jVmmctm Dalimicet
E
[ED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
atton icknnicio'y.
MARKET SQUARE.
Two Dollars per year If paid, strictly
'Ttwo Dollars ami Fifty Cents if paid
& months: after which Three Dollars
n xhe«e terms will bo rigidly ad
inslanoe. No subscription diu-
B nnSl all arrearages are paid, nuiess at
of the Editor.
notcooioiial
(UJIBIOU. 1 WM. a PARKER
IbICS & PARKER, .
ArrORNEYS AT la ir.
Main Stieot, In Marion Hull. Cur-
1663
E MAGLAUGHL.IN, Attob
.t Law. Office Id Building formerly
& Volunteer, a f OW doors South of Wot-
PBD STATES CLAIM
I AND ,
i ESTATE AGENCY!
jl. B. BUTLER,
I ATTORNEY at law,
i story of [oliofTs Building, No. 3 South
rstreot, Carllale, Cumberland county
3 , Bounties, Back Pay, &0., promptly
ilona by rpcUl, will receive immediate
Lrattentlon given to the selling or rent
al Estate, In town or country. In nil leU
iniry. please enclose postage .stamp.
SIW7-tf ,
[bEIiTZHOOV eb,
’TORRE F- A T-LA W,
I CAfUiISkU. Pa.
:e on South Hanover Street, opposite
iy goods store. ■,
HERMAN, Attorney At Law
Ice In Rhepm’s Hall Bonding, In the
,Court House, next door to the “Her
. Carlisle, Fenna.
J. SHEARER, AttorneV and
at Law, has removed his
be hitherto unoccupied room In the
b( comer of the Court House.
ENNEDY, Attorney a.t Law
irllsle, Penna. Office same as that 0/
rlcan Volunteer."
aHRYOOK, Justice of the
ce. Office No 8, Irvin’s Row, Carlisle,
ItfMy ‘
fEOHGE-8. BEARIGHT, D6n
from the BaUimure Colteye of Dental
Office ot the residence of nls mother
berStreof, three doors below Bedford
'enno.
t, 8. BENDER, Homoeopathic
(clan, OUlce No.fl, South Hanover st,,
occupied by John Lee, Eaq. •
Ml—ly.
B..HIRONS, Attorney and
COUNSELOR AT IM W,
m BTBEET, BELOW CHESTNUT,
Cor. Library.
Phii/adehphia
IKS-Iy
;RT OWENS,
iATB ROOFER.
DE ALEB IN SLATE,
LANCASTER, PA.
All Work Guaranteed.
Left at this Office will receive
lllenllon. October It. 1800—ly.
ftats anD (Cans
Bfl SUMMER ABBI VAX,
OP ALL THE
iv JSW STYLES
OF
; T8 AND CAPS.
/briber has just opened at No. 15 North
IStk/, a few doors North of the Carlisle
F)i one;of the largest and best Stocks
11MUA.PQ in CAwltal*. <<a
different colors, and every desorlp
j/lHata now mode.
Imkard and Old Fashioned' Brush, con*
la band and made to order, all warrant
\ satisfaction.
A, fall assortment of
’B,
, BOY’S, AND ■ . • • ,
■'
HATS.
jadded to my Stock, notions of dllTor
,Consisting of
AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS,
. ■ Suspenders,
an, Gloves,
Pencils, Thread,
Sewing Silk, Umbrellas, <£ro
E SEQAEB AND TOBACCO .
ALWAYS ON HAND,
e a call, and examine my stock as I feel
lof pleasing all, besides saving you rao-
JOHN A. KELLER, Agent,
No. ISNorth Hanover Street,
B AND CAPS I
Ott WANT A NICE HAT OB CAP ?
If bo. Don’t Pail to call on
J. G. 0 A L L I O ,
f0. ,29.- WE37 MAIN STRhET,
an be Been the finest assortment of
'ATS AND CAPS
to ,9 irllslo * He takes great pleas*
ia friends and customers,
*£ kis splendid stock Just re
rora New York and Philadelphia, con
a part of flue
IwK AND OASSIMBRE HATS,
an endless variety of Hats and Caps o
st style, all ol which he will sell at th
bM Prices. Also, his own manufaotur
always on hand, and • *
ta MANUFACTURED TO ORDER.
