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SAMUEL WRIGHT, Editor and Proprietor.
VOLUME XXVIII, NUMBER I.]
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING.
'Office in Northern Central Railroad Corn-
Er . any's Building, 21,0ra - west corner Front and
[Walnut streets.
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Rates of Advertising.
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three weeks,
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three weeks, 1 00
each subsequent insertion, 25
Larger advertisements in proportion.
A liberal discount will be made to quarterly, hal_
yearly or yearly advertisers,wbo are strictly confined
to their business.
DR. S. ARMOR,
I_IOMTOPITHIC PIITSICILIN. Office and
Residence in Locust street, opposite the Post
°time; OFFICE PRIVATE.
Columbia, April 25, 1857-13 m
Drs. John Ar. Rohrer, '
APE associated in the Practice of ,lied
Hclue.
Col umbia, April Ist, 18584 f
DR. G. W. MIFFLIN,
DENTIST, Locust street, opposite the Pos
Office, Columbia, Pa.
Columbia. May 3, 1856.
H. M. NORTH,
TTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
Columbia, Pa.
Collections, promptly made, in Lancaster and York
Counties.
Columbia, Ma•:
4,1850
J. W. FISHER,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
ColumbiaC2Seca-uocribizt., Pct..
,September 6, 1.756-lf
GEORGE J. SMITH,
WHOLESALE and Retail Bread and Cake
Baker.—Constantly on hand a vanety of Cakes,
too numerous to mention• Crackers; Soda, Wine, Scroll,
and Sugar Biscuit; Confectionery, of every description,
tee., Sc. LOCUST STREET,
Feb..2, , 56. Between the Bank and Franklin House.
B. ALPPOLD & CO.,
mm
GENERAL FORWARDING AND COMMIS
diaeaSlON MERCHANTS, SA L,
RECEIVERS OF
COA LA ND PRODUCE,
And Deliverers on any point on the Columbia and
Philadelphia Railroad. to York and
Baltimore and to Pittsburg;
DEALERS IN COAL FLOUR AND GRAIN,
WHISKY AND BACON, have just received a
large lot of Monongahela Rectified IVhiskey, from
Fattsburg, of which they will keep a supply constantly
on hand. at low prices. Nos. 1, 2 and 6 Canal Basin.
Columbia, January 27.1854.
0 ATS FOR SALE
By TILE BUSHEL, or in larger qnantitics
at Nos. 1. 7 2 & 6 Canal Basin.
B. F. APPOLD & CO.
Columbia, January 26, JEW
Just Received,
5 n BUS. PRIME GROUND NUTS, at J. F.
v SMITH'S Wholesale and Retail Confectionery
establishment, Front street . , two doors below the
Washington house, Columbia. [October 25, 1956.
Just Receive&
2
0 SUDS. SHOULDERS, 15 TIERCES HAMS.
For sale by U. F. APPOI.D & CO..
Nos. 1, 2 and 6, Canal Basin.
Columbia, October 18,1650.
Rapp's Gold Pens.
CONSTANTLY on hand, an assortment of
these celebrated PENS. Persons in want of a
good article are invited to call and examine them.
Columbia, June 30, 1855. JOHN FELIX.
Just Received,
LARGE LOT of Children's Carriages,
Gigs, Rocking Horses, Wheelbarrows, Propel.
ere. ornery Swings, &e. GEORGE, J. SMITH.
April 19, 1856. Locust street.
riFIINA and other Fancy Articles. too numerous to
V mention, for sale by G. J. SMITH, Locust street,
between the Bank and Franklin !louse.
Columbia, April 19, 1856.
THE undersigned hare been appointed
agents for the sale of Cook & Co's GUTTA PER-
A PENS, warranted not to corrode; iu e laslicity
they almost equal the quill.
SAILOR & ItIcDONALD.
Columbia Jan. 17, 1857.
Jut Received,
A BEAUTIFUL lot of Lamp Shades, viz: Tie
torine, Volcano, Drum. Butter Fly. Red Roses
and the new French Fruit Shade, which can be see,
in the window of the Golden Mortar Drug Store.
November 29, 19.56.
ALARGE lot of Shaker Coro, from the
Shaker settlement in New York. Just received,
at H. SUYDAM do SON'S
Columbia, Dec. 20,1656.
HAIR DYE'S. Jones' Batchelor's, Peter's and
Egyptian haw dyes, warranted to color the hair
any desired shade, without injury to the skin. For sale
by R. WILLIAMS.
May 10, Front it., Columbia, Pa.
