OZORCE Tug Forazac—Mr- Thackeray, in
his "Four Georges," concluded in the last
number of the Cornhill Magazine, draws the
;allowing satirical pen-portrait of George
•"To snake a portrait of him at first seemed
a matter of small dllfieulty. There is his
coat, his star, his wig, his countenance sim
pering tinder it—vf i a slate and a piece of
chalk, I could, at this very desk, perform a
recognizable likeness of him. And yet, af
ter reading of him in scores of volumes,
hunting him through old magazines and
newspapeis, having him here at a ball, there
at a public dinner, there at races and sn
forth, you find you have nothing•—nothing
but a coat and a wig and a mask smiling
below it—nothing-but a great simulacrum.
Ills sire, and grandsires were men. One
knows what they were alike—what they
would do in given circumstances—that on
occasion they fought and demeaned them
selves like tough, good soldiers. They had
friends whom they liked according to their
natures; enemies whom they hated fiercely;
passions and actions and individualities of
their own.
"The sailor king wl:o came after George
was a man; the Duke of York was a man,
big, burly, loud, jolly, cursing, courageous.
But this George, what was lie? I look
through all his life, and recognize but a bow
and grin. I try and take him to pieces, and
find silk stockings, padding, stays, a coat
with frogs and a fur collar, a star and blue
ribbon, a pocket-handkerchief prodigiously
scented, one of Truttfitt's best nutty brown
wigs reeking with oil, a set of teeth, and a
huge black stock, underwaistcoats, more
underwaistcoats; and then nothing. I know
of no sentiment that ho ever distinctly ut
tered. Documents are published under his
name, but people wrote them—private let
ters but people spelt them. Ile put a great
George P. or George It. at the bottom of the
page and fancied he had written the paper;
some bookseller's clerk, some poor author,
some man did the work; saw to the spelling;
cleaned up the slovenly sentences, and gave
the las maudlin slipslop a sort of consis
tency.
"He must have had nn individuality: the
dancing master whom he emulated, nay,
surpassed—the wig-maker who curled his
toupee for him—the tailor who cut his coats
had that. But, about George, one can get
at nothing actual. That outside, I am cer
tain, is pad and tailor's work; there may be
something behind, but what? We cannot
get at the character; no doubt never shall.
Will men of the future have nothing better
to do than to unswathe and interpret that
royal old mummy? I own I once used to
think it would be good sport to pursue
him, fasten on him, and pull him down.—
But now lam ashamed to mount and lay
good dogs on, to summon a full field, and
then to hunt the poor game."
And here is an anecdote, in which "the
first, gentleman in Europe," as it was the
fashion to call the last of the Georges, does
not figure very creditably:
"And now I have one more story of the
bacchanalian sort, in which Clarence and
York, and the very highest personage of the
realm, the great Prince Regent, all play
parts. The feast took place at the Pavilion,
at Brighton, and was described to me by a
gentleman who was present at the scene.—
In Gilray's caricatures and amongst Fox's
jolly associates there figures a groat noble
man, the Duko of Norfolk, called Jockey of
Norfolk in his time, and celebrated fur his
table exploits. Ile had quarrelled with the
Prince, like the rest of the Whigs; but a
sort of reconciliation bad taken place, and
now, being a very old man, the Prince in
vited him to sleep and dine at the Pavilion,
rind tho old Duke drove over from his Cas
tle of Arundel, with his famous equipage of
gray horses, still remembered in Sussex.
- "The Prince of Wales had concocted with
his royal brothers a notable scheme for
snaking the old man drunk. Every person
at table was enjoined to drink wine with the
old duke—a challenge which the old toper
did not refuse. Ile soon began to see that
there was n conspiracy against him; lie
drank glass fur glass; be overthrew many
of the bravo. At last the First Gentleman
of Europe proposed bumpers of brandy.=
One of the royal brothers filled a great glass
for the duke. Ile stood up and tossed off
the drink. 'Now,' says he, 'I will have my
carriage and gi) home.' The Prince urged
upon him his previous promise to sleep un
der the roof whore he had been so gener
ously entertained. 'No,' he said, 'he had
had enough of such hospitality.' A trap
had been sot for him; he would leave the
place at once, and never enter its doors
more.
"The carriage was called and came; but,
in the half hours' interval, the liquor had
proved too potent for the old man; his host's
generous purpose was answered, and the
duke's old gray bead lay stupefied on the
table. Nevertheless, when his post-chaise
was announced, he staggered to it as well
as he could, and stumbling in, bade the
postillions drive to Arundel. They drove
him for half an hour round and round the
Pavilion lawn; the poor old man fancied he
was going home. When he awoke that
morning he was in bed at the prince's hide
ous house at Brighton. You may see the
place now for sixpence; they hove fiddlers
there every day; and sometimes buffoons
and -mountebanks hire the Hiding house
and do their tricks and tumbling there.—
The trees are still there, and the gravel
walks around which the poor old sinner was
trotted. I can fancy the flushed faces of
the royal princes as they support themselves
at the portico pillars, and look on at old
Norfolk's disgrace; but I can't fancy how
the man who perpetrated it continued to be
called a gentleman."
1109.. A lady being asked the place of her
nativity. replied: am so unfortunate as
to have no native Tiace; coy father Was a
zalakstar."
ssir There is,a lawyer so ex.cessiToly hon•
est that be Puts all has flower pots out over
night, so determined is he that everything
shall have its dam
. .
afirA young ho;ly shouldn't be unhappy
beaanse she isn't quite as tall as she would
like to be. It is a very easy thing to get
o'spEoed."
itgumixia gpy.
