£lic SVmcritcm Dolimtcct*
pOBUSBED EVERY THURSDAY MOUNIHO
BY
DbAT'TON & KENNKBY. . ,
orricE-sovTn biabket squabe.
—nua*—Two Dollars per year If paid strictly
Two Dolliinmnd Fifty Cents If paid
In u.« three months; niter whieh Thred Dollars
Wl ..h!lfl»mn(wl. Those terms will ho rigidly ud
*‘ll im in evory Instance. No subscription dis
until all arrearages are paid, unless at
»■ til. Iftntor-
jjrofEo«fnnnl tfarDs.
XTHUMIiKIH. I WM. U. DAUKBK.'
jj UMBICU & PARKER, .
tl attorneys at law.
Office on Main Street, in Marlon Hall, Car-
In'e. U no__
pec. i WE~*. . ■
fTNITEB STATES CLAIM 7
AND
BEAL ESTATE AQEJSTOYt
M - . B. BUTLER;
ATTORNEY. AT LAW,
nffleeln ZdStory of InhoiTs Building, No.BSouth
Hanover Street, Carlisle, Cumberland county
Bounties, Back - Pay, &0., promptly
N ippneaUon» by mall, will receive Immediate
1 Particular attention given to the selling or rent-
Inaof Real blstute, In town or country. In all let
nniof Inquiry, please enclose postage stamp.
July 11,1KH7—tr
ijl £. BELT2HOOVER,
'ATTORNEY-A T-LA W 9
OAUbtaLB, Pa. .
«.Offlce on South Hanover Street, opposite
Emu’s dry goods store,
jiec. i,. IM*5-
WM. J. BH.EARER, Attorney and
t'uuctsuLLOK at Law, has removed Ills
omce to the hitherto unoccupied room in the
Nurtb East corner of the Court House.
Juu.a>,’«w-Iv "
W KENNEDY, Attorney at Law
t Carlisle. Penpu. Office same as Ihutot
Uie“Aiuencan volunteer.”
Dec. I iww ■ .
jAiXEd H. GRAHAM, Jr., ,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
NO. 14 BUI’UH HANOVER ST.,
rmslr/pa,
OFFlCE—Adjoining Judge Graham’s.
March 81,
Ip L. 8 HRYOCK, Justice of the
w, Peace. Othce No 3, Irvin's Row, Carlisle.
April *29. lNiß—ly , •
| vU. GEORGE 6. 6EAKIUHT, Den
1/ TIST. t'nna the HnUmtmr (hl/tue 0/ iftnful
mgery. Office at'the resilience of his luuther
East Lnulher street, three doors below Bedford
Carlisle, Penua. -
Dec. 1 IHUS.
B/ REYNOLDS, M. D.
0 iniuate of HAHNEMANN MEDICAL CQL-
U.*Qc/, Philadelphia,
Office, 2 ; West LouiherSt.,at residence of his
naliier, Carlisle.
Juuo 9,7o—Biu*
Dll. I. Y. HEED, HoniHopuiliiu Phy
detail, has located m Carlisle, Office next
ui»>r (<> St; Paul's ' Evangiltcul Church, Uest
toother Street. . Patients irom a distance please
cull lu the forenooh.
March 17, Ittf'l—t)m*
JJDWABD (SHILLING, M. D.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
jYo. 20 J&vit Pum/rct Street,
CAiILIsLB.
Dr, Rhllting was associated with -Dr. Zltzor, in
this place, l'<>r u year or so, and has been practic
ing m Dickinson township, for,three yeuis. All
profeindonal business promptly attended to.
April?, Ib7o-3m
"UTES. B. HIRONS, Attorney and
'' coayxEfrba at l 4 ir.
FIFTH tiTBhET, BELOW CHESTNUT,
Cor, Library,
Philadelphia.
oct4. ISOD-ly
'i£?ats and iflaps
URiSciil BUiIMJiitAKJUVAL
OF ALL THE
NEW STYLES
OF
HATS A N D C A P S .
Tbe subscriber bos just opened at No, 15 North
Ra>uwer Street, u few anon* North of the Carlisle
Deuuiill Bank, one of the largest and best Stocks
of HATS and CAPS ever olfered In Carlisle.
Silk Huts, Cussihiere of all stylus and qualities,
Stiff Brims, dltrereni colors, and every descnp
llub of Soft Hats now .nude.
The Duukurd and Old Fashioned Brush, con
ituntly on hand aud made to order, ail warrant
id to give satisfaction.
* A full asset tment of
MEN'S,
, BOY'S. AND
. • CHILDREN'S.
HATS.
have also added to ray Stock, notions of dlffer
mt kinds, conslsUug of 1
LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS,
ftcfc lie*, Utispendrra,.
Oollart, Uioves, ‘ '
Pencils, . Thread,
Sewing Silk, Umbrellas, &o
PRIME BEGARS AND TOBACCO
ALWAYS ON HAND.
Give me a call, and examine my block as I feel
outtdent of pleasing all, besides saving you mo-
JOHN A. KELLER, Agent,
■ No. 15 North Hanover Street.
May. 1809.
A'i'a AND CAPS!
I DO YOU WANT A NICE HAT OR CAP ?
IF SO, DON’T FAIL TO CALI. ON
J. G. GAELIC,
NO. 20. .IVES 2 MAIN STREET,
Wherecan beaeen the lineal assortment of
HATS AKP CAPS
ver brought to Carlisle. He takes great pleas
lit) iu Inviting his old friends and customers,
uiialluew bueM, to his splendid stock just re-
Hived from New York and Philadelphia, con
atiug In part of line 4
BILK AND OAHBIMERE HATS.
ifißldea au endless variety of Hats and Caps of
be latest style, all ol which be will sell at the
'*wat Oath Prices. Alsu, hts own mauuiactuie
Huts always on hand, aud
HATS HAN U FACT URED TO ORDER.
fie barthe best arrangement for coloring Hats
>Qd all kinds of Wooloil Goods, Overcoats, &c., at
shortest notice pis he colors every week; and
bu the most reusuuubie terms. Also, a tine ol
poice brands of
TOBACCO AND CIGARS
Mtrays on baud. He desires to call theattentlcm
to persons who have
1 COUNTRY FURS '•
Psell, as ho pays the highest cash prices for he
I4IUO,
I Uive him a call, at the above number, bis >ld
llaua, as he feultvcohiidcut Of giving entire su - is
waiou.
itsbti.
iiouts ano sbljoes.
& bPONBLEB,
No IB;, thoui/i Hanover Street,
CARLISLE, r.PA.
