Mil A - .... -; 7,,,a... ,... ,_ —___ 7- ---,.. .. _ . _._, ----- 0 . •,,,, ..-„,... .. z E- 4 ~: 2: e : , -. ;.. _ : , . . ~. . ... _ _ . - . . . .. . . , . . . . ... ~.. . . _ . ... . _- . - r „t ill ... ~,,.... r-Y----- . ... ~... - •.. . •• .., ".,-3.,-. - .'-'7- - - _ _ _ SAMUEL WRIGHT, Editor and Proprietor VOLUM] XXXIII, NUMBER 27.] PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING. Office in Carpet ILdl, Arortli-westcorner of r rront and Locust streets. Terms of Subscription. 94e Copype rannuinii f paidin advance. " tf not paid wald a three ' month &from commencemen year, 200 -I, Closets it cc.3pryr. übscription received lora lc -s time than six ~..onths; and no paper will be di-continued until all 'rrearage sure paid,unlestat the option° f the pub- mrAloncyznayu er c mittedb ymail and epublish• er s rask. Rates of Advertising. q: 1 a r c[6; inesjone week, three weeks. each.ubsequentinsertion, 10 [l2.'inesfoneweek. 50 three weeks, 1 00 enehsub.equentinsertion. 7...argerallvertkementsin proportion Aliberalliscountwillbe inane to quorterly,half eadivot rearlytilverlisers,rsho are s.trieti3eolifined o their business. Eutrts. Mare Mediterraneum A. tine of light! It in the Inland sea, The least in compass and the first la fame; The gleaming of ns wave. recalls to me Full many an ancient name Au through my dreamland float the days of old, The forms and feature= of their Iterces -lane; I see Phcentetan soldier. hearing gold From the Tarte=stan mine. Soaking new worlds, storm-tossed lTly..es plows fteinoter surges of the winding main; And Grecian captain come to pay their vows, Or grislier up the slain. I see the te•nples of the "violet crown' Burn upward in the hour of glorious (light; And mariners of uneelipsed renown, Who won the great >u.o-fignt I hear the dasMing of a thousand oars, The angry waters take a cant-on dye, A thousand echoes vibrate from the shores With Athens' battle cry. Again the Carthaginian rovers -weep With siwold and commerce on from shore to shore! In visionary storms the breakers leap Round Sy - rtes., us ot yore. Victory, sitting on the seven hills, Ilad gained the world when she had mastered thee, Thy bosom with the Roman war-note thrills Waves of the inland teal Nest, singing us they sail, in shining ships, I see the monarch minstrels of romance; And hear their praises murmured through the lips Of the fair maids of Frazier. Across the deep another mu-ie On Adrian bays a later •picador -tmlcs, rower hails the tnurble city where she dwells, Queen of a hundred isles. But the light Wes t the vision wears away; I see the nu=t above the dreary wave; Blow, winds of Pretaloin. give another day Of glory to the brave. grtrztipm From the Comb'll Megttzthe To Esther. Tho first time that I ever knew you, was pt Rome one Winter's evening. I had walk ed through the silent streets—l sec them now—dark with black shadows, lighted by the blazing stars overhead and by the lamps dimly flickering before the shrines at street corners. After crossing the Spank b"-place I remember turning into a narrow alley and coming presently to a great black archway, which led to a glimmering court. A figure of the Virgin stood with outstretched arms above the door of your house, and the light burning at her feet dimly played upon the stone, worn and stained, of which the walls were built. Through the archway came a glimpse of the night sky above the court yard, shining wonderfully with splendid stars; and I also caught the plashing sound of a fountain flowing in the darkness. I groped my way up the broad stout stair case, only lighted by the friendly star shine, stumbling and knocking my shine against those ancient steps, up which two centuries of men and woman had clambered; and, at last, ringing at the curtained door, I found myself in a hall, and presently ush ered through a dining-room, where the cloth was laid, and announced at the drawing room door as Smith. It was a long room with many windows, and cabinets and tables along the wall, with a tall, carved mantelpiece, at which you were standing, and a . Po 111 peian lamp burn ing on a table near you. Would you care to hear what manner of woman I saw; what impression I got from you as we met fur the first time together? In after days, light, mood, circumstance, may modify this first image more or less, but the germ of life is in it—the identical presence—and I fancy it is rarely improved by keeping, by painting pp, with love, or dislike, or long uso, or weariness, as the case may be. Be this as it may, I think I knew you as well after the llrst five minutes' acquaintance as Id° now. .I saw an ugly woman, whose looks I liked somehow; thick brows, sallow face, a tall and straight made figure, honest eyes that lad no particular merit besides, dark hair, and a .pleasant, cordial smile. I seemed to be aware of a frank spirit, uncertain, blind, wayward, tender, uncer somewhat stern exterior; and so, I repeat, I liked you, and, making a bow, I said I was afraid I was before my time. '•l'm afraid it is my father who is after Ms," you said. "Mr. Halbert is coming, and he too is often late;"and so we went on talking for about ten minute',. Yours is a kindly manner, and a sad toned voice; I know not if your life has been a happy 'one; you are well disposed towards every soul you come across; you love to be loved, and try with a sweet artless art to win and charm over each man or woman that you meet. I saw that you liked me, that you held me not quite your equal, and might perhaps laugh at, as well as with me. But I did not care. My aim in life, Heaven knows, has not been to domineer, to lay down the law, and triumph over others, least of all over those I Hie. $1 50 The colonel arrived presently, with his white hair trimly brushed and his white neckcloth neatly tied. Ile greeted me with great friendliness and cordiality. You have got his charm of manner; but with you, my dear, it is nut manlier only, fur there is loy alty and heartiness shining in your face, and sincerity ringing in every tune of your voice. All this you must have inherited from your mother, if such things ore an inheritance. As for the colonel, your father, if I mistake not, ho is a little, shriveled-up, old gentle man, with a machine inside to keep him going, and outside a well-cut coat and a well bred air, arid. knowledge of the world, to get on through life with. Not a very large eapi. tal to go upon. However this is not the way to speak to a young lady 4 hout her father; and, besides, it is you, and not ho, in whom I take the interest that prompts these maudlin pages. Mr. Halbert and little Latham, the artist, were the only other guests. You did not look around when Halbert was announced, but went on speaking to Latham, with a strange flush in your face; until Halbert had, with great empressenzene, made his way through the chairs and tables, and had greet ed, rather titan been greeted by, you, as I and Latham were. EMI So thinks I to myself, concerning certain vague notions I had begun to entertain, I em rather late in the field, and the city is taken and has already hoisted the conquer or's colors. Perhaps those red flags might have been mine had I come a little sooner; who knows? "De tout laurier ten poison est l'essencc," says the Frenchman; and my brows may as well he unwreathed. "I came upstairs with the dinner," Mr. Halbert was saying. "It reassured me as to my punctuality. I rather pique myself on my punctuality, colonel." "And Pm afraid I have been accusing you of being always late," you said, as if it were a confession. "Have you thought so, Miss Oliver?" cried Ela!bort. "Dinner, sir," said Baker, opening the door An dinner-time llalbert, who has very high spirits, talked and laughed without ceasing. You, too, laughed, listened, look ed very happy, and got up with a smile at last, leaving us to drink our wine. The colonel presently proposed cigars. "In that case I shall go and talk to your daughter in the drawing-room," Halbert said. "I'm promised to Lady Parker's to night; it would never do to go there smelling all over of smoke. I must be off in half-an hour," lie added, looking at his watch. I, too, had been asked, and was rather surprised that he should be in such a desper ate hurry to get there. Talking to Miss Oliver in the next room. I could very well understand; but leaving her to rush off to Lady Parker's immediately, did not accord with the little theories I had been laying down. Could I have been mistaken? In this case it seemed to me this would be the very wo man to suit me—(you see I am speaking without any reserve, and simply describing the abrupt little events as they occurred)— and I thought, who knows that there may not be a chance for me yet? But, by the time my cigar had crumbled into smoke and ashes, it struck me that my little cas tle had also wreathed away and vanished. Going into the drawing-room, where the lamps were swinging in the dimness, and the" night without streaming in through the uncurtained windows, we found you in your white dress, sitting alone at ono of them. Mr. Halbert was gone, you said; he went out by the other door. And then you were silent again, staring out at the stars with dreamy eyes. The colonel rang fur tea, and chirped away very pleasantly to Latham by the fire. I looked at you now and then, and could not help surprising your thoughts somehow, and knowing that I had nut been mistaken after all There you sat, making simple schemes of future happiness; you could not, would not, look beyond the present. You "were very calm, happy, full of peaceful reliance. Your