FIRE dr. TROMPSOIn justly celebrated Com
mercial and other Gold Pens—the hest in the
market—just received. P. SHREINER.
Columbia,April 29,1855.
EXTRA FAMILY FLOUR, by the barrel, for
sale by 11. F. A PPOLD & CO,
Columbia, Ju no 7. Nos. 1,2 and 0 Canal Basin.
WWI should any person do without a Clock
when they can be had Co r 81.50 and upwards
At SHREINER'S?
Columbia, Aril ^..8,18555
SAPONEF[ER, or Concentrated Lye, for ma
king Soap. 1 lb. is sufficient for one barrel of
soft Soap or 11b.for9 lbs. Hard Soap. Full direr•
lions will be given at the Counter for making Soft,
Hard and Fancy Soaps. For sale by
R. WILLIAMS.
Colombia, March 31,1855.
ALAUB lot of Baskets, Brooms, Buckets
Brushes, &c,, for sale by H. SUYDAM & SON.
WEIKEL'S Instantaneous Yeast or Baking
Powder, for sale by H. SUYDAM & SON.
a DOZEN BROOMS, 10 BOXES CHEESE. For
z sale cheap, by B. F. APPOLD & CO.
Columbia, October 25, 1856.
A SUPERIOR article of PAINT OIL. for sale by
R. WILLIAMS.
Prom Street, Columbia, Pa.
May 10,1E50
JUST RECEIVHD, a large and welt selected variety
of Brushes, consisting in Part or Shoe, Heir , Cloth.
Crumb, Nail, list and Teeth Brushes. and for Kate by
R. WILMA MB,
Front street Columbia. Pa.
March 22, '5O
ASUPERIOR article orTONIC SPICE BITTERS,
suitable for Rote Keepers, for sale by
R. WILLIAMS.
Front street, Columbia.
May 10,1858
FRESH ETHEREAL OIL, always on hand. and Co
sale by R. WILLIAMS,
May 10,16.56. Front Street, Columbia, Pa.
TEST received, FRESH CAMPHENE, Paid for sale
tr by R. WILLIAMS.
May 10,1856. Front Street, Columbia, Pa.
10 00 " s ' Ner City Cured Herne and Shoulders,
Just received and for sale by
Feb. 241857. SUYDABI & SON.
tirfstrg.
The Birth-day of Agassiz
[The following lines by Longfellow, were written in
commemoration of the fiftieth birth-day (May 28. 1857)
of the distinguished naturaligt, and were read among
friends at a birth-day dinner, which they will long keep
in fresh remembrance ]
31 50
It was fifty years ago,
In the pleasant month of May,
In the beautiful Pays de Vaud,
A child in its cradle lay.
And Nature, the old nurse, took
The child upon her knee,
Saying, "Here is a story book
Thy Father has written for thee.,
CEI
"Come wander with me," she said,
'lnto regions yet untrod,
And read what is still unread
In the manuscripts of God."
And he wandered away and away,
With Nature, the dear old nurse,
Who sang to him night and day
The rhymes of the universe.
And whenever the way seemed long,
Or his heart began to fail,
She would sing amore wonderful song,
Or tell a more marvellous tale.
So she keeps him still a child,
And will not let him go,
Though at times his heart beats wild,
For the beautiful Pays de Yawl;
Though at times he hears In his dreams
The R anz des Vaches of old,
And the rush of monntain streams
From glaciers clear and cold;
And the mother at home says, "Hark!
For his voice I listen and yearn;
It is growing late and dark,
And my boy does not return!"
Somebody
Somebody's courting somebody,
Somewhere or other to-night.
Somcboby's whispering to somebody,
Somebody's listening to somebody,
Under this clear moonlight.
Near the bright river's flow,
Running so still and slow,
Talking so soft and low,
She sits with somebody
Pacing the oceates shore,
Edged by the foaming roar,
Words, never breathed before,
Sound sweet to somebody.
Under the maple tree,
Deep though the shadow be,
Plain enough they can sec—
Bright eyes has somebody
No one tits up to wait,
Though she is out so late—
All know she's at the gate
Talking with somebody
Tip-toe to parlor door—
Two shadows on the floor—
Moonlight reveals no more—
Susy and somebody.
Two, sitting side by side,
Float with the ebbing tide.
"Thus, dearest, mu y we glide
Through life," says somebody
Somewhere, somebody
Makes love to somebAy,
To-night.
grirrtivto.
My Daughter's Marriage.
BY ALPHONSE SANET.
Every ono has heard of the tulip mania of
Holland. When at its height the precious
bulbs were known to fetch one hundred thou
sand francs apiece, till at last the Dutch gov
ernment thought it expedient to interfere.
