&
:®|)e American Volunteer.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
r ? 3 BV '
BltA-TTO iST Ac KENNEDY,
ArrirE»Hoi)Tii mabkf.t square,
■'-Uiiu*a*—Two Dollars per year If paid strictly
' iVfTtadvanoo; Two Dollars and Fifty Cents If paid
• within throe months; after which Three Dollars
charged. These terms will bo rigidly ad
ihhredm In overy Instance. No subscription dls
fl -continued Until all arrearages arc paid, unless at
of the Editor. * ,
;'V protessionai darns.
STATES CLAIM
, i A.ND
HEAL. ESI ATE A&EJVCI.
WM. B. BUTLER,
•-( v ' ATTORNEY AT TiAW,
Offlco ln Franklin House, 3outh Hanover Street
hereof Inquiry, please enclose postage stamp.
au3bfii.iB7o-tr , ■ _
ini;’;*:, bei/tz hoover,
ATTORNEY-AT-LA IF,
CARLISLE, PA.
on South Hanover Street, opposite
fteutsta dry goods store.
:Heo»I.IBUS.
& PARKER,
A TTOR NE VS A T LA ]f r .
■ Offloo oa Mala Mtreat. la Marlon Kail, Car
llalo* Pa.-
. a
VVEO. S. EMIG.
: V ' : 'M'T- Office with S. Hepburn, Jr.
Ecvtl Main Street,
OARIjISLK, pa.
;.;Fob>3;7i—ly -
YTThKENNEDY, Attorney at Law,
VVV'CarllslG.Penna. Office same, as tliatoi
the VAriterlca.n volunteer.”
' Dqc. I. 3570.
Bkß,' GEORGE S. SEARIGHT, Den
f rmt. From the Baltimore College of Dental
genii Office at the residence of ms mother
Blast lionthor Street, three doors below Bedford
Oarllflle, Penna,
Pec, i
Seats anU «a»s
gVR SBH A R RIVAL
OJ}’ ALL TDK
A JSW STYLEU
,-y; : h a ts and caps.
The subscriber has Just opened at No. 15 North
Bmwver Street , a few doors North of the Carlisle
Denoalt Bank, one of the largest and best Stocks
of HATS and CAPS ever offered in Carlisle.
' ‘ SUklHats, Casslinere of all styles and qualities,
Btlffßriras. different colors, and every descrlp
tlonof Soft, Hats now made.
The" I unkanl and Old Fashioned Brush, con
stantly or. hand and made to Order, all warrant
ed to give satisfaction.
~ . . . A full assortment of
GENTS.
. BOY’S, AND
CHILDREN’S.
„ : HATS.
' nave also added to my Stock, notions of differ
ent kinds, consist Ing of
LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S,STOCKINGS-
XeOK'xtes, Suspenaera,
, . \ ( Collars, Gloves,
Pencil*, 1 bread,
~ '- • Sewlna Silk. Umbrellas. Ac
PRIME SEGARS AND TOBACCO
’ -,V,-V ALWAYS ON HAND.
, fJive me a call, and examine my stock as I feel
confident of pleasing all, besides saving you mo
n6y':) JOHN A. Tv TOLL Ell, Aacnt,
No. 15 North Hanover Street.
AND CAPS I
pct;iB7o.
DQ’VOU WANT A NICE HAT OR CAT 7
. , JF SO, DON’T FAIL TO CAT-J. ON . ■■
::J.S.OALLXO,
29. TWBSST 'MAIN STREET.
Where fcan be seen the finest assortment or .
V HA T S AND CAPS
ever brpnght to Carlisle. He takes great pleas*
aere lirlnvltlnghlsold friends au'l customers,
and all new ones, to his splendid s«ock lust re*
dived from New York and Philadelphia, con
sisting In part of fine -
•SILK AND OASSIMBRE HATS,
besides an endless variety of Hats and Caps ol
UM-iatest' stylo* all ol which he will sell at the
ZoWeat'Caah Prices. Also, his own manufacture
KAta always on band, and
' MANUFACTURED TO .ORDER.
t*e best arrangement for coloring Hats
aad fllLkimis of Woolen Goods, Overcoats, &o M at
the shortest notice (as be colors every week) and
on the.inost reasonable terms. Also, a line lot ol
obolw brands of'
■ TOBACCO AND CIGARS
al ways on hand. He desires to call the attention
of persons who have
■ COUNTRY FURS
Co sell,'ok he pays the highest cash prices for lie
* . .
Oiyjrnlm a call,-at the above number, bis dd
stand, as he'focls confident of giving entire so Is*
faction.
Oct,lb7o,
SHumitev#. See.
J r f” T”T
JAMES CAMi'BELL. | W. F. HEN WOOD
CAMTBBLL~& KENWOOD,
PLUMBERS,
GAS, AND STEAM FITTERS,
No, 18 North Jlmv ver SU,
, . .CARLISLE, PA.
HATH TUBS.
.WATER CLOSETS,
WASHBASINS. *
HYDRANTS,
LIFT AND FORCE PUMPS,
CISTERN AND DEEP WELL PUMPS,
GAS FIXTURES,
GAS SHADES AND Ac., &o.
Lead, Iron and Terra Cotta Pipe,
CHIMNEY TOPS and FLUES,
,All kinds oi
B R ASS WORK
lor Steam and Water constantly oh imml.
WQEK IN TOWN OR COUNTRY
promptly attended to.
49*Immodiato attention given to orders for
’ material or work from a dlstanco.-j**
Having apodal advantages wo arc prepared to
fgrnlsh
■ k. k k k k k.k k
S6p.' I. 70—lv
tO otions WHOLESALE AT •
1 C ITT PRICES,
constantly on hand such as
aiiOVEs,
SUSPENDERS,
' ■ ‘ NECKTIES and
V-'., BOWS.
SHIRT FRONTS, Cambric and I inen Handker
chief*, Linen and Paper Collars and cuflfe,
Trimmings Braids, Spool Cotton. Wallelts
Combs, Stationary, Wrapping Paper and Paper
Bag*, Drugs, Soaps and Perfumery, Shoe Black,
Stove Polish, Indigo, Segars. etc., «60.
* COYLE BROTHERS.
No. 2lSouth Hanover street,
rfJUgtoh 80,1871—0 m. Carlisle, Pn.
' jV; L. STERNER & BRO.,
MVEXY AND SAbiE STABLE,
HANOVER AND BEDFORD STB.,
IN .THE REAR OP BENTZ HOUSE,
V"- CARLISLE, PA.
Hiving mted up the stable with new Carri
age*, ?Ao., I am prepared to furnlsn flrut-clasa
tara-outs, at reasonable rates. Parties taken to
and flora the springs
. >April2MKU;.—4y
THE A. NECTAR is a pure Black Tea,
With the Green Tea Flavor, Warranted to
BUU all tastes. For sale everywhere. Ami for
Bala wholesale only by the Great Atlantlo and
Paolflo Tea Co., 8 Church St.', New Vorlc. P. O.
Box 5.500. Send for Then JSeetat Circular,
• Jane 1,1571 —4t „
JJIXECUTOR’S NOTlCE.—Notice Is
given that letters testamentary on
e estate of Mrs. Susan Ulnehart. late of Mid
. dlesex township docoasod, have been granted to
tba undersigned, residing in same township.
