SAMUEL WIWI= Editor and Proprietor. VOLUME XXIX, NUMBER 34.] M/MUD EVERY SATURDAY MORNING 'Office in Northern Central Railroad Ccm- Vny's Building,north-teest corner I}ont and abzut etroets. 'Terms of Subscription. s se Copyperannum . ,lf paidin advance, •, 44 if not paid within three Arnalth SfirOM COO:MUM CCIZACtII Of the year, 200 4'C)C 0 12:61111 .. 4 001::037'.. tie saltieription received for a less time than six isnontherand no paper will be discontinued until all asicearagesarepaid,unlessat the optional the pub. ,usher. Krbroseymayberemittedbymail sithepublish 4Ws risk. Rates of Advertising, a square[6llnes] one week, three weeks, _ each calisequentinsertion, 10 21ines]one week, 50 throe weeks, 1 00 it eacbsubsequentinsertion. 25 Largeradverlisetrientxin proportion. ,IlliberalOiscount will be outdo to quarterly,balf yearly oryearly.mivertisers,who are strieti)confined o their business. Intrg. From Longfellow's Nesv Book of Poems Children. Come to me, 0 ye children! For I hear you at your play, And the questions that perplex me Have vanished quite away. Ye open the eastern window-, That look toward the sun, Where thoughts are singing swallows And the brooks of morning ran. In your hearts are the birds and the sunshine, In your thoughts the brooklets flow, But in mine is the wind of Autumn And the first fall of the snow. Alt! what would the world be to ua If the children were no more! We shonld dread the desert behind us Worse than the dark before. What the leaves are to the forest, With light and air for food, Ere their sweet and tender juices . 2lave been hardened into wood-- That to the world are children; Through these it feels the glow Of a brighter and sunnier climate Than reaches the trunk below. Come,to me, 0 ye children! And whisper in ray ear What the birds and the winds are singing In your sunny atmosphere. For what are all our contrivings. And the wisdom of our books, • 9,- . o 3V6iireiniliptireil with your caresses, And the gladness of your looks! Ya are better than all the ballads That aver were sung and said; For ye are living poems, And all the rest um dead. gelertixtito. The Young Englishman. [From "The Arabian Days' Entertain ment," a new work just issued by Messrs. Phillips, Sampson & Co., Boston.] My Lord Sheik, in the southern part of Germany lies the little city of Grunwiesel, where I was born and bred. It is small, as all cities are in that country. In the centre is a little market-place with a fountain, an old guildhall on ono aide, and round the market the houses of the justice of peace and the more influential merchants; and a couple of narrow streets hold all the rest of the inhabitants. All know each other; every one. knows what happens everywhere else; and if the priest, the burgomaster, or the doctor, has an additional dish on his table, by dinner time it is known to the entire city. In the afternoon the ladies go to each other's houses, paying visits as they call it, to talk over strong coffee and sweet biscuits, aboi4,thiegreat event; and the general con clusion arrived at is that the priest must have invested in a lottery and woo money sinfully, or the burgomaster have taken a bribe, or itlie_t doctor hive received money from the apothecary on the condition of writing expensive prescriptions. You may imagine, my Lord Sheik, how disagreeable circumstance it must have been fur so well regulated a place as Grunweisel, when man arrived there, of whom nobody knew whence ho came; what he wanted. or how he Jived. The burgomaster, to be sure, had seen hie passport,—a paper which every ono is obliged to have among us— "ls it so unsafe in your streets," inter rupted the Sheilri.'"that you require to have afiraitaa from year sultan to inspire robbers with respect?" NO, my lord,—answered the slave;—these papers are no protection against thieves, but afro ,made necessary by the law, which re quireelhat it must be known everywhere who is who. Now, the burgomaster had .examined the priirelmirl; and had declared at ot,ereffee 'party at the doctor's, that it was certainly correctly vised from Berlin to terearleiel; but be feared tbere was some- Atkimpbehindaor die Man had a very saspi- AiOlia Jock boat him. The burgomaster Autod Veat,autherity in the city, ,se it is AD ,matter or surprise' that in consequence the stranger came to be regarded as a. very doubtful character. Iris mode of life did not tend to disabuse my countrymen of this opinion. Ile hired a house for his exclusive use put Into . ,it,a cart load of strange look lig furniture, each as furnaces, sand-baths, stacibles - and the like, and lived hencefor ward-entirely alone. Way, be even did his awn cooking, sad his house