Thankful for the patronage extended* them
,r ‘i ro f ti ' now auiioaaua their usual large
loc * of SPRING.tii’YLKd of
boots and shoes
•FORJ
LADIES’ AND MISSES', 1
feOENTS' AND BOYS’,|
„ h .. YOUTHS’A'D CHILDS',
,c “ are unrivaled for comfort and beauty,
TRUNKS AND VALISSES,
Men and BOYS' HATS,
fAllof which will be sold at small profits, Call
tuujy* Uli uuti Kot * * uU equivalents for. your
April, 12 n,7o—ty
"lAN UIDATE FOB BUEKIJFF I
lnjS OUQ .^ is always open for strum fa
-1-7' *jud wlu have no objection wli .tovor lo bo
Lmh. l iorahorilT, It uls Democratic friends
f ,“ l tJ U(Ji ntuuU> luiu. In tuo meantime, us II
r' «i Cl at. Hume and attend to his
faji.. u ‘ 4lUBv, »will uo impossible lor blin to
P l ' upjutiidirioQdsui various parts at me conn
requests tneia all t» oill at hit 6 hup,
R') '* List Loonier street, Carlisle, w.iere ho is
jf/Hj prepared to furnish tbu ueat-st fits in
lm 1 of any eat. bll.shment In tbo
imiily, ti u in now wording up tu • very best of
r'°f ‘it reduce.! paces. Extra heavy nulus sup*
[atnJ to on. oountr inon is wuo don’t want to
K P'-alcr# i with candidates.
iUruu 81, is 71MUU. ADAH DYBEHT ’,
• . - ___-_ _ .. _
. .
. •. - . f
Ike . • ~,,•1••:•:i,•,:-- 1 . , 2:'...:•.: ••••••1;•"Z
..... ,
.
- .. I
ill
4 ,
. ,
.„ .,
. „,,
N
•
. .
•
. • '
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY.
0n» (Boons.
QHEAP DRY UOOJUd,
CHEAP DRY GOODS.
AT THE
NEW STOEE,
D. A. SAWYER,
D. A. SAWYER,
Irvine’s Corner. Irvine’s Comer.
Bargains in
LAWS,
G HEN ADIN ES.
HERNANI3.
% . BEREGES,
LACE l uiaxs,
SUMMER BJdLAWLS,
LACK CURJ AIKd.
PARASOLS, FAJSS, ac.
Piques,,
Marsahles,
* logic at the prices.
CALICOES, ■ 8, . 10,.' 12M,
MUSLIMS. Im, S, 10,. 12)1,
GINGHAMS, 121?, 14, 15, 17,
TICKINGS. 14. la, 22, 25,
Cheapest Pants Slufl Jri the town.
Cheapest Cloths uml Cass’niors in <he town.
Cheapest Hosiery In the (own.
Cheapest Gloves mid Handle's, in the town,
Cheapest Notions, all Unids . in the town,
. hivESS GOODS,
Cheapest DeLulnes .In the town
Cheapest Poplins In the t >wii
Cheapest Alpuccas black <t col'd in the town
Cheapest Hluck & Fancy silks in the town
Cheapest Japanese in the town
WHITE GOODS,
Cheapest Piques Fig, striped • In the town.
Clu-upfat iSluibUilles, in me town,
Lheap(*bl> Percales jh llie town.
Che»peBt,CUintzes In the town.
Oin'up si Eim-roiiierles* Laces in the town.
Cheupei't C’olhiraA UulTa In Uie town,
Cheapest Table niueu In the town
Oii’eupeai .'•upinn.s, &o. iu tilt: town.
A splendid article Pique 25 eta. All other
goods In proportion. Cunm ami examine lor
yourselves. Nu trouble to show goods, Our
uiotlo is small proilis and quick sales.
. T ese goods have been purenas d tor cash, at
presell*. gold prices, uud vv‘ecuu bell you uew
goods twentv-llve po cent, less limit they will
ch > rgo you fur old guodb ut other stm es.
i>. A. sJA W YER.
Juue2, Ib7U.
GOODS! DRY GOODS!!
ATTRACTIVE SPECIALTIES
HARPER’S
POPULAR DRY GOODS STORE.
Pure msed dating tne greatest depression In
Die market, uud la be Bold al correspondingly
low prices.
DRESS GOODS,
comprising all the novelties of the season,
iIOUBNING AND
SECOND MOURNING GOODS,
BLACK SILKS, BLACK SATIN TAMISES,
in extraquallty, Pure Mohairs, Brack Alpaccas
(Specialty.)
WHITE GOODS,
Piques In great variety and latest styles.—
French Muslins. Nunsonks. Cambrics, Bishop
aud \ Icturiu Lawns, Tarletous, dec., &c.
HOSIERY AND GLOVES In great variety.
Guipure Laces—best and cheapest stock In
town. Real Valenciennes. I’hreud Laces, In*
sellings, Embroideries aud Lace
Collars.
LINEN, GOODS,
Linen for suits,
Linen Ducks and Drills,
Pillow Case Linens,
Linen Sheetings,
Whits Holland for Blinds,
Table Llnefis and Napkins,
Doylle Towels,
White 6preads,’&c., 4c.
BOYS’ CASSIMERES AND MEN’S WEAR,
newest styles, leas than regular rates.
SPECIAL NOTICE!
Opening 0 f
LLAMA LACE POINTS,
LLAMA LACE SOCKS,
BEDOU IN'MA NTLES,
SHETLAND SnAWLS
THOS. A. HARPER.
Cor. of Hanover and Pomlrotsts,
June 23.187'.
Q.REAT CoMljj|TloN
DRY GOODS,
On account of the redaction In Gold, the Dry
Goods Merchants whoundeistand their business
and the certain signs of the times, have icduccd
the priceoi theirgoodscoriespondmgly. Thesun
serliiers have just received from the cities a
large aud full assortment of all kinds of
FOREIGN & STAPLE GOODS,
which they will sol! lower than they have done
since IBUI.
SILKS,
Wool Do Latnes, Alpacas, Poplins, Sergos, Bona
bozlues, Tamiso Cloih, Grenadines,
FLANNELS OP ALL KINDS,
Plain and Fancy, Linen Table Diapers, Cotton
do.. Checks, Tlckia gs, Ginghams, Counterpanes
EMBROIDERTE
a full lino; White Goods In great variety,
HOSIERY, GLOVES, TRIMMINGS
and a full stock of
DOMESTIC GOODS,
Calicoes, Muslins, by the piece or yard ; Grain
bagfl.
CLOTHS, CABrfIMERS, &o„
CARPETS, OIL CLOTHS,
Druggets, Window Shades. Matting'
MILINEBY GOODS
of all kinds, Including Ladies ami Childrens
Hats ami Sumlowns. and the b«*Ht assortment
and host qunlltyof Him Ribbons In the county.—
Knl Gloves, (best m ike,) lowelry, Fancy Gauds
and Notions lu great variety. This
MAMMOTH STOCK OP GOODS
tne largest In this section of country, la offered
a, prices that defy competition, and all we nsk
Ik a fair examination by g aid Judges of goods to
satisfy the public that this Is the place to buy
and save money.
LADIES’ UNDER WEAR,
A nice assortment of Ladles’ Under Clothing
very handsomely stitched and trimmed at
reasonable prices.
VVoOL u*lteu in exchange f ir goods,
BENTZ «ft CO.
At the old Dry Qaeda stand .established Feb
ruary Ist, IHIO.j
Hatch 8.—70 „.
Itll’K WHEAT.
We bent to-rtny o’er a coffined form,
And our tears full softly uonn;
We looked our last on the aged face.
With its look of ponce, Us patient grace,
And balr like a (silver crown.
Wo touched our own to tho clay-cold hands,
From life’s long labor at rest;
And among the blossoms white and sweet,
Wo noted a bunch of golden wheat,
Clasped close to tho silent breast*
Tho blossoms whispered of fadeless bloom,
Of a laud where fail no tears.
Tho ripe wheat told of toll and care.