All persons knowing themselves to bo indebted
. to said estate are requested to make settlement
/immediately, and those having claims against
’v.tliq.eatate will present them for settlement,
7 ISAAC SMITH
■,-;l£ay 11,1871—flt* J&ceculori ’
EUR BALE OR RENT.—A good
. two-story firlok House, No. 68 East North
•t. .Apply to henry snyder, or geo.
\ t j WETZEL, Carlisle, Pa. & < j**
\ April 27. 1871-tf _ S“Sidl
the hiifrirau Boltuiteer
BY BftATTON & KENNEDY
agrtcultiiral Jtinvlements.
Cl GARDNER & CO.,
CARLISLE MACHINE MKS.
Niw Machines for 1871.
Seeding, Heaping, Threshing,
THE CUMBERLAND VALLEY
Thresher and Separator-
Wo offer this new Thresher and Separator,
(Caaho & Co’s. Talent) to tne farmers of Cumber
land and adjoining counties as Ailly equal, if
not superior to any machine now manufactured,
It has the groat advantage of being plain and
simple In construction. Jt is a VERY RAPID
THRESHER AND A PERFECT SEPARATOR
AND CLl* ANER. In using It the farmer will be
sure of making the most ho possibly can out of
his crop becauso.it
Wastes No Grain,
btu saves all that goes through the machine,
and separates entirely the chair from the straw.
It Is an cosy running machine and will do Its
work thoroughly. This we guarantee. It Is at
the same ti me the cheapest machine in the mar
ket. The HORSE POWER which we furnish to
run the Cumberland Valley Thresher is also
new and entirely different in construction from
what we have heretofore built, securing much
greater power and speed, with lighter draft, so
that'four-toorses only will bo required, whore
many other machines require six and eight
horses. * . ,
The Cumberland Valley Thresher and Cleaner
«fns tried on the grounds of the Cumberland
ounty Agricultural Society at the Fair ol I*7o,
a large crowd of fanners being present to wit
ness Its operation. Iho trial was completely
successful and the raachlno.proved lls ability to
thresh clean and separate grain in the most sat
Isfnctory manner. All who witnessed the trial
expressed their approval In the warmest terms.
The committee on agricultural Implements, also
gave the machine a special notice in their re
port, strongly recommending It. The Cumber
land Valley Thresher and Separator, has also
been recently used by Col, Wm. M. Henderson,
at his farm near Carlisle, in threshing and clean
ing a largo crop. So fully is he satisfied of Its
great merits that ho allows us to use Ills name as
a reference. Farmers who wish further and
fuller particulars as to the working qualities of
this new machine are therefore respectfully re
ferred 10 Col. Henderson, one of the most wide
ly known fanners ol Cumberland county*
Tho Cumberland Valley Thresher will always
be well and substantially built, of the best ma
terial, solidly framed In every part, and pre
senting a handsome external appearance.—
i’rlce of machine, with 80 inch cylinder, 8200
without wagon. A great advantage of this ma
chine is that-it can be readily repaired at any
good shop without trouble.
THE CUMBERLAND VALLEY
PATENT SELF RAKING
MOWEB and BE A PER-
We will also build this now machine, with
changes and improvements fully remedying the
defects ond weak points of those built last sea
son. Our aim is to supply farmers with a good
home-made machine, which if not superior In
all respects to those .brought from a distance
will nevertheless prove In all essential points, a
good and reliable harvester. All We ask for It
is a fair trial.
THE WILLOUGHBY PATENT GUM SPRING
Grain Drill.
We build known Grain Drill now
with or without guano attachment, and the
shovels in str light or zig zag rows, just as the
farmer prefers. We now have,also, a new and
Irnnrovrd plan.of attaching the gum tubes, for
which we have obtained Letters Patent, which
Willi other improvements makes the Willough
by the most complete and perfect Drill manu
actuied in the country.
A L W A Y.B ON 'HANOI
a full lino of agricultural implements both of
our own manufacture and from other establish
ments, including every useful, machine needed,
by the farmer. We may enumerate Hay Rakes,
old fashioned Threshers and Horae Powers,
Corn Spellers, of which we Lave three kinds and
five different sizes,Cannon Corn Shellers, Fod
der Cutters. Older Mills and other articles too
numerous to specify, .
Orders taken for all kinds of
WORK
IRON
In onr extensive Foundry and'Machine Shops
and for BUILDING MATERIALS of 1 every de
scription In our. Door and Sash Factory. A full
stock of well-seasoned LUMBER always -on
hand, enabling us to All all orders promptly, at
the lowest prices. Farmers.builders and manu
facturers are Invited to give us a call and see
our facilities for turning outgoofl work. .
.Tan. lO.’rffc-Cii’
s}air Mntetoev-
■jjßE THE BEST!
HALL’S
VEGETABLE SICILIAN
HAIR RENEWER.
Nine years before the public, and no prepara
tion for the hair has over been produced equal
to Hall’s “ Vegetable Sicilian Hair Renewer,”
and every honest dealer will say It elves the
best satisfaction* It restores GRAY HAIR to Its
original color, eradicating and preventing dan
druff, curing BALDNESS and promoting the
growth of the-hair. The gray and brashv hair
uv a few applications Is changed to black and
silky locks, and wayward hair will assume any *
shape the wearer desires. It is the cheapest
HAIR DRESSING!*! the world.and Its effects
last longer, ns It excites the glands to furnish the
nutritive principle so necessary to the life of the
hair. It gives the hair thatsplendld appearance
so much admired by all. By Ur tonic and stlm
ulotlng properties It prevents the hair from fal
ling'out, and nor-e need be without Nature's
ornament, a good head of hap". It Is the first
real perfected remedy over discovered for curing
diseases of‘the hair, and It has never been
equalled, and wo assure the thousands who hav
mod lt, lt is kept up to Its original high stand
ard. Our Treatise on the Hair mailed Iree; send
for It, Sold by all Druggists and Dealers In
medicines. Price One Dollar por bottle.
R. P. HALL & CO., Proprietor,
Laboratory, Nashua, N. H.
S, A, Havekstick, Agent, Carlisle, Pa.
March 30, 1871-Jy
A GENTS WANTED For the History
J\_ of the War in Europe. It contains over Ift)
ilhe engravings of Battle Scenes and incidents
in the War, and is the only authentic ana ofll
cliil history of that great conflict.
Published in both English ard German.
CAUTlON,—lnferior histories are being circu
lated. See that the book you buy contains 100
lino engravings and maps.* Bend for circulars
and see our terms, and a full description of the
work. Address, NAT’L. PUBLISHING CO.,
Philn., Pa.
Juno 1,1871—-112
ITO FOR MINNESOTA.—ICO Acre
Li Farm Free. The Northwestern Coloniza
tion and free Homestead Company. (Chartered
by the Slate of Minnesota,) furnishes Cheap
■Rates of Faro, and Locates Free Homesteads.—
Send for Free Pamphlets, giving History of Min
nesota. Its Resources, Progress, Fertility and Ad
uantages. Address E. Pago Davis, Commission
er of Immigration for the Slate of Minnesota,
and General Agent for the N. W. Col.-Co.,.No.
