pumlfroito. t &Lilo 51.. ri • Mr. Crane.—Well, widder—l' ve be en think Mg about another companion,' and I thought I'd ask you. Widow.—O, Mr. Crane, excuse my com motion—it's so unexpected. Just hand that are bottle ecataphire off the mantletree or the shelf; I'm rather faint; dew up a little mite on my handkerchief and hold it to my nose. Thera, that'll dew; I'm obleeged to ye—now I'm rather more eoraposed; you may proceed, Mr. Crane. Mr. C.—Well, widder, I was going to ask you whether—whether— W.—Continner, Mr. Crane; I know rtr terrible embarrassin'. I remember when my deceased hnsbandmatle his suppositions to me, he stammered and stuttered, and was SO awfully flustered it did seem as if he'd never git it out in the world, and I spas,: it's ginerally the case, at least it has been with alt them that's made suppositions to Inc. you see-they are ginerally oneertain about what sort of an answer they're agwine to get, and it kind o'znskei 'era it4rv.ms. But when au individewal has rea zon to !pose his attachment reciprocated, I don't see what need there is of his being flustra fed. though mast say it's quite ettibarasbin' to me. Pray continuer. - - Mr. C.—Well, then, I w.wt to know if you are willing I should Lave Melie-ey ? W.—The dragon Mr. C.—l paint said nothing to her about it yet ; d thought the proper way was to ge. your consent first. I remember when I coerted Trypleny, we were engaged some time before Kenipe knew anything about it, and when she found it out she was quite put out, became I didn't go to her first. So when I made up my mind about Melissey, thinks me, I'll du it right this time, and speak to the old woman tie Qt. W.—Old woman, hey? that's a putty some to call me; merle' perlite, tew.— want Melissey, hey? Tribbelation, gra cious sakes alive—well, gice up now. I always knowed you Wil9 a simpleton, Tim Crane, but I must confess I didn't think you ' teas quite so big a foul—want Melissey dew you? If that don't beat alll What an everlasting, old calf you must be to spose she'd look at you. Why, you're old enough to be her father, and more taw. Melissey aint only in her twenty-onth year. What a reediculous ides fur a man u'your age—as gray as a rat, tew ! I wonder what this world is a cumin' tew; it is nstonishin' what fools old widdewers make o' themselves. have Melissa) , 1 Melisseyl Mr. C.—Why, widder you surprise me; I'd no idea of being treated in this way after you'd been so polite to me, and made such u fuss ocer me and the girls! W.—Shet your head. Tim Crane, nun o'yer sass to me. There's yer hat on that are table, an here's the door—and the sooner you put on one and march out Vother, the better it'll be for ye. And I advise yew, before you try to get married akin, to go out West and see if yer wife's cold; and arter ye're satisfied on that pint, jest put a little lampblack en yer hair—'twould add to your appearance ondoubtedly, - and be of service to ye when yew want to flourish around 'mong the gals; end when you hare got yer hair fixed, jest splinter the spine o'yer back—it would'nt hurt your looks a bit—you'd be entirely unresist.iblc if you was n leetle grain straighter. Mr. C.—Well, I rimer. W.—Hold your tongue, you consumed old coot you: I tell you there', your hat, and there's the door. Be off with .yerself, quick meter, or I'll give you a hist with the 31r. C.—Gimmeni I W. (rising)—Get out, I ray; I rant a gwine to stay here and be insulted under ray own ruff . ; and so git along, and Weyer you darken my door agin, or say a word to it'il be the Icuss fur .you—that's all. 'Mr. C.—Tremenjous I What a buster! W.