(American Volunteer. gVEBY THURSDAY MORNINO By [C * JOUTB MARKET SQUARE. nnitar* nef year If paid strictly ,-JT* 0 B nMift«?«nn Fitly Cdnia if paid l»! afl?r which Three Dollar.. n &“t* rni “ w,n h " . r , lK , l : lli ’ f d - ® ar^S * I WM. B. PARKER. SSSh * p'abkeb. • ifTOR&EYB ’ Jj ln street, la Marlon Hall, Car- CLAIM AND H ESTA TE A GENCY! w, B. BU.TDEB, ATTOUNBT at LAW. .Jfltcrrof InholTs Building, No. 8 South 'iS, Carlisle, Cumberland county inll Bounties, Buck Poy. *o„ promptly i'UbM by mail, wUI receive Immediate terd^-^n^fn 0 ® oiiiry?please enclose postage stamp. « fV-N ■ : L_ , BELTZIIOOVEB, fIOKJfET-A T-LA W, CABLISUB. PA. m on South Hanover. Street, opposite • fan be seen the finest assortment of [hats and caps jught to Canute. He takes great pleas- Juvlilug his old friends and customers, tuw cues, to his splendid stock. Just rom New York and Philadelphia, con d part of fine ILK AND OABSIMERE, HATS, . an endless variety of Hats and.Capa of it style, all of which ho will.sell at the m Prices. Also, his own manufacture always on hand, and W MANUFACTURED TO ORDER. »lUe best arrangement for coloring Hats umlaof Woolen Goods, Overcoats,w announce >thoir usual, large of boots and shoes m y '' ■ j (FORJ lE9’ AND MISSES’ AND BOYBM mrTIOIM YOUTHS' AND CHILDS', 5 1 wo unrivaled for comfort, and beauty BUNKS AND VALXS3E3, Ii e ja cTl*flu tuntter BY BRATTON & KENNEDY. 3D CD ffiOOUB. QHEAP DRY GOODS, CHEAP’DRY GOODS, AT * THE NEW STORE, D. A. SAWYER, D. A. SAWYER, Irvine's Comer. Bargains In LAWNS, GRENADINES, HEBNANI^ LACE POINTS,. HUMMER SHAWLS, LACE CURTAINS. PARASOLS, FANS, Ac. Piques, Marseilles, LOOK AT THE PRICES. CALICOES, 6K, 8, 10, 12 'A, MULLINS. (M, 8, 10, 3Z& GINGHAMS, 12& 14, 15, 17, TICKINGS, 14. 18, 22, 26, Cheapest Pants Stuff In the town Cheapest Cloths and Casshnera . In >he town Cheapest Hosiery In the town Cheapest Gloves and Handle’s, In tho town Cheapest Notions, all hinds in the town DRESS GOODS, Cheapest DeLalnos In tho town Cheapest Poplins • 0 in the town Cheapest Alpuccaa black Acol’d Iq the town Cheapest Black <& Fancy Silks in the town Cheapest Japanese in the town WHITE GOODS, Cheapest Piques Fig, striped in'-the town. Cheapest Mursailles in tho town. Cheapest Percales in the town. Cheapest Chintzes in the town. Cheap* st Embroideries « Laces In the town. Cheapest Collars a Guffis In tbe town Cheapest Table Linen In the town* Cheapest .Napkins, &o. . in the town. A splbndld article Plquo 25 ota. All other goods in. proportion.. Come and examine lor yourselves. No trouble to show goods. Oar motto Is small profile and quick sales. Ti.ess goods nave been' purchas' d for cash, at present gold prices, and we can sell you now goods twenty-five pe r cent, less than they will ch irge you fur old goods at other stores. D. A. SAWYER. June 2.1870. J~JRY GOODS 1 DRY GOODS!! attractive sp.eoialties HARPER’S POPULAR DRY GOODS STORE. Pardoned during toe greatest depression In the market, and to be sold at correspondingly low prices. DRESS GOODS, comprising all the novelties of the season, MOURNING AND SECOND MOURNING GOODS, BLACK SILKS, BLACK BATIN TAMIBEB, In extra quality. Pure Mohairs, Black Alpa'ccas (Specialty.) WHITE GO OD S , Piques In great variety and • latest styles.— French Muslins, Nunsooks. Cambrics, Bishop and \ Ictorlu Lawns, Tarletous, &c., Ac. HOSIERY AND GLOVES in great variety. Gatpare Laces—best and cheapest stock In town. Real Valenciennes. Thread Laces, In sortings, Hamburg Embroideries and Lace Collars, ; line;* GOODS, Linen for suits. Linen Ducks and Drills, Pillow Case Linens, ’ Linen Sheetings, White Holland for Blinds, Table Linens and Napkins, Doylle Towels, White Spreads, «&0., Ac. BOYS’ CASSIMERES AND* MEN’S WEAR, •newest styles, less than regular rates. -SPECIAL NO TIC El Opening' of LLAMA LACE POINTS, _ LLAMA LACE SOCKS, 1 BEDOUIN MANTLES, SHETLAND MmAWLS THUS. A. HARPER. Cor, of Hanover and Pomfret lets. Juno 23,1871. ■ QREAT COMMOTION D # R Y. GOODS, On account of the redaction Goods Merchants who understand tUelr and the certain signs of the times, the prlceoi tbelrgoods correspondingly. Thesub scrlners have Juat received from the cities a large and full assortment of all kindq of FOREIGN & STAPLE GOODS, which they will soil lower than they have done Bl “' SILKS, .Wool De Lalnes, Alpacas, Poplins, Sorgea, Bom bazlnea, Tamise Olotb, Grenadines, FLANNELS OP ALL KINDS, Plain and Fancy, Linen tfable Diapers, Cotton do.,Checks, Tickings, Ginghams, counterpanes EMBROIDERIE a fall line; White Goods in great variety, HOSIERY, GLOVES, TRIMMINGS and a full stock of' DOMESTIC GOODS, Calicoes, Muslins, by the plooo-or yard; Grain bUBa ' CLOTHS, CABSIMER3, &o„ CARPETS, OIL CLOTHS. Druggets, Window Shades. Matting* MILJNEBY GOODS nf nil kinds, including Ladles and Childrens Hntn and Sundowns, and the best assortment and hfi«t quality«f Uno Ribbons in the county Kid Qloveu. (beat make,) Jewelry, Fancy Goods and Notions la great variety. This MAMMOTH STOCK OP GOODS tne lamest In this section of country. Is offered a nrlces that defy competition, and all. we ask laa fair examination by good Judges orgoods to satisfy the public that thU la the place to buy and save money. LADIES’ UNDER WEAR, A alee assortment of Ladles’ Under Clothln very handsomely stitched and trimmed ftt prices. _ WOOL, taken m exchange fergoojls. & At the Old Dry Q.edo stand established Fob rnary let, IMO. * Jlwoh*—7o The following original odo was recited by Johri, Q. Paxe, before the Tammany Society, on the f. urth of July: •Tls the voice of tho croaker—l hear him com plain. •‘Those Tammany boys, they are at It again I Why keep such a feast In a partisan wnj ? Independence' I’irt sure. In a National Day I l ' Po It lal God ho praised.! and*'hat Isjust why We Democrats honor the Fourth of July I Were It anything other, or smaller, lown, .We’d all be contented to let Itnlone: Or leave It to men—to a party, 111 say. Accustomed to think In a narrower way; , A party pecullarlv fl'ted to shine (With a of lighten a different line ; Whose leaders, for Instance (I won’t call them *■ knaves), Being partial-to soldiers—when cold in their Irvine’s Corner. * graves— Appointed a day (he It tenderly said) ‘ For crowning with flowers the patriot dead ; "Flowers, flowers for tho heroes 1” the dema gogues cry, While wiping a tear lhat is “ all In your eye"— "One day for the soldier to memory dear I” Whom livina they mbhed every nay In tho year! And still at the Oapltol mark how they