COLUMBIA. F' $,...
SiI.TURDAT, NOV. 3, 1860
SerSEE NEW ADVERTISEMENTS OF A. M.
RAMBO'S, ODD FELLOWS' lISLL, IN TO-D&Y'S
PAPER.
117 See Fe,.drich 4 , Bros' advertisement in
to-day's paper. Theirs is the largest Wholesale
and Retail Tobacco, Segar and Snuff Manufac
tory in the State.
pr ) .- Fondersmith advertises new goods in
to-day's paper. Call and see hint.
THAN ESCIVING.—We give in anothereol
umn the Thanksgiving Proclamation of
Governor Packer, appointing Thursday,
Nov. 2Cith for that festival.
Itta..We are requested to give notice that
the law against trespass will be strictly en
forced against gunners shooting rabbits
among the lumber piles near the Spy Office.
"Lass of life or limb may be the result of
neglect of this caution."
CHANGE OF F/Ith.—As will be seen by
our advertising columns the firm of J. S.
Dellett SI . Co., has been dissolved, the senior
partner retiring. The business will be con
ducted as heretofore. under the new firm of
Dr. Henry John :c Cu., Mr. Dellett continu
ing his superintendence of the store. Sue.
cess to the Dr. Co.
A GOOD WRITING FLUlD.—Mossrs. Saylor
& McDonald have furnished us with a bottle
of Laughlins & Bushfield's Writing Fluid,
which, on trial, compares favorably in every
particular with thecelebrated Arnold Fluid.
It flows freely frem the pen and turns to a
deep black after use. It can be had in va
rious sized bottles at the News Depot, at
moderate cost. Give it a trial.
Tot rlivna.—Lumuca.—During the early
part of the week the river was at good raft
ing stage, and about twenty crafts from the
North and West Branches arrived at our
wharves. The lumber with the exception of
five rafts from Pine Creek is from the North
Branch. We only noticed four rafts of new
lumber, from the Chemung, the balance
being old rafts which had been left by the
Spring and Summer freshets. Two rafts and
an ark were run through, and some seven
more are waiting a rise of six or eight
inches to start for Purt Depnait, where they
have been sold. All the lumber on the wa
ter hero has been sold, we understand ex
cept two rafts. If the present rains contin
ue and extend to the headwaters we may
look for another rise, and probably a supply
of new lumber. The water is now too low
for rafting.
RAILROAD Metrtst;.— A meeting of the
Directors of the Reading and Columbia
Railroad was held last week in Lancaster.
The immediate location of the road was
ordered, and is now probably in progress.
A hearty Co-operation on the part of the
people on the proposed line is promised, and
there is no doubt that with the road once
permanently located our contingent of $2OO,
000 will readily be raised.
Owing to the absorbing interest of politics
during the past month, we have not urged
any effort in behalf of the road on the part
of our citizens. The presidential question
settled, however, the pear le of Columbia
must move energetically in the matter. On
our action during the next month will mater
ially depend the future of this enterprise
and of our town. We will let the matter
rest however, untill the fever of politics has
abated, but then we expect Columbia to do
her duty.
STE 'Ol BoAv.—The Steam Canal boat, in•
tended for navigating on our Canals, and
which we spoke of recently as being en the
stocks at Peach Bottom, has been completed
as far as the woodwork is concerned, and is
now in Baltimore for the necessary machi
nery. We presume the boat will arrive at
this port at some day not far distant—the
pioneer, we trust, of a whole fleet like her,
to follow in due course of time. Shall we
have a jollification on her aarival, to prop
erly inaugerate this new era in our Canal
navigation? If too late in the season fur
the proposed trip through the Canals, let us
have a "atonal" over the river. What says
our• friend McConkey?—&ur.
Towssair AND Lni•.tt. Laws or PENNISYL
VANIA.—CompiIed from the Acts of
Assembly. By Wit.t.mt T. 11.tusus.
member of tho West Chester Bar. Ed
ward F. Ja.ncx, publisher, West Chester,
Pa.
We have received from the publisher a
copy of the above valuable compilation, a
work which will be found useful not only to
every man who fills or may fill any borough
or township office, but to the public in gen•
eral. It contains besides the laws govern
ing Justices of the Peace, School Directors,
Constables, Supervisors, Assessors, eze., val
uable forms for the transaction of daily bus
iness and a copy of the work will ho found
an important aid to every business man.—
The following certificate selected from some
twenty given by leading professional men of
Chester County will show the estimation in
which the book is held at the home of the
author.
WEST Co Esi ER, PA, Oct. I 5 1800
MR. E. F. J.tMES.—DCar
examined the work recently compiled by
Wm. T. HAM ER, Esq., and published by you,
entitled "Township and Local Laws," I can
cheerfully recommend it. In my opinion,
each a book has been long needed through
the country, and our citizens should thank
you fur the opportunity you have afforded
them to obtain so much valnable informa
-1 Lion at 50 small a cost.—Yours truly,
JNo.
For sale by Saylor & McDonald. Price
51.1.25 per copy, in sheep.
Itonarar.—The jewelry store of Mr.
Charles Zeitler, formerly a resident of this
place, but now residing in Ilavre de Grace,
Md., was entered on Sunday morning the
21st ult.. and about $3OO, worth of jewelry
and silver ware carried off.
A New - ONE CENT ENVELOPE.—A letter
from Washington states that the Postmaster
General has adopted and ordered sone cent
self-sealing envelope, which will soon be
supplied to post-offices throughout the
.ountry.
