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EAXITEL VTR:O4T. Editor and ProorietOr.
VOLUME XXXI., 1-1.1
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING
Office in Carpet Hall, North-westcor2zer of
Lroront and -Lotheet e&eels.
, Terms of Subscription.
-fae Cop y pe rannum.l f paid in advance.
• • if fiat paid within ih ree
...ntontha r romeommeneetnentoithe year.
41:= , euxt al a <acrizeSr.
04 utpteriplion received fora lam. time than Ctz
al:sondes; ti.tul tic paper will he ftkeolithitted 131111! n il
an - enrages:we paid,attlear.i.t the optional the pub.
triter.
11:711oney nu yne•e mitredli ymail a ithepubliali
cOs flak.
Rates of Advertising.
'quart [ lll ines]osre week *O3B
three weekn. 75
each .0 hsequen 'insertion, 10
[1.12 ines]one wee k 50
three weeks. L 00
et • rile U .eq ur n iuraertion. 25
' Large radvertiserneo t•L n proportion
A liberal.liscoon t will he matic to qua rterly.half
early or,early OverLiscrs,who are strietl3couGned
°their lousiness.
DR. HOFFER,
TIENTISS.--OFFICE, Front Street 4th door
L./
Irmo Locust. over -uylor & Melloaald's took more
roltantatt. Pa. Da`llorance. t.tune a- Jolley'''. I'llo
,iograph Gallery. (August 21, 1855
THOMAS WELSH*, -
PIETIES OE TIIE PEACE, Columbia, Pa.
OFFION, in Whipper'F. New Building. below
Black's Hotel. Front street.
11j'Prompt uttention given to nll business moructed
to hie mire.
November 2E41507.
H. M. NORTH,
A.. ITIIIINEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAIC
Li Columlan.Pa
Callectione.f.romptly made .1 n La nen steiand Yorl
inuatieg.
Columbia, May 4,1950.
T. W. FISHER,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
40.01 - Laxick.l3 , l",, 3L="ex.
ColitTnbun., t‘rpiriliber 0, iNiG.tt
S. Atlee Bockius, D. D. S.
I)IIACTICES. the Operative Stirgseal and Meehan
11 lea Ve rtmetw. uI Deinisiry;
t lericE I.oeu- -ireet. helween he Frunk I n Hatt-et
net: l'u-; Office. ClALllrlina, I'.t
:11tiy 7 1,59
81100318,--1110 Doz. Brooms, at Wholesale
01 f2rtatl. at 11 PI'AIII.EWS.
Dec 12. la.i7 LOCII.I
atent Steam Wash Hollers.
T m mt.,: ...II known Boiler- ore kept eOll-tautly on
hood at
',neut.! -.trent. npputine the Franklin !Muse
COlOllll,lll. July Itt, Ira;
Harrison's Coumbian Ink.
A rriicii o ior clic., pi:no:mein lv bloc k
rr ,sitd 11 , 4 von° ling pro. von I.e bad in an.
...tinily. in Ile• Z 4 lnto, and blacker
,el 1- EinT,l4.ol Ito,. Poli•11.
Columbia 1.1 w• 9.1-59
CASTERN PUMP.
a large , lark of
010.1E11110. 10 m•hacl, lie Clll . , le 1110'1111011 01 1111 -
[OlOlO, lie 0- pa ejt.nn•d 10 11011110111 tip lOC 11..12111 .4
60h-raw:A alai rndunug tralittur
El=
( RAIIAM, or, Bond's Buslon CrarkerA, for
NJ 0, iool Ar o Rout 17....“•t0•t tot 1 0 -
nilli childien—nrw article- in Coltirnliin,
'4 lie Irainoly Medicine Store.
Atm! 16. 1.,19
NEW CROP -_:EEDLF.SS RAISINS.
T III.; for eats, Pudding, ke —o _fresh ,111111) at
II r.1.71*
Grocery Slore, Corner Fronton('
Nov. 19.1.039.
SHAKER CORN
JUST received. a hr-t rate lot of Slotker Worn
I. SUYI)A M's
I:merry Store, corner Front and Union •t.
Nov. ..20. 1 b. 59
*c.PALDING'S PREPARED GLUE.-Thc want of
-uch tall tar u•le I, tell In rvrr) fanuly, and now
van he soap:led; for invading Inanalure. chum
ware. ornamenitat work, ray:. \r, ihere nothing
mincrior. We have found n u•eful in repuirthg nue uy
uriicie- which have been u-eless fur month, You
Jan Ittin It ut the
ta.ouliA FM I Ll' MEDICINE STORK
IRON AND STEEL !