Nevertheless, for many a day every new va
riety obtained by cultivation excited the
greatest enthusiasm.
In the centre of green meadows studded
with populous villages, many-colored plea
sure-houses and wind-mills, and intersected
by canals along which ships pass in full sail
as on the ocean, stands the city of Harlem,
the capital of North Holland. A villa, just
outside this town, was, about the close of the
last century, the residence of Mr. Deckers.
The house, built in the form of an Indian
pagoda, and covered with green tiles glist
ening in the sun, stood on a little eminence
in the centre of shady gardens, where distant
views had been contrived with infinite care.
The gardens were planted with exotic trees,
and watered by an artificial river that mean
dered among the fragrant groves, through
which the eye would glance now on a Tar
tar kiosk made of bamboos, then on a Chinese
pavilion painted in bright colors and sur
mounted by its bat and bells, and then again
on a rude cabin such as are built by the hlo
lucca Islanders.
To this place Mr. Deckers had retired on
the death of his wife, leaving his business
to the management of his son; and here, from
morning to evening, during the fine season,
he was busy with his men sifting the soil of
flower beds, watering and ticketing his tulips
of which •he boasted to have the finest col
lection in all Holland.
One warm afternoon in the month of June
1785, Mr. Deckers, standing in the centre of
a dressing room hung with garnet velvet
and richly furnished in the style of the time,
was giving orders to some half dozen lackeys
who, hurrying about with a bustling air,
were finishing his toilet. It was easy to
' divine that he was preparing for some im
portant business. In fact, his son was now
old enough to marry, and his ambitious
father was on the point of going to solicit
for him the hand of Miss Van Selkirk, the
daughter of a banker ut Harlem. Mr. Van
Selkirk, the father of the young lady in ques
tion, was one of the most influential persons
in the country, for in addition to the parti
ciple Van which he placed before his name,
he was mayor of the town, banker to the
stadt holder, manager of the affairs of the
India Company, and extremely rich. -
An alliance with this family had been for .
some time the neplus 2t/tra of the ambition
of Deckers. For years past he had spared
neither money, pains, nordiplomacy to bring
the affair to a favorable issue, and we leave
the reader to imagine his delight when he
was at last informed that Van Selkirk,
charmed by the personal qualifications of,
the young man, had made an appointment
to meet the father that very day at four
o'clock, to come to an understanding on the
matrimonial business.
After calling for his gold snuff-box and
gold-headed cane, and getting his ruffles and
shirt frill perfumed with vanilla, the old
gentleman tucked his cocked hat under his
arm, and, followed by two footmen in full
livery, directed his steps along his garden
walks towards a pretty gondola inlaid with
colored wood, and manned by six lusty
rowers, which was in waiting at the foot of
the steps of the white marble landing place
beside of the artificial river. The boat shot
away like an arrow, preceded by a runner,
who, wand in hand, trotted along the bank;
it glided through the windings of the river,
and on coming to the spot where it joined
the Harlem canal, the running footman
opened the gate that closed the entrance,
and the boat went on towards the town.
An hour after, Mr. Deckers, having land
ed, walked through the streets of Harlem
preceded and followed by his attendants,
and returned the salutations on either hand
as he passed, until, on coming to one of the
narrow streets near the market, he suddenly
stopped in an ecstacy of delight before a
low, wooden house with a first floor pro
jecting over a lower one, and having all its
outside joists embellished with beautiful
wreaths sculptured by some artist of the
sixteenth century. But it was neither the
architecture of the house nor the ornaments
on the joists which attracted his admiration;'
for his eye was fixed on the ground floor oc
cupied by the shop of a shoemaker named
Peter Schwartz, as announced by a sign
board over the door. In the winduw of this
shop—a window glazed with round panes
of green glass having knobs in the centre
like the bottom of a bottle—stood a Japan'
flower-pot, in which, waving on its delicate
stem, was a superb semi-double tulip, whose
glossy pearl-gray petals were relieved by
arabesques of the brightest carmine; and it,
was because this tulip, superior in beauty
to any possessed by the wealthy amateur,
was a new variety, that Mr. Deckers stop
ped. How could such a treasure have got
into the shop of the artizan? Forgetting at
once the flight of time and the object of his
walk, he entered the shoemaker's shop and
inquired where he had obtained that tulip.
"Ah, ald Mr. Deckers," gayly exclaimed'
Schwartz, on hearing this question; "that
astonishes you, eh? Well, then, it is one of
my own raising."
"Of your raising!"
