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SAMUEL WRIGHT, Editor and Proprietor.
VOLUME XXVII, NUMBER, 41.1
.PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY UM.
, .
oce in.2 l / 4 foratern antral Frtaroad Cont.
avw. ' s AR/ding, nortk-ewt airier front and
.nut-streets.
Terms of Subscription.
/One Copy per annum, if paid In ndrance
•• " if not paid within three
.tnonths from commencement of the year, 200
C7oza.tai a. Clopyr.
tflo nribaeripttort received Co' a lees time than six
inunthr sad nopaper will be di/continued until all
Narreari:ges are paid, unless at the option of the pub
-4 EV-blonry may be remitted by mail at the publish-
Rates of !Late:tieing.
screate V tines) one week,
three weeks,
each subseceent insertton, 10
1 0 •• [I2 roes) one week, .00
three weeks, 1 00
_ _ each subsequent Insertion 06
....Latffor advertisement" in proportion. "
littoral dineount will be made to quarterly, half
lowly eryollirly advertiser:Al/rho are strictly cot:armed
to iheip_bannesa..
DR. S. ARDIPR,
TIONIEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN. Office and
Ite•iilence In Locust skeet, opposite the Post
021cei. OFFICE PRIVATE.
Columbia, April 25, 1557.0 m
- • Dr& John .& Rohrer,
Ijiir E associated In the Practice of *di
f ui;Lift, April'tn. /850- t 1
...
DR. G. W. MIFFLIN,
DENTIST, Locust street, near the Post Of-
See. Columbia, Pa.
Columbia. May 3, 1836.
IL M. NORTH,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
Columbia, Pa.
Collections, promptly made, in Lancaster and York
Counties.
Coluattsin, May 4,1950.
J. W. FISHER,
Attorney. and Counsellor at Law,
atz32.11cd."., Won..
Comd Cloli mi. tkeptroniper ti, 16:A-11
GEORGE J. SMITH,
WHOLESALE and Retail Bread and Cake
Bak cr.—Constantly on hand a variety of Cakes,
eloonurneroun to mention; Crackers; Sala, Wine, Scroll,
avid Sugar Biscuit; Confectionery, of every description,
Ae., Le. LOCUST STRF.ET,
Feb. 2,'56. Between the Bank and Franklin Home.
ALPPOLD & CO.,
GENERALFORWARDING AND COMMIS
MIRENASION MERCEIANTS,
RECEIVERS OF - •
COA. LAND PRODUCE,
And Deliver'eri on any point on the Colombia and
Philadelphia Railroad. to York and
Baltimore and to Pittsburg.;
DEALERS IN COAL; FLOUR AND CRAIN,
WHISKY AND BACON, have just received n
dame lot of Monongahela Rectified Whiskey, from
,Pittaharg, of which they will keep n supply constantly
•on hand, at low prices, Nos, 1, 2 and IS Canal Basin.
Columbia, January 27.1854.
OATS FOR SALE
BY THE BUSHEL, or in larger quantities,
at Nos. 1,2 11.. 6 Canal Basin.
B. F. APPOLD & CO.
Columbia, January 26, 1956
Just Received,
50 BUS . PRIME GROUND NUTS, at J. P.
SMITIrs iVhole.ate and Retail Confectionery
emablishment. Front street, two doovt below the
Waabington Mope, Columbia: [October 55. 1556.
Just Received,
20 inao. 4 .SIIOULDEFtS, 15 TIERCE; HAMS.—
For sale by D. F. APPOLD h CO..
Nos. 1, 2 and 6, Canal Basin.
Columbia, October 16, E 356.
Rapp's Gold Pens.
CONSTANTLY on hand, an assortment of
these celebrated PENS. Perenn. in want eta
Bond article are invited to call and raninlne Iberia
Columbia, June 30, 1855. JOHN FELIX.
Snst Received,
ALAIN LOT of Children's, Carriages,
Gi g s, Rocking R OM., Wheelbarrows. Prem.:-
Urytery Swings, &c. GEORGE, .1. SMITII
April 19,19.56. Locust greet.
rinmA nna other Fancy Articles. too numerous to
V mention, for Pale by G. .1. SMITH, Locust street,
between the Mink and Franklin House.
COlombia, April 192 Ma.
TINE undersigned have been appointed
agent. for the-snle oreoolc & Co', GOTTA PER-
O A PENS, warranted not to corrode; In e luslieny
thty almost-twat The quill.
SAYLOR & McDONALD.
Colombia Jan. 17, 1857'
Just Received,
& BEAUTIFUL lot of Lamp Shades, vim Tie-
Aim Milne. Volcano. Dram. Dauer Fly, Red Rote.,
and the new French Fruit Shade, which can be seen
in the window or the Golden Mortar Drug Store.
