El A. M. RAMBO, Editor and Publisher. VOLUME XXXVIII, NUMBER 29.] THE COLUMBIA SPY, MISCIIIIIMIS FAMILY BEM PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING. , OPP/OE, IN LOCUST ST., OPPOSITE COLUMO - MA BANS.. ' , ' • -0-- , . • --- - TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. 2,-00 a year if paid in advance :440 " if not paid until the expiration of the year FIVE CENTS A COPY. No paper will beVdiscontinued until' all =- garages are paid unleSS at the option of the editor. .Rates of Advertising in the Spy. lt. 2t. St. Imo. 3mo. Om. ly. 1 sq. 8 lines 75 1,00 1,60 2,00 4,00 0,00 10,00 "16 " 1,50 2,25 3,00 3,50 6,00 9,00 15,00 •3 "24 ' 2,25 3,25 4,00 4,50 8,50 13,00 20,00 [Larger advertisements in proportion.] .Executors and Administrators' Notices, 3,00 Auditors' and A.isignee Notices, 2,00 Professional or business cards, not exceeding - 3 lines, per year„ 8,00 Yearly advertisements, not exceeding four squares with.occasional changes, - . 15,00 Special Notices, as reading matter, 10 cents a line for one insertion. - - - - Yearly advertisers will be charged the same rates as transient advertisers for all matters not relating strictly to their business. Alt Adocrtising will be considered CASH, after first insertion. BUSINESS CARDS A TTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW Li. Columbia, Pa. Collections promptly inane in Lancaster York counties. Cola., July 2, 18G5. J. W. FISHER., ATTORNEY AT _LAW, OfTico on Front Street, between Locust and Walnut, Columbia, Pa. fel). 10, '6G. A. 3. XAUFFRIART, ATTORNEY AT LAW, COLLECTIONS Made in Lancaster and adjoining Counties. Pensions. Bounty, back pay and all claims against the government promptly prosecuted. Office—Locust Street,between Front and Second. Dee. - 1'64. SAMUEL EVANS, dITISTIt'E of the ,eE4CE. OFFICE IN QDD FELLOWS' HALL. COLUMBIA , P. ly. June 18, ISCIS J, Z. TIOFFER, lENTIST.--OFFICE, Front Street next dim ..L.l to IL Williams' Drug Store, between Locust Walnnt sts, Cola., Pa. S. C. EPMENTROTIT,..N. D., T ATE of Reading, Pa., offers his pro -Cession:xi services to the citizens of Co lumbia. and vicinity. Office in Walnut St., belt \\ Second. July 14,'66. FRANKLIN HOUSE. Ctipigi-iLtitel, and is iri every rdsPe l 6l;,adapled,tti'fineet the wishes and lesires of the traveling 'public. 'JAC,OI - ; S. MILLE:ft, Proprietor. Col.. july, 15, '65 itI[SHLER'S HOTEL, LVADT EISHLER, Proprietor. WEST MARKET SQUARE, READEV cr, PEIVITA. Oct. 7th. 1t•. ' GEORGE BOGLE, Dealer in LUMBER OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS; Also, PLASTERER'S HAIR Office and Warehouse—Front Street be tween Locust; and. Union. July 8, ISO. • Confectionery A Ni' FRUIT OF ALL KINDS IN SEA ..ttson. Parties and ram i lies supplied with X c 01.9 rert.M &TAT by the freezer, or in moulds, with prompt oess at GEO. J. SMITH'S • ,A.dieining the Franklin House, Locust St P. S. Also a fine :issortment of Toys find fancy articles constantly on hand. July COLUMBIA FLOUR MILLS, GEORGE BOG-LE, Proprietor. ITIHE HIGHEST CASH PRICES PAID I_ for all kinds of Grain. Superfine and Extra Family Flour for sale, also mill feed of all kinds. Wheat ground and packed to order Town and country custom solicited July 29th 1565. NIIPPLEE •St BROTHER, Manufacturers of BOILERS_ATE E3-,M TN addition to our Foundry and Machine 1 work, we are now prepared to manufac ture every variety of Boiler and plate iron work, Mending and Reparing Boilers :Promptly attended to. Thankful for past favors, we would invite the attention of our friends and patrons to this new branch of our business. SUPPLEE & BRO., jan. 21„135. 