tieat The soldier i noble to cringe ,nt the feet Of the Dons who determine a General’s merit By the gai ge—nothing else—of. his partisans spirit, Mere realtwto party they reckon much higher Thau service to country, and so they Inquire If he’s fluent of speech In.the R-'dlcnl cant ? ' And *• what has he done now, lor General Grant I” •‘Don’t tell us," they cry "of hla boners and scars; « But what is the brand of his vole— and cipnrsf ’’ "A" hit at the magistrate I’’ some one. exclaims ; Well Tshan’t abuse him by calling him names; I honor his office; and let us reflect The hcad.nf the natmn demands tome respect. ■ I do not forget he’s our Preshl-nt. placed In the chair that a Jackson and Jefferson graced. Let us recollec that—till he’s laid on tho shdlf— However he seems to forget It himself. And as to abuse, with the werat I could say By giving my genius tho liveliest play, ■ I never could hope to accomplish the end Half so well as I heard a Republican friend. Who having, unwisely, forgot to subscribe, . Or being, unluckily, not of the tribe Presidential or "Deni” nl, ns certainly failed Of the office he sought for and Ihereforenssolled The man In such language ns pusses belief As one could emp'oy In denouncing his chief. He said—ns I heard ftyou will receive it— Pray do not Imagine i think you’ll believe It—’ Ho said, In such bitter, extravngantspeech, As simple hyperbole never could reach; Pronounced In a manner less civil than hearty— ‘•The follow disgraced tho Republican party 1” . Apropt wof the party of which I’ve made men- tion, e Suppose I should give Itsome further attention; It has very few friends and whUe I am "in,” I own the temptation to “hit It a(;ln.” A party which bases with singular ea«*e, Immoral proceedings on “moral idee*;” Denounces small.rogues .who are caught in the fact,? But favors the big ones, or holds them Intact.; • Like thp land stealing rascals and similar job bers, Meek-faced, parllmentary “Radical” robbers. Who hasten to place on the v/riWchnnrt That denis' In cadetships an Infamous brand; , While their own, at the moment, grown bolder and bolder. Are plunged In the Treasury up to the shoulder. Success to Old Tammnnv, long may she Maud Tho bulwark of Freedom—tho pride of tho LandT What parties and factions of transient renown In her Century's life have come up and gone down. While she looking on in her vigilant way, Poked her fun at the furce, or her hand at the frnv,; And ’si ill, to her honor, whatever the fight,. Had a word and a blow in defence of the right. She hailed the first triumph of Liberty’s cause. And the motto to-day Is “The Union and Laws.” She stood by tho flag when Old England once more, Unschooled by disaster, invaded our shore, And got theold lesson repeated so plain '•*he scarcely will need to be taught it again I And when It befel that tbe toileting Piute, For the wind ot distention that Faction and Hate * • • Through the length of the Land bad been sow ing afar.' Was reaping the whlrlwlndof treason and war, Rtlll true to the Union see Tammany siand WitbVthe oldstarry banner” still firm In her t‘ and, •. foes at tho South would tbe Union di vide, And fools at the North were for “letting it slide!’ - Success to old Tammany! therefore. I say, (How sweetly she smiles on the festal d. y;) In health, strength, and beauty, long may she stand. The bulwark of Freedom—the pride of tho Land, / ,l livennia,volo, THE LONGEST MO.Vrjl IN MY LIFE I nm a married man, and one who, in that capacity, lias Been many moons be side the honeymoon; but the longest month In my life by far took place when I was a bachelor. It is true that I was in love during the period in question, but it was not the frantic expectation of com ing bliss which clogged the wheels of time. My beautiful and accomplished Eliza had nothing to do with it. I re peat, it was not-she, nor the anticipation of her, which put the break upon the train of life so sharp and‘strong. The passion which for thirty days protracted my existence so painfully was one more potent even than that of love—lt was that of Abject Terror. Some males are' absurdly proud and boastful,of their physical courage, always imagining that somebody has called it in question, breathing forth fire and slaugh ter against persons of more diminutive s&tature than themselves on the.slightest ; lustful for combat; forever sharpening their loof.h. For my part, any assumption of this kind would be n« misplaced as though a gentleman with out a nose should plume himself upon his personal charms. The delicacy of my organization is so extreme that the snapping of a percussion-cap in my neighborhood—let alone powder and ball —has been sufficient, from my youth up, to cast me lulu a prluse perspiration while the excessive refinement of mind lias still further increased this peculiari ty. lam like a magnificent race-horse which lias been oveitralned (although, indeed, frit cornea to speed, I could hold my own with the bravest) ; hut I nm do hors de combat— no battle charger. If I .were a mau-of;.war, I should make as good a running fight aa any ship in her Majesty’s service; but for any other spe cies of combat, let me climb a tree and look 6b. The satisfaction which my known dis inclination for battle has difldaed among my male acquaintance is universal. If I had designedly consulted ...the greatest happiness of the greatest number, I could not have conferred that boon more uni versally. Man is a bully, who is never so pleased as when he is flapping his wings over some other cook of the walk, who has succumbed to him ; and at mv approach there was aot one in our-vil lage circle who did not begin to crow. Major Blazer, late of the Plungers, but now retired to this pastoral S’ litudo of Tlnyton Parva, Inflated himself as I drew near, as if he were on remnant about to ascehd, who carried his balloon Inside him. It did not displease me to feel morally certain that I was indirectly hastening the major on to his natural doom of apoplexy. He hectored he do mineered, he turned all sorts of colors, in liis' tremendous superiority, and, In f«ot behaved himself in all respects after the manner of a faun-yard turkey-ccok ; nav he was Inferior to that foolish bird, Insomuch as the major would never have been good eating, although you might have easily •devilled’ his legs with the expressions he made use of. He had some, more or less, Satanic expletive for his each paitlcular limb and feature; and when Tie had consigned them all to perdition, lie used to begin with mlne,- If In short, the major was a specimen or them oqrtroops had not degenerated in the accomplishment of bad language since the davs ill which they swore so terribly In Flanders. My unassuming presence incited this warrior, I felt con vlnued, to coin anathemas, and there fore for ids own sake, as well as my cfcvn, I kept out of his way as much as possl bie Dr. Carvem, who hated the major be cause he habitually designated the medi cal portion, of tils late profession as tiaw honeses, and who will, I know, defer the opening of hla vein, when that apoplexy dors come, as long as lie decently can; vet joined with the dismounted Plum er ill trampling upon my moral carcass.