—Go 'bong, go 'l,.ng, you everlastin' old gum. I won't hear another word— (stops her cars) I won't, I won't, I won't. [Exit Mr. Crane. COMPOSITION IN SCHOOLS Ike Partington well advanced in his class. He is in some things beyond the teacher's art, and could, in fact, give that functionary rome lost.ms in arts tvherein he is perfect. Ike dislike, compo,ition, where a theme is given out to Le written upon by the scholar,.. and hi, credits are not very great for his efforts in that directkm gener oily, but the other day he astorahed the rams:2r and ctery one by an elaborate mod die on the horse. Ile was called upon to rend it aloud to the scholars, and getting upon the platform, he made a bow and be gan: - TuE Ifonsr..—The home Is a quadruped, with four legs, two bs_liind and two before. Tie has a tail that groas on the hind part o: his hotly, that nature has furnished hint with which to drb e the ties :may. Ms hood is situate on the other end opposite h's tail, and is used principally to fasten a bri dle to, to drive hint and to put it into a bet•ket to at oats with. Horses is very useful animals, and people couldn't get along very well without them—especially truekmen and omnibus drivers, who don't scam to he half grateful enough because they've got 'em. They are convenient ani mals in the country, in vacation time, and go very fast over the country roads. when boys stick pins iii them, a species of cruelty ti.at I wouldn't encourage. Horses gener ally are covered with red hair, though some are white, and others are gray and black. Nobody ever saw a blue horse, which is clasidered very strange I,y sonic eminent naturals. The horse is quite an intelligent animal, and can sleep standing up, which is u very convenient gift, especially where there is a crowd, and it is difficult to get a chance to lay. "There is a great variety of .horee?.—fa. horses awl slow horses—clothes horse-, 'horse mackerel, saw horses and home horse ehesnuts and horse radish. Tn, clothes horse is a very quiet animal to has.. r.lund a house, and it is never known t, though very apt to raise a row when it gets aapsized:—The same may be said of the horse, which will stand without tying. Horse flies is a very vicious beast, and very annoying in the summer when a fellow is swimming. Horse mackerel I don't know anything about, only that they swim in the water, and are a species of fish. Horse chest:tuts is prime to pelt 3fiekeys with, and horse radish is a mighty smart horse, but bad to have standing round where there's I children. . . •The horse is found in all countries, prin cipally in livery stobles, where they may be hired to run by the mile, considered by them as can get money a great luxury, es pecially- in the sleighing season. In South America they grow wild, and the Indians catch them with nooses that they throes over the horses' heads, which must be thought by the horses a groat nooseanee." Ike stepped down from the platform with a consciusness on his face that he had loni a great work; and he felt a consciousness. soon after, somewhere else, of a different sort. Superb Styles New Goods! THE REST SELECTION rver made, of beau 114i and for the peal!. 01 00:01010a. The uoder..lgneil very reapeel leave ”111,11011 111111 . ..1+ and the rill. 4CIIP , of Colinnbi.t, 10 la- splendid nr..orlineat al Ilse 10201., 11110“ d oirlielen as hit Is lie now on hand Ills r,ocL equla ave.. a variety of the hoe.: Mid 1,151,1 1 . 1,111.111111 r pi. 11,,, of CA.31%1 7 11E11 ES alai V I;s:(:st 114 Wt•ii a. every maker. and emiilsl3 CLOTH S. Ire-it Cr,,.,, lilt' importer. hone NEVER BEEN CREAPER Ile al-o lino on hand n Loge n—oortneciii °il-lola Infll ' l. Waring oppa , Cl , 1,11 no CraVlito, tl.l,lke, cliiefF, Collin., tiloveo. t.. flo.et y nod riiii AI lielo. 1iti„..n.r..„.„„ non Cutter and li.le I or ;V, meal.. 10. think., 14 .utliriciii4y well kilo. it t• render it iiiiiirre-onry 10 .beak or it at. 111.111 . 11, ' Ili- fix. lire wurreaied io gist• .110..11,111 In ~,.1. 1 mutt en! nr, aid Ili- pi ire. NEC lower limit eve,' V.ver) illi rig very Cheap for CA .11. 