2d Street, Columbia, SUSQ UEBANNA IRON CO Manufacturers of all sizes of Refined & Double Refilled ROUND, SQUARE, FLATS, OVAL, AND HALF OVAL IRON. Car Axles, Shafting and Horse Shoe Bars. .t7t.. Orders promptly filled from Stock on hand or made to order. reins, net cash, at Mantifacturer's prices, delivered an Oars orßoat. Office at their ROLLING MILL, ColTimbia, Sept. 23, 651 y T)ODGERS &BROTHERS' SUPERIOR Silver Plated Ware at • E. SPEREN"G'S Cheap Jewelry Store XT EW ST Y - LE OF•WATERFALL Combs .L 1 at _ , aug. 26, • RA:SPBERRYADE: !AFT; well known. Summer ,drink; extra and pure,, by the quart, gallon or barrel, at ; -J. C. BIJCECER'S,, • • .CorFrant and I4ocuet Ste.. . - ~. , : L.: ~''':• .• : ,-• • '.. • -•- • : ' ~,••, - -', - ,•,.. .• :• : •,, - ,_ .- , • ' : • ''• 1, •- - ',-.; - ; . r . •• .....:.2'' ~ : : ;•.:-. 1 .", ' " ,? - iI" , V . : • • ' • -•• • ' . . . . , .. ,? :.;,':,..'.:,':-.. •-, '-.'iii - ,'; ?it,, ' - :„,,,' -,...., ' ' . " . '• ' _ . •••• - ..-f• ~::::-.-,-.. - : , . ' . ...... . .. - - . • . i• - ', - ,..'• ' . .7?:,-::',3 - • ' ;A - ',...• ';-:•,',,'.". .' ' .--...„-,- - ...:•';,,-, - ,T,',l'. .. . , „ ... .• .- . •. ~ . , ..r -...-••••-1. ( i..._- •..,..., . ..................._, ......",..,..,,,,,,,,..,.. , __\,.......,,,...._:_,.....:„.,... „,„.._,...,... _,„„•..,..,,...,. :::: „,,,•......,. : .:.: ; ,:.,....,.. i : . ,,,,,,,,,,..,...„ :•).,„,..,,, .„...........„,„,,,....,..,..:•.,...... ...,.„.,:.:.,..• . . _ • .„.„.„,.., • . . . r . . ' . ' .. ' . . . ' ~.... . . . , .. , . El Foreign and Domestic Goods, which we are Prepared to make to order, in the best manner, and at reasonable prices. We have on hand the largest and best stock of Ready-Made Boys'Cloihing in the City. Particular attention paid to the making of Boys' Clothing to order. 111 Gentlemen, Youths, and Boys, Wishing Clothing made to order, by send ing their measure, as per diagram, will hove their orders promptly attended to. SATISFACTION AND A GOOD FIT GUARATEED. Samples sent to any part of the U. S. ROCKHILL Lt, WILSON, Stonc Clothing Hall 603 . and 605 Clzestnut ,S7reet, nov 24 3m66] PHILADELPHIA. ATTENTION HOUSEKEEPERS. W andEai rettlehisilio,ro s,tdua,iZes such a in receiptof new Sugars,, Meat, Teas, Fish, Coffee, Cheese, Spices. 4, Flour, Fruits, &-e. • Provisions of tip kinels,, , tagether with Woutl c.'AccirtfcSTL:a ware. . _ German fruits, (CT; Fresh Peaches, and all the fancy grocer ies pertainining to a well regulated gro cery store. I am determined n3t to be sur passed in cheapness and in the excellent quality of my goods, Call around and inspect our stock whether you buy or not. A share of pub lic patronage is solicited. GEORGE TILLE, Agent, Locust street, above 2d. illy 7 '6l; tf. NEW GROCERY STORE. Subscriber would respectfully in form the Public generally, that he has just received a general assortment of Sugar cured Iran . No. 1. and Mess Mackerel. • Extra Fine Syrups. Relined sugars of all kinds. Old Rio and Java coffee. English and American Pickles. DRIED AND CAN2 , TED FRUITS. Raisins, Prunes and Prepared Mustard always on hand and of the very best grades. Our stock of staple and fancy groceries is fall and complete and we intend keep ing it fresh, by almost daily additions, Notions of different kinds always on hand. THE rENNSYRINII Rini ROO COMPLINV Are now prepared to receive or forward Freight, between Columbia and Lancaster, and all stations on the Pennsylvania Rail Road and its branches. Rates Between Philidelphia and Columbia. First Class. 2nd Class.* 3d Class. 4th Class 25 cents. 21 cents. 1S cents. 15 cents First Gass. 2nd Class. 3d Class. 4th Class. 23 cts. 20 cts. 17 cts. 14 cts. . Rates between Columbia and Pittsburg. First Gass. 2nd. Class. 