MllESubscotber. have revolved a New and Largo
Stock of all kola. and 41 V.: Of
•
BAR IRON AND STEEL !
They are con-runup •upp:icd tvith :so :hin brand:
of Las 111.1.111,M. undonti luinsb it to eu.nomor- in large
or ~mull quantities, Ea the iov,egt late.
J HUM PI.E & SON.
street below Second. C0111111101:1.
April
AREA'S COLORS. A general assortment
of color- in tubes. Alwo. vorteiy of Aril-r'
01 the Uoldell :Manor Drug-rare. [July:
14ITTER'S Compound Syrup of Tar and
_Lod w, Id .'berry. tnr Coogll-. C. Id. &,e Fur -ide a
h. C;.ildca Nlocal Drugstore Prom et puiy2
AYER'S Compound Coneentrated Extract
r-unpinllo kit the ewe or Selolodo or
Evil. and nil -croritiou.•drecrion, u fre, , li drift:le ju-t
received and for -ore by
It WILLIAMS. Front 61, Columbia,
verr. ;4 I
FOR SALE. •
200 CROSS Friction Molelies. very low for cosh
Joule 25. %% H. 11711.1,1 A
DRIED FRUIT.
TOR Drir.l Fruit—Annie, hlache,, Cherrie,
X ille io,l in the nntrket, to II r•liVI).1
Grocery Store, Corner Front and Union RI,
Dutch Herring!
ANY one fond of e. good Herm. , * numnied at
11 , .F 1.11V:1, 1
_Nov.l9. .
1859 Grocery Stoec.'9. o. 71 Locuqnt.
1 - „YON'S PURE 01110 CATAWBA BRANDY
WINES lor Melia:MOE ,
,Pd ...7. l acromentul purpo-e, ni I ile•
JU11.23 NI I IN 11.11191.71:Vr. 91 ORM.
_
NICE RAISINS for 8 els. per pound, arc to
be IMO °llly at
1::31:111.X.IN'S Grocery Store,
Morel, 10. iFno. No 71 heertt.i .treet
GARDEN SEEDS.—Fresh Garden Seeds, war
mated purc, of
. 1111 k•nti..ju.i rPretved
EBERLEIN'S Grocery Store,
March 10. lea) No 71 la - mit-t .oreet
POCKET BOOKS A IV DIV RSES.
ioi of Fine mild Common Porkel Book*
11. and P.urses, at from 15 cent. io two doll:iv...each
Ilt Idquartcro and New, Depot.
Columbia, AprA 14,1 •60,
A EEW more of those beautiful Prints
bell, which will be
SAYLOR a hicDoNA mys
Columbia, Pa.
April ,U
Just Received axed For Sale.
1500 SACP Ground Alum Salt, in large
oR .mallqua nti t Ye!, la
A PPOILITS
Warehoow. Canal
Mays 'GO
TAMARINDS, last received a new lot of
Tumarmds, at the Golden hlortur Drug Store.
ay It, IEOO.
COLD CREAN OF 6LITEBINE.—For the tore
and prevention to chapped honde..te For .ale
at the GOLDEN MORTAR DREG STORE.
Dee. 3,1855. - Front etreet. Colombia.
Turkish Prunes!
•
TOR a first rate article or Prunea you ream
BcoIN to
S. . lERL'S
N0v.19 , NW. -Grocery Stor P e,N No 71. Locum at
GOLD PENS, GOLD PENS.
JUST received n large and fine amoitment of Gold
Penv. of Newton and (Memo mannfaciure, at
SAYLOR a McIDOIVALD'S Book Store.
Agrit 14. 1 - root tgrect, above Locott.
EEE3
I=
it where he by chance is born?
Doth not the yearning spirit scorn
In such scant borders to be spanned?
0, ye , : bus fatherialiu inn.: be
El=
Is it alone where freedom is,
Where God is God and man is man/
Dada he not claim a broader spmt,
For the ,ours iove of home than till,/
0, ye-! has fatherland must lie
As the blue heaven wide and free!
Where'er u human heart dolt wear
Joy's myrtle wreath %r soirow's gyve:,
Wheree.r a human spirit strives
After a life more to ue mid fur,
There is the true males birthplace. grand,
Nis is a wort i•wids fatherland!
Where'er a single clove loth pine,
Whereer one man may help unoihei
Thank God for such a birthright brother,—
That 'pot of earth is thine and mine!
There Is the true man's limn-place grand,
Ili. i. n world-wide fatherland!
"Whet a fellow you are, Routitout, can't
you let us enjoy our breakfast in peace?"
good•homoredly remarked handsome Fred,
as he balanced on his fork the bright purple
end of a pulony at a bachelor's breakfast
party.