158 Broadway, N, Y. Active and reliable Agents
wanted In every locality.
Juno 1,1871—1 t
A MONTH—Expenses paid—
i O Male or Female Agents—Horse and
outilt furnished. Address, Saco Novelty Co„
Saco. Mo.
Juno 1,1871—1 t
mHIS IB NO'HUMBUG.—By sending
I 35 cents with oge, height, cojor of eyes and
nuir, you will receive byreturb mall, a correct
picture of your future husband or wife, with
name, and date of marriage. Address W. FOX,
P. O. Drawer, No. 5M Fullouvlilo, N. Y.
June 1,1871—1 t
Ipoctical
REMEMBER, ROYS MARE MEN.
When you see a ragged urchin
Standing wistful in the street,
, With torn hot and kncoless trowsers,
Dirty face and bare ifed feet,
Pass not by the child unheeding;
Smile upon him. Mark mo, when >
n-Hetegrown hoUlnot.forget.lt— ...e-.,..-.....
For remember, boys make men.
When the buoyant youthful spirits
Overflew in boyish freak,
Chide your child In gentle accents; .
Do not in your angor speak.
You must sow In youthful bosoms,
Seeds of lender mercy; then
Plants will grow and boar good fruitage
When the erring boys are men. *
Have you never seen a grandsire,
With eyes aglow with joy,
Hriug to mind somi act of kindness,
Something said to him, a boy 7.
Or relates some slight of coldness,
With'a brow all clouded, when
iroatud tbex vrcie too thoughtless
To remember, boys makes men;
Lot us try to add some pleasure
To the life of every boy ?
For each child needs tender Interest
lu Its sorrow and its Joy,
Call your boys homo by Its brightness
They avoid a gloomy den, .
And seek for comfort elsewhere;
And remember, boys.mako men.
|psdlmtcousr
THE GARTER
A THRILLING TALK
To the visitors of Bath, among the
many objects of admiration In that city
of palaces, the beauty of the women, par
ticularly of the lowerorders, cannot have
escaped their observation. An elegance
of dress and a polish of manners prevail
among them, and is, doubtless, attributa
ble to their collision with the fashionable
. Who flock thither.
. An undue desire of admiration induces
an inordinate love of dress, and is insep
arable from It; and though the.passion
may be indulged by a female, otherwise
strictly virtuous, it is often the source of
disquiet and uneasiness in a husband’s
breast, and has been the cause of the
most fatal consequences, as the following
tale will exemplify ;
About a mile due east from Bath, im
mediately behind the brow of a hill,
whose summit is crowned by a grove of
lofty, fire trees, stands an edifice which is
visible from all the surrounding hills. It
is a stone gate way with two round tow
ers, flanked by small, square turrets,
which—as it is only a front t a mere orna
mental building—hns received the appro
priate name of Sham Castle. This spot
commands a fine view of Bath, and the
beautiful valley iti which it is situated. .
The deep solitude that generally reigns
here lsstriklnffl>*contrasted with its close
neighborhood to the busy city, upon
which it looks down, and whose inhabi
tants may be distinguished In the streets
pursuing their avocations ; while ming
led sounds reach the ear in murmurs
scarcely less soft than those of the bees,
attracted to the spot by the wild flowers
that adorn its site.
6u Sundaysand holidays, ‘when young
and old com© forth to play,’ joyous
groups of youpg men and mbidens may
bo seen scattered over the adjacent mea
dows; while here and there a straggling
swain employs the tedious minutes, an
ticipating the arrival of his Phills, In
scoring her initials on the walls of the
castle.
It was on one of these occasions that
Mary ,-the anhjeotof her narrative,
accompanied by a female friend, directed
her steps toward the hill, whose sides
were already covered with numerous
parlies. Mary was a beautiful young
woman, and had lately given her hand
W an honest tradesman considerably old
er than herself; but the disparity in their
ages was not so great as that which un
fortunately displayed itself in their dis
positions. He was a sober man, in man
ners very, sedate, and almost morose
hut he floated on his wife ; and, though
her frivolities sometimes proyoKed lan
guage harsh and unkind, it was easy to
perceive the extreme fondness he enter
tained for her. A woman will forgive
much, almost anything, in conduct that
she believes to proceed from an excess of
love. Mary knew her husband’s weak
ness—though it appearedmot such in her
eyes—and was grateful Jor it; but ahe
bad not sufficient delicacy of feeling, or
otrength of mind or purpose, to adapt her
conduct to his humors. The strongest
passions often lie deepest concealed ; but
Mary, when she hafl, received, at door or
window, the occasional homage of a pas
ser-by, or turned, half smiling, half
frowning, from the insolent stare or re
mark of some sprig of fashion—has star
ted, as she met the scowling glance of her
husband, and, with an undefined feeling
of dread, betaken herself silently to her
domestic duties.
Mary, as has been stated, was very
beautiful, and conscious of her charms—
a desire to display them had betrayed
her into the fault, perhaps the sin, of
dressing in a manner unsuitable to her
station in life. This was a source of con
stant bickering, and the thoughtless girl
little dreamed that, by indulging her
childish vanity, she was engendering a
feeling in her husband’s breast that was
gradually converting her blood to gall,
and her thoughts to bitterness.
The female, too, whom ahe had chosen
as her companion, was one whose friv
olly and levity had subjected her conduct
to the strictures of the more correct of
her class, though not.sulHoienlly glaring
to warrant her exclusion Irora their so
ciety. But she was kind and assiduous
in her attentions to Mary, who only
viewed her as a gay and volatile being—
that ‘meant no harm.’ She was actuated,
also, by a spirit of contradiction to con
tinue the acquaintance, in opposition to
her husband’s wishes and expressed dis
approbation.
They had not been long on the hill,
when twq gentlemen came up to and ac
costed her friend, who foolishly encour
aged the flirtations of men whose inten
tions she knew could not be correct.
They quickly recognized Mary, end
with the effrontery and usual small talk
which men of fashion know how to em
ploy under such circumstances, continu
ed to walk by their side, and to ‘do the
agreeable.’ The situation' soon became
an irksome one to Mary; she felt confus
ed and pained as she remarked the une
quivocal looks of surprise and scorn of
many of her own rank in life,. Not so
her companion ; ahe was perfectly at her
ease; and maintained with spirit a trifl
ing conversation with the intruders who
had insensibly led them-to a retired spot
behind the castle. There an attempt was
manifested on the part of the gentlemen
to separate them. To Mary’s unsophis
ticated heart, this proceeding appeared
In all its glaring impropriety ; and when
'one of the liberlfnoa ventured to put bis
arm round her slender waist, and draw
ing her nearer to him.’to whisper some
Insulting nonsense in her ear, her heart
swelled withirr. J Jier, and unable any
longer to suppress her feelings she burst
into a lluod of tears.
•Let us go,' said Mary in an ag6ny ;
; let us go home.’ The gallants mean
while stood puzzled and irresolute.
