Uoluntca. '
. two Dollars per year If paid strictly
«* IH, "IT two Dnllarsaud Fifty Cents if paid
d f *.9^imonths: Hrtor which Three Dollars
11111 { l ir ™wl These terms will he rigidly ad- —“ ;
instance. . No subscription din- *
fJt " 1,,nt1l all arrearages are paid, unless at I) V
goSftheKdlior. - :
professional- (flatus.
i "~"
[DMBICH & PARKER,
I , ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
flea on Main Street, in Marion Hall; Car
iV' /qoodf
Hedstates claim /t __t
AND /' X Jtl
UL ESTATE AGENCY!
11, B. BUTLER t Q Qrr
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
.m ‘M story of InhofTa Building, No. 3 Sonth
i«r Street, Carlisle, Cumberland county Market
Ultins, Bounties, Back Pay, Ac., promptly
Kitlons by mail, will receive immediate
iinn ned fre
iii’iilnrattontlon given to the selling or rent-
: Rwil E-ante, In town or conntry. In all let- of
, inqnirv, please enclose postage fctamp,
y .11.W-tf
7. beltziiooveb, IND
iTIOItNE V-AT-LAW,
CARLIRM. PA. whlC
nfflro on South Hanover Street, opposite J 0 80 '
s’a ilrv goods store,
j.iwfi. •
M. J. SHEARER. ATTORNEY AND
rnnsHKLi.oß at Law, has removed his
lo the hitherto unoccupied room in the . 17
East corner of the Court House. •*
fI.’CT-iy . (
ICRNNEDY, Attornky at Law
Pemia. Office same as that of
rnorlran Volunteer.” •
I |K(I3 •
JES H, GRAHAM, Jh., ~
ATTORNEY-AT LAW,.
KO.Ii S6TUH HANOVER ST.,
CARLISLE. PA.
[PR-Acljolnlug Judge Graham’s,
h 31,1H70-— tf .
h. SFIRYOOK. Justice of tha
'enco. Office No 3, Irvin’s Row. Carlis. 0.
OF/)R«E 8. SEARIGHT, Den
7T. F'rnm the Baltimore Onlfepe of Dental
. Ofllwat. the residence of his mother.
luther street, three doors below Bedford
, Penna.
IK#«. •
I. B. REYNOLDS, M. D t
iftte of HAHNEMANN MEDICAL COL-
Philndelphla.
21 West Loather St., at residence of his
.(’iirllsle. .
), 70-Sin*
I. Y. REED, Homeopathic Phy
\n. Ims located in Carlisle, Office next
1 St. Paul’s Evantilllcal Church, West
street. Patients from a distance please
tie forenoon.
1 17.1H70— »m* .
3. B. HXRONS, Attorney and
C OUrrfJELOfI AT L4W,
rirrn btrfut, below chestnut,
Cor. Library;
Philadelphia.
I'sd-iy
feats anb ®avs
38H SUMMER A BE IV A L
or AIL TUB
NEW STYLES
ATS AND CAPS.
bßcriher Has Just opened at No, 15 North
Street, a' few doors North of the Carlisle
Hunk, one of the largest and best. Stocks
aq<] CAPS over offered In Carlisle,
ills. Ciuwlirtw*** of ftll styles ami qualities,
.is. different. colors, and every desorlp
ifl Hats now .hade.
knknrd. and Old Fashioned Brush, con
fin hand and made to order, all warrant
ee satisfaction.
\ full assm tmont of
MEN’S,
BOY’S, AND
CHILDREN’S.
HATS.
minified to ray Stock, notions of differ
|i, consisting of '
AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS
», Suspenders,
'Jan, Qloves,
i iVnctf.t, Thread,
Sewing Silk, ' Umbrellas, <t*
|e segabs and tobacco
I ALWAYS ON HAND.
Sea call, ami examine ray stock as I feel
itof pleasing all, besides saving ypu rao-
JOHN A. KELLER, Aaenl ,
No. IGNortli Hanover Street.
P AND CAPS I
)U WANT A NICE HAT OR CAP 7
[lp so. Don’t Fail to Call ov
j J.G.CALLIO,
NO. 29, ICES? MA IN STRKBT,
VQ be seen the fluent usßorcment of ,
JATS and CA PS
Oglu to Carlisle. He takes great pleas-
Avuing his old friends and customers,
jlw-mips, to his splendid stock Just re
fill New York and Philadelphia, con*
Span of fine
ILK AND CASSIMERE HATS,
u endless variety of Hats and Caps of
Butyls, all ol which he will sell at the
m Price*. Also, his own manufacture
Hwayu on baud, and
8 MANUFACTURED TO ORDER.
the best arrangement for coloring Hats
mdsof Woolen Goods, Overcoats,«tc., uf
hi notice (as he colors every week) and
ht reasonable terras. Also, a fine lot of
finds of -
DBACCO AND CIGARS
I hand. He desires to call tbeattentlon
Pwho have
COUNTR Y FURS
k pays the highest cash prices for lie
% a call, at the above number, his dd
Ipe feels confident of giving entire sa .Is*
pootg anß Slioes.
OHJI (Sc SPON.sr.F.R,
9j13 owh Hanover Street ,
CARLISLE, PA.
for the patronage extended' .them
Kb»*.9 oW announce tholr usual lore*
WaPUINa STYLEaof
OOTS AND SHOES
•FOR
AND MISSES'.'
CENTS’ AND BOYS’, 1
YOUTHS’ AND~OHILD3’ f
unrivaled for comfort and beauty
NKS AND VALIS3E3
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY.
33rn (ffioo&B.
GOODSI
D. A. SAWYER,
Irvine’s' Corner,
Opposite Market House.
Haa Just returned from the city with an on
;lro now slock, of
PALL AND WINTER DRY GOODS
All of which have been purchased for cash and
will bo eold on short p rolits.
We have everything kept m a
FIRST CLASS DRY GOOD STORE
Wo have the advantage of a resident buyer In
the city, who is able at all times to furnish us
with bargains and watch the markets.
Wo wish everybody to call and examine our
stock before purchasing elsewhere, os you will
bo convinced what wo have at the
CHEAP STORE,
and mpnoy can bo saved in buying from us.
D. A. SAWYER.
Sep.,l. 1870.
GOODS! DRY GOODS!
attractive specialties
HARPER’S
I'liPEtlt DRV GOODS STORE.