"Why not? That is a specimen of what
I can do."
"But what is the use of such a flower to
you? These, I fancy, would be far more
serviceable," and he drew a handful of gold
coins from his pocket and laid them un
counted on the shoemaker's stall.
(Ildrpres Weekly
"So, so! a few pieces of gold for a flower
uniquo in the world!" repled Peter; "in
deed you are too generous, and I am bound
to thank you very much."
"Are you dissatisfied with the amount? I
will quadruple the sum."
".No! my tulip is my own, and I won't
sell it."
"Come, say how much you want, for I
must have the flower, cost what it may."
"Well then, it depends on yourself wheth
er you have it or not!" And laying down
his work, ho took the millionaire by the
hand in a most mysterious manner, and
then putting his forefinger to his lips to re
quest silence, he led him to the end of the
dark shop; when there ho cautiously open
ed a door which turned noiselessly on its
hinges, and raised the corner of a tapestry
curtain which was drawn before the en
trance. Mr. Deckers saw a. small room hung
all over with tapestry similar to that before
the door, and furnished with a degree of
richness most extraordinary for an artizan's
dwelling. Through the lead-trellised win
dow of the little apartment a gay sunbeam
had just found its way and glistened on the
gold and enamel of some jewels laid on a
what-not, throwing as it passed a warm
mellow tint on the flaxen hair of a young
maiden, so intently engaged with her needle
that she neither saw nor heard anything of
the interloper.
"Well! what say you to that?" asked Pe
ter Schwartz, as lie let fall the curtain, with
the air of a miser closing the entrance to his
hoards.
"What a lovely creature!" answered Mr.
Deckers, for a moment forgetting the tulip,
so absorbed was he in this charming vision.
"Well," said Peter, "that is my only
daughter; she and my tulip are my two
treasures, and one shall not go without the
other."
Ms guest took one of the oak stools that
stood in the shop, and sat down on it with-
out saying a word, to hear what the shoe
maker meant.
"You, Mr. Deckers, continued the latter,
"have a son who is old enough to marry,
and the angel you have just seen will soon
be nineteen years of age. Now, present
your son to my daughter, and if the young
folk are pleased with each other, let us
marry them; this tulip shall be my child's
wedding portion."
Mr. Deckers, on hearing this proposal,
bounded from his seat and rushed out, giv-
"NO ENTERTAINMENT IS SO CHEAP AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING."
COLUMBIA, PENNSYLVANIA, SATURDAY MORNING, JULY 11, 1857.
ing the shoemaker a look of ironical con
tempt. But Peter, without being at all
moved, continued with a significant shake
of the head.
"Yes, Mynheer Deckers, you may take it
or not, as you please; and let it also be
clearly understood that your son must be to
my daughter's taste, for her happiness is
my :thief object."
On leaving the shoemaker's shop, Mr.
Deckers suddenly remembering the object
of his journey, pulled out his watch; but as
he saw that the appointed hour had long
past; instead of going further he went back
to his country house. Yet all along the
road, and the whole evening, the memory
of Peter Schwartz's tulip was uppermost in
his mind, and all night he did nothing but
dream of these rival flowers.
Some twenty years before, Peter had es
poused a young woman of remarkable beau
ty; but, two years after their union, she
died of a fever, leaving her husband and a
a little girl some six months old.
The poor man, usually so gay, was well
nigh mad from grief; but on beholding in
the cradle the poor little creature which had
no friend in the world but himself, he check
his tears, and thenceforth loved the child as
a man loves the only object that can hence
forth be dear to him.
One fine Sunday in spring, the shoemaker,
as he was walking with his daughter, then
seven years of age, on the plains lying round
the town, chanced to find a bulb which was
beginning to grow. Curious to see what it
might be, he picked it up, and planted it in
a little garden behind the house having a
fine southern aspect. The root flourished
wonderfully, and proved a tulip of the rich
est colors. Any other man in Peter's posi
tion would have hastened to sell the flower
to some wealthy amateur, who would readily
have given a hundred of florins for it, as it
belonged to one of the finest of known vari
eties.
But Peter looked further, and perceived
that he might ultimately derive much great
er advantage from it; from that day forth he
cultivated his Japanese plant with all possi
ble care. He gathered the seed, and sewed
it in his little garden, till after years of toil
and patience, he at last found among his
plants a specimen altogether different from
the mother-flower, and finer than all known
species; and this was the precious specimen
which he was so proud to display in his shop-
window.
In the midst of the busiest part of Harlem
stood the warehouse of Deckers & Co.; and
here, on the next day, was Mr. Wilhelm
Deckers.