3rd Class. 4th Class. 71 els. b 6 cts. • 4' cts. 30 cts. Freight consigned to statwns where the Company has no Agent, must be prepaid. All Freights payable on delivery. H. H. HOUSTON, General Freight Agent, Phila. plr-For further information, apply to S. B. KINGSTON t Freight Agt., E. K. BOICE, Freight Agt., Columbia. A. F. sLAyIsrARE,R, Frt. Agt., Lan'tr. Columbia, July 14, 1866. THIS OLD ORIGINAL GALLERY. The subscriber has completely re-fitted his establishment, and his gallery cannot be surpassed by any in the county, and he hopes by careful personal attention to give the public better pictures than have here tofore been produced. AMBROTYPES, PHOTOGRAPHS, Ivorytypes, Melainotypes, Carte de Vizite, and pi”tures on canvass taken in the best style,, and at prices which cannot be beaten for cheapness. -Likenesses warranted, and a satis factory picture furnished without repeated sittings. Ho asks a continuance of the liberal patronage always extended to this establishment. - Call and examine speci mens at the rooms, northeast corner of rout and Locust streets. Entrance on ocust street. R. J. M. LITTLE. Oct. 24 1863.. E. SPER. G'S. Jewelry Store ;" - BAY RI I ,FOR TILE TOILET.' • ReCommended by all Doctors,' for wash ing. purposes.. 75 cents per bottle, at .r . , C. BUCHER:O, goy-. Front and Locust Sta. July ~ 036 .jt _ THE GREAT CLOTHING norsE PHILADELPHIA. BARGAINS IN FINE CL 0 THING!! I Rockbill at BROWN STONE CLOTHING HALL, 603 and 605 Chestnut Street, PIIILADELPHLI. READY-MADE CLOTHING DEPARTMENT. The choicest stock of READY-MADE CLOTHING FOR FALL • AND-WINTER WEAR. . . Ever oaered to purchasers, comprising all the NEWEST AND MOST APPROVED STYLES, Custom Denartment Our - newly fitted up custom department for Gentlemen,Youths and Boys,now con tains a carefully , selected stock. of Boys' Department MB Ept.7l2,t, - E 4.-79...e.t. — §, - 2 • v • - tit- - g.td 6 • RE • • EZ. fZ 2g I i • e•-; 1z f!' 2 SWITZEF AND LIMBER CHEESE; ENGLISH AND AmEracAN PICKLES, C roceries, Provisions, TEAS AND SPICES. FREDERICK BUCHER. corner 4th S. Locust Streets nao.y 26Lh, ly. Local Freight Notice Flour in Car loads, 2S cents per barrel ctween Philadelphia. and Lancaster. PHOTOGRAPHS. COLUMBIA, PENNSYLVANIA, SA.TUR,DAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 23, 1867. 1866; MALTBY & CASE LOCUST STREET, BELOW SECOND, Have now open A COMPLETE ASSORTMENT WINTER 00 03D S, GREAT INDUCEMENTS TO PURCHASERS. Is especially invited to their SPLENDID ASSORTMENT 'i DRESS GOODS. LATEST STYLES .A-ND FABRICS, ..., 1111 HO OP SKIRTS, 13RADLEY'S DUPLEX, . ' And other popular -makes at all, prices BALMORAL SKIRTS, — VCTI-I — lrl'M Or (7—.) Co .1: :0 S.: InADIES SII.CIIC CLOTMIS BLACK CLOTHS & DOESKINS, FANCY - CASSIMEB,ES, SATINETTS, JEANS, TWEEDS iSz VESTINGS .• - , • IN GE,EA.T . VARIET ° OEITEREIS IIIiIESRIE HODS Comprising every desirabi make and style UNDER-SHIRTS, DRAWERS. HOSIERY, GLOVES,SCARFS, COMFORTS, SHIRTS, COLLARS TIES t.t . c., Ltc. LADIES,MISSES' and GRILMENS SHAWLS, BREAK FAST SHAWLS SONTAGS, CAPS; NUBLAS, SCARFS, HOSIERY, GLOVES, MITS &c., &c., &c. --0— Boots & Shoes of all descriptions for MEN AND BOY'S, LADIES, MISSES Sz CIIILDREN READY )lADE CLOTHING CARPETS, AND OIL CLOTHS, GROCERIES, ce QUEENSWARE with a great variety of other SII.O.SONABLII GOODS An examination of our Stock is respect fully solicited—all goods sold at the very LOW „EST CASH PB.ICES, Warranted as represented Oct. 27 66 MERCHANT TAILORING. Having secured the services of an ex perienced Fashionable Tailor Merchant Tailoring in all its branches will also be carried on in connection with our other already large mercantile business. All orders in that line will be executed with PROMPTNESS AND DESPATCH. Entire satisfaction. both as to Work manship and Fit guaranteed. PRICES MODEIIAITE. -- gm, Orders respectfully solicited. MALTBY & CASE, Ccolnmbie, Pa. Oot. 2T, '65. ' , "NO ENTERTAINMENT SO CHEAP AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING." AIUTURN. 