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8
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J. W. 'YOCUM, Editor. "NO ENTERTAINMENT SO CHEAP AS READING, NOB ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING." $2,00 Per Year, in Advance; $2,50 if not Paid in Advance
VOLUME XLI NTJMBER 13.]
, COLITTMI3IA_, PA., SATURDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 6, 1869.
[WHOLE NUMBER,2,OBI3.
THE COLUMBIA SPY,
,DAILY AND WEEKLY
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
wi:EKLy,
li.a3 per year, if paid in advance; six inontlts,Sl
fI not paid until the expiration of the
year, it 2.50 will he charged.
Gantry FIVE CENTS
No paper %rill be dlseontinued until all arrear
Al;e , arc pill], unless at the option of the. editor
R.ATES OF ADVERTISING:
LINE, SPACE MA KC A ,QUAItE
1.1.w12 w'llml2,ml3mlemilyr.
-
.0t) ^ - ~ .0.110 I . 0,00 I SHAW I $12.00
_
I :, j .2;911 I 1.00 I toil I SARI 1 12.0015.011
O Loa I (WO ;LW I 12.0(P I 18.00 x_5.01,
7.00 9.00 I 12110 I 15.00 20.001 30:1)1'
=ME
1 ) 1. 21.00 81.00 vo I 711.00
I 1.1 2:1 00 3.1.11.) 4.6:041165.0(71•12.7,00
I it • toe t t lwe rate twill tie charged for Ms
-o.t: or blanit advertisements.
leorti,ements not under contract, must be
II trice.). tile length of time desired, or they swill
n• • ilia aim I an,l ebarged for until ordered out.
•I Li N.itices Yi per cent. more.
N'otictis or AdVertistiletits 10 reading met
er, o ten lines, iii.oo; over ten lines, 10 cts.
;, a. mint.at type.
Ve my Vlvertisers discontinuing their adver
tisements before the expiration of the year, will
charged at full rates as above, or according to
,inttet.
['rims:eat rates will be charged for all matters
tot Ifrirtiq to Mei, bustnc.o..
All a trellising will be considered CASH, after
lrst insertion.
PRO FESSIONA L.
T W. YOCUM
_V T 'l' 0 It N E Y
EMI
COUNSELLOIt AT LAW,
COLUMIIIA. PA
OFFICE—SPY Ilnikling, Bank Street, near
Llenst.
Collections made in La!=Stet' and adjoining
cou n
C:msultationi in English or German.
septll-lyw
J. GULICK,
SU ItO EON DENTIST,
Extracts Teeth without Pain. Nitrous Oxide or
Laughing Gas administered.
OFIAICE LOCUST STREET.
septl-69-triv
-
- D - ) C. UNSELD.
TEACHER OF .11:ST.0
PIANO,
0 ItC„
MELOD EON.
CULTIVATION of the VOICE and SINGING.
Special at tent imt given Beginners and young
tiept.l-t39-lyw
219 LOCITST STREET
Air. • cLARK,
JUSTICE OP TIIE PEACE.
Or'FICE—No. 12 N. Third t.treet.
Oillre 1 lour —From G to 7 A. M. 12 to 1 P. M.,
and trorn 6 to 9 P. M. ii,el3l-99-I,lw
M. NORTH,
ATTORNEY . COUNSELLOR:AT-LAW.
Colmbia, Pa.
Collections promptly made In Lancaster and
'Carl:Counties.
A J. K. A UFFMAN,
tl ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Collections ina.le in Ltniettster and adjoining
Counties.
Pensions, Bounty, flack Pay, and all claims
against the government promptly prosecuted.
Locust direct.
SAMUEL EV
JUSTICE OF THE PE SCE.
t.).1. - we, on Sr,con,l St., adjotning Odd Fellows
Ilan, Colon - 11,1a, l's.
T y Z. 11.0FIF
it;aTtsOxide:Gl ) ; the extrac
tion or Toeth.
o flee— Front Street, imxl door to R. Williams'
Drug Store, lietween i.oemt mai Walnut Streets,
Columbia Pa.
371
p ( ec, SUR( EON.;
mr,r, to Litt citizen, 1,1
Columbia alai Ile :nay lie lomat at the
t•1,111“ . .1 wit re.i t jeni•ii, on tie,onti
Union. every city,
troll 7to a 3f., anti trunc d t,, I'. 31. Person"
ivkqing tri betWelq I
Iv ,L• trot i** note nt hi, other,
or Litt. attic t hit I ,
• •
I)Esti,l
GraMeste tat l'entisylv mitt r olleaa , of Dental
Surzery • 1•11t.t. 111111.1111 g. liyer
ry ~....k store. En-
Iran i!".',/ i, .••1,1 Street,
ttolumitin, llonren.
S '`ul.l 11 tII to. 1 1 114,:1•:.'11.1: 111111 the pub
lic in g,imw.ll Inv their patronage In the
pa•t, met ,t,•tirint4 I lean that they eon rely 1111011
11.1 . :1114 :11101111..21 •!.1 1 .n.11 40 1 hula in the
future. In every a his profe,,ion he
Itn , ;Mx tt., alven eat tee •talktaetion. Ile call , .
uttelltionlimonliel , -sett style and 11111,11
u4et 4.1.•1 te in-el te.! by him. 11, tretn,
ilt,e 1.0, ...1 .11 ill 10 the 111011411 111111 teeth al
011110100 an 1 .014:II,. Teoill tilled iritli the 1-11 ., 1 1 1-
0•1 an 1 Pt the in lipproved manlier.
AeMn I tiled:in I tilleti to last for years.