Pure tased during ±ne greatest depression In
the market, and to ue sold at correspondingly
low prices,. ..
uom South America. Striking a sunken
reef of I lie dangerous shore of Florida, she
was wrecked, and very few ofthe passen-.
gers or seamen escaped.- The owner, who
was also Captain, was drowned. His heirs
lived in New York. It appears (he ves--
sel had settled'down in the ocean, having
escaped the attack of any storm, so as
might he supposed, her cargo would be
pretty well recoverable, but it was a use
less and foolish attempt to try to pet any
thing from her In a lonely sea and on a
dunperous coast. However, one of those
men whom nature has formed for the
nnt-of the-way modes of getting money in
this world, having obtained the consent
of the heirs in New York, fitted out a
large yacht, and promising money only
on condition of success, I was.prompted
to hazard the spec—it agreed with my
adventitious ciiSfmoUion, and T* r
tides and shipped myaeir. After..R vft de'rtf"
of trouble we picked up another diver, a
coarse bnitql, drunken rascal, whose con-,
duct us hereafter seen, will sufficiently
Linen Ducks ana Drills, justify these remarks. Prom the hecin-
DRESS GOODS,
comprising all the novelties of the season.
MOURNING AND
SECOND MOURNING GOODS,
BLACK BILKX, BLACK SATIN TAMISE
In extraquality. Pure Mohairs, Biack Alpaca
(Specialty.) ’ *
WH ITE GOODS,
Piques in great variety and latest styles.—
French Muslins, Nanaonks, Cambrics, Bishop
and > ictorla Lawns, Tarletons, <fcc. f See.
HOSIERY AND GLOVES In great variety.
Guipure Laces—nest ana cheapest stock Id
town. Krai Valenciennes. Thread t,nnea. in
settings, Hamburg Embroideries and Lace
Collars.
LISTEN GOODS,
Linen for suits,
Pillow Case Linens,
14 ~ Linen Sheetings.
White Holland for Blinds,
Table Linens and Napkins,
Doyllo Towels,
White Spreads, Ac., Ac.
BOYS’ CASSIMERES AND MEN’S WEAR
newest styles, less than regular rates*
SPECIAL NOTICE!
Opening of
LLAMA LACE POINTS,
LLAMA LACE ROCKS.
BEDOUIN MANTLES,
„ SHETLAND SHAWIA
i THUS. A. HARPER.
_ ‘ Cor. of Hanover and Pomlret Sts.
Juno 23,187'.
Q.REAT COMMOTION
DRY GOODS,
On account of the reduction In Gold, the Dry
Goods Merchants who understand their business
ind the certain signs of the times, have reduced
thep-lceoi their goods correspondingly, Thesub
scrlhers have Just received from the cities a
large and full assortment of all Hinds of
FOREIGN & STAPLE GOODS,
which they will soil lower than they have done
since 1801. ;
SILKS.
Wool Do Lalnes, Alpacas, Poplins, Serges, Bom
huziues, Tamlse Cloth, Grenadines.
FLANNELS OF ALL KINDS,,
Plain and Fancy, Linen Table Diapers, Cotton
do., Checks, Tickings, Ginghams, Counterpanes
EMBROIDERIES,
a full line; White Goods In great variety,
HOSIERY, GLOVES,-TRIMMINGS
p nd a full stock
DOiMESTIC GOODS,
Calicoes, Muslins, by the piece or yard; Grain
hags,
CLOTHS, CABSXMERS, &c..
CARPETS, OIL CLOTHS,
Druggets, Window Shades. Matting'
. MI-LINERY GOODS
of all kinds. Including Ladles and Childrens
Hats and Sundowns, and the best assortment
and held qnalltyof line Ribbons lathe county.—
ICld Gloves, (best make,) Jewelry, Fancy Goods
and Notions In great variety. This
MAMMOTH SIOCK OF GOODS
(no largest In this section of country. Is offered
a. prices that defy competition, and all we ask
is a fair examination by good Judges of goods to
satisfy the public that this is the place to buy
and save money.
LADIES* UNDER WEAR,
A, nice assortment of Ladles’ Under Clothing
very handsomely stitched and trimmed at
reasonable prices. •.
WOOL taken in exchange for goods.
At the old Drj Goeds stand established Feb
ruary Ist. IW ’
March 80—70
J. li. STERN EH'E
LIVERY AND &ALE SABLL
BETWEEN HANOVER AND EITFCUD SI
IN, THE BEAR OF BENTZ HOUSE
CARLISLE, PA.
Having fitted up the Stable with now Carri
ages, Ac., 1 am prepared to furnish first-class
turn-outs at reasonable rates. Parties taken of
and from the springs.
A WORD TO CONSUMP JIVES.—
Being anbunuud practical ireutibe ou the
uaii.fli'o, cuuueß, and symptoms of pulmonurj
Com uiuptu.u, liroLicliiiiu ami annumi, uuu
elicit, piovontlou, treatment, uua emu by in
imlurioii. beut by uml' -ee.
Addetwn , VANIiUMMJfiLL, M*P
0, vVudi Fourteoathjstreet, N. Y»
June 10, l»vo— 7
There Is fi lesson inculcated In the following
lines, which if taken Into nil our he rtswouhl
make this .world brighter, more beautiful and
happy, to the poor and unfortunate, for It Is n
lesson of charity.. Many a sensitive soul would
bo spared bitter pangs, and many wandering
ones reclaimed tollvosof truth and goodness.—
So, In-reading these lines, let ns all remember
how sublime a virtue Is charily:
NEW GOOD S
At home orawny. In thenllov or street,
Whenever I chanced In thlSwlde world to meet
A girl that Is thoughtless, ora hoy that is wild.
My heart echoes sadly, “Tls soipo mother's
child}” .
And whefl 1 see those o’er whom long years have
rolled, •
Whose hearts have grown hardened, whoso
spirits are cold,
Bo It women all lallen.orman all defiled, •
A voice whispers sadly, "Ah! some mother’s
child J"
No matter how far from the right she hath
strayed;
No matter what Inroads dishonor hath made; ,
No matter what element.cankered the Pearl;
Though tarnished and sullied, she’s some moth
er’s girl...
No matter how way word his footsteps have been;
No matter how deep he Is sunken In sin;
No matter how low la hla standard of joy—
Though gulity and loathsome, lie la some moth*
er’s boy. '
That head hath been ?plllowed on tenderest
hreaPt,
That form hath been wept o’er, those lips have
been pressed ;
That soul hath been prayed for In tones sweet
and mild;
For her sake deal gently with some “mother’s
child.’’
r
[From Once a TllfeA,]
* THE TWO DIVERS-
I, Watts Brrtwn, follow a very hazar
dous calling, or. at all events, one, in
which, if yon choose to face dangers for
the sake of higher remuneration, pe lioua
adventures are common enough. I am
not too presumptuous when T say I nm
as brave as mqpt merv, naturally, and my
sense of fear has been further blunted by
a constant companionship with danger.