1866 FALL and. offering ATTENTION embracing all the In tho market TIT_T,S, MALTBY CASE. Columbia, Pa. PA:BuIZY'S Golden Mortar Drug Store Is the HEADQUARTERS Ring's Ambrosia ! NVA.ItRA.I%.7TED TO RESTORE GRAY HAIR, AND PREVENT ITS FALLING OUT 1 FOR SALE ;I - .1 , '--'- - 1 - - - •' ., , 1 :.- 4 31 , ,:: 7---'''S:.-:., .._.4::. GOLDEN MORTAR DRUG STORE, FRONT STREET, C.©LLTBIBIA, PA December S, 1813 REMEMBER THE OLD ESTAB LISHED STAND. GREAT BARGAINS AT THE CHEAP CASH BOOK STORE. We have just received from the Fall Trade Sale a selected stock of BOOKS AND STATIONERY, Which we now offer at Greatly Reduced Rates. A large assortment of SCHOOL MERCHANDISE Constantly on hand. Also, STANDARD EDUCATIONAL WORKS. Brooks' Normal Elementary Arithmetic, Brooks' Geometry and . Trigonometry, Rauh's Normal Speller, Sanders' Union Readers. We call special attention to our largo assortment of PHOTOGRAPFI ALBUMS, FAMILY BIBLES, AND DIARIES for 1566 MERCHANTS and TEA HERS Supplied at Wholesale rates, at JOHN SHEAFFER'S Cheap Cash Book Store, No. 32 North Queen st.. Lancaster, nov. 18, '65. PURE WINES &LIQUORS. THE subscriber calls the attention of his friends and public, generally to his large and well assorted stock of pure wines and liquors at wholesale, only retail for medi cal purposes and family use. IMPORTED TUXES& LIQUORS', such as Cognac of different grades and brands. Holland and Cordial Gins. Port Lisbon, Sherry, Madeira, Malaga. Champagne, German, Rhino, Clarret, Wines, &c. Domestic Wines and Liquors, Domestic Brandy, Domestic Gin, XXX Old Rye, XX Old Rye, X Old Rye,Bour bon and Monogahella, Whiskies, Wines, Catawba, sweet and tart, Currant, Black berry, Elderberry, Samburg's Fort, &c. BITTERS, • Mishler's Herb, The great Zingari, Brunen, Stovers, Wine and Cock Tail. Brown Stout, Scotch Ale, Selters' Water. Ginger, Blackberiy, Catawba, Cherry, &c. J. C. BUCHER, - , may 26, '66 cor. Front & Leona. ZIEMER'S BITTERS. .. Sold only by . • , ' J. C. BUCHER, Corner of Front and Locust streets, Columbia. Pa. may lt-tf : , PARIS P.ANCIZ GOODS I For Holiday gifts consisting of Fancy Work Botes Segar Stands, Watch Stands, Vases. dtc. Fine Cutlery, Pocket Books, Combs, ac., at N. Sparing's Cheap Jewelry 11114eret tltl.7' Reading Rail Road. WINTER ARRANGEMENT. December Ist, 1866. GREAT TRUNK LINE FROM THE North and North West for Philadelphia,New York, Reading, Pottsville. Tamaqua, Ashland, Lebanon, Allentown, Easton, Ephrata, Litiz, Lan caster, Columbia, de., dc. Trains leave Harrisburg for New York, as follows: At 3.03, 8.10 and 9.35 A. 31. and 2.10 and 9.00 P. sr., connecting with similar _Trains on the Pennsylvania Rail Road, and arriving at Now York at '5.00 and 10.10 A. M., and 4.40, 5.20 and 10.25 P. M. Sleeping Cars accompanying the - 3.00 A. M., and 0.00 P. M Trains without change. Leave Harrisburg for Reading, Pottsville. Tama qua, Mine' sville, Ashland, Pine Grove, Allentown and Philadelphia, 8.10 A. M., and 2.10 and 4.10 P. 31., stopping at Lebanon and principal - Wsy Stations; the 4.10 P. M., making connections fbr Philadelphia and Columbia only. For Pottsville, Schuylkill Ha ven and Auburn, via Schuylkill and Susquehanna Rail Road, leave Harrisburg at :3.20 P. M. - - Returning: Leave New York at. 9.00 A. M., 12.00 