— After having been walked over (111 spurs) at Powderham Cottage, the doctor would come on to No. 1 Pigeoa Villas, and take it out on me. ~ . _ . Our rector, the Eev. Bubble Fyst, waa OI>E. A BTOBY FOB THE DOG DAYS. CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, JULY 28, 18T0. cs combative as either of these, and de rived nn equal p’easure from my compa ny. The circle of poclety for which that divine was intended by nature is* I feel convinced, the prize-ring j and although he is always talking about his ‘cloth,’ I have ne? er seenone rag of it about iiim. except. indeed, he means the table ololh —for he is the best trencher-man in Tiny ton Parva. •If it were not for my cfoth, sir,* ho would Pay, swinging bis colossal right arm, or exhibiting to me the ro.upcles thereof, os though he were my hired model, *1 would astonish that man. He should not poach twice in my spinney, sir,' And if Mr P. were to publish his ‘Short Way with Dissenters,’ it would be a very striking performance indeed. When these three gentlemen met to play at cards, and I was the fourth; it ma\ be conjectured that the evening did not pass rapidly; but long as that long whist often was, the.longest month in my life was not passed In that amuse ,ment,ms many an evening, was, amid 'the contempt of my adversaries, and the unnatural detestatinri of my partner. My four weeks’ misery lies at the door of no human being. ‘Ghosts!’ murmurs the fair reader be neath her breath, os, she edges nearer to the bell-handle; it is going to be a ghost story alter all.” No. madam ; your exquisite intution has failed you for once- Ghosts have. given me'many a long night, which, ad ded together, would doubtless make up a month and more. I have dreamed of them; I have awakened; - and* sat up in bed to think of them, to.llsten for them ; I have met them (or something very near like them) both indoors and out of doors after nightfall, to thegreatdiaturbance of my equanimity, but, nevertheless, it was not a ghost that made that month so long. If was nnUlier man tioi* woman, It was neither ghost nor human. nor was it a ghoul* It was a dog, ma* dam, a great black dot?* which went ra vine mad in the month appointed by the calendar for dogs to do so, and hit me in the teg, , Pome persona are fond of dogs ; or, at least, are gifted with a natural indiffer ence to,them. Their,bark does not cause any thrill of terror; their objectionable habit of sniffling about ones* ankles ex cites no apprehension ; but it is quite otherwise with me. Many a picturesque ruin have T omitted to explore in my ar tist rambles, deterred by the presence of a dog; and many a country inn have I passed by fasting for the same reason. — it is true that there were 4 often ‘people about* {ns the saying is) in these ca«es. who would have doubtless oalled oft the rapacious animal, had he attacked me; hut called him off from whotf From my mangled remains, which he would very likely not be permitted to devour, but not from ray unscathed and original form. Many a guinea—be condescends in reality to take 10s. Cd., but both doc tor and patients prefer to speak of the fee as (bough it were lon fees—many a gui nea of mine, Isay, has Dr. Onrvem miss ed through keeping that horrid terrier „pup which used to sit and snarl at hi« garden gate, until It wa*»"ohe dav,devour ed atacu'phy the rector’s Newfoundland dog. Rather than encounter the small but ferocious creature in question, I have often taken a long country walk instead of his master’s advice, and cured my in digestion without a dinner pill from his dispensary. If bo had kept a cat instead, It would have been a clear ten pound a yearin bis pocket, not to mention.the absence of dog tax—the wisest impost, by the by, in my opinion, that was ever laid by a patriotic parliament upon a country that does not know what Is good (nr it. What was far worse, however, than the doclnrV-wiw .that Jonathan Oatlands of the Home Farm, the father of mv then beautiful Eliza, kept a couple. Thev used to sit on e‘th er side of his garden .pole, like the lions in the Pilgrim's Progress, and I was Mr, Faintheart, who never dared pass between them lo ring the. bell. I dure soy Eliza thought me very remission the days when T didn’t call ; but although I would readily have gone through fire nnd wrder (in moderation) to oblige her, I cniild not face the terrible creatures, Jock and Jumbo. These huge black beasts delighted in cont« st t tor, as Dr. Watte observes (who, of nil poets, under stands dogs best), ‘it was theirnature U» ; and when they had no one else to grow at, they absolutely growled at one anofh er; this! know , for I have heard them scores of times, whemthey doubtless be lieved themselves to be alone, as.T stood behind the angle of the wall wailing for somebody to bear me company through the perilous pass they guarded. I never knew the creatures .apart —which was Jock and which was Jumbo—nor, in deed, was it necessary that I should do so, since they were always together. My Eliza pretended to he very fond of them, but from the first I pave her to under stand that she must choof© between me •and them—‘lsove pm, love my two blnok dogs,’ being too great an expansion of the proverbial demand to be tolerated for a moment. It was Alienist; and the weather was more than usually ‘seasonable,’ which Is the expression, T believe, used by all well regulated persons, when His either too cold in winter, or too hot in summer.