®|fc American Volunteer.
PUIILISHBD EVERY THURSDAY MOUNENU
11 rtA'J' l’ ON <Sc ICKNNTCPY
OFit ICE-*« tITH I!IAHKF,T li<Hl.VltE.
. hK Ma:—Two Dollars per year If paid strlotly
’ .wanes; Two Dollars and Fifty Cents If paid
‘"iiolu three months; after which Three Dollars
'I nho charged. Those terms will ho rlglilly ad
. cd thin every Instance. No sub crlptlon dls
'.'■mi tin tied until ail arrearages ore paid,'.unless nt
in.oid lon of the Editor. -
1
33rote00ionai earns.
Q NITEO STATES CIjAIM
AND
1 .) M ]■ t'l A A OENCY.
Wat. B. BUTLER,
ATTOHNEY AT LAW,
in I'ranltlln House, goulli HnnovcrStreo
Ai-Hhlc Cumberland county, rcnua. ■
Appllontlons by mnlljWlll rocolvo Immediate
'VSVcukr attrition given to tbo ablllngpr ronf:
ire of Seal Estate, In town or country. In all lot
i ms of Inquiry, please euolosfc postage stamp.
, July 11.1870—u, / . “ j
’■Et/iTOo'D- vekv •*-
® 'ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
► CARLISLE. PA.
r;r-Office on South Hanover Street, opposite
I'LMilz’s drygoods store:
Dec. 1.1805- - ,
j JUMRIOH & PARKER,
A TTOlt XBVX A T LA W.
Olllrft on Main StraoL. In Marlon Hall, Ca r
hslo, I’u. , ‘
Dpc. 2 ISUB- . ■.
E O. S. EMIfl,
attorney- at-law,
Offleu with S. Hepburn, Jr.
jCant Main Street ,
(iahmsle, pa.
■b.'J, 71-iy
W KENNEDY, ATTORNEY AT LAW
■ Curllsle. Ponim. 011100 sumo as that ol
llie'‘Amorlcnn Volunteer.” •
Oec. 1. tt”t), ” ,
DB. GEORGE a BEAEIGHT, Den
tist From the HaJHmorc College of Dmtal
’omcoat the residence of his mother
East f/outhor Street, three doors below • Bedford
Carlisle, Peuun.
Dec.. l. 1860. -
S&atss anti araDS
pi B H B H ARRIVAL,
OF ALL TUB
to EW STYLES
OF
II A TB AND. CAPS.
The subscribin' uns Just opened at A r o; 15 IVortJ
H mover Slrrel, a low doors North of the Carlisle
D-nosll Hank, one of the largest and host Stocks
of HATS and CAPS evor ofl'crod In Carlisle.
Hlllc Hals, Casslrnoro of fill stylos ami qualities,
Stlff’Brlms. different colors, and every descrip
tion ol'Soft Hats now made.
The I unkard and Old Fashioned Brush. con
stantly on hand and made to order, all warrant
ed to give satisfaction.
A fullnssoitment of
GENTS,
BOY’S, AND
CHILD HEN’S,
HATS.
mive also added to my Stock. notions of differ
ent kinds, consisting of
'LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS
iVcott-im*. Suapcwtrrt t,
Collars, Qlovcs,
Pencil -t. Ihreaa,
- Sewing Silk. Umbrellas, Ac
PRIME SEGARS AND TOBACCO
ALWAYS ON HAND.
•live mo a call, and examine my stock as I feel,
confident of pleasing all, besides saving you mo
ney.
JOHN A. KELLER, Agent,
No. 15 North Hanover Street.
Oct. ISS7O.
JJATS AND, CAPS I
IK) YOU WANT A NICE HAT OH CAP ?
If so. Don’t Fail to Cali, on
J. G. 0 A LL Id,
NO. 2D. WTuSI MAIN STREET.
Where cun be s -.m the finest assortment of
HATS AND CAPS
aver nronellt to Carlisle. lie takes great pleas
iirre In Inviting his old friends and customers,
luifi all now ones to his splendid s'oclc, just re
oltvea from Now York and Philadelphia, con
instliu: in part of fine ,
BILK AND CASSIMEUE HATS,
besides an endless variety o'f Hats and Caps of
the latest style, all ot whleh ho will soil at the
Lowest Cash Prices. Also, his own manufacture
Huts always on hand, and
HATS MANUFACTURED TO ORDER.
fie has t’»e best nrrangomentfor coloring Hats
ami nil kinds of Woolen Goods, Overcoats, £o., at
the shortest notice (as ho colors every week) and
on lhe most, reasonable terms. Also, a fine lot ol
choice brands of
TOBACCO AND CIGARS
always on hand. Ho desires to call thoattentlon
to persons who have
C Q U N T R Y F U R S
to sell, aii ho pays the highest cash prices for he
(mine, •■. • . ~
Ulvo him a cull, at tho above number, his >ld
Klaml, as lio fools confident of giving entire sa Is*
faction.
Oct, 1870..
SHUUtfiKSi, sfr.
'$ f .. $. § 9 s §
JAMES CAMPBELL. | W. F. HEN WOOD.
CAMPJBJELITIf JIJSNWOOD,
PLUMBERS,
GAS AND STEAM FITTERS,
No. IS Worth H(.mover St.,
OARLIH L E. :P A,
HATH TUBS,
WATER CLOSETS,
WASH HA,SINS,
HYDRANTS,
LIFT AND FORCE PUMPS,
CISTERN AND DEEP WELL PUMPS, •
GAS FIXTURES,
CAS SHADES AND GLOBES &c., ttc.
lead. Iron and Terra Cotta Pipe,
CHIMNEY TOPS and FLUES,
AII kinds ol
BRASS WORK
-or Steam ami Water constantly on band.
WORK IN TOWN OR COUNTRY
promptly attended to.
I'a-linmodlute attention given to orders for
material or work Irom a dlstuuco.-£jr
Having special advantages wo are prepared to
furnish
k k fe b ,h k k
Bep. 1, 70—-lv
WHOLESALE AT
CITY PRICES,
constantly on hand such ns
OLOVES,
SUSPENDERS,
NECK TIES and
BOWS,
SHIRT FRONTS, Cambric and Mnon Handker
chiefs, LUnen' and Paper Collars and CuflS,
Trimmings Braids, Spool Cotton, Wallotta
Comha.Stationary, wrapping Paper and Paper
Rags, Drugs, Soaps and Perfumery, Shoo Black,
Stove Polish, Indigo, Segars. <tc., Ac.
COYb.E BROTHERS,
No, 2-1 South lianover street,
M arch 80,1871—Dm. - Carlisle, Pa.
T ' L. STERNER & BRO..
.« .
LIVERY
AND SALE STABLE,
BETWEEN IIANOVEB AND BEDFORD SIS
IN THE HEAR OF BENTZ HQUBE,
CARLISLE, PA,
Having lltlcd up the Stable with now Carrl
a?o.H f Ac., I am prepared to furnisn flint-class
tum-outa, at reasonable vales. Parties taken to
and fioni i.heapringH.
April 1% lK(l7.—*2y
MOTICE.— All pGiHOiiH indebted to the
undersigned, are hereby notified to call mid
settle the same-before October 1, 1871, or' the
siuno will bo given Into tbo bands of a collector
for collectlpn.
Aeg,.,l W t-tf ISAAC LIVINGSTON,
. .
. . .
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.. . .
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I m ' n [t it r
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,q. I • .
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. •
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BY BRATTON & KENNEDY
iWeDlcal.'