Noon and 500 and 8.00 P. M.; Philadelphia at 8.15 A. M. and 3.30 P. M. Way Passenger Train leaves Philadelphia at 7.30 A. 91., returning from Reading at 6.30 P. 31., stopping at all Stations; Pottsville at 8.45 A. M. and 0.45 P. M.; Ashland 6.00 and 11.30 A. M. and 1..05 P. M.; Tamaqua at 9.45 A. 51., and 1.00 and 8.55 P. M. Leave Pottsville for Harrisburg, • via Schuylkill and Susquehanna flail Road at 7.00 A. M. Reading Accommodation Train: Leaves Reading pt 6.30 A. M., returning -from Philadelphia at 4.30 P. M. Columbia Rail Road Trains leave Reading at 7.00 A. M., and 6.15 P. M. for Ephrata, Litiz. Lancaster, Columbia, &c. - - - - On Sundayi: Leave New York at 8.00 P. M., Philadelphia 8.00 A.M. and 3.15 P. M., the 8.00 A. M. Train running only to Reading; Pottsville 8.00 A. DI.; Harrisburg 9.35 A. M and Rending at 1.20 and 7.30 A. M. for Harrisburg. and 11.22 A. Al. for New York, and 4.23 P. M. for Philadelphia. Commutation, Mileage, Season, School and Ex cursion Tickets, to and from all points, at reduced Rates. , Baggage_ checked through; SO pounds allowed each Passenger. G. A. NICOLLS, General Superintendent, READrxo, PA., January Ist, 1567. Reading A" Columbia ON :IND AFTER' MONDAY, NOVEMBER 26tn, IS6G, TrainsAvill run between 1-fgam - xLcirteartesx-, eCcol - intxxx.7-s.za. -AND AS FOLLOWS; Leave Lancaster and Columbia:S.oD a. m. 3.03 p. Arrive at Readingo.o.2o a.m., and 5.30 p. m. Returning, leave Reading at 7.30 n: m., and 6.05 p.m. Arrive at Lancaster 0.20, and Columbia 9.25 a. m., and 8.30 p. m. Through tickets to New York, Philadelphia and Lancaster sold at principal stations, and Baggage checked through. Freight carried with the utmost oromotnoss and dispatch, at the lowest rates.— Further inform•ttinn with regard to Freight or passage may be obtained from the agents of the company. GEO. F. GAGE,SuDt E. F. ICEEVER, Gen. Freight and Ticket Agt. Columbia, Dec. 1, ISO PENNSYLVANIA. RAIL ROAD. ' 1 • s; 30 Harrisburg Accommodation, 6.3 S P.M. Trqnsleave West, Mail train, 11.55 P.M Hairisburg Accommodation, G. 30 P. M Lancaster train arrives, S. 10 " Columbia Accommodgion. Leave Columbia for Lancaster, 1.40 P.III Arrive at Lancaster 2.10 " Connecting with clay express for Phil'a. Leave Lancaster at 2.45 " Arrive at Columbia 3.20 " ram. C. n. ~/1.ELV.7271.2". Ironic' AND WRIGHTSVILLE R. R Departure and Arrival of the Passenger Trains at. York. DEPARTURES FROM YORK For BxurtmonE, 4.15 A. M. 7.00 A. M., 10.40 A. M., 2:50 P. M., and 9.55 P. M. FOR VirniariTsvna,E, 6.45 A. M., 11.45 A. M., and 3.50 P. M. For H.utrusnuno, 12.30 A. M. 7.10 A. M. 10,40 A. 51., 11.43 A. M, 2.43 P. M.,and 10.- 30 P. M. A.11.R1 - VA.LS AT yon.R. From 13avrimonn,12.25 A. M. 10.35 A. M. 11.3 S A. M., 2.40 P. M.. 6.50 I'• M., and 10.- 25 P. M. PROM WRIGHTSVILLE, 8.45 A. M., 2.35 P. M . ., and 7.30 P. M. Prom HARRISBURG, 4.10 A. M., 10.35 A. 51., and 2.45 P. IL, and 0.35 P. M., and 9.- 52 P. M. On Sunday, the only trains running are the one from Harrisburg, 10.35 in the morn ing, proceeding to Baltimore; and those from Baltimore at 12.25 A. M., and 10.25 P. M., proceeding to Harrisburg. No train arrives from Baltimore at 10.- 25 on Saturday night; and uouel from Harrisburg at 4.10 on Monday morning. I .