Now old Routitout wasn't a hit of a cur
mudgeon, but when be took up any subject
nothing could induce him to let it go until,
like a puppy with a new rug, he hail tugged
it to pieces. The report of the debate in the
House of Commons on the adulteration of
fod, unluckily, just caught his eye, and ac
cordingly he went into the subject, with
which he was really well acquainted, with
a, much gusto as Tutu Sayers went in at the
Benecin Big.
"It's all very well to say, don't care
for adulteration,'" he authoritatively ex
claimed, "hut you must: this breakfast ta
ble is built up of adulterations; take th..t
pidony you think so spicy, what will you
.ity to finding your to:is rutting off in o
month In• two, like an old post in damp
ground ?"
"Come, that won't 1111, old follow, why
should we take in dry rut with German Fllll
- ?"
"My dear boy, that is precisely what you
must take your chance ot, if you will eat
these poison bags without inquiring; why,
in all probability, that sausage is made from
putrid meat—you may always suspect had
meat where there is high seasoning, and
there are hundreds of instances on record
of people rirting away at their extremities
from eating these . putrid German sau-
12. I'FA 111.1.112.
I.l)en.i -lice,
sageq."
We all looked up; Bob Saunders, in his
amazement, spilt a spoonful of yolk down his
handsome whiskers, and there was a general
pause. There is nothing, like opening a con
versation with a startling, fact, and this; old
Routitout knew full well, and proceeded to
take instant advantage of the sensation he
had created.
"Fact" said ho, "here is an account"
(nulling an old German newspaper out of
his pocket) "of three German students who
gradually rotted away from eating putrid
sausages at Heidelberg."
"Well, they may keep their polonies for
me," said Bob, "I stick to eggs; what can
you make of them. old fellow?"
"Why, in all probability, the one you are
eating ought to have been by this time a
grandfather. Laid in some remote village
of France this time last year, it has lain ever
since pickled in lime water. The antiquity
of your London eggs is marvelloo.. They
come over hero by the million at a tine, and
you don't suppoe the continental hens hold
monster meetings to suit the time of the ex
porter ?"
"I wish you sviuld turn the conversation,"
Bob replied. "I taste the lime quite strong,
and must wash it down with a cup of cof
fee."
"Bean-flour, you mean," replied his for
mentor, "and possibly something worse.—
Just turn it over in your mouth again, end
see if there is a saw-dust smack in it. The
fine dark Mocha you get ;rt the Now Cut, for
instance, is adulterated with mahogany saw
dust."
My friend, Ned Allen, a bit of a heavy
swell, who effected to admire now and then
a plebeian thing, struck in here in his lisp
ing way:
'•Well, I mustit declare the finesth cop of
coffee I ever tastlited was at four o'clock in
the morning at nn itinerant coffee-stand, af
ter Lady Charlotte's ball—'twas really deli
cious I"
I saw . old Routitout's eye twinkle. as much
as to say, "now thou nrt delivered into my
hands." "Fine body in it, eh! Such a
'horse-doggy' man ns you should have re
cognized the flavor of, &c., &."
"Good God! what can you mean?" ex
claimed Ned.
"Ohl nothing, nothing; no doubt you folt
a sinking after that old skinflint% supper,
and wanted some animal food."
"Animal food in coffee, prepostwbusl"
"Ah! my ddar friend. I don't like to dis
turb your equanimity, biat'it is ¬ed fact
that the strong coffees used by the itinerant
coffee stand keepers get their flavor from
the knockers' yards. There are manufac•
Eorttg.
The Fatherland
BY SAMIC 4 11.111.. ELL LOWELt
gatttiolu.
Our Peck of Dirt
"NO ENTERTAINMENT TS SO CHEAP AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING."
Uk,L u E
tories oror in tite Borough, where (hey .dry
and pulverize horses' blood for the sake of
adulterating cheap coffees; and then the
cream, how do you think they could give
you such lucious cream in your coffee at a
penny a cup?—why, simple enough, they
thicken it with calves' brains. If you don't
believe me, read 'Rugg on London Milk,'
and see what he found in it with his micro
•cope."
"Well, I'm safe, then," I interposed, "as
I never touch anything but the best
green."
"That's just the mistake you reading men
always make," he replied. "I dare say you
innocently believe that green tea is made of
the young and tender leaves of the plant,
but the real truth is, it is black tea painted
—painted and bloomed like a worn out old
hag."