ONB MILLION OB LIVES SAVED
It Is one of tho remnrkablo facts of this re
markable ago- not merely that rO
are tho victims of dyspepsia or Indigestion, mu
Its willing victims. Now. wo would not bo un
derstood to any that any 0110 regards dyspeps a
with favor, or feels disposed-to rank It £
tho luxuries of life. Far irom It. Those who
have experienced Its torments y o plu B cout stick
;an Idea. All dread it. and would gladlydlspemo
with Its unpleasant familiarities. Marie Tnploy
, who was jolly under all tho trying clrcumstan
ccs ki which ho was placed,never had an a.tacic
of dyspepsia, or his jollity would have
forsaken him. Men and women sometimes
suffer its tortures uncomplainingly, but whoov
,or,Jiciirdor.a.pprsou..who.enJoy.?djlL9m? .
Of all tho multifarious diseases loSvnicn ino
human system Is liable, there Is perhaps n O'Oiio
so generally prevalent ns dyspepsia, i hero aro
diseases more acute and painful, and
more frequently prove fatal, but none, the oi
fects of whlcb are so depressing to the mind ana
so positively-distressing to the body.- If there is
a wretched being in tho world it is .
’ ' ' A CONFIRMED DYSPEPTIC.
But it.ls notour Intention to dlscantonlho hor
rors of Dyspepsia., To describe them trutmu uy
Is simply an. impossibility, but It is !i 0
point out a remedy. Wohavesald tbaldjspep
sia Is perhaps the most universal of human u>s
eases. This Is emphatically tho case in the
United States. Whether this general prova-,
leuco Js due to tho character ot the food, the
method of its preparation, or the hasty manner
lu which it is usually swallowed, Is notour pro
vlnco to explain. The great fact with which wo
ore called to deal Is this:
DYSPEPSIA PREVAILS
almost universally^
• Nearly every other' person yon meet is a vic
tim, an apparently willing one, for were this not
the case, why so many * offerers, when a certain,
speedy ami safe remedy is within the easy
reach of all whodeslro toavall themselves of it?
But the majority will not. Blinded by preju
dice, or deterred by some other unexplained in
fluence, they refuse to accept the relief profer
ed-lhcim They turn'a deaf ear to - the testimony
of the thousands whose sufferings have been al
leviated, and with strange infatuation. app3ar
to cling with desperate determination to their
ruthless tormentor. But says a dyspeptic:
Whatlsthlsremcdy? to which wo reply: This
great alleviator of human suffering Is almost as
widely known as the English language. It has
allayed the agonies of thousands, and is to-day
‘carrying comfort and encouragement to thou
sands of others. This acknowledged pauaceals
none other than
Dit. HOOFLAND’S GERMAN BITTERS.
Would you know more of the merits of this
wonderful medicine than can bo learned from
the experience of others? Try itbyoursclf,and
when It has .fulled to fulfil the assurance of Its
efficacy given by the proprietor, then abandon
faith In It.
• LET IT BE REMEMBERED,
first of all, that ,Hoofiand’s Gorman Bitters Is
not a rum beverage. ’ , ..
They are not alcoholic In any sense of the
term. They are composed wholly of the purp
Juicoorvilal prlnolploof roots, This is not a
mere assertion. The extracts from which they
are compounded are prepartd by one,of the
ablest German Unlike any other
Bitters In the market, they are wholly free from
spirituous ingredients, The objections which
hold Willi so much force atr.’nst preparations or
tills class, nann-ly—t lint ac’ iroior intoxicating
drinks Is stimulated by the. • use, are’not valid
in the case of the German . .tiers. So far from
encouraging or mculating r. taste or desire for
Inebriating beverages, it in: y bo confidently as'
sorted that their tendency Is in a dlametrlcallj
opposite .direction,. Their efforts can bo
BENEFICIAL ONLY ‘ ~
In all cases of the biliary system. Hoofiaudi
German Bitters stand without an equal, acting
promptly and vigorously upon the Liver, they
remove Its torpidity and cause healthful sccie
tlon of bile—thereby supplying the stomach
with the most Indispensable elements of sound
digestion In proper proportions. They give tone
to the stomach— sllinulailng its.funclibns, and
enabling It to perform ite duties us nature de
signed it should do. They,lmpart vigor and
strength to the entire system, causing the pa
tient to feel like another being—in fact, giving
him a now lease of life. • _
. THEY PURIFY THE BLOOD.
Cleansing the vital fluid of all hurtful Impuri
ties and supplying them with the elements of
genuine healthluluess. In a word, there is
scarcely a disease In which they cannot bo
safely and beneficially employed ; but In. that
most generaliy prevalent distressing and dread
ed disease. Dyspepsia.
THEY STAND UNRIVALED.
Now, there afe certain classes of persons to
whom extreme liters aro not oniy unpalata
ble, but who find It .impossible to take them
without positive dlscomiort. for such
Du. lIOOFLAND’S QEUMaN TONIC
has been specially prepared. Ills intended for
use whore a slight alohohol stimulant Is requir
ed in connection with the well-known lonic
properties of the pure German B tiers. Ibis
Tonic contains all the Ingredients ol theßltlcrt.
but so flavored as to remove the extreme bitter
ness. ' This preparation Is not only palatable,
but combines, In modified form, all the virtues
of ‘the German Bitters. The, solid extracts of
some of Nature’s choicest restoratives arc held
In solution by a spirituous agentof the purest
quality. In cases oflanguor or excessive dobli
liy, whore the system appears to have become
exhausted of its enencles. . „ •
HOOFLAND’S TONIC
acls with almost marvelous effect. It not only,
stimulates tho flagging and wasting energies,
but Invigorates and permanotly strengthens its
action upon the Liver ami Stomach thorough
perhaps less prompt than the Bitters, when the
same Quantity Is taken Is none tho less Certain.
Indigestion, Bllllommesa, Physical or Nervous
Prostrotlon, vleldreadlly toits potontlnfluenco.
it gives tho invalid a new and stronger hold
upon life, removes depression of spirits, and in
spires cheerfuldess. It supplants the pain of
disease with tho ease and comfort of perfect
health. It gives strength to,weakness, throws
despondency to the winds, and starts tho re
stored Invalid upon a new and gladsome career.
But Dr. Hoollaud’s benefactions to the human
race are not confined to his celebrated
GERMAN. BITTERS, ' •
or his Invaluable Tonic, Ho lias prepared nn
other medlclno, wolch Is rapidly-winning iui
way to popular favor• because ol Us intrinsic
merits. Tills Is
HOOFLAND’S, PODOPHYLLIN PILLS,
a perfect substitute for mercury, without auy.of
mercury’s evil qualities.
These wonderful Pills, which are intended to
act upon the Liver, are maluly composed ot
Podophylltb, or the ,
VITAL PRINCIPLE OF THE MANDRAKE
ROOT.
wo deslro tho render to distinctly nndct
stand that this extract ol the Mandrake Is ninny
times more powerful than the Mandrake Itself.
It Is tho medicinal virtues of this health-giving
plnntin a perfectly pure and highly concentra
ted form. Hence it Isthnttwo of the I’odophyl-
Jin Fills constitute,ft full dose, while anywhere
six to eight or a handful of other proparnt one
'of the Mandrake are required. The Thodophyl
llD ACTS DIRECTLY ON THE' LIVER,
stimulating Its functions and causing It to make
Its biliary secretions In regular and proper
quantities. Tho injurious results which Invari
ably follow tho use of mercury is entirely
avoided by their use. Hut It Is not upon the
Liver only that their, powers are exerted. Tho
extract of MandraUoconlatned In them is skill
fully combined with four other extracts, onool
which acts upon the stomach, one upon the up
nor bowels, one upon the lower bowels, and one
prevents any griping ellect, thus producing a pill
that Inllences tho digestive and alimentary sys
tem, Ir an equal and harmonious roanno •, and
Us action entirely free from nausea, vomiting or
griping pains common to nil other purgatives.