___ 1-1 1.1 7 S VEGETABLE SICILIAN HAIR RENEWER, Tlio effects of which ore to RESTORE THE HAIR EMI NATURAL COLOR, AND PROMOTE ITS GROWTH. It is an entirely new scientific discovery, combining many of the most powerful and restorative agents in the vegetable kingdom. It cures all diseases of the scalp, and allays all that beat s and irritation, and fur nishes a nutritive principle by which the hair is nourished and supported, and by its remedial virtues, it causes the hair to grow where it has fallen out, and restores it to its natural color when gray. The old in appearance arc made - young again. It will keep, the hair from falling out. - It is not a Dye, it strikes at the roots and fills the glands with new life and coloring matter. It is the best HAIR DRESSINGS Erer used, making it moist, soft and glossy: It removes dandruff, and all those scurvy eruptions. It does not contain oil and alco= holovhich dry up the secretions upon which the vitality depends. No person, old or young, should fail to use it. It is recommendeil and used by the FIRST MEDICAL AUTHORITY. Ask for IDLLL'sVuor.T.A.r.r-r, SMILIAN HAIR liEsuwint, and take no other. Onir Treatise on the Hair sent free upon application. P. WATT, & CO., Proprietors, SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS. i - 10:s7CENTR &TED LYE. OR SOAP .7sler i just reeoived, arid for sale at a ow Ir•M Iry ' R. W7TitikAMS.- $2,00 PER YEAR IN.APVANCE;, $2,50 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE. 7rt - a t V li . Written for the Sr! oun HARRY. ==! He was our first, the blue-eyed darling! . He gathered first our hearts' fresh dew; He filled our souls with love o'ertlowing, Love strong and sweet, and dear as new. We watehmt with care each infant gesture, And radiated back each smile; While from the warm depths of our being Rich love come forth in floods the while. Other sweet darlings came to bless us ; Other soft fingers closed round ours; Other red lips yearned to caress us, And others strewed our paths with flowers But, 0, they were not like our Harry, The tender bud, the firstborn bloom! No music cheered us like his prattling— No smile, like his, could banish gloom. Gray hairs round Harry's brow are clustering, And we are near the lonesome grave; Yet still the love of old is in us, We bless our God who Harry gave. To us he is not old—our Harry, He is our dearest idol still; He holds within our hearts that chamber .No other child of ours can fill! . . . . _ . urou. PuLLADA., Feb. 19th, 1,367 MY FRIEND SPY :—" Variety is the spice of life." I used to write line after line near the end of my " copy book." Then I knew not its foice, now I am wiser. Surely life needs some spice. Much as we all enjoy life, and loth as we are to take our departure, yet we soon tilt of its monotony, and wish for variety, even should the change leave us unpleasantly circumstanced, be it but a change. Thus reasoned the whole house hold of Mr. Avery Bigge Kaph for some weeks past. Each one, artificial and natural, endeavored to devise some meth od by which we might break the daily routine of eating, sleeping, talking, and working, which seemed to confine us within fixed orbits. Many conferences were held, and many things suggested, and the result was, that we must give a soiree or entertainment in honor of some distinguished democratic apostle, who should be invited to be present upon the occasion. But who should he be? This quandary was not long a quandary. Who, but the noblest, the greatest, the lost standard-bearer of democratic prin ciples,—General Hiester Clymer. So we very politely addressed him a very polite note requesting MS 'presence and preferences, to all of which he as polite. - te ; gt ton, puts Jne.. : 4 dening exuberance-- thlity.possessed,',us" . , upon learnibg his determination; and condescension, together with a slight intimation that his " preferences tended towards the celebrated Teutonic diet and lager beer." How variously persons—even white persons—are affected by the mere pros pect of future gratification, e. g. Mr. A. B. Kaph