The adventure I am about to narrate was
horrible enough to me when T was a prin
cipal actor in it, and to this day an invol
untary shudder of horror always accom
panies the recollection of it.
Pome years ago a large vessel laden with
a mixed cargo, was bound to New York
iilng 1 had a kind of antipathy against
the fellow, ami shrank from hissocietyas
from some loathsome reptile. His profile
was that of a. hahoon ; his eyes peering
from under hie heavy brows, twinkled
with a Satanic wickedness and seemed to
he looking all ways at once; and when
he laughed his shtaiuc majesty himself
might have emied his ugly grin. MV
employer shunned him, and would glad
ly have parted with him, hut no other
could be got to engage in such a foolhardy
scheme.
Having got the diving hell and other
apparatus on board, we at last ret sail on
this novel pursuit of The voyage
was fine, and having nothing to do 1 en
joyed it very much, and was even soften
ing toward my fellow diver when we
reached that part of the coast of Florida
where tl.e sunken wreck lay, and where
mir fortunes tfere buried beneath the.
waves.
We were a considerable time discover
ing the wreck, hut we found it at Inst, far
down in the depths of the still blue sea.
where troops of sharks were pursuing
each other about and through it for want
of betterprey. No pleasant sight, I can
assure yon. My fellow diver gave them
a fearful curse, and took an extra long
pull at his brandy flask. . As for myself,
the affair seemed. more dangerous than
ever. The vessel would have to he moored
above a of reefs, and if a storm were
to arise, ill fate would catch us, for there
is little mercy to be expected for a ship
from the cruel and jogged coral. How
ever I plucked up the very beat courage*
saying to myself, “my-dear fellow, the
more danger the more money.” Jim
Crow—that was my diver’s name—gave
utterance to a .no wise pleasant cut'.h
about having been swindled, muttering
at the end, “But I'll pay them off duced
sharper I’m not—’’concluding his sen
tence very suspiciously, which did not
tend lo increase my confidence respecting
liis intentions .
We pulled hack to the ship, after plac
ing a buoy to mark the spot. The two
nextdav«Jim (’row and I were busy in
preparing our things lortheattackon the
nuitlu-n ship. The th*« ol my thoughts
was checked to my work, hut I still no
ticed that Crow was inau evil mood. Af
ter about four daj s were spent the ship
was anchored. The bell was swung for
the plunge, and the Crow ami I went
below and dressed. My suspicions seem
ed now on the increase, ami my reader
may think that I was very fearful, hut
I provided myself wlilfa long and sharp
kntle, which I stuck unobserved down
my long leathern boot. Crow' atuok
one in his belt saying, with a rather dia
holical laugh, ‘I think it Is better being
prepared for water sharks,’ and I almost
think he added ‘hind sharks.’ This
opened my e.>esa little, and some rather
curious speculations flitted through my
bruin. Ho was a man to be feared, being
hugley big aud strong, and wicked with
ol •
With many such reflections I took my
place in the bell, and amidst the hurrahs
of the crew and the excitement of the
master, we dipped Into the sea. Common
life has passed away, and, to a novice, a
new wond open* to his eyes, beneath the
wave,anti oven to me the scene was fresh.
The coral reefs, like grand architectural
structures, covered with weedsandshells
of the deep, every possible variety of col
or; the nsh, large and small, darting
about the water, and flying at the ap
proach of the hell as before the sweep ol
the sharks, and even they grinned witli
their long jaws, and fled upon our ap
proach. l)>wu, down, down, till the
light was dim, and then wo struck the
wreck* Armed with crowtmrs sharp at
one end to repulse the sharks and other
monsters of the deep, we planted our feet
on the deck* Instantly we separutedf
Crow burst open the cabin dour, and ai
ter a while I Joined him. By this time
he was in the cabin searching about* I
watched him as well us 1 could all the
while. Thus we spent our fltsr Journey,
afld after loading our bell, gave tbe sig
nal and were hauled up on deck. The
nalloru crowded n uud us, gloating over
Lhe various thi’-gs we had brought up ;
they also hauled on deck several things
to which we hud attached ropes. Thus
BENTZ & CO. '
.April 25,1807—2/
faptal
NOME MOTH TITS CliiM),
A STORY OP PERIL.
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1870.
our first day was passed. All were ex
ulting, and the sailors cracked over the
galley fire tlie possible price of money to
each, and the master dreamed of a prin
cely independence.
Several days thus past over ; we had
broken Into the cargo, and what we con
sidered of valpe, and the sea had not
damaged was hauled on deck, and the
schooner became pretty wpll laden. T think
it was about the last day of working, as
wo were down in thtt'hell, that Crow
again wended his way toward -the cabin.
.By this time my suspicions regarding his
evil Intentions were quieted, yet tber ■
still lingered about him truces of obsti
nate sulkiness, so that X took very little
notice of his operations, and I busied
myself about different *hlngs in the hold
of the vessel.
I-thlnk about half an hour must have
passed by when I returned to the hell;
and I was startled by the cunntnfe wick
ed'cast of Crow’s countenance; he was
shuffling something beneath his diver’s
clothes, as the Inst of it disappeared T
jrnessed it was a bag, and the. thought
flashed across my mind—a hag of money.
I quietly asked Crow what it.was.
‘Humph ! nothing. Wbat have you to
do with it'?’ lie growled.
My curiosity was further aroused by
tills answer.
‘Well, you must tell.ihe what it is.’ T
said, keeping myself aa qnlet’a** possible.
*The devil 1 will!’ ho ohoutod savage-
‘Then you shall be forced when we get
on deck,’ I said, resolut- ly.
•Ha! hu! forced!’ Here he quietly
drew a long knife.
Quick as thought mine was out too, for
I always carried mine in my hoot.
*1 expected something of this,’ I said.
He scowled heavily at me at the, other,
side of the hell.
Hut nothing daunted, the ruffian cried,
‘I will see you dead first.’
1 knew hla mighty strength, but I.also
knew my own agility and skill.
Crow said again. *Tis a bag of gold T
found in th« cabin, and if you hold your
jaw I shall gie ye a thin!.’
‘Never shall Ihe dishonest,’ aftersome
deliberation, looking pale,€dared to say,
but perfectly calm.
Let rlie leader imagine the scene in a
bell forty feet under water. It would
take at least twenty minutes to puli It up.
A fierce fight, perhaps a deadly one,
might be finished by then. Suspicion
might be hushed; the body would be
flung to the ravenous sharks which we
sometimes had (o combat with our sharp
pointed crowbars; - but our .frightful
gloomy appearance, might have been
enough to terrify the inhabitants of the
deep.