Mae best arrangement for coloring Hats
Finds of Woolen Goods, Overcoats, <feo., at
[test notice (os ho colors every week) and
tost reasonable terms. Also, a lino lot ol
•amis of
OBACCO. AND CIGARS
mhand. He desires to callthoattcnti*
’who have
COCNTRYPURS
1 pays the highest cash prices for J \u
® call, at the above number, his ild
reels confident of giving entire sa. is*
Boots anu Stioes.
‘D STROHM,
% D- SPONSLER,
JOHN W. STROHM
iW AND POPULAR
i SHOE, TRUNK- AND Ha 1
STOKE.' ‘ -•
U. SOUTH HANOVER STREET.
i-.__ n Carlisle, Penn'a.
U?S«U» of iniiofl's building,
r justopenedUae iargeatandbeatstoc!
boots and shoes
irawii? Carlisle, And continue almas
inu l fu, BUcll 6°o<ls In our line as every
••of’ " ar ftocii consists in all klnds,and
Childrens’ strong Leatbex
' Worn^M 1 , 8808 and Childrens” Lasting
S?ns® G i ove Kid. Turkey and French
fejt? ll ® , a “d Boys’ Calf, Buff and Kid
ilpn 0 > hoys’ Cull and Buff Congress
j.Up®, ai) d Boys Lusting Halters and
ito Sf* d Boys* Calf and Buff Oxford
i WnrS o^.lB * ousklns aud Overshoes:
to? Welt and Carpet Sllp
(t»T• Bo y® and Childrens' Fur uod Sax-
Uche?s§ lze ® and prices; Traveling
KJdi bki D S Valises, together wild a Ant
Shai cS? We wlll selltosuitthe limes.
StSnS* AWI>„M ALLS PHOrITS ’
iDorefore, in issuing our card, It
ay n T* a personal invitation to all In
ttad*»«T.ii through our stock without
to buy unless suited in
wr ntift ?* •■'Ve shall always try to deal
Urfipu 10 ° straight forward manner,
Wa fi« OUBt * ~ m er uTull oqul volant xorhls
ilDnnL°^ e hN will avoir themselves ol
‘opportunity to call and see ns.
&TROUM <* SFO.NBLER.
bURNEIt,
MERCHANT TAILOR,
near Rheom'a Hall, Car
lL reinrued from tU« Hasten
toMD&'iK 6 * l nnd moat
AHWOUTMKNT OP
]go and winter goods,
oassiuehes.
~.olihi« „ . VB-TINQS,
k uj 1 5* Goods, Ac. ever brought
comprise ,
f “4NoH.a n a
ae- t . a «BHIOAN MANUPAOTUKES,
fJraer h?il re A nd of all BhadeH.
’ r loaco iJ 8 o practical outtov oj
P r «uiuLiinJ?. reparwlu> warrant porfecl
JoodittjVi la * 01 or acre.
H Di..° y Ul »yftrd.or oat to order. Don't
! ' Aa g.sa, IMO.
'I . •
BY BRATTON &KENPDY.
itttrtn'eal.
Robnck’b Stomach Hitters,
II UK'S
unlike nil other Bitters iu the
market, possess Intrinsic mor*
it. Most Bitters, fip-eallcd. are
morel;
as a beverage. Dr. Iloback’s Bitters arc not tx
beverage In any sense of the word, but contain
the most exflenslvo drugs known to science for
ho rudlcili care of. Indl
Igcslioti and Dyspepsia,
and for all cases where
a tonic and stimulant
are required.. They re-
store the vital forces. In
a remarkable degree,
and give tone to the
system. It Is now elov
en join since Dr, Ro-
BITTERS
back, the celebrate
Iwedlsh physician
[from Stockholm, Swe-
Jden, came to this oouu-
try ancflntroduccd the Scandinavian Blood Pu-
rifle/; since which tlmo thousands havojbeeh'
" ‘‘Cl
cured, by its use, of Scrofula and other 1 l))ooi
diseases. 1 It'contalns, besides the lodide of Po-
tassa, and Syrup oi lmported
from Sweden ior its express manufacture, un-
known and notkont by
apotheca'rles in thll
country. A single trial
will convince the most
skeptical of Its wonder-
ul value.
Dr. Robaok’s Blood
Pills are- unsurpassed
PURIFIER
by any Pill raauufao-
lured for a similar pur-
pose.. One trial Invarl-
Jably establishes them
as favorites with ttll who use them.
The reasons why Dr. Roback’s Blood Phis
should bo kept in every family are: Because they
can be employed In Till cases where a “family
physic” Is required, and are perfectlv safe In
their administration al
all times; Because they
are made with and with
out-sugar-coatln, thus
adapting them to the
use of everybody; Be-
cause they can be pur-
jebased at any drug
PULS
store at the extremely
low p r 1 c e o f tw o n ty
mve cents per box.