Prudence bad left the safeguard of mod
esty and virtue, but innocence remained
to defeat their overthrow; and there la a
sacredness in the heartfelt appeal and
tearful imagination of alarmed innocen
cy, that cannot full to check the advances
of the most proflgate roue. Shortly af
terward Mary missed her garter, and
looking round for it, beheld It In the
hands of the gentleman with whom she
had been walking! Blushing antTcou*
fused, she hurried her companion down
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, JDNE 22, 1871.
the hill, and mingled in the crowd con
gregated at Its base. As they proceeded
homeward, her friend remarked her con
tinued dejection, and inquired the rea
son, ‘ '
? *T cannot tell/ said Mary ; ‘but I have
a feafful foreboding in my mind, and the
terror of some coming evil oppresses my
spirit/ , ,
-•Why", Mary, what's the matter with
you ? ■ How foolish ! Your eyetf are red
and swollen. You must not go home in
this plight: your husband will wonder
what I've ueeu'Hoiug wlth d o,"* Cohie—
come home with me, and we’ll soon get
rid of'these vapors.'
Her compliance with Ibis reasonable
request contributed to the misfortunes of
the day, for the evening was so farad,
vauced ere sfte reached her own house
she found it deserted, and silence, which
seemed doubly dreary to a mind preoccu
pied by melancholy thoughts, reigned
throughout it. She was at no loss to con
jecture the cause. It was her husband's
habit, of late, when much displeased, to
betake himself to a neighboring public
house, and there to remain till late.
During her absence, a displeasure stron
ger than he had ever before harbored
against Loi> nusnamra peace.—
‘This can never come to any good/ mut
tered he. He was suffering the anguish
which he endures who ‘doats yet doubts
—suspects, yet strongly loves,’ .
‘Ob, jealousy I Thou fever-fret of care!
Vexation's sore vicissitude! Demou, that
plantest thy hell, and revelest in the
breast where love reposed, to what excess
of crime hast thou not led thy victims—
depriving reason of her power and send
ing madness to usurp her seat!
Hour after hour parsed on, but Mary
came not. Buspense is at all times an
unpleasant feeling; but when it seems
to be Inflicted wantonly, and from a
source when it is least expected, the sense
of injury and. unkindness increases its
acuteness. To watch the hand, which
never.seemed to move so slowly; to listen
to each appreaching footstep with revive
Ing hope, only to follow the dying sound
with, increased bitterness of disappoint
ment—these are sufferings which the
thoughtless truant, who protracts the
flying hours, .often in heartless and un
meaning merriment, little dreams of.
Again and again did be recur to the
Character of the woman with whom Ills
wife went out; numerous trifling, indis
cretions forced themselves back upon his
memory, and suggested a construction
they had not yet borne before. In vain
did he strive to beat away the meddling
fiend •* fancy on fancy, each more hideous
1 than tho last, crowded his distempered
imagination, and drove him at length to
seek relief in tho tap room of the little inn
he occasionally resorted to.
A leelinj.* of envy is commonly gener
ated toward the man who marries a very
beautiful woman. He is looked upou as
a presumptuous person, who has dared to
appropriate to himself so much treasure;
and he who is wedded to youth and beau-,
ty often pays this price for the monopo
ly-
' The husband found the usual company
assembled ; aud, as Is too frequently the
case, there was not wanting a ‘good ha
lured friend’ to fan the flame of disap
pointment evidently apparent in his
countenance. His fondness for his wife
was generally known, and envy readily
supplied the means of fomenting a re
finement in feeling unappreciated ,by
vulgar minds. The conversation pur
posely alluded to the holiday sports up
on the hill, and hints and inuendoes
were skillfully thrown out, to cause him
abruptly to leave the house.
The night was close aud sultry, aud
dark withal, though summer. The lamps
threw a gloomy light along the dpaty
streets, as the unhappy man passed to aud
Iro, endeavoring to dissipate, by rapid
motion, the unwholesome thoughts that
thronged upon him.
‘They all sneer at me/ muttered he;
‘how, if I’ve been 100 secure ? Ha! false
to me—to mo who have loved her so dear
ly V .
ivo.man Is suddenly abandoned to bis
own evil passions; the shocks of the
moral earthquake are distinct and sepa
rate, though they may rapidly succeed
each other.
While be stood soliloquizing under a
lump, bis figure was recognized by two
bacchanals who were staggering home
from a debauch.
‘That’s the husband of the pretty crea
ture you were talking to this afternoon,*
said one; ‘Jet’s banter uim. Hallo I John,
how is it with you, man ?’
He started at this unexpected address;
but perceiving in tbespeakerageutleman
who had formerly served him, he respect
fully saluted them, and observing their
condition, would have passed on, but
they obstructed his path.
T sayi John, bow’s your wife ?’
Ere he could reply, the other chimed
in.
, ‘Look ye, John, I’ll .bet you a guinea
I’ll tell you the color of your wife’s car
ter. What say you, eh ?’
In those days the lower orders were
accustomed to look up to tbeir superiors
iu rank with reverence unknown to their
more liberal educated descendants.—
Smothering his resentment, the husband
replied, iu ill attempted merriment:
‘That would be a bubble bet, sir, as I
don’t remember ever having noticed it
myself.’
‘Say you so my lad? Then look you
here.’ Aud with au air of triumph, he
drew forth and displayed the lost garter!
‘For shame!! said his companion,
snatching at the fancied prize, and thrust
ing it,,as he thought, into his pocket;—
‘never kiss and tell,*
Then with aloud laugh, they reeled off,
hiccupping, 'Good night, John.’
The garter had fallen unnoticed, save
by the unhappy husband, who remained
for some minutes rivited to the spot; bis
faculties were paralyzed. Suddenly he
started, hastily picked up the unlucky
relic, gazed at it for a moment—it was
red— and fled toward home.
It was the first whisper of the fiend (hat
startled him!
lle.ltt himself In, and proceeding to
his chamber, found his wife wrapt in a
peaceful slumber. A pensive sadness
was visible in her countenance, and her
long silken lashes were still wot with the
tear of contrition—the weather was warm
herswau-hke neck was exposed, and one
snowy arm supported her head upon the
pillow. As he gazed upon her beauty
and the traces of recent sorrow, the mem
ory of mutual fond endearment soften
ed his heart', and dispelled, fora moment
all doubt of her innocence, tiiowlybe
approached the bod, to kiss away the re
pefitant tear that lingired on the lid, as
if it to claim on his return renewed love
and confidence, when he trod on some
thing, and looking down, preceived the
slippers and stockings of his wife. The
fiend prompted him to look for her gar
ters. He did so ; (here was but one, and
the color of that one was red !
At that moment hell was busy in tbe
little chamber.
Again ho turned Ills eyes toward tho
bed. and now bis thoughts were ‘goads,
thorns, nettles, tails of wasps;! and hur
rying from the house be did not return
until the morning light was faintly visi
ble In the eastern-sky. The interval had
been passed in dreadful occupation ! On
the bill behind tibam Castle a grave had
been- prepared. He had toiled hard—to
use the words of bis confession—‘to
make it deep, before the morning broke.’
The demons to whom he had resigned
himself lent him supernatural strength.
‘Murder -Was in his heart—Heath in bis
band! Blood and revenge were ham
mering on bis, brain!'
• His Wile was still asleep when he re
turned, and daylight was rapidly increas
ing-
‘Mary, said he, shaking, her, ‘you must
get up.'
‘John,’ said she, rubbing her eyes, ‘but
just returned?’ Where have you been all
night?’