November 29,1856.
AMR lot of Shaker Core, from the
Shelter settlement in New Yolk, list received,
Irt H. SUYDAM tc SON'S
Colombia, Dec. 420,1850
HAIR BYE'S. Jones' Batchelor's, Peter's and
Egyptian hair dyes, warranted to color the hair
any desired shade, without injury to the skin. For sale
by 11, WILLIAMS.
114ay Front at., Columbia, Pa.
& THOMPSON'S *My celebrated Com
atercial and other Gold Pen•--the heat in the
Parket—lam received. P. SHREINER.
Columbia, April 59,1955.
•
TIXTRA FAMILY FLOUR, by th e barrel, for
Jul sale by B. P. AP OLD & CO,
flambia,June 7. Nos. 1,2 and 6 Canal DOP,III.
WHY should any person do without a Clock,
at SH
when tbey can be had for $1,50 N
and leewad*.
REIER'S?
Colombia, April 29,1955
QAPONEFIER, or Concentrated Lye, for ma
king Soap. 1 lb. la aulfteient for one barrel of
Soft Soap, or tib.for ft lbs. [lard Soap. Pull dim e
gotta Wilt be given at the Counter for making Soft,
"Hard and Fancy Soaps. For sale by
R. WILLIAMS.
Columbia, Numb 31,1E10
A LARGE lot of Baskets, Brooms, Dockets
ktru•het. Acs„ for ante by H. SUYDAM & *ON.
WFIKEL'S Instantaneous Yeast or Baking
Powder. for sale by H. SUYDAM & SON.
/ DOZEN BROOaIB, noxrs criersn. Tor
sale eheup, by b . E . APPOLD do CO.
Columbia, October 93.
A SUPERIOR article of PAINT OIL.
ILfor s c ale by
Front S/ree
Wll t, ColumLlbia, S.
Pa
May 10, IPSG
1 UST RECEIVE D, a large und well selected variety
of llrwthes. eon.isting in Pen of Shoe, Hair, Cloth.
rush. Nall, fiat- and Teeth Bre.hes, Red for .steisg
n•
Trout 'greet COIUMbh.
- Mara 22, 72;
-
Asupgßiog orroxic SPICE lIITTE/I.S.
Pultable for Hotel Krspent. for Pale by
R. wn.l.lAms,
Miy 10,1656. rrpnt otreet.Colonono.
341RESII ETHEREAL OIL, always on band. and fo
- este by R. WILLI A litte.
Iley 10,1966. Proof Street, Colombia, Ps. :
:MST Teo' lived, FRBIBM cAmruivere.. •wed for ado
0_75 R. WILLIAMS,
tssd. scout street. Colcurditc "Pd. -
:f1 Q it s crl74.%fgr,..r4
e end Sboaldera,
Fb. 21' • StirpAbl SCpt
Illttrg.
For the Columbia. Spy.
Freedom, Washington, and America
I=
St 50
Let Freedom from her God-built tow'r
HO loudest elaritm blow,
And urg'd by Herorn's eternal poorr,
To further conquests go.
'Unfurl her banner to the skies,
Let foreign nations know,
That freedom is the highest prize
Columbia can bestow.
*vas
Her principles of axiality fame
Our independence spread,
And bade them blaze in stavbright fume,
Around each freansatii head; r •
The deep.toned tirade+ of hewn ;site
leOnea loud liosalunota,
Wberahostsof freenfeis sliellatjoicis •
To raise the heaWnlyseitind.-
Still may our glorious Haim stand, • -
To bid our eagle soar
Above this blest end fax tamed sand,
Till time shall be no more;
Let sovereign states, by righteous laws,
Each other's rights maintain,
And glory in Columbia", cause .
Where Freedom's God shall reign.
Then should a dark and daring foe
Our peaceral rights invade,
His blood, in vengeance, soon would flow
On Freedom's reeking blade;
Though hosts of traitors might combine
To tear ourstandard down,
The Stars and Stripes would brightly shine
Above their darkest frown.
Should foreign kings, with trumpets loud,
Blow the red stotm of ♦car,
And blood-stained despots. grimly proud,
Ride in their crimson car;
Their triumphs, black as midnight storms,
Would swiftly puss away,
And all that gild their ghastly forms—
Diwith their sleeping clay.
But Freedom! still with glory crown'd,
Her staedeek'd bead would raise.
And freemen, boldly circling round,
Would sound her highest praise;
The honours of her deathless name,
While rolling ages run,
Shall wreathe with ever-during fame
Columbia's favorite sou.