Ttie le•st 1111.1 111011411 Nv1),1142,, VO/1-
51111111 y 011 11.11111
N. IS—.lL' I: \corralled.
J. S. SMITH. D. I). S
rpnwi AS •3. DAVIS,
ATTOILNEY .11' LAW
No. 1 t North 'Duke :Street, Lancaster, Pa
Professional Business carefully and prompt
ly attended to. foetatraii-tf
1101 E LS.
. -
W ESTE RN noTEL,
.2510 , ;. 9, 11, 11 L 15 COIINLANDT STREET,
NEW YORK.
THOS.. I). WINCI.IEziTER, PnopniKron.
Irotel ic central and convenient for Penn-
A 134 E Thsitr.Ev... of Heading, Pa.,
iv an l'isb.tant at this Hotel, Mid will be ttlitil to
see h. f. friend.: at all times.
ENIUM
'Nits . HOTEL IS PLEASANTLY LOUATED,
h,•L'Vern he Shit ions of the Reading and Col tllO
- 1 1 I Pennsylvania Railroads,
FRONT STREET, COLUMBIA, PA.
Ain ph aoanninislatiens for Strangers aml. Tine
...tiers. The Bar is stacked with
CiIOICE LIQUORS,
Aud the Tattles furnished with the beat fare.
URIAII FINDLEY,
Proprietor.
sedl-G)•tfv.l
FILANKLI.7.%.;
LOCUST ST., COLUMBIA, PA.
This is a iI rst-class hot el, and is in every respect
ttd,tpted to meet the Iv I,he4 and desires of the
raveling public. MAItTIN ERWIN,
Proprietor,
FREN - cirs
41n the Eriropean Plan, onposlto City Hall Park
N.•.r York. It. FREINCII,
Sow', 1ti.1 , 4.N, Proprietor.
MISHLER'S Jloll.] L,
\Vest 3L•trket Square, Beading, Itenn'a.
EVAN MISITLEIt,
Proprietor
septt-lii4lw]
yt + f3ALTBY TO USE,
.1..)1. BA LTIMOB E.
Cols hotel hie: been lately related ~ vith nll the
neee,sary improvement, li:110W11 to hotel enter
prise and therefore offers II aeeotornoda-
Wel, to stranger, and others elcit ing Baltimore.
110 GAN,
Proprietor.
qtl3(l-0-tAvl
AEA EIBLE WORKS.
rii)1.17%1131.1. A11133,E ‘VOIIKS.
Tht•suL,ribei... would resp..etfully Inform
tn.: vLtizens of (I,,Stinthig, and surrounding
cotlitt ry, that they have opened
A N EW MARBLE YARD - IN
COLUMBIA,
Ou :th •itteet, between 1..0en.t and Walnut St 4.,
au I .t-It toe p ttr mare or the public.
Tlr,r 11 eve 114.1 areut perlen, on fine work,
u'c, In Philadelphia and Nest York. They will
rurni,“ In the higheN.t ,tyle or the art, handsome
c; RAVE STONES, 3.1 O.NIJ NIE.NTS,
STATL7.I.IIY, 0 lINAMENTS,
also NIA RB mAZ , ZTLF.S, Mil LDIRG WORK.
OriLirs promptly attended and executed at.
cheaper rates than elsewhere. call and see u•
D e signs of new !styli, of Fine work, snob
11101111.11elltal .tine suits. will be furnished
part his npon p (cation to the proprietors.
Sept 1-69- [Ay
Catawba,
COGNAC, OF DIFFERENT BRANDS
Blackberry
POCKET FLASKS
and FANCY ARTICLES, in great variety,
mem, in town, and Is warranted to keep fruits
and vegetables perfee,
SAIOKEs.:Cr AND CITEIVIINIG TOBACCO,
COMMON sEGArs. Also,
SNUFF As TOBACCO BOXES, PIPES—a
thousand and one varieties. Call at
J. C. BUCHER'S,
I, Locust Street, adjoining Haldeman's Store.
It is the greatmst establishment of the kind this
side of Philadelphia.
em. Only Agency for Lee's London. Porter, and
tiiVters.
LEEPTENG s )111:11L.
~. c ..
).:..- 1- tr--
::::.....,.... 14 ~..._. . ..
~ ! ..::._„:..H114 t . I'''''''''' . 0') - 1. 1P :rk .. •••
-
~. .......1
1373C_EfER'S CaLI77FEN:
WHOM
Wholesale and Retail Dvaler in
FOREIGN AN]) DOMESTIC
Wines and Liquors !
Has removed his Store to his 13u tiding, adjoining
lialtleman's Store, Locust St., Columbia, Pa.,
where he has fitted up rooms, and greatl3
Increased his facilities for doing
a more extensive business
MISIILER'S CELEBRATED
HERB BITTERS !
PURE AND UNADULTERATED,
The4e Bitters are celebrated for the great cures
they have performed in every case, when tried
Dr. Mishler offers fire luoalred dollars to the pro
pf Of any Medicine that can show a greater
nnrober of genuine certificates of cares effected
by it,.near the place where It is made, than
HERB BITTERS
MISHLER'S HERB BITTERS
Is for sale In Columbia by
J. C. BUCHER,
At lie Store, Locust Street, Columbia
WINES AND LIQUORS !
Embracing the following;
Port,
Lisbon,
Cherry,
ILtdei in,
Nr-tlaga,
Ch am pagn e,
Claret,
Currant and Muscat WINES
Also, OLD RYE WHISKEY and
BRANDIES of all kinds
18M232!