Possessing these much desirable qualities, the
Podophylllh becomes InvaViablo ns a
FAMILY ME CINE,
Ko'household should ho' thoutlhem. They
are perfectly safe, require 1. t two form) ordina
ry dose, are prompt and ct dentin action, and
when , used in connection with l)r. iioolland’s
German’ Hitters, or Tonln, may ho regarded as
certain spoclllcs In all cases of Liver Complaint,
Dyspepsia, or any of t|ie disordois to which the
system Is ordinarily subjec. Tho
PODOPHYLLIN PILLS.
net upon the stomach and bowels, carrying off
Improper obstrucllons, while tbq Bitters or To
nic purify the blood, strengthen and invigorate
tbo Irame. give tone and appetite to the stom
ach and thus build up (ho Invalid anew.
Or. Hoofland, having provided internal reme
dies for diseases, has given the world one malnj,
ly for external application, in tbo wonderfu
nreimro-tlou known as
11 Du. HOOKLAND’S,GREEK OIL.
This Oil Is a sovereign remedy for poms and
aches of all kinds. _ , nill
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Toothache, Chil
blains, Sprains,. Burns, Pain in the .Rack and
Loins, Ringworms, Ac., all yield to its external,
application. The number ofeures effected by it
Is astonishing and they ore increasing every
d Taken Internally. It Is a cure for Heart-burns,
Kidney Diseases, Sick Headaches, Colic, Dysen
tery, Cholera Morbus, Cramps, Pams lu tho
Btomacb, ColthvAslbma. Ac.
Tho Greek Oil Is composed entirely of healing
gums and essential oils, Iho principal engredl
entisan oily substance,procu ed in the South
ern part of Greece. Its effects ns a destroyer of
Enin are truly magical. Thousands hayo been
cnefllted byilsuso.nud a trlrl by those who
aro skeptical will thoroughly convince them of
Its inestimable value.
These remedies will bo sent by express to any
locality, upon application to the Principal Olllco,
at the German Medicine Store, No. 031 Arch SUI.
Philadelphia. I
•tfa-Theso remedies are for sale by druggists,
storekeepers, and medicine dealcrseveii where.
Chas. M. Evans,
Formerly 0. M. JAOKSON& CO.
AROUND THE HEARTH.
BY GEOUQE HOWLAND.
Whatever be our earthly lot,
Wherever wo may roam, *
Still to our hearts the brightest spot
Is round the hearth at home;
Th 6 where wo recclvsd our birth,
The hearth by which wo sat,'
No other spot on all the earths
Will over bo like that.
' WIiW win tot/cbhilhg’firitS'wr^ttn’"' - ' ’
Plied high tho drifting snow,
Safe clustered round tho cheerful hearth
Wo watched the firelight glow,
Nor brighter seemed tho ruddy flames
Than did our hearts, the while
A loving mother breathed our names,
With sweet approving smile,
r
When wearied with our eager chase
Through many a tangled path,
How sweet tho dear accustomed placo,
To talk around tho hearth;
And still, when by onv toll and car©
We feel ourselves oppressed,
Our thoughts forever cluster there,
And thoro alono And rest.
Bright promise of the rest above,
Sweet shelter from the storm,
Home hallowed by a raotbor’s love,
Hearth by that love made warm;
Though wildly roared the storm without
What recked wo of the cold,
What place for any fear or doubt,
Within the loving fold?
And when some little trouble weighed
Uponlho childish heart,
Till from our brimming eyes It made
The gushing teat-drops start;
How quick, before the gonial glow,
We felt each sorrow cease,
And back the crystal current flow,
To flood our hearts with peace.
And brighter with .the passing years
Seems childhood’s sweet employ,
And oven sweeter still appears
Each well remembered Joy,
Ai'ound tne cheerful hearth at homo,
Where wo In childhood sat;
No other spot where’er wo roam,
Will ever be like that.
Ipsdlanmrs.
Theclook struck three; a punctual Fate,
Polly, shovel in hand, flung wide the
door open. For hours had that mystic
laboratory been at work.uuseen of mortal
eye, arid the fragrance compounded of
spices, of sugar, of crusted loaf, of savory
fowl, which now floated through and
filed the kitchen, told the result. Far
through the house , spread the delicious
whiflf, and the stir and bustle overhead
an nounced that some one there recognized'
the signal, and knew that baking was
done.
In and out traveled the busy shovel till
the Inner depth, where yet a red glow
lingered, was reached, gave up Its last
treasure, and Polly, making a fan of her
apron, before the table to inspect the re
sult. There they were ranged in order
due, the I oaves brown and white, therolls,
the crackling pork and beans, the 'lection
cake,’ the difficult dainty, over whose pre
carious fortunes she had watohed till mid
night,the twoarid twenty pies,gold, brown
and cranberry red, the toothsome mince
and translucent apple, custard flecked
with crimson, tarts open-mouthed and
gaping for the friendly jam ; and in the
midst, its.disk yellow earthen-ware tow
ering above the rest, the huge chicken
pie, to whose composition had gone such
wealth of cream, of celery, of fatted pull
lets, as is not often met with oulsido the
limits of the Purcell farm. With some
thing of the feelings of a general at the,
head of his battalion, Polly reviewed her
forces, noticing here and there a specially
crisp edging, and in her own mind ap
portioning this and that to uncle Nathan
or Aunt Sapphira, and these to grace to
morrow’s dinner; for 'to-morrow’ was
New England’s special day—that ‘great
day of the feast’—in behalf of which
governors are wont to make proclama
tion, and neighbors to vie in friendly
zeal of housewifery and kind remem
brance of those who have no portion of
their own.
‘Yes,* said Polly, half aloud, ‘that will
be beat for the Bulger children, I guess.
The cruat is a little too brown, but they
‘wontrain'd that, and it’s so b|g; Then
old Aunt Plgett shall have this; and that
one I’ll send— ’
An approaching footstep cut short the
soliloquy, and, blushing rosy red, she
Caught up one special pie, and hurried It
into the table drawer. Next moment her
mother entered.
‘Well, Polly, done? 7
‘Yea,’ mother. Come and look at them.’
They made a pleasant picture, that
mother and daughter, as they stood side
by side before the.long Ironing"table.
Mrs. Purcell waa tall ami erect, the very
model of a farmer's wife. Strong, sweet,
with face unfrurowed by the wheels of
that light team, Care and Worry, who
drive'sp heavily over female good looks
In our country; and smile, undimraed
and bright, it was easy to vision forth
the bpnny bride who, thirty years before,
bad passed through that door on her
wedding morning, to be from thenceforth
the joy and comfort of all within. And
beside her stood the. vision renewed In
early youth, the same eyes of happy blue,
tho same dimpled cheeks, the same ca
pable bands; for Mrs. Purcell was a no
ted housewife, and Polly Inherited tho
gift in full measure. It was with a little
heart beat that she now watched her
mother's critical survey, and the nod
with whichdt concluded.
’Pirst-rato, dear. I never saw better.
And what a lot of them I Some are to
send away I suppose ?’
*0 yes, indeed; it would take ua a
month to, eat them all. See, mother,
these are the ones I picked for ourselves
—for to-morrow and Sunday you know.
And the others are for different folks—
old Katy and Uncle Nat, and the Bul
gers and so on. Don’t you think I was
lucky In my loaf cake?’
‘lndeed you,were, and It's a trying
cake, too. Suppose you frost a couple of
the loaves for to-morrow evening, and
put tho rest away in tho tin. You must
be sure and wrap them up well. Did
you ask anybody to come in the evening
besides the Watsons and Jim?
•No ma’am—that is—yes,' began Polly,
flushing ami flustered. ‘I mean, I didn’t
ask; but when Phil Ralston was here last
summer he said he should drop in if he
could, and I told him we’d be happy to
see him. That was what I meant, moth
er.’
’O well,’ said Mrs. Purcell, too intent
upon the pies to detect the weak points
of this lucid explanation, ’that there was
so long ago that very likely he’s forgot
oil-ahout it. But Philip is always wei.