‘Mo mailer.'
‘Why so eafiy ?’ asked she.
‘Nni, ’Us past four.’
He then stab d some reason, which,’if
it did not satisfy her, put an end to further
questions. She was soon dressed and
ready 1 to follow him.
It it needless to attend them In their
rapid progress to the goal of his unhal
lowed labors; their haste precluded dll'
attempts at conversation, though Mary
frequently essayed, in vain to learn their
destination. Uer belief In the unbounded
affection of her husband forbade her'to
suppose that he could, , for one instant,
meditate mischief against her, but she
knew not the dreadful revulsion that had
taken place.
Tired'b'y.llVa'StfiAfrwalk" u"p%’e ascent','
on their arrival at ,the small gateway of
the castle, she asked whither they were
going, and receiving no reply, declared
.pettishly, and she would go no further. .
Ashe turned round, she remarked the
frightful change in his countenance. The
expression she there beheld called up all
iter fears, and, with a stilled cry of hor
ror, site fell upon her knees before him.
Everything conspired against her—the
tremors of terror were mistaken for the
confusion of guilt. As she watched in
agony the scintillating glances of his eye,
he displayed the fatal ribbon, and de
manded, in a voice of uneartby meaning,
hollow and deep.
' where tlul ynn lose tnio-gartcr? l .
In a moment she saw the mistake.
‘Dear John, hear me!’ and she attempt
ed to embrace his knees; but in the same
slow and terrible accents, he interrupted
her.
‘The truth—the truth ; where did yoii
lose this garter ?’ .
. Trembling With apprehension,and with
faltering accents, she replied :
‘I believe—l think—it was somewhere
near this place/
Then, with a frantic yell, and with a
.spring, sudden and quick, the maniac
rushed upon and seized his victim ; her
entreaties for mercy were stifled by suflf-*
ocation.- A.few seconds sufficed to com
plete the hellish deed, and her last strug
gle was succeeded by tho silence of
.death!
Dragging the body to the grave ho had
dug, ho thrust it in, and with frantic
baste shoveled over U the mold and
and stones, till it was level with the
surrounding turf; and having trampled It
into hardness, tho murderer, ceased from
his labors. ’
Thesequeal may be told in a few words.
Tho wretched man did not attempt to
escape,but immediately surrendered him
self to justice.. / .
On the trial, when the circumstances
of the garter were traced and explained,
the effects of tbe‘ evidence upon the pris
oner were extraordinary. Instead ojf be
ing overwhelmed with compunction at
the affecting discovery, the sullen stern
ness be had till then maintained gave
way to a manner resigned and almost
cheerful; the conviction of his wife’s
falsehood-* that blsardentaffection should
have been returned by treachery and dis
honor-had bruised • bis spirit; obscured
lihrfSasoivaud rendered him alike in
different to the present aud the future—,
But the veil hud been removed, the
weight had beerf lightened from his op
pressed mind; and, though he died
strictly penitent, a feeling of.satisfaction
pervaded bis whole demeanor; and he was
frequently heard to repeat, with exulta
tion : -
‘Then she was innocent I She died in
nocent!’ , , -
Singularly tragic as is.this tale, it is
true; and the fact is registered in the an
nals of justice.
AN OPOSSUM STORY.
The New York Citizen tells a good story
of General Lafayette and the opossum.—
Col. Skinner, who is mentioned in the
subjoined article, is still in the land of
tbePharoahs;
When Gen. Lafayette paid a visit to
this country after it bad attained its in
dependence, he expressed a desire to take
iiome with him a specimen of that most
essentially native animal, the opossum.
An intimate friend of his, who was edit
ing a paper at the time in Baltimore, a
near relative of Colonel Skinner, lately
of the Turf, Field and Farm , hearing of
this desire on his part, inserted a notice
to that effect in hi? journal.
Now. Lafayette has always been greatly
and deservedly loved and respected by
the Americans. His name is a household
word with ua. Every resident of our
country at that time would have been
pleased to testify appreciation.of the ser
vices he hud rendered our colonies when
struggling for theirindependence. There
was u determination in the community
to prove to him that republics are not
ungrateful, and no sooner had it become
known that General Lafayette wanted a
’possum, than it was unanimously re
solved that a ’possum he should have at
any of labor and expense of money.
Hence the editor of the paper to which
we have referred was not much surprised
when the coach from Pawtuxent arrived,
and he was informed that it had a box
for bini with an opossum.
He said to himself that is only as it
should be, and felt gratified that General
Lafayette’s wishes had so soon been com
plied with. Our readers must recollect
that in those days stage coaches were all
the go, and that railroads were not then
iu vogue. Hence it took news and ’pos
sums all the longer to travel. When,
however, the Philadelphia couch appear
ed and brought, two more boxes of live
’possums, each containing two lively
specimens, the editor was satisfied that
the country had done its duly : so that,
the next day, when the regular stage
from the Eastern Shore came In and
brought him six additional ’possums the
editor felt that he had enough; but when
the Chesapeake boat landed at the wharf
in Baltimore, and presented him with'
120 vigorous specimens, he began to think
that they were getting too many for him.
Our people are a grateful people. They
proved themselves so conspicuously on
this occasion.. As for the ’possums, the
cry was "still they come.” From North,
from East, from South, from West : by
coach, by-stage, by carriage, by private
as well as by public conveyances, by
steamboat, by rowboat,’ by sailboat; from
Maryland, from Virginia, from Pennsyl
vania, from the Allegheny Mountains,
and possibly from even the Rocky Moun
tains, they poured on iu one steady and
constant stream. In tbe course of two
weeks the enthusiastic friend and admi
rer had accumulated twenty-two hundred
’possums.
But what to dp with them he did not
know. He could not store them sepa
rately, and yet it seemed equally impos
sible to store them together; and finally
he turned them all loose in Monument
Square in Baltimore. Next day the hearts
of the darkey inhabitants in that neigh
borhood were delighted. Colored men
love the wily animal* and ’possurius were
abundant—almost too abundant; they
wandered through the square, aud they
climbed on tbe stoops of the houses; they
hung.on the eaves, perched on the peaks,
mounted tbe chimneys* gathered on the
Monument, and clung to every place
where It was possible for a ’possum to
cling* and there they remained, slowly
dispersing themselves through the city,
a lasting evidence of the high character
of our peopleTu their devotion to those
public men who arc true to them dud
help them in time of national distress.
Lafayette never wanted for a ’possum
aftorward, but Baltimore editors have no
admiration for them.
Tub following dialogue, which took
place in a Chestnut street car, is too good
to be lost: ..
One of a couple of Teutorilogentlemeu,
sitting in one corner of the cur, seeing a
■‘Husky” dressed fellow come In and take
a seat at an opposite corner, asked :
“Who Ish dut, Hans?”
"Oh, dat Ish a spbort-”
"Vat you call a spbort; oh ?"
"You know what a sport Ish?”
“Nix, vat iab ho?”
"Veil, he Isb one of der fellers vat
sbufcs all der hair off a pig, uiit covers
him over mit soup, uut bet a green
Dutchman live tollers he can nix catch
him."
A SHARBY-DENTEEL MAN.
■ Col, Frederick was son of that unhappy
adventurer, Theodore, King of Corsica.