We stood eyeing each other for some
time—he for attack ; I for resistance. I
offered to puli the alarm hell, but lie
clutched it from ihe. I attempted noth
ing further,.
After a few momenta’ pause he said,
‘Will you take a few shares?’
‘No*!’ was the firm answer.
‘Perhaps it is not large enough 1?
‘All of it is too small.’
‘Yon won’t give in ?’ he said.
I expected" something, and prepared
myself.
‘Never!’ I replied.'at length.
‘Then to death I* he yelled, springing
at me.
Quick as thought T caught his elevated
arm, poised in tire air, for astab. I made
a lunge at him, for my blood was roused
at this fiendish attempt on my life. He
parried it, but it caught him on the
shoulder; however, he. clutched my.
wrist, and there we were scowling at
eacli other; the foam hurst from ■ his
bloodless lins, and his passion-wrought
face .intimidated me more than his blood,*
thirsty o<ioUca.
At fust lie made a forcible effort A ve
his arm, but I he>‘ J it with all the
strength of desperation. Amid {yilhsand
curses bo struggled. Sometimes he was
quiet, and the only sound was (lie hup;
ned panting of our excited chests. At
lust I wrenched my hand from his, and
stabbed him in the hand. His knife (ell,
but‘with a curse that rings yet in .my ear
he threw himselfat me ami grasped my
body and arm in ins gigantic clasp. I
seized him hy the throat. With the
hug of a hear he tried to break my back :
his strength seetno-l almost superhuman.
but shifting off the bars-of wood by a
wriggle, we plunged into the sea beneath.
Down, down we sank! No effort was
made to lose (he hold .of either. Tight
er and tighter we gnppi, d; till we fell, on
the coral re-f. • Death iiself seemed to
me a trifle. Pa>sh*n and hate seemed
hut the consummation of my heart. My.
strength was that of Hercules, under the
influence of this demoniacal conflict,—.
Rut want of air stifled our efforts. As
le Arts began to flash before my eyes,
and Hie dlseof unconsciousness to creep
over me, I released my hold. Grow also
loosened his. I ktiow..little about- this
pari; but being an excellent swimmer I
struck out with aM my force. The water
.whizzed hy me, I was stilling, clinking,
dying. When I leached the surface,with
u gasp of air I'recovered, anil was enabled
to shriek, ‘Help, help I’when I fainted.
As a dream, floated, before m- —men,
lopes, boat ami rescue.
i awoke ; but the pain, and dizziness,
anti confusion in my head defy all de
scription,* Alter a few hours I could rise,
but still I was feeble. I inquired - for
Crow; be was in a delirium. They told
me when the bell was brought up, ho lay
on the bars as dead, grasping the gold
hag in his hands. They also told me
that they hut.barely meued me from a
shark hovering near the schooner.
Next .day we set sail, and arrived not
■long after in New York. Two hundred
pounds'was my Tee, but.the master gave
me fifty more for my honest resistance.
Crow was still bad in his head. , They
put him into an hospital. ( called three
months after, and lie had gone to the
backwoods of the Fair West.
An English Baby Show.—An enter
prising itinerant auctioneer determined
upon introducing a novelty, and created
a sensation amongst the poor-mothers In
the Jofnllly ■ t>y holdinc; « buliy uliow.—
There were several prizes, and presently
the door of the caravan leading on to the
stage from which the auctioneer disposes
ot his wares, was opened, and the mam
mas came forward in single file with their
cherubs in their arms and formed a row
in front of the assemblage. * The only
difficulty that arose was as to. whoshnuld
judge. Three men near to' the caravan
mounted the rostrum, amidst some mer
riment, which was increased tenfold, as,
commencing at one end of the row, one
of I hem took the babies in rotation in bis
arms, and raised them up and down as
'though the job was one to which lie win
not at all unaccustomed. This appealed
as though the decision was to be accord
ing to weight, and, one young woman
was present with twins, the suggestion
was made that they should both be taken
into account when the result was being
arrived at. Borne of the babes presented
a rather sickly appearance, and did not
seem at all to relish their position. After
a good deal of careful examination the
decision of the judges and of the crowd
generally was given in favor of a plump
little infant, whose parents rejoice in the
name of Winterboltom. Another prize
was>giveu to the child that was dressed
In the neatest manner. It was Ireely
bandied about that a show of young wo
men would be a not unnatural sequence.
Signs.—When you see the sun
you get out of bed, It is a sign that you
wouldn't do lor a farmer.
When you see a boy throwing stones
on the streets and speaking Impudently
to old people, It is a sign that his parents
don't cure rnuoh for him.
When you see a girl throwing kisses
and winking at the boys as they pans
her window, it Isa sign that she Is too
young to be out of sight of her maternal
relative.
When you see young gentlemen and
ladles whispering, and giggling, ami
writing notes in church, it is a sign that
the man who teaches good manners
omitted to give them a call when ho came
along the last time*
A KNOWING HOUSE.
During tlie early settlementof Wlscon
! Bin—op the wilderness part of It, at least
—I wna frequently employed by corres
pondents, from abroad to search out cer
tain sections of land and report as to
their value, timber, qualify of soil, etc
In distdiah'ing this duty, I usually went
on horseback, using a favorite old family
horse. To find the particular section de
scribed, I would first find a surveyor's
‘blazed llpe, f and follow it up until I
found a * corner post,' where I could find
the * cornet" tree * marked with the num
ber of thejtownahip, range and section
of which 'the post was the boundary ;
then, by nj glance at the map, I could
cell at one? the distance and direction of
•the sectlorj I was in search of, and would
follow the blazed lines accordingly. On
one occasion, a dismal, foggy day, I had
gone a longer distance from home than
usual, and into a part of the wilderness
that was strange to me. After making
the survey, the fog came on so very thick
that. I dare not take my usual course of
Returning by a direct route, without re
gard to the angles of.the surveyor, but
s'arted on a blazed line leading nearest
to the required direction. Before going
fur I came U, a hog or marsh, which was
impassable on horseback, and X was
forced to cr° **- T had ant. on
the opposite side, T could nof*find (he
line-again, and, after searching some
Mule time. I gave it up, and threw the
reins upon the neck of-the horse . and
hade him go home; preferring to trust
to his Instinct to find the way, rather
than to my judgment ns to the proper
direction to ho taken. We Had not, gone
many rods before I noticed the blazed
trees for which I bad been looking, and
mv curiosity was at once excited lb know
whether the horse really noticed the faint
marks on the trees, and was guided by
them. Accordingly I left the reins per
fectly free, and was snob satisfied beyond
doubt (hat such was the fact, for, on
corning to a fallen tree or other obstruc
tion, he wouhi go round it, return to the
line, and follow it without mistake; in
fact beseemed to find the line more readi-.