'come anyhow.’
Polly said nothing. In her secret soul
she did not believe Phil had forgotten.
How distinctly she remembered about
that promise! All through the short
vacation, so vaguely alluded to as ‘in the
summer,’ they had been together, Phil
and she, gardening at tho rate of a mig
nonette seed to twenty minutes’ conver
sation ; ‘botanizing’ (Heaven save the
mark ! Polly hardly knew the dillerence
between a pistil and a pistol).; dawding
at tho gate under tho pink sunset till the
moon shy and silvery above tho pink,
and Mrs. Purcell's voice addressed them
from an upper window upon tho subject
of ‘damp,’ 'trapesing,' to use language of
tho same authority, In wet grass of even-
ings to search out glow-worms—all these
and similar pursuits had made it a time
of enchoutmetlt. Phil was an old play
mate and neighbor nobody thought much
of their being together, hut Polly thought
a great deal. And tho last day of all,
when she supposed him gone, lie had
stolen oway half an hour before train
Proprietor.
Ipoctol
POLLY’S PIES
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 1871.
time, and surprised her in the cool well
room, her sleeves rolled up, her waist en
veloped in a white apron, making pies—
all unconscious of-his proximity. That
Inst visit stood iu bold relief froiri qthers;
for lingering there outside the window
words had been half said, half' looked
which she never could forget, though, at
the time half’ frightened, she had pre
tended not to understand them. And at
last he took to teasing her about the pies,
as she Jointly rolled the paste, and jag
ged the narrow strips foredging.'Wouldn’t
she make him one—all his own—at
Thanksgiving time, for instance, for he
was comifrg home then? O yes, he was
sure dhe would,Jhougli gave no promise;
’lie'^should'come In"the eV.euThg Toni.—
•And then the time came for him' to go.—
And leaning through the window—Polly
colored now as she thought of it —ho had
softly kissed the little brown wrist and
departed, his last words being, ‘lf you love
me, Polly, don’t forget the pie. I am
afraid it was too late for that ‘if.’
For, dreadful as it seems, the Pollys of
real life do not always, wait, as the books
say they should, until a decisive word
has been spoken before yielding their
hearts. Love c6mes t unsought, unseen
as the sun coines, or the dew ; eyes ask,
and looks ask. Prudence tugs feebly at
the bolt, but her strength is weakness;
open flies the door and Cupid takes pos
session for bliss or bale. Which, in our
Polly’s case it was to be, remains to be
seen. She feared nothing,' poor child !
Phil loved her she was sure, and all the
hopeful sky was bright with early dawn.
‘lf you love me.’ The words so lightly
spoken hung around her like a song, as
she drew from its hiding place Phil’s pie.
Such a pie I Crisp as frosty foam white,
except where heat had kiased.it into
brown, with edge so trimly, so exactly
cut, and middle adorned with a wondrous
twirl of paste, embodying the initial ‘P.’
—a marvelous pie—a pie to make, the
mouth water, and put an appetite under,
. the riba of dyspepsia. Long and lovely
did Polly gaze on this chef deeuvre belore
committing it to the top-most shelf of the
pantry,, and then, rapidly restoring all
to Its pristine tidiness, she lied up
stairs ; for there was a bat to bo trimmed,
and, housekeeper though olio was, Polly
was no less a girl—a girl of eighteen, and.
what was more, the prettiest girl of eigh
teen in Gohassel. • Something was due to
this eminent position. .
So, shut fntdHier room, she sat adjust
ing the killing little feather on her new
‘lurban,’ turning now and then to survey
the effect in a raorsal of looking glass,
and by-and-by as the drifted gold began
to gather round the sunset, a sound came
on the wind—the distant shriek of a lo
comotive. The train had arrived at the
Junction, four miles away. Far above
i the woods she could see the dim blue
smoke, flown went the new hat, and a
lovely smile parted her lips. Thatshriok
meant Phil; and I question if Beethov
en's finest sonata, could at that moment
have seemed more musical—so true it-is
that at times we listen with an inward
ear to which nil sounds are melodious if
they suggest the thing we love,
Phil was come. The thought awoke
-with her next morning, and lent its
spring to the many small businesses
which ushered iu the day. It was for
him she rubbed the crimson apples till
they shone, heaped the grape clusters so
tastefully, and crowned the vases with,
chrysanthemums and gay leaves. The
candles she inserted in the tall, plated
branches,should brighten the room when
he entered, the noble hickory logsshould
• warm, the polished andirons please v his
eye. iShe lent her whole heart to the
icing—Phil liked loaf cake. And if ever
the spirit of Lady Mary Wort-ley’a sen
timent was carried out —if ever a room
ceased to bo a room, a dinner a dinner —
it was now, when ’transmuted by tender
alchemy, the old farm house took on
higher meaning, and Mrs. Purcell’s nuts
and apples became indeed ‘the refresh
ments provided for a beloved one.’
All things in order at last, a merry
party setoff forchurch. Father, mother,
brother James, his wife and child—first
installment .of the family gathering—
and, iu the our Polly. The sun
shone; crisp leaves rustled under foot; in
all Cohasset was no blither face than that
crowned by the - new turban, as our Httie
maid look her seat in the gallery frdiil
row as one of the village choir. How
everything seemed to smile ! Who loved
the world : she loved the Governor for
arranging this delightful day—this day
which made so many people happy—
which brought Phil home
It was early. The raelodeon was ploy
ing a low droning voluntary—the green
curtains were half drawn—plenty of
chance for the choir to peep and. to whis
per, a thing all choirs like to’clo.
‘I say, Polly, where did you get that
feather?’ asked her neighbor. T_pnly
wisli somebody would give me offer It’s
just elegant.’
‘Mother boughtit,’ said Polly, her eye
on the door. 1 •
‘Who are you looking for ? Your ma?
There she is now; What a good looking
woman James’s .wife is, isn’t she ?’
‘I suppose you’ve heard the news, Pol
ly?’ broke in another whisper from be
hind. ‘The news about Phil Ralston?’
‘No. What do you mean?’ with sudden
interest.
‘Ho came up last night, you know; and
ft hat do you Ihink.h.o brought with him,
but a wife ! Tim old folks didn’t know,a
thing about, it. Wasn’t it a fine Thanks
giving surprise ?’
‘How did you hear?’ naked Polly, faint
ly, With while lips.
‘Steve saw them—our Steve you know.
He came in the same train, and there
was Phil getting out with his wife, and
the old ’Squire meeting them, and look
ing ho surprised; and Phil,.said be,
'Father, I’ve got a new daughter to in
troduce to you.’ And then some more
in a low voice, which Steve couldn’t
hear; and the’Squire he ’most cried, and
he shook hands ami said, ‘You arc wel
come, my dear.’ That was all Steve saw.
for he had to come away ; but .Uncle
Reuben' was up to the ’Squire’s in the
evening, about a load of hay, and Phil’s
wife came in, and the 'Squire introduced
her: ‘My son’s wife,’ ho said, ‘and he.
looked real pleased, for all he hadn’t
been told beforehand. Gracious !
there they arel Look, Polly, just com
ing in.’
For a moment nil' swam before Polly’s
eyes. Then the mist cleared up again,
and she saw’Squire Ralston’s whitehead
passing up the aisle, followed by hia sis
ter, a dear old woman who lived with
him and kept hia house; then Phil, and.
by his side a lady. With unnatural fire
in her blue eyes she scanned the stranger,
noting the clear olive cheek, the graceful
undulating walk, the gait, which, even
in her inexperienced vision, seemed
something rich ami foreign.. That, then,
was Phil’s wife, the woman he preferred
to all others. And with a sudden powtr
of hatred, Polly felt that she hated her.—
All the sweet, even pulses of her nature
seemed turned to bitterness and fire.