world was alight ' with shining stars, great big shining meteors, all flaring up as they usually do before going out with a splutter at the end of the enter tainment. People who aro in love I have always found very much alike; and now having settled that you belong to that crack_ brained community, it was not difficult to guess at what was going on in your mind. I, too, as I,lave said, had been favored with a card for Lady Parker's rout; and as you were so absent, and ill inclined to talk, and the colonel was anxious to go off and play whist at his club, I thought I might as well follow in Halbert's traces, and gratify any little curiosity I might feel as to his be havior and way of going on in your absence- I found that Latham was also going to her Ladyship's. As we want downstairs to_ gether Latham said, "It was too bad of Hal bert to break up the party and go off at that absurd hour. I didn't say I was going. because I thought his rudeness might strike them." [Corn It 111 .llagazine "But surely," said 1, "Mr. Halbert seems at home there, and may come and go as he likes." Latham shrugged his shoulders.— "I like the girl; I hope she is not taken in by him. lie has been very thick all the "NO ENTERTALNMENTIS SO ORE' AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LISTING." COLUMBIA, PENNSYLVANIA, SATURDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 1, 1862. Winter in other quarters. Lady Parker's niece, Lady Fanny Fareham, was going to marry him, they said; but I know very lit tle of him. tie is . much too great a swell to be on intimate terms with a disreputable little painter like myself. What a night it is!" As he spoke, we came out into the street again, our shadows falling on the stones; the Virgin overhead still watching, the lrmp burning faithfully, the solemn night waning on. Lady Parker had lodgings irf the Corse. I felt almost ashamed of step ping from the great entertainment without into the close, racketing little tea-party that was clattering on within. We came in, in the middle or a jangling ca ne. the company spinning round and round. Halbert, twirl ing like a Dervish, was almost the first per son I saw; he was flushed, and looked ex ceedingly handsome, and his tali -boulders overtopped most of the other heads. As I watched him I thought with great compla cency that if any wcinan fur nic, it would not in fur my Links. 's ,! ndd what are mare go,ol look , I,oinparc•l men nil qualities which, kc., &e. e•ently, not quint easy io toy mind about these said mental qualities, I again observed that it was still better to be liked f,r one's self than for one's mental qualities; by which time I turned my attentum once more to Mr. Halbert. The youth wit ,, devoting hint self most assiduously to a very beautiful, oldish young lady, in a green gauzy dress: and I now, with a mixture of satisfaction and vexation, recognized the very same looks and tones which had misled me at dinner. I left him still at it and walked home, wondering at the great law of natural equal ity which seems to level all makind to one standard, notwithstanding all those artificial ones which we rim selves have raised. Here was a successful youth, with good looks and good wits and position and fortune; and here was I, certainly no wonder, insignifi cant, and plain, and poor, and of common place intelligence, and as well satisfied with my own possessions, such as they were, as he, Halbert, could be with the treasures a prodigal fortune had showered upon him. Hero was I, judging him, and taking his measure as accurately as he could take mine, were it worth his while to do so.— Here was I, walking home under the stars, while ho was flirting and whispering with Lady Fanny, and both our nights sped on. Constellations sinking slowly, the day ap proaching through the awful realms of space, hours waning, life going by for us both alike: both of us men waiting together amidst these awful surroundings. You and I met often after this first meet ing—in churches where tapers were lighting and heavy censers swinging—on the Pincio, in the narrow, deep-colored streets: it was not always chance only which brought me so constantly into your presence. You your self were the chance, at least, and I the blind follower of fortune. All round about Rune there arc ancient gardens fying basking in the sun. Gardens and villas built long since by dead cardi nals and popes; terraces, with glinting shadows, with honeysuckle clambering in desolate luxuriance; roses flowering and fad• ing and falling in showers on the pathways: and terraces and marble steps yellow with age. Lonely fountains plash in their basins, statues of fawns and slender nymphs stand out against the solemn horizon of blue hills and crimson-streaked sky; of cypress trees and cedars, with