Now, instead of being a short, stout, red
faced fellow, like most of his countrymen,
Mr. Wilhelm was a tall young man, whose
long hair, handsome moustache, and mouth
a la Vandyke, presented nothing of the Dutch
man of that day; he was the suitor for whom
Mr. Deckers had resolved to solicit the hand
of Miss Van Selkirk. Not that the young
man cared much about the match, for having
studied at the University of Prague, he had
passed a great part of his youth in Germany,
and had contracted the love of the beau ideal
common to the German poets, so that he pro- '
fessed but very moderate admiration for the
substantial charms and ruddy complexions
of his country-women; nevertheless, hie fath
er had so often told him that a man in his
position could not remain a bachelor, and
needed domestic enjoyments, he had so often
and so highly extolled the charms, the for
tune, and the advantages to be obtained by
a marriage with Miss Van Selkirk, that the
young man had consented to please him by
marrying.
Suddenly a messenger in his father's livery
entered the warehouse, announcing to Mr.
Wilhelm a visit from his parent.
Nearly at the same moment the boat, en
tering from the branch canal, was impelled
by its lusty rowers into the crowded basin,
and glided through the fleet of merchant ves
sels, where everybody was eager to salute
the lordly Deckers as he passed. On learning
his father's arrival, the young man hastened
to receive him, but the cx-merchant, having
already landed, strode on, muttering to him
self, and not heeding the salutations of the
crowd, so absent was he. "Dishonored,"
said be to himself, "quite disgraced, if any
rival should get possession of that flower!"
"Ah! good-day, father," said Mr. Wilhelm
to him, approaching and taking his hand;
"how do you do?"
Then without awaiting an answer to this
usual question, he drew his father's arm
through his, and turned towards the dwelling
house.
"Well! now! father," gayly exclaimed
the young man, when they had entered a
charming little study decorated in Chinese
style, and with windows of colored glass, set
in a complicated trellis work of lead, to im
itate the woden lattice ornamented with
transparent shells, which replaces colored
glass in the boudoirs of Pekin. "What suc
cess in your matrimonial mission yesterday?"
"Wilhelm, my lad," began Mr. Deckers,
somewhat embarrassed, "are you seriously
in love with Miss Van Selkirk?"
"I—not the least in the world, for I have
never seen her."
"Would you not rather have some one of
less wealth, but far superior in beauty?,'
"What! have you not told me a thousand
times that Miss Van Selkirk is incomparably
beautiful?"
"Ugh! Ugh! that depends on tastes. Cer
tainly I am far from saying that banker
Selkirk's daughter is destitute of charms,
but perhaps you would think her somewhat
stout."
"In that case, my dear father, let us say
no more about her."
"That is precisely what struck me, and
therefore I thought of solieting for you the
hand of a person of admirable beauty, and
who will please you, I am sure."
"You are of my opinion that a man pos
sessing fortune like ours can marry to his
fancy; consequently, provided the lady is
well educated, and I find her to my taste,
no matter about her dowry."
"Well said, my boy, for fortune does not
make happiness; go and dress yourself, and
I will present you to her immediately."
"But, what a hurry you are in! to-morrow
or nest day will be early enough, won't it?"
"To-morrow may be too late, for such a
treasure must have plenty of admirers."
Mr. Deckers had evidently tamed down
his pride finely since the day before.
"Well, let us go, as you so much wish it;
I shall be ready in ten minutes."
Half an hour after, father and son had
taken their seats under the richly embroider- 1
ed flag of the boat, and the pretty skiff, still
preceded by a runner on the bank, glided
like an arrow along the grand canal towards
the market-place.
On the 10th of July, 1785, the town of
Harlem presented the gayest aspect; all the
vessels moored along the canals had their
many colored flags ,raving in the sun; cooked
viands, beer, and gin, had filled the hearts
of the poor with gladness; sailors, porters,
and fishermen were walking about in their
holiday suits; there were sports on the water,
canary-bird singing snatches; in short, the
whole population were rejoicing over the
marriage of Wilhelm Deckers with the Shoe
maker's fair daughter. On the evening of
the same day. Messrs. Deckers, father add
son, left the residence of Peter Schwartz,
each bearing away one of the artizan's trea
sures, for if the young man carried off his
fair bride in a close chair, the old one took
under his arm the inestimable tulip, in ex
change for which he had thrust two hundred
thousand florins among the wedding presents.