' Tun ELECTION.—On nest Tuesday the
people will peaceably (more or less) settle
at the ballot box the fortunes of the'pbliti•
clans, and the weal or 'woe of the nation,
for the coming four years. In' our own
State the battle has been fought, and the
excitement has 'subsided. The hopes which
sustained the triple alliance in the struggle
over the State spoils were dashed by the
untoward, not to say disastrous, result of
that conflict, and the opponents of Lincoln
will come to the scratch on next Tuesday
with the depressing consciousness that they
only set up their men to tee them sent to
grans by the great "splitter and mauler."—
The Republicans, on the other hand, fought
their fight under Curtin, and after their
crow have settled into quiet confidence in
the result not to be shaken from equanimity
nor roused to enthusiasm. Notwithstand
ing this apathy in the decisive State, the
election will not be without its excitement.
The anti-Republicans have fused in New
York, and claim sufficient combined strength
to divert the thirty-five electoral votes of
that State from Lincoln, thus throwing the
election into the House. The Republicans
scout this assumption en the part of the
Union - Secesssion - Squatter - Sovereignty
forces, and claim New York by forty thou
sand majority. We are inclined to believe
that Lincoln has the State safe; but there
is sufficient doubt to snake the result a mat
ter of speculation and deep interest. Grant
ing New York—and the election--to Lin
coln there still remains the result in the
doubtful Southern States. News from Ken
tucky, Tennessee, Virginia, Maryland, Lou•
isiaua and some others, will be anxiously
looked for. The secessionists now claim
that they will carry the South solid fur
Breckiuridge, and the Union men of the
more consetvative Slave States are making
strenuous efforts to prevent this result.—
Douglas is now stumping the South, and if
the plausible 'Little Giant' can convince the
people that he is a better pro-slavery man
than Breckinridgo ho will essentially aid
Bell in beating the Kentuckian.
We are glad the struggle is so nearly nt
an end. We are tired of the incessant
crimination and recrimination, the lying and
defamation and blackguardism which seems
to have become indissolubly incorporated
into our system of partizan politics. And
we are fairly sick to death—nauseated—
with the howl of secession and dissolution
which goes up from reckless, unprincipled
Southern throats, and is taken up and lov
ingly re•echood by the northern curs of low
degree who only dare bark as their cotton
gruwing masters give the pitch. Mr. Lin
coln, if elected, will be constitutionally
elected, constitutionally inaugurated, and,
probably, fur all parties join in conceding
to the gentleman good strong sense, will
govern constitutionally. The fire eaters
will be put on the congenial diet of their
own flaming threats and anathemas, and by
the time they shall have consumed the im
mense stock of provend accumulated dur
ing the present campaign, the Union will
again be ready for dissolution and another
President. There is the excuse for South
ern bluff and brag that the "chivalry" are''
trained to it from infancy; but what apology
for the Northern bogus article—the base
Brummagem alloy? Pah! The Northern
terrorist should have collar and chain (a
slight ono would hold him) and be shipped
South to do congenial service beside his cot
ton picking fellow chattels,
NEWS FROM TIIE HAYS' ARCTIC EIpEDI
TION.—Tho Boston Traveler says that the
U. S. Vice Consul nt Copenhagen, Denmark,
furnishes the gratifying intelligence that an
"official" package from Dr. Hays, comman
der of the Arctic expedition, has been re
ceived by one of the Royal Greenland Com
pany's vessels from Upernavik. This as
sures the friends of the expedition of the
prompt arrival of Dr. flays at the port near
est the field of his labor. The next Euro.
poen mail may bring letters from the Arctic
voyagers.
NEW DEPOT AT Pm Ltoct.rut.i.—The Penn
sylvania Railroad Company contemplate the
erection of a new passenger depot at the
terminus of their road in West Philadelphia.
It will be built on the vacant lot on the
north side of the track near the Schuylkill,
:Ind will be five hundred feet long, and n..)
doulat one of the handsomest and most com
modious depots in the country. When it is
completed the passengers will be carried
into the city on the passenger city railway,
which will be more pleasant and expedi
t:ous than under the present arrangement
of running the heavy cars down to Eleventh
and Market.
SEPULCHRAL CUSTOMS OF TILE AllOOll.-
The natives here have a custom which I
found prevailing in other parts of Asia
among the Kalmucks, some tribes of the
Kalkas, and the Toungouz, of providing
their deceased brother with all the tools and
implements necessary to enable him to carry
on his trade or occupation in the land of
ghosts. If this duty be neglected they be
lieve that his spirit wanders forever through
dark and dismal forests, without fining a
place of rest. The custom varies among
different people, but all tend to the same
end. Fur instance, the Kirghis chief has
his favorite horses buried with him, that he
may not ho compelled to walk in his ghostly
state—a thing be abhors when living. The
Ka!knelt and Kalkas hare their weapons,
clothes, and implements placed in their
1 graves, that they may appear suitably op
\parelled before their friends, and able to en
gage in their ordinary pursuits. But the
Toungouz races have similar articles placed
i in their graves, to be ready for service the
moment they awake from what they con
sider to be their temporary repose.—Alkin
son's Teards.
NAIL' RA L NV LA KISESS.-A "bumptious"
traveller, overtaking au old Presbyterian
minister, whose nag was much fatigued,
quizzed the old gentleman upon his "turn
out." A nice horse, yours, doctor! very—
valuable beast that—but what makes him
wag his tail so, docter?" "Why, as -you
have asked me, I will tell you. It is for the
same reason that your tongue wags so—a
sort of.natttral weakness." .
Thanksgiving Day.—Proclamation.
FELLOW Critzmrs:—Tberevolutions of the
year have again brought-4s to our annual
festival of Thanksgiving to Almighty God.