He joined his father, who died at Soho,
London, in 1750. and supported himself
as'a teacher of languages—a not uncom
mon resource fonpoor gentlemen, and of
emigres In particular,, In the miserable
wreck of his fortunes, and through •'the
agonies of deterred hope, ho still preserv
ed the great seal and regalia of Corsica.*
,The..ColQuel t J.tt.eflCly.,Jlfe,A«.;a.npedy,
gentleman, had been reading secretary
to Frederick the Great, who treated him
with that agreeable Prussian pride that
hears so lightly omfhe unfortunate. The
King always kept him standing while he
read his foolish verses and literary essays
to Voltaire and other guests seated at his
table. Weary of this the colonel applied.
to his relation* the Duke of Wurtemberg,
who offered him protection at his court.
When the King of Prussia was informed
of this, he said cruelly : * And you may
go ; it is fit that one beggar should live
with another.’ -
He was once in such distress at the
omipf.nf Vionno, na to Imvo gone IOF two
whole days without food. Pale and faint,
on the third day he contrived, to reach
the house of a lady in attendance at the
court, whose Interest to advance his peti
tion with the emperor he had before tried
to secure. Seeing too'plainly from his
weak voice and faltering, dejected man
ner, that ho was ill, the woman's heart
was touched; dhe Instantly rang the bell,
ordered the well-fed, blooming footman
to bring in a dish of chocolate and some
cakes; and when ho was cheered and
heartened up, listened to his request. In
ambush, behind that footman, Cupid stole
in on tip-toe; they fell in love with each
other, and married. Their life was hard
and painful; yet love and happiness soon
brightened their poor lodgings* One of
the sons, an elegant young man, became
an officer in the English army, and was
killed in tho American war. One day,
when the colonel was wltb his father in
the King’s Bench, Sir John Stewart, a
fellow prisoner, invited Lady Jane Doug
lass and her*child, the claimant of the
great Douglass-Hamiltou case; and King
Theodore and his son were of the party.
The feast culminated, in a turkey. The
prison-walls fell flat as those of Jericho
beforethe pleasant enchantment of a bot
tle or two of wine. When the party broke
up, the young prince offered to see Lady
Jane home to her obscure lodgings at
Chelsa.. A slight rain came on, and the
young officer longed to call a coach, but
he had no money, and ho was afraid that
Lady Jane bad none either ; so, defiant
of all suspicion of meanness and poverty,
he undertook tbechildand trudged away.
This son of a King suffered much of
fortune, and the clouds grew darker and
darker to the end. To this claimant of a
crown, creditors’ faces weflb only top fa
miliar. .When Stanislaus, Prince Ponia
towski, afterward the last king of Poland,
was here, the only companion of bis long
walks was Colonel Frederick. On one
occasion the Prince, having some bills to
discount in the city, and'not getting the
money that day, went for a walk around
Islington, and returned to a. dinner of
rump-stenka and porter at Dolly's chop
house, in Paternoster row. After they
finished a bottle of porter, the mauvais
quart d'heure came, as it will come, and
the bill was brought. The prince blandly
approved, and desired Frederick to pay.
‘But I have no money;’
‘No more have I; what are we to do?’
Frederick paused ; then desiring the
prince to remain quiet, ran put and soon
pledged bis watch, and discharged the
reckoning. . -
Ceaselessly and cruelly fortune pelted
■the colonel with her sleet and cutting
rain. His lodgings in Northumberland
street Were burnt down, and he had to
fly half nude to the houseof Mr. Sterling,
officiating coroner for Middlesex, who
generously offered him a gratuitous asy
lum, where he resided for many years,
reading the classics, and discussed the
German generals of the day, according
to his wont. The colonel’s life Was one,,
of blameless routine. He rose up early,
lighted his own fire, cleaned his own
boots, then took a breakfast cooked by
himself, and read the classics; then it was
time for him to take his contsitutional
and visit bis friends. At last fortune,
tired of playing with her victim, struck
the coup de grace. The old colonel, be
loved aud respected by his friends,'in a
rash moment accepted two notes for a
friend, a ‘trading justice.’ The man died
before tbe notes became due, and the city
people came down on tbe colonel. He
bad no money; he dreaded disgrace and
a jail; his old despondency preyed on him
with the weight of madness. He thought
of bis favorite heroes in Tacitus and in
Plutarch, and resolved to die as they died.
He borrowed a pistol of a friend, and be
shot himself one evening in the church
yard of St. Margaret, in Westminster.—
Tormented by fortune to tbe last, died
the sou of the first and only King of the
Island of Corsica,
Better Without Them. —The im
ported English sparrows,whose efficiency
in destroying the canker worms has been
such a blessing to some of our cities, are
beginning to get a bad name, aud some
people declare that bringing them here
at all was a mistake, in the cities their
conduct is admitted to be exemplary and
tbeir usefulness indisputable; but in the
rural districts they are reported to be
guilty of various transgressions and fail
ures in duty. Everybody knows, and the
sparrows ought to know as well as any
body, that they were brought into this
country for the special purpose of helping
to keep the canker worms in subjection;
Yet-they are accused of shamefully ne
glecting this .charge and rioting in the
farmers’ grain-fields, quite indifferent to
the fact that*mi!lions of the odious little
green crawling things are devouring the
leaves of the apple and elm; trees close
by. It js also charged against them that
they show an intolerably insolent and
tyrannical disposition towards the native
birds of our woods and orchards. The
robin, as he returns In the spring to his
favorite, apple tree, finds a pert and pug
nacious sparrow already in possession,
.who not only defies him to occupy his
accustomed summer quarters, but will
not tolerate bis presence in the neighbor
hood. Tbe oriole, is made an object of
jbis Impudentsquater’s persecutions, and
is driven away from places which he has
haunted for many years with bis dashes
of brilliant color and his sudden bursts of
plaintive melody. Tbe sparrow, piquant
‘ and picturesque as he Is, has neither tbe
beauty nor the musical gifts to make good
the place of these birds whom he'now
threatens to drive away fiom the neigh
borhood of our homes.
Mobai. Courage.— Have the courage
to face a difficulty, lest it kick you harder
than you bargained fof. Difficulties, like
thieves, often disappear at a glance. You
should have the courage to leave a con
vivial party at the proper hour for doing
so, however great the saorilloe ; and to
stay away from one upon the slightest
grounds for objection, however great the
temptation to go. Have the courage to
do without that which you do not need,
however much you may admire it Have
the courage to speak your mind when It
Is necessary that you should do so, and
hold your tongue when it is better you
■should be siielit; — To~
speak to a poor friend in a seedy coat,
even in the street, and when a rlch ouo
one Is nigh. The effort is less than many
people take It to bo, and the act Is worthy
of a king. Have the courage to admit’
that you have been in the wrong, and
you will remove the fact in the mind of
others, putting a desirable impression In
the place of an unfavorable one. Have
the courage to adhere to the first resolu
tion when you cannot change it for a
better, and to abandon it at the eleventh
hour upon conviction. Have the courage
to cut the most agreeable acquaintance
you possess, when he convinces you that
be lacks,principle. “ A friend should
bear with a friend’s Infirmities”—but not
his vices.
VOL. 58.—N0. 3.
TWO LIVING EVES IN THE PICTURE.