Old Itouitout dipped his huge fist into the
caddy and took out a handful of young I.ly
son, and held it side-ways to the light on
his open hand: "Do you see that beautiful
pearly green color, that's called the glaze—
a mixture of turmeric and Prussian blue.—
Think, my dear fellow, of the dose of poi
son you have been regularly taking nigh,
and morning; perhaps yea can now account
for that dreadful nightmare you had last
night. Old Sarah, the first and great duch
ess of Marlborugh, used to say that she was
born before nerves came into fashion; and
she never said a truer thing, for green tea
came in about her time, and 'the cup that
cheers, but not inebriates,' began to du its
deadly work upon us Britons."
"Do the Chinese drink green tea?" I in
quired.
"Yes," Ile replied, "the real young sprouts
of the shrub, but not the glazed abomina
tion sent over beret—that is manufactured
by them expro, ,, ly to suit the barbarians."
"But is there no tea wholesome?" we all
cried in astonishment.
"Yes," retorted old P.o❑ titont, tartly," your
good stron:4 Congee 34. 4d. is generally
pure: hlack tea In pre utile.c you
happen to get seme lri- i
There are people who go about to club
houses to collect oil tea T i hrt:-: ,
carpets with, but to recur] u l lye, and
again. If you h won't ta lake a tha•
ta , aes like hay, he sure that there ha= been
a resurrection from the teapot. lluroirerls
.01• tons of it arc ma4e in London yearly."
"Have an an, Ii cry, Bob?"
"They ain't anchovies," interposed our
old friend. "I) you think they can afford
to give you real anchovies at a shilling a
bottle? I tell you what they are, though.
Dutch fish colored and flavored to suit the
market; that red paste in which they swim
is bole armenian, a ferruginous earth. You
IMISi eat your peck of dirt before you die,
you know."
".11 , " dear Mr. Routitout," interposed a
quiet gentlemanly man of our parry, "take
a pinch of snuff to restore your equanimity."
Our quiet friend might just as well have
trodden at that moment on the tail of a puff
adder.
Old Itoutitout took a pinch with mock se
renity, and said, "Ye., if I wished to he
poisoned."
"Do you ever feel a weal:nets in your
wrists, my dear friend, eh!"
"Good gracious toe! no sir!"
"Well, then, if you will only persist lung
enough in taking this kind of snuff, you
will gradually find your hands full power
less at the wrist. like the paw:, of a kanga-
lIIIM
Here was another sencatiom and we all
looked for seine expLination.
"You think you are taking nothing hat
Powdered tobacco," said our oil friend, glar
ing at the snuffer. ••but I tell you there is
either chromate of potash, chromate of lead
or red lead in it to give it a color. nod you
get saturnine poisoning ac a eunsequenc, ."
"Come, take a pickle?" archly intcrpo..Nl
that incorrigible BA, determine , ' to rile our
tormentor, "the vinegar won't disagree with
your .,
"You are verdant enough to suppose that
is the natural color Of the vegetable, 1 sup
p-se?" retorted old Thoutitout, harpooning a
gherkin with his fork.
"To be , ore I cm, my Diogrmel" that
youth replied; "come get out of your tub
and descant "
"Then give Diogenes a steel fork. a knit
ting needle—anything of bright steel will
do to touch this verdant lie, and show you
the ugly venomous thing it contains. Now
let that knife remain in the jar for an hour,
and perhaps we shall learn the secret of
these verdant pickles. The very vinegar is
falsified."
"While you are about it you may as well
attack the whole cruet stand!"
"Nothing easier in the world. That prime
'Durham Mostnrd,' forinstance, is a delusion
rind a snare. There's scarcely a bit of mus
tard that you can gct pure at any price.—
This stuff is nothing more than ninety-five
per cent, of wheaten flour, just a dash of
pure mustard, turmeric to paint it up to
concert pitch, and black pepper to make it
sting; and you have been laboring under the
delusion all the while that you have been
eating mustard, sir."
"'Pon my honor I have," replied Bob;
"but what about the vinegar?"
"When do you particularly like vinegar?"
"Wen, to tell you the truth, I like a dash
on a native, taken standing at an oyster
stall, just to cool one's coppers after the—
opera."
"Just so," said Mr. Routitont, gravely
drawing from his pocket a note book. "I'll
NiNSVLVANIA. SATURDIY MORNING, OCTOBERI3,
let Dr. Hassell here a word with you—this
what he says for your especial comfort:
`We have found some samples of vinegar to
consist of little else but sulphuric acid col
ored with sugar; it is in low coffee-houses
and oyster-stalls that such is not uncom
monly met with.' So you see, my friend,
you are in the habit of 'cooling your cop
pers' with vitriol, sir, vitriol:"
"Now, then," said Bob, not half liking
it, "serve out the pepper, my Imy."
"Well, pepper—what you call pepper—is
mainly flour and linseed meal, flavored with
D. P. D."
"What in the name of all that is sacred
is D. P. D?"