was entered by na human being, except one old man of Grunwiesel, wtiose duty it was to buy his bread, moat and vegetables. Even this per son was only admitted to the lower floor, where the stranger mot him to receive his purchases. I was a boy of ten years of age when the Winger took up his residence in our city; and I can call to mind, as plainly as if it had 44,ipppapti tut yesterday, th e excitement the Ataxt OCCltsioned in the place. Igo never came of an afternoon, like other people, to the bowling green; never of an evening to to the tavern, to talk of the times over his pipe and tobacco. In vain did the burgo master, the justice, the doctor, the priest, each in his turn, in vito him to dinner or tea; ho invariably begged to be excused. In con sequence of all this, some people regarded him as a desperado; some thought he must be a Jew; and a third party declared with great solemnity that he was a magician or sorcerer. I grew to be eighteen, twenty years old, and still the man was always called in the city "The Stranger." It happened, one day, that some people came to the city with a collection of strange animals. The troop which showed itself on this occasion in Grunwiesel was distinguish ed by the possession of a monstrous ourang outang, nearly as large as a man, which went on two legs, and knew all sorts of con ning sleights of hand. It chanced that its performances took place in front of the stranger's house. When the drum and fife sounded, ho made his appearance, at first with visible vexation, behind the dark, d ust begrimmed window of his residence. Soon, however, he grew more amiable, and, open ing his window, to everybody'sastonishment, looked out and laughed heartily at the ourang-outang's gambols. Nay, he paid so large a piece of silver fur the entertainment that the whole city talked of it. The next morning the collection of ani mals went on their way. They had scarcely made a league on their journey, when the stranger sent to the post-house, demanding, to the postmaster's amazement, a post chaise and horses, and set forth by the same gate and on the same road taken by the mena gerie. The whole city was furious at not being able to learn whither ho was going. It was night when the stranger again re turned to the gate in the post-chaise. A person was sitting with him in the vehicle, with his hat pressed closely down over his face, and his mouth and cars bound in a silk handkerchief. The gate-keeper considered it his duty to speak to the second stranger, and demand his passport. Ifis answer was surly, and growled out in sonic untelligible language. "It is my nephew," said the stranger po litely, putting several silver coins in the gate-keeper's hand; "he understands very little German. What he said just now was swearing at our being delayed here." "All! if he is your nephew, sir," answered the gatekeeper, "of course he can enter without a passport. lie will live in your house, no doubt?" "Certainly," said the stranger; "and will probably remain with me a long while." The gate-keeper made no further opposi tion, and the stranger and his nephew; passed into the city. The burgomaster and the whole town were much displeased with the conduct of the gate-keeper. Ile should at least have taken notice of the nephew's lan guage; it would then have been an easy matter to decide to what nation he and his uncle belonged. The gate keeper asserted, in reply to these complaints, that it was neither Italian nor French, but had sounded a good deal like English; and, unless his ears bad deceived him, the younger gentle- i man had said distinctly, "Pox-bif!" By this the gate-keeper helped himself out of his scrape, and, at the same time, assisted the young man to a name, for nothing was talked of now but the young Englishman. The young man, however, was no greater frequenter of the bowling-green or the tav ern than his uncle was; but he furnished the people much food for conversation in another way. It happened new, not un frequently, that in the hitherto silent house would be heard a frightful uproar and shrieking, so that the passers-by would stop before the house in crowds, and gaze up at the windows. The young Englishman would be seen dressed in a red frock and green trousers, his hair erect, and his appearance indicating terror, running with great speed through the rooms, from window to window, the old stranger pursuing him with a hunt ing whip in his hand, and often failing to overtake him. But it sometimes seemed to the crowd below that he had succeeded in catching the young man; for they could hear, issuing from the rooms above, cries of anguish and sounds of blows. The ladies of the city took such deep concern in this cruel treatment of the youthful stranger, that they induced the burgomaster at last to take some notice of the affair. Ile wrote a letter to the strange gentleman, in which he alluded in vigorous terms to his harsh treat ment of his nephew, and threatened him, in case similar scenes continued to transpire, with taking the unfortunate young man un der his especial protection. 