The patient waiting ihe trusting prayer,
The garnered good of tho years.
We know not what work her bands bad found,
What rugged places her feet.
What cross was ber's, what blackntssof night
We saw but the peace, tho blossoms white,
Aud the bunch of ripened wheat.
As each goes up from tho fields of earth,’
Bearing the treasures of life,
God looks fur some gathered grain
From the ripe harvest that shining stood.
Bat waiting the reaper's knife.
Then labor well that In death you go,
Not only with blossoms sweet—
Not bent with doubt, and burdened with fears
And dead,'dry husks of the wasted years
Rut laden with golden wheat
Mi,slAlll3lTaltrli.
CLRIOII-H DIIKAJI,
CONTAINING A MORAL.
. Night before' lust I bad a singular
dream. I seemed to be silting on u door
step. (In no .particular city, perhaps)
luminating, and the time of night ap
peared to be,abnut’twelve * rone o'clock.
The weather was balmy am! delicious.—
There wan no human sound in the air,
not even a footstep. There was nosound
of anything to emphasize the .dead still
ness, except ihe occasional hollow hark
ing «>fji dog in Che dlstanceand the faint
er answer of a further dog. Presently up
Urn street T heaid u bony cluck-clucking,
and guessed it was (lie castanets of a
serenading party. In u, minute more a
tall skeleton, hooded and half olad in a
tattered, and mouldy shroud, whose
shieds were dapping about the rlbhy lal
lice work of its person, swung by me
with astutely price, and disuppeuied in
the gray doom of thenstarlight. it had
a broken and worm euien ettiu on its
shoulder and a bundle of something in
Its hand. I'knew.what the clack-clack-
lug was, then-r-it was this party’s joints
working together, and his elbows knock
ing against his sides us he walked. I
may say I was surprised. Before I could
collect my thoughts aud enter upon any
speculations us to what this’apparition
might por end. 1 heard another one com
ing—for 1 recognized his clack clack. —
He had two thirds of a coffin on his
shoulder, and some foot and head hoards
under his arm, I mightily wanted to
peer, under ids hood and speak to him,
but when he turned and smiled upon
me with his cavernous sockets ami his
I rojecting grin us lie went hy, I though*
1 would not detain him. He was hard
ly gone when I heard the clucking again,
and another one issued from the shad
owy hulMight. This one was bending
under a heavy gravestone, and drugging
a shabby coffin after him by a stiing—
When lie got to me i e gave me a steady
look for. a moment or two, and. then
rounded to and backed up to me, saying.:
‘Ease this down for a lellow, will you ?’
I eased the grave atone down till it
rested on the ground and in doing so
nmiced thut It bore the name of ‘John
Baxter Cnpinanhurbt,’ with May, 1839,*
us tlie dale of his dead*. Deceased sat
weariiy down by me and wiped Ids os
frontis with ids major maxillary— chb-ffv
from former habit, I judged, for I could
not see that he broughtuwuy any pers
pimtlon.
‘it is too bad, too bad,’ said be, draw
ing the remnant of the shroud about him
and leanii g his' jaw pensive-y on hfa
hand. Then he pul Ids left loot on ins
knee and lell to scratching Ids ankle
bone absently with a rusty nail which he
got out of his coffin.
‘What is too bud friend?’
‘Oil, everything; everything. I al*
most wish 1 never hud died.*
‘You auppriae me* .Why do you say
tide? Has anything gone wrong? What
is the mailer?’
‘Matter I* Look -at this Hhroud-r-raga.
Look at this gravestone, all battered up.
Look at that disgraceful did coffin. AU
a man’s property going to ruin ami de*
Htruction belure ins eyes ami ask him if
anything is wr ug? Fire and brim
alone I* _ • ~
.‘Calm voureeT, calm yourself.* I sa a.
Tt Is ioo*had—it is certainly too bad, but
then I had not supi osed that you would
much mind such mutters,situated as > ou
are. 1 ■
‘Well, my dear air, T do mind them.
My pride is hurt and my comfort is im
paired—destroyed, I might suy. I wil
put it to you in such u way that you can
oom| r-bend it, if you will let me,’said
I lie poor skeleton, tilling the hood of his
shrou-l buck,.as if he wereclearlng forac
tlon, and thus unconsciously giving him*
sell a jaunty and lestive air, very much
at. variance with the grave character of
his position In life-aoto speakr-and in
prominent contrast with his distressful
mood.
•Proceed,’ said T.
‘I reside in the shameful old grave
yard, a block or two above you here, in
1 1 1 ib street. There, now, I just expected
that curtilage would let go! .Third rib
from the bottom, friend, hitch the end ol
It to my spliie with a stiing, if you »iuve
got such a thing, about you, though a hit
of si I ver wire Is u great deal pleasanter,and
more durable and becoming, if one keeps
h polished—to think of shredding out
and going to pieces m tills way, just on
account of the Indifference and neglect
of one’s posterity and the poor ghost
grated bis teeth in u way that gave ine a
wrench and a shiver—for the.effect is
mightily Increased. by the absence ot
muffling flesh and cuticle. ‘I reside in
ihu 1 olit graveyard, ami have for these
thirty yeanTj and I tell you things are
changed since J flrst laid this old tired
frame turned over and stretch
ed out for a long sleep, with a delicious
sense upon me of being done with both
er, and grief, and anxiety, and doubt,
and fear, forever ami ever, and listening
with comfortable and increasing auliriau
don to ihe sexlon’s work, from the start
ling cla ler i f his first spadeful on my
eoffln till it dulled away to the faint pat
ting that shaped the roof of my new
home—delicious ? My! I wish you could
try it to-night?’ and out of my reverie
deceased fetched me with a nulling slap
with a bony hand. ' _ . ~'
‘Yea, sir. thirty years ago I laid me
down there, aud was happy. For it was
out in the country, then—out in the
breezy, flowery, grand old woods, and
the lazy winds gosalpped with the leaves,
and the squirrels capered .over uh and
around us, ami the creeping things visit
ed us.andlhe birds. Ailed the lianqull
solitude with music. All, It was woith
ten years of a man’s life to be dead then I
Everything was pleasant. I was in a
good neighborhood, for all the oead pen
pie that lived near me belonged to the
best families in the city. Our posterity
appeared to think the world of us. 1 hey
kept our graves in the veiy hast condi
tion : Hie lencea were always in faultless
repair, headboards were kept painted or
whitewashed, and were replaced with
new ones as soon os they began to look
justy or decayed ; monuments were kept
upright, railings intact and bright, the
rosebushes and shrubbery tiimmed,
trained and Iree from blemish, the walks
clean* and smooth and graveled. But
that day Is gone by.
‘Our descendants have forgotten us.—*
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY; JULY U, 1870.