"Oh, D, P. D. is short for dust of pepper
dust—the sweepings of the mills. The man
ufacturers supply it to the grocers in bar
rels, so that they can falsify at pleasure."
"Don't forget the soy while you are about
it."
"Well, that's nothing more than treacle
and salt, so says Hassell, and the fish-sauce
nothidg but vinegar and catsup colored—
with what do you think?"
"Can't tell."
'•Minute chips debarred deal!"
"Come," I interposed, "after all the dita.
greeablenesq, allow me to recommend you
one of these sweetmeats, What will von
hacd—a mutton chop, a rasher of bacon,
nr an oyster all done in sugar—or here's a
cock colored to the life.
"Charming bird, certainly: rind so you
recommend this cock fur n delicate stom
nob?"
"Well, drop it in your pocket, and I dare
say one of the little Itoutitouts will not
make wry faces about it,"
"Won't they? I think I know something
about this amiable bird. Look et his
bright yellon• beak—well, that's only chro-
mate of lead, and those blood-red wattles—
there is nothing more injurious in their
colors than vermillion. Those beautiful
stripes of yellow on the wings are gamboge,
and the verdant stand on which he is strut
i.ar,:eniare of c•ipper, or Soheele'. gre
—three deadly poisons and a ira-tie purge!
Perhaps 11 , N7 you would like one of you-
Y .unk,rs have a suck at th N same pullet?"
•'\or. so MO as that, old fellow!" I re
p:led, furtively dropping out of my pocket
a colored bonbon intended for the little one
at home. “A .light indigestion, perhapQ,
that a dose of gray powder would put to
rights in a day."
ant very glad you mentioned gray
p user—mercury and chalk that should be;
for let me tell yon,you may find the remedy
worse than the disease."
"Why, do you know, sir," he said, raising
his voice, "that they sometimes make this
infra tile remedy out of the scrapings of
looking-glasses?"
"Ant what are the scrapings of looking
glasses composed of ?"
"Why, an amalgam of tin, antimony. an
arsenic, as a foil for the mercury. They
sell this abeminahle stuff at S,l. a pound•
and if you happen to buy gray powder in a
low neighborhood, you stand a very g•,ud
chance negating some of it. Not content
with poisoning and loading our food with
all sorts ot indi4c4tinle ruhhihh, they
next proceed to adulterate the drugs me
depend upon to cure us."
upon my word," said Bob, "here
we've been
,jollying at this elegant dcienuer
a la fourcheile, and eating all the delicacies
of the season, when in conies this learned
wretch and turns all into gall and worm
wood. Let us see what we've really taken.
Why there's a whole paint. lox of paints to
begin with—Prussian blue, turmeric, bole
I=l
"Stop a bit," cried old Routitout, "thc•o
preserves look very red—there's cochineal
in them; Tut down cechineal."
"Very well, cochineal—blue, yellow, red
and searlet—four coats of paint for delicate
stomachs."
"Isl ,, tc, then, for the mineral.: sulphur in
the sulphuric acid, lead in my friend's rap-
"Stop a minute," eagerly interposed
Routitout, "again let me esamin e the knife,"
and rushing to the picklejnr tie triumph
!
I aptly returned. "Copper! I told yon so—
look at the coating on the knife. Copper,
jingo! „
"Veryjingo.
" , Very well—lend, copper."
"And if any of you had happened to have
sweetened your tooth with that cock of meg
nificient plumage, there would have bee
an addition of mercury and arseninte of
copper, a pretty metallic currency to put
into your blood's circulation with your
breakfast, and then for a gentle alterative
to-morrow morning—antimony, mercury
and nrsenic, alias gray powder, would be
likely to set matters right with a vengeance,"
and old noutitout laughed a demoniac
laugh, "and, stop a bit, you have not done
yet—there's lime in the eggs, sand in the
sugar, horse•blood in the coffee, nod, per
haps, mahogany saw-duet! just throw these
little items in to make it 'thick and "
"Bob," said I, turning very briskly upon
our tormentor. "let's wash our mouths out
with a glass of beer."
"Here's to you," he said, watching with
his clear blue eye the "beaded bubbles
winking at the brim."
"I dare say now you think that fine head
is a recommendation to your tipple. The
;author of a practical treatise on brewing'
however, lets us into a secret; the heading
he tells us, is a mixture of half alum and
half copperas ground to a Sae , powder, and
is so called for giving to porter and ales Mt
beautiful head of froth which constitutes one
of its peculiar properties, and which land
lords are so anxious to raise tergratify their
customers. That fine flavor of malt is pro.
duced by mixing salts of steel with coculu s
indicus, Spanish liquorice, treacle, tobacco
and salt."