81 50 [~] Imagine the surprise of the burgomaster when he saw the stranger entering his doors for the only time in ten years. The old gen tleman excused Lis conduct towards his nephew on the plea of the peculiar direc tions of the parents of the young man who had entrusted him with bis.education. He stated that the youth was in most respects clever and intelligent, but that he learned languages with great difficulty; that be wished so earnestly to make his nephew an accomplished German scholar, that he might afterward take the liberty to introduce him into the society of Grunwiesel, and the pro gress made by him was so discouraging. that on many occasions there was no better course to pursue than to beat it into hint by a suitable castigation. The burgomaster expressed himself perfectly satisfied with this explanation, recommended a little more "NO ENTERTAINMENT IS SO CHEAP AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING." COLUMBIA, PENNSYLVANIA, SATURDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 26, 1 moderation in the infliction of chastisement, and reported in the evening at the beer . ea loon, that he had rarely met in his whole life, a better-informed and more agreebble gentleman than the stranger. "The only pity is," he added, "that he goes so little into society; but 1 think, as soon as his nephew can speak a little German he will visit our circle oftener." By this single incident the opinion of the city was completely changed. They re garded the stranger as a well-bred man, felt a desire to cultivate his acquaintance, and considered it to be perfectly in order, when now and then a frightful shriek was heard to issue from thedesolatehouse. "He is giving his nephew a lesson in German," the Grunwieselonians said, and went on without paying further attention to the matter. Three months passed by, and the tuition in German seemed to have come to a close; but the old man went a step further. There lived in the city an old, infirm Frenchman, who gave lessons in dancing to the young people. This man the stranger summoned to his house, and told him that he desired him to teach his nephew to dance. There was nothing, the Frenchman se cretly declared, so wonderful in all the world as these dancing-lessons. The nephew, a tall, slim, young man, with rather short legs, made his appearance, he said, in a red frock, his hair nicely curled, wido trousers, and white gloves. He spoke little, and with a foreign accent, and seemed, in the beginning, rather intelligent and docile; but he frequently broke out into the most ridiculous leaps, dancing the wildest tours, in which he made entrechals which surpassed all the dancing masters ho had ever seen or heard of. When it was at tempted to check his extravagances, ho would pull off the delicate dancing-shoes from his feet, throw them at the French man's head, and run round the chamber on all fours. At the noise, the old gentleman would rush out of his room, in a large, red bed-gown, and a cap of gold paper ,on his head, and lay his whip heavily over his nephew's shoulders. The nephew would at once aegin to howl in the most !rightful manner, spring on the table and high book cases, and even on the upper sashes of the windows, and talk all the time a strange, foreign language. The old gentleman would give him no respite, but, seizing him by the leg, would pull him down, beat him soundly, and draw his neck-cloth tighter round his neck by the buckle; after which the nephew would become mannerly and sober again, and the dancing-lesson go on quietly to its close. These dancing-lessons very nearly killed the old Frenchman; but the dollar which he regularly received and the good wino which the old gentleman brought out, always took him back to his pupil, often as ho resolved never to set foot in the hateful 'house again. The people of Grunwiesel looked on these things very differently from the Frenchman. They settled in their own minds that the ycung gentleman possessed great talents for society; and the ladies in the place all congratulated themselves—suffering as they did from a great lack of gentleman—on the acquisition of so vigorous a dancer fur the coming winter. One morning, the nu.ids, returning from market, described to their masters and mistresses a singular incident. They had seen an elegant carriage standing before the stranger's house, and a servant in rich livery bolding the step. Two gentleman had entered the carriage, the servant sprung into the boot behind, and the carriage—only imagine it!