On the ground of being the owner, Mr. Deck
ers was afterwards anxious to impose his
name on the precious plant, but of what
avail is even the will of a millionaire against
tradition? The old gentleman's baptismal
pretensions were soon set aside, and, in spite
of him, the pretty flower has always retained
the name of MY DAUGRTER'S MARRIAGE.
Sut Lovegood's Shirt
The first one I met was Sut, (after cros
sing the Iliwassee,) weaving along in his
usual rambling, uncertain gait. His appear
ance at once satisfied me that something was
wrong. He had been sick, whipped in a
free fight, or was just outgrowing one of his
big drunks. But upon this point I was
soon enlightened.
"Why Sut, what's wrong now?"
"lleap's wrong; durn my skin of I hain't
most dead. Lite off'n that ar' hoss, George,
and take a horn while I take two, (shaking
that! everlasting flask of his at me,) and
plant yerself on that ar' log, an' I'll toll ye
if I ken, but it's most beyont tellin'. I
reckon I'm the durndest fool outen IJtaw,
'cept my dad, for he acted boss, an' I hain't
dun that yet —alters in sum trap that cudn't
kech a sheep. I'll drown myself sum day,
see of I don't, jest to stop a family dispersi
tion to make d—d fools on themselves."
"How is it, Sut, have you been beat play
ing cards, or drinking which is it?"
"Nary one; that can't be did in these
parts; but seein' it's you, George, I'll tell
you; but I swar I'm 'shamed—sick—sorry
—and—and—mad, I am."
"You know I boards with Bill Carr, at
his cabin on the mountain, an' pays for sich
as I gets when I hew money, an' when I
heven't any, why he takes the one third
eve it outen me in cussing; an' she, that's
his wife Betts, takes out Vother two thirds
with the battlin' stick, and the intrust with
her tung, an' the intrust's more'n the prin.
cip'l—heap more. She's the cussedcst wo
man I ever saw anyhow, fur jaw, breedin',
and pride. She can scold a blister onto a
bull's face rite on the curl in two minutes.
She out breeds ev'rything on the rover—an
patterns after every fashun she hears tell
on, from bussils to breeches. Oh! she's one
of 'em, an' sumtimes she's two or three.—
Well ye see I'd got sum homemade cotton
truck to make a new shut out on, and
coaxed Betts to make it, an' about the time
it wur dun, hero kums Lawyer Johnson
along an' axed fur brckfast—l wish it had
pizened him, durn his hide, an' I wonder it
dident, for she cooks awful mixens when
she trys. I'm pizen proof myself, (holding
up his flask and looking through it,) ur I'd
been ded long ago.
"Well while he wur a satin', she spied
out that his shut was stiff an' mity slick, so
she never rested till she had wormed it outen
him that a preparation ov flour did it, an'
she got a few perticulers about the perceed
ings tu, outen him be 'oman's art—l don't
know how she did it, perhaps he dus. Arter
he left she sot in an' biled a big pot of paste,
nigh on to a peck uv it, and souzed in my
shut an' let it soak awhile; then she tuck it
and ironed it out flat an' dry, an' sot it np
on its edge agin the cabin in the sun. Thar
it stood as stiff as a dry hose hide, and it
rattled like a sheet owe mum, it did. It wur
pasted together all over. When I cum to
dinner, nnthin wud du but I must put it on.
Well Betts an' me got the the thing open
arter snm hard puffin', she at one of the
tails an' me at tether, an' I got into it.
Darn the everlastin' newfangled shut, I say.
$1,50 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE; $2,00 IF NOT IN ADVANCE
I felt like I had crawlt inter an old bee-gum
Sit full or pis -ants; but it wur like old Law
yer Johnson's, an' I stud it like a man, an'
went to work to build Betts an ash-hopper.
I worked powerful hard an' swet like a hose
an' wen the shut got wet it quit its hurtin'.
Arter I got dun, I tuck about four fingers
ore red eye, an' crawled up into the cabin
loft to take a snuze.
"Well, when I waked up I thot I was dal
or bed the colery, for all the jints I cud
muve wer my ankles, wrists, and knees—
cudn't even move my head and skasely
wink my eyes—the cussed shut wur pasted
fast onto me all over, frum the pint or the
tails to the pint ove the broad axe collars,
over my years. It sot me as close as a poor
cow dos her hide in March. I squirmed
and strained till I got it sorter broke at the
shoulders an' elbows, an' then I dun the
durndest foolishest thing ever did in these
mountains. I shuffled my britches off and
tore loose from my hide about two inches
ov the tail all round in much pain and trib
ulation. Oh! but it did hurt. Then I tuck
up a plank outen the loft an' hung my legs
down trough the hole, an' nailed the edge
of the front tail to the edge of the floor be
fore, and the hind tail I nailed to the plank
what I set on. I onbuttoned the colter and
wristbands, raised my hands way up above
my head, shut up my eyes, said grace, an'
jumped through to the groun' floor."