‘She looks old for Phil, doaen’t she?’
whispered thoother girl. •
She did, but bow beautiful ? And still,
ns the services went on, what a mockery
it all seemed—the prayer in which she
did not join, the sermon which spoke of
people as thankful and happy ! She rose
with the others, she bent her head, and
all the time something dangled in her
ears the one phrase, ‘Phil is married I
Phil Is married I’ till it seemed as if she
could not bear it. Long afterward, when
she was happy again, that wretched
morning would come back to her as vis
ions of fever-to-returning health ;-lifctlo
things she was unconscious of noticing,
a late canker worm walking up Mary
Jane Oak’s bonnet string; the scrap of
newspaper left on Deacon Bunker’s face
from uls morning shaving, and on which
could bo plainly read, ‘Lost or Strayed,’
with the after clew of‘heifer’juafc below.
Sho remembered the exact position In
which Phil stood us he held the hymn
book open for his—wife. Once, lie half
turned and glanced at tho gallery. That
was too much; Polly drew tight thegreou
curtain oud looked no more.
•You’ro palo to-day,’ whispered the
friendly gossip in the rear, ‘or else your
hat isn’t becoming.’
This roused her pride. Bad as it was to
be miserable, it was worse to be pitied.
She bit her'Hpa till, they were red, and
(taking advantage of the last prayer 1 am
sorry to say) inflicted upon her cheeks a
series of furtive pinches, which restored
their bloom. Coming down stairs with
the rest, she was sure, Phil lin
gering as if to speak, Cruel, insulting,
she would not see! Leaning on James’s
arm, laughing, chatting, all bloom and
animation,she brushed past him. ‘Polly,’
ho half exclaimed, then paused. Backs
are sometimes oxpressivoas faces.. Polly’s
said ns distinctly ns back could,
’§if)eaTrtd*'fli'ia^' M T!liirToTs^ed , *after*tli«m-a
moment; tflen suppressing a low whistle
plunged his hands into his pockets and
took the opposite direction. But soqq
relenting, he was sorry to have done so.
‘She didn’t see rae,’ ho said to himself;
‘that was it. Well, I’ll go over this even
ing, at all events, and find out what it
menus. •
Oh, what a miserable day It was! All
Ihe little, carefully prepared forpleasures
were ns so many goads and stings to poor
PoTly. Tbe turkey choked, the children’s
merriment stunned her. And there were
all the relations to be seen—Aunt Elmira
and Uncle Jacob, Cousin Jano and her
family, and the new baby. But for all
her heartache the little maid was true
to herself. Only Mrs. Purcell, with a
mother’s instinct, divined that some
thing was the matter. To the rest I’olly
was her usual self, prettier than usual,
if anything, and gayer , with that deep
flush on her cbeeks,.and the saucy tongue
which, barbed with inward misery, had
a smart answer ready for all and each.
At last the long dinner ended, amidst
praises loud and high. The lire was re
plenished, the lamps lit, evening and a
general romp set-in. Amidst the bustle
Polly could slip away for a moment uu
perceived. She has ‘found a thing to do,'
as Mr. Browning says; .
Climbing a chair in tbe dark pantry,
she fell about. Yes, there It was. Just so
she hat! meant to.come and lift it down
for Phil. With tight set lips she carried
the dish through the hall to the back
door, where Jowler, a faithful beast of
nondescript breed was wont to.lie bii a
convenient door mat.
‘Jowler, Jowler —poor fellow,’ sho t said,
‘here’. 1 ' something for you,’ and she hold
out to him Phil’s pie.
. Never was a dog awakened by, dantior
morstd. It was not a very heroic ven
geance that* but somehow it suited-Pol
ly’s feelings, and there' was a certain
tragic quality in her manner as she stood
looking on at the demolishment which
would have strucic an uninterested spec
tator os Infinitely comic. , As the last
crumb vanished, however —the last twirl
of the ‘P’—a different mood asserted it
self. She put her head In childish fash
ion against the door, and, with the empty
pie-plate In her hand, began to cry—g. si
lent, miserable cry ing, with a little dumb
moan running through it'llke a child’s.
It was just then that somebody passing
up the walk came upon her —somebody
who, In his haste bad come ‘cross cor
ners” and leaped the garden- fence in his
way. A tall, brown-haired fellow, with
merry, kind eyes, in which wonderment
shown as he.‘took in the astonishing
spectacle.
• ‘Hallo!’ he began ; why it’s—bless my
soul! Polly ! Why, Polly—what is the
matter, dear,?’ ‘ i •
At the sound of the voice, Polly started,
as if stung. She gave a little scream;
then recollecting herself, would have
dashed past him into the house, but a
strong bund held her back,
. ‘What is the meaning of this?’ said
Phil. ‘You here, and crying on Thanks
giving night—the night when we were
going to be.so happy! Tell me what it
is, Polly darling! Can’t I help you?
Aren’t you glad to see me ?’
, ‘Philip Ralston” said Polly, too furious
to weigh her words, ‘you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.’
‘Why?’
‘Why? you ask me that? Because’—
suddenly remembering what she implied
—‘because you have no right to speak to
me—to anybody—in that way any more,
now that you are married.’
‘Eh!’ ejaculated Philip; ‘and who says
I am married?’
Polly, with dilating eyes, perused hia
face. Shocould not apeak, .
,‘l’m not married,' went on Phil, who
ever says bo.' ‘And T can’t imagine how
such a'thing got about. And that you
should’—ho stopped.
‘The lady in church,' gasped Polly.
‘Well! what about her?' said Phil,
sharply, ‘That was Will’s wife—my
brother Will, you know, or rather you
don’t know, for you were a' littlo'girl
when lie went to South America; It
seems he ran away with n beauty and
heiress, and tho letters they wrote never
reached us; ami tho first thing I knew,
there they were in New York, and poor
Will miserably knocked up by the voy
age, and a pistol-ball one of her relations
sent after him. So I didn’t let father
know, for fear of worrying him ; and
when. Will got better, wo all came up to
gether. That’s the story, Polly; but I did
think you trusted me a little.’
‘Oh/l did, I do ; and I was miserable,
Phil.’-
‘So this was the enuso of Polly’s tears.’
went on leasing Phil, availing himself,
maulike, of the opportunity ; ‘ and that
was the reason she turned her buck this
morning. Then Polly does care for mo
a little—a very little?’
*A very little,' responded Polly, with a
faint gleam of mischief from under her
wet lashes.
‘Hnongh to put confidence in my word
when I assure her that I shall now.never
marry—never—unlesa-somebody T know,
somebody who has proved very faithless,
and hurt me not a little to day, should
learn to believe mo, and to like me well
enough’—squeezing’a little brown bam)
as ho opoke—‘to take mo. for a husband
herself? What do you say, dear?' for
tho pretty rosy face had vanished into
the sleeve of his coat, and for all ques
tioning no answer could bo won but a
111 Mo, sweet, half gurgling, half sobbing,
‘Forgive me. Phil.’ ■ •
Phil did not.prove.obdurate. Before
long tho face came out of its hiding place,
and, leaning on his arm, Polly stood for
a happy moment J. o look at the rising
moon,and taste theconaciousness of bliss.
“Jowler” stretched himself luxuriantly,
yawned, then leaping up, his paws on
Polly’s shoulder, he gave one loud bark,
of benediction, perhaps, or may bo self
congratulation that this consummation,
devoutly to be wished, did not happen
sooner, to the detriment of his dinner. A
moment,-then Phil drew Polly Into the
shelter of tho warm and lighted room,
and the door was shut.
There Is another ‘young Mrs. Ralston’
now, whoso pastry is said by the good
house, wives in tho neighborhood to ‘beat
all, and whoso dainty ways aro very like
our Polly’s; but she always assures her
husband (whoso name is Phil,) that, if
sho should Hvo half a century, she should
uover, novor make, or he ever taste, a pie
one-half so perfect as that which he for
feited by coming ten minutes too lato ono
Thanksgiving. And he says—But it is
no matter what ho says.