--drove right off to the burgo_ master. Everywhere people were in raptures with the two strangers, and regretted only that • they had not made their acquaintance earlier. The old gentlemen showed him self to be a well-bred, sensible man, who laughed a little, to be sure, in everything ho said, rendering it difficult to know whether be was in jest or earnest; but who talked of the weather, the scenery, and the picnics to the cave in the mountain, so politely and shrewdly that every one was delighted. But the nephew! He bewitched everybody; he won all hearts. As for his exterior, it was impossible to call him ex actly . handsome. The lower part of his face, especially his jaw, projected too far, and his complexion was extremely dark; while occasionally he made the most re markable grimaces, shutting his eyes, and snapping his teeth together queerly; but people found the shape of his features ex ceedingly interesting. "He is an English man," people said; "they are all so. We must not be too particular with an English man." Towards his old uncle he was wry sub missive; for whenever be began to jump too vivaciously about the room, or as he seemed particularly inclined to do, draw his feet up under him on his chair, a single stern glance from the old man served to bring him to order at once. And how could one be angry with the young man, when his uncle, in every house, said to the lady, "My nephew is still a little raw and ill bred, Madam; but I anticipate much from the mollifying effect produced by your society, and I implore your forgiveness for any gaucheries he may happen to be guilty of. Thus was the nephew at length intro duced to the gay world, and all Grunwianel spoke of nothing else fur the two following days but this great event. The old gentle- man renounced his habits of retirement, and seemed to have wholly, altered his modes of thought and life. In the after noons he went, with his nephew, to the cave in the mountain, where the more im portant citizens of Grunwiesel drank beer and rolled ninepins. Here the nephew showed himself a skillful master of the game; for he never threw less than five or six balls. Ozcasionally a strange humor seized him. It happened, more than once, that he rushed like an arrow down among the ninepins with one of the balls, making a dreadful racket, and when he made a spare or a ten-strike, the fancy sometimes came over him to stand erect on his nicely curled head, and extend his legs high into the air; or, if a carriage happened to pass, before one knew what he was about be would be seen sitting on the top of the vehicle, making the most ludicrous grim aces, and, after riding on a short distance, return, with prodigious leaps and bounds, to the party he had quitted. The old gentleman, at such incidents as these, was wont to beg her ten thousand pardons of the burgomaster and the other gentleman, for his nephew's eccentricities. They, in reply, would laugh, ascribe such conduct to his youthful spirits, declare they had been just the same in their youth, and admire the young spriogal, as they called him, immensely. In this way the nephew of the stranger came, before long, to be held in high favor in the city and environs. No one could re call over having seen a young man like him in Grunwiesel before; and he was, in deed, the strongest appnration which had ever visited their borders. No one could accuse him of cultivation, of any possible kind, except, perhaps, a little dancing. Latin and Greek were both Greek to him. At a round game at the burgomaster's house, it once fell to his lot to be obliged to write something, and it was found that ho could not even sign his name. In geography he made the most stupendous blunders; fur he made no hesitation in locating a Ger man city in France, or a Danish one in Poland. Ho had rend nothing; he had studied nothing; and the priest often shook his head significantly over the dreadful ig norance of the young gentleman. Still, in spite of this, evelything he said and did was held to be excellent, for ho was impu dent enough to insist always on being right, and the last words of every remark he made were: "I understand this: much better than you." The scones of his greatest triumphs, however, wore the Grunwiesel balls. No one danced so perseveringly, none so vigor ously as ho; no one made such bold, such graceful jumps. Ills uncle dressed him fur such occasions in the newostand handsomest