In no proceding year have we had more
abundant cause for gratitvide and praise.—
The revolving seasons have brought with
them health and plenty. The summer
fruits and the autumn hari4sts have been
gathered and garnered in unwonted exuber
ance. A healthful activity has pervaded all
the departments of life; and provident in
dustry has met with a generous reward.—
The increase of material wealth has been
liberally employed in sustaining our Educa
tional and Religious Institutions, and both
are making the most gratifying progress in
enlightning and purifying the public mind.
While, in Europe, central and absolute gov
ernments, by their pressure on personal
rights and liberty, are producing excite
ments, which threaten to upheave the very
foundations of society, and have led, in
some instances, to bloody and cruel wars,
we, in the enjoyment of constitutional lib
erty, and under the protection of just and
equal laws, are peacefully pursuing the
avocations of life, and etmaging in whatever
promises to advance our social and individ
ual improvement and happiness. "The
lines are," indeed, "fallen to us in plea
sant places, and we have a goodly heritage."
In all this we see the orderings of a kind
and merciful Providence, which call not only
for our recognition, but for our Thanksgiv
ing and Praise.
Under this conviction, I, WILLIAM P.
PACICER, Governor of the Commonwealth
of Pennsylvania, do hereby appoint THURS
DAY Tile TWENTY-NINTU DAY OF NOVEMBER
MEET, to be observed as a day of public
Thanksgiving and Prayer, and recommend
to all our people, that setting aside, on that
day, all worldly pursuits, they assemble in
their respective places of worship, and unite
in offering Thanks to God for his manifold
goodness, and imploring his forgiveness,
and the continuance of his mercies.
Given under my hand and the Great Seal
of the State, at Harrisburg, this Twenty
fourth day of October, in the year of our
Lord, One Thousand Eight Hundred and
Sixty, and of the Commonwealth the
Eigh ty•iifth.
V 731. F. PACKER
By the Governor.
Wm. M. Ifinsvee, Sec' y of the CO7ll
ST. SWITnIN DEFIED.—There is now be
the Academy of Sciences at Paris, "n
wonderful invention of Mons. Helvetius
Otto, of Leipsic, by which ho promises to
insure fine weather." He erects a platform
at a considerable height in the air, on which
he places a "propeller," or huge bellows,
worked by steam. With those bellows,
which are "very powerful," lie blows away
the clouds as they gather; and, as rain
comes from the clouds, it must necessary
follow that where clouds are not allowed to
gather there can be no rain. He maintains
that if a certain number of his "Rain Prop
ellers," or "Pluvifuges," as he has named
them, are placed at intervals over the city,
he can provide for the inhabitants a contin
uance of fine weather, and a certain protec
tion from sudden showers and muddy streets,
so long the terror of fair pedestrians. The '
poor inhabitants of adjoining towns would
be to be pitied. What would become of
them? As fur the Pluvifuge proprietors,
their motto ought to be "Aprev mous le del
uge." Victims, however, as we iu England
have of late been to wet weather, sill we
cannot blame the Frenchman's "Pluvifuges,"
inasmuch as France itself has been in nearly
the same predicament—at least the northern
parts cf Purer.
Fried Potatoes.
One of the wittiest and most genial writers
on the New York Daily Press, just now, is
"C. [I. W.", who, in one of his watering
place letters to the Times, describes the
ocstney of fried potato eating at Saratoga
lake:
Before coming to Saratoga, I encountered
a young lady who had just completed the
tour of Niagara Palls and the White Moun
tains. To the question of what she had seen
and found worth mentioning during her
travels, she replied that the fried potatoes
at Saratoga lake were delightful, In the
course of nu hour's conversation you could
pump nothing from her but fried potatoes.
The same enthusiasm prevails with every
one you meet. The livery-keeper urges you
to have a horse and ride or drive to the lake,
and his main argument is "fried potatoes."
The consequence is that you look forward
with pleasant longings to the time when you
shall taste those fried potatoes; you reserve
themes the closing 101111 e boache of your visit,
and yet you are afraid to touch them for
fear of disappointment. You will permit
me to tell you how the luxury should he en
joyed. There is a proper way of doing all
things, even the eating of potatoes.
You can go to the Lake in an omnibus,
democratically; you can go in a hack, aris
tocratically; or you can go in a buggy, re
spectably. If you are the favored corres
pondent of a Now York daily, which pays
your expenses and never examines the items
of the account, it is best to go respectably.
Either to enhance the value of the ride or to
increase the reputation of his horses, the
livery keeper will tell you the lake is distant
between fire and six miles. Put no faith in
the statement, but drive off at a dog-trot,
and you'll be on its banks in less than half
an hour. It is not good policy to take a
lady with you; ladies never look well while
eating, and there is nothing poetical about
a potato. There is sometimes a piquant ex
pression about a young lady's face when she
is nibbling hot corn off the ear, like a coon,
but, as a general thing, that employment is
not attractive to a looker-on. fled Petrarch
once seen his Laura with a corn-cob be
tween her teeth, I apprehend that the length
of his love melodies would ha.ve'been mate
rially lessened.
When you drive up to the door of the
Lake House, it is not necessary to say a
word; the waiter sees fried potatoes in your
eyes, and passes the word at once. But, if
you wish a fresh trout, you must make that
wish manifest. Very moon an aroma comes
floating on the air, and then it is well to go
down on the banks of the lake s and threw
stones in the water till the boy calls you to
the hove, because the very smell of the siz
zling 'vegetables is intoxicating. Seat• yotrr
self at the table, restrain all enthusiasm on
your •part, or on that of your companion,
and eat moderately. Beware of indiscreet
haste in placing the tempting morsels in
your mouth, for they are hot. Threaten
your companion with tbe infliction of your
last poem if he ventures to speak, and then
proceed decorously to eat. Obstinately re
fuse to believe that you have a peach in
your mouth instead of a potato. Swallow
with deliberation, and do not eat to satiety.