— The tiles of No. 1 Pigeon Villas Were like those of a Dutch oven ; the white road .threw hack the heat into bur first floor windows like a meat screen. All Tinyton Parva was baked ; its thin folks were dried up like mummies, its fat folks simmered and shone. Major Blaze**s purple countenance glistened ns he mov ed, like one of his own cucumber glasses, A public meeting was convened, sider the propriety of muzzling all, clogs whatsoever,! and I need not say upon which side my vote, my Interest, and my eloquence were enlisted ; hut the major (out of mere bravado, for he kept no. dog) was dead us; ro was the master of the terrier pup. of course; and so was the Rev. Duhble Eyst. This last gentleman pooh-poohed every precaution with a contempt that was positively in decent. ‘He was afraid,’ ho said, 'of no dog living, either mad or sane. If peo ple would only understand how to treat these animals, the smallest child might subdue the moot, dancerous of mastiffs.- A little swith of hazel or willow was all that was required. He was Imagining an extreme cose; hut when the dog made its leap at your throat (sensation), all you had to do was to strike its fore-feet sharply with the switch, ancf the crea ture would instantly turn tall and flee. The parson was known to he an emi nently practical man, and hissneech was conclusive; the dogs went about unmuz zled. and the men with hazel switches and directions for use. Even I carried a little switch about myself, although with the same belief in its efficacy a* in that of a divining rod. In the middle of Au gust, 18 -, I was returning from a coun try walk with my portfolio under my arm ; the day had been deliriously pass ed In a certain beech-wood, where I hail heeitomakfng a ‘study’of a tree for dear Eliza’s album. I was not aware how in tensely warm it had been beeches do not get red lint) until 1 lejc the wood and reached the blinding road, which had been receiving tlie ravs of the •sun for so many, hours; »the ground al most scorched my feet; in five minutes 1 became as ‘dusty and deliquescent’ as any of Sydney Smith’s stout female cler gy, for there was not shade ..enough on either.side the wav to accommodate a thermometer; and I was'at least'a mile and ahalf from Pigeon Villas. Sudden ly I heard distant shouts, and that sort of tumult which is called In old stage di rections ‘an excursion.’ There was cer tainly something of an axciting nature occurring In the village. It could not he the mummers, because^hey only appear at Christmas: nor could it be Jock In the Green, who belongs only to May; and unless for these excitements. Tinyton Parva was sunk In torpor all the year round. Presently I heard a gun go off, which caused me to regret that I had left the ahelter of the beechwood so far behind me. What covld have happened ? I did not believe the French had landed, for they would scarcely have dared to do so during Major Blazer’s life time; but I did think that there possibly might be a general rising of tho peasantry. For oil that! kmw, Tlnyton Parva, and what ♦•as-worst, Miss Eliza Oatlands, of the Home Farm, might be in the very arms of revolution. A horseman at full speed comes fleeing frrtm the scene of disorder. ‘The yeomanry, then,’ said I to myself, •are routed, and the poaching portion of tho cnmmuniry are probably roasting the Rev, Bubble Fyst and ray future broth er-in-law before aslow fire* I had al ways warned them that their game-pre serving,Would lead to something of this sort. Ah the man drew near, I recogniz ed in him a farmer in the neighborhood, and culled out to know what was the matter. j*Oh! nothing,’ answered he, as he fled by ; ‘only a mad dog. OneofMr. Jnnuthuu Outlaud’s black uns is running a muck.'i I sat down in the dry ditch by the road side, and mopped my forehead. Only a mad dog! Good Heavens, had It air ready bitten Eliza! Had it bitten that little curat the doctor's door which lay between home and me I These horrible apprehensions were absorbed by a dan ger so terrible, so real, that the hair of ray head arose, and swayed tremulously from side to side, as a held of corn Is agi tated by contrary winds. I beheld upon the horizon of the road a speck, a dot, a comma, (alas, it was far from being a fulla’op) which approaching with hide ous velocity, expanded, and disclosed a black dog running with his,tongue out— ttie always abominable Jumbo, and now MAD. When I recovered my senses I found myself in my own bed.at No. 1 Pigeon Villas. I saw this very literally ‘with half an eye,’ for ,I felt too exhausted to thoroughly arouse myself, and as soon as I had become aware eff my position, I shut the lid again, and pave myself up to reflection. A dull aching pain in my left calf materially assisted my meraorv In recalling what had happened, and ther.o was a suppressed bum of conver sation about me, which supplied; the rest. ‘He wqs first seen by my dashed gar dener,’ exclaimed a pompous voice fa miliar to mr. ‘running like the devil's own, and ejaculating; ‘That dashed Jumbo has bitten me; run for a dashed Sawbon.s.’ ‘Mr. Palette has his faults, sir, but he does not swear.’ returned Mr. Bubble Fyat, sternly. ‘No man shall swear in my company, major, mind that; no mat ter who he Is ’ ‘Right, sir,’ assented a third voice, tremulous with passion; 'nor la Mr, Palette accustomed to apply scandalous and Ignominious terms lo a profession which in all ages has obtained the re spect and— ’ ‘Come, come,’ Interrupted a fourth person, who .was no other than Mr. Jonathan Oatlands himself; ‘do not wrangle, gentlemen, over what may ho a dead man before the dav is out. It is your place to advise. Dr. Carvem, and ours to assist you to the best of our pow er. Now, what is to be done?’ ‘The only effectual remedy.in cases of this kind.’ observed the doctor, Ms ex cision of the wounded part, nnd that. I am afraid, has been already deferred too long ; that twitching of ihe leg you see affords presumptive evidence of the virus having entered Into the system. Still—l have not my instruments with me, but if the poker lain the kitchen fire* something may yet be done by cauterization.’ ‘Slop!’ cried I, with vehemence, start ing up,in bed, and addressing the compa ny ; ‘ listen to me, apd desist from your fiendish purpose, for I am not mad at what I say I mean. If you venture no uiuen ns to my « nnger on. me, you. sir,.or you, or you. I’ll bite I’ and T opened my jaws, to illustrate this thieat, to'the uttermost. In an instant the room was cleared, nnd T.'had sprung nut of bed and locked the door. They had fied from me, those braggarts, like chaff before the wind. — The brutal and licentious warrior, the fiirhtirgparsoh, the cold-blooded disciple of science, the stubborn and hard handed agriculturist—ha, ha, ha, ha! Gracion goodiM ss. .why. did I laugh like that ? Was! I hen already a lunatic? Was Jum bo even row permeating my system?