fash'ons, and, although it was impossible to make his clothes fit, yet everybody con sidered his dress charming. The gentle men, to be sure, took offence, at these balls, at the now style which he introduced. I Hitherto the burgomaster bad always ! opened the ball in person, and the most highly-born young men exercised the right of regulating the rest of the dances; but since the young Englishman's arrival, a total change had been brought about. Ile would seize the prettiest girl by the hand without leave or license, take his place with her in the figure, manage everything pre cisely as ho pleased, and constitute him self, without ceremony, lord, master, and , king of the ball. But as the ladies found these manners extremely elegant, the young men dared not venture on resistance, and the eccentric nephew retained unopposed his self-assumed dignity and rank. Such was the behavior adopted by the nephew at balls and parties in Grunweisel. As is too often the case in other matters, bad habits come into vogue much easier than good ones, and a new and striking fashion, especially if it be ridiculous, has ever something in it highly attractive for the young, who have not yet formed an accurate or sensible judgment of themselves and the-world: So it was in Grunwiesel with the nephew and his extraordinary manners. For, when the younger world perceived that the young stranger won more admiration than he incurred rebuke or his awkWard habits, his load laughter, and his insolent answers to his seniors, and that these passed merely as, evidences of his Spirituel nature, they thought to them selves: "Nothing is easier than to make myself exactly such another spirtuel brute." They had formerly been industrious, clever youths; but now they thought: "Of what use is learning, when ignorance conics a man so much further" So, abandoning their books, they spent their time in dissi pation on the streets. Till now, the Grunwiesel young men bad entertained a proper dislike to a rough and vulgar demeanor; now they sang rill sorts of vile songs, smoked huge pipes of tobacco, and spent much time in low pot•houses, for with them they resembled the young Englishman. At home, or on a visit, they lay down in boots and spars on the otto mans; at assemblies they tilted their chairs, or put both elbows on the table, in vain their older friends represented to them how foolish, how disgraceful this behavior was; they referred to the shining ernmple of the nephew. It was said to them, in vain, that a certain degree of rudeness •must be for given in the nephew, in consideration of his English birth; the young Grunwieselo nians declared that they had as good a right as the best Englishman in the world to be vulgar in a spirituel way. In short, it was a general complaint that gentlemanly breeding and behavior had been entirely eradicated from Grunwiesel by the evil example of the young stranger. But the pleasure of the young men, in their rude and reckless life, was of short duration, for the following incident changed the whole aspect of affairs. A great con cert was resolved upon, to close the winter amusements, to be given partly by the regular city musicians, partly by skillful amateurs of Grunwiesel. The burgomaster played the violoncello, the doctor the bas soon, with great skill, the apothecary, though he had no ear, blew the flute, several young ladies of the city had studied arias, and every preliminary had been carefully arranged. The old stranger expressed the opinion, that, though doubtless the concert would be admirable as it was, ho noticed that no duett was included in the pro gramme, and that a duett was, as every one knew, a necessarg element of every concert. This opinion occasioned a good deal of embarrassment. The burgomaster's daugh ter, to be sure, sang like a nightingale; but where was the gentleman who could sing n duett with her? They thought, at last, of falling back on the old organist; who had sung an excellent bass in former days; but the stranger announced that all this anxiety was needless, fur his nephew bad a voice of surprising cultivation and power. The duett, therefore, was studied with all haste, and the evening at leligth arrived, on which the ears of the people of GrUnwiesel were to be enraptured by the concert. The old stranger was unable to be present at his nephew's triumph, in consequence of illness, but he gave to the burgomaster, who visited him during the day, some rules fur the guidance of his eccentric relative.