIN AND Olt
eNAIIENTAL,executca with neatness and
dispatch at this ofDice.
HILAWS7 ZAEPPEL.
BRI,Ar,II
The co-partnership has been'dissolved by
mutual agreement. Vernon had reached
the allotted v point of human life, seventy
years, and wished to close out the business
that some younger man might take up his
place. smith also decided to sell out and
retire, having all the property he desired
to be encumbered with.
J o hn Smith out Of business was a fish out
of water; without employment he becaine
desponding ;aid nervous and finally be
came suicidally inclined.
An elaborate will was drawn, in the
which was bequeathed to certain elm rita Lie
institutions vast sums; this accomplished,
the means of eliminating 2111 unprofitable
existence were diligently studied —t ho New
gate Calendar, Syl - Janus Blobb's stories,
Mrs. Croly's Family Receipt Book, and
other standard authorities were carefully
examined. Nothing was found to suit the
case; a speedy taking off was the first re
quirement. Prof. Blobb was consulted as
to the most desirable means of dismember
ing a sunken wreck that impeded naviga
tion ou Jersey Flats. After profound con
sideration the professor recommended a
hollow iron spheroid, tilled with fulminate
of mercury and nitro-glycerine. A fifty
pound bomb was deemed sufficient for the
purpose indicated, and the Professor agreed
to have it ready at a certain day with all
the electrical appliances necessary to ex
plode it when placed in position.
Smith was happy. Here was an easy
taking off. By procuring a boat, taking in
the death dispenser, proceeding to some so
eluded locality, then discharging cargo and
boat into such infinitismal pieces as would
defy recognition by the most expi rt cmoaer
in New York or King's county.
At the appointed time the torpedo care
fully packed in saw-dust was delivered to
Smith, and all the necessary directions for
the explosion given.
A boat having previously been brought
received its freight, and Smith plied the
oars faithfully until it secluded nook in
Raritan hay was found. Here the anchor
was thrown over and the preliminaries of
the dread event arranged. For the tiring,
a magnetic machine had been selected,
Such as are used by physicians for nervous
diseases. It was thought that amply suffi
cient electricity could be generated for the
desired purpose, forty fathoms of insulated
wire had been provided, but Smith cut off
the most of this and threw it overboard as
g °erg.
A NOVEL TO BE BEAD IN FIVE MIN'U'TES
I=l
ME
Moonlight evening—shady grove—
Two young people much in love,
Heroine with great wealth endowed,
Hero handsome, poor and proud ;
Truth eternal—hearts 'united—
Vows of changeless passion plighted
Misses—quarrels—sighs—earresses,
Maiden yields one of her tresses,
Obstacles to be surmounted,
Ugly rival, old and stale,
Overhears the tender tale.
=WI
Morning . in the east looks ruddy;
Scene—young lady's father's study,
Hero with his hat in hand,
comes her ditto to demand ;
Angry parent storms, abuses,
And at once her hand refuses.
Maiden faints beneath the blow—
Mother intercedes—no go; •
Shrieks—hysterics—protestations,
Mixed with old man's execrations,
Exit lover midst the din—
Ugly rival enters in.
VOL. 511.
Tune—a moonlight night once more.
Scene—outside the lady's door,
Lover, with half broken heart,
Swears he'd rather die than part.
Garden—flower, umbrageous shade— •
Many accents—serenades--
Chamber window opens wide—
Debn t, of expectant bride;
Little clog most kindly mute—
Te irs—rope ladder,-bight—pursuit—
Gallant steedstoo tate—nights seren e—
'Edam ph—marrlage—Gertna Green.
Old man's rage—disowns forever
-Ugly rival—scarlet fever.
MU
Old man sickly—sends for child;
Ali forgiveness—reconclled ;
Young man malting money fast—
Old man's blessing—dies at last.
Youthful couple prove probate—
Get the money—live in state—
Mother's wishes crowned with joy—
Doctors—nurse—little boy.
Time proceeds—her ties endear—
Olive branches every year•
Blessings on the good attend
-" General gladness—moral end.
[For the St•r.J
ONLY A NIGGER.
Only a nigger, with hateful black skin,
An ill-fashioned body, and no soul within.