Cherry,
MUM
Superior 010. aye,
Pure Old Rye,
XXX Old Rye
XX Ohl Rye X Ohl Rye
Pure Old Rye, Mduong3itela
Rectified Whisky, London Brown Stout
Scotch Ale, &c., .te., ae.
AGENCY FOR
MALT AND CIDER VINEGAR
He Is also Agent for the Celebrated
MISHLER'S HERB BITTERS
FOR SALE
DEMIJOHNS,
TOBACCO BOXES,
At T. C. BUCHER'S
AIISHLER'S BITTERS!
PURE A; UNADULTERATED
For Sale by
J. C. BUCHER
BEST STO UT PORTER !
From E. HIBBERT. -LONDON.
For sale
J. C. BIJCHER,
Loeu,t Street, above Front
Agent for the
PURE MALT VINEGAR
Cannot purena.sed at any other establish-
The nest Brands of Imported
SCOTCH AND LONDON ALE
==l
J. C. BUCIIER S
TO SMOKERS AND CHEWERS
BUqIIEIt will still keep on hand the
MMECI
SNUFF, HAVANA, YARA, and
COL.'S COUGH BALS\I b
Tins long tried and popular Rem,,,ly is again
called to the attention of the public. As often
as the year rolls around, the proprietors annu
ally make their bow to the people, and remind
them that amongst the many things required
for the health, comfort and sustenance of the
family through the long and tedious months 01
winter, Coe's Cough Balsam should not be for
gotten. For years it has been a household metli
eine—and mothers anxious for th e safety of their
children, and all who suffer from any disease of
the throat, chest and lungs, cannot afford to be
without it. In addition to the ordinary four
ounce so long in the market, we now furnish
our mammoth family size bottles, which will,
in common with the other size, be found at all
Drug Stores.
The 'Balsam will be round invaluable, and may
always be relied. upon in the most extreme
cases.
The teal mony of all who have used it for this
terrible disease during the last ten years, is,
that it Invariably relieves and cures it.
Keep your throat wet with theßalsam—tak lag
.little and often—and you will very soon find re
lief.
Yield at once to a steady use of this great
remedy. It will succeed in giving relief where
all other remedies have failed.
SORENESS OF THE THROAT, CHEST
Do not delay procuring and immediately tak
ing Coe's Cough Balsam, when troubled with
any of the above named difficulties. They are
all premonitory symptoms of Cousumption,and
if not arrested, will sooner or later sweep you
away into the valley of shadows from which
none can ever return.
Many a care-worn sufferer has found relief and
to-day rejoices that her life has been made easy
and prolonged by the use of Cue's Cough Balsam.
The people ltnow the article, and it needs no
comment from us. It is for sale by every Drug
gist and Dealer In Medicines in the United
States.
READ WHAT YOUR OWN DRUGGSIT
SAYS:
Tne C. G. Clark Co., New Haven, Conn.:
GENTLEmE.N.—I have now been selling Coe's
Cough Balsam for the past two years, and take
this opportunity to say that it has given univer
sal satisfaction, and as a remedy for all Pulmon
ary Complaints it stands unequalled. I always
keep myself well supplied with this truly valu
able medicine, and earnestly and conscientious
ly recommend It to my customers.
Yours very truly.
.T. A. MEYERS, Druggist.
Columbia, PCIII.III.
Rhine,
Blackberry,
Elderberry-,
EAD I READ I READ!
THE ATTENTION OF THE PEOPLE
Jamaica Spirits,
K 1 mmel,
Ginger,
WORLD'S GREA r EEmEny,
Coe's Dyspepsia Cure.
This preparation is pronounced by Dyspeptics
as the only known remedy that will surely cure
that aggravating and fatal malady. For years
it swept on its fearlul tide, carrying before it to
an untimely grave, its millions of sufferers.
Coe's Dyspepsia Cure
has come to the
Rescue !
Indigestion, Dysiupsia, Sick headache,
Sourness or Acidity of Stonzach,
Rising of Food, Flatulency,
Are as surely cured by this potent remedy, as
the 'patient takes It. Although but live years
before the people, what is the verdict of the
masses? Hear what Lester Sexton, of Milwau
kie, says:
FROM LESTER SEXTON,
of Mllwaukle
MILWAL - WIE, J/111. 21, 186$.
..1.1e.54) e. C C. Clark et: Co., New Haven, Ct.
Both myself and wife have used Coe's Dyspep
sia Cure, and it has proved perfectly satisfactory
as a remedy. I have no hesitation in saying
that we have received great benefit front its use.
Very respectfully.
(Signed) LESTER SEXTON.
A GREAT BLESSING !
Front Rev. L. F. WARD, .4cort, Lmatu Ckt., Ohio.]
Iftssm Strong 4- .Armstrong, Drug!,lrtr, Cterelona.
GE:sTLEX.E.X:—/t gives me great pleasure to
state that my wife has derived great benefit
front the use of COWS Dyspepsia Cure. She has
been tor a number of years greatly troubled
with Dyspepsia. accompanied with violent par
oxysms of constipation. which so prostrated
her that she was all the while, for months, un
able to do ttny thing. She toot:, at your instance,
Coe's Dyspepsia Cure, and has derived great
benefit from it, and is now comparatively well.
She regards this medicine as a great blessing.
Truly yours,
January 13th, lbas. 1.. F. WARD.
CLERGYMEN,
The Rev. Isaac. Aiken, of Allegheny, testifies
that It has cured him, utter all other remedies
I had failed.