My grandson lives in a hodse
built with money made by me, and I
sleep In u neglected grave with Invading
vennlne that g'*aw my shroud to build
tl eir nests withal I 1 ami friends tliut lie
with me founded and secured the pros
perity of this line city, and ■ the'atdlely
'house, bantling of our loves, leaves is to
rot in a dilapidated cemetery which
neighbors curse uud strangers scoff|lit.—
See the difference between the old [time
and this—for instance: Our g.ravei are
all caved In, pnw; our headboardsfha%e
totted and tumbled down, our lullm-s
reel this way and that way, wilb one
foot in the air, after a fashion uf unseem
ly levity; Our monuments lean, am our
gravestones bow their beads discouraged :
there be uo ornamehis any more, no,
roses nor shrubs, nor giuveied Walks,
nor anything that is a comfort to the eye,
and even llie;puintlesa old boary fences
that did make a show of holding us sa
cred from companionship with beasts and
the* defilement of heed ess feet, bus tot
tered titl it overhangs the street, and only
advertises the presence Of our dismal
renting place, and invites yet more deri
sion to it. And now we cannot hid*
our poverty and tatters in the (riendly
woods, for the city ha-*stretched its with
ering arms abroad and taken us in, and
all that remains of the cheer of our old
home is the cluster of lugubrious forest's
trees that stand, bored und weary of city
life, with their feet In our collln, look
ing into tiie huzv distance and not wish
ing they were there. I tell you it is dis
graceful!
‘You begin to comprehend—you begin
to see how it is. While our descendant**
are living sumptuously on our money
right around us in the city,, we have to
H_ht hard to keep scull and bones to*
gelher. Bless you there isn't a grave in
our cemetery that doesn't leak —not one.
Every lime it rains in the night we have
to climb out and roost In the trees—and
sometimes we ate wakened suddenly by
the chilly waterliickllngdoww the hacks
of our necks. Then I u-ll you there is a
general’heaving up of old graves-and
kicking over ol old moiiumen s, and
scampering of old skeletons for the trees.
Bless me. if you hud gone along there
some such nights afier twelve you might
have seen as many as fifteen of us roost*
imr on one limb, with our joints rattling
drearily imd the wind wheez ng through
our tilts! Many a tlnie we have perched
there for three or four, dreary houis, and
then come down,stiff andchftled through
and drowsy, and borrowed each other'*
skulls to bull out our graves with—lt you
will glance up in my mouth, now as 1
till my- .head buck, you can see (hat my
head-piece is half lull of old d y sediment
—how top heavy and stup’d it makes,,me
sometimes ! Yes, sir, many a thn j If you
had happened to come along just before
the dawn you’d have caught us baling
out the graves and hanging our shrouds
on the-fence to dry. Why. I had au
elegant shroud stolen from. there ' one
morning—think a party by the name of
Smith took it, that resides in a piebian
grave yard over yonder—l think so lie
cause the first time I ever saw him he
hadn’t any thing on,«but a check shirt,
and the lust time T saw him, which was
at asocial gptlietihg in the new cemelc
ry, he was the best dressed corpse in the
company—and it is u significant fact that
he ieit when he saw me; and presently
an old woman from here missed her cof*
fin—sire generally.took it witli her when
she weht anywhere, because sire was lia
ble to take cold and bring on the spas*
medic rheumatism, that origlnahy kill
ed her, if she exposed herself to tire night
air much, She was named Hotchkiss —
Anna Matilda Hotchkiss —you might
know her? ■ She has two' upper front*
leeth, Is tali, hula good deal inclined to
stoop, one rib on .the left side gone, .has
one sirred of rusty hair hanging from tire
left side of her head, and one little tuft
just above and a little forward of her
right ear. has her under Jaw wired on
one aide where it had worked lose, small'
bone of left forearm gone—lost in a tight
—has a kind of a swagger in hei gait and
a ‘gullua’ wav of going with her arms
akimbo and her nostrils in the air—hns
been pretty free and easy, and ia all
damaged and battered up till ahe looks
(Ike a queensware crate in ruins—maybe
yon have jnet her ?'
‘God forbid!’ I Involuntarily ejaculat
ed, for somehow I, was not looking for
that form of quea’iou, and It caught me
a litth* off my guard. • But. I hastened lo
make ameuda for my rudenei*s and say:
*1 simply meant I had not iiad the hon
or—for I would not-deliberately speak
discourteously of a ft lend of yours. ■ You
were saying that you were robbed—and
It was a shame, too—but it appears by
what Isjeft of the shroud you have on
that it was a costly one in its day. How
did— 1
A moat ghostly expression b°gan to
rlev ‘lop among the decayed features ami
shriveled integuments of my guest’s face,
and I was beginning to grow uneasy and
distressed, when lie (old me he was only
working-up a deep, sly smile, with a
wink in it, to suggest that about the
time he acquired his present garment a.
ghost in a neighboring cemetery missed,
one* This reassured me, I begged
him to confine himself to speed), thence
forth, because his facial expression was
uncertain.
Even with the most elaborate care it
was liable to miss lice. Smiling should
especially lie avoided. Wliat he might
i onestly consider a shining success was
likely to strike me mi u very different
light. I said I liked to see a skeleton
cheerful; even decorously playful, but I
did not think smiling was a skeleton’s
best hold. ’ -
4 Yes, friend,’ said the poor'skeleton,
‘ the facts are just us I have given them
to you. Two of these old graveyards—
the one T resided in and one further on
have been deliberately neglected by our
descendants of to day until there is no
occupying themuuy-ionger. Aside from
the esteological discomfort of It—and that
is no light matter this rainy weather—
the present stale of things is ruinous to
property. Wo have got to move or be
content to see our effects washed awoy
and utterly destroyed. Now, you will
hardly believe it, but it Is true, neverthe
less mat there isn't a single coffin la
good repair among all my acquaintances
—now ihatisuu absolute tact Xdo not re
fer to people who come in a pine box
mounted ou an express wagon; but I am
talking about your high toned silver
mounted burial case, monumental sort,
that travel under plumes at the head of a
procession aud have choice of cemetery
lots—l mean lolks like the Jarvises, and
the Bledftoes. ami Burllugs, and such.
They are all about ruined. The most
substantial people in our set, they were.
Ami now look ut them—utterly used up
and poverty stricken. One of the Bled'
sues-actually traded his monument to a
lute barkeeper lorsome fresh shavings to
put under his head. I tell you it speaks
volumes, for there is nothing u corpse
takes so much pride in as his monument.
Ho loves to read the inscription; he
comes after awhile to believe what It
says, himself, and then jou tuay see him
sitting on the lence night after uignt
enjoying it. Epitaphs are cheap, and
they do a poor chap a great deal of good
after he is dead, especially if he had nurd
luck while he was alive, I wish they
were u«ed more. Now I don't complain,
but confidentially, I do Chink it wusa
little shabby In my descendants to give
me nothing hut this old slab of a grave
sione—ana u 1 the more that there isn't
a compliment on It, It used to have
. * GONE TO HIS JUST REWARD,'
or *
i it, and I was iiroud when I first saw
>i, but by uml by X noticed that wbeiever
an old friend of mine came along he
>youid hook his dun on the railing uml
pull u long luce and lead along down till
ne came to that, and then he would
chuckle to himself uml walk off looking
stuislled and comfortable. tfo 1 ucrulched
It oil' to gut mof those loots, But a dead
man always lakes a deal of pride in his
niom*meiu. Yonder goes hall a dozen of
the Jarvises, now, willi iff* lumily monu
ment along; and iSimibers and some
hired spectres went by willi h’S a winie
ago* Hello, d.iggius } goud bye old frieudl
That's Meredith Higgins—riled in ’44—
belongs to our set In the cemetery—line
old family—great-grandmother was an
InJnn —I am on the fnost familiar terms
with him—lie didn’t hear me was the
reason he didn’t answer me, and I am
sorry, too, because I would have liked to
introduce you. You would admirei him.