Shoot him down like a dog—his mother and
wife
Are nothing but niggers, and cheap is his life.
There are two niggere less now to stand in our
way,
W/rell WO go to the ballot-box: some AlltUilln
day,
We are noble •Caneassians, be it, known near
and far,
If God's not a respecter of persons, Ice are!
Only a nigger with no brains to think;
Little mole than a brute—take his money for
drink,
And then kick him out; if he dare to come back,
Just ti re your gum:you may kill him—he's black!
For the lowest of white folks what lot could be
worse,
Than to lirtveno inferior races to curse?
And that's what they are matte ler, without
them, Alas!
Thenistit , :s represent the inferior class!
0n12., - ,a nigger! Let us pausein our sin:
Shall we be excused for the nue of our Skill
The blacks may forgive us, but notso that God
For every sin holding a terrible rod.
For our own eatni I plead not the negroes alone,
Let Justice in future for past wrongs atone,
Our insolent pride of race, hatred and scorn
May be visited on generations unborn.
11115crIlaurou$
HOW JOHN SMITE DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE
John Smith, late of the firm of Vernon,
Smith, l Co., had that which should make
life desirable; all that money could pur
chase was at his command.
When the paternal Smith departed this
life be was possessed of a proticiency of
this world's goods which furnished ample
means for his progeny, two sons to enter the
world in good shape or enter into business
arrangements for the further aermmulation
of cash. James Henry Smith invested his
legacy in good, large interest-paying secu
rities, and resolved to take life easy, avoid
ing the perplexities incident to a business
lite; shortly afterwards a marriage consu
mated with a wealthy widow, made every
thing in the future lovely fin• James Hen
ry. Per contra, John, our hero, resolved
to lead an active life. One of his father's
old friends. Lloyd Vernon„ offered him a
share in his business in consideration orate
amount to be paid in hand. John quickly
accepted the oder, and at once entered on a
prosperous business career.
Twenty years have passed. Our hero, at
the age of forty, is in possession of a fortune
which he knows not what to do with.
entirely superfluous for the occasion. In
re-uniting the several parts the insulated
outside was brought in close contact, but
the copper core had no connection ; so all
being in readiness, Smith said his prayers
and commenced to turn the crank, but the
more he turned the less came the explosion;
after working the machine to its full power
for an hour and a-half, he pulled out the
wires, threw them and the electrical ma
chine overboard and pulled hack to New
York. Arriving at a late hour of the night
at one of the ferry slips, he was arrested as
a suspected dock thief, lodged in the sta
tion-house over night, and only obtained
liberty the next morning by lobbying with
the clerk of the court before whom he was
brought, who gratefully recommended him
to join the ring if he intended to continue
in the lightening business.
The boat was found after much search,
with the cargo intact ; the bomb, being un
der the seat, escaped the lynx eyes of the
thieves' confederates, the policemen.
Blobb immediately received a visit.
Smith in no mild terms denominated Blobb
a humbug. Blobb retaliated, affirming:
" Das bom vas Boot enough to plow up
dwenty cheeps." Blobb promised to in
vestigate the cause of the difficulty and re
port immediately.
Smith departed but was not satisfied.
As he was turning out of the street on
which was the chemist's laboratory, a con
cussion of the air and a heavy detonation
caused him to quickly turn about. The
Professor's house was rising and being dis
seminated throughout the neighborhood.
Here was a chance for the desired consum
mation missed to Smith ; the thought was
most harrowing. If he had but remained
with his pyrotechnical friend for ten min
utes his troubles would have been ended.
'Rushing back to the crater's mouth a scene
of wholesale and retail destruct ion was vis
ible. A large crowd was rapidly assent
held, and every possible effort made to re
cover the hodios of Professor Blobb and his
assistant; finally, from the ruins some
grimmed portions of dismembered human
frames were recovered.