'uguiHta and Dealers
werywhere.
For sate by Dr
in Patent Medicines e
•XT U ar 1| Jv.
CITIZENS OF CUMBERLAND
COUNTY.
•We have now on hand and Just received from
the cities, and from manufacturers, the largest
stock of new, cheap, and good goods to bo found
in any two stores in the valley.
■■ \Vb hiave the beat oasortlnent of
C-fiOTHS; OASSIMERS, SATINETTS,
FLANNELS, TICKINGS,
GINGHAMS, PRINTS,
MUSLINSr
DEESSGOODS,
DeluluoK, Alpaca?,
Silks, Merinoes, Repps,
Coburgs, Plaids and Stripes.
RIBBONS, HOSIERY, GLOVES,
Zephyrs,
Towels,
Yarns,
Linen and Cotton Table Diapers,
CLOAKINGS, low prices and flue
HANDKERCHIEFS, COLLARS and CUFFS.
Trimmings and more notions than
can be found anywhere under one roof.
FURS AND CARPETS,
Oil Clotbs, Druggets, Blinds, Coverlets, Quilts,
Hoop and Balmoral Skirts,
SHAWLS,
of every description. In fact a splendid assort
ment of goods, and more given for the dollar,
than anywhere else;
' . WO O li,
at the highest price taken In exchange. Give ua
a call
Oct. 28. 1860.
p ROCERIEB, &c.
The subscriber begs leave to Inform the oltl
zoasof Carlisle and vicinity that hQ has pur
chased the Grocery Store of D. V. Keeny, No. .8
South Hanover Street. Carlisle, where he will
carry on the Grocery Business as usual. His as
sortment is varied, and consists In part of ,
QUEENSWARE,
GLASSWARE,
STONE eXjithen ware,
CEDAR arid
WILLOW WARE
TEAS,
COFFEES,
SYRUPS,
SPICES,
FANCY SOAPS,
ROPES,
TOBACCO,
FISH.
OILS.
HALTERS.
SEGARd,
4 SALT,
POTATOES,
DRIED AND GA>NNED FRUIT,
CORN MEAL. BUCKWHEAT, FLOUR, PEED,
and a full assortment of articles usually kept in
a flrat-clasa Grocery store. Give him a coll, and
satisfaction will be guaranteed. M
Oct. 10,1800. JOHN HECKMAN.
QHEAP COAL! CHEAP. COAL I !
The subscriber Is prepared to deliver, by the
oar load, to Llraeburners and other consumers
along the line of the Cumberland Valley Rail
road, the celebrated , *
IIICROItV SWAMP COIL!
at the
LOWEST POSSIBLE RATES FOR CASH!
This Coal Is of very superior quality, and will
bo furntehed at prices which will defy all compe
llThe*subscriber will deliver Coni at Carlisle,
during the current month, at the following
prices per ton of 2,000 lbs.:
PEA,
NUT,
STOVE..
EGoi
And to olber points of the road, ho will deliver
It, adding or deducting the expense In freights.
The above rates will bo subject to the rise or
fall of prices, each month at the mines.
v GEORGE ZINN,
Oflico cor. Main and Pitt Sts., Carlisle, Pa.
Deo. 23,1800.
1 A' AAA Agents wonted for the Priest
IU.UUU nmlNun. This most codling and
Interesting book; by n popular authoress, Is now
ready, unu thcHa-wbo wish lo canvass for It
should apply Immed lately for circular, (with
stamp enclosed,) stating territory desired, expe
rience. Ac. Agents wonted everywhere for this
and other flrat-cl<iss boohs and engravings, by
OIUTTE.nDEH A MoKINhEY, 1808 Chestnut St.,
Philadelphia, Pa,
Got. SU,IMO-Sm 1
- verq~'a
How seldom wo dream of the mariners’ graves,
Far down by the coral strand I
How little wo think of the winds and the waves,
\\ hen all wo love are on land 1
The hurricane comes and the hurricane goes,
And little the heed we take;
Though the trees may snap ns the tempest blows,
And the walls of our homestead shake.
But the northeast gale tells a dUferout tale,
With a voice of fearful sound •
When a loved one is under aclose reef’d sail,
On the deck ofan " outward bound.*’
wlshlwnsh;
sttKf. sold
STOMACH
How wistfully then we look on the night,
As the threatening clouds go by;
As the wind gets up and the last faint light
Ik dying away in the sky I
How we listen and gaze with a silent Up,
And Judge by the bending tree.