He in the most disjointed, sway-backed
and generally distorted old skeleton you
ever saw, but.he in full of fun ; when he
laughs it sounds like rasping two stones
together, and he always starts it off with
a cheery screech, like raking a nail across
a window pane, llev, Jones I That Is
old Columbus Jones—shroud cost four
hundred dollars—eutire trousseau, in
cluding monument, twenty-seven hun
dred. This was in the Spiing of *23— ft
was enormous style for those days—dead
people came' all the way from the
Alleghenies to see'his things—the party
that occupied.the grave next to mine re
members it well. Now do you see that
individual going along with a piece of a
head-board under his arm* one leg bone
below his kneegnue, and not a thing in
the worldqn? That istiarstow Dalhouse,
aud next io Columbus ones be was the
most sumptuously outfitted person that
ever eutered our cemetery. We are all
leaving; we cannot tolerate the treat
ment we are receiving at the hands of
our descendants. They open new ceme
teries, but they leave us to our ignoiny.
They mend the streets, but they never
mend anything thatisahout us or belongs
to us. Look at that cofilu of uilne—yet I
(ell you in Its day it was a piece of lurnl
lure that would have attracted attention
in any drawing-room in this city. You
may have it it you want it—l can’tafiord
u> repair it—put a new bottom In her,
and part of a new top, and bit of fresh
lining along the left side, and you’ll hud
iter.about us comfortable us any receptacle
of herspecies you ever tried. No tlnuius
no, oon’t mention it—you have been
civil to me and X would give you all the
property I have got before I would seem
ungrateful. Now this winding-sheet is
a kind of sweet thing in its way, if you
would like to . No? Well, ju»t as you
s.iy, but I wished to bo fair and liberal—
there is nothing mean about me. Good
bye, friend, 1 must be going. 1 may
have n good way lo .go to-night—don’t
Know. I- only know one tiling certain,
and that is, that I am on the emigrant
trail, and I'll never sleep in the crazy old
cemetery again. I will travel till I,find,
lespectable.quarters, if 1 have to hoof it
to New Jersey. Ail the hoys.are going ;
it was decided In public conclave, last
night, to emigrate, and by the lime the
sun rhea there won’t be a bone left In
our old habitations. Such cemeteries
may suit (ny.surviving friends, but they
do not suit tiie remains that the
honor' lo make these remarks- My
opinion is the general opinion. If you
doubt it, go and see bow the departing
ghosts upset things before they started.
They were almost riotous in iheirdemon
atrutlonsof distaste. Hello, here are
some of .the Bledsoes, and if you will
give me a llft with the tombstone I guess
1 will join company and jog along with
them—mighty respectable old family, the
Bledsoes, and used to always come out
in sixdmrse hearses, and all that sort ol
thing fifty years age, when I walked
these streets in daylight. Good-bye,
friend. 1
And with his gravestone on his should
er he joined the grisly procession, drag
ging Ins damaged coffin after him, lot
notwithstanding he pressed it upon me
so earnestly, I utterly refused his hospi
tality. I suppsse that for as much ns two
hours these sad outcasts went clucking
by. laden with their dismal effects, ano
all that time I sat pitying them. One or
two of the youngest and* less dilapidated
among them h quired about midnight
trains on the railways, but the rest seemed
unacquainted with that mode of travel,
and merely a*ked about common public
roads to various towns and cities, some
of them are not on the map, now, ami
vanished from it and from the earth as
much as thirty years ago, and some few
of them never existed anywhere bpt on
the maps, and private ofiea In real estate
agencies at that. And they asked about
the condition of the cemeteries in these
towns and cities, and about the reputation
Che citizens bore as to reverence of the.
dead.
This whole matter interested me
deeply,.and likewise compelled my sym*
pathy for these homeless ones. And it
all seeming real, and I not knowing ft
was a dream. I mentioned to one shroud
ed wanderer au idea that hud entered
rm bead to publish an account of this
curious and very sorrowful exodus, but
said also that I could not describe it
truthfully, and just us it occurred, with
out seeming to trifle with a grave subject
and exhibit uii irreverunee for the dead
that would shock ami distress their sur
viving friends. But this bland and stale
ly remnant of a former citizen leaned
him far over my gate and whispered in
my ear, and said :
“Do not let that disturb you. The com•
munil.i/ that can stand such grave yards
as those wo are emigrating from can
stand anything a body can say about the
mg ected and forsaken dead that lie in
them." •
At that very moment a cock crowed,
and the weird procession vanished and
leitnot u shred or a hone behind. 1
awoke, aud found myself lying with my
head out of the bed and 4 sagging ’ down
wards considerably—a position favorable
to dreaming dreams with morals in them,
maybe, but not poetry.
Mark Twain.
A revolutionary soldier was run
ning for Congress, and his opponent was
a young man, who had ,4 never been to
the wars,” and it was the custom of the
old Revolutionary loteilof the hardships
he had endured. Said he—
I “Fellow-citizens: I have fought and
bled for my country. I helped to whip
the British and the Indians. I have
slept on the field of battle with no other
covering than the canopy of Heaven. X
have walked over the frozen ground till
every footstep was marked with blood—”
Just about tins time oueof the sover
eigns, who had become greatly inier
sted In his tale of sufferings, walked up
u front of the speaker, wiped the tears
from his eyes with the extremity of his
coat tail, and interrupted him with :
“ Did you say you had fout the British
and the Injiug?’,
“Yes,’ sir.”
44 Bid you say you slept on the ground,
vbile serving your country without any
blver?"
‘•I did.”
’•Dili you say your feet covered the
ground you walked over with blood?”
‘1 did,” said the speaker, excitingly.
“ Well, then,” Bald the sovereign, uh he
ga?e a sigh of tearful emotion* ”1 guess
I’ll vote for t'other fellow ; for I’ll be
blunged if you uiu'l doue enough for your
country.”
‘Jfes. H.,’ exclaimed a little urchin, on
running luto a near neighbor'd house,
‘ ninjher wauled me to ask, would y«
please lend 'er yer candle-molds?’
Tt/e molds were given him, and he ran
home. In a lew minutes he returned
witli thin query: •
'Mother wants to know if ye'd be kind
enough to lend 'er some wiukin'?*
The wicking wan measured oil, and
heagaln departed. But he booh appeared
Ufc’aiu, ami bald:
4 Mother would be bo thankful if you
hid u little taller ye'd be bo kind as to
Und her?'
Mm* H., good-naturedly produced the
diblred article, und us the boy started for
Uo door, she said :
4 Wouldn't your mother like to have
me come over and mold-the candles fur
h*r?'
4 Wal. yis,' replied the boy. I reckon
slic’d like It fust rate 4 cos she didn't un-
Ueiutaiid It very well; but she don’t like
to be troublin' her neighbors, so she
wouldn't ask ye.' *
A red cheek is an ornament, but a red
nose is hardly so.
A TUUE STOUT OF Tllfi KKVOMJ
TIOItT.