The police were early on the ground to
discover valuables lying around loose a • d
desiring protection. Seven coroners were
on the ground ; each had discovered a por
tion of what had once been a human being
and had then and there resolved to sot on
the moth hated remains. Eighty-tour jury
men were sworn in, and fourteen surgeons
employed to make post-mortem examina
tions. A portion of a leg had been landed
in Brooklyn. Two coroners hearing of the
fact, arrived on the spot at the same time ;
a fight ensued for the ensanguined remains;
at the end of the thirty-fourth round,it was
discovered that while the fight was pro
gressing, another coroner had stolen away
the leg and was then engaged in holding
an inquest on it. Result of the fight: Cor
oner A., two black eyes, one ear nearly
gone and face much marked ; Coroner 13.,
nose bit oil and most of his teeth hammer
ed in.
In duo time eight verdicts were brought
all entirely different, and neither approach
ing the truth in the least degree. Twenty
six undertakers desired to conduct the fu
neral arrangements. As a compromise,
each was allowed to furnish two carriages
mid to chuck dice for the balance of the ar
rangement ; the two highest throws to have
the providing of the coffin and lay out, and
the next two the hearses. There were
seventeen fights at the funerals between the
drivers of opposition funeral carriages.
One of the hearses was overturned four
times and the other twice. Finally the
small fragments of wrecked humanity were
interred, and Smith was at liberty to look
up new means for the successful accom
plishment of his object ; for since the ex
plosion his time had all been taken up in
assisting at the inquests and funeral obse
quies; he attended all the inquests, resolv
ing at each to give in his testimony, but
the thought that he might be charged with
murder deterred him. And this man was
contemplating murder in the number one
degree, yet we will not moralize.
The sea having failed to afford suitable
adjuncts for a quiet suicide, Smith resolved
to try the country. Far up among the Ad
irondacks dwelled a male cousin who had
frequently importuned him to " come up"
and take a shoot at the "deer" which were
becoming very prevalent and allow the
mammoth mosquitoes (which could dis
count the ./erey phlebotomizers every day
in the week) to draw off a little the surplus
blood which accrued from sedentary habits
and high living in New York.
But tirst,to provide the engine of destruc
tion that was to hurl him trount firmatnent
to grope among the stars. Nitro-glycerine
had been decided to be one of the most po
tent combustibles provided the right means
of exploding it could be bully understood.
A call upon the agent for the sale of this
material allayed all doubts as to the feasi
bility of this motor to accomplish the object
in view. Simply a percussion wafer at
tached to the nitro-glycerine, and the igni
tion of the wafer by gentle assault. Ten
pounds for experimental purposes, as our
friend S. denominated it, were supplied,to
gether with the necessary wafers; then
away to the Adirondacks to enjoy the mo
squitoes and read Bobby's Guide.
EME!
Smith arrived safely at die house of his
cousin and was most hospitably received by
the wile, the husband being away for the
day.
sever had time passed more pleasantly
than to Smith that summer afternoon. His
cousin's wifo was most entertaining.
Wretch that be was, he thought if there be
such women in the world, why should he
not be married and happy? Yet he could
not forget the fell purpose that had attract
ed him to this antediluvian spot. Going to
the barn where - was deposited his dear
death-bearing agent, he caressingly fond
led the Can, applied one of the " warranted
sure pop" metalic wafers, whistled a bar of
"how can I leave thee," abstractedly put
down the can, and returned to the house to
hold sweet converse with the syren who
bad ensnared him. Punctual to the hour
came the male persuader of the family.
Urged by the wings of love, he so much ac
celerated his horse's pace that he wes bath
ed in a profound perspiration, (the man or
the horse, just as the reader plesses; he pays
his money and takes his choice). His
breast was flecked with foam, and from his
nostrils canto quick exhaustive puffs of
breath, indicating rapid action of lungs and
strong vitality.
As is usual in most country towns and
hamlets the family carriage is kept within
the centre door of the barn; on the one side
cattle and horse stalls, on the other bays of
hay to supply the winter's feed, or if a large
stock is kept, there aro stalls on each side
and the bay is stored above.
Into the center floor drove the uncoucious
victim; n storm that had been gathering
now sent out its portentious roar and livid
flash, peal on peal titiluted the sympathetic
membrane of the eur, flash on flash dazzled
the eye. It was a grave scene; awful yet
subime ! It seemed as though the electric
fluid was permeating all space !