— "lie is a good soul," said he; "but now and then he is seized with some strange notions, and breaks out into the wildest freaks. I regret, extremely, my inability to be pres ent at the concert this evening, for his de meanor is perfectly deeorus while I am by. lle well knows why, the scamp! Let me assure ycur excellency that this vivacity of his is not a mental vice, but merely a bodily infirmity. Whenever, therefore, any such humor seizes him, so that he scats himself on a music -stand, or attempts to knock down the contra-lass, or the like, if your excellency would take the trouble to loosen his cravat a little, or, if nothing better can be done, take it off altogether, you will see how quiet and well-bred he will at once be come." The burgomaster thanked the sick man for his confidence, and promised, in case the necessity arose, to follow his directions to the letter. Part first of the concert was over, and everybody was on the tenter honks of ex pectation fur the second, in which the young Eng,lislaman was to perform a duet with the burgomaster's daughter. The nephew had made his appearance in gorgeous costume, and had long ago drawn upon himself the attention of all present. Ile had thrown himself down, without the slightest cere mony, in the elegant armchair provided fur a countess of the vicinity, and, stretching his legs to their full length, had stared the audience out of countenance through a huge opera-glass which he- had provided in ad dition to his ordinary spectacles, playing incessantly, meanwhile, with a large mas tiff which he had persisted in introducing in spite of the regulations prohibiting all such animals. The countess, fur whom the arm-chair had been provided, soon appeared but the young Englishman made no move ment to resign his seat. On the contrary, be only assumed a more comfortable atti tude; and no ono present ventured to re buke his insolence. The distinguished lady I was consequently obliged to take her seat in an ordinary cane chair among the other ladies of the city, in a state of intense and natural indignation. No wonder, therefore, that everybody was curious to see how lie would succeed with his duet. The second part began: the city musicians played the introductory bars, and now the burgomaster led up his daugh ter to the young Englishman, and, handing him a sheet of music, said to him, "My dear air, are you disposed to begin the duett?" The stranger laughed, showed his teeth, and, springing up, preceeded the two others to the music -stand, while the audience was filled with excitement and anticipation.— The organist beat the time, and nodded to the Englishman to begin. The latter looked at the music through his spectacles a mo ment, and gave utterance to some hideous and melancholy howls; whereupon, the or ganist shouted to him; "Two notes lower, your honor; C;—you must sing C." Instead of singing C, the stranger pulled off one of his shoes and flung it at the or• gnniet't head, making the powder fly in clouds. Seeing this the burgomaster thought to himself: "Ha! his bodily infirmity has got hold of him again;" and, seizing by the neck, he loosened the buckle of his cravat. But, at this, the young man's con duct became more and more outrageous.— Ha dropped the use of German, and con fined himself to an extraordinary and un intelligible language, taking all the while the most tremendous leaps. The burgo master was in despair at this unpleasant interruption to the entertainment, and in stantly resolved to take off" entirely the cra vat of the young Englishman, whom some unusually violent paroxysm mold have sod- $1,50 - PER YEAR IN ADVANCE; $2,00 IF NOT IN ADVANCE OM denly seized. But no sooner had he done this, than he started back aghast. Instead of a human skin and complexion, a dark brown fur enveloped the neck of the youth ful stranger, who instantly proceeded upon still higher and more marvellous leaps: and, twisting his white gloves into his hair, he pulled it entirely off, and, wonder of won ders! this beautiful hair was only a wig, which he threw into the burgomaster's face. and his head made its appearance clothed in the same brown fur as his neck. He overturned tables and benches, threw down music -stands, smashed the fiddles and clarinets, and in short behaved like a lu natic. "Seize him! seize him!" shouted the burgomaster, beside himself; "be is rasing; —seize him!" This, however, was a diffi cult matter, for he had pulled off his gloves and showed his brown hands, arme•l with frightful nails, with which he assaulted the faces of the company. A courageous hunts man at length succeeded in taking him pris oner. He pressed his long arms down to his sides, so that he could do nothing ex cept struggle fiercely with his feet, and laugh and shriek in a piercing :voice. The audience gathered round to look at the ec centric young gentleman, who by this