the sunset showing through their stems. At home, I•lead a very busy, anxious life: the beauty and peace of these Italian villas fill me with inexpressible sat isfaction and gratitude toward those moul dering pontiff+. whose magnificent liberality has scoured such placid re+ting-places fur generations of weary men. Taking a long walk out of Rome one day, I came to the gates of one of these gardens. I remember seeing a carriage waiting in the shade of some cedar tree•; hard by, horses with drooping heads, and servants smoking as they waited. This was no uncommon sight; the English are forever on their rounds; but somehow on this occasion, I 'bought I recognized one of the men, and instead of passing by, as had been my intention. I turnod in at the half-open gate, which rho angels with the flaming swords had left un guarded and unlocked for once, and, after a few minutes' walk, I came upon the Eve I looked for. You were sitting on some time-worn steps; you wore a green silk dress, and your brown hair with the red tints in•it, was all ablaze with the light. You looked very unhappy, I thought: got up with an effort, and smiled a pitiful smile. "Are you come here for a little quiet?" I asked. "I am not going to disturb you." "I came here for for pleasure, not quiet," you said, "with papa and some friends. I was tired so they walked on and left me." "That is the way with one's friends," said I. "Who are the culprits, Miss Oliver?" "I am the only culprit," you said grimly. "Lady Fanny and Mr. Halbert came with us to-day. Look, there they aro at the end of the alley." And as you spoke, you raised one hand and pointed. and I made up my mind. It was'a very long alley. The figures in the distance were advancing very slowly. When they reach that little temple, thought I, I will tell her what I think. This was by no means so sudden a deter mination as it may appear to you, reading over these pages. It seems a singular rea son to give; but I really think it was your hopeless fancy fur That rosy youth which touched me and interested me so. I know I used to carry home sad words, spoken not to me, and glances that thrilled me with love, pity, and sympathy. What I said was, as you know, very simple and to the purpose. I knew quite well your fancy was elsewhere; mine was With you, perhaps as hopelessly placed. I didn't exactly see what good this confession was to do either of us, only, there I was, ready to spend my life at your ser vice. When I had spoken there was a silent moment, and then you glowed up,—your eyes melted, your mouth quivered. "Oh, what can I say? Oh, I am so lonely. Oh, I have not one friend in the world; and now, suddenly, a helping hand is field out, and I can't—l can't push it away. Oh, don't de spi-e. Oh, forgive me." Despise! scorn! * * Poor child! I only liked you the more fur your plaintive appeal; though I wondered at it. 'Take your time," I said; "I can wait, and I shall not fly away. Call me when you want rue, send me away when I weary you. Here is your father; shall I speak to him? But no. Remember there is no sin gle link between us, except what you your self hold in your own hands." Here lour father and Halbert and Lady Fanny came up. "Well, Esther, are you rested," says the colonel cheerfully. "Why, how do you do (to nee)? What have you been talking about so busily?" You did not answer, but fixed your eyes on your father's face. I said something; I forget what. Halbert, looking interested, turned from one to the other. Lady Fanny, who held a frigrant heap of roses, shook a few petals to the ground, where they lay glowing after we had all walked away. If you remember, I did not go near you for a day or two after this. But I wrote you a etter, in which I repeated that you were entirely free to use me as you liked: marry me—make a friend of me 7 --I was in your hands. One day, at last, I called; and ' shall never forget the sweet,ess and friend ly gratefulness with which you received me. A solitary man, dying of lonely thirst, you meet me smiling with a cup of sparkling water: a weary watcher through the night —suddenly I see the dawn streaking the bright horizon. Those were very pleasant times. I remember now, one afternoon in early Spring, open windows, sounds coming in from the city, the drone of the pfifferari buzzing drowsily in the sultry streets. You sat at your window in some light-colored dress, laughing now and then, and talking your tender little talk. .The colonel, from behind The Times, joined in now and again; the pleasant half-hours slid by. We were still basking there, when Halbert was an nounced, and came in, looking very tall and handsome. The bagpipes droned on, the flies sailed in and out on the sunshine: you still sat tranquilly at the open casement; but somehow the golden atmosphere of the hour was gone. Your smiles were gone; your words were silenced; and that happy little hour was over forever. When I got up to come away Halbert rose too; he came down stairs with me, and suddenly looking me full in the face said, "When is it to be?" "You know much more about it than I do," I answered. "You don't mean to say that you are not very much smitten with Miss Esther?" said h e. "Certainly I am," said; "I should be ready enough to marry her, if that is what you mean. I dare say I shan't get her.