karittitz. JOE CLINtON AND HIS PRANKS Joe Clinton was the captain and leader lit school. He was at the head of all the deviltry Inad mischief going on. lie was one that glorified in a clever trick done by whatever means, and at whatever expense or risk. Such a character all reprobate when absent, and yet join with him when present. The following is n fair sample of his numerous exploits. During the holidays he took his gun and Was found by the keeper of Sir Andrew Bagnal, shooting on that worthy "Baronet grounds. `:Young gentlemen," said the keeper. `•I would be glad to see your certificate." "I don't happen to have it along with xne." "Then, if it is nit along kith you,'' said the keeper, "you tau.t go along with me." "Very well," said Joe, "I will." They went up to the nail, and the keep er advanced to a side door, but Joe walked coolly up to the front door and rung the bell. "Conic army, I tell you," cried the keep er in aunmcmcnt: "thl4i3 the door of the justice room, and I wonder at your ;Lupo_ dance." "IVonder ae 1111.W.11 as you please," sail The lzecper itrr.rnaChed tot an•.iv. when the servant at the ra:ne time ..polied the door "Is your master in?" ashcd "Yes, sir," said the servant. "Then give Joseph Clinton's relpeet to him." An immediate invitation to enter was brought. ITe found the old baronet in his easy chair, who, unable from his infirmities to rise, yet shook him heartily by the hand, mistaking him for his father, whose name too was Jeceph. "Very glad to see von, Mr. Clinton. very glad, indeed. And how is Mrs. Clinton?" "Why net very well, I thank you," said Joe, "and I was thinking a rabbit or a leveret would do her good, and I knew T hail only to mention it to you—" "0, you do me great honor, Mr. Clinton, great honor. I heartily thank you. AVltat ever game Mrs. Clinton likes, only lot me know and she shall have it—pour dear lady. I am very sorry, very sorry indeed. And how many children have you Mr. Clinton?" "There are seven," said Joe. "Seven! Seven children! Why you look very young, indeed, to have seven chil dren?" "Sir Andrea- rang the bell, "Call John," said he, and the keeper came. "John, go with Mr. Clinton and kill whatever he likes, and carry it home for him." The keeper made a profound bow, and Joe shaking hands very heartily with Sir Andrew gave him his best thanks, and set t o it with the keeper, who went along out wardly civil but inwardly most terribly cha- grmect. 00C tea uun n gum rtntnu, mitt nun out for most of the day, and laughed in his sleeve as he saw the poor fellow laboring after him, under the load of hares, rabbits and pheasants, to his father's house. DODGING A DUN Some can scent a dun at any distance, and can can dodge him effectively. It is a knack acquired by long experience. If the dun, however. by his experience, becomes ex pert, the dunned stands a :dim chance of es cape,. We heard a story the ether day of old Dr. of Portsmouth, which is to the point, a• , regards amateur dunning: for there was a wide difference between the amateur and the professional. Dr. G. was a man of great integrity end worth, and his budne.s habits were on the square, exacting everything that was his own and paying every man his due. lle held a note against n gentleman of liamp ton for some considerable amount, and wherever hr met him the Doctor was ready, note in hand for the payment of an instal