Emhart Fitz Green Brown drove franti
cally into the barn to escape the impel:ling
storm.
$2,00 Per Year, in Advance; $2.50 if not Paid in Advance.
The horses neighed with affright, the cow
lowed, the bull bellowed, the pigs squealed'
the hens gatheted their chickens under
their wings, the geese waddled in the pond
anticipating a revivifying addition to the
ageous element in which they were wont
to disport. To the centre floor of the barn,
horse, wagon and freight wore rapidly cul
minating. In the farm house all was calm;
honest industry hankered for no impossible
adjuncts of domestic economy; the cat pur '
red on the hearth unmindful of the gather
ing chaos without, first opening one eye,
and then the other, helplessly blinking at
the fire-light, from between the bars of a
number three "Empire State" Troy-made
stove. No sunlight stole within the vine
embowered windows ; dark portentious
clouds bad choked his light (The Sun). The
clock ticked dismally from the mantle (it
was not a french Ormlu, but a machine set
a-going by the Connecticut Clock Coin
pany); the house dog, if there had been
one, would have occupied the vis-a-vis of
tabby, but they bad no house-dog. What
is home without a house dog?
As the evening, shades set in
Hear the house -dog's deep-mouthed bay.
All the time it seems to be saying,
"Day from me has gone away."
Far he the night when the moon sails
He bays the moon, and not obeys
The command of his master "Down str,down."
He is sad and lonely, and thinks of the days
When his masterawokeat sol's earliest rays.
And fondling him kidly, caressingly said,
"Well done, old Towser, your. notes have
awoke
A. feeling of strength for a hard day's work
The horse's iron-shod hoof strikes the ful
minating wafer on the nitro-glycerine can ;
Brown was uncerimoniously ejected from
the wagon, and together with the horse,
roof of the barn, and other immediate mat
ter, commenced a sail in the air. !navy
white dust-like cloud chscured the view for
a moment.
Smith and Mrs. Brown, startled by a
heavy detonation, and the glass being all
blown from the windows, rush nut of doors
to booold a mass of debris where once stood
the chief farm out-house. Even then the
thud! thud! this ! of objects returning
from the aria elevation could be heard,
for awhile the tempest had :ime... Speed
ily the war of the elements was renewed.
Heavy thunder and bright lightning en
grossed the scene.
"The lightning has exploded my chiding
nitro•glycerine," cried Smith.
"My poor husband is killed !" exclaimed
Mrs. Brown, quickly recognizing in the
debris remnants of the wagon and horse.
"Hero is a pretty kettle offish," solilo
quized Smith ; "my hopes defeated and
my friend killed. I am the most unfortu
nate creature in the world."
First the now-made widow had to be con
soled, and her fright abated ; then a search
for the dear departed. Two near neigh
bors, hearing the explosion above the thun
der's roar, were soon on the ground and as
sisted Smith in his researches. In a short
time their efforts were rewarded by the
discovery of a body near where had been
an out-shed. Examination of - features
proved it to be the farm hand, who had ev
idently sought shelter from the storm in
the shed, and had there met his death. ...kt
last far away in the field, mixed with some
remains of the wagon, was found the body
of Brown, or at least that portion that er
mained, for one arm, and one leg from the
knee down had been carried away by the
strength of the explosion.. The other por
tions of the body were found some distance
front the trunk. coroner's jury decided
that the deceased came to their deaths by a
visitation from Heaven. The funeral ob
sequies were brought to a for tuitous con
clusion.
Smith comforted the widow as he best
knew Low; settled tip the estate for her,
desperately resolved to give up suicide and
take to matrimony, which, as be bad been
often told was the next best thing. lie
married the widow, and is now living a
happy, contented life,tbough his conscience
does sometimes prick him for the hand he
had iu so many sadden deaths in his most
unfortunate attc -Ipts at suicide. C. C. N.
TWO WAYS
"There are your month's wages," said
Mrs. Steel, tossing some bills into the lap
of a young girl whom she employed in her
kitchen ; " and if I should do justice to my
self, I should keep back full half of it. I
hope next month you will try and be a lit
tle inure help to me—not move about so
slowly as you are accustomed to, and take
a little more pains in handling dishes.