How the same wild gust must loss the ship,
And arouse the mighty seal
Ah ! sadly then do wo meet the day,
VTUcii Ilia Stella Vt IVIU lUUIIU { '
And pray for the loved one far away,
On the deck of an V outward bound.”
There is one that I cherished hand in hand—
- We roved o’er lowland and lea;
And I thought my love for that one on the land
Was as earnest ns Jove could be.
■But now that 010 has gone out on,the tide.
I find that I worship the more;
And I think of the waters deep and wide.
As I bosk ’raid the flowers on shore.
I have watched the wind, and I have watched
the stais,
And shrunk from the tempeit'stfhhd;
For my heart stringsnro wreathed with the slen
der spars
Thkt carry the “ outward bound.”
BLOOD
I have slept when the zephyr forgot to creep,
And the sky was without h frown ;
Bat I started from that fitful sleep,
With the dream of a ship going dnwu,.
I have sat in the field when the corn was ha
shock,
-And the reaper’s hook was bright,
But my fancy conjured the breaker ami rock,
In the dead of the moonless n)ight.
• Oh I I never will measure affection again,
While treading earth’s flowery moui-d,
But watt till the loved one is far on the main,
On the deck of an “ ouitvnrd bound.” .>. •
ethrtitattous.
fDE SrOKT OF DON JUAN...
When the orange anil the citron groves
of the Alcazar were in their ripest glory,
and the gilded palace of the Moors yet
wore the freshness that bad made It
splendid In the days of its first masters,
there lived a certam hidalgo, whose en-
BLOOD
trance to the Pltza de Terms was the
signal fora hum and a whisper among
the multitude that filled the bloody are
na ; whose presence at vespers in the
dusky aisles of the great'cathedra) boded
ill to some ’fair worshipper within the
solemn fane: a man from the touch of
whose infidel fingers the priest withdrew
his holy water brush as from contact with
the foul fiend himself; a man behind
whose steps followed ever the smothered
anathema of the pious and weak.
This man was Juan Tenerio, one of the
twenty-four,the best hated and the most
feared among the inhabitants of Seville.
Handsome, proud, brave—with a desper
ate, brutal courage—false, and cruel, he
-for'li'W®!',A"toll lhe§B
qualities had, been hereditary since the
Mohemetau was driven out of Spain.
Don Juan’s wealth was even greater
than Ilia rank. He was master of many
a square mile of vineyard between Se
ville and Ca*Mz, and owuA of a delicious
Oriental villa on the banks of the Gaud
alquiver; built in the true Moorish style,
with airy barburlc.colonades, and pierced
pavements of colored marble, through
which a hundred jets of limped water
rose to cool the sultry southern atmos
phere and a quadrangle where a fountain
played all day and night amidst a wealth
of exotic bl'W'ms, beneath the shade of
a wide silken awning. Here, in the idle
summer noontide, the noble Sevillian
loved to bask, and here, beneath the ten
der light of tile southern moon, was held
revels of which all good citizens spoke
with a shudder. Dancing girls and mat
adors had told strange stories of banquets
given in those marble-paved chambers,
banquets at which Lucifer himself might
have taken the chair; of dances perform
ed in that Moorish quadrangle which
mighthavedelighted tnePrince ot Dark
ness and his chosen courtiers: of deeds
scarcely less terrible than Ihoso by which
Pedro the Cruel bad given to the Alcazar
a hideous renown. Don Juan Tenono
had elevated vice into a. kind of poetry;
and refined .sin into science. Prom his
very .boyhood his name had been a terror
to husbands, father- and brothers; but
of late the good people of Seville had
crossed themselves as they spoke of him,
as when they pronounced the name or
the fiend. His latest crime had surpassed
his former villianies; for on this last oc
casion he had added murder to betrayal.
Amongst those weak enough or bold
enough to countenance this man, in spite
of his villainous repute, was the Com
mander Gonzalo de Ulloa, with whose
young and beautiful daughter Don Juau
Tenorio professed himself eager to form
a matrimonial alliance. The Commander
was influenced by the rank and wealth
of the suitor. The terms of the contract
were arranged, and the contracting par
ties were allowed to meet in the most
ceremonious manner on certain .rare t oo
casions—the prorated .bride attended by
her duenna and supported by her proud
old father. , .. .