ment. It breameat last, an ag mining dread with the debtor about meeting the Doctor, particularly, at the time when troubled with a disease known in the financial parlance as ''shorts." Itut whenever he met him the Doctor's dun would be anticipated by his debtor's movement fur his pocket book, and frequent payments wore made without toeing the note at all. Ile knew that the Doctor was honest and t',at it would he all right, and ccer.d paymcot. were thus blind ly made. A great dearth of funds =ale him mote shy of meeting the Doctor, and to he prs.ed through the town his eye; wandered in all directions to catch a glimpse ”f his dread and avoid him if possilde. lie quecelcii awhile, and out gcneraled the aid ,5, ral times; but fate does not ulways favor the brave, end the Doct,.r front a distant posi fon. saw his v.ctirt ti. his Lers•i to a rst and enter a store. made ail tho he could, arid entered tl,e store just as his debtor docl,: , d lv Lind a rice "Di•ltl't I ,ee M n . :l:ed the Doctor. "Ire .li , l own , shop. kn per. "..at I 11.14 gnr :",rnewliere nnw." The Doetc.r r...t in a hurry, and conlil wait a , wen as n t; he a,c hit+ horse at the deur am: thet,lht, hr Lac:, Lerere T:.e roan re:nained, and the ull Doctor r.aited a log time. .'.t lout be motit out. Slo.rtly rift,tr Mr. -- himself went out. ~ : tepp:ng into Ma wagon when the .:arte,l at :tin) from a (I,,orwav "Well Mr. , a . Ol iie , ‘•ou neeln't doige me any more. i hat note has been paid up these six menthe. and I hale been truing to see you that I might pagans back twenty dollars that .nu over paid inc." say`The Into Lord Gardstor.e, himself a valetudinarian, took tho pains to inquire for those persons who had attested marvel lous cures, and found that more than two hh-ds of the numder died very shortly after they had been cured. S'r Ito - oert Walpole. Lords Bolinbroko and Winington a-ere kil led by cure mongers. THE FIRST LOCOMOTiv.B In 1798, in Redruth, England, as n wor thy pastor was returning from a visit to his flock, late in the twilight, be saw before him a strange nondescript, as a black ram, with eyes flashing fire, and breathing very hard running furiously towards his shins. Prov identially he sprang aside, and before h's assailant could turn upon him, he had run such a distance as gave hope of deliverance, when he came full butt against a man run ning in the opposite direction. “Run for your life! back! buck!" cries the REM= "Have you seen my steamer!" asked the , trftnger "I've seen the Evil Spirit himself! run run!" "By Jove!" emelatineit the stranger, "hew far ahead is be?" The tone of this question, and the Compa ny of a human creature, hi some measure dispelled the fright of the faithful man, and assured him that he, if any one, should hart courage to face the powers of darkness; so he turned and ran after the stranger, who as he thought, by mistake, had taken the wrong direction. They s.:on came, up to the object of their pursuit, which bad got into n hitch, and was roaring terrifically. To the astoni-htnent of the parson, the stranger rind dragged the ficry monster to the road. "She got away from me, sir. I wa.4 giv ing her a try; the Lit of road Leing gaud foi ETIMI "Olt ga.ttl tte—: then? Prn v, what is site?'' 