ly than I could myself. Afterward, I
’'tested him time and again. It made no
difference whether the direction was to
or from home. If the direction was
from home,-on coming to a cnrher po°t,
he would make a atop, as if to inquire
whether to keep straight on, or turn to
the right or left* This wad only one of
many knowing traits displayed by him:
But. notwithstanding the old fellow was
so docile and knowing, I could never
-persuade him to let me shoot game from
Ilia hack ; and altera few attempts, I
was forced to give it up. He would not
even let me mount him with the gun In
my hand, or allow it to he.handed to me
after I had mounted/ He appeared to,
have a horoi of fire-arms, perhaps lie had
noticed the result of their use on the
game, and was afraid of some lihie get
ting a shot himself Wlth another horse
I tiled an experiment that I -should
never had thought of. except for the In
telligence, if not reasoning power, dis
played by an old favorite. 1 had bought
a horse in Milwankee—a jet black, and
perfect beauty of a horse, which was said
to have been caught from a drove of
wild horses on the Texas prairies. He
was gentle and docile enough while in
hand, but once loose, there was no ouch
thing as catching him again by any of
the ordinary means used for catching
horses. In fact, the man from whom I
purchased him, after chasing him foi
days with relays of horses from his livery
stable, had been ohliged.at last to * create’
him, In order to catch him, i. e, 1 to shoot
him through the (op of the neck, just
above the neck-bone, temporarily para
lyzing him. without doing permanent
injury. 'Thtato be succeastuUy perfnrrrj
ed, requires a goon mm k>*iuiii , for if the
ball struck an inch too low, the shot
would he fatal. After I had been his
owner some six or eight months, he.got
100-e in the fall of the year and took to
the woods near by. T used to see him
often, but lie would never letmeapproach
anywhere near him After sn- w fell in :
the winter, and food became scarce in the
woods, he could occasionally be seen in
the evening near the stable, and f used
to leave the door open until bed-time,
and sometimes as late as two o'clock at
night* urn) place a iupuhuip of oats and
salt within tempting distance inside the
stable, in hopes that he would go in. hut
he was not to be entr&pped in that way.
At last f began to cast about for the
reason why he would not venture 10-en
terthe stable while the door Stood Invi
tingly open ami no person in sight* and
I came to the conclusion that the horse
reasoned after this manner : *As long a*
the lights are burning in the house, peo
ple are stirring about, and I am llaMo t’o
after the lights are out, lhoj;c is
no more stir for the night, and If the
door was left open, TmTght venture in
with safety.’ Taking it for granted that
I had solved the problem correctly, I
laid my plans accordingly. Attaching
one end of a’rope to the handle of the
stable door, I passed the-Other end
tlirou-’h the window of the house, which
commanded a view of the situation, and
at the usuaUimir, for retiring, i had the
lights put out, and everything kept quiet,
tho result was as I had hoped, lather than
expected. The lights hud not been out
more than ten or fifteen minutes, before
the horse cautiously entered the stable.
The trap wa-*. sprung, and we had him
safe. How this affVcted his reasoning
faculties I can’t fell, but ho must evi
dently have considered himself taken In.
That the horse would not have gone into
the stable had the lights been left burn
ing, I do not pretend to say, I give the
/acts'as they occurred. But lam satisfied,
from more than thirty years close ohser
vation, that the horde observes and
makes a (mental) note of a great deal
more than is generally supposed
Bo\V COUNTERFEIT NOTES ARE MADE.
—A party of men, say from three to a
dozen, get together and hold frequent
meetings, and act according to u plan laid
.down. One or two will And out some
copperplnttT'pSiJlter hi the employ of the
hank note company—ln foot'all snob
printers are known by the party. These
men will manage to meet one of the
printers in Hie evening, get acquainted,
drink, and have a good time generally
with him, and so proceed fora few even
ings* Then they offer from 850 to $l5O
to procure a certain kind of impression.
This impression is made in this* wise:
The printer will take the impression
upon tin foil from the plate from which
he is printing, which can be done in a
moment. Thus you see every lino ami
the size obtained correctly. From this
tin foil an electrotype plate is made.-
They then get some plate printer that
cun be,found about.the city, have a good
time with him, and engage him at twen
ty dollars a day to do the printing. Ry
this plan thousands of copies are struck
off which defy detection, except in the.
quality of the paper, which will slightly
differ from the genuine. The nluce of
manufacture is generally aoipe distance
from New York, like btaten Island, Flat
bush, or sometimes .Baxter street, or
similar localities in that city. It is a
strange fact in every case where a party
of this kind exists that every member
lacks confidence In his associates. Every
move made by one ia narrowly waicbed
by the others of the party. It would be
death to an informant orspy that did not
look well to hlmseif.
Beautiful Myi n. —in eastern poetry
they tell ol u wondrous tree, upon which
. rew golden appl -s and silver bells, and
every time a breeze wont by and shook
the fragrant branches, a shower of these
golden apples fell, and the living bells
chimed and tinkled forth their airy rav
ishments. On the gospel tree there grow
sweet blossoms and bells more melodious
than those which mingled with the po
megianates on Aaron’s vestment —holy
feeling, heaven-t mght ; and when the
Holy Spirit breathes upon the evangel*
ized so there are a shaking down of mel*
low fruits, and the lF»w ot healthy music
whoso gentle tones and joyous echoing
are wafted through ail the recesses of the
soul.
sweet itcvengc.
It Is well known that during the revo
lutionary warwJn Northern Italy, in 1818
and 1849, the Austrian commanders caus
ed a number of aristocratic ladies who
. had participated in some patriotic demon
stration, to be brutally whipped by Cro
atia soldiers in front of the jails, and In
the presence of large crowds of specta
tors. Thus in Breslus the Countess of
Ferrari, a young married lady of twenty
five, who. had collected money for the
revolutionary volunteers, was placed be
fore military commission of Austrian
ofllcere, and by direction of Lieutenant
Field Marshal Nelpperg, sentenced to re
ceive fifty strokes with the verges. On
the same afternooiKfc'she was led on the
Place d’Annea, and after having being,
stripped almost naked, tied to a bench,
she received her punishment at tiie bands
of two stalwart Croats, who were armed
with formidable bunches of birch rods. —
Every stroke of them must have been in
tensely painful, but the countess did not
utter a sound ‘of complaint. At the
twenty-fifth stroke, however,she fainted,
and when her executioners bad inflicted
the full nuinberofslrokeson herseuseless
body, she was carried back In an almost
lifeless condition to her cell,.and thrown
on a bundle of straw.' She never fully
eieu mitn ii.« ivrhii,i n ,
and died a few months afterwards. This
is only one case out of many. The fath
ers, husbands, brothers and sons of these
martyred Italian ladies formed, in the
year 1850, a secret league for the purpose
of mating out punishment to the brutal
Austrian commanders who had ordered
their mothers, wives and sisters to be
chastised in tills cruel manner. They
rraolved to bide-their time, and to pick
off the Austrians whenever an opportu
nity to do so presented itself. Two years
ago great excitement was created in Aus
tria by the assassination of an Austrian
General, in Illyria, by a young Italian
'nobleman, who thus avenged bis mother,
who hud been terribly flogged, by order
of the general. The avenger succeeded
in making bis escape, and. the Austrian
government did not take pains to obtain
his extradition from the Italian author!