Here Sut ruminated sadly
"George, I'm a durnder fool than ever
dad was, Hess, Hornets and all. I'll drown
myself sum ov these days, see of I don't."
"Well, go on, Sut, did this shirt come
off?"
"I—think—it—did. I beam a noise sor
ter like tarin' a shingle ruff off ore a house,
all at onst, and felt like my guts and bones
wur all that reached the !lure. I staggered
to my feet an' tuck a luck up at the shut.
The nails bed all hilt their holt, and thar it
wur hangin' arms down, inside out an' as
stiff as ever. It looked like a map ov Mex
ico jist arter one #e the wust battles—a
patch ove my hide about the size ore a dol
lar and half bill here; a bunch of my liar
about the size ore a burd's nest thar; then
sum more skin; then sum paste; then a lit
tle more har; then a heap ove skin; then more
bar; then skin; and so on all over that darn
ed, new-fangled, everlastin, infernal cuss ore
a shut. It were a picture to look at—an' so
were I. The hide, liar an' paste, wur about
ekeally divided atween see and it. Wonder
what Betts, durn her, thought when she
dum home an' foun' me missin'. Specks
she thinks I crawled intu the thicket and
died ov my wounds. It must have skeered
her good, fur I tell you it looked like the
skin of sum wild beast torn off alive, or a
bag what bed kerriod a load ove fresh beef
from a shootin match.
"Now, George, of I ever ketch that Law
yer •Johnson out I'll shoot him, an' if ever
an'oman talks about fiatnin' a shut for mo
actin, darn my overlastin' pictur of I don't
flatten her. It's a ritribution sartin, the
biggest kind of a preacher's regular ritribu
tion. Du yu mind my drivin' ore dad throu'
that ho'net's nest, and then racin' ore him
inter the creek?"
"Yes."
"Well this Is what comes ove it. "I'll
drown myself sum ove these days, see of I
don't, of I don't die from that orful shut.—
Take a horn, an' don't you ever try a sticky
shut as long as you live."
"Advice," Gratis
A lawyer residing in Ithaca, New York, and
enjoying an extensive practice, is desirous
of emigrating to San Francisco. He thinks
the climate would suit him, and knows his
wife would be delighted with it, for she says
so. His only hesitation in starting at once
arises from the provident fear, that sufficient
patronage might not be secured to maintain
himself and family. To be better enabled
to decide, he addresses a letter to the editor
of the San Francisco Golden Era, through
the recommendation of a friend, and con
cludes it thus:
I have been in the profession since IS3O,
hare a large library, and would like to be
assured of business enough for a fair living.
You can doubtless inform me—
Ist. Whether the business is flourishing or
otherwise, and whether the profession is
over stocked?
2d. What board is at first-class hotels or
boarding houses?
3d. What would be the rent of a dwelling
house and office?
4th. Any information generally that would
be appropriate?
Your attention to this will oblige.
Very truly, yours, BENJ. G. FEnnts.
To which the Era man responds that ho
handed the note of Mr. FERRIS ton facetious
Lyeurgns, who, like himself, was once the
owner of a "good library," but is now a por
ter in Front street, and in three days receiv
ed the following in return, covering very sat
isfactorily all the points of inquiry:
"Inquiry First—Thanks to the three thou
sand lawyers in:San Francisco, 'the business
is flourishing.' Some twenty-five of the
profession manage all the legitimate legal
business in the city, while the remaining
twenty-nine-hundred and seventy-five live
by treating strangers to fighting whiskey, 1111
superintending their conveyance from the
gutter to the station house, and defending
them before the Police Court the next morn
ing for two dollars and a half. One such
case per month is considered a 'flourishing'
practice, although some of the more energetic
have been known to secure as high as two
in a week.
[WHOLE NUMBER, 1,406.
"Second—Board for a family of five or six
at a first-class hotel may be had for three or
four hundred dollars per month. This infor
mation can be of little importance, however,
to a lawyer. Such of the profession as do
' not take their chances at the lunch tables,
or 'ranch' themselves, invariably 'board'
round, like a country schoolmaster, and aro
kicked out at the end of the week upon refu
sing to settle. This i. practised for the dou
ble purpose of living without cost, and pros
ecuting landlords for assault and battery in
Looting them out of the house.