"But there's nothing of the kind in pale
ale," I replied.
"Well," sail he, in a half disaprpinted
tone, "they used to talk about strychnine,
though I believe that's all bosh, but you
can't deny camomiles."
"But what's the tiQc of disenchanting ty=
in this way, if tradesmen are all robbers to
gether?" I inquired. "What remedy have
we?"
"That's just the thiig the House of Com
mons at this very moment are trying to give
you. Mr. Seholeficld's bill on the adultera
non of food, which was oriFinally intended
to hit the adulterator very hard, is etnascu
hated enough. for fear of interfering with
trade; but there will be sonic protection for
the intelligent classes, it is trite. Any
article suspected of being adultetated, may
be publicaliy analyzed, and if f mad to be
sophisticated, the guilty party will he liable
to a fine; this will lead to the better class
of tradesman warranting their goods ns
pure, and the middle and upper classes will.
•in the end, reap the benefit of Dr. litt•tddl'i,
investigations, and Mr. Seltolefield'a
bill—
but as for the poor, God help them! They
pay dear for what they have, and never, by
any chance, have it pure; and as they can't
afford to have suspected articles analyzed,
they must go to wall, as of old. We
want a little touch of French deipotisin iu
these matters. Every drop of milk brought
into Paris is tested at the barriers by the
laetometer, to see ill the 'iron-tailed cow'
has been guilty of diluting it—if so the
whole of it is remorselessly thrown into the
gutter—the Paris milk is very pure in con
sequence If a tradesman adalterates any
article of food offered for ails, he is first
lined, and then made publicly to confess
his fault, by means of a large placard placed
in his window, setting forth the exact
nature id the trick he has played upon his
ou-dinners. Imagine smite Of our leading
tradesman obliged to sit in stiek.el 'tit and
ashes, and suffer this mural pillory! Ooe
lor two rogues thus cap ised world hove a
t marvelous effect in keeping the sand out of
the sugar, and the burnt beans out of the
coffee, ,ke.,
"Now then, old fellow, as you have work
ed yours, - If round into good humor again,
take a weed?"
"\ at the slightest objection in life, for
it', the only thing to be got unsophisticated
—there k plenty of bad tobacco, it is true—
bat we know it is tobacco. There are
many tales going, about the fine qualities of
British tobacco grown in the Camberwell
cabbage beds—but it's all fudge."
"C.•tne," said I. "let's take a cnnstitu
banal in the fresh air after this lecture?"
"Fresh nir indeed;" 'all our old friend's
savngeness was fast reviving. "Fresh air,
with every gully hide sending forth streams
of sulphurcted hydrogen, and < aiphuria
acid, impregnating all the water—whore on
earth do you find t our fresh air?"
When he would' have ended there is no
telling, had nut Bob slily tempted him with
a thumping principe, on which his mouth
closed with immense satisfaction to all par
ties concerned.
Telegraphic Literature
llessr4. Ticknor & I'u•tds, of B t.foa, have
just published a work on the Ilistory, The
'try and practice "1 the Electric Telegraph.
It is from the pen of Ow .rgo 11 Premottt,
Supetintentient t,f :he Telegraph
Lines, whose experiete.e eitatues him to
write intelligently and interestingly on the
sulijeet. From the intsdellaneons parts or
the hoo6 we take the following:
I=
The despatches winch p.ts, , tver a tele-
graph line in the course of a year. if col
leacd together, would present a very curi
ous and interesting volume of correspon
dence. The price of the transmission of a
message depending upon the number of
words which it contains, of contse renders
the construction of it necessarily as brief as
possible. Most despatches are contained in
less titan ten words, (exclusive of address
and signature, which are net charged for,)
and it is surprising how much matter is
often contained in this brief number.—
Among the best examples of brevity which
we have met with, however, arc the two
following:
A lady in a neighboring city, desirous of
ascertaining when her husband would return
home, sent him a message making the in
quiry; to which he responded that important
business detained him, and that he could
not leave for some days.
The lady immediately replied by sending
him another despatch in the following, la-
I=2
"At Home, .AuguAt 12, 1850.
"To P. C. P.—Despatch received. Dent•
eronomy.xxic, ,I
(Signed)
The g,entleman to whom the despatch was
addressed, upon referring. to the passage in
the Scriptures alluded to, obtained the fol
lowing suggestive epistle:
"When a man bath taken a new wife he
shall nor ge out to war, neither shell lie be
charged With any business; but lie shall be
free at home one year, and shall cheer up his
wife which he bath taken."
The second example is the reply sent to a.
$1,50' PE'R'YEATI IN ADVANCE; $2.00 IF NOT IN ADVANCE.