When there are no potatoes left, rise slowly
from the table, and tell the proprietor that
you wish a glass of water with a fly in it—
the fly is for the benefit of the trout, you un
derstand. If the trout does not rise at the
fly, it is no matter; you have done your duty
in that respect, and the fish is derelict—no
blame to you. Now pay your bill, if you
have money enough and drive off; if you
haven't money enough, the same rule is im
perative—in either event drive off—but in
the latter it is well to urge the horse a little.
Start for New York the next morning, and
if at any subsequent period of your life any
one intimates to you that the gods on high
Ol'mpus live on nectar and ambrosia, tell
them they are fatally mistaken—that their
exclusive diet is fried potatoes, a trout, and
a glass of something with a fly in it.
CALLING A MrNtsvzir.—Squire Skinner,
said Deacon Jones, you must be aware that
a meeting has been warned to decide on set
tling our candidate for the ministry; and I
called to inquire if he received your appro
bation.
I shall not vote fur him, said Squire
Skinner
Do you not think him sound in doctrine?
asked the Deacon.
Entit ely orthodox, said the Squire; sound
to the core.
Is he not a good speaker? asked the
Deacon
Never beard better, said the Squire.
Is ho not an agreeable man? implied
Deacon Jones
Perfectly so in most respects, replied the
Squire
Surely have heard nothing against his
moral character? said the Deacon.
Not a lisp, replied the Squire.
Squire Skinner, said Deacon Jonps, we
ought to be frank in a matter of so much
importance; if you have any real objections
to the settlement of Mr. Stebbins, I hope
you will tell me what they are.
Squire Skinner took his long nine out of
his mouth, held it at some distance from him
in his left hand, looked straight down the
garden walk with a great deal of earnest
ness," and replied: "Deacon Jones, I will
say to yon once for all that I will never vote
for a. man to be settled over this ancient
parish 2oTto toes in when he walks."
Deacon Jones rose to go. He saw the
Squire's back was up, and it was folly to
argue with him. But the Deacon was a
true christian, and did not wish. to go with
out leaving a ivre agreeable impression on
the Squire's mind, so he said in the mildest
manner possible, "Squire Skinner, I hope
you will attend the meeting to-morrow night
and hear what our people have to say on '
the subject. Possibly you may change your
views. Your opinions are entitled to much
consideration. But lam bound in all fair
ness to say Mr. Stebbins is so popular with
the people that I think there will be a very
large majority in his favor."
Squire Skinner rose in great excitement;
his face was flushed, his left hand held his
long nine, and his right arm was raised like
a pump handle; he looked as much like a
spread eagle as was possible for a man like
him, when he exclaimed with the eloquence
of a Tom Stevenson, "Deacon Samuel Jones,
let me tell you, sir, that if you are so de
mented as to elect a pastor of this ancient
parish who toes in when he walks, I —I—I
for one, sir, will abandon the whole chris
tian religion."
TUE USE OF A BATLI.--Julius, a Western
darkey, having landed nt Chicago, saw an
advertisement notifying those who wished
to be clean that they might get a good bath
fur a quarter, thought it would be a good
idea to nsk the use of them of another
darkey, who said—" Baths were used by
white folks to wash in." Accordingly Julius
started with a bundle under his arm, and
being shown into a bath-room was left to
his ablutions.
Considerable timeelapsed, and Julius did
not come forth; and, after waiting for about
an hour the keeper of the baths went to the
door and screamed out:
"Say, darkey, are you coming out?"
"Yes, as soon as I get troo my washin'.'
"How long will that be?"
"P'raps an hour to an hour an' a half,'
coolly answered Julius.
With that the man burst into the room,
and there, all around the room, was the
darkey's freshly washed clothing, hanging
up to dry; but not noticing it just then, re
marked:
"See here, you just clear out at once
you've been in over two hours!"
"Look a here," said Julius in an enraged
manner pointing to his drying clothes,
which rather took the bathing man down.—
"I'd like to see you wash and hang out two
dozen pieces in less time than I've been at
it!"
In another minute Julius was landed in
the street, surrounded by his washing.
Oca ANcesynne.—Mr. Darwin, whose
treatise on the development of species has
been the book of the season, did not appear
at the British Association. His place was,
however, well filled by Mr. Huxley, who had
to do battle for the new doctrine. "If I may
bo allowed to inquire," said the Bishop of
Oxford, "would you rather have had an apo
for your grandfather or grandmother?" "I
would rather have had apes on both sides
for. my ancestors," replied the naturalist,
unabashed, "than human beings so warped
by prejudice that they were afraid to behold
the truth." .
Va-The -man who plants a tree little
knows what he is conferring on posterity—
especially if it is a birch tree.
WALxxxa a RArr . .—There was a fellow
once stepped oat of the door of a tavern on
the Mississippi, merininkto.walk a mile up
the shore to the next tavern. Just at the
landing there lay a big raft, one of the reg
ular old-fashioned whalers--a raft a mile
long.
Well, the fellow heard the landlord say
the raft was a. mile long, and he said to him- -
self, "I will go forth and see this great won
der, and lot my eyes behold the timbers
Which the hand of man hath hewn." So be
got on at the lower end, and began to am
bulate over the wood in a pretty fair time.
But just as he got started, the raft started
too, and as he walked up the river, it walk
ed down, both travelling at the same rate.