The following ourloua adventure Is said
to, have happened In Bath, England, In
the year 17i/— , and the lady who narrated
It to the writer was In those days a young
girl etaylng In the house. It was In, the
palmy days of Bath, when that now (alien
city rivalled London In brilliancy and in
dissipation, and when all the rich, the
gay, and the high-born of England con
gregated there In the season and graced
the balls and assemblies.
'jrfa.Tt'-^'roilcothe'benoorthecourt
of George 111., but at this period she'was
gradually retiring trom general society,
possessed one of the largest of the old
houses, and gave in it entertainments
which were the most popular of the day.
Sho-wascelebrated for three things; (once
for four, but the fourth—her beauty—was
of the days gone by;) these things were
her fascination, her benevolence, and a
set of the most matchless amethysts.
Her house contained tapestried cham
bers. The walls of the one in which she
slept were hung around with designs from
heathen mythology, and the finest piece
in tho room vrao that wliluti OV6f
her dressing-table. It represented Phoe
bus driving the Chariot of the Sun. The
figures and hoi sea being life size, it filled
up the whole space, between two of the
windows; and the horses were, concealed
behind the high, old-fashioned Venltian
looking glass; while Phoebus himself, six
feet high, looked down by night and by.
day upon the mistress at her toilette.
One evening Mrs. R—— had an unusu
ally large party at home. She wore all
her amethysts. On retiring to her room,
about four o’clock in the morning, she
took off ail her jewels, laid them on the
table, and dismissing the weary maid,'
intended to away herself, but
before doing so knelt down, as usual, to
her prayers. While engaged in her de
votions, it was a habit with her to -look
upward, and the face of Phoebus was
generally her point of sight, as it were,
and the object on which her eyes most
easily rested.
On this particular night, as usual, she
raised her eyes to. Phoebus. What does
she see? Has Pygmalion been here at
work? Has he filled these dull silk eyes
with vital fire? O? la shedreaming? -No.
Possessed naturally of wonderful courage
and calmness, she continued to move tier
lips as if in silent prayer, and never once
withdrew her gaze, and still the eyes
looked down on hers. The light of ber
candle shone distinctly on liquid, living
orbs, and her good keen sight enabled
her, after a cleverly managed scrutiny, to
see that the tapestried eyes, of Phoebus
had been out out, and that, with her door
locked, and the servants in bed in their
distant apartments, and all her jewels
spread out before her, she was' not alone
in her room.
She concluded her prayers with her
face bidden in her hands. We can all
welUmagine what those last prayers must
have been. She knew there was some
one behind that tapestry; she knew that
hells and screams were equally useless,
and,sbe lay down In her bed as usual, and
awaited the issue, her only omission be
ing that she did not put away her jewels.
“They may save my life,” said she to
herself, and she closed her eyes.
The clock struck live before a sound
was heard, and then the moment arrived.
She beard a rustle, a descent from behind
the tapestry, and a man suddenly stood
at her dressing-table. He took off his
coat, and one by one be secured beneath
his waistcoat the jewels. What would be
his next move? Would it be to her bed
side, or to the door or window? He now
turned and approached her bedside; but
she bad seen enough; and again closing
her eyes, resigned' herself to that Divine
Providence whose Protection she had Just
been craving. The man wan her own
coacftman / ’ ’ ■
Apparently satisfied by- a brief glance
under his dark lantern that be bad not
disturbed her, he quietly unlocked ber
door, and left her. For two hours—they
roust have seemed two days—she.allowed
the bouse to remain unaiarmed, her only
movement having been to relock the door
which her living Phccbus bad left ajar.
At seven in the morning, she rang her
bell and ordered her carriage round im
mediately after breakfast. Ail this was -,
according to ber usual On the
box wasa man who had cost ber a night’s
rest, and most probably all ber jewels.—
However, she drove off; she wentstraight
to the bouse of a magistrate.
‘Seize-my coachman,’said she—'secure
him and search him. I have been robbed,
and I can hardly think be has had time
to disencumber hiraslf of the jewels he
has taken from me.’
She was obeyed, and she was right; the
amethysts were still about him, and he
gave himself up without a struggle. All
bo said was ; ‘ I wish ndw I had killed
her. I meant to Jo it, only ’she was so
good I hadn’t the heart.’
It is most probable that after this ex
citing episode the tapestry of that bed
chamber was remorselessly condemned,
and the eyeless Fhcobus was consigned
to oblivion.
As to Low Dbesses.— Most fashions
owe their origin to an attempt to give
prominence to the strong point or hide
the weak point of a king or queen. Thus
powder came into vogue to conceal a
queen’s gray hair, and large “ perukes”
because a king was bald. We learn, how
ever, from a Belgian paper, that the cus
tom of the ladies exhibiting their bust in
ad the beauty of nature has a far more
romantic origin. In a battle in which
the French were engaged, (all dates we
may mention are in reserve,) their ranks
were broken and they were routed.—
When they retreated their women bared
their breasts, and entreated them to pierce
them rather than permit them to fall into
the hands of the foe. This was too much
for the gallant Oauls. Nerved with fresh
courage they turned, renewed the contest,
and-were victorious. From that period,
French women have on festal occasions
always been accustomed to wear their
dresses low. In fact, when you see one
who appears to have forgotten the tipper
part of her dress, It Is no proof of indeli
cacy, but simply an indication of the vast
power of national sentiment. This sat
isfactorily explains what many ignorant
people have taken for impropriety. We
live and learn.
Flowers may be arranged Tor bocpiets
either to the harmony or contrasts ol col
ors. Red harmonizes with orange, or
ange with yellow, violet with red, green
with blue. Green is the contrast to red,
sky-blue to orange, yellow to violet, blue
to orange-red, indigo to orange-yellow,
and violet to bluish-green. To find the
contrast to any flower, cut a Small circu
lar piece out of one of its petals ; place it
upon whitepaper, iook'at it steadily with
one eye for a few seoopds, without let
ting the eyelids close, then look from
the colored circle to another part of the
white paper, when a circle of an other
qplor will be apparent. This color Is the
true contrast or complementary color.—
Tastes differ os to whether the effect of
arranging the flowers according to con
trast or complementary color is more
pleasing to the eye than acoofdin tog har
monize. The former, however, is the
most favored. To carry .lt out, a blue
should be placed next toon orange flow
er, a yellow near n violet, and a red or
white should iiave plenty of foliage
around it. White contrasts with blue or
-orangeroystill-better-wlth-red-or-pi-B
but not yellow or violet
Some one sends us tbe following: “A
prominent dry goods merchant In tljls
city worked half an hour on tiro follow
ing proposition, and failed to givo the
answer; If four men build a stone wall
in nine days, bow long will it take five
men to build a like wall in six days.”
A good story is told of a German shoe
maker in Utica, who having made a
pair of boots for a gentleman of whose
financial integilty ho hqd considerable
doubt, made the following reply to him
when ho called for the bools: "lier pools
ish not quite done, but der hill ish made
out.
Bates for StiimiteinQ.
AnvxßTisKMKirra will Do inserted atTon;con(a
per lino for tho first lnsertlon r and five cents
per lino for each subsequent insertion. Quar
terly half-yearly, advertisements In*
erted at n liberal reduction on tho abovo rales.