fairly bellowed his triumph, and threw himself from chair to chair in the highest state of mental excitement; Mrs. Dealana Kaph laughed most im moderately, and clapped her hands no less than six times in succession; Mr. O. Dumaza Kaph danced and gamboled through the room at a furious rate, revealing a disposition to kick at the furniture, and swearing that he " must take a horn ;" Rev. Sanque T. Moneus groaned, and with clenched hands sang a long meter doxology; Mr. Green Cabb Idgehed attempted to transplant himself by dint of an acrobatic experiment, with his head in the coalscuttle and feet in mid air, and in a garbled manner re peatedly quoted "Teutonic diet;" Miss Ann Teeke Maydyn took off her spec tacles, got her hair brush, looked in the I glass and fainted; while I, to my utter amazement, when restored to conscious ness, found myself astride Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, pictorial edition, taking notes of the surrounding scene with a piece of chalk on a boot-jack. How the Misses and children wore affected I cannot definitely state, only this, I ventured an interrogatory of Mrs. K., who petulantly and vulgarly replied, that they " acted like calves." Which, I presume is correct so far as it goes. But he is coming,—Hiester Clymer is coming, and I repeat it let him come. Since then, the whole house has been in commotion; bustled from "turret to foundation stones," with the note of pre paration and the ring of completion. But even this is wearisome, time hangs heavily and we are all moodless, restless and laborious, but like all events, it too will come and go, and probably leave us pondering and thoughtful over the vicissitudes of life. Were it not better that events and epochs be simultaneous with the thought and conception of them, than that poor mortals should venture upon tho dark brink of prediction, and there standing peering into the dim future, for the realization of exultant hopes? Times are not what mortals wish them, Fraught with fortune, health, and Rune ; But are changeful, strange, uncertain, Seldom hit by random aim. • Just here my muse, like an exhausted wither's " deposeth no further," and leases me, Yours, in the felicity of, &c , HoonE B. POORE. NOT. QUITE DEAD.-" Wife, I am to live but a few hours at most—l shall soon be in heaven," " You! you'll never be any nearer than you are now, you old brute I You'd look well stuck up ip heaven—l think I see you now." " Dolphus, Dolphus," hoarsely growl ed the old man,," bring me my cane and let me lajrup the old trollop once more before I die." [WHOLE NUMBER 1,953 Editing a Paper. The following was found in the office of an editor by the county sheriff: Editine , a paper is a very pleasant business. If it contains too much political matter, people won't have it: If it contains too' little; they won't have it. If the type is large; it don't contain enough of reading matter. If the type is small, they can't read If we publish telegraphic reports, folks say they are nothing but lies: If we omit them, they say we have no enterprise, or suppress them for political effect. If Ive publish original matter, they damn us for not giving original seleo• tions. If we publish selections, folks say we are lazy, for not writing more and giving them what they have not read in some other paper. If. we give a man • a complimentary notice, we are censured for being par tial. Thwe do,not, all hands "saywe aro a greedy hog. If we remain in the office and attend to business, folks say we are too proud to mingle with our fellows. If we go out, they say we never attend to business. - If the local is too long, they have