)
i D
Any druggist in the country will tell you, if
you take the trouble to inquire, that every one
that buys a bottle of Coe's Dyspepsia Cure from
them. spealcs in the most unqualified praise of
Its great medicinal virtues.
lIEAD WHAT YOUR OWN DRUGGIST
! SAYS :
COLUMBIA, PEN A., t
October 13th, 184.01.1
The C. G. Clark Co., New Haven, Conn
Cigsrrs.—l have now been selling Coe's Dys
pepsia Cure for the past two years—and take
this opportunity to say, that in all eases It has
given great satistitetion as it remedy, and is
spoken of In the highest terms by dyspeptics.
It has proved itself a great anti wonderful Medi
cine In numerous eases—as a certain and speedy
cure of Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Distress after
Eating, Souring and rasing of Food, Colic,
Fever and Ague, Bilious Derangements and in
fact all diseases arising from a disordered con
dition of the Stomach or Dowels. I always heed
myself well supplied with the article, and most
cheerfully and eMilielent toasty recommend It to
my customers.
COE'S DYSPEPSIA CURE
Will also Le found invaluable In all cases of
Diarrhea, Dysentery, Colle,Sumnier Complaints,
Gripping, and in fact every disordered condition
of the stomach.
Sold by Druggists in city or country, every
where at $1 per bottle. or by application to
THE C. G. CLARK CO.,
oetl7-ty I Sole Proprietors, New Haven, Ct.
COE'S COLUJILN:
FOR CROUP,
WHOOPING COUGH,
SORE THROAT
HARD COLDS AND COUGHS
AND LUNGS
IN CONSUMPTION,
IN SHORT,
THE C. G. CLARK CO.,
Sole Proprietors, New Haven. et
COLI'MBIA, PEN A., 1
October 13th, 1868. f
I=l
Lassa title, Ireariness,
finallg terminating
in Dr nth
Yours very - trlnv,
J. A. MEYERS, Druggist,
Coumbia, Pa.
MISCELLANBOTIS
OPEN ! OPENING ! OPENED!
TITIS DAY, THIS WEEN,
AND uNTH, FURTIIF,II ORDERS,
BR - E 44 NEM.A_N'S
128 Locust Street,
THE LARGEST STOCK OF
HATS AY.D CAPS,
For Men, Youth and Children, ever before °tier
ed to the people of Columbia, comprising as it
does, STYLE and QUALITY in soft and stiff
brim, such as the Warwick, Ida Lewis. Shiba&
Prince Arthur, American Girl, Kute, Peerless,
Lady Thorn, Rowing, Star, Cuban, Waverly,
Gilmore, Rob Roy, and the Fall style of Silk
Hats, Just out, together with a full stock of
GENTS'
FURNISHING GOODS,
Consisting of White and Colored Shirts, Flannel
Shirts and Drswers, English, German and Do
mestic Hosiery - , Gloves, Handkerchiefs, Sus
penders, Ties, Linen and Paper Coal; and Col
lars, &c. Also,
UMBRELLAS AN]) CANES
Parties who favor us with their patronage are
assured that it. will be our constant aim to
merit their confidence and support.
Call and examine our well selected stock at
at low prices.
1311 EN EMAN 'S
•
No. 128 Locust Street, Columbia, Pa
octiVC9-ly.
MIMI
CH Eat ICA L.S.
t r A. MEYERS
Druggist arid Apothecary,
31)1) FELLOWS' HALL,
Invites e.tteilliOn to a few specialties 710 W in
stock :
PRIME NEW CANARY SEED
OLD PALM_ SOAP IN BAPS
PRATT'S BEE BUG KILLER, (sure thing and
liarmleqs to person q,)
ROTHE'S NEW AND IMPROVED RAT
LER, (the best thing we have yet sold,)
SPLE'SDID LOT OF CTIANIOIS fiKINS
BATH TOWELS, SPONGES AND GLOVES
CORK WOOD FOR SHOEMAKERS
COARSE AND FINE PEI'PEII, ground in the
EIMIE
PURE SPICES AND CREAM TARTAR
Together with our usual large stock of D11170:4
MEDICINES and DRUGGISTS SuxuatEs which
are entirely CASH purchases.
PIIYSICIA.SVS FRESCRIPTIONS and FAMILY RE
aims prepared. by night or day with accuracy.
Reniember the - ' - '
FAMILY MEDICINE STORE,
scpt.4'69-tfwl Odd Fellows' Hall
T
13. KEVINSKI,
]fl ALER 7.
PIANOS, ORGANS, MELODEONS,
AND 'MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS
GENERALLY.
A large assortment of Violin', Flutes,
Ilatijo4, Tam borines, Aecordeons, Flies, Har
monicas, nod musical tnarehandhe always on
hand.
SEIEFI I MUSIC.
A large stock; on hand, and constantlr reeel O?.
n
all the latest public ‘t toe as soon as issued.
31usle and .I%losleal 1300k4 will be sent by mall
tree of postage, when the market price Is remit
ted.
DACALCOMANIA,
Or the Art of transferring Pictures. Can be
transferred on any object.
I would call special attention of the Coueh
makers to my stuck. of Datcalcornan la.
I=l
STEINWAY & SON'S PIANOS, PRINCE a.
CO'S., & NEEDIIAM 8 SOPS CELER
ORGANS AND MELODEONS.
Sole Agent for Stoll's Unrivaled PIANO
FORTE AND FURNITUREPOLIsH.
Call and examine my stoelc.ut
NO. 3 NORTH PRINCE STREEI
L A:STA ST.EIt, PA
COOPER CONARD,
S. E, cor. 9th & Market Ste.,
PHILADELPHIA
Raving rebuilt their store, will open about
October Ist, with an elegant stock, to which
they invite an examination.