Whether Juan entered upon this en
gagement in good faith at first is known
only to himself. Certain it is that, after
a short-courtship, the idea of matrimonial
bondage in the future, and the wearisome
attendance of father and duenna. In the
nresent, became alike obnoxious to lilw.
The habit of evh-doing had grown with
bin growth and strengthened with his
strength. He was practiced ip the cor
ruption of duennas, and versed in all de
lusive arts for the conquest of a weak,
inexperienced girl, andfthe end iu this
case came but too soon* One morning
the gossips of Seville werestartled by the
tidings of Donna Octavia’s elopement
with Don Juan; and before nightfall a
great terror ctme upon the city with the
knowledge that the Commander Don
Gonzalo de UHoa had been found stabbed
through tl\e heart on a lonely road twen
ty mlles'from the gates. ,
He had dl covered his daughter's dis
appearance • within-tm i.bour after the
wretched girl's flight; extorted some
half confession from the unwilling duen
na, and bad followed the fugitives, at
tended'by oi.e servant, who saw his
master overtake a traveling carriage, In
which were a lady and gentleman, both
masked. The Commander had dragged
the gentleman fr.ro the carriage, end a
sharp encounter had followed on the spot,
with fatal result to Don Gonzalo, the lady
shrieking piteously all the while. The
gentleman had not one*' removed Ills
innate, and had sprung into the carnage
directly after hla opponent’s fall, crying
to bia postillions to drive like a thouaaud
devils. , .
The servant was on inexperienced rus
tle. who had but a few weeks In the
service of the Commander, and he was
unable to identify the masked traveler.
Though he bad u kind of Idea that It was
no other than Don Juan Tenorio, wbo
had graciously sworn at him more than
once for a base-born dog, on the occasion
of his visits to Don Gonzalo. ’
The Commander’s family were furious
against the libertine scarcely knowing
whether to hale him most as the seducer
of their kinswoman or as the murderer of
their kinsman. Shame was new to their
house, and was so much the more biller
to bear. They urged their wrongs In the
ears of legal > authority, and demanded
that the seducer and assassin should be
BENTZ A <?0.
.83 16
. 4 65
. 5 65
. 665
IWftoL
* “OUTWARD HOUND.’
BY ELIZA COOK.
CARLISLE, PA., TIttiBSDAY. JANUARY 20, 1870
brought before the tribunal of Justice;
but as the duenna bad contrived to disap
pear from Seville during the confusion
that followed her emp oyer’s death, there
was no evidence against Don Juan Ten
orio. And besides this difficulty, there
was another In the fact that Don Juan
was not to be found. It was reported
that he and hie frail companion hud em
barked at Cadiz on a vessel bound for. tbo
Eost.
Don Gonzalo’s remains were brought
>to Seville aud interred with much solem
nity in the church of the Franciscan
monnstery, where the house of Ulloa pos
sessed a mortuary chapel, and of which
order the only son of the late Commander
was a superior; and alter affordinggossip
and excitement for all Seville, the mon
strous scandal gradually died away, and,
if not forgotten, at least ceased to be a
common subject of conversation.
But ther • was one glooiny mind from
which no time could efface the iniquities;
there was one chief member of the holy
order of St.-Francis, from whoso thoughts
the fatal image of the murderer and se
ducer was only banished during the an-
Brome service of the altar, and scarcely
unisnea men. . J
Father Onofrlo of th* fTnijr sepulchre,
whose name in kheworld hud been Paez
de Ulloa, cherished the memory of his
father’* murder and his sister’s disgrace
as other men cherish the image of I> st
love, or wasted wealth, or long departed
happiness. By day and.night bis prayer
arose to Heaven, imploring justice from
Him who claims the divine right to
avenge ail earthly wrongs.
‘Ttdu hast said, Vengeance la mine/ f
cried.the monk.. ‘Surely Thou ,wilt not
suffer tbta "libertine to go .unpunished’
And if Thou needelb an earthly instru
ment, behold Thy servant la ready.*
Months grew into years, and it seemed
ns If the brother's pleadings were unbeard
by the supreme tribunal. A marble ef
figy of the murdered commander was
executed lor the mortuary chapel In.the
church of the Franciscans, a noble image
of. the dead, * in bis habit as be lived/
erect, and sword in hand, as If standing
guardian, over the vault below, awfully
life like in the obscurity of that solemn
shrine.
Three years bad passed since Donna
Octavia’s flight, and iu all that time this
Moorish.villa,on the Gaudalquiver hud
been deserted