Just at the close of the Revolutionary
War there was seen somewhere in one of
the amqll towns of central Massachu
setts a ragged and forlorn looking soldier
oming up th • dusty street. Ho looked
about on the cornfields tasseling for the
harvest; on the rich bright patches of
wheat for the sickle, and on tho green
potato held with curious eyes—so at least
thought Mr. To,wne, who was walking
leisurely behind him, going home from
the reaping to his supper. The latter was
a stout farmer, dressed in home-made
hrown linen trowsers,. without suspen-
efeis, vest or coat. The rugged, soldier
stopped under the shade of a great sugar
imipie, and Mr. Towne, overtaking him,
stopped also.
'Home from the war?’ he asked.
'Just out the British clutches,' replied
the man; ‘l’ve been a prislouer for years.’
He replied suddenly.
‘Can you tell me who lives In the next
house? la it yours?’ *
‘No,* replied Towne; Tompkins lives
there. That house and burn used to be
long to a comrade of yours, ns I suppose
his name was Jones, but he was shot at
Bunker Hill, and his widow married
again I’
The soldier leaned against a tree. —
‘What kind of a man is he? X mean"
what kind of people are they there?—
Would they likely to let a pooraoldler
have something 10 eat?’
*1 f Tompkins is out, you’d he treated
first rale there. Mrs. Tompkins Is a nice
woman, but he is the snarliestcur tliut
ever gnawed a bone. -He Is u terrible
surly neighbor, and he leads her a dog’s
life. She missed it marrying that feliow
but you see she had a hard tune of ii
with the farm after ones went off sol
diering, ami when ray son came back nod
said he was dead he.saw him bleeding
to death bn the battle Held—she broke
right down, and this Tompkins came
along and got into work for her, and lie
laid himself out to do first rale. He
somehow grit on tiie blind side of us ami
when he .offered himselfto lief, I advised
"er to have him, ami I am sorry that I
did it. You hud better come home with
me. I always have a bite for any poor
fellow that's fought for his country.’
‘Thank you kindly,’ returned the sol
dier, lint Mrs. Tompkins is a distant— a
sortof ij «ld nccquainianceJ Tiie fact is I
used know her husband, and guess I will
call there.’
Mr. Towne watched h'im as he went to
Lite door and knocked ami saw that lie
was admitted by Mrs. Tompkins. ‘Some
old sweetheart of hers, may be,’ said Mr.
Towne, nodding to himself. He comes
too lato, p« or woman, she has a hard row
lo hoe nmv, then Mr. Towne went io
supper, and we will go in with the sol
dier. •
‘Could von give a poor soldier a mouth
ful lo cal?’ he asked of the pale ami ner
vous woman who opened tiie door.
‘My husband does not allow me to give
anything to travellers,’ she said, 'hut I
always feel for tiie soldiers coming back,
and I’D give you some supper, if you
wont be long about it,’ and she wipedher
eyes with iier while and blue checkei
apron-and set with aluoiity about provi
ding refreshments for the poor man, win
hud thrown himself into the nearesl
chair with his head leaningoi) his breast,
seemed too tired .even to reradve his hat
from Ids face.
*1 am glad you have eat, and I won
not hurry you for anything,' sue said
a frightened way, ‘but you eat quick
won’t you? for I expect every moment
he.will be in.’
The man drew his chair to the table,
keeping his baton his head, ns though
lie belonged to the Society of Friends,
but that could not be, lor the‘Friends'
do not go to the war*. He ate heartily
of the bread and butter and cold meat,,
and how long he was about it!’
Mrs. Tompkins fidgeted. ‘Bear me,’
she said (o herself, ‘if lie only knew, lie
wouldn t be so cruel as to let Tompkins.
come in andcafch him here.’ 'She went
and looked from the window uneasily,
but the soldier gave no token of bis meal
corning to an end.
‘Now lie Is pouring vinegar on the cold
cabbage and potatoes. I can’t ask him
lo take Chose away in his band. O, dear
how slow he is! hasn’t tiie man any
teeth ? At first site said mildly, 'I am
very sorry to hurry you sir, but could you
not let me spread some bread and butler,
and cut some slices of meat to take away
with you. My husband will ihq very
tbusive language to you if he finds you
here.’
Before the soldier could reply, footsteps
were heard on tiie door stone of the back
door and a man entered. He stopped
short, and looked at the soldier a* a
savage dog might look. Theivho broke
out in a tone betweeu a savugp growl aud
a roar.
*‘Hey-day Molly, a pretty piece of
busiuess! What have I told you, time
un<l again, madam? You’ll find you imd
better mind your toaster, and you, you
lazy, thieving vagabond, let me see you
clear out of my house anti off my land.u
great deal quicker tlmu you came ou the
premises I ’
‘Four house! and. your land ! 7 exclaim
ed the soldier, starting up suddenly,erect
hill and dashing off' his Imt with a quick
fiery gesture. His eyes flashed like
lightning, and his lips quivered with
indignation us he confronted ttie aston-
ished Tompkins The latter was ufiuid
of him, and his wife gave a sudden shriek
when the soldier first started to Ids feet
mid flung of his hnt, and hud sunk
iremhliug and half fainting in a chair,
for she recognized him.
‘You Iniin’t any business to interfere
between me and my wife, 1 said Tomp
kins, cowed by the attitude of the sal
Tiler.
*Your wife!’ exclaimed the soldier,
with the very concentration of contempt
expressed In his voice, and. pointing to
him with an indignant finger.
Whom©youV’ asked Tompkins with
un ufr of effrontery. .
‘I am Hurry Jones, since you asked, 1
replied the soldier, ‘the owner of this
house and land, which you will leave
this very hour! as for Molly,.’ softenb g
his tone us he turned to the woman now
sobbing hysterically, ’she shall choose
between us.’
‘O Hurry !’ sobbed she. while Tomp
kinsstood dumb with astonishment, ‘take
me, save me!’
With a step he wasatherslde, holding
teriuhis arms* 4 Whut do you (bean,
treating thin poorrhild so? Do you think
because she hud no earthly protector, that
there was not a Qud in heaven against
you ?’
No man who is cruel to a woman is
over .truly brave, and Tompkins slunk
away like a beaten spaniel, i
The next day had not passed away
before everybody In the town knew that
Hurry Junes, hud come home alive and
well to secure his much enduring, paiient
wife from u worse constraint than that of
British prison, but what they all said,
and what Harry 'said, and what Molly
felt, I must leave you to imagine, for
here the legend ends. *
A little darkey was recently found
sitting on. the.stoop of a fashionable
house crying pityful. “What's de mut
ter aid you ?” asked a colored w »ni.in.
4, De matters 'nuff—double trouble all
oberdo house. Fader am drunk—mud
der am gone wid cloze—sins broke de
lookiu'*giuß9 whl de broomstick—de baby
hub got her eyes full ob cyan pepper, und
Pete Wood put the mustard on he hair
for goose grease. X put salt In my tea for
de white sug»«r—wut mudder bus when
Professor Hunnlbul comes to see her; an
dut made me sea-sick. De dog licked
Pete’s face, und got hisraouf full «b mus
tard und lies under de bed a howliu. De
kitten got her bed in de milk pot and I
rut her lied oil to save de pitehur, and
den 1 had to breake de piichur to gel de
head out, amide way i’ll get licked when
inudder cams hum, for uelllu' do bed
utlre, will be u Bin.”
Unbleached domestics—Negro ser
vants.