— She is to me the most sympathetic woman I have ever known. You aro too young, Mr. Halbert, to understand and feel her worth. D.net be offended," I added, seeing him flush up. "You young fellows can't be ex pected to see with the same eyes as we old ones. You will think as Ido in another ten years." '•llnw do you mean?" lie asked. "Isn't it the 'way with all of us," said I; "we begin hydiking universally; as we go on we pick and choose, and weary of things which had only the charm of novelty to recommend them; only as our life narrows wo cling more and more to the good things which remain, and feel their value ten times more keenly? And surely a sweet, honest hearted young woman like Esther Oliver is a gond thing." "She is very nice," Halbert said. "She has such good manners. I have had more experience than you give me credit for, and I am very much of your way of thinking.— They say that old courtly colonel is dread fully harsh to her—wants to marry her, and get her off his hands. I assure you you have a very good chance." "I mistrust the 'old colonel," said I, dic tatorially; "as trust his daughter. Some how she and I chime in tune together;" and, as I spoke, I began to understand why you once said wofully, that you had not one friend in the world; and my thdughts wan dered away to the garden where I had found you waiting on the steps of the terrace. "What do you say to the 'Elisire d' Amore' Lady Fanny and I hate been per forming lately?" Halbert was saying mean while, very confidentially. "Sometimes I cannot help fancying that the colonel wants to take a part in the performance, and a cracked old tenor part, too. In that case I shall cry off, and give up my eng,gements." And then, nodding good-by, he left me. I met him again in the Babuino a day or two after. He came straight up to me, saying "Going to tho °livers, eh? Will you take a message for me, and tell the colonel I mean to look in there this evening. That old fox the colonel—you have heard tbut he is actually going to marry Lady Fanny. She told me so herself yesterday." "I think her choice is a prudent one," I answered, somewhat surprised. "I suppose Colonel Oliver is three times as rich as yourself? You must expect a woman of tbirty to be prudent. lam not fond of that virtue in very young people, but it is not unbecoming with years." Halbert flushed up. "I 'suppose from that you mean she was very near marrying me. I'm not sorry she has taken up with the colonel after all. You see, my mother was always writing, and my sisters at home; and they used to tell me * •• and I myself thought she--, you know what I mean. But, of course, they have been reassured on that point." "Do you mean to say?" I asked in a panic, "that you would marry any woman who happened to fall in love with you?" "I don't know what I might have done a year ago," said he, laughing; "but just now you see, I have had a warning, and besides, it is my turn to make the advances." I was immediately relieved at this, for I didn't know what I was not going to say. Here, as we turned a street corner, we came upon a black-robed monk, standing, railed and motionless, with a skull in one bony hand. This cheerful object changed the current of our talk, and we parted pres ently at a fountain. Women with black twists of hair were standing round about, waiting in grand, careless attitudes, while the limpid water flowed. When I reached your door, I found the carriage waiting, and you and your father under the archway. "Come with us," said he, and I gladly accepted. And se we drove out at one of the gates of the city, out into the Campagmt, over which melting waves of color were rolling. Here and there we passed ancient ruins crumbling in the sun; the road-ides streamed with color and fra grance from violets and anemones and sweet smelling flowers. After some time we came suddenly on some green hills, and leaving the carriage climbed up the sides. Then we found ourselves looking down into a green glowing valley, with an intense hea ven above all melting into light. You, with a little transient gasp of happiness, fell down kneeling in the grass. I shall always see the picture I had before me then—the light figure against the bright green, the black hat, and long falling feather; the eager face looking