A Middling Cold Niantf.—Not long
since a man walked into ono of tho three
stores in a Western town, and Inquired
of tho proprietor if he had any more of
tho brandy like the last ho got there, and
was told that ho had. ‘Well,’ continued
the customer, who was from a mountain
town, ‘I want to toll you about tho last
plnT'you “sold” mb.”'l went" homo "that
nightnnd hung tho bottle up by tho fire
place. It was a middling cold night,and
when I got up in tho morning, I found
tho bottle had dropped on tho hearth and
broke into a thousand pieces; but,’con
tinued the mountaineer, with animation,
‘the. braudy was all right!—there h hung
on tho nail, frozen sollder than thunder!’
A cynical lady, rather inclined to
lllrt, says most mcu are like a cold—very,
easy caught, but very difficult to got rid
of.
80 DDES THE WORLD.
Oar varied days pass on and on
Our hopos'fado unfulfilled awny
And things which seem, tho llfo of 1110,
Are taken from us day by day;
And yet through all the busy streets
Tho crowd of Dleasuro-sockors throng,
The puppet’s play tho showman’s call,
And gossips chat the whole day long,
, And so" tho world goes on.
Our littlo dramas come to naught;
Our Uvea may fall, our darling olau
May crumble into nothingness,
Our firmest castlo tall to stand; "
And ybt tho children sing and dauco,
Tho money-makers laugh and shout, •
"Tlio Stars unmindful,'’sllTl sldno brigirt,'’'
tfncensclous that our light Is out,’
And so tho world goes on.
Tho house grows sad that once was gay, •
Tho dear ones sojlc their Blessed Homo,
And wo mny watch and wait In vain
To hear their well-known footsteps come
And yet tho sunlight cheeks tho floor,
And makes tho summer shadows long, ,
Tho rose-buds at the ensomont bloom,
Tho bird pours fort h his cheerful song,
And so tho world goes on.
And God goes on, and with our wop,
Weaves golden threads of joy and peace,
Guarding with His heart of hearts.
Our days of ptilu, oiir days of cnsc—
Ho marlcs tliem all—the seed, tho sheaves,
ThO'danger’s smile, the mourner’s tears,
And keeps them safe—His children all— ,
‘Through nil the great eternal years,
And so,.thanlc God, tho world goes on.
HOW THE FOOL TRICKED THE HIGHWAYMAN.
Never heard of Redmond O’Hanlan,
the Irish highway robber? Well, that's
surprising. The English Turpins and
French Duvals couldn’t hold a candle- to
the Irish highwayman. But for all his
shrewdness he met his match once, and
I'll tell you how it was.
. Redmond was a fine, strapping, gen
tlemanly fellow, and a devoted admirer
of the ladies—ns where is the Irishman
that notf—qud what is more, a friend
to the*poor, as you'll admit when I tell
you that his demands for cash were only
made of those persons who could afford
to meet them, and he delighted in forcing
contributions from those who had the
names of being hard landlords to their
tenants. There was one of th is class whom
Redmond never lost on opportunity of
taxing—for that was the polite name he
gave to his own robberies. Every quarter
day, this gentleman or one of hia servants
—sometimes more than one—was wont
to make a journey of sIS or seven miles
.to call for his’rents ; and as regular as
clock work, there was Redmond O’Han
inu, with some stout companions, to rob
the collectorns he returned home. Every
means was used to elude him, but to no
purpose ; ho had spies everywhere, and
tried to get the exact information which
lie, wanted in advance. So one quarter
day, when the gentleman’s servants asked
'him about going for the rents, he swore
at O’Haulan, and said he did not see the
use of collecting money to hand over to
him.
Now this gentleman had on his estate
a boy called “Jerry tho Fool,’’ who had
the run of the house, and made fun for
the family. Ho had a great conceit of
himself, and when he heard what the
master said, he immediately asked to be
allowed to go after the rents for once, and
declared that he would know the way to,
bring them safe home. Of course he was
Only laughed,at; but when he repieaeuted
that no harm could come from trying, as
he couldn’t do worso than nil those who
had gone.before him, the mastei agreed
to humor him. Upon that, Jerry made
some, preparations as were necessa.y,
chose the worst horse in tho stable—an
old horse, half blind, and throe quarters
lame—and started on his enterprise.—
Nothing occurred on the way. He col
lected a considerable amount of money,'
carefully disposed of It about his person,
and started 'homewards. Towards tho
eveuing, ns he was quietly jogging along
-on the old back, and was just entering a
long lane with high hedges on each aide,
a tall, line-looking man rode up to. him
on a handsome roan mare.
‘God save you my mau!’ snj's the gen
lemnn*
‘God save your honor!’ replied Jerry.
‘What’s your name, my man?’ says the
gentleman.
‘Jerry the Fool, and I'm not ashamed
of it. What’s yours?’
Tho gentleman took no notice of this
question. After awhile he says:
‘That’s a Hue animal, you are riding,
Jerry.’
‘Faith, and I’m glad your honor likes
it,’ says-Jerry; ‘but it isn’t myself that’d
care to tako a lease of hia life., But lie’ll
servo my term anyway, for it’s not in
much of a hurry lam traveling—l have
only been to the village beyond to collect
.tho master’s rents for him*’
‘Surely he is not such.a fool as to trust
you with that job?’
. ‘Arrah, why not?' asked Jerry.
s-Why, don’t you knosv that Redmond
O’lianlau’a on the road?’
‘Redmond O’Hanlan, is it?’ says Jerry..
‘Ugh ! That for Redmond O’Hunlan !’
says he, snapping his fingers. ‘ Faix,
Jerry the Fool is a match for a dozen of
the likes of him any day In the week,
and Sunday in tho bargain.’
The stranger laughed, and they rode
on in silence, till they came to a very
lonely part of the road, when ho drew a
brace of pistols, and told Jerry to hand
over all the money he had about him, or
he’d try if he had'any brains by sending
a couple of bullets through his head.
•Mela-murther!’ roared Jerry, in a tone
of surprise and fright. ‘You don’t mean
to say that your honor is Mr. Redmond
O’Hanlan?'
‘I do, indeed. So hand over, my man,
and look sharp about it.’,
‘But faix, its kilt intirely by tho master
I’ll be if 1 go homo without the rents.'
‘What’s Mint to me?’ said O’Hanlau.
’ ‘Anyhow,’ says Jerry, ‘I must show
them that I had a murdering fight for it.’
Perhaps your honor wouldn't mind firing
a shot through my old beaver.’ O’Hun
lun did so, laughing at the trick.
• ‘And now another, through the breast
-oAmy ooat, and Heaven will bless you.
TlMs was done. ‘Now just ono in the
skirt of it, and good luck to your honor.’
But I’vo discharged both of ipy pistols,
and I don’t want the trouble of loading
them again for you.’
‘Falx I should dearly like a shot thro’
the skirts; it would show that I fought
desperately. Are you sure your honor
hasn't another pistol in your pocket that
you wouldn't mind firing for a poor bpy’a
sake?’
‘Confound it! To be sure I am. Hand
over your money, or I’ll beat you to a
jolly with my horso-whlp.’
‘Well,’ says Jerry, after a good deal of
fumbling, .* I suppose, considering the
trouble I’vo bad in collecting these rints,
your honor won’t mind going , oyer tho
hedge after them.’'
And ho threw over a sack, apparently
well filled with coin. Half laughipg and
half angry, the highwayman—first aim
ing a blow a Jerry with his whip, which
he avoided by ducking—dismounted,and
climbed over tho hedge* and no sooner
had bo done so, than Jerry slipped ofF
the old hack, and mounted O'Hunlan’s
horse. , „ .