'A steamer, sir, her. She l 4 a lit tle experiment of mine, g d up to try wheth er Mr. Watt's laca of rtap,ing„ coaches ht steam can be carried out. I think it con, if capital. Crtll be got for it.' "Indeed, indeed! Pray. my dear .tar, o may you be?" "I ant William Murdoch, nt your sez%ice; a mechanical engineer, superintending tho erection of pumping engines for Boultonn IVatt, in the mines hereabouts." Great was the relief and satisfaction of the parson on discovering, ti.at what he im agined to he something bro . '‘e loose from an I unsafe place, wasbutn bit of honest mancrai'u a lunatic eoncoit it might br, Lot harmles , except when it too away; awl might fright. en children, perhaps hurt them. This miniature engine was the optimal ment of the idea of locomotion on roads by st eam.—Th if road Adrocate, SCIENCE AND ARTS. PECELIAR CHAR IC TI RISTIC OF METEORIC 3. R STAFFORD'S OLIVE TAR, A GREAT ELECTRICAL REMEDY FOR PREVENTING AND CURING DISEASES. There is one oli. , racter which is peculiar ' Stn//ours Ohre Tor Cores all Diseases of Me in the meteoric stone, and which proves to I Throat and Lungs. be of bight significance, sir.: its substance l is' OLIVE TAR is applied and inhaled, and composed of various mineral ingredients I i „ R I I I: . ,: I II I i 5,.., „T l :' "l L_ Apr i s b ,. ~,,,,,,,,.,,, „,,,,,,,,, p at. which are identical with inittters 4/f familiar 1 i i . -,. .... , . -5c ...., "en e',;".'r it earls cane, iis7r 1, imade of 0t..•t1 .11k. lo ,Ittelt ..111c1) n 110. Ist% er of col- f i occurrence upon the earth: but amidst these ion 6iiiiii,4. ili-i, coy, the bolltitz wolt flint itl , lll. i iron is found in great abundance as it is :i . i . i,?,!. '", :ii r , " e • lll l' L ' e ' r. d i ' ,l ' t " i ' i l ei " ..:l > iii i r7i=s d i,T;l: . e " r:;i l a . i t ia la s : I never found upon the rutin that is, in a nit - I ` ' I I I- 1 0 7, " j ‘ 1 11 . , ' , ' ; ' ,, 1 ;rP;„1117, " :„ " „ i ;. ' ,. e r 1 ,, ". ,,r: r „ i„,„.1 o r 1,„, I ' tire or nearly metallic or uncombined state. ' (",7:1.4'. er 4." ..1 her r' i,i,"".) pour 11" the '''''' r r""" 1 - 11, On the terrestrial surface iron is always I semi iii•iillt ~ ' i . .1 ‘ 1 1. 0 2 15 c!r!:1 ; c 1 ;;:l 'o : t 1:11 : ,.;i:• t r i :: '1 ‘ r te t 7.1 .o %:1 1 ' ! from which it ,r;:i7 i ' i - i ' i l l "fii • 'Ni i ril g l i . ,' " al .. \!l s ti' ' ti 'i l.!'. ' t . i . t h; 'l ' g ' \ ' : 'i i i '' ith."'l'd mingled with diverse matters, t........ ir.,1,.........„...,,i I, •,,.f ~1‘,.., it it, .r.,... I . 1 7 - 11 , 0n , vt1te (Jaye • Tar e.uly for toil:0E1g by iiie (wired as a pure metal. The omnipresent I 1 A......' , .....1. " " ri " l " .l i i ' v z i .. . P lll n! i rr T. , ^ll ' l and corrosive oxygen of the air alone lire- liii " iil:: ' ,..l: l- i s iilli k i , ' i l ii . i t e " t r i . iii7) i",. :i i i ' il l" ,li 4 iii- ' l.;: ' e r" o7i P i.:• "* ; ;l :i ' r vents it from maintaining such condition „h.,' ho . ...11 , nr:tic Inwltgilly. soul n• 11 rt.,. It will to. ~,. 'I It , (Well Stlk Pla-t., -Itotild It , 0t..t11...11,1 *, long; this tali; and eats it away. Oxygen . " ,. . 1 , 1. (. I ::: l. . n i i i . ';:: 1'..,. '“10 .01 .. -, ...v• 1........ e e ..- e - and iron hate so irresistahly strong an at- , 0 0- ' : , 1 1,, 0 " ;! ,11 3 ,1 : !11 :: 171 : 1'1' :' '' t . t -6 : : . 111 . ' "' the .11.0". "'",- 11) 1.;11.0111, 10 ,hr nl,t,veill,eliOn. ille verT wo t traction or affinity for each other that they' form. of t 10...... . ,- of Ilo• T:troolt or L0n,... 