Upwards of seventeen years of act ve busi
ness at their present location, enables them to
judge of the wants of their patrons, to buy at
the lowest prices and to sell at t he smallest mar
gin of profit. Full lines of
BLACK SILKS,
DRESS STUFFS.
SILK VELVETS,
CLOAKS, SHAWLS,
HOSIERY, TIES,
HANDK ERCII IE FS,
COLLARS, CUFFS. &c.,
WHITE GOODS,
BLANKETS. QUI LI S.
MUSLINS, LINENS,
CASSIMERES, CLOTHS,
CLOAKINGS,
VELVETEENS, Ac., AC.
COOPER hCO AHD
S. E. enr. 3:10 th 3101'1:et Sts.,
oet.2-`611.1y-1-`2-3p]
ISM
M. BOOTH,
No. 153 LOCUST ST., COLUMBIA., PA
DEA 1.E12
SEGARS, TOBACCO, SNITFFS
PIPES, &c.,
And all articles usually kept inn first-class To
bacco and Seltzer Yore The public can rely on
getting at our store as good goods for the money
as can be obtained at any similar establishment
In the State.
an not think it necessary to publish rue
priees, as the Good+ will tell for themselves. *
Mus. G. 31. BOOTH,
Locust Street, Columbia, Pa.,
tiepin-0-4 . w] Sign of the Punch.
TO MANUFACTURERS
Rights to use "ALLEN'S PATENT ANTI
LAMINA" will be Issued on application to the
undersigned. It is a'
Sure Preventative of Seale in Boilers
This article will be furnished at Six Doz.LAIL9
per Can, or we will r.ell rights to make and use
the same for
Teo Dollars pdr annum for each Boiler
The material for making the .4nti•Lemina will
be supplied by us, If desired, at low prices.
Rights for Counties, States or other Territory
for hale at fair rates.
ALLEN As NEEDLES,
Dealers in Oils,
No.-12 S. Delaware Avenue, Philadelphia
Circuital; will be sent on application.
oct2-13t
STEAM PRINTING.—CuII at the
Steam Printing Meuse of the COLUMBIA
2r, Y, rear of Columbia National Bank, and ex
amine specimens of Letter Ileads,Notes,Cards Ace
WEDDING CARDS
neatly printed at fhb; nerleA,
Bill and Joe.
Come, dear old comrade, you and
Will steal an hour from days gone by,—
The shining day when life - was new,
And all was bright with morning dew,—
The hasty days of long ago,
When you were 13111 and I was Joe.
Your name may flaunt a titled trail,
Proud as a cockerel's rainbow tall ;
And mina as brief appendix wear
As Tam O'Shanter's luckless mare;
To-day, o!‘i friend, remember still
That I am Joe and you are BM.
You've won the great world's envied prize
And grand you look to peoples' eyes,
With H 0 N. and L. L. D.
In litg brave letters, fair to see,—
Your fist, old fellow l oft' they go!
How are you, Bill? limy are you, Joel
You've worn the judge's ermined robe;
You've taught your name to halrthe globe
You've sung mankind a deathless strain ;
You've made the dead past live again:
The world may call you what it will,
But you and I are Joe and Bill.
The dinning young folks Stare and say,
"Sce those old buffers, bent and gray,—
They talk like fellows in their teens!
Mad, poor old boys! That's what it means,"—
And shake their beads; they little know
The throbbing hearts of 13111 and Joe!—
How Bill forgets his hour of pride,
While Joe sits smiling nt his side;
How Joe, in spite of time's disguise,
Finds the old schoolmate in his eyes,—
Those calm stern eyes that melt and till
As Joe looks fondly tip at
Ale, pensive scholar, what is fame?
A fitful tongue of leaping dame ;
A giddy - whirlwind's fickle gust,
That lifts a pinch of mortal dust ;
A few swift years, and who can show
Which dust was Bitl and which was Toe
The weary idol takes his stand,
Holds out his bruised and aching hand.
While gaping thousands come and go,--
How vain it seems, this empty show:—
Till all at once his pulses thrill;
'Tis poor old Joe's “God bless you, Bill
And shall we breathe in happier spheres
The names that pleased our mortal ears.
In sonic sweet lull of harp and song
For earth-born spirits none too long,
Just whispering of the world below
Where this was Bill, B.llli that, was Joe
No matter; our home is here
No sounding name is half so dear;
When fades at length our lingering day,
Who cares what pompous tombstones say;
Read on the hearts that love us sti 11,
Hie jneet Joe. Hiejaett
Ittiocctlancouo gout*
A volume could be filled of the strange
delusions entertained by madmen, and the
remarkable pertinacity and cunning they
display in carrying out the whims of their
disordered minds. in their wild freaks
maniacs frequently evince a method in
their planning. an adroitness and coolness
that would do credit to the shrewdest sane
person. We give below a thrilling inci
dent which actually occurred as 'elated,
one of the parties to it having been a
prominent army officer.
When my reiment was mustered out
.of , service. I -bible adieu to: my -? ord cora"-
rades, and to the army. and opened an
office in the flourishing town of L--
As I was starting for the supper table,
on the evening of the third day after my
arrival, the office bell rang violently, and
soon the boy came in, and said that a man
wanted to see the doctor.
The vi s itor was standing by the fire
when I entered. lie w.ts a tall, pwerful
man—a perfeet giant compared to my
five foot six;" and his great head and
busby black hair were well fitted to the
monstrous fkun.