— Yes; I C'uld not conceal from myself that I fella sort of longing to go upon all-fours ; to smell things ; to throw back, my head, and howl at the shades of evening,' rs was the nightly habltof that abominabe 'animal.*' I crept between the shee’s again, and tried to think (hat I was onlv retiring Ip/fest a little eadler than usual, and IhgTtbero was nothing the matter. ' There came a knock al the door. ‘Mr. Piileite,’ said the doctor through the keyhole, ‘we mean you no .harm; the time is gone by for the operation you seem so much to dread. Open the door, nnd, forHeaven’ssake, com pose yourself; yntir reason and your Hfo alike depend iipnn your keeping mind and body tran %> qnll. Piay, open the door.’ To Ihia reqnest. with the proviso, that his myrmidons should take their depar ture forthwith, T consented, and Dr. Carvem examined the wound. It tfaa a Eer feci ly visible dog bite, but inconsidera te in extent, and unattended with much inflamalion. , ' .. • la Jt not possible that the cloth of the trowsersmay have wiped the virus from his teeth ?’ Inquired I, with anxiety. He merely made a snap in passing, as I lift ed that ridiculous switch to keep him off.’ , . , * ‘A.snap!’ sighed the doctor, despond inglv; 4 ah, that’s an almost certain sign of rabies. No,. Mr. Palettee, -it would-- ,only be cruel to deceive you. T knew a case which occurred to a lady of the.flrst fashion—a patient of my own, sir—a patient of my owij, sir—whose clothes were torn by a dog in a similar condition, he never even so much os touched her skin at ell. The lady sewed up the rent with Impunity* but unfortunately bit of! the thread with her teeth, and the mis chief won She refused hock and soda water—her favorite drink, sir—upftn the thirteenth dav. and I hart the honor of forming'part of the funeral cortege, which was upon a style—-But you must compose yourself, Mr. Palette—you must indeed. Now, what I was about to sug gest is this: do you think you could bear a kettleful of boiling wafer poured, slowly on this little abrasion ? in deed. it Is nothing more. This Is the very beat remedy, with the exception of the actual cautery which science has sug gested ; but it requires a little firmness on the patieut. II you wijl permit me to confine your arms and legs with this bell rone-—-Lem-mego, Mr. Pulalalate— lemrae^oslr— my did-di-dear friend, let m i hall very nearly suffocated the man, I had leaped from my couch, and pinned him bv the neck to the wall. His cra vat was always tight, and I had almost made an end of him. Bulling water, in d€ * e ßeware,’ cried I, ‘ beware lest you taste of my despair, and learn by proof in some wild hour how. much the wretched dare!’ I saw the doctor’s cold eye quail before me as I executed a son of war dance of defiance 111 my day shirt. This hectoring fellow was but a coward then, after all. ‘ Now,’ cried I, ‘ tell me the worst, or perish, Dr. Carvem. Mention the very earliest time at which, if l am to die, the madness will make itself apparent.* • is T oman haseverexhibited the disease as yet,' murmured thedocior, tremulous ly * before the eleventh day.’ retreated once more to my pillow, prostrat'd anQ unnerved. Ten days of agonizing indlclslonl It would he' enough to'drive a man mad, even if he had not been bitten at nil! 1 And wliut Is the earliest period at which you will be able to certify me out o fdanger?’ ‘ Not till this day month,’ returned the doctor, solemnly; * a month 1» the very earliest at which I could risk my reputa tion by a decision.’ It was this* as may be imagined, which-was the c Longest Month In ray Life* I was perpetually feeling my Jaw, to discover >vnether it was getting locked or no. Whenever I took the least chill, I imagined It to he that rigor which js one of the worst features of When I hgd the slightest disinclination to take my usual quantity of sherry; the misfortune of that lady of fashion who bad omitted to use scissors was brought to my remembrance, as it were, by a hearse and six. If there wastheslightest itching where the mark of the bllqjiad been (for it soon disappeared.) I gave my self up for lost. The only satisfaction I enjoyed during this awful period, was that-of imposing terror on those who had once plaved the bully over me. ' I walked into the parish church one afternoon, while the Rev. Dubble Fyat was christening an infant, and he could, scarcely get through the service for sheer fright. He ,shook so that I thought he would have droped the babe; and all be cause I looked a little wild; and asked whether there was much water in the font* The doctor passed bis daily visits to me In a state of abject trepidation. I bad been forbidden by Mr. Oatlanda to come near the Home Farm, * until my malady hud declared itself, orl wns-safe' (a most ridiculous alternative;) but I walked into his oak parlor, and demand ed to see my Eliza, like some feudal baron addressing his meanest vassal, and Eliza came* .1 explained to her that I should abstain from kissing her, for fear of the possible consequences of contagion, and the dear girl assented to. that pruden; Ual resolution without a murmur.. It was the evening of the last day of this long, long month that I sat with the Beloved Object In the yew-tree arbor of the garden of the Home Farm. With the morrow’s sun Ishould welcome, as it were, a new existence safe and sane, I might then venture to look , forward to live a life like other men. was on tho threshold of happiness, and felt almost as secure as though I had passed it. I could even converse upon the calamity which had so deeply darkened the last few weeks of my life with comparative calmness. I was describing how full of the thought of mv Eliza I-had been; how elastic my step, how joyous my whole being, when the black dog Jumbo, like some wicked magician, had appear ed on the horizon, and blasted all things. ‘The, village clock,’ sa*d I, with dra matic emphasis', ‘bad tolled the solemn hour of five —’ ‘Nay, love, it must have been long be fore five.’ interposed E lza, ‘Excuse mo, dearest,’ rejoined I; *1 not only beard the clock strike, but com pared ii with my own watch at the time. My last feeling of consciousness in con nection with Jumbo, was that heappear ed in sight exactly at five o’clock. Al though X was at some distance, 1 heard the chimes distinctly, and they reminded me, dearest, of marriage bells.’ ‘Our Jumbo was shot before five o'clock, I know? asserted Eliza, 'with greater posiliveness than at that time, I could have Imagined her capable of ex hibiting. _ * Then he bit mo after death,’ returned I with calmness. A terrible suspicion flitted across the beautiful countenance of my Eliza. ‘The Ides of .March, or at least of Sep tember, are come,’ thought she; ‘but they are nqt yet gone. My Augustus is losing ids senses after all.’ • I perceived her suspicions, but thought it belter to make no observation. ‘And What is become of Jock?’ asked I, with indifference* •Alas,’ said she, with a little tremor In her tone, ‘nothing has been heard of that poor dog from that day to this. He food the Beech wood road at full speed dm inatNnt tiiai nis unhappy Urmner was despatched, and mortal eye has not since Jlt-upon him.’ . t . ‘Yes, it has,’ cried I, with a jubilant shout, and leaping a foot or two into the air—‘ves,,it has, my Eliza. Don’t be afraid. This eye has lit upon him. I see it nil now. There lias never been the slivhest chance of my going mad.— It was Jock that I met, and not Jumbo. The shot I heard in the village whs the latter animal’s death knell. I shall now proceed to kiss you, ray Eliza. Don’t be afraid.’ The next half hour in that yew-tree arbor wn* by very fur the shortest thirty minutes in'that month. I subsequently walked home on air upborne by Cu pid’s wings. As I passed Powderham Cottage, I saw Major Blazer walking in his garden, and a sudden yearning for revenge took possession of me* In an instant, I hud vaulted over the little gate, and was by his side; To say he started would be to give but a feeble idea of the jump lie gave. ‘Ha, ha I’ cried I maniacally, *a beauti ful morning, is It not? (It then about 9 o'clock, P. M.) How nice the sun shines, don’t it ?’ * Ye-ye-yes 1 ’ stammered the major, looking• towards his door. ‘lt shines dashed nicely’ ■ ‘Major Blazer,’ returned I, with fiend malignity. ‘you He, and you know,!*. It Is evening, sir; nay, it Is night. 800 I’ * Ye-ye-yes, sir; Itfn night.’ I saw he was looking for a weapon, and got between him and a spade that wan sticking in, a.flower-bed. ‘ I am come to dine with you,’ex-, claimed I, with enthusiasm. ‘I cannot touch wine oi even water to-day, aome lio v, but I fancy I could touch tea.. I don’t think it would give me those strange spasmodic twitehings that other liquids do. Ha, Ha, HAl’ The major’s purple countenance had changed to a livid whiteness. He could scarcely keep his legs, they trembled so as he edged backwards. His fingers were, however, upon the door-handle as I made my grand coup. • •Do you observe anything in my oough major, besides Us being musical?’ And T coughed as much as possible an imita tion of the canine species. ‘Do you know Dr. Carvem says— 1 41 Inunother instant, thecloor woHslamm ed with the utmost violence in my face, and I heard the major putting up the chain, and calling for his pistols. *Ha, ha!’ shrelked I, ‘you're nothing but a fat coward.’ And finishing with three decided barks through the keyhole I hurried home. The Longest Month in inv Life was thus eatlsfoolorily ended, and it has character ; I do not so much refer to my marriage with Eliza, as to the increased respect with which I iira treated by the three raagnificoes of Tinyton, Before I was bitten by Jumbo (as was supposed,) I was at a disadvantage in theircompany. They had found out my weak point, and I was not aware that such doughty indi viduals as they possessed such a thing. But now, on the sliehest. approach to hectoring on the part of any of them. I have merely to cough in a certain signifi cant and dog-like manner, and they change color, and are civil upon one in stant. They remember that I have seen them all with their white feathers on In that Longest Month of my Life. A stotiy Is told of a Parisian lady who preserves her beauty by plastering straw berries over her face every night and washing thorn oil in the morning. The fair creature has for some time past been annoyed by a troublesome creditor. The other dav he called before her beauty ship had' risen, and insisted on forcing hia way into her bedroom to demand In stant payment. But fools rush In where angels fear to tread. Ho had no sooner got into the room than hia fair creditor cried out‘My dear Mr. Dun, how could you bo so Imprudent as to approach a person suffering from amkll-poi? Look 'at mv poor face!’ The creditor gave a shriek, darted out of the room, aud has not since been heard of. Jerhold said one day he would make a pun upon anything his friends would put to him. A friend asked him wheth er he could pun on the rlgnsof tbozodiao tOwhloh hepromptly replied, “By Gem- I'inl,'! Cancer,” VOL. 5T.-NO. 7 SNAKES IN INDIA. I acinde lias a most unenviable reputa tion fur snakes fit Is computed that eight or ten persons are killed ever# week bv the bites of these loathsome reptiles-; but they are commonly natives. The Euro peace do not go Into the by-places where the natives go—do not attempt the par ticular work that they do, and nro diff erently lodged. One of the chiefs of the Scinde Informed the writer that at the begin nlng of the rainy season the snakes were so numerous that, although he con fined hia road in the vicinity of the town he was obliged to carry a stick with him to throw them out of the way; these were not, of coursei all venomous ser pents. 1 ' You seldom speak to a man who has passed any considerable time In India, who lias .not, on one occasion, seen-a snake Itr'nls bed-room, which is not very much to he wondered at, seeing that the warmth of the clothes' must be very at tractive to-the reptiles. Three or four Instances have come to the writer’s own knowledge where the cobn» has been found under a pillow on which a man has br»en sleeping all night. It in but seldom, however, that a sleeping man is bitten by a reptile; and, indeed, liter snakes ifmoredeadly,douotbiteofourth of the , number that are bitten by scor pions, which latter are a perfect curse. Of course, the! interior of a large city is • freer from the reptiles than Is the lonely up country village; but even In cities it is not uncommon, after } a storm of rain, to see a cobra twlstiug in the flooded gut ters; which same is a very suggestive' fa'*t, and not a pleasant one. If onlyone venomous serpent were known to be at large in, we will say, Hyde Park, what ■ terror and consternation would , prevade. < the west of Loudon ; yet, let it be a common thing that such creatures should infest the place for a few years, no one would trouble himself about it. One gentleman had a-narrow escape, the particulars of which wo learn from himself. He was about to remove from one inland station, to another—not rail way stations these, although I may ob serve, he. was surveyor?