'6O.
person in a distant city, who having com• 1
mitted some offence against the laws, and
run away; was desirous of ascertaining if it
would be prudent for him to return. Lie
therefore telegraphed in the following la
conic style:
"New York, July 4, 1859.
"To B. C. N.— Philadelphia:
"Is everything 0. K? D. T. M.
To which he obtained the following brief
reply:
"Philadelphia, Ju ly 4. 1559.
"To D. T. M—, New Tork:—Procerbs,
emp. axvii. 12. B. C. M."
Upon reference to the passage indicated
the inquiring, individual obtained the fat
lowing valuable advice, which, it is to be
presumed he followed:
"A prudent man fmseeth the evil and
7:i16171 himself: but the simple pass on and
arc punished!"
I=
Some years ago there was a joke passing
around upon the different telegraphic lines,
which was played oft on a good many nn•
suspecting individuals, in the following
manner:
"Boston. April Ist, 1855.
"To L. E. Thant, at some hotel, Neto Bcdford:
"In leaving this morning Sou neglected
to take your trunk. What shall be dune
with it?
By pronouncing the name of the party
addressed quickly, and the signature slowly,
a solution of the '•sell" is obtained, and you
get a view of the elephant at the same time.
=
There is another mode of receiving inted
ligence In connection with the Morse lines,'
besides those already described; namely, by
means of the pass,age of shocks through the
system. This we presume, has often been
accomplished by different persons, although
we have nut been knowing to the fact. Mr.
Milliken, of the American Telegraph Office
in Boston, assures us that he once read the
greater part of a despatch as it was passing
oler the wires between Boston and Port
land, and that ho beard the Portland oper
ator respond “0 K" (all right) to it, while
he was seated upon the draw at Mystic
river bridge, and held the end of a wire in
each hand, thus passing the current through
the body, 'and enabling him to read the let
ters by the duration and number of the
shocks he received.
We have succeeded, upon several occa
sions, in receiving messages in this manner,
when we have been at a distance from an
office and wished to obtain information in
regard to the state of the line.
Not long since we had been annoyed upon
one of our wires by a very bud earth cur
rent, and none of the repairers being able
to find the difficulty, we instituted a search
for it. Finally, upon arriving at Nepenset,
we opened it circuit at the draw, and in
quired of the Boston operator, by touching
the ends of the wire together in the proper
time, if the et:nit-current was between us
and the Biiston office, or beyond. This he
would at once tell by my opening the cir
cuit—disconnecting the wires; if he got nay
magnetism when the wires were disconnec
ted, then the earth-current was between us
and the office; if he got none, then
.the
trouble was beyond. This was important
for us to know. lie replied that he did get
an earth-current then we opened the cir
cuit— We asked if it was very strong.—
"Tee," I e replied, "nearly as strong as when
you close."
All this, the reader vi ill understand, we
received through our system, and interprmed
by the duration and number of the shocks.
••There is trouble also on the New Bedford
wire,'' said he; "I have not had any circuit
f+r nearly half an hour."
We then sent an order for a line repairer
to go out at once mid repair that line, and
th en recommenced our investigations into
the location of the earth-current. which we
shortly aricrwahls succeeded in finding.
=I
S.me ten ye.irs or more ago there was
upon the New York and Washington tele.
graph line, at the L'hiladelphin station, an
operator named Thayer, who, besides hying
an adept in the business, was a gentleman
of cultur.l and wit, and exceedingly fond of
a joke, no matter nt whose expense. At
the New York terminus of the line there
was, upon the contrary, a steady, matter-of
fact sort of man, who was no appreciator of
jokes, and never practised them. The Pres
Went of the line was lion. B. B. French, for
many years Clerk of the !louse of Repre
sentatives at Washington, n wit, poet, and
humoris'; of course he appreciated humor
wherever he canto across it.
Thayer took it into his head one day to
send a despatch to some fictitious name in
New York, for the purpose of enj•+ying a
laugh at the expense of the operator at Ncw
York. Accordingly he composed and fur
warded the following:-
1 "PIIIIADELPUIA. April ], ISGO.
J . "To Mr. Jones, New York:
Dent- "Scud me ten dollars nt once, so that I
can get my clothes. (Signed) Juma."
"13 words, collect 34 cents."
The operator of 'den• York, not suspect
ing any, joke, asked the Philadelphia opera
tor for the address.
The Philadelphia operator replied that
"the young lady diirnt leave any;" and
asked him to "look in the Directory for it."
The New York operator replied that he
"bad already done so, but as there were
over fifty Joneses in the Directory, he wcs
at a loss to know which one to send it to." I
[WHOLE NUMBER 1,571
"If that is the case," says Thayer, "you
bad better send a copy to each of them, anti
charge thirty-four cents apiece." .