"Third—This question need not be an
swered. Ica lawyer cannot swindle a land
lord out of a year's office rent, when once in
posession of the tenement, he is ignorant of
the first principles of his profession, and can
not du otherwise than fail in Sun Francisco.
"Fourth—The only items of 'general infor
mation' to be imparted are, that the idea of a
lawyer paying board or office rent is an ab
surdity; that instead of a library, he must
provide him.elf with an armory of Bowie
knifes, pistols and slung-shots, that the safest
way for a lawyer to proceed in San Francisco,
who expects a 'fair living,' is to commence
practice with seventeen thousand dollars in
cash, and leave the country as soon as he
reaches the bottom dollar."
The Indignant Boy
A youth about 16 years of age, named
Richard O'Neil, was arrested and brought
before the Police Court, yesterday forenoon,
charged with stealing a bottle of wine, valu
ed at 50 cents. The case excited consider
able attention from its magnitude, and some
half a dozen fledgling lawyers volunteered
in his defence, but the lad has probably
read the papers, and know that a young
limb of the law always managed to get his
client in the State Prison, the House of
Correction, or else heavily fined, so he re
jected the offers with lofty disdain, and ex
pressed his intention, in a whisper to Offi
cer Ingalls, of "going in and winning."
O'lsireil is as sharp featured as a child
weaned on vinegar, and appears about as
bright. Ile seemed in excellent spirits when
his name was called by the clerk, and in a
loud, and distinct tone declared that he was
not guilty of the crime alleged. Officers
were called to testify in the case, and their
evidence seemed conclusive; but the Judge
thought a few questions by the prisoner,
not inappropriate, and accordingly he was
allowed to ask them.
"Will you swear that I took the bottle?"
asked young vinegar of the °Meer, who
arrested him.
"I found the bottle on you," was the reply.
"Will you swear that it was wine in the
bottle?" asked Richard, with a sardonic
grin.
_
The officer turned pale, stammered, and
was evidently confused. The boy saw his
triumph, and his grin was expanded into a
horse laugh, that was promptly suppressed
by the officers of the Court.
"That's a pretty witness." sneered Rich
ard; "I'm accused of tcaling a bottle of
wine, and yet I'd like to see the first proof
of the charge. Get down, spoony, leave the
police, and go into the rum business."
The Court rebuked such shocking levity,
and inquired of the youngster whether he
had drank any of the wine which it was
alleged he had stolen.
"I beg your pardon, sir, but what did you
ask me?" inquired the prisoner, earnestly.
"I wished to know if you drank any of
the wine?" repeated the Court, blandly.
For a space of five minutes, the boy look
ed at the Judge, apparently too astonished
to speak. At length his haughty bearing
gave way—he turned from the bench, and
with his head bowed upon his breast, burst
into tears, and sob after sob disturbed the
stillness of that gloomy court room.
"What have I said to wound your feel
ings?" asked the Judge, in a mild tone.
"I don't mind being accused of stealing
the wine," said the boy, digging his knuck
les into his eyes, and trying to speak free of
sobs. "In fact, I did take the bottle, but to
think that I should lira to be suspected of
drinking a drop of d—d fifty cent wine is
more than I can bear. Send me to prison
now, and I wont object."
Instead of a prison, ho got fined $5 and
costs, and the last our reporter saw of him,
he was trying to induce Officer Ingalls to
to hold his jacket while he went round the
corner and got the money.—Boston Herald.
Ilow To AVOID BLIND PERSONAL.—Sher.
idan Knowles beingadvised by Sir E. Bulwer
Lytton to read Gibbon's Decline and Fall, in
order to get a good plot for a new play he
had engaged to write, went, in his übtial
im
pulsive manner, immediatly sub,cribed to
Saunders & Otley's public library. Paying
I
down his subscription for three months, ho
walked away. Being on the eve of going
into the country, he did not take any books
then, but on his return to London, nearly
four months afterwards, ho called and asked
for the work in question. The clerk looked
over thenames, and said, "Your subscription
has expired, sir; I cannot let you have any
books until you have paid for another quar
ter in advance." The wrath of tile Irish
dramatist was roused, so he soundly rated
the clerk, declaring that "Saun lets C Otley
were a couple of swindlers:" One of the
partners hearing this came forward, and re
proached Mr. Knowles for his personal insult.
"Personal, my dear sir." said the wit, "not
a bit of it—if you are Mr. Saunders, damn
Mr. Otley; if you are Mr. Otley, damn Mr.
Saunders; I would not be personal for the
world:" The partner smiled at the felicitous
retort and put Knowles on the free list.