When he got to the end of the etieks, he
found they were pretty near shore, and in
sight of a tavern; so ho landed, and walked
straight into the bar-room he'd come out of.
The general sameness of things took him a
little aback, but be looked the landlord
steady in the face, and settled it in his own
way:
"Publican," said be, "are you gifted with
a twin brother, who keeps a similar sized
tavern, with a duplicate wife, a comporting
wood-pile, and corresponding circus bills, a
mile from here?"
The tavern keeper was fond of fun, and
accordingly said that it was just so.
"And, publican, have you among your
dry-goods for the entertainment of man
and horse, any whiskey of the same size of
that of your brother's?"
And the tavern man said, that from the
rising of the sus even unto the going down
of the same, he had.
They took the drinks, when the stranger
said, "Publican, that twin brother of yours
is a fineyoung man—a very flne man indeed.
But do you know, I'm afraid that he suffers
a good deal with the Chicago diptheria!"
"And what's that?" asked the todd
sticker.
"lt's when the truth Betties so firm in a
man that none of it ever comes out. Com
mon doctors of the catnip sort, call it lyin'.
When I left your brother's confectionery,
there was a raft at his door, which he swore
his life to was a mile long. Well, publican,
I walked that raft from bill to tail, from
his door to yours. Now, I know my time,
an' I'm just as good for myself as fora boss,
and better for that than any--awn you ever
did see. I always walk a mile in exactly
twenty minutes, on a good road, and I'll be
busted with an overloaded Injun gun if I've
been mor'n ten minutes coming here, stop
pin' over them bla.ned logs at that."
BERGER OUTDONE.-A Western champion
of the cue is practicing to surpass Mons.
Berger. He has had but little experience
as yet, but is improving, and hopes to cope
with the tremendous Frenchman aftet a few
years' practice. The following are some of
his diversion shots—a new name for what
Berger calls the "romantic:"
•'Driving a Nal down a leg of the billiard
table, down two pairs of stairs, and making
a carom on three balls suspended over a
pawnbroker's door.
"Shoving his bail through three lengths
of stove pipe, and drawing it back into his
overcoat pocket. Ile makes a very pretty
right angle shot through a stove pipe
elbow.
"Making a carom by causing a boll to
travel a portion of the distance on a cushion,
and travel the remainder on its nerve.
"Driving his ball between two balls four
feet apart, and hitting both at the same
time. This is done by his ball 'bursting ,
just as it gets between them.
"Making mass shots from various portions
of the table,. causing the player's ba]l to
twist forcibly against the abdomen of any
bystander designated.
"His great forte lies in `nursing' the balls.
In this delicate operation he is aided by two
competent wet nurses."
LEGISLATIVE WlT.—While Torn Corwin
was a member of the General Assembly of
the State of Ohio, be brought in a bill fur
the abolition of public punishment at the
whipping post. He made a speech thereon,
to which an elderly member replied as
follows:
"The gentleman , is not as old as I am,
and has not seen so much of the practical
operation of the system of punishment,
which he desires to abolish. When I lived
in Connecticut, if a fellow stole a horse, or
cut up any other rustics, we used to tie him
right up and give him a real good thrashin';
and he always cleared right out, end we
never saw him any more. It's the best way
of getting rid of rogues that ever was tried,
and without any expense to the State."
Corwit. rose and replied:'
"Mr. Speaker, I have often been puzzled
to account for the vast emigration from Con
necticut to the 'West; but the gentleman
last up has explained it to my entire satis
faction."
The bill was passed without further die-
=l3
Columbia Lumber Market
Panel Boards and Plank, W. Pine, $35.00
Ist Comm. " “ at 30.00
2nd .. 41 ti it 18.00
Culling g. ~ 12.50 a 13.00
Inferior " iC " 0.00
Bill Scantling, ilg 15.00
Joists and Scantling, Hemlock $9 a 10.00
Boards, .. 9 a 10.00
Bill Scantling, ~ 12.00
Ash Plank, 20.00 a 2.5.00
Siding, $l2 a 15.00
Long Shingles, 9 a 16.00
Cypress •• 10.00
Plastering Lath, 2.25 a 2.50
Arrival and Departure of Trains.
PERNSISYLVANIA RAILROAD.
Eaditterd.
Marietta Accommodation arrives, 8.15 A. M
Lancaster Train leaves 8.15 0
Columbia Acc. " 1.00 P. M
Harrisburg " ti 5.15 4 c
Emigrant, rt. 10.10 r•
Westward.
Emigrant arrives 1.30 A. M.
Mail leaves 11.27 4.
Columbia Acc. arrives 3.20 P. M.
Harrisburg « leaves 6.10 cc
Lancaster Train art ives 8.20 ct
02• The Columbia Accommodation Eastward,
will arrive at Lancaster at 1.40 P. M., eon.
necting there with the Fast Line East; re
turning, will leave Lancaster at 2.40 P. M., or
after the Fast Line West passes, arriving at
Columbia at 3.20 P. M.
MORTIMER CENTRAL LAkILWAY.
A ARMS- LIAM.
Morning Train, 6.30 A. M. 6.55 A. M
Noon ic 12.15 P.M. 12.30 P. M
Evening .4 5.00 if 6.10 "
HOLLOWAY'S PILLS AND OINTMENT—The great an
ingontsts of dlsease.—Tufluenza, Catarrh. &e.—Noth
ing is more talked of in all classes of society than the
marvellous cares dady effected by the two great Inter
nal and external remedies, Holloway's Pills and Oint
ment. All who are afflicted* with hoarseness, difficult
respiration, cold in the bead, harsh, settled cough.,
bronchia', asthma. wheezing in the chest, &c., will
find immediate and permauent. relief by robbing the
Ointment well into the throat, neck and chest, as it
loosens the phlegm and mucus collected to those parts,
while the effect of the Pills is to expel these humors
from the system. f'lo household should be without a
supply of these excellent family medicines at this sea
son of the year. [oel.ll'6o.