ties. The other day a similar tragedy
took place In the neighborhood of Loy
hach, wheroNeipperg, the principal actor
in the cruel scene which was narrated
above, owned a country seat. On the
24th of April, a well dressed young stran
ger presented himself at the chateau and
told the servant who opened the door to
him, that he desired to see Count Nelp
perg. 'The Count is In the garden.—
Khull I cull him, asked theaorvant. 'No,'
replied the young stranger, ‘take me to
the garden and I shad see his Excellen
cy, there.’ The servant conducted him
to the garden, in rather a remote part of
tVhieh they met Neipporg, who was
jromenading with his daughter, a young
ad 3* of twenty-two. The stranger, ad
dressing Neipperg, said to him: T am
Count Ferrari I. What did you do to ruy
mother?’ Neipperg looked at him in
surprise. The next moment Count Fer
rari plunged a knife into his breast, ahd
despite the frantic attempts of the young
Countess Neipperg, succeeded In making
his escape. .
Sunday in Paris.— Everybody orders
the best breakfast his purse or credit wiM
allow him, and us by noon (when break
fa«t Is served) appetite has been sharpen
ed by three, four or five hours of fasting,
‘niperadded *o the Lethean hours of tor
por tire bed claims, thesubstnnfial break
fast not only soon disappears, but many
a bottle of wine, and many a half cup of
coffee, followed by thimblefuls of brandy
or liquor. Breakfast ended, they pace
the Boulevards, or go up and down the
Avenue dee Champs El voces, perambu
late the public gardens, fill the museums,
all of which are open on Sundays, or
choke the railway’s suburban trains.
Nobody knows fatigue on Sunday in
Paris, so when nluht comes gin excellent
dinner is despatched, (which the major*
ity of shop-keepers eat at some res'au rant,
that their omnibus servant, who does all
work, from emptying the offal*box to
lending a band to the wifelfthen dres
sing, may, like her master, gad about
town,) they go to the theatre. The plav
is the piece In vogue ; nr, If the latter
he in the gloss of novelty, a half dozen
pieces are given; Sunday audiences pre
fer quantity to quality. Actors play rap
idly and carelessly. “Isn’t thd-house
filled?’’ “ Only with shop-keepers.” I
have noticed a difference of forty min
utes In the lime taken to plav a five act
piece at the French Comedy in the'pres
ence of the Emperor, and imlbe presence
of a Sunday audience.
Some one beautifully says that Ratur-
day night makes people human, sets their
hearts to heating softly, ns they used to
do before the world lurned them info
drums, and jarred them to pieces wijh
tattoos. The ledger closes with a clash,
the' iron doored van ts come to ivkh a
will, click goes the key in the lock. It
Is Saturday night, and business breathes
free again; Homeward, oh ! The door
that-4ms been njar all the week gently
closes behind him ; the world is ad shut
out. Hhut in, rather; Here are his
treasury,sfter.all, and not in the vault,
and not in the.bode, save file record In-
the old family Bible—and not In the
hank. Maybe you are a bachelor, frosty
and forty. Then, poor fellow, Saturday
night is nothing to you, just as you are
nothing to anybody. Get a wife, blue
eyed or black- yed ! hut, above all true
eyed. Get a little borne—no matter how
little: a sofa to hold two, or two and a-
df, and get the two or, two and a-half
It, of a Saturday n'ght, and then read
this paragraph hy the light of your wife's
eyes, and thunk Heaven, and take cour
age. ;
A good story is told or old Johnny
•McGill, who.resided during the ln
East Tennessee. Guerillas representing
■both parties kept it so warm In that for
saken region that It was dangerous to be
long to either side. McGill had In try
ing Ui ri*lc (xitli hornes, grot several bleolc
jackings from first the rebels and then
the Yankees. As all the guerillas dress
ed. alike, he made several mistakes in
trying to pass for either Union or South
ern, as'he thought would suit the crowd-
At last he was overtaken by a party
whose politics he couldn't even guess at,
and the following dialogue ensued : ‘Sir,
are you a Union man ?'
‘No,’ responded McGill. a
‘Are you a rebel, then ?’
‘No, sir, I’m not a rebel, either.’
‘Then what In the devil’s name are
you?’ roared (he captain.
‘Well, sir,* hesitated McGill, ‘to tell
you the real truth, I’m—nothing—and
but d d little of that.’
A California Dose.—The wife of a
California farmer being sick, her physi
cian ordered some powder largely com
posed of opium, and directed her husband
to administer the weight of a quarter
eagle at a dose. In the morning, when
the doctor returned the pfttlent was dead,
and evidently of poison.
‘Unhappy man,’ said the doctor, where
is the powder I gave you ?'
M gave it to her. Hero is the empty
box.'
‘You forgot my prescription then.’
‘Ko, doctor. I nut the two dollars and
a half iu one scale and the powder in the
other.*
‘Was It gold?’
‘No: I did not have the gold, so I
made up the amount iu silver.’
Two little girls were heard discussing
the war In Europe. They were divided
in opinion as to the result, one contend*
ing that Prussia would whip, and the
other asserting with equal confidence
that France would he the viclor. At
last the champion of Prussia settled the
question by unanswerable argument.—
•I know,* said she, ‘that the Dutchmen
will whip. My pa is a-Frenchman and
mv ma la a Dutchman. They fight every
night, and always whips,'
YOL. 57.—N0. 14.