•‘ If you are at liberty, doctor, please
come with me. It is but a few steps, cud
you will not need a carriage."
I put on my coat and hat and tollowed
him. It. was my first call iu L--, and
I fondly hoped it was the fort runner of
of many others.
The man strode on a pace ahead of me
all the time,notwithstanding my endeavors
to keep at his side, and he spoke not. a
word, not even answering my questions.
Stopping before a substantial looking
residence on oce of the principal streets,
he applied the latch-key, and led me into
a pleasant little r.oto on the second fluor
(a study I thought it,) hung about with
good paintings and elegant chromos. and
lined with books of every name.
•• Take a seat doctor; I will step out a
moment. 'rake this chair by the fire. It
is a bitter cold night.
The chair was a great unwieldy thing,
but exceedingly comthrtable. I threw my
feet upon the fender, and leaned back on
the cuseion, very well satisfied to warm a
little before seeing the patient.
I heard the man approach the door,
which was directly ilet; of where I sat,
and heard the door open and close again.
- csupposed he hail gone out, but I did not
look around to see. Indeed I had no time.
for a stout cord was thrown over toy
wrists and across my breast, and a hand
kerchief bound over my mouth so quickly
that I could make no move to prevent it.
When I was perfectly secured, my con
ductor stepped in front of me and looked
with much interest at my vain attempts to
free myself.
"Good stout cord, isn't it '!" he asked.
" It has never been broken, and many a
stouter man than you lots tried it. There,
now, be quiet a while and I will tell you
what I want."
He went to a cabinet that stood in the
corner of the room, and taking a long,
wicked-looking knife from one of the
drawers, ran his thumb over the edge,
and felt of the point, all the while talk
ing in the most commonplace manner im
aginable.
" I have studied the art of guessing, for
years," said he, •' I can guess anything;
that is toy guessing chair that you are sit.
Ling in now; and I take great pleasure in
imparting toy knowledge to others. This
is what I want of you to-night. I did in
tend to make you guess that, but I have
thought of something better."
He had become satisfied with edge and
point of his knife, and was pacing up and
down the room, giving me a full history of
the world, interspersed with facts relative
0ct.16:4J-ly
Philudelpbin
Wottrp.
A Guess for Life.
to the art ot guessing, at which times he
always stepped in front of mc.
"Did you ever study it, doctor ? I know
you haven't. I am the only one that ever
reduced it to a science. Since I left my
noble veterans, I have devoted my whole
time to it; and now I ant about, to initiate
you into its mysteries, if you are w.)rthy."
He was standing before me so very calm,
that I did not think he intended to harm
me; but when I looked into his eyes,
burning with the fire of insanity, I felt
that my situation was desperate indeed.
" I must test you," he said. I must
see Whether you are naturally gifted or not,
before I waste much time with you. If
I remove the hankerehief. will you answer
my questions ?''
I nodded an affirmative. and he remov
ed it.
" Now, my dear doetor. you are an en
fire stranger to me. With,ott doubt you
have often heard of me, but it will be a
hard task to distinguish my nut rc from all
other great men of the time. You may
guess it, doctor. What iA it ?"
He had brought his face su near to
mine that I could feel his but breath, and
.1 fancied that I could feel the beat of
those terrible eyes. The lung kee•a blade
he was holding over me—fur what
take my life if I failed.
" Guess! guess !" he screamed.
you fail, it will be your last guess in the
world."
1 dare nqt cry out, the knife was too
near; I could not escape. for the strong
c)rds bound rue to that chair I could nut
Fft, and I could nut lie there, an.l lose
my life. ‘V hat (Lll,' Ido
•‘ It is a Karl and I will give
you three minutes to answer it, - he said.
I summoned all my courage, which had
never yet tailed me—even in the awful
hour of battle—and lookiug him steadily
in the eye. said :
"I know you, sir; so where is the u.e
of guessinz; I have seen you on the bat
tle-field marshalling your hosts to victory.
I have seen you cut down a score of men
with your own arm. I have seen you put
to flight a whole battallion. I know you,
everybody knows you. Your name is in
my mouth."
I remember what he had said about
leaving his veterans, and had tried this
harrangue to divert his attention.
paused to mark the effect.
"Yes 1---yes, doctor But what is it," he
screamed again. "Thirty seconds. !
Great God ! what would I not have
given for a clue to that madman's fancy!
Thirty seconds, and how short a second is!
The knife was raised higher that it might
gain• momentum by. the - distance: •B is
body was braced for the stroke, and his
eye upon the mark.
-Ten seconds more ! What is it?"
There was only one hope for um, and
that was to guess. I felt that he
considered himself some great man, as he I
had spoken of veterans, some great mili
tary cheittain. I thought of our own
heroes and the names of many of them
were upon to: lips, but I dared not utter
them. It was, the greatest chance game
that I ever played. My lite depended on
the guessing of a name. I thought of all
the European generals, but cast them
aside again and came back to our own
side of the water.
"Two seconds !" screeched the lunatic.
Without a -thought, almost without vo
lition, I spoke a name, breathing a prayer
that it might be the right one
Niipoleon Bonaparte'•"
Right !" said the madman, throwing
.side his knife and undoing the cords that
held me. ••I was mistaken in you doctor.
You have true genius; this is your first
lesson; come at this hour every evening
sad I will teach the beautiful—art way to
immortal fame."
As I arose front the chair, weak and
trembling, the door opened softly and
fuur strong men entered and secured the
maniac. I started fur home well pleased
that I had got through with my first gues
sing lesson and fervently hoping I
should never he called upun to take an
other.