Many housekeepers would have taken the
price of that pitcher you cracked, out of
your wages , and I tutu not sure but I shall
adopt some such plan in future."
The young girl took the money with a
moody look, and went about her work with
a heavy, resentful spirit. These hard words
situ felt, were undeserved, as she tried to
please by doing her work faithfully. But,
all' through the house the system reigned.
It was one continual scene of fault-finding
front morning till night. No wonder that
the angels of peace and happiness spread
their white wings and lied away.
In arose-wreathed cottage just over the
way, it was also Bridget's pay day.
"lien) are seven dollars, Bridget, and
may they do you a great deal of good. You
are getting on nicely now,and learning fast
Ledo work in toy way. 11.1r.11oward thought
you had quite excelled yourself in yester
day's bread and pipes."
Bridget's face was all aglow with pleas
ure us she opened her hand to receive the
uwuey.
"Indeed, ma'ma, ifs all from the patient
teaching I've had. My last mistress called
Ine a dolt :and a blockhead, and I didn't
much care for to please her. But if you
please, =Cow, I would like your advice on
a little matter. Would you wait till I got
money enough for a shiney silk dress or
would yer jest spend yer money now for
what yer needs ?"
"By all means, get you a good, comforta
ble pair shoes, Bridget; and I would advise
a neat &lain° dress also. A cheap, poor
silk, is not near so nice as a pretty fresh
calico."
Then followed some excellent advice to
the young girl, which was listened to with
the deepest respect, and which gave her
some new and valuable ideas on the subject
of what was tasteful and becoming in dress.
Little by littleshemouldedand wrought over
the plastic mind into something, far better
than the early promise gave her reason to
hope for. For five years t heyoung woman la
bored faithfully in the service o f her kind ens
ployer, and only left her to enter a home of
her own. how much better was she tilted
for that position by the kind and judicious
training of those live years! how much
better too, was Mrs. lloward served, than
her neighbor,Mrs. Steele, who looked upon
her help as only mechanics, out of which to
get the greatest possible amount of labor.
It takes time and long practice to do this
' but it is part or the work, desponding house
mother, twat God bas given you to do,
Do it so bravely, so kindly, so well,
Angels shall bastes the story to tell,"
Tns census of New York city, now near
ly completed, will show a total population
Of less than 9i30,000. •
s , s
I=
[WHOLE NUMBER, 20,857.
SARATOGA AND BONAPARTE.
At the close of 'the'RevolutionttrY
old Hessian soldier settled upon a small
farm situated about two milas south of the
centre of the village of Saratoga. It was a
most picturesque place, and the " clearing"
at the time was hidden from the public road
by a dense pine forest. Just north of the
farm-house is a little lake, which, in its
primitive state, was so deeply overshad
owed by tall trees that the sun never fairly
illuminated its mirrored surface. The con
sequence was, its waters, in the sultriest
heats of summer, were almost of an icy
coldness. It was, and is indeed, a natural
paradise for trout. To this romantic place
the earlier visitors of Saratoga, who were
luxuriously inclined, used to carry their
choice wines, and indulge in their nectar
while eating trout caught from " Barbytes
pond."
The owner was considered an eccentric
man, for when he established himself on
the farm be stated that the possession of
that "pond" more than compensated for
an inhospitable winter climate and sterile
.is time wore on, however, his taste
was vindicated, for this same "crystal well"
became a source Of profit, and brought to
his bumble dwelling the best people of the
land.
Among the visitors to Borhyte's, on one
of these memorable occasions, was Joseph
Bonaparte. Ile had but recently arrived in
this country, and was quietly looking about
for some eligible - spot' whereon he could
build himself, most literally, a "princely
home." He was from France,and had been
King of Sicily and Spain, and all that was
favored by nature in soil, climate and scen
ery was to hint familiar. In pursuit of his
purpose of founding a home in -America, he
had visit en sonic of the most celebrated lo
calities of the Northern and Middle states,
but wavered in making a selection. The
moment, however, he saw the little trout
lake, and examined its surroundings, he
seemed inspired. He threw aside all cere
mony when conversing with its honor, and
gratified the old German by indulging in
familiar conversation, and in smoking one
of , ent IWO%) pipes." At last his ex
majesty announced his desire to purchrse
the farm.