ERUPTIONS, SALT REETIV, ERYSIPELAS
It is now generally admitted that all eruptive dia.
eases depend upon some interned or constitutional
cause, and that to use washes or ointments for them
is a sure way to injure the system, and only to drive
in. not to cure tie di-eases But llumpEtrey'selmelfie
Hotneopathic Salt Rheum Pills are a true specific for
oil such diseases 'limy cure Rheum, Barber's
Itch. Erysipelas, Pimples on the Fuce. Ringworm, and
Nettle Hash. by curt lig the cause upon which they de
pend, and by restoring the skin to the state of health
and purity. Thus, not only is the disease cured, but
the softness aid beauty of the complexion restored.
Price 25 cm per box. with directions. Six boxes St.
N. B.—A full set of Humphrey" Homeopathic Spe
cifics, with Book of Directions. and twenty different
Remedies, in large vials. morocco case, $5; do. iu plain
$4; CHSe 01 Mittel, boxes, mid book, $2.
These Remedies, by the single box or case, are sent
l.y mail or express, free of charge, to any address ors
receipt of the price Address
Da. F. HUMPHREYS & CO;
No. 562 Broadway. N. York.
A. M. RAMBO, Odd Fellows' Hull, Agent :or Co
lumhin.
Oct. 20,'60 Ins
FOUND. --
The place to bave your likeness is at Jolters.
Jolley takes pictures as low as 8 cents a piece br
tbedoran.
Jollity takes Ambrotypes as low as 50 cents In cares.
Jolley takes pictures at 75 cent,
Jolley takes pictures at 81,00.
Jolley takes pictures at 5.145.
Jolley takes pictures at $1.50.
Jolley takes pictures at $3.00.
Jolley takes picture; at $l,OO.
Jolley takes pictures at 810.00.
Jokey takes pletures at 1125,08.
In Let Jolley takes the best and cheapest in the
couuty. Cull and see Jolley, opposite the Spy Office.
Columbia. June 22,1860.
! 1 tDEATEI I' I.
TO EVERY FORM AND SPECIES OF
VERMIN.
u CO.TAA'S"
'I . :O.:TAIL'S" RAT, ROAM, &C., EXTERMINATOR.
"COsTARV
"CORTARS" BED-800 EXTERMINATOR ,.
"CO-TA res"
"COSTARS" ELECTRIC POWDER. FOLt INSECTS, kat
DESTROY INSTANTLY
Rat s. 'Roaches, Mice, Moles, Ground Mice, Bed Bugs,
Ant+, Aloilm, Aloi-quiloes, Virus, Insects on Plains, In.
, oCI- on Animals, &cc., Am.!, every form sac
ipeeies of
EIBMICII
10 yearn establiebed in New York City—urted by the
City Pcea Office, the city PtirOSIA and Station !louses.
the city ,teatnerit ships We., the coy llotek...nstor t .
"St. Nicholas," dce., and by inure thou 20,000 private
fornilies
reit, and Retailer. everywhere .ell them.
Illialrl‘'nolestile Agents In all the large cities.
icrliegular sizes, aoe. and $L boxes, bottles..
117 - !!!Bcwittist!: of spurious iMilaliolls.
each box, bottle and Balk. and take nothing ba
TA WS."
1 . ,..8.1,00 boxes sent by mail.
11.7e53 and 1",0 boxes for Plantations, Hotels, Sze., by.
express.
I:7'Address orders—or for ••l'irculnr to Dealers' , to
HENRY R. COSTAR.
Principal Depot. 410 Broadway, N. Y.
Sold by Dr. W. S. McCORKI.E, at the Family Med—
clue Store 7 Odd Fellows' Columbia.
May 19,100.6 in
WORTLIV OF ATTENTION.—In to•dny's paper
will Le found the advertisement of Lindsey's Im
proved Blood Searcher, a medicine which has Heim
more rapidly in public favor than any ever invented
or di•covcred, and which has effected more perms•
neat cares of desperate cases Shan any remedial
agent ever brought before the public. Every person
afflicted should upply to oite of the agents for a circu
lar mid give the medicine a trial. If it does not cure
or afford relief, the money its all cases will Le re
funded
POND'S EXTRACT OF HAMAMELIS, OR
PAIN DESTROYER,
is one of the few dome-tic reinedier which have come
into general use and favor, without puffing. It is the
product of a simple shrub. hurailessin all CLLFCS,IIIIII its
u domestic remedy unequalled. Fur Burn-, Cuts,
Bruise.. Snreiless, Leimenew, Sprains, Rheumatism,
Boils. Ulcers, ow Sores and Wounds, it has not all
equal. It is a l-o u,ed, with great plareeSS, for l'ooth
ache. Headache, Neuralgia, tore Throat. Cube, Mar
riage, Hoe I 'encl., and other similar trouble-one arid
painful affeetion., while it promptly arrests all Ilems
orrlinge.. Hundred. of pl9fliehtllB see it gaily iii their
practice, mad give it their unqualified recommenda.
tuns. Sold by our /tp`lll.; and dealers. and by
F. HUMPHREYS & CO , fd:2 Itroudwar,
Sole Proprietors 01111 Manufacturers.