Ile stood on victory's hard fought field,
Amidst his S.partan band,
And made earth's proudest nation yield
Where Freedom gave command;
Great Britain's lion roar'd alound
As our bald eagle rose,
When Washington, in valor proud,
Bad conquer'd foreign foes.
His starry banner still shall wave
O'er river, sea and chore,
Till Freedom ransom's every slave,
And tyrants reign ma more;
Hosannas then shall , roll
Where law and order reign,
And rulers, o'er earth's mighty throng,
Shall legal rights maintain.
Religious truth shall brightly shine
From the pure Gospel word,
And nations own the pow'r divine
Of Freedom's sovereign Lord;
Found principles In every land
Shall break the captive'e chain,
And as it falls at Cod's command,
My heart shall say AMEN.
gtlertirotis.
The Child's Coin
Irr SAUCE& C. ITARREN, ESQ
I was comingl erne one night from attend
ing a patient who resided at Hendon, and
who promised not to be long for this world,
when as I crossed a stile that led me into
the high road, alter making which I had a
near cut across some fields, I heard words
of contention between a man and a woman.
It was an autumnal evening, and twilight
was fast disappearing, yet there was suffi
cient to enable me to distinguish the figures
of two persons, who were too . intent upon
their quarrel to see me as they passed the
stile, particularly as I paused and drew
back a little.
"You shall carry it," cried the man with
a brutal oath, "you shall carry it. I know
well that if I don't take care that you have
a good hand in it, youwill be poaching upon
the whole affair one of these days. Carry
it—curses!"
"Ohl John, John, I am ill—so ill."
"I'll be hanged. Come on: It's an ex
cuse. You don't like to carry a coffin, but
shall."
am faint, John. Ido not know
what it is that has come over me, brit—l—l
am very faint and ill. Oh! if this shotild be
some judgment of God. Oh! John, John,
let us repent."
"Silence, will you? D—,n it—how do I
know but some one may be listening? Give
me the coffin. Confound you, won't you
come on? • I wish I bad the buying of your
own . coffin, instead of the child's. Come on
will you? What, will you lie down, will
you! Take that, then."
I heard a blow or a kink given, and I
commensed whistling with all my might, as
I tramped on after them with a quiok stop.
This had the effect of stopping any further
violence, and all was still till I reached the
spot where the mart and the woman were.—
The latter was upon the ground. 'sir - bile the
man had an odd shaped bundle of something
on his shoulder, which was so well disguised
that if I had not, from their previous ecm
versatinn, known it was a coffin, teertainly
should not Ip.ye at 41 recognized it as so
dismal an object.
"4 tine -everting," I 544 !'nellotti (+Fa
t-Wing amidst"
"Oh dear--God ,bless you—no sir." said
the toast in a oantitig voice; "tits TOM be
good to us-zoo sir. -.ft's my wife, him -bar
hnrrt—ehe'ed little dream- so. that's all.-_-
Como old Itsmari/gef:ip, the Loid•wi help
The oU 11:(enstu sititirglea to het feet end
tottered on with Orgitlty.
"NO ENTERTAINMENT IS SO CHEAP AS READING, NOR ANY PLEASURE SO LASTING:"
COLUMBIA, PENNSYLVANIA, SATUR-DAY MORNING, JUNE 27, 1857.
"Good evening, sir," - said the hypocritical
scoundrel; "good evening sir; I thank you,
sir."
"Oh, I'm going your way," said I
Ile paused a moment
"Oh," he said, "to Hampstead, sir, I sup
pose. Come, old woman, keep up. Think
of the Lord and cheer up."
"Partly to Hempstead," I said, "and
partly not. It's a bracing night, ain't it?
I have come across tho fields and don't
know much about here. Is that a public
house?"
"Yes sir, that's a resort of sinners called
the 'Bull and Bush.' Ahl sir, if people
would think of their immortal state it would
be bettisfsr . Why—why, old woman,
1
you eie.t.get on. bear, dear; the- Lo
But for. the offered assistance of my arm
the woman must havo . fallen. Dias as the
light was, I could see vexation depicted
upon the man's face; and he shifted the cof
fin first to one shoulder' and then to the oth
er, to see if he could not help the woman
without me, but that I took good care not
to let him do, and I said:
" she seems ill, indeed. I will help you
to your own door if you are not going far."
"But we are going far," he said, "the Lord
willing."
"Oh, well," I replied, "never mind; I have
plenty of time."
There was no such thing as getting rid of
me without a quarrel, and that he seemed
to be afraid of; so we all walked on in si
lence for some distance down a dark turn
ing, then down another, until we stop
ped at the door of a cottage, when he said:
"Good night, sir—good night. We are
at honie now. Good night. The Lord be
with yoU, sir."