—and his trunks were packed up. These were removed to a sort of a shed, awaiting the bullocks which were to takethem, when it struck him that a small one was insufficiently cor'ded. He lifted it, and saw .that one girth of the cord had coraeoff* It was twilight, which it- equivalent to saying it was almost dark; he could see the cord lying on the.spot from which he had ta ken the box. He stooped to pick it up, but us ho did so, the supposed cord reared Itself in the hideous curve of the cobra, ami.threw back its head: The surveyor leaped desperately aside, just as the creature launched himself at him. Not all the medicaments in the 'vorld could give him twenty-f« ur hours’ life had he been one yard closer, to the line of its spring. He snatched a steel pointed rod which he used in his profession, and stre’ched the snake with a broken' back upon the floor. It was believed that the cobra had dropped from the low rohf of the trunk, and he had (then crept under it. It was a long time ere my Informant could speck calmly of this incident. A Parisian Banker's Experience. Who has not heard of the failure last week of the house of J. Chavillot, bank er ? ‘A fraud !’ said one. ‘Bad management!’ said others. ‘He is a knave!’ said the majority. Let us.see which of these, if any, are right in their judgement. Jean Chavillot did not come to Pans In sabots. He entered with hare feet, seated upon the fool hoard of the diligence. His only acaualnlance was his grand-un cle, who afte>’a time secured him a situ alion_as assistant sweeper in a banking house. This was in 1638, and Jean was then nine years of age. In 1848 he was a clerk in a bank ; in 1849 cashier. lu 1860 his uncle left him a small fortune. With this he went up on the bourse, and succeeded so well that In 1864 he opened a banking house of his own. ; ' • - A business man of prompt habits and exact dealing, he soon acquired the con fidence of the public. His paper was never disc unted—it was simply chang ed. , ' . . He soon after married Marie du HouJet an adorable woman of twenty, who brought him as a dower a email knowl edge of English and a piano. He mar ried in the face of more brilliant offers, and in refute of all advice, because he knew she loved him. Who would not adore Chavillot.young, handsome, distinguished and good ? As for him, he worshlped Marie. ’ She was* enchanting. Her nose .was finely cut, with rosy nostrils ; .her mouth small with rosebud lips; iier eyelashes long and black, and surrounding great eyes of a blue-brown ; her face oval; her ears di minutive shells-vof pearl, and all these surrounded by hair of blonde auburn, fine and glossy ns silk. They were handsome, and they loved each other. : ' Ah, It was a hnppy marriage, and most people regarded them with envy. Two children came to add to this hap py life. Jean, occupied with his-busi ness, confided the care of his house to his cousin Charles, bis cousin, who had come from tlie country, whom he dress ed, whom he treated as a brother, and in whom he placed implicit confidence. Charles was a tall blonde, with the large nose of a Savoyard, and a timid and awkward air. Often at the supper would Marie make sport of his awkwardness. , ‘He loves us so much,' said Chavillot, ‘why will you not treat him more-kind-' ly ?’ - The evening before a certain day oflast week, Chovlilot went to his office and found that Charles had riot arrived. At nine o’clock, a porter brought a note from Charles, in which be said he was ill, and would employ the morning car ing for himself. Chavillot went to work. A man pre sented a bill for payment, and Jean went to his safe for some money. It was open I , He paid the man some money from his pocket. Alone, he shut himself up In the safe room, and commenced an ex amination—the money which had been collected for the semi-annual paymentof that day was cone. A cold presplratiori came out on his forehead, a fever seized him, and he as cended to bis rooms, Hia wife was ab sent, but, two hours later, she came back. Jmuo raged and blasphemed, and told her Marie threw herself In his arras. For a long time they held each other, weep ing, and devising means to defend them selves against the frightful catastrophe^ It was Marie who first spoke of suicide —of death In each other’s arras, Jean viould hear to no double-sacrifice-rhe would kill himself, but the motherofhls children must not. • ' That evening Marie, all In tears, went to the house of her mother. Alone In his chamber Jean reasoned : •What will the world say? They will sav I made an adrlotßpeculatlon.and that Charles is not the thief, out my accorn- P *AU the time he had in his hand a little packet of white powder. . 1 , ‘No! no! it would bo^icrime!’ But then there came to him the words of his wife: , ~ ‘I would rather die, than hear you call ed a bankrupts . , . With a trembling hand he tore on his collar cravat, wiped the cold perspiration from his forehead, and then ho emptied the powder Into a gUss of water. Placing his hand over his heart, as.tf to prevent it bursting through, he closed his eyes and swallowed the draught. He reeled a moment .upright aud then staggered to his bed. '. . , , He believed that death only awaited sleep in order to come for him. Poor Jean ! Racked by strange pangs, he gave utterance to cries that attracted Hates for * ADv»RnsKMinrra wul bp inserted at Ten Ooni per lino lor the first insertion, and five cena per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Qaar orly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements in serted at a liberal reduction on tho abovo rates Advertisements should ho accompanied by the Cash. When sent without any length of tlm specified for publication, they will be continued until ordered out and cnarged accordingly. JOB PRINTING. CARDS, HANT>nti.M,OincTn.Aßa. on rt every erdeporlntlnnof Jon and CARD Printing. thealtenf lon of hfs servants. They forced open the door and sent fora physician. In brief Chavillot awoke the next rrornlng, feeble, prostrated, but out of danger. He had taken an overdose of arsenic. With feebleness there came to him rea son. After nil, the loss could be almost remedied. Hia personal property would almost meet the payments. Nothing was. yet known abroad. Charles had disappeared. He sent for Mario.. An hour later he was told that she had been at her moth- , er’s hoqne. Ah, how ho trembled; per hnna she had killed herself. For five days he had heard nothing— On the sixth.the police sent him the fol lowing: A woman answering the furnished de scription, embarked on the Me steamer Europe. She accompanied a blonde.man of some thirty years of age, with "& timid nir. They were registered ns Charles Muelan and wife, and they bad with them two children. Jean remained .In a stupor for sonde moments after reading this note, and then he rushed wildly into thestieet. Hi nee that he has not been seen. Is he living or dead ? • ■ O c isf .f ItAnraa.