Tfovr to Ores* Well*
It is the duty of nil, young and old, to.
make their person, ns faros practicable,
agreeable to those with whom they ore
thrown in contact. By this, we mean,
they should not offend by singularity or
sloveltucss. If you are a roan, let nobody
tell by your appearance what trade you
follow. You dress your person, not your
business. Be careful, ladies, to mould
the fashion of the times to your own per
sonal peculiarities. Fashion fa to be the
servant, not your master; therefore,never
dress in the extreme of fashion; and only
adopt it as far as is convenient with your
face and figure. That which will not
suit one person becomes another; and for
all to follow the same model is obviously
absurd. The exercise of a little judgment
bn your part will enable you to adopt as
much of the prevailing style in ybiir
drees to show that you are acquainted
with the fashion, and without sacrificing
your personal appearance to a scrupulous
conformity to its laws. The best possible
impression you can. make by your dress
Is to make no irapre-slon at all, but so to
harmonize its material and shape with
your own figure that it becomes part of
you; ami people without recollecting bow
you were clothed, will remember that
you looked well and were dressed becom-
Jhn*y-
It may be said that attention to dress is
(Jftngomtio. < Ur. *!.*..*. - uAuavn
gantiy-dressed people are seldom dressed
well. We meet multitudes of people who
are dressed in every Imaginable style.
Here is one in the bestof broad cloth, and
the costliest of jewelry, hut who looks i
exceedingly vulgar; hero another habit- i
ed plainly, hut in good taste. Showy and
flaring'clothes argue mental poverty in
the wearer. The secret of being well
dressed is to exercise judgment and good .
sense ; it invariably requires more euro
than cash. Instead of making a young
man or woman extravagant, It saves half i
the money it would cost to clothe them i
in vulgar and pretending stylo which so 1
many now-u-days adopt.
A casts of more than ordinary interest
to farmers was tried in the court In Nor
ristown, Montgomery county, last week.
Mr. John Kennedy, a highly respected
and well known citizen of Upper Merlon
township, was arrested by-cue agent of
the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals. Mr. !£• is a well known cat-
tle dealer, and has been In the habit of
muzzling the cows'cal ves for from twenty
to twenty-four hours previous to the sale,
for the purpose of “bagging’’ or swelling
of the row’s udders, and this the society
claimed to be cruelty to animals. The
Commonwealth presented but a single
witness—the of the society—to sup
port the charge, .while Mr. K. brought
forward a number of persons who had
purchased cows, who swore to the con
trary. This being the first case of the
kind that has ever been tried in our State,
much Interest waa manifested in the re
sult, and as It is a common custom for
farmers and dealers in cattle to let their
C 'ws go nnmilked for a period of twenty
to thirty hours forthe purpo^eofswelling
their udders previous to sales, so that
buyers might notice any imperfections
about the udder or teats, if such imper
fections existed, as it : s Impossible other
wise The casecreatpd great excitement,
•nd occupied several days in trial. The
jury rendered a verdict of uot guilty and
county pay the coats.
ijjpnßfTANT to Soldiers. —There lean
act making appropriations for thesuppm t
of the army lor the present.year, approved
July 15, the 2oth section of which reads
as follows:
That ever} private soldier and officer
w ho has served iu the army of the United
Stutuo during the rebellion for 00 days,
and remained loyal to the government,
Hhall, on payment of the fee or commis
sion to any register or receiver of any
land office required bjr law, be entitled to
enter one-quarter,section of laud, not
mineral, of ttie alternate reserved sections
of public lauds along the line of any one
of the railroads or any other.public works
In the United States, wherever public
lauds may have been or may be grunted
by acts of Congress, and to receive a pa
tent therefor, under and by provisions of
the act to secure homesteads to actual
settlers on the pub'ic domain, and the
acts amendatory thereof, und on the terms
and conditions therein prescribed, and al)
the provisions of said acts, except as here
•ih modified shall extend and be applica
ble to entries under this act.
—lnstances of genuine heroism often
happen that the world knows little or
nothing about. An instance has been
brought (o our attention which occurred
quite recently at Sulphur Springs, near
the Somerset' county line and which is
worthy of note. Carrie 8.. aged seven
years, the little daughter of Mr. Joseph
S. Lare, of the Pittsburg Post, along with
her mother had been stopping near that
place for several weeks, and one day last
she in company with a lady and Miss
Emma, daughter of Joseph Orris, E&q.,
of Scalp Level, of this county, aged,
about thirteen years, were crossing u
brook nt a shallow, place to get to (he
spring, when the child slipped on the
mossy rocks and was rapidly drifted by
the current into deep water. The young
woman at once plunged into the water
to rescue the little girl, but being unable
to swim, they were both in imminent
danger of drowning. The girl Emma
Orris, a good swimmer, with great cool
ness ami remarkable presence of mind,
hurried down the stream and venturing
boldly to the rescue, succeeded, after they
had sunk twice, in saving both from a
watery grave. —JoHiitiown Democrat.
A Curious Decision—The Supreme
Court of decided that,
where by negligence, sparks from a loco-
motive set fire to a warehouse near, a rail
road track, the railroad company is liable
for the damage done by the fire, but,
strange to Bay, the same tribunal also de
cides that if another house catches from
the flames of the' burning building set on
Are by sparks from the locomotive, the
owner of the said promise's has no remedy.
The railroad company; it was held, was
only responsible to the first person, wbo,
by negligence of the railroad company
servants, hacl.hiß*property set on fire ami
destroyed, und although tno second suf
ferer was injured, by precisely the same
reason, because the tire kindled by the
locomotive spread to him, he had no re
medy.
Busybodies —Beware of of busybodies.
A mau wbo meddles in other people’s af
fuiis is sureTo make mischief. He gen
erally medaieato euit himself, ami con
sequently puts different constructions on
the same things when said to different
people, so that the most innocent words
get distorted into applications which
those who used them never intended
they should bear.
Find fault, when you must llnd fault,
In private, if possible ; and some time af
ter the offence rather than at Lite lime.
The blamed are- less inclined to resist
when they are blamed without witnesses.
Both parlies are calmer, and the accused
party is struck with the forbearance of
the accuser, who has seen the fault, and
watched tor a private and propertimofor
mentioning it.
‘Allow me,’ said an American host,
in hla most persuasive tones, to a friend
dining with him, ‘allow me to help you
to a piece of Washington plo.’ ‘Blr,’ re
plied the gentleman oralorically, waving
bis napkin, ‘George Washington was first
in war, first in peace, and first in the
hearts of blscouutrymen. 1 admire him
for his purity, his and his patriot
ism, but 1 detest his pies.’
A Sweet Thought.—Good, kind,
true, holy words, dropped in conversa
tion, may be little thought of. but they
are like seed of a flower or fruitful tree
fulling by the way-side, borne by some
bird afar, happily thereafter to fringe
with beauty some barren mountain-side,
or to make glad some lonely wilderness.