"Amen," said I, "good night," and away
I walked at a brisk pace, never once looking
behind sue for nearly a quarter of a mile;
and then I turned and ran back swiftly on
my toes, for I felt a strong conviction that
something was wrong, although I had no
direct clue to what it was. I had taken suf
ficient notice of the cottage to reach it with
out any difficulty, and in a few minutes—
rather out of breath, I admit—l stood be
fore it. "
It was one of those cottages with a door
in the centre, and latticed windows at each
side, but there were shutters to the windows
on the - inside, which provultirigfacrprevent-:
ed me from getting a glimpse; and there I
stdodlaricying there was some secret within,
but totally unable to find out what it was.
I fancied too that I heard the murmur of
voices, and resolving not to be foiled, if pos
sible, I made my way to the back of the
cottage, where there was a garden, and
thence into a kind of scullery or wash-house.
There was a window exactly the level of my
eyes, and I at once saw into a room, where
a scene was going on,- which transfixed me
with horror and amazement.
The man and woman were both in the
room; on the chair was placed a small, com
mon, rough looking child's coffin. At the
moment that I looked into the room, the
woman was upon her knees, with both hands
uplifted, as if in supplication, while the man
stood over her, with his fists clenched, and
in an attitude as if to strike her.
"Ohl John, John," she said, "you know
be is not dead. .John, have moray—Nave
mercy. Do not do it. Ohl God, God, do
not let him do itl"
"Peace, fool—peace, I say, or you will
tempt me to silence you most effectually.—
Gbt the child—get the child."
"dohn, John, it only sleepsno, it is not
dead. Ohl God, oh! it is not dead, John.—
You know I got the laudanum from Mr.
Spragg, and you gave it. Ohl no, no, no.—
You cannot, now that it is come to the point,
put the living child into the coffin. It will
wake—it will recover. " Ohl—oh!—oh! kill
me first."
. "But you consented. You know you con
sented: and when Mrs. Blanchard left you
the twenty pounds, and said that she'd - not
be back from France for a year, you con
sented to make away with the brat."
"I was mad."
"YOu are mad now. But if you won't
get the child, I will. It won't awaken till
it's under the ground in the morning, I'll bo
bound; and then it don't matter. We have
n't killed it, after all. - Didn't we send for
Mr. Spragg, and didn't he look at it and
say it was dead?"
"No, no, John; Mr. Spragg came, but be
never went into the room where the child
lay. YoU know he did not."
"What is that to you? .Confound you, the
coffin's too small or you should get into it
as well!' Oh! you won't leave go, won't you?
We'll soon Bee about that. Take what you
deserve!"
A blow struck her down, . and then ho
stepped to a little bed that was in the'room,
and took from it what looked like a. sloop
ing child, and claimed it into the coffin.—
His wife recovered sufficiently to see what
he was about, - and clung to his knees,
shrieking. Ho struck her with his disen
gaged band, and commenced putting on the
lid of the coffin. I ran round the • house,
and snatching up a stake, was about todash
in one of the windows, but I stayed my hand
for I thought I might do better.
fqolie, John, johnl" I shouted, "a gen
tleman wants you at the - Bull and Bush, di
metly."
I hid myself instantly, and in about a
minute the door opened, and the fellow ap
peased, shading the light with his hand.
"What's that? What's that?" be cried;
"Who wants me? Mr. Lane, is it? Eh?
Who called? I—l must have only fancied
it, and yet it was so plain. Confound it!—
I could have sworn it. Mc& mind."
Ile closed the door againiliut I was not
disposedsto give him any peace. He had
given me a hint upon which I acted.
"John, John," I cried again in a loud
voice; "John, Mr. Lane =sits you at the
Bull and. Bush directly."
"Who the devil is it?" li`i,said, coming
to the door again in a moment; "where are
you? Mr. Lane, did you say? I'll come of
course, directly."
Re went into the cottage.is 3 guessed, to
say something to his wife;,siacl:thon la half
a minute came out -.with,/vi I;'*--,san,-azut
walked oT in the direction' 61 , the 'Public
house I had named. I did not hesitate a
moment; but went to the dOor and rapped
at it. As Laid so, I found that it yielded
to my hand, being merely placed close with
out fastening; so I went in at once, and
passing throUgh the first room, reached the
inner one, where the woman was whose
compunction for the deed she had consented
to, had brought upon her so much ill usage.
She was on her knees by a chair, with her
face hidden in her hands.
"Woman!" I said.
She sprang up with a cry of terror, and I
laid my hand upon the coffin lid, which I
saw was nailed down. With my other hand
I pointed upwards.