TID'A. M. Rstnuo, Odd Fellows' Mull, Agent for Co—
lumbia. [May 12, 'EGO
BOY WANTED.
rf . e n ,, l , ) , F•vt .. ra o lt d ra i i:i p s . :ne r t re o t f i) n io n7L( r , , ,;• h fi e ftf l e ,u n c ci: : :
Apply to
CARTER & DECICER, Conclanaker.,
Cala. NOV. a. IPO I / 4 1 - Co/tnta. Pa.
LOST: LOST:
Lintiett Gold IVnich Chain was lon on Thuritdal,
fl the 25.1 i Oe.ober, on lie pavement between Black's
Hotel Intd Dr. limner's residence. The finder will he
suitably rewatiled by returning it to
Nev. S,lNitFit I HA I.DPAI AN.
ESTX,4I:2I
ON Saturday, 2:th in.t.,a red Cow,
heavy wi h calk and a 1 , ma:l red
Heifer. sinived ;ram Om premises of •
the subsciitio r. in West tlctopfield
township, near Rough mid Remly
Furnace. This cow is some eight -
years old with nutter large horns. The Heifer is he
twetin one and two rear. old. The hinder will please
pen up the mode and inform the ..übserther, who wilt.
pity all charges. JOHN H. Milt KLEY.
Nov. 3. i I t
F Pf 3 1_61' Sf
AN Election for one Prerident. five Men:were. and
one Trepturer. in the Columbia and Manna Turn
pike Road Centrum:. will be held ut she bonne of
Moil Herr, 011 Suwon y. the 1:111 of November, be
tween she hours of 2 toad o'clock of &asd dor.
Nov 3.'201d J. W. COTTRELL. See'y.
. Dissolution of Partnership.
rnilECo-ParielerAisio herr torove exisiing between J.
I. 8. Dv ilea. Ur. II John and H. IC. Knotwell, In the
Drag Itu (Sego of ihe Golden Mortar) was dis
solved this day by annual content.
Colu. Nov. 1, IiCO
CONTINUATION OF BUSINESS.
Milk: Drug and f'reocroption fluoiotess will be con
tinuedtot the niot I..tatool by the under•oigned,ll4 part
ner*. under the firm nod tulle of Dr. H. Jolts:. dr. Co ~
nod under the .upervisiou of J. S. DeEett Who will
give it his undivided atoenqou.
Cola. Nov.:), 1860.
PUBLIC SALE.
ON THIS (SATURDAY) AFTERNOON, NONN
BIM 3, thitO, the under•igned will sell at public
sale.at the Sours et Henry Prattler, oppoatte the Co
lumbia Wok's' Draught Horse. Two-Herm, Carriage,
or 2 Hose Cur:take, with Pole and Shafts, two
Spring Wagon.. Saddle and Bridle. Set Light Hat
ne•is. dew CO.ll Barrow, a Lot of Steve... ti allure%
Columbia Gas Stock. 2 'bares Odd Fellows' Hull An
ceeta S ock, 3 shares Columbia Manufacturing
Comp
On pu.clia.eaegccedi•••• SUL notes with approved,
security at tr..; days will be . taken.
Sate to commence at 2o'clocl: P. M. of said day.
GEO. BOG LK. Avvittnec of 11. Plaitler
Columbia, November 3. 18644 i
41 . !1:4:11z0 k,•k. k,l
THEsubecriber acre his GARDEN; Lariat Colum
bia for rent, to au lione.t. sober and industrioup
man, who properly understands the cultivation of
Provo and Vegetables, and can come well recom
mended.
The enekrthre con ins nearly two acres of first
quality of land, and there are now growing thereon,
sod in good condition. more than one hundred and
fifty peach, apple. near, quince, nectarine and cherrgt
tree., twew y grape vine*, more iliatt llloo goopebeery t ,
raspberry. Lawlor blackberry and currant birth**,
and an asparague bed with one thousand crowns.
Possession will be given on the firer of January.
MUEL SINCE..
Columbin. November 3, IP6ththoSA
ONE THOUSAND
Gentlemen's Fa4hionable Shirt Collars—ten for Wit
realm, at A. M. RAAIBO'd
Nnv 3 ISM. Odd Fellows' Eta,l/24
THE CHEAPEST PLACE,
TO buy Oil Lampv.Shades,Chasoiev,ike...,abo,
the very beat Coal Oil, pettedly free from odor or
emote, at A. M. RANIBO'S
Nov. 3.18G0. Family Grocery Fame.
NEW CITRON,
'MEW Pared Peaches, New Dried Apples, New Cur
-1.11 resits. New Proses, Cranberries, Apples. Sic.,
just received at A. AI RAMBO'S
Nov. 3, IM. Grocery Store.
"Panic" Goods from New York.
Wll have jest received at our atom, great
bargains in Cloths, Ca mime res, Satinet ts, Vest.
logs, &e.
"PANIC STRICKEN GOODS,"
Irma the New York market. Gentlemen. parlicalarlV
them. alto Imes been so %mien mune WA to 1010eglirci
vents on the resell of the elections, will have en op
portunity to save PS per cent in their purchase.. and at
tram get a ponlon of their 'money back. by
arranß
ltsg their matter. at either of the slofe. erase sobseri
ber—opposite Odd Fellows , Hall. or edjoining the Co
lombia Bank.
This way Fellow Oitizenin Comm and liciostani.—
Call at 111. 0. IPONDESNINITIVIS Storm,
Noy. 34 lIKIL Locust St niet.Colanibia.
J. S. DELLET I',
11. Jul IN,
11 B. KNOTWEL.L.
H JOHN,
H. R. KNOTWELL