•Bad scran to you, Redmond 9’Hnnlau,
ho bawled. ‘Didn’t I toll you Jerry the
Fool was a match for a dozen of you! It’s
a sack of brass buttons you’ve gone ovor.
tho. hedge after, you thief of ihq world!'
And touching tho Hue mare with tho,
spurs, he galloped off, singing at the top
of Ills voice the nhb oldrHsh melodyV'Qo'
to the devil and shako yourself!' O’Han
lun could not pursue him ou tho hack,
and thocuto fool had made him discharge
his pistols. There was nothing for it but
to walk away, cursing his owu stupidity,
and ever after, if any one wanted to pro
voke him, they had only to ask him
when ho had last seen Jerry tho Fool.
A little girl in Union county being
asked, ‘Who was putlutothe lion's don? 1
replied ‘I don’t know, I dldu’t go to that
circus,’
YOL. 58.—N0. 13.
THE DIGGER INDIANS.
Tho condition of the Digger Indian has
been improved by the while occupation.
Ho has more horse moat and more stale
beef; he lives in framed cabins instead
of wigwams ; bo carries a rifle or a shot
gun in place of a bow and arrow?; »fhe
bucks affect in dress a sort of. Mexica
n nod Indian dandyism ; the
squaws, in hoops and calico, approximate
dimly to the fashion. In many cases his
house is furnished w,ltUstove9» chairs and
bedstead ; ho pays no taxes; society im
poses on him no burdens or duties ; lie
has-no legitimate business ; faithful
squaw pans out a few bits per-day from
tiie market with on immense funnel"
shaped basket, full of abandoned beef
and shin-bones, while he, unburdened»
follows after; no infection of woman’s
rights has yet reached this tribe. Occa
sionally he murders a friend ; but the
American law does not descend to his
sphere, and looks on such transactions in
the same light as when one mule kicks
another to death. The largest settlement
is near Jamestown, consisting of some
twenty or thirty houses and‘wigwams in
•an irregular huddle on a mound shaped
elevation near theroad. Here, on a piazza
in front of the town, during the hottest
of the day, may be seen tho bare-headed
squaws, sitting in semicircles,gossipping
over tho last circus, A circus is the Dig
ger’s chief glory. 'lt is for this he blesses
the advent of the Americana. Before
they came there were no circus, and far
ess mule, horse meat and whiskey. He
docks into’ the Fourth of July and other
celebrations; ho luxuriates in them ;
contributes nothing to the expenses; he
has no idea what they Are intended for,
neither does he seem to care; but the
cream of their enjoyment is his. He Is
unnoticed and uneared forbythesuperior
race, laboring under no ban like the ne
gro or Chinaman, ho ia the happiest, tho
healthiest, freest, most independent man
in America. His head, uncovered to the
sun, bears a black mane thicker than that
of a horse; he lives and lives, and be
comes more and more shrivelled, and
drier and drier; but still he lives, until a
hundred, and a Hundred and ten, or an
hundred and twenty, or a hundred and
fifty ;no one knows how Jotig; for his
uudoctored vitals are so tough and strong
that they keep to their work until the
Inst drop of blood Is fairly dried but of his
m'umifled carcass— San Francisco Call,
MARRIED WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
A. Mr. Thomas Cooper, an Englishman ,
has published an uccouutof his tiavela in
Thibet, which lie visited disguised as a
Chinaman. Among hia atones ia the
following:
He waa just halting for breakfast,
after leaving the Thibetan town of Buth
ang, when a group of young girls, gayly
dressed, and decked out with garlands of
flowers, came out of the grove and sur
rounded him, some of them holding his
mule, while others assisted him to alight*
Ho Was then led into a grove, where he
found a feast prepared, and after ho had
eaten, .and Smoked his pipe, the girls
came up to him again, “pulling along in .
their midst a pretty girl of sixteen, who
was attired in a silk dress, aud adorned
with garlands of flowers. 77 He adds,- “I
bad already noticed this girl sitting apart
from tho others during the meal, aud I
was very much astonished when she was
reluctantly dragged up to me, aud made
to seat herself by my side; and ray aston
ishment was considerably, heightened
when tho reat-of the girls began to dance
. round us in a circle, singing and throwing
their garments around me and my com
panion.” Tho meaning of- this singular
performance was, however, made clear
to Mr. Cooper. He had been married
without knowing it. At first he tried to
escape the liability entailed upon him;
but such an outcry was made by all the
people around that dm was-forced to carry
off his bride; Ho managed to get rid, of
her before very long, by transferring her
to' one of her relations, but oven that was
not treated as a dissolution of the mar
riage. On his way back he was joined
by a Thibetan dame, about thirty.years
old, who said she had come to him with
the consent of her husband, to supply her
daughter’s place. We can well imagine-
Mi’, Cooper's at meeting with
this novel proposal on the part of his
mother-in-law*
A Mad Judge.—A judge in Western
Pennsylvania went to-the river to bathe
tho other morning, and while ho was
pwimming about, some abandoned scoun
drel slolo all his clothes, except his high
hat and umbrella. Wo won’t try to tell
.how-mad tho.judgo._was,.because,.nltho’
the English language his copious enough,
its most ellicient and vigorous adjectives
are entirely unequal to the expression of
certain degrees of emotion. But he stayed
in' tho water about four hours, experi
menting with tiie different kinds of im
precations, ami endeavoring to select two
or three of the sturdiest objurgations for
application to the thief. At last he came
out, and after mounting the high hat, he
opened the umbrella, and tried to cover
his retreat up the street toward his own
house. It appeared to the judge that all
tho female pupils of the boarding schools
ami one Woman’s Bights Convention,
welo out promenading that dayjfnml tho
judge had an awful lime going through
the Zouave drill with tho umbrella.—
When lie reached homo ho heard that
the thief had been captured ; and tho
judge is now engaged in writing out Ids
charge to the jury in advance of the trial.
Those .who have seen thorough draft say
it is the most picturesque law paper ever
drawn up in that county. ■
Tin? following story is told concerning
the Koh-i-noor diamond captured in the
jiiast,lndies:— I “TheKoh-i- noor was cap-
tured in this cheap way : lu 18-11) that
well known diamond became part of the
spoil of tho Anglo Indian army, on tho
conquest and annexation of tho Punjaub,
and being then estimated at $1,250,000,
there was great joy over such a prize.—
Without at all conaultlngtho army, Lord
Gough and Sir Charles Napier, who were
in command, audaciously presented tho
great diamond to Queen Victoria In the
name of the combatants. It was not the
general’s right to rob the army by be
stowing the greatest of tho spoils of war
upon tho-Queen, nor ought she to have
accepted it without seeing that the poor
soldiers had been paid for it. From that
time the Indian army have not received
a shilling for the capture of the diamond,
and Victoria has retained tho gem as her
own personal property, instead of placing
It among the crown jewels belonging to
the British nation.”
Putty and Paint.—However much
these two articles may be used to hide
deficiencies and cover up faults by the
dishonest tradesman, in the hands of the
farmer they may bo made to do excellent
service. Possibly the wagon, the plows
and harrows, that have been in active
employment during the summer, have
hud their seams or cracks opened by the
sun's heat. Now is the time to-stop those
seams or cracks with putty and a, toucli
of paint, before the full ruins soak in and
commence to rot the wood. .Repeated
swellhjg'nnd shrinking do serious injury
to all "wooden implements, and now, that
they are well shrunk, Is the time to look
after them and prevent the swelling
which will occur if damp or wot is al
lowed to penetrate. Forks, shovels, axes,
and all tools with wooden handles should
bo rubbed with linseed oil while dry.—
They will have their elasticity preserved
and their .durability and appearance im
proved thereby.