"God," I said, "has seen this• night's
work."
She shook for a moment or two, and then
fell into a swoon at my feet with a heavy
dab, as if she had been a corpse
A hammer and chisel lay on the next chair
to that which held the coffin, and my first
care was to wrench open the lid of the death
like receptacle, and rescue .the child. The
woman never moved, and a thought struck
me which I at once carried into practice.—
I recollected having seen some loose bricks
in the yard, and dashing out, I got four of
them, which I laid in the coffin. They filled
it well, being rather jammed in. I then
fastened the lid again as I had found it;
and taking the child in my arms, I darted
from the cottage, closing the door behind
me, and ran on towards Hampstead.
I had not gone far before I met a woman,
to Whom I said:
"Wu you know, where Mr. Spragg, the
medical
man lives?"
"Why, Lor' a massy," she said, "you're
only just passed his blue lamp. May I make
so bold as to ask, sir, what you—"
"Thank you, that will do" said I; and I
darted over the road to a house where there
was a blue lamp, sure enough, indicative of
the dwelling of Mr. Spragg.. , I should not
wonder but that I rang rather violently, for
Mr. Spragg's bell handle came off in my
hand; and when a servant appeared, she had
quite a terrified look.
"Is Mr. Spragg at home?" I said.
"Ye—ye—yes, sir. Ire is at home. But
if it's accident, Mr. Spragg would rather
not have anything to do with it. lie don't
like accidents and low people, and advises
an 'ospital."
I pushed the servant aside, and. made my
way into a parlor, where sat an effeminate
looking young man over bis tea and muffins,
"Good Godl" he said, what's that? I—l
really— If it's an accident go to some gen
eral practitioner. I only attend to ladies—
a—a--"
"You area fool," said I; "I ana a physi
cian. This child is suffering from the effects
of a narcotic. Get some nitric acid directly
or else I'll have you transported as nn ac
cessory, as sure as you are born—for you
sold the laudanum."
"Trans—port—edl Good Grodl I could
not live without cold cream, and they don't
allow that, I think. You are a physician—
a—a— My dear sir, what do you think is
the very best dye for whiskers , that have a
—a tendency to get a little rod?"
I was amazed and mortified to Bnd• such
an ass in the profession.
"Hark you, sir," 1 said, "there is my card;
and if you don't assist medirectly in what I
require, as sure as you are a living man I
will have you prosecuted as an accessory in
the attempted murder of this child."
He was thoroughly stunned. The. sight
of my name on my card, - perhaps, gave him
a turn, and ho at once brought the proper
mstoratives for the child, and began blubber
ing, and crying, and bogging I would not
blame him.
"I know the child," he said; ,'Mrs. Bi ggs
had it to nurse. It's true they 'bought some
l au d an um of me, but John Biggs said Ulm
for the toothache. He didn't mention the
child's name—by Gad ho did'nt. Oh, it's
coming round! Look, look!"
The' child opened its eyes, and at thafrno
meat I felt such a gush of joy that I had
saved it from the horrible death' intended
for it that I could not speak to Spragg for
several minutes.
I rose and made Spragg assist me in giv
ing the child exercise. An emetic too,
brought it round wonderfully; and in halt'
an hour I had, the inexpressible , pleasure of
seeing a little sweet rocking fellow, of about
throe years of age, sleeping gently upon
Spragg'e sofa. By the bye, Spragg never
loft off crying and holding =eau-do-cologne
bottle to big nose.
Sprag,g; don't you go crying in that
way,'.' said f; "you are only a fool."
"Thank you, sir—l am. Ohl dear, yos."
"Who and winger° the people with whom
the child was?"
"Very religious, sir. lira 'know
what John Biggs was. He is nearly kept,
I have heard, by Mr. Lane, a very religious
gentleman, who has prayer meetings. They
told me, sir, the child was to be buried in
the yard of Hampstead church at twelve to
morrow."
"Very well. Now, I rather think I have
not done enough to alarm the Biggs', and
that the funeral will still take place."
"Still—still. Bless me, doctor, you dont
mean 7I
"I then related to Spragg all that had oc
curred, and how I had fastened up the coffin
again while Mrs. Biggs was insensible, so
that the probability- was that neither she
nor her husband Would think' it luid been
disturbed-
•'What I wish," said I, "is to 'see if that
woman will repent and male an attempt to
sate the child; or after all, let the funeral pro
ceed; so all I want you to do, Spragg, is to
tale the greatest care of the child until I come
to you in the morning, and to keep the whole
transaction profoundly secret."
"But I must tell Julia."
"Who is Julia?"
"Ohl my—my servant. I always tell her."
"Oh! indeed. Call her in then; I must
judge how far she is to bo trusted. Shall I
ring?"