time had lost every semblance of a human being. Among them, a learned gentleman of the environs, who possessed a large collection of stuffed animals, approached him and, after a close examination, suddenly ex claimed, "Good God! ladies and gentlemen, why do you admit this beast into good so ciety? This is an ape, the homo triglodities Linna , i, and I will give you six dollars fur him if you like and stuff him for my cabi net." Fancy the astonishment of the citizens of Grunwiesel, when they heard this. "What! an ape, an orang-outang in our beat society! The young Englishman nothing but a filthy ape!" They stared at each other in dumb bewilderment. They could not believe it; they would not believe it; they would not trust their eyes, and they examined the an imal more narrowly; , but, gaze as they pleased, a vulgar ape he was, and a vulgar ape he remained. "It must be sorcery, devilish, si—eel.y?" said the burgomaster, bringing the ape's cravat. "Look? here in this cravat lies the' witchcraft which has blinded our eyes.— Ilere is a broad strip of parchment, in scribed with strange characters. It is Latin I believe; can anybody read it?" The pastor, a man of extensive learning, who had often lost a game of chess to the young Englishman, stepped up, and, looking at the parchment said, "Certainly, this is Latin, and means: • Phis ape 14 0 very• ridlealnwe creature. A lid to see through and shun false p retensi,ns tt•Ill teach "Ay, ay, it is nn infernal swindle; in itself a species of witchcraft," he continued "and should meet with exemplary punish• mut." The burgomaster was of the same opin ion, and started forthwith to arrest the stranger, who could be nothing but u. magi cian. Six soldiers carried the ape, for they were determined to bring the old scoundrel to instant trial. They reached the desolate house, followed by a crowd of people, for every one wanted to see how the affair would end. They knocked at the door, they pulled the bell; but all in vain—no one showed himself in answer to their appeals. The burgomaster finally caused the door to be beaten in, and mounted to the sick man's chamber. Noth ing was to be seen but old, worthless house hold rubbish. The stranger had vanished. On his writing-table, howeter, lay a large. sealed letter, addressed to the burgomaster, which the latter opened. He read: "31v DEAR. GRUNIVIE9EIMSJANS: When you read this I shall be no longer in your village, and you will have discovered the rank and nation of my darling nephew.— Take the joke which I have ventured to play upon you as a good lesson not to inast on inflicting your society upon a stranger, when he wishes to live in retirement. I felt myself too well-bred to Le involved in your eternal tattle, your bad manners, and your ridiculous customs. I procured, there fore, the young orang-outang, whom you have caressed so affectionately, to act as my substitute. Frewell, my friends, and lay this lesson to heart." The citizens of Orunwiesel were the laughing-stuck of the whole country, and felt intensely mortified. Their consolation was, that all this was brought about by su pernatural means. But the greatest con fusion wee felt by the young men of the city, fur they had made the bad !canners of the beastly ape the object of their ap proval and imitation. Henceforth they ceased to lean their elbows on the table: they balanced themselves no longer on their chairs; they were silent till addressed, and became modest and civil as of old; and it became a byword with the Orunwieseloni- IMP, when any one showed signs of relap sing into such vulgar and ridiculous! Timed ces, to call him "the old gentleman's ape." Tha orang-outang, who had played so long the part of a gentleman of fashion, was handed over to the proprietor of the cabinet of natural history. This 'gentleman feeds him, gives him the run of his yard, and shows him to every stranger as a great rarity; and there Le is to be seen to the present day. RIM.FROIt OCR NEW Dic-rtostssr.