Fault-Findins.
=3
If there is a luxury in this world, it is
faultAndiug! At any rate, I thus judge
front the universality of the exercise. It
is not only bread, but cake—at once a
necessary and luxury of life. It some
times rises into a voluntary exercise, but
generally it is a thin;, so thoroughly in
wrought into the mental constitution that
a fish might as well attett•.pt to swim with
out striking the water with his tail, or a
bird to fly without beating the air with its
wings, as for u person to speak of his fel
low-men without fault-finding.
In general, fault-finding may he divided
into the Respectable and the Less Respect
able. The Respectable is usually called
Criticism. The Less Respectable has a
variety of subdivssions, such as rebuke,
scolding, fretting, nagging. etc. Fault
fiudiu4 is, however, a quality which re
fuses to be compressed in o any definition,
or to be confirmed to any limits, and though
it flows far more copiously in some chan
nels than in others, it is by no means
wholly to be found there. It flashes from
the eye, it rides on the curled lip, it is
thrown off by the turn of the head, it is
seen in the sudden elevation of the eye
brows the hand is often lfted up in mute
but striking emphasis in its behalf, it even
suborns silence. There are few things. so
speaking, as a skilful silence.
It may be suppased that, iu the imper
fection of all things here below, there is
never a lack of material for fault-finding
But in Booth, the cause of faultfinding is
to be looked for in the person who finds
ihult, and not in external occasions. A
sleepless night, a tooth-ache, nervous ex
haustion, reaction from convival excite-
tnent, the irritation of mild sickness, a fit
of indigestion—these are the predisposing
causes of fault-finding. There are moral
causes also. Perstins that are very nearly
perfect usually employ their excellence as
a lees through which to behold the mag
nified faults of others. Pe-rsans of vigor
ous conscience are apt to be fault-finders-
Persons of fa,tithous taste seldom find any
thing that quite agrees with them.
A little experience will show that, if
one should put himself in another's place.
or should consider charitably his difficult
ies and trials. or should make allowance
for human limitation and weakness, it
would make fault-finding well-nigh im
possible. And it is. f suppoac, I;.r this
reason that fault-finding, people do riot al
low themselves such liberties.
While fault-finding is a generic trait, su
that man might be defined as a fault-fiud
ing animal, and woman as a fault-finding
angel, yet it is not left iu its natural dif
fused condition. It is organized, and be
comes official. In its official sphere, fault
finding becomes a duty as well as a pleas
ure.
The wile finds fault with the. husband.
Very soon alter marriage. there are cer
tain directions iii which his defieiencies
appear, and paths are duly laid out up
and down through all his weakness, and
daily his affection ate spouse walks up and
down therein. fur her own exercise and
for his. sowing tha see Is of goo] adv ice.
pruning, tying tip. hoeing and raking
with the utmost diligence.
But he is not the subject of compassion.
Ilath he nut reprisals ? Are there not ml
his par times and seasons ? Duch he not
set the woman's sins in order before her
face? Sometimes it is regular discourse,
sometimes impetuous outburst, sometimes
quiet but sharp criticism, but always in
the genuine spirit of criticism, that is,
fault-finding But belt ill the royal qual
ity in its glory?? Ati igetty mother with
romping, headlong, healthy children, that
don't care a fly for anything short of a
general whipping ! Front the time of
rising to the time of sleep, something is
always the matter. The. pockets, the
sleeves. the roues, the hair. the shoes, the
boisterous lau,h, the rule shove, the loud
step, the sly pinch, the spite, the roguery,
the selfishness. the giggle, the suppressed
laughter exploding like a bomb, or rather
like the bursting of a water-pipe, the too
quick and the too slow, the awkwardness,
the clumsy grinding against polished fur
niture,- the -mndless questions, the want'
ings to go somewhere, or to have some
body come here—nh, what a God seud
children are to people who have a genius
for fault-finding—that is, for all mortal
creatures! They are so many maternal
safety-valves.
11 now one considers the duty which
neighbors owe to each other, the fact that
every man is bishop over his neighbor's
affair; if we consider further, what a
friend owes to friendship--(oh the bless
edness of friendship, that gives one leave
to deal faithfully with yoc : to open the
north door of January on you with the
wholesome assurance, " Now you know
that I am your friend ")--what a pungent
dig a wan is conscientiously impelled to
give you when he has been admitted
to the secrets of your life , if one con
siders all these things—and how can he
help it if he lives in mortal society ?—he
will be duly impressed with the wonder
ful provision which Providence (with
some human aid) has provided fur the
exercise of this innate. universal tendency
to fault-finding.
But are there no exceptions ? I am sor
ry to say that there are a few. There
are persons who weakly judge that good
nature is more refining than fault-finding.
Spiritless creatures there are who prefer
to wait on provocation, rather than to let fly
the suitable answer which folly deserves.
I have known persons so lost to self that '
they really took other people's parts ; they
even let boys and girls romp around them
all day without a single snarl.
We have seen weak and sunshiny- na
ture so nearly demented as to excuse and
palliate their neighbor's imperfections.
They do seem to premote for the moment
a degree ef happiness. But what becomes
of the art, the duty, the felicity of fault
finding ?--V. Ledger.
Mark Twain On Mr. Beecher.
The Bev. Henry. Ward Beecher's pri
vate habits are the subject of Mark
'brain's latest contribution to the Buf
falo Erprrs.4. The whole article is ex
tremely funny, but that portion which re
lates to Mr. Beecher's farming experience
is in the humorist's most extravagant vein,
and quite equal to his best efs.)rts. It is
as follow :
Mr. Beecher's farm consists of thirty
six acres, and is carried on on strict sci
entific principle. lie never puts in any
sort of a crop without consulting his book.