"No—no, stop. I—l always call her.—
Julia dont like to be rung for. Julia—Ju
lia. A—Whom! Julia!"
"Stop," I said. "I perhaps might trust
you; but I wont trust Julia. Just tell her
to get me a post-chnise, if she can, and then
you need make no explanation at all. I will
take the child with me.
"You needn't," said the servant, opening
the door; "I have heard it all, and will take
care of the child. Mr. Spragg, I'm quite
ashamed of you."
"Of me, Julia? Ashamed of your own
Spreggy-waggy? Oh, dear]"
I laughed in spite of myself.
"Julia," I said, "you will greatly oblige
me, and I shall be here to-morrow morning
at half-past seven o'clock precisely."
The reader may be quite sure that I was
upon the following morning quite punctual
at my friend Spragg's when I found the
child, to.whom both he and Julia had paid
the greatest attention, perfectly recovered.
"Now," I said, "the church will he open;
and what I want you to ,do, Mr. Spragg, is
to watch there until I call fur you, with the
child. There is no time to lose—so go at
once. As I tell you, I think the funeral
will take place."
"I know it will," said Julia.
"I ndeedl"
"Yes. I went to the Biggs' cottage,. sir,
after you left there last night, and listened
at the door. I heard Biggs say in a loud
voice, "You have been dreaming, woman.
No one has been here. Look—here is the
coffin all nailed down as I left it. 'Open
it—oh! open itl' she cried; and then he
swore fearfully,. and replied, 'The worms
will open it by degrees in the churchyard.' "
This was quite conclusive, and just as I
expected it would be; so I paoked off Sprngg
with the child at once, and followed myself.
It only wanted ten minutes to twelve when
we reached the sacred edifice, and Spragg
went inside; while I, seeing an individual
with a white kerchief at the door, said to
him:
"Is there any funeral this morning?"
"Two," he said; "Mr. Bumpus is to be
buried, and a child is to be put in the same
grave, by leave of nrs. Bumpus, who is
quite convinced the child is respectable."
"That's very liberal of Mrs. Bumpus," I
said.
"Ohl very, very," he replied, without at
all perceiving that I intended paying Mrs.
Rumpus a. very ironical compliment indeed.
At that moment I saw John - Biggs slink
into the church-yard.
"Who is that awn?" I said
"I don't know, sir. I think he is one of
Mr. Lane's set. They don't belong to the
church: Prayer meetings, you know., sir.
and all that sort of thing. Very, very bad,
sir. Nothing like the regular parson and
the regular service. But here comes Mr.
Rumpus."
A funeral cavalcade wound its way in at
the church-yard gates, and almos s t
immedi
ately following there came a man with a
child's coffin on his shoulder, followed by
one woman—that woman was Mrs. Biggs.
I could not see what sort of expression was
on her face, the mourning hood she wore
entirely covered it, but I could see that she
shook and staggered so much as she walked
as to be scarcely capable of getting on along
the church -yard path.
I carefully kept out of her way, for she
had seen me, although her husband had
not.
There was a subdued sort of bustle in the
place as the coffin containing the remains
of the respectable Mr. Burapus was brought
to the edge of a deep grave. The clergy
man made his appearance, looking as solemn
as possible, and the funeral service began,
amid whispers among tho friends of Mr.
But:apes, of what a very respectable man
he was, and how sad a thing it was that be
should go so soon, &e.
'The service was cOnClnded, and then I.
who stood nearly behind the parson to
screen myself from 'Mr's. Biggs, heard the
clerk whispericig to hiin:
"I beg your pardon, sir, but if you please,
there's a child to be put in the same grave,
through the kindness of Mrs. Bumpts."
•'Oh! very well. - The child•wnl be con
sidered included in the prayer."
$1,50 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE; $2,00 LE NOT IN ADVANCE
The elero-vman turned aside, and one of
the grave diggers said:
"Where is the-child's coffin?"
"Here," said Biggs, and he handed it
into the grave. I stepped ,up and cast a
handful of earth upon it.
"Dust to dust," I said; "ashes to ashes."
"No, no;" shrieked Mrs. Biggs, throwing
off the insignia of mourning; "no—no—
help save the child—oh, God, save it. It is
not dead—it only sleeps. Have mercy, mer
cy, mercy. Are you all sticks and stones?
I say - the child sleeps only—it is not the
sleep of-death. Break open the coffin—save
it.. Help, help. God—illd , God. - Air—air—
WM
She felbinkrthe artaiterritisd.tby ,
standers, and her husband made a...rush to
wards her with a knife in - his hand I had
just time to•put out my foot in his way, and
he fell headlong into the grave.