not time to read it. If it is too short, there is nothing in it If it is city local, they knew it before If it is country local, it is of no use. The host Beautiful Hand. I recollect that once there was a dis pute between three ladies, which had the most beautiful hand. One sat , tby a. stream, and dipped her hand into the water, and held it up; another plucked strawberries until the ends of her fingers were pink;, and the third gathered vio lets until her hands were fragrant. An old haggard woman passing by, asked, " Who will give me a gift, for I am poor.'' All three denied her, but another who sat near, unwashed in the stream unstaine w it fr u i t , , Thadorr.r l with flowers, gave her a little gift and satisfied the poor woman. And then she asked them what was the dispute; and they told her, and lifted. up before her their beautiful hands. " Beautiful, in- „ fant ildwers; - but it iS :the , band that gives to the poor which is the most beautiful baud.” As she said these words, her wrintles fled; her staff was thrown away, and she stood before them an angel from heaven, with authority to decide the question in dispute. Going to Bed. The following excellent advice which we take from Hall's Journal of Health we commend to our readers : Do it in a hurry, if there is no fire in the room; and there ought not to be, unless you are quite an invalid. But if a person is not in good health, it is best to undress by a good fire; warm and dry the feet well; draw on the stockings again ; jump into bed, cuddle up with head and ears under Cover for a minute or more, until you feel a little warmth; then uncover your bead • nest, draw off your stockings, straigltetout, turn over on your right side, and go to sleep. If a sense of chilliness comes over you on getting into bed, it always will do an injury, and its repetition increases the ill effect, without having any tendency to "harden" you. Nature abhors vio lence. We are never shocked into health. Hard usage makes no garments last longer. A Good Conscience. There is nothing iu the world con duceth more t 3 the composureand tran quility of the mind than the serenity and• clearness of the conscience; keep but that safe and untainted, the mind will enjoy a calm and tranquility in the midst of all the storms of the world. And, although the waves beat, and the sea works, and the winds blow, the mind that bath a quiet and clear conscience within, will be as stable and as safe from perturbation as a rock in the midst of a tempestuous eca, and will be a Goshen to and within itself when the rest of the world without is like an Egypt for plagues and darkness. 'Whatever thou dost hazard or lose, keep the integrity of thy conscience, both before troubles come, and under them ;it is a jewel that will make thee rich in the midst of poverty, a sun that will give thee light in the midst of darkness; a fortress that will keep thee safe in the greatest danger, and. that is never to be taken from thee unless thou thyself betray it and deliver it up. • A SnowEn OF SALT.—Wo find in the New Orleans Times of the 4th instant, a very curious story about a fall of salt. It is asserted on the authority of a gen tleman from the Red River, that on the second of the month a shower of fine salt occurred on the Red River about sixty miles from the mouth. There had been a little snow the day before, and on the next day, it being observed that the supposed snow had not melted, it was examined and found to be veritable salt. This gentleman gathered a bushel of it, was found to - be equal to tho best Turk's UP rose our Devil in a rago, and set two lines to fill this page. ~ ~ 'ti