—North British Nevivwi
Rates for
ADTiRTisKMKNTa win a© inserted at Ten Cent
per lino lor the flint insertion, and flvo cen
per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Quay
erly half-yearly' and yearly advertisements In
erted at a libera) reduction on the above rates
Advertisements should be accompanied by th 6
Cash. Wnensent without any length of UroO
specified for publication, they will be continued
until ordered out and onargtal accordingly.
JOB PRINTING,
CAHD‘i.,HAMnnrLLB.Circulars, and every oth
er description of Jon and Cari> Printing.
©ems of ftfteratute.
, * Nameless Deed—An unsigned will.
The lady with a 1 single purpose’ is an
old maid.
How long does a widow mourn ? For
a second.
It is not undertakers who carry the
beer exclusively.
.. Wkat does it take to make a pair of
boots ? Two boots.
A SMALL thing to-keep—the right side
of some people.
A business that is always picking up
. —A rag gatherer’s.
Ip you are so unfortunate as to bo taken
In, don't carry it to the absurd, and bo
done for, •
Vr
The future is a sealed book, and how
wisely ft is ordered that we can read but
a line at a time!
To cure deafness—Tell a man you’yo
como to pay him money,; It beats acoustic
oil ail hollow'.
Why is a lawyer like a sawyer? Be
cause which ever way,ho moves, down
must come the dust.
Interesting to itinerant circus com
panies—you can make your tents water
proof bv ‘nitnhlno’’ thpm.
Though men often boast of holding
the reins, the women generally tell them
which way they must drive.
Cards and brimstone make the beat
matches, as the clergyman said when he
married a gamester to a shrew.
The moat bashful girl we ever heard
of was the vounglady who blushed when
she was asked if she had not been court
ing sleep. - ,
A crate of strawberries having fallen
upon a man at the market, one day dur
ing the season, a report was started that
he had been berried.
Query.—What is the difference be
tween a church organist afftHhe influen
za ? One stops the nose, and the other
knows the stops. .
When man in Greece joins
the brigands, hla friends regretfully, an
nounce the fact by aayifig “ he has gone
into politics.”
A prisoner was examined In court and
grossly contradicted himself. “Why do
you lie so?” asked the judge. “Haven’t
you a lawyer?”
It is raid that Viuno Ream Is on her
last bust preparatory to leaving for home/
We hope she will come out all right, aud
then reform.
Did yon ever know a young lady too
weak to stand up during* psalm time in
church, who couldn’t dance all night
without being tired ?
An illiterate correspondent, who Is ad
dicted to sporting, wants to know when
the ‘Anglo Saxon race,’ so much talked
about, is to come off.
l young man. in Ohio recently-opened
lothing store, and was sent to jail for
Reason—tbe clothing store belonged
mother man.
It may be said of too many of our pub
lic men that they are last in war, last in
peace, but first iu the ‘pockets’ of their
countrymen. &
Rusticus, in-commenting ou the pres*
ent style of female coiffure,.says: “It
must be a very poor soil that requires bo
much top dressing.”
Extremes may ho said to meet in the
costumes of the modern ballet, inasmuch
as the top and bottom of the same are
near together.
The subject of a colored gentleman’s
discourse at the Fifteenth Amendment
celebration at Indiunnpolis,. was-“ The
white elemeflt iu our midst.”
A rural correspondent asks us to ex
plain what a sinking fund us. Any sum
of public money which fulls into the ra
pacious hands of the present administra
tion is a sinking fund.
The internal revenue law Uses very
little di-crimination. A man with a rim
to his hat half an inch wide is taxed Just
as much as one with the spread propor
tions of an awning.
The only prisoner in the Nantucket
jail notifies the authorities that If they
don’t fixup the jail sothattbe sheep can’t
get in to bother him, he will be blowed
if he will stay in there.
Ha, ha, let Wisconsin strike the lute,
ami raise a hymn of thanksgiving, for
gold ! yes, real gold has been discovered
in that Slate—about ten cents worth of'
gold to every ten tons of rock.
Punchinello tells of Greeley, at Long
Branch, sitting sadly, mournfully obser
ving the swindling waves, which came
all the way from Europe, and didn’t pay
u cent of tax when they lauded i
“Do you think,” asked Mrs. Pepper,
“ that a little temper is a had thing in a
woman ?” “ Certainly not, ma’am,” re
plied o gallant philosopher, “ it’s a good
thing, and sho ought never to lose It.”
A clergyman in Vermont has forbid
den any one to play a bass viol in his
church. Ho suyu, however serious bis
thoughts may be, the moment be bears a
bliss Addle, he goes to thinking how he
used to dance I
“ You say,” said a judge to a witness,
“that the plain Ii tl resorted to an ingen
ourt use of circumstantial evidence, state
just exactly what you meant by that?”
“ Well,”• said the witness, “My exact
meaning is that he iied !”
A bashful gentleman, happening to
meet in the street a lady of his acquain
tance for whom lie entertained a budding
affection, suddenly “lost his head” and
dropped Ids eyes, The cose has been in
ferred to an eminent surgeon.
“A queer temperance pledge was once
circulated in Russia. It hound the sign
ers to abstain from brandy—until brandy
should bo better and tolerably cheap.—
What would they suy to the quality and
price of our whisky?
A sportive young lady says : “If the
course of true love does never run smooth,
why don’t they water it, and roll it regu
larly so many hours a day. until they get
the con r so so smooth that any donkey
can run upon it?”
A horticulturist advertised that ho
would supply all kinds of seeds and of
plants. Home wag sent him an order for
one package of custard pie seed and one
dozen of mince pie plants, which he filled
by sending twelve hen’s eggs and a small
dbgT
They have caged a burglarat the Syra
cuse jail who did business. He kept an
account book, and gave each man credit
for the articles stolen. He informed the
officer that his was the system of double
entry—once into your safe and again Into
his books.
A member of the State Legislature Is
about to prepare two volumes—ouetotell
what .that long-sitting body did do, and 1
another what they did not do. The for
mer will consist of a title page and pre
face, and the latter a volume of about five
hundred pages. .
Funny mistakes occurred at the New
York festival. In one of the crowded
hotels six ladies and three gentlemen had
been assigned a single apartment, until
one of the ladies, u member of a promi
nent family in Boston, sent her card to
the clerk, saying that a mistake had been
made.' He must send the three gentle
men away or send throe more!
A Politician boasted that ho could
toll any kind of wine or liquor, blindfold
ed, merely by tho taste. Ho was tried
with one kind after another, and rekdily
named them. At last a glass of water
was handed him. He tasted it, hesi'ated,
tasted It again, smelled it, retasted it. and
then said,‘l give it up. That’s a Irand
of liquor 1 never got hold of before/ .