The Davenport, lowa, printers seized
a circus and menagerie the other day
for not paying its bills, and now each
editor is tlio happy owner of a Swino
oupalas, or Giasticutus, or a Hippopota
tiemiso, or an Alaskan Sea Lion. Vvhon
subscribers rage and a man comes in
and wants to know ‘who wrote,that
article,” the editor unchains his mena
gerie, and the insulted fellow lias a
sudden call to “ sco a man” elsewhere.
Hates for
ADvrcnnsKancNTs win bb inserted at Ton Cent,
per lino for the flrat Insertion, and five cents
perllnofdreach subsequent Insertion, Quar
terly half-yearly, nndyoorly advertisements In
orted at a liberal reduction on tbo above rates
Advertisements should bo accompanied by tho
Cash. YVnon sent without any length, ol time
specified forpuhllcatlon. they will bo continued
until ordered out and ornnged accordingly.
JOB PRINTING.
(JARds, Handbills; Circulars, and overyoJlt
cr description of Job.and Card Printing,’
Mary Cary says that if husbands
generally knew what their wives thought
of them, suicide would be a more common
occurrence.
Medicae authority says sunstroke may
be avoided by carrying- certain things in
the hat. Almost auythingdpmp will do;
but it should never, be a brick.
An Illinois wedding recently had to bo
postponed because tho groom did not ap
pear. The weeping bride is said to have
touchingly remarked,. ‘Ho always was
— r
Tiie cat that serenaded a.literary lady
the other night has not been able
out since; dud the lady is minus one.boot,
one flower pot, a patent inkstand and a
new chignon.
‘Boy,’ said an ill-tempered old fellow
to a noisy lad, ‘what are you hollerin’ for
when lam going by?’ ‘Humph,’ return
ed the boy, what are.yoU . going by for
when I am hollerin’ V
An old lady in Georgia who saw a lo
comotive for the flrat time recently, look
ed at it curiously for a while, and then,
as it came pulling along, inquired anx
iously what ‘pushed the darned thing
along?’
*1 say, Jbnes, that’s a shocking bad
hat of yours. Why do you ,wear such a
hideous thing?’ ‘Because, my dear fel
low, Mrs. Jones declares she will not go
out of the house with nib till I get a bet
ter one.’
When a man is unable to tell the time
by his watch,. because; there are two
hands, aiid ho doesn’t know ‘which to
believe,’ it is a tolerably sure sign that
he has partaken of more refreshments
than his nature requires.: in.
A BAL3IY fellow bragging that lie
could carry a barrel of pork without difli
cully, was suddenly puttd his trumps
when toki that ho was frequently seen
staggering under a load of. less than.T7s
pounds of corned meat.
‘You are very stupid, Thomas, 7 said h
country teacher to a little boy.eight years
old. ‘You are a little donkey; aud what
do they do to cure them of stupidity ?'—
‘They feed them-better and kick them
Jess,’ said the arch little urchin.
In a spire’s office, the other day, an
attorney was examining a surety touch
iug hlsqualiflcationa as bondsman. 4 You
have property you say?’ ‘Yea, 7 /‘Hid
your wife bring you anything? 7 ‘Yes. 7
‘What? 7 ‘Three children, sir. 7
Where was X, ma, 7 said a little urchin
to his mother, as ho stood gazing at his
drunken aud prostrate father,—''where
was I when you.married pa? Why dql
you not take me along? I. could have
picked out a better man than he-la. 7 .
A Methodist conference in lowa, de
cided the other day ‘that the movement
now being made to enfranchise women
is both wise and just, the genius of our
government, the rights of woman, and
the good of society, alike requiring It. .
Is it wrong for me to use rouge ? 7 asked
a homely spinster of her clergyman*—
‘What do you usd it for?’ ‘To—to—make
roe handsome. 7 ‘Well, madam, I guess
it will do no harm for you to use rouge,
for you are homely enough even with it.
A man in Danbury, Coua., uses whis
key to, destroy the worais on hia currant
bushes. The theory is that the worm
becomes drunk, gets to fooling around,
aud finally falls oil* and either breaks its
neck outright, or cripples itself so that
life becomes a burden, .
, The writer of an obituary notice of an
estimable lady says that tho bereaved
husband was ‘hnrdiy able, to bear the do-,
raise of his wife. 7 Imagine hia disgust
on reading ia print that the bereaved
husband was ‘hardly able to wear tho
chemise of his wife. 7
A loving father in Missouri sent his
daughter to a seminary to be educated,
and when she returned, accompanied by
a city lover, and sat down to the piano,
tho old man astonished the lover by say
ing she ‘could everlastingly paw ivory
ami howl.’ Tho young man fainted
away.
A contemporary prints this item: “ ‘A
Chicago man presented his wife with a
block of wood as a token of admiration.—
.She received it on-tho fore-head, and was
so overcome with gratitude that 'She,
fainted 'away. - The generous husband
has also given twenty-five dollars to the
police justice.’
A school teacher. oske.d a now hoy
‘who made the glorlus universe ?’ but
the boy couldn’t tell ; so the teacher got
a rawhide and told the boy if he did not
tell he would whip him. The boy looked
at tho whip ailil snivelled out, ‘Please,
sir, I did; but I won’t do it again! ; ‘ .
Mrs. TI., a young mother, was exhib
iting with considerable pride to a'uum
ber of admiring friends her first baby.—
Finally approaching little. Dan, a boy.of
five years, the happy pareutsald, ‘Dan is
not,this a dear little baby ?’ Dim.hesita*
luted a moment, .turned up his eyes, and
answered, *Yes, but it’s bald-headed.’
, Tun Rochester Democrat is slightly
sarcasticon a railroad line in thatviclmty.
It says that a-gentleman took a train a
few days since, on what is termed ‘lhe
huckleberry road, running,between Avon
and 'Mount Morris. Alter,the train started
from Avon-he discovered that ho iiad
lott a valuable dog behind, blit on arriv
ing at Mount Morris tho lost dog.was
found sitting at the station awaiting tho
arrival of his master, ‘
Recently, In one of tho North Caro
lina courts, tho grand jury, as is now
usually, the case, was composed partly of
negroes. After being ‘charged 1 iri the
usual way by his honor, the, jury re
tired to their room, when one of tho
white jurors ventured to ask a colored
associate if ho understood the charge of
the judge. ‘Golly,’ exclaimed the aston
ished amendment, *ho don’t charge us
ntiflln for dat, does ho? X thought we
was gwino to get pay,’
A Habtfobd man was taken sick a
few days ago. His physician said It was
a case of measles, and gave him medicine.
The next day, dlasatlslied, he sent for
doctor number two. He said it was ty
phoid fever, and he gave him medicine.
The third day, still discontented, ho
called doctor number three. Ho seuthim
to the hospital, declaring it was a case of
small pox. In three days ho was out,
hunting for a lawyer who would bring
suit for damages against somebody, be-'
cause it was only au'attack of erysipelas.
How to Quabbeu with a Wife. —
Wait until she is at her toilet preparatory
to going out. She will bo sure to ask you
if her bonnet Is straight. Remark that
the lives of nine-tenths of. the women are
passed in thinking whether their bonnets
are straight, and .wind up with the re
mark that you never know but one who
had common sense about her. Wife will
ask who that one is. You, with a sigh,
reply; ‘Ah! never mind.’ Wife will
ask you why you did not marry her.—
You say, abstractedly : ‘Ah 1 why, in
deed?’ The climax Is reached by this
time, and a regular row is sure to follow.
Love that is Reautipul and Most
"Babe To T*T.vd.-jAlady recently called
upon an old man who had just lost his
wife, with whom ho had lived for forty
years. She found him sitting with folded
hands in bis lonely room, and while en
gaged in conversation her eyes rested up
on something bright and soft which lay
on his pillow. With atremor in his voice
bo said: ‘Ah, madame. it Is only my dear
wife’s old wrapper. You may think me
childish, but at night X put the sleeves
around.my ueok, and it comforts me.—
Cdiild human love find a more affecting
expression ?