The New York operator did so, and I will
give the result of the arrangement in the
words of the President, Mr. French, from
whom, a few chys after this affair Mr.
Thayer received the following letter.
"NEW YORK, April 6, 1860.
"MR. TnA%ER,—Sir: A few days since you
sent a despatch purporting to be from one
Julia, addressed to Mr. Jones, New York.
The New York operator informed you that
he desired an address, as there were upwards
of fifty .Joneses in the directory, and was at
at a loss to know which of them it was de
signed for. You replied that in that case
he must send a copy to, every one of thorn
and charge upon each; and,the operator in
New York, in the Innocence of his heart,
did so. Some twenty of the Joneses paid
for their despatches, but there was one sent
to the residence of an elderly merchant by
that name, who being away from home when
it arrived, it was opened by his wife, and
was the occasion r f a very unpleasant do
mestic scene. Mr. Jones has been to see
me in relation to the matter, and threatens
to sue the company for damages, taking the
thing very much to heart.
"Now, this - nll very funny, and a good
joke, and l have laughed nt it as heartily as
anybody; butyou hail not better try it again
or any of the rest of the operators upon the
line, if you rdue your situations."
"ADAM GooDSCI.I.."
We chin - teed to be conversing with the
manager of a telegraph office in his coun
ting-room, when an individual entered, and
proceeded to the counter where the business
was transacted, winch was at the farther
side of the room, some litle distance. froth
where we were standing, and commenced
preparing a dispatch for the clerk, who
stood ready to receive it. The manager,
with whom we were conversing made sev
eral apparently careless little taps upon the
shelf before him with a pencil, which he
held in his hand; the clerk at the other end
of the room was also, apparently to us,
drumming listlessly with his penholder, as
he waited on his customer. All this time,
while four of ua were holding an animated
colloquial intercourse, the apparently care
' less tops of the two telegraphers were intel
ligible communications exchanged between
them.
@ME
Noisager.—"Give your attention for a
despatch." (The usual taps for a "call" of
an operator from one station to another im
plying the above.)
Clerk.—" Al l right; go ahead."
Munagir. —"Don't send that man's mes
sages unless he pre-pays in ensh."
Clerk.—" All right; won't credit him .a
dime." . .
Xanager.—"After he pays this one, col
lect sixty-eight cents for messages sent by
him yesterday, which he was trusted' for."
By this time the clerk had a bank mate
which the dilatory customer had produced,
upon learning that it was necessary for the
messages to be prepaid, and from which he
blandly made change, deducting the sixty
eight cents.
The communicated sound had in this in
stance proved of some little service, and
was utterly unnoticed save by the two par-
ties interested.
Some ten years sine° ti.c•e was a very
ludicrous, and at the same time natural
blunder, prepetroted upon the line between
Roston and New Fork. A gentleman sent
a despatch I....questing parties in New York
to "nit ward sample forks by express."—
'When the message was delivered, it real
thus: "Forward sample for K. S."
The parties who received it replied by
asking what samples K. S. a:lilted.
Of cunr:e the gentleman came to the office
and complained that the despatch had been
transmitted wrong, and the operator prom.
ised to repeat it. Accordingly ho tele
graphed the New York operator, that the
dispatch should have read, "Forward sam
ple forks." The New Yor•k operator, having
read it wrong in the first instance, could
not decipher it differently now. lie replied
that he did rend it, •'Sample fur K. S.'' and
o delivered it.
"But," returned the Boston' operator, "I
did not sny 'fur K. S., but f-n
"What a stupid fellow that is in Boston."
evelaimed the New York operator, in n rage,.
-Ile say• lie didn't say fur K. S., but for
K. Sr'
The 'Boston operator tried for an hour to
make the New York operator read it
"forks," but not succeeding, he wrote the
despatch upon a slip of paper, and forward
ed it by mail; and it remained n standing'
joke upon the line for many months after
wards.
.Since the paper has been abolished u p on
the ,parse lines, errors like the above
rarely occur. The car is found to be a
much more reliable organ for the telegraph
er than the eye. We do not think we
should overshoot the mark if we said there
: is not one error made in reading by sound
where there were ten formerly in reading
from the long strips of paper. Ono reason
is, as we remarked in a previous 'chapter,
I that the operater in reading by so n d ' has
I his eyes at liberty, and can write dotra his
despatch as he reads it by the tick, with all
the facility with which an expert reporter
can follow and note down accurately all the
ADrANTACE CW RE .DISC BY SOUND
The following was the dialogue which oc-
I=l
MIMI