VOL. ST.—NO. 5.
I'oo'i Sonjf of *• Tho Italia.**
The following fpchlerifc Was related by
a member of Hie Baltimore bar. who at
the tiine of its occurrence was but recent
ly admitted to practice. The truth of
the stutvmont may be depended on , and
even the Conversation introduced I Rive,
I think,.nearly word for word as reported
to me.
At the period referred to there were
several single storied houses on the east
side of Ht. Paul street, between Lexing
ton and Saratoga streets each of which
contained about two rooms. They were
raiher massive—according to present
Ulcus—constructed of brick, but have
been for u long time displaced by tall and
stately buildings. One of these single
storied bouses was occupied .by my
informant. The front apartment was
used os a Jaw office, the rear us a sleeping
room.
Oue calm and clear moonlight night
when the snow lay deep on the city
streets and . roofs, Mr, was making
preparations to retire, to bed. when his
front door bell was rung. Ho amused
his negro servant’hoy, who was nodoiug
on his stool hy the chimney corner, and
sent him to open the door to his lute vis
itor.
The boy almost immediately returned
alone. He said nobody was at the door;
but that a gentleman was standing in
(he snow In the middle ol the street, talk*
ing to himself and tossing Ids arms
about.
. Mr. now went to the front door
himself.' When, he opened it he found
one who was evidently u gentlemen—he
•could see that Im* moonlight—standing on
the pavement facing him. ‘
• .‘Yea, sir,’ was the reply, ‘I owe you
an apology for disturbing you at an hour
so unreasonable. But the luet is, some
thoughts have come into iny mind which
1 wish to commit to paper, and seeing a
light in your buck window (the house
sited < u the corner of an alley,) and
considering it * mutter of course that a
lawyer’s office is supplied with stationary
I look the liberty of ringing .your
bell.’
‘You are very welcome,’ said the law
yer. ‘Walk ic sir.’
The stranger followed him into the
Inner apartment, wherea-brigbt coal fI
was burning in the grate. The manner
of his guest was so irn))resMve of Intellect
that Mr. offeied a bed; but
the visitor only asked the use of a chair,
table, and wrhing materials. So the ne
uro boy lay down upon his pullet on the
Hour, aud the young lawyer retired 10 his
bed, leaving the stranger bending ov.er
Che table.
When Mr. — : —awakened in the morn
ing his strange visitor wus Billing in a
chair, with his head upon the table,
asleep. The motion made by the young
lawyer on awakening aroused the stran
ger. The latter seemed at once to be
wide awake.. He arose Irom his seat.,
thanked bja host for bis hospitality, and’
gracefully apologized for bis intrusion or
the previous night. He was then übou
to leave the room.
* You are forgetting your manuscript,’
savs the young lawyer, pointing to some
pieces of paper on the table.
T have a copy of what I have compos
ed,! said tlie stranger, *and leave the ori
ginal with you us some acknowledgement
of your kindness under circumstances so
trying.’
The stranger left. The lawyer did not
know until a 10ng... tithe afterward, when
the “ Rung of the Bells’*—of which he
still has tin* original—had-been published
and become famous, that his singular
visitor was Edgar A. Poe.
Napoleon mul his Professed Mission.
.If the alleged plot for the assassination
of Louis Napoleon is not, as supposed by
some, a mere invention of the Govern*
meut for political effect, it is the fourth
attempt of the kind which has been made
upon his life. The iirstofthese occurred
iu 1853, when, as Prince President, he
was passing through Marseilles on a
triumphal journey. .Ah infernal machine
was constructed, consisting of a hundred
or more musket barrels placed iu a room
upon the ground floor of a house, so as to
sweep tiie street with certain death to all
before iu It was design'd that these
guns should be discharged simultaneous
ly by a fuse us sooti as the President with
his cortege, was in frhn tof them. Ifthe
plan hail been accomplished the carnage
iii the crowded si reels of the city on a fete
day, must have been 'terrific; imt.it is
one ot the most amiable characteristics
•>f Mich conspirators to consider it better
that ninety innocent persons than that
one whom they considered guilty should
escape. Fortunately, ttie plan was dis
covered by tne vigilance 6t Lite police, on
i he day before the President passed he loro
that, window.
The second attempt was made upoi
the Emperor’s return to France from his
visit to England in 1865. On the 28th of
April a mall- 1 -named Pianori, who.does
not seem to have had accomplices, ap*
prouched very near the Emperor while
he was ridigg on horseback in the envi*
rolls of. Paris, the Empress accompanying
him in a carriage. The assassin fired
twice at his intended victim with a re
, volver,. one“liot grazing the EmpcrorV
hut. The criminal was instantly seized
and afterwards executed. The Senate, ’n
u body, called upon the Emperor wiih.
their congratulations for his escape, in
Ins reply he sain : “Bo long us I shall
not have accomplished my mission, 1
incur no danger.”
.The‘third attempt was* mode by the
Italian revolutionist Orstni.and his ac
complices, who, ms, the Emperor and
Empress, on the 14th of January, 1858,
were approaching the opera iu their car
riage, a deasecrowd being around, threw
uinier the carriage several bombs of ter*
ritio powder. A large numherwere kill
ed and more wounded by the explosion,
but (he Emperor and Empress escaped
entirely unharmed. Here again was
displayed the recklessness of innocent
life peculiar to these extremists in their
plots, us well as the tangling execution
which kills its friends and Jets its ene
mies escape.
In view of these and the result of the
latent attempt at bis assassination* the
Emperor, It is presumed, still considers
his “ mission’-' unfilled. He appears
however, In his measures for establishing
parliamentary governments and perpet
uating bis dynasty, to tecognize the ap
proach of the Inevitable end, but with
the determination to be “master of tbe
situation” to the full extent of the bu
man capacity to tbe lust moment of his
o.vu “ recorded timei”
One’s AfoTirEU.—Around the idea of
one's mother the mind <>f man clings with
fond affection. itis the first dear thought
stamped upon our infant hearts, wdwi
yet sou and capable of receivim: the most
profound impressions; and all the after
leelings are moie or less light In com
parison. Uur j aasiona and our willul
uesa may lead us far from tho object ol
our tidal luvo; we may become wild,
headstrong, and angry at her counsels or
opposition; but when death has stilled
her monitory voice, and nothing butcalm
memory remains to recapitulate hervlr
lues and good deeds, affection,-Jibe a
flower beaten to the ground by u rude
storm, raises up her head aud smiles amid
he.* tears. Kound that idea, ns we have
said me mind clings with loud aflectiun;
ana even when the earliest period of our
loss forces memory to be silent, fancy
takes the place of remembrance, and
twines the image of our departed parent
with a garland of graces, and beaullet-,
and n irtues, which we doubt not lhatshe
possessed.
Josu Killings says? ‘Muckeral in
huuit the ecu generally; but those which
inhabit the gioctry aiwusi lust to me us
lUuugh , they had been fatted on sail.—
They want ugieuldeaiot Ueaheijlng before
they're eaten,’and also utlt-rwunla. li I
Kill have plenty of muukeral lur break
lust, I cun generally make IUo other two
meals out of water.'
Roitcfl. for.'