0 not"..in•c r o -4 .. I invariably combine When they are left to- 1 1.1„`,,,'1,":.:',1,.,"1.',1„1::',,,11T:;;.1L,,1,'„11.i`,',1.:..t.....1::,,...'1.,.,f,T,,,, Y , gether. The: (lien, the uanszyilised and , (' "i'e li 7 . . ~,, c . : s , e • , di ic l,l ttl ott , C 10 ti.. t. , :tltbokt r o ; Ipurely metallic condition of iron in the wro- 1 s ' ,.;:; .i i ': -. " o'i r,' .e. Tai ~,,,,n - sot penetrate , . lbc .0,1 n; 1 life proves that it comes from n. situation in ',,1.1.1ri";',.."",-,:",„IIIII„(3',`17;;;..:::,,:‘,II,r"1"ti'"'"""'"'" II .i. ii art. docelly , \Thiel there was 110 OXy1.1011: I.lllltl is from be- ! "11 , e ,1 1 , r‘ ' ..1. , \ :, 1 i * A r1 n — ,',L., 1w i 1 , 1 ;,...,V.1 . :,.:: . 1, t 1 " , ' 4 ' , ' . " x " 1',,. 4 1,1,,„ yond the bound , of the atmosphere, and that r "" ... , 1 m.. " . " 7 " 11 " . .... s " ..I pin'', T h. - . 1 . .... - 11,111 rs II i,, , ,r t•tar '•11 .t, 10.0. N.,. 01 1:0, .1. it, is therefore, :altogether unteriestrial. , rimi I,lllllli I • ,i-i s, I.t•rt• tilts a, Tar Or Olt, C. Ttir , Ointment i• npolo,l , I CROOKED ENOUGH, CERTAINLY. , 5,”11,..:-... (U.l.t• Tar dot.* net t•onlato not 1011101111 I"You arc rather a crooked character, Mr. :::i l ii . ill . i . : - .i . „ ' . "' i '. il ' i " i ' i 1 1 e7, " ;,.::i 4 iii1 1 1, ' 1 i ti:e " Vi i it u s ' i; Jones. " "Rather, sir: lint not quite so " ,,;,1, 1 - , (alive Tar ~. ~,.,„„r,..,,,„. i i t. ty a proe....s I crooked as a tree I once ki.ew. It was the , r 1 i:I : ',I II I?, ,I ' , "' ‘ ' , " ::::. ' , l , i 1 .: ; , , ,.. ', : 1 : 11 ,, ,, '"' A " .1.. . 1 " i n r r e ‘ .. 7 .1 tallest Luttertitit let Cr Sail - . Standing clue r ,, ,, .'!: , , , , , , . , , :, i . 0 , 0•. ,,,, d io d 1 .,, 1 :10 , ... , nit,. loolottz 110. 1 . I to it oneday in a thunder storm, I saw a silir- tsiii.lss ....... s ili- P illi ' i ' i iniiiiili.ii enl i ,: , " W'11.1 1 .1 ' ;. 2 1 1 . : I rel on ono of its topmost branches. The I ;.. ‘ , 1' 1 1 ; ' ,.T.,1,. " ;; 1 : 1 11 ' ,7„ '“ ,•1 ' ,1 r , " ,, ` ,1 t t 1;r1 . ;„1 r ...!. r ,,, e , n g " , ' ;;, " g ' ,1 1 , '' I lightning struck the conic branch, about I -1.0 1",1'...-Iv i three feet chose him. and the squirt 'l start- A 'MA Rs'nt,hot:s R Ems:Dy Fort A MAR. ed.—The lightning had to follow the grain.' VP:1,1.01,1S Alt K'! or court e, and the squirrel (tent straight . 11 1 . , :i i!. .". ' 1 3„ : A 4? , 7 1 )1P . 1 4Zi1.: P A 1L T ig.T. T v i i .. I down. So crooked was that tree, sir, that By the aid ef a ini,roscepe, We. see millions of the squirrel, by my watch, got to the hot- little AND EASY 1.1114VE. and have their hair COI oral di C . ...te1l 111 the nest innsinnmalnie and ex qua-rte manner. There is something soothing in a gr,oal .;111ve anst tlnt disposed to doubt it. l et them I Wllll%Oll drtnno•trole the farl wu.t..tAm cLuticarrT. Columbia . April 5. I Q 55•11. SCRAP IRON. 3=l,3ol~asm3m. ISI V 1 - 1 r.n m A :s: JEWS and others. are hereby notified that mach of this article is sTtiI.EN from the iatiTerent iron uorks in this vicinity; and this nonce is given that they may not hereafter excuse themselves on the ground that they ',sere not ant arc of tiring RECEIVERS sTot.):N 1;00D5..., ii they are so roved, they Nall] recce, the tall peatolt, tot o rII as bervilt of the law. V. Haldeman 41, Co: Etzle. Item era:. Co: Nloa•eltnan Wais. .% NVrizla. Brooke: Small & Kaotfotatt. Shaeffer aSa. Co : Eckert S :11) era. Julie :11. I