Contrary to all expectations, Barhyte re
fused to sell. The real value of the proper
ty at the time might have been two or three
thousand dollars, and Jos..-ph Bonaparte
increased his offer from the sum named to
the enormous one, as then considered of
t.,irty thousand dollars ; but the queer old
proprietor refused to part with his domain
—his trout pond, he said, should never be
ether than his while he lived. Thus escap
ed Saratoga the fashionable pr.stige of hav
ing a palace and a park, which were subse
quently created at Bordentown, N. J. And
such was the estimate that the eldest bro
ther of Napoleon placed upon the trout
ponds and scenery in the vicinity of the
world-renowned Saratoga Springs.
A MOLASSES Si:WEISE.
An accident, which came very nearly
proving serious, occurred about six o'clock
last evening at Goucher's grocery store in
Diamond. A- couple of men were engaged
in hoisting a barrel l of molasses through
the hatchways - to the upper story of the
building. They had elevated the barrel,
by means of the hoisting ropes, to between
the second and third stories of the building
when ono of the iron clamps which held
the barrel broke, and down came the bar
rel of molasses with lightning-like rapidity.
The barrel went right through the door
and alighted on a table in a dining saloon
under the store, which it smashed to splin
ters.
Around this table were seated a. half a
dozen young men eating their supper, and
as may be imagined, the sudden appear
ance of the barrel created quite an excite
ment among them. In an instant they ran
to the steps and up to the pavement, ex
pecting every moment that the house was
about to fall. Presently, when the fright
had abated, they returned to finish their
repast ; but asked as a favor that the waiter
should not furnish so much molasses again.
At last accounts, the table on which the
barrel alighted had not been found, yet
strange to say, the barrel was not injured
in the least. All in all, the escape of the
party from iustant:death was almost mirac
ulous.—Ohio Er.
The 'Johnstown (Pu) Tribune says:
" There is in the employment of the Penn
sylvania Railroad Company, near this
place, a watchman named Samuel J. Hill ,
who held the position for seventeen consec
utive years. In this time he has walked
6:1,875 miles, or the distance of two and a
hall times around the earth, and yet not
been live miles away front home. Ile has
not tasted a drop of intoxicating liquor in
that time, never been heard to swear, has
not lost a night from sickness in all that
time, and his eyesight is as good as ever.
As a train on the Wilmington and Wel
don railroad reached Warsaw, North Caro
lina, the other day, a Texas chap on board
asked one of the settlers at the station
" What kind of a country have you around
here V' '• Oh," was the response, "we
have a mighty nice country ; all we lack is
water and good society." The Carolina
man was somewhat comforted by the assu
rance of the Texan that another place had
the same advantage.
Tun report that a young gentleman at Al
legheny, Pa., lost his speech by the explo
sion of a lire cracker on the Fourth, has
bothered the eminent doctors. They all
went to writing about the different organs
of speech that must have been affected by
the explosion, and now he turns out that it
was a written speech that he lost, which
was in his pocket, and took lire front the
fire cracker.
SIOISMUND KAUFFMAN. the Republican
candidate for Lieutenant Gov - ernor in N.
Y., is a representative man of the Germans
in this country. He is said to be thorough
ly familiar with the principals of our Gov
ernment, a gentleman of scholarly attain
ments, and a firm adherent of Republican
ism.
Soul: one describing a ban said that it
was a vast assemblage of people who•neyer
met before and who never cared to Meet
again, and that they talked a little, danced
a little, eat a little, and then went htime
cross and tired out.
OF all the declarations of love, the most
admirable ono was that which a young gen
tleman made to 'a young lady, who asked
him to show her the picture of the one he
loved, when he immediately presented her
with a mirror.
As Irishman after enjoying a watermelon
for the first time in this country, passed a
field of pumpkins and remarked, "if they
were so good when green how 'much better
they must be when ripe !"
Box—"Hayti a paper?" Man—"_\`o, sir."
Boy, aloud to Jim—" Say, Jim, don't you
pity those. fellers as etuet read ?"
RI
ININEI