It i 4 impossible to give anything like an
idea of the general scene of confusion that
now ensued. The people seemed to be panic
stricken; and it was not until I raised my
voice to a high pitch that I got a hearing.
child is saved," I said, "Mr. Spragg
come forth."
Mr. Spragg, with the child in his arms.
made his appearance from the church. lie
was as white as a sheet from fear, but the
moment Mrs. Biggs saw his little compan
ion she stretched forth her arms, and an
expression of great joy- came across her
face. She tried to speak, but nature was
overcome—she fell a corpse upon the mound
of earth by the aide of the grace.
* , *
Biggs was transported for life; and I had
the happiness of restoring the child to its
mother, who was found by advertisement,
for• Biggs would not tell her address. As
for Mr. Spragg, I think the whole affair
had a very beneficial effect upon him, for
now and then that I afterwards encountered
him, he was not above half as ridiculous es
he used to be.
The Social Tread Mill
NO. V.
"Of course it has occurred to you, 11.
Punch, what a benefactor of his species that
man would be who should leave a large for
tune to 'found and endow a College for
Cooks. - When I consider the science and
art that must combine in a good Cook. and
the gross ignorance and presumption of
most persons assuming the titlo, I am aston
ished that some benevolent individual has
not thought of establishing a Normal School
of culinary instruction, where the whole
round of the scienco might bo taught, from
the boiling of a potatoe np to a dinner of
three courses.
"There might be periodical examinations
by skilled persons fur each department of
study. A Board of Irish examiners for
potatoe-boiling, one of London Aldermen for
turtle, and so forth. There might be cook
lists, like university class-lists—with ordi
nary degrees. and honors and medals. The
Cooks' College should not be a place for
educating cooks with a view to domestic
services, hilt a normal institution, from
which highly qualified culinary teachers
might be planted all over the country—each
the head of a local culinary school. It
should be compulsory on every girl of a
certain age, to have attended for a certain
time at such a school. I do not know that
I should make the production of a cercitionte
of such attendance a legal condition pre
liminary to marriage, and impose a heavy'
penalty, on the clergyman who united any
young woman in holy matrimony without
such certificate.
"It stands to reason that the instruction
in these National Cooking Khools, should
differ for different classeS. There should
be the poor-man's wife couyse—the soup
and-fish-every-day, or thousand•a-year course
—and so upwards. A young woman on
entering would be entered fur 'the course
appropriate to her station in life. Sn there
would be a special curriculum for those
who aimed at qualifying themselves for
coooks' places. But all women ought to
have a certain minimum of culinary know
!edge, and thereon I would inslat cm the
certifier:to in all cases.
"I really thin:: the =an wir, first endcws
such a Cooks' . College, awl The minister
who first introduces such a compulsory sys
tem of national culinary education, will
each deserve a statue—l beg pardon—will
each deserve—not to have a statue, but—to
be commemorated in whatever form we
may succeed in de‘ising that is not both'
ugly and ridiculous.
"But after all, bad cookery is the worst
that cooks have to answer fur. There is
undoubtedly a lamentable amount of bad
cooking—in other words,- of discomfort s in
digestion. and waste—in this country. But
the remedy for this lies in a great degree
beyond our own power. Indeed, until the
far-sighted patriot arises to found my culi
nary college. I do not see my way to any I
very general elevation of the standard of
our cooks,
"Bad dinners, flowerer. depend on some
thing very different from bad cookery.
.In
deed. there may be very bad dinners with
very good cookery, and even very good din
ners occasionally with very, bad cookinz.—
I call every dinner a bad ono when the peo
ple have been invited for any other princi
ple, reason than because their boat likes
them, andiiliked by them; where the - mit , -
treas of 'the house is fidgety,.or the master
of .the • house uncomfertabfin where the
vests are too many for the table,-or the
ENVIIOLE NUMBER, 1,404,,
servants not enough for the , guests; wilier.-
, in an establishment mounted on the Jeg-c:=
mutton-scale, I am treated to two eouisc,
and champagne; where a variety of wine,
are handed round, but the glasses only half
filled; where a pine-apple 13 put on the ta
ble at - dessert and carried away uncut;
where the plate comes from the pawn-bro
kers, the entrees front the pastry cooks, or
the waiters from the green-greed 's round
the corner; where a thousand a year iv
made to do duty for five. or where five t,ho.:-
sand narrows itself to the -proportions of
cue. In short, every dinner is n bad on
which is out of keeping with the bens? /.1,
which it is eaten; and I grieve to lay, tha;
- ther-psoporticu _of such dinner: to tho'totri
number consumed LAlden is very great
indeed.