Ile plows and reaps and dig 4 and sows ac
cording to the best authoritie.—and the
authorities cost more than the other im
plements do. As soon as the library is
complete, the farm will begin to he a
profitable investment. Book-farming has
its drawbacks. Upon one occasion, when
it seemed morally certain that hay ought
to be cut, the haybook could not be found;
it was to late and the hay was all spoiled.
3lr. Beecher raises some of the finest
crops of wheat in the country, but the un•
favorable difference between the cost of
producing it and its value after it is pro
duced, has interfered considerably with
its success as a commercial enterprise.
His special weakness is hogs, however.
Re considers hogs the best game a farm
produces. He buys the original pig for a
dollar and a half, and feeds him forty dol
lars worth of corn, and then sells him for
about nine dollars. This is the only crop
, he ever makes money on. He loses on
the corn, but he makes seven dollars and
a half on the hog. He does not mind
this, because he never expects to make
anything, on the corn, any-way. And any
way it turns out, he has the excitement
of raising the hog anyhow, whether he
gets the worth of hint Or not. His straw
berries would be a comfortable success if
the robins would eat turnips, but they
won't, and hence the difficulty.
One of M. Beecher's most harrassing
difficulties in his farming operations comes
to the cline remembrance of different sorts
of seeds and plants to each other. Two
years ago this far-sightedness warned him
that there was going to be a great scarcity
of water mellans, and therefore they put
in a crop of twenty-seven acres of that
fruit. But when they came up they turn
ed out to be pumpkins, and a dead to
was the consequence. Sometimes a por
tion of his crop goes into the ground t .e
must promising sweet potato, and comes
up the inferualist carrots—though I never
have heard him express it just. in that way.
When lie bought his farm, he found one
egg in evety hen's nest on the place.
Ile said that. I ere was just the reason wlay
so many farmers ftile.l—they scattered
their forces to, much—concentration was
the idea- So lie gathered the eggs to
t:eater and put them all under one expe
rienced old hen That hen roosted over
that contract tight and day tar eleven
weeks, under th auxiou= personal super
vision 0. Mr. Beecher himself, but she
could not ••ph rase, those egns. Why ?
Because they were those infamous por
celain things which are used by ingenious
and franduleut farmers as "nest eggs."
But perhaps Mr. Beecher's most distress
ing experience was the time he tried to
raise an immense crop of dried apples.
Ile planted fifteen hundred dollars worth,
hut never sprouted. Ile has never been
able to understand, to this day, what was
the matter with those apples "
No one could reasonably be set down as
hopelessly demented for concluding that
1 old Mother Earth was executieg a series
of remarkable phenomena preparatory to
some grand and awful catastrophe, involv
ing her own metamorphosis and the de
! struction, in the ordinary sense of the
word,of everything possessed of animal life
resting upon her capacious bosom. Earth
( quake,xiht:ations uncomfortable near home._
and unusual meteoric' displays in the
heavens of late, of course do much to
weaken the faith of those nervous philoso
phers in the stability of everything sub
lunary, and tend to strengthen their con
viction of the close proximity of an im
pending disaster. A dispatch, dated Cin
cinnati the 2801 instant, states that a bril
liant meteor passed over Dayton, going
northward, early Wednesday morning, and
that it had a long train and was accompa
nied by a rumbling sound and a sulphu
rous smell. At another point, in Ohio the
same meteor shook houses, broke win•
dows, and waked up people," and "sounds
were heard as of three heavy explosions?'
At Buffalo, on Wednesday morning a me
teor '• as big as the full moon" was seen.
It burst with a crackling report, and
threw off innumerable sparks, •'so bright
as to light-up the entire sky over the city."
This meteor was doubtless the same as that
seen in Ohio. The effect of a recent
earthquake shock iu Missouri was to make
the people bring out their dust covered
Bibles for daily perusal, and if' the recent
New England earthquake and the late me
teor have the same effect " then will their
missions nut have been in vain."
TILE, following explanation is as clear as
mud : A gentleman on board a steamboat
with his fatuity, was asked by his children,
"what made the boat gu r when he gave
them a minute description of the machin
ery and its principles, iu the following
words—•• You see, uiy dears, this thing
urnhob here goes down through that hole
and fastens the jigmaree, and that con
nects with the crinkum-crankum ; and
then, that man, he's the engineer, you
know—kind n'stirs up the—what do-yon
call-it with a long poker, and they all
shove along, and the boat goes ahead."
It is always a bad practice to reset
young trees in an orchard or in the same
holes from which old, decayed fruit trees
have been taken away. The reason is
this : the rotting and decaying at the
trunk and roots produce a fungus exceed
ingly injurious, tainting the-soil. If any
one will examine the land, he will find it
full of a net-work of decayed wood, and
the only way to plant the ground success
fully is to grub out the old roots and burn
them, apply lime, and cultivate well.
Voting trees may then do well.
A Physician, at Cape May, walking, out
with a friend or his, said to him : "Let
us avoid that pretty little woman you see
there on your left. She knows me, and
casts on me looks of indignation. I at
tended her husband." "Alt: I see you
had the misfortune to dispatch him!'
"On the contrary," replied the doctor, "I
saved him."
THE New York -Kill calls the fifteen
cent notes "a nuisance." That may be
A), but they arc a nuisance we can toler
ate. It further says, they " are anoma
lous, inconvenient, and unpopular. We
want uo more of them." Seud them thin
way. We still take them.