Advertisements should bo accompanied by tho
Cash. When sent without any length of time
specified for publication, they will bo continued
until ordered out and onarged accordingly
JOB PRINTING.
C'AfiDB.HAKDfiiLLS, oiRdUhABS, and every OtU
cr description ot Oahi> Printing.
No wonder that the female sex are so
obstinate. The Latin name for a woman
is *' mulicr '
Cabbage is aald to act on the brain.— s *
On the principle, may be, that one head
affects another.
AN'old bachelor says that during leap'
year the ladles jump at every offer of
marriage—hence the term.
A'YOliKtl’iualv’itlCallfornlaßhorat"a
(log and killed a preacher. That was
making game of the gospel.
Don.t let your cattlcrstray; they ofteu
wander to the moat mysterious places.—
We once sjiw a cow hide in a shoemaker
shop.
A Western man being recently invi
ted to a seat on tbe floor of the house at
Washington indignantly refused, saying
that he was accustomed to sit-ou chairs
at home.
“This milk fa rather warm for such a
cold morning,* 1 said u customer, the oth
er day, ton milk-boy. "Yes, faiher put
hot water in it, instead of cold, to keep
it from freezing,” was the simple but
truthful reply.
An exchange says : ‘‘We are in receipt
of two poems—one on the ‘Throbbing
Braiu,’ and the other on a ‘Beating
Heart.' We will wait until we receive
one of the'Stomach Ache,’ and publish
all three together.”
A man in Yorkshire, while a collec
tion was being made to aid tbe heathen
pocketed all the money in the plate.—
When asked to explain his conduct, he
said bo was the greatest heathen in that
part of the country.
The earth is said to be growing smaller.
In two thousand millions of years it will
be as small as Rhode Island, whore they
are now unable to shoot woodcock with
the finest bird, shot, for fear of shooting
into some other State.
An Indianapolis gentleman’s claim
for a divorce is based on the ground that
when he married, four weeks ago, his
wife’s hair,was black, but now it is rod
enough to entitle her to the front rank
in a torchlight procession. . ,
Thousands, of wild geese got’lost by
getting into the smoke in flying over
Pittsburg the other day, and they flew
around there for several .hours, when fi
nally a man came along with a lantern
and they followed him oil into the conn
try.
The coal troubles remind us of an old
story. Scene, Boston ; lime, morning.—
“Is,it cold, Bill?' 1 “Werry cold, father."
“Is the gutters froze, Billy ?’’ “Werry
hard, father.” “Dear, dear!. Put up
the coal two-pence a pail, Billy. God
help the poor.”
It is said that the benevolent Mr.
Greeley, on meeting the other day on
Broadway, New York, a poor organ
grinding Federal soldier, with oply one
leg and one arm, gave him a pamphlet
on deep plowing, and recommended him
to "go out West!” ’
A Kentuckian has killed himself at
the early age of ninety, by drinking a
pint of whiskey daily, for the brief period
of thirty years, and the temperance press
points to his untimely end as an illustra
tion of how swiftly retribution follows a
vicious course.
A man at Springfield presented a pis
tol to the head of a young man and quo
ted Shakespeare as follows: VMarry my
daughter in five minutes, or you are a
dead man.” The young man gave his
consent. He said he. didn’t want to ap
pear unaccommodating.
Mr. Si'kicigins is a little forgetful
sometimes. He counted his children the
other night, but could only make four
teen. "How 1s this?” lie asked his wife,
•‘I thought there were fifteen of them.”
“So there were,” answered his wife;.“but
little Sammy was drowned since then.”
“Indeed,”said Spriggins, meditatively;
“why it seems to me I heard of it at the
Ime.”
It is stated of Mr. Seward that he has
been unable for two years, from paraly
sis, to raise a glass of water to his lips.—
Paralysis has hitagreat many prominent
men in the. same place. There is Dick
Yates, and Chandler, and the President,
who have not been able to raise a glass
of water to their lips since Smith’s cow
choked to death with that potato in her
throat.
Gen. Bu'lt.kb and Wendell Phillips
were in the gardep of the White House
waiting to see the President. They
were kept there for some while,, when
Butler, picking up a hatchet, began cut
ting the trees to beguile the time. Grant
soon after appeared, and asked, “who
has been hacking these trees?” Butler
answered, “I cannot tell a lie, Mr. Pres
ident : it was Wendell Phillips.”
A JtAN in Boston last week buried his
sixth wife. When the following day he
called upon the preacher, he offered him
three dollars for his trouble. The minis
ter, however, declined to take it, saying
he was not accustomed to accept pay for
such services, to which the bereaved
husband, returning the greenbacks to
his pocket, replied, “.lust as you say; but
that is whin 1 have been in the habit of
paying.”
Mb. Lincoln was exceedingly aslon
ished one day, as he was inspecting the
prison ip Washington, by a prisoner
who familiarly said to him :.“How are
you Mr. President, I’m glad to see you.
I believe you and I have been in every
jail In the Union.” "This and the jail
in Springfield are the only ones I was
in my life,’” said Mr. Lincoln. —
“Very likely,” responded tile rough, but
I’ve been in all the rest.”
The following inscription is over the
door of a house io a small village on the
Isle of Ely: Shaving done at a penny
each—Hare oiled ana powdered in the
bargain—Also Reding Biting and Spelin
taut according to the rule of Grammar,
and ceare takiu of there morels at Gd a
week. N. B. Godfree's Cordial, Eud
rules, Rud Aerens, Potatoes sassages and
oilier garden Stull’ to bo sold by there
umble servant, James Qrudy;;
V
'•Get Up in the Moeninci.— I These are
Just the sort of mornings to get up bright
and early and take a summer promenade,
or a break o’ day drive while the "dew
is yet on the hawthorn hedge,” and tire
merry milk-maid meanders in meadows
after '‘old brindle.” Splendid sport sun
rise strolls—at least we presume it is.—
That’s what the poets say. Wo 'never
tried the thing. But then .it must be
magnificent—to watchiug\tbo glorious
orb of day peep' peerlessly over the caslT "\
ern hills—and go about all day yawning
and nodding nodding and yawning, de
daring that it’s the longest day you ever
passed. Let others choose tbe early
morning hours, with its rosy, regal re
splendent rays, but a delioloua.doze—a...
sweet, sultanlsh snooze is quite as weli
for us.
How He Knew Hiii.-4 distinguish
ed professor in one of our theological
seminaries relates the following: Being
in Germany, with a red covered book In
-bis-bahdrwGerraau-.-Buppeslug-t’iie-boofe
to be ‘‘Muaray,” asked in English, if bo
was not an Englishman? The professor,
replied in German that hewasnot. The
conversation presently turned upon an
object of architectural beauty near at
hand, in the course of which tbe profes
sor incidentally raised the question of its
cost. “Sir,” exclaimed the German in
stantly, "you are an American!” “How
do you know that?'’rejoined the profes
sor- ‘‘Sir," continued the GermapJ
drying an . attitude, and assuming a
tone-of great solemnity, ‘‘upon the res
urrection morn, when we stand before
the Great White Throne, the first ques
tion of every American in the whole as
sembly will be,'‘How much did that
hrone cost ”
HtT--