AflvxnTrsrirKNTW wh inserted at Ten cent
per" Ohs lor the hral five ceca
per line for: each. BUhflCQUeiiL. Insertion. Q,uor
orly half-yearly, and yearly advertisements In-,
sorted at a liberal reduction on the above rates
Advertisements should, be accompanied by th 6(
Cash. Wnou sent without' any leifgtb of tlm
sp«clfled for publication, they will be continued
until ordered cuorgedaccdrdingly.
JOB PRINTING,
CARDS, ftANDDinns, CmcunAns, and every oth
er description of. Jon Card Printing.
<Scms of itltcratilte.
1.1TT1.8 MISCUIEIV
Who dally toddles all nbont,
Turps topsy-turvy. Inside out, ;
All movables the hbaso throughout?'
Mischief.
Who in tiie saucepan dropped Ills slide,
Tncn laughed Co see cook Biddy slow?
You iittlo rogue, wo know ’twos you*-. '
Mischief.
Who cnnght poor pussy will> a noose? .
Who broke tho eggs of sitting goose? .
Who was it tnrncd old Billy loose?
• . *, Mischief.
Who was It lot the chickens out
Upon the garden Just laid out,
Then cheered the *• scratchors” with a shout ?
. •. Mischief
Who nips ma's “ posies’* In tho bad ?.
Who blacks bU shoes with yellow mud?
Who made the bath-room all ono flood ?
Mischief.
Who Is It, to explore tho well,
Oneo sounded It with dinner bell?
How many more things, who can tell?
MlsoWcf.
Who now lies sleeping on the floor, ,
Wuh cherry Ups uiid pinafore ■
Aud face besmeared with cherry gore ?
, . . AUsohlef.
When women come to sit in the jury
box, possibly infants may get to be criers
in courts;
After a wedding it was formerly a
custom to drink honey, dissolved in wa
ter, for twenty days—a moon’s age.—
Hence the oilgiu of honeymoon.
A reporter dressed himself in wo
man’s clothing and reported Mrs. Stan-
ton's New York lecture for ‘women
only.’
A gentleman who has been struck by
u young lady’s beauty has determined to
folh w the injunction aud ‘kiss the rod
tl at sipotedum.’
Last week fhnny W. Barber was mar
ried to Miss Hannah D. Beard. It is
presumed that the parties will be blessed
illi Jots of It trie ‘shavers.’
A yoiCEcomes from Washington Ter
ritory saying, ‘send us wives I’ And a
thousand unhappy benedicts respond.—
Take ours I'
‘No man can do anything against his
will,’ Bilid a metaphysician to un frish
tnan, ‘By jabbers!’ said, Pat, ‘I had a
brother that went to jail, and I kuesv It
was greatly against tits will.’ •
George, do you Know Mr. Jones has
found a beautiful baby, on his door step
and Is going to adopt him ! r ‘Yes, papt
bo will be Mr. Jones’ step son won't he ?’
A tipsy sailor spent some time in ex
amining a cane-bottomed chair, aud then
said: ‘Lung my buttons, but it was a
cote fel’ow that twisted that cane around
ulhthem little holes.’
A clergyman, consoling a young
widow on the death of her husband, re
marked that she could not iind another
his equal. ‘I don’t know about that,’
remarked the sobbing fair one; ‘but I'll
try.’
‘Sam,* said one little urchin to another,
‘does your schoolmaster.ever give you
any rewards of merit?’ *1 s’pose he
does,’ was the rejoindw; ‘he gives me a
lickin’ every day, and says I merits two.’
A gentleman from the ‘rooral dees
trick* lately went into one of our fash
ionable restaurants and.asked for dinner.
The waller banded him the bill of fare,
when be ‘reckoned he'd rather eat be
fore reading.’
The following is an exact copy of a
sign over a ‘Refreshing saloon’ in Al
bany :
lemon
Aid And
1 Ard oil.
Pittsburgh has a pious did lady un
der arrest for stealing a largo Illustrated
blble. She said her’s was too flue print,
and sue couldn't get any consolation out
of it.
Baid a youngster in high glee, display
ing his purchase to a bosom friend on
the sidewalk, —
‘Two coeuaiiuts for ten cents! that wi 11
maMpme sick to-morrow, aud 1 won’t
have to go tb school.'
. Two men in Cheyenne got to shooting
at each other, aud the local paper .says
of one of them ; ‘His soul instuulaneous.-
ly dropped its humanity.' It is mean
lor a paper tp break right off so iu an in
teresting story. We want to know if be
died.
The lady principal of a school, in her
advertisement, mentioned her lady assis
tant, and the reputation which she bears;
but the printer left out tbe word ‘which,’
so the advertisement went forth com
mending.the lady’s 'reputation for teach
ing she bears.'
North Carolina has another pair of
‘Siamese Twins.’ These, are colored
boys, joined together after the manner
of Eng and Chang. They were born |n
C< iumbus county, are in good health,
and are intelligent. They are about 18
years old.
. ‘No man,’says Mrs. Partington, ‘was
better calculated to judge of pork than
my poor husband was. He knew what
g..od hogs were, for he had been brought
up with them from his childhood.'
A wao, rending In one of Brigham
Young’s manifestoes that ‘the great re
sources of. Utah are her women,’ exclaim
ed : ‘Jt is v«'ry evident that the Prophet
is disposed to husband his resources.'
‘Barber,’ said a farmer to bis tonswre
‘now cmu’s cheap, you ought to shave
for half price.' Can't Mr. Jones,' said
Hie man of razors. *1 ought really to
charge more, for when corn’s down, far
mers make such long faces that I have
twice the ground to go over.’
There’s a moral taught by the follow
ing conversation, which needs to be
learned by many father’s. Baid a Utile
lour year old.: ‘Mother, father wont be
in heaven with us, will he?’ ‘Why my
child Y' ‘Because he can’t leave the
store.’
A citizen who has been improving
his residence, says he ‘has erected a
double-barreled pizuriuctum in front of
It.' He ought to add a ‘mirunda’ and a
•revenue’so he can sit pn the ‘tnlranda'
and see his little ‘ancestors’ playing on
the ‘revenue.'
A few days since a little ragged urchin
was sent by a tradesman to collect a
small bill. He begun in his usual way,
becoming mure and more importunate,
ul length the gentleman’s patieuce beiug
exhausted, be suld-to him :
‘You need not dun the so, sharply; 1
am not going to run away,’
1 don’t suppose you are,' said tho boy
scratching bis head ; .‘but my master Is,
and ho wauls the money.'
O! you say you are looelywlthout me,
that you sigh for one glance of my eye;
you’re blarneying always, about me—
O! why don’t you apply ? You
men are so very deceiving,’ I can't believe
uugbt that you say ; your love 1 will
only believe in when my Jointure is made
out ol late. This trash about eyes, voice,
and glances, may do for a mi-s in her
teens ; but he who tb me makes advances
mu*t talk of his bank-stuck aud means.
You beg me logo gutivunflng, to meet
you at lout of the lane—with a kiss, tool
why, man, you’re ranting! do you think
that I uni wholly Insane? When you
woo a young lady of sense, Sir, don’t
whine about sorrow and (ears; It’s a
mailer of dollars and cents, sir; no tale
*»f romance inleiferes. O! poverty is not
at uii lunny (my style I will never con
ceal), if 1 can't get a husband with
money, O! I’ll live and diettora O’Dell.