11, en-1..11,...,1,1 other. ale rewicoird to call an. lake II ',ark througli illy .tut :,. ul lii,. e-Itll.:I•IIIII. - lit Iv Prolllcliet I. third sour brIoW I lie Alfnlrlean Ilini.e 11 K1LE1111.r.1i..40. Columbia, April i. IO:,fl. GREAT BARGAINS 232. Eft:as-122.g - Groc,clea iIE undersigned ere now receiving and woi hr opt-time ill vin; Ilse :text %%vet.. stl tare al Laeutto torret. apt, 'Ally the Columbia Bank, ii•sv end mtmriniesit u 1 (MEd. imitable for the eaMit vototi•ltatv. 111 ;mit of GoilDS. I-Itt It st. cloth= Cit4stivaPre., 1. 11114 mg,th.r with n srrtt~ , ht 1 , , , t !ME... tit Gt )11: 4 ,0v1. tt% Sherlin, N 11,1111.. rlcking, Cl.es.k, Mimi., h... ORI.WEICIL:, of cvvo Lltt-cripoott—:§e-it anal of 11, 11,4 riuulni...; T0g,111., grow rat :11,-.1.131,111 I I.• re., C. 111.1 • , 1.001.1ag <.:14,.cd, Drug got, WALL, PAPERS, fart evrrything kepi In wi-Iliirepilated .10te. Cull gird i.e.. 11..01 . 11fia,11, u 4 •Au feel widitifted hut none W1 . 11:0 til-tipposnirtl, It+ we F.XCLVSLVI:LY FOR CASH! mid ft, than t. rti.4l , lrti to !mil roml,lith.• • erg F11.111t1:-. 1.111 EL HAGMAN. Colum'-:o, April 33.ntrivr.B. & BROTEXER, Cor. of Third aod Como erects, Columbia Pa., UFFEIL great inducements to persons witill• log good and cliesen Urylkols,Coueeile, wore, d: r., etc. (Ito .toe, i. 110Wlarg , nut] complete. ,nil our Old friends nod eu.iesiirr,. uud the indohe generulll, can lunge n lienunful no.orinieni to -elect (torn. We lily, in huge orldition+ of SIRING ASV dAIER tr(nll)%3 10 our sioek. end shall he rot.. meetly leeeiv on: new *unpile., wideli we are enabled to Sea ut greutlv TO prler 4 TO TUE LADIES. Our Dre.k4:ontio C0.i41 in par: of Se:lce of ever) vilooly nod thifureot qua al! kiwi.. of ull-w4.01 Dr [Sege.; 041 ~,10,4 all- wool De Lome.; A iplls . :l,• NVoolon Plaido,C.Aelonere,,Prolt>,.Cl,4,ll.ces, , &c, SHAWLS! Loaf; and Square, Blanket; Cashmere; Thihet Sleek and Calmed Silk; together with every vuriet) ill the market V. HITE GOODS In great varlet v. and al tinprecedentedly low price*. Bleached and U.ldeached Atu.iliini; 'Bit:Ling; Cheek; Gingham: Blue and Unbleached Drilling; Wane uud Colored Flannel^: !tuna: eh/train GENTLEMEN'S WEAR. Cloth.; Ca**imerea; Seamen* and Vexing; Ken• tt.cl.y JCSIIIN, Velvet Cord: Conointde; Heaverteen: 0.11.; lloan•ry; Suape•tderr, Cravat*: Silk l'oeket Handkerchief*: Gingham and Cotton do.; Shin Cot• land Holoto.; Stocks and Toe.; all cheaper than re• ever. • GROCERIES, QG EENSWARE, and every thing iu the Lu•uir+s ut such prices at will insure sutnfaetioa. C ill at the store of 6ItUNf•:It h Corner orllard and Union strets,ColumLur. Po April .5, tr,56. NEW AND CHEAP STORE. JOT opened, at the store of the subscri ber, on the corner of Fifth and UII3OII sdreets. Co. lutnbia. n supply of every article in the line of buunies, conaioning DRY GOODS.GROCERI F.S, QC EENSWA RE, GLASSWARE, &C., of every variety and description, all of which will be sold very low for cash. The subscriber will keep constantly on hand a well selected stock of goods. and he respectfully solicits a share of public patronage. Irreountry Produce taken at the highest market price. GEOROLTILLE. Co'innliin. Felten:lm «1.11F513 Wow - f3pri33. Goods AT TILE FARMER'S STORE. THE Farmer's Store is again repienishill ‘,llll a ch.., lot of floe, faphadial.le MIDI rervel able good., for Spriag S Slimmer. all of ,a bleb. ili ...old CHEAP An' '1 . 111 , . CIiIIEAVES Thr stuck coo• slat: of every var,ly of DRY GOODS. superior Mar Ir Cloth, cltileresit colors: k and Fancy Ciacsaneresi Satinet,. 011 rolora• very c heap; genera! aiwortitient ktleil :I.:14111111, 1111 d Velicrio, Muck Silk n.•h lu•trr. Def. rule plain and l i mey, hr•.; rriiitc, 11 good "non. 11011 V i ie lier; Bleached a-lure. very cheap: lialdrueleed do 4 4 NA tile, good; Tickiag, ccinglainic.Cot• &C., Ac ,ut very low pi lee,. Call and Lit conic:need. GROCERIES! GROCERIES!! I hove jot,' optotrti w new lot of which I will-ell at vet, low prat , Tc.,s. Spice s.S.c .3cc., all slllll or 11, tieioljtatoz GLASS AND QUEENSWARE, IM!!=I==JSINIM=9 01:02111101ME Marl:ere]. lie“ jag and While Vi.h. Alv cluck Ile,V 1 pace 1110 old goods—l Inp ror wol *.•11 YI VelY