- nn yesterday, said: • . ‘He has gone to America. ? •To avenge himself ?’ ‘Come now! Chavillot is - a man of sense; he goes to rejoin them. 1 Tho Religion Dickons. Much has beerw said concerning the religious opinions of the illustrious Dickens, His writings have been fre quently denounced for their low.religU ous tone, while the generous love ofhu-, inanity which pervades them has been universally acknowledged. But Dick ens, like Shakespeare, was utterly free from the least taint of that narrow big otry which so often passes current for true religious sentiment. The zealot will search the works of Dickens in vain to discover a Pne that will afford the slightest encouragement for intolerance. In delivering the funeraForatlon oyer the remains of' Charles Dickens, Dean Stanley read the following extract from his will:. “In that simple but sufficient faith,” concluded the- Dean, “Charles Dickens lived and died. In the faith he would have you all live and die also; and if arty of you have learned from his works the eternal value of generosity, purity, kindness and unselfishness, and to carry them out in action, those are the beat .‘monuments, memorials and testlmorii-" als which y*.u, his fellow-countrymen, can raise to his memory.”—Pnff iot, . BREVITIES. The original meaning of chignon la cabbage. Heads of cabbage—oh, ladies. God writes the gospel, not in the Bi ble alone, but on the trees and flowers, and clouds, and stars. He who does his best, however little, is always distinguished from him who does nothing, , . If the best man’s faults were written on his forehead, it would make him pull bis hut over his eyes. Teacher—‘Who was David?’ Boy— • The son of Jesse.’ Teacher —|And who was Jesse V Boy—'The flower of Duin blane.’ . A little girl of eight or ten summers being asked what dust was, replied:‘that was mpd with the juice squeezed out.’ * It is said that the reason there are so iriuny muttonheads in exiatmine, is to ho found in the fant that such a number of .children are‘perfect little lambs.’ The Esquimaux says: ‘Aman who lias three wives in this world is sure of heaven in next.’ He ought to find peace, somewhere. A Cincinnati; paper advertises .for ‘girls fi-r cooking.’■ A contemporary re plies: 'You would like them belter raw, when you get accustomed to them. - When,Real was sentenced to death, in New York, he replied, “Very good, sir; is that all, Judge?” A Virginia negro cocked a eun and blew down the muzzle to\ee If it was loaded. He didn’t slate his conclusion, but the by standers who saw his head fly off, think that it was. A young man in Ohio recently opened a clothing store and was sent to jail for It- Reason—the clothing store belonged to another man. A gentleman nnuiug his whiskey punch a little,too hot, blew hia breath, to cool it. “Youjdow your own horn Isee,” said his comrade. Why is the letter R very unfortunate? Because it is always in trouble, wretched ness, and misery, beginning of riot and rule, and is never found lu peace, inno cence or love. A man up in Vermont soys that when lie was a hoy ten mills made one cent, hut he lias got ten mills In different purls or that state that don’t make a cent at the present price of flour. . 1 A rocky mountain paper, noticing the invention by a Chicago man of a pro cess by which a dead body can be petri fied as hard as stone, thinks the inventor “ought to accompany out troops on the frontier, where be could «drive a pretty good business in petrifying Indians, and Belling : them for tobacco signs.” During a fiue.starlight evenlnglately, a juvenile philosopher, after & silent and profound scrutlnyof the heavens, asked' his mother abruptly wherethe stars came frqm. Mamma replied: “Idon’t know, Willie.” “Yes, you do, too.” “No, Wil lie, I don’t know v>here the stars came from.”—“Well, you bet I do. The moon laid ’em.” A few days ago a countryman shopped at the Maxwell House, Nashville, for dinner. The waiter inquir' d what ho would have, and was (old by the country man to bring '‘something of what ho had.” The waiter brought him a regu lar dinner upon small dishes; as is the usual form, and set them around bis plate. The countryman surveyed them care fully for a moment and then broke out: “Well, I like your samples, now bring me dinner." A boy was caught stealing candy,and was locked up In a dark'corner byagro cer. The hoy commenced begging mos pnthelically to bo.ieleased, and after ua ing all the persausion that this young min'd'could invent ho proposed: .“Now, if you will let me out and send for my lather, bo’ll pay you for the candy and lick me besides.” The grocer could not withstand this appeal and released tb urchin." A young man who had spent a little of his own time and a good deal of his fath er’s money in fitting himself for the bar, was asked for his examination how he got on. “Oh, well,” said ho, “I answer ed one question right.” “Ah, indeed!’ said the old gentleman, with .a look of satisfaction at his son’s peculiar smart ness. “And what. was that?” “They aslted me what a qui iam action was.” “That was a hard one I and you an swered it correctly, did you?” “Yes,T told them I did not know.” AN Irishman made a sudden holt into a drug store, took from his pocket a soda, water bottle filled to the brim with some pure liquor, and handing it across the counter exclaimed; ‘There, doctor, snuff that,'will you?’ The doctor did os ho was directed, and pronounced the liquor to be genuine whiskey. ‘Thank you doc tor;’ said the Irishman. ‘Hand it to me again, If you please,* the doctor again did as directed, and asked what he meant. — ‘Odh, thin,’ said Put, ‘if you will have Jt. the priest told me not to drink any of this unless I got It from the doctor, ho here’s your health, aud the priests feeaith.’