"Condemned though I be to the Social
Tread-mill, I am of a cheerful disposition,
and gay in the intervals of my punishment.
Yet into how many drawing rooms -do I en
ter, in fulfilment of solemn dinner obliga
tions, where chilly constraint and cowanil!. -
ceremonial lay leaden weights -on me - and
every soul present! Why, when I dine
with the Rotoos, do I pull off my natural
ness and my cheerfulness-with my paletot,
and draw on a certain starched and "con
strained self with my white - gloves? .Why
is the quarter of an hour before dinner in
that house so much longer than any other
hour in the day elsewhere? Why - do wo all
fall desperately to talking of the weather?
Why; but that we are one and all conscious
of some unreality, or inconvenience, or
humbug, or incongruity in our being thus
assembled. There is Bladebone, the bar
rister, with a growing family and a decreas
ing- practice, thinking what .a nuisance it is
to have to pay for the fly which brought
himself and Mrs. B. to the hospitable di2or.
There is Mrs. B. scanning Mrs. Flaunter'l
new glace silk, and wondering whether the
bill is settled at Howell and - James's.—=-
Flaunter—who was in the Guards, but soft.
out on his marriage, and is now on the
Turf, and in difficulties—has his head full
of judgments, cognovits, and odds, and bills
coming due, and I 0 t's. 'Alt, you're a
happy fellow,' he sighs to Mr.•PettnYboy.
the city magnate, as that distinguished capi
talist gives him the particulars of a remark
able rise in the sixth new company he has
become the director of this year. Penny
•boy chiteklesimskily and tries to look' as if
ho agreed with Flaunter. But 'he knows
that he is sailing on the fathomless sea of
speculatiOn, buoyed up by-bubbles, and that
the bursting of any one of the Kix Daly sink
him. Here is a young author; of course It
must be very delightful to him to . tisect the
Quarterly Reviewer who cut op hislastbook
so - humorously. And hc-e are two moan-
MILS with a daughter apiece, and only ono
'eligible young man of' the party—pleasant
situation for all fire!
"Now every one of this party has been
invited, not because the Rotors take parti
cular pleasure in the company of any of
their guests, or imagine that any of their
guests feel particular pleasure in coming:
but because they have been invited by the
Bladebones, the Flaunters, and the Penny
boys, and think it a duty to invite - them in
return. The Reviewer and the Author are
the show-pieces—the stalking-horses—the
ornaments nr the entertainment, and the
young ladies, with the mammas, are the
baits provided for the Reviewer and the
Author. The eligible young man is asked
because he 19 RO very eligible in every-way--
and clues credit to every house where hn
condescends to ‘line. In short, - here are ell
manner of motives for bringing the party
together, but the one motive that can make
the party pleasant—the desire of giving and
receiving pleasure.
"Is any one here reary happier for see
ing another? Is there one who would not.
if he had his or her own 'will, rather be at
home than in the Katoos' drawing-room--
always excepting, Guttleton, the Reviewer.
who is a bachelor, and lino no home, and
would (but for the Kotoos' invitation) her ,
had to pay for his dinner at the A the:imam
a thing ho hates. But poor Illadcboar
would infir.ite'y have pre:crred the laorat 4 .7
hash which Mrs. D. woudd have trea4 ,, t
hip a to—three days' ‘th., atuan her_
and all—to the Kotoore three course , : ti-fd
no wonder seeir;v, that the privilege rf
stretching his thin and threadbare legs un
der their mahogany stands him—including
gloves, fly, and a new collar nor Mrs:
at least a suvreign. Flaunter would hare
preferred a snug little dinner at his Club:
leaving Mrs. F., to her own arrangements
at home--for similar rotmuit to 111adClionic's
' Pennyboy has already vented . 7 11.1
with regard to the Kotoos' invitation, in
the shower of imprecations with witieli he
ncoompanit , l his toilet. Ire has 'caber tiiings
to think of than these---people's-7--din
ners,' e.. &e, The mammas. wish each
other at Joliette—end the eligible :i.oung
man wishes himself in some place; if 'Otero
be any place, where riling women are not
flung at the hemht of eligible young men;
"Of course tinder these cirtntrestenees,
',is to' be expected that the .Kotefue..pertv
should he an lineommonlv lively, elionrfnl.
unconstrained, and open-hearted gsthsrineY
1 "So much for the guests.
"But, the dinner? Let n's see bow the
; ICetocis redeem the mat-arrangement want
; their mahogany, by the style of entertain
meat they put upon it."
tali..Snme graenteu ■cam ear , : "It ie
man, and not her wrong% that I
dregoed.l" That fellmw might to mar
torment orbeinz invited out to tea.
El
Ell
~~..~