—Dog stealing "in the second degree"—booking sausages. [WHOLE NUMBER, 1,491. Trom the N. Y. Spiro. of the TIMMS The Cunning Buck of Twelcepole. I had to transact some business at the County Surveyor's, and so I mounted my horse to ride there. I had just passed the ford, and was riding over the gravely shoal between the islands, when I heard a horse splashing its way through the water behind me. So soon as it struck the shore, I re cognized the noise of the hoofs, and knew it to be Turkey Slather's clay bank mare. which had a peculiar and original gait, cu riously compounded of pace, trot and thufle. So I drew rein and waited. "G wino over to &audy, ole hour" in quired Turkey, as he joined me. "Them Marrowbone fullers allowed you'd bin over thar long afore this. Bur'! Chaffin' was alio' fur you 3-isterday. lle sed he hadn't hearn tell uv you, much less clapt eyes on you for over two munthq. I tole him you'd staid so long in tuwu you'd dried up, au' that last high wind had jest Wowed you off down Govan." ••I intend to go over to Marrovrb nes shortly, Turkey; but to-day I am only going up the creek a little way. Aro you off for home?" "Certingly. I've drunk the last drop there was in town, an' ye don't see me back, ontwell they brings in a few more uv them pooty blue-headed bar'ls. Nyste stuff, too. they hoops in 'em—warranted to kill every pop—sure in ucry dose, from one to twenty —an' misses nary time. whether you take it X.lverend or mixt. El I wasn't proof agin o' vitril, and akky fortis, an' struoknine, I'd a bin dead long ego. An' that 'mines me that 1 hey a nose sarious affair on han'. I kin tell you somethin' whooteh don'toccur freekwently. The father of inequity, 010 Satan hisself, is in Logan county, an' uses princip'ly on the main fork of Twelve Polo —l'm dog zoned of he don't. "How so, Turkey?" "You 'member me to lin' you, t'other day, how I'd seen the tracts uv the moso auda ciousest, biggest, bustinest, kine uv buck, at the head uv the cane patch holler, ferent Billy Ivinses' narrow bottom field?" "I think I do." "Well, that's him—that's Satan on four legs. Olil you need'idquerl the corner uv yer mouth, an' twist the baird on yer upper lip! He's this; an' so strong that our sirkit rider could'nt:preach hint down in tqmonth. Yes sir?" Let us hns'e the particulars, Turkey? "Yer see," continued Turkey, "the fust time r noticed sign ur that buck was about a fortnight ago. I was gwia,a up a dry branch one day, in the cane-patch holler, lookin' for some two year olds, whootch hed'nt conic down to saltite an' sposed had stayed outen range. I had my rifle along, for I allowed to git a leetle deer meat; an' as I come high up the in muting, over agin Browning's' jest as I arrir at the top shelf, I seed the master sign uv deer. I sez to myself, of that ain't as bigan as elkyou kin kill me with a stock of boss weed, ate I am to have his hide. 1 flower seed nothite like it afore. I drapt all notion of the cattil an' followed the trail. Well, it led 'me, slentin' like, clean through a gap, an' then down uv the ridge an' down a locust holler, on Twelve Pule side—the snakiest plaint you over seed. I reckin I must her seairt up about two hundred copperheads, an' as f.r rattlesnakes—well, they was nu merous. You could jest hear em rattlin' all the way down like rain-drops on a new shingle ruf. Inert I got down to the water the sign giv out. I crest over the evict, an thar was the same sign agiu'—only it pinted int/ter tray. "Two icor had met, and joined each other in the crick," said I. "That was my judgement," replied Tur key, "an' thars whar I was fouled. You ice, I thought this buck had met the doe— ; an' she was a Crowder, toe--an' the psr'uv them had tuck the water, an' seeio' the sip' pinted that way, had gone down stream. I jest went up an' down that stream for one level hour, an' could'nt coo no sign nowhar on either bank. Whar the two had tuck theirselfs to, was too shoal for my kunnoo. I lookt TOUT) . an' I debit-ted on the affair, ' and I come to the conclusion, that I could'nt come to no conclusion about it—onless the par or animals had flew off, or lep clean over the mounting at one jump. So I give it up at long last, an' went hunting the whootch I foun' up to their eyes in n ferren pastor, an' I driv"em within range. "Well, you may know that the whole 1 affar was cur'ous, an' pestered me mightily, an' I could'nt sleep that night thiukin' about it, an' nes.' day I sez to Larisey, gwine to look up that buck, or the par uv 'cm, as the case may be, tin' mebbo I'll sample his gizzard with sixty to the pours'.' An'-sez Lavisey, 'You won't find any diffi kitty, I reckin', for there's three yincbes more snow on the group' las night, an' all fresh sign 'ii be mighty plain.' So arter breakfuss, I tuck an' put in a splinter new flint—you know I nuvver kerry none uv them fool 'cussiun guns—an' I started. "I tuok down the main crick a spell, an' then up a drain, an' follered the ridge fur about two mile. Tereckly, on the low gap, whar a. branch uv the Trace Fork heads up, I sees the sign deep in the snow. It led clar down to the Trace, an' I crest thar,, lookin' to see it on t'other side. Thar iI wnz, shore enough; but like it was before, pynting lath: way. I allowed, nv course, as I done afore, that the buck had been jioed by Lie mate, an' from the way the e;gn come, both had gone down stream. I