out at the world. May it be forever green and pleasant to you as it was then, 0 eager face! As we were parting in the twilight, I sud denly remembered to give Halbert's mes sage. It did not greatly affect your father; but how was it? Was it because I knew you so well that I instinctively guessed you were moved by it? When I shook hands with you and said good night, your hand trembled in mine. "Won't you look in, too?" said the Colo- But I shook my head. "Not to-night—no thank you." And so we parted. My lodgings were in the Gregorians; the windows looked out over gardens and cupo las; from one of them I could see the Pincio. From that one nest morning, as I sat drink ing my coffee, I suddenly saw you, walking slowly along by the parapet, with your dog running by your side. Yon went to ono of those outlying terraces which flank the road and leaning over the stone-work, looked out at the grand panorama lying at your feet— Rome, with her purple mantle of mist, regally spreading, her towers, her domes, and great St. Peter's rising over the house tops, her seven hills changing and deepening with noblest color, her golden crown of sun light streaming and melting with the mist. Somehow, I, too, saw all this presently when I reached the place where you were still standing. And now I have almost come to the end of my story, that is, of those few days of which you, Esther, were the story. You stood there waiting, and I hastened toward you, and fate (I fancied you were my Pak.) went on its course quite unmoved by my hopes or your roars. I thought that you looked almost handsome for once. You cer tainly seemed more happy. Your face flushed and faded, your eyes brightened and darkened. As you turned and saw me, a radiant quiver, a piteous smile came to greet me somewhat strangely. You seemed trying to speak, but the words died away on your lips—to keep silence, at least, but the faltering accents broke forth. "What is it, my dear?" said I at last, with a queer sinking of the heart, and I held out my hand. You caught it softly between both yours. "Oh!" you said, with sparkling eyes, "I am a mean, wretched girl—oh! don't think too ill of me. He, Mr. Halbert, came to-sec me last night, and—and, he says Oh! I don't deserve it. Oh! forgive me, for I am so happy;" and you burst into tears. "You have been so good to me," you whis pered on. "I hardly know how good. He says he only thought of me when you spoke of me to him, when—when he saw you did not dislike me. I am behaving shamefully —yea, shamefully, but it is. because I know you are too kind not to forgive—not to for give. What can I du? You know how it has always been. You don't know what it would be to marry one person, caring for another. All! you don't know what it would be to have it otherwise than as it is" (this $1,50 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE; $2,00 IF NOT IN ADVANCE clasping your bands). "But you don't ask it. "Alt! forgive me, and say you don't ask it." Then standing straight and look ing down with a certain sweet dignity, you went on—"!leaven has sent me a great and unexpected happiness, but there is, indeed, a bitter cup to drink as well. Though I throw you over, though I behave so selfishly, don't think I am utterly conscienceless, that do not suffer a cruel pang indeed; when 1 think how you must look at me, when I re member what return I am making for all your forbearance and generosity. When I think of myself, I urn ashamed and humili ated; when I think of him---" Hero you suddenly broke off; and turned away your face. Ali me! turned away your face forever from me. The morning mists faded away: tho mid-day sun streamed over hills and towers and valley. The bell of the Trinita hard by began to toll. I said, "Good-by, and Heaven keep your my dear. I would not have had you do oth erwise." Arid so I went back to my lodging Dickens, on Getting a Hasty Dinner at a Railroad Hotel The following is from the last of the "tin commercial Traveller" papers of Chas Dickens: "You are going off by railway, from nny terminus. You have twenty minutes for din ner before you go. You want your dinner, and, like Dr. Johnson, sir, you like to dine. You present to your mind a picture of the refreshment table at that terminus. The conventional, shabby, evening hearty sup per—accepted as the model fur all termini sad all refreshment stations, because it is the last repast known to this state of exist ence of which any human creature would partake but in the direst extremity—sicken° your contemplation, and your words are these: "I cannot dine on stale sponge cake that turns to sand in the mouth. I cannot dine on shining brown patties, composed of unknown animals within, and offering to my view the device of indigestible star fish in leaden pie-crust without. I cannot dine on a sandwich that has long been pining under an exhausted receiver. I cannot dine on barley sugar. I cannot dine on coffee." You repair to the nearest hotel, and arrive, I agitated, in the coffee-room. It is a most astonishing fact that your waiter is very cool to you. Account for it how you may, smooth it over how you will, you cannot deny he is cold to you. He is not glad to see you, lie does not want you, ho would much rather you hadn't come.— lie opposes to your flushed condition an im movable composure. As if this were not enough, another waiter, burn, it would scern, expressly to look at you in this passage of your life, stands at a little distance, with his napkin under his arm and his heeds folded, looking at you with all his might.-- You impress on your waiter that you have ten minutes for dinner, and be proposes that you shall begin with n bit of fish that will be ready in twenty. That proposal declined, he suggests—as a neat originality —"a weal or common cutlet." You close with either cutlet, any cutlet, anything.— He goes leisurely behind a door and calls down an unseen shaft. A ventriloquial dia logue ensues, tending finally to the effect that veal only is available on the spur of the moment. You anxiously call out, "Veal, then!" Your waiter, having settled that point, returns to array your table cloth with a table-napkin folded cocked-bat wise (slow ly, for something out of the window engages his eye,) a white wine glass, a green wine glass, a blue finger-glass, a tumbler, and a powerful battery of fourteen castors with nothing in them; or at all events—which is enough for your purposes—with nothing in them that will come out. All this ;info the other waiter looks at you—with an air of mental comparison and curiosity now, as if it had occurred to him that you aro like his brother. Half your time gone and nothing come but the jug of ale and the bread; you implore your waiter "see to that cutlet, waiter, pray do?" He can not go at once, for he is carrying in seventeen pounds of American cheese for you to finish with, and a small lauded es tate of celery and water-cress. The other waiter changes his leg, and takes a new view of you—doubtfully, now, as if he had rejected the resemblance to his brother, and begun to think you more like his aunt or his grandmother. Again you beseech your waiter with a pathetic indignation, to "see after that cutlet!" He steps out to see after it, and by and by when you are going away without it he comes with it. Even then lie will not take the sham sil ver cover off without a pause fur a flourish and a look at the musty cutlet, as if he were surprised to see it. Which can not possi bly be the case—he must have seen it so often before. A sort of fur has been pro duced- upon its surface by the cook's art, and in a sham silver vessel, staggering on two feet, instead of three, is a cutaneous kind of sauce, of brown pimples and pickled cu cumber. You order the bill; but your waiter can not bring your bill yet, because he is bringing, instead, three flinty-hearted pota toes and two grim heads of brocoli, like the occasional ornaments upon area railings, badly broiled. You kneW that you will never come to this pass, any more than to the cheese and celery, and you imperatively demand your bill; but it takes time to get —even when gone for—because your waiter has to communicate with a lady who lives behind a sash window, in a corouriand who [WHOLE NUMBER 1,641. appears to have to refer to several ledgers' before she can make it out—as if you had been staying there a year: You become distracted to get away, and the other waiter, once more changing his legs, looks at you—but suspiciously now, as if you begin to remind him of the party who took the great coats last winter. Your bill is at last brought and paid at the rate of six-pence a mouthful, your waiter re minds you "attendance is not charged for a single meal," and you have to scratch in all your pockets for a six-pence more. Ho has a worse opinion of you than ever when you have given it to hint, and lets you out into the street with an air of one saying to himself, as you can not doubt he is, "1 hope ve shall never see you again." A Shrewd Trick—A Bit of Practical En tomology. A writer in one or the London weekly journals tells this Story: A comical little lady, in green spectacles, told us the story, gravely; we will set it down as we heard it. Little Old Lady, loguitur: "The scene was a very popular place of amusement and recreation; there is no need to particulaize further. Yea have been there, and so have I. It was not a very grand day at the place of amusement; that is to say, no monster attraction had been got up to draw multitudes thither, but there were visitors in plenty, nevertheless, and there was also music. Amongst those visi tors I have to bespeak your attention on be half of' a friend of mine; as she happened to wear on this occasion a blue dress, and as I don't mean to mention names, I shall call her the Lady in Blue. She was walking companionless in the place of public resort, and had left the more frequented spots for one comparatively lonely, where the hum of the human hico was still audible, a sort of accompaniment to the footsteps of the few who were sauntering up and down, probably, like herself, waiting for freinds., "Looking at these loungers, the Lady in Blue experienced a momentary feeling of wonder at the sight of a policeman in that quiet spot, where people had nothing to do but to enjoy themselves peaceably. It might have formed a fine subject for a 'fragment' on the depravity of humatt na ture, but the Lady in Blue was no poet, and could not improve the occason. She walked on, therefore, and listened to the music, and had just begun to wonder impatiently why her friends were so late at the place of meet ing, when, by one of those chances which get such fine names from mental transferists and thought impressionists, she raised her bead suddenly, caught the glance of a pecu liarly gentleman-like stranger fixed in a searching manner upon her. It was averted at once, of course; nevertheless there was a little additional hardenr in the carriage of the Lady in Blue as she continued her walk. Still on her ear came faintly the delightful platitudes of the eternal, never to be worn our, Trovatore; but suddenly there was a step close beside her, a touch, a gentle and most polite. • "'Excuse me, madam. "And the lady stopped in amazement. It , was the gentlemanly stranger. • "'I beg ten thousand pardons, but there' is a—in fact a disagreeable insect on your shawl. Might Ibe allowed to remove it? "The Lady in Blue turned with a face of horror. It was a disagreeable insect, there is no denyins• ' that. It was—to tell you the truth," said the little Old Lady, nodding over her spectacles. "I am not. an.Amert con, but an old installed English woman, and I always like to call things by their right names. If there is any fine long Lat in word for the insect, I don't know it, and I shouldn't use it if I did. It was what is vul2arly called a bug. "When the Lady in Blue had recovered herself a little, her first impulse was to look for the gentlemanly stranger, but ho was gone. And very proper of him, too, she thought; a great proof of delicacy and good breeding. But the thing—the insect! To be actually on her shawl! now did it get there? Where had that shawl been, and how was such a calamity possible? Did any one see the transaction? These wore ques tions of terrible import, and unanswerable. Iles walk lost its languid ease; Trovatoro bad no-longer any charms for her. A sen sation of horrible discomfort lingered about that shawl, and the hum of the human hive. which before had been soothing, seemed like a chorus of distant voices lifted up on the subject of that disagreeable insect.— When would her friends join her? At any rate, it must be long past the time appointed. Thinking thus, she began fumbling nervous ly at her watch chain; at least in the direc tion of the chain. For you see the chain itself was gone; and the watch was gone; and when she searched her pocket, she found that her purse was gone too. And by this time her face of dismay and her ex clamations had attracted the policeman. whose appearance in such a place had seemed to her as unnecessary a short time before. • "Other curious individuals also began to gather round her; in fact the poor Lady- in. Blue thought all the world was coming to chatter about her, and add to her confusion, whi eh was quite a superfluous attention' on tho world's part; and to the question. 'When did you miss the articles?' she could only put her hand to her head in a distracted manner, and utter disjointed signals of dis tress. "'Miss them! I don't know—l—' "'When did you-have them last?' • "'I really cannot tell. I—yes, now know. I am quite sure, I looked nt my watch just before that strange gentleman spoke to me übout—' "'What gentleman?' "„1„ stranger to me, quite. He—why, , there he is again; that one with the white hat. Alt, he is gone! I don't see him now' "Bat before this speech was ended the pt?.: Beeman was gone too; and if any ono se - anxious as to the fate of the missing articles,' I beg to reassure them. "The gentlemanly stranger encounters in unexpected friend at the door of the popular resort, who kindly relieved him of a burden I which must have been heavy. Besides, a jewelry of' the Lady in Blue, the stranger was found to have about his person several ' watches and chains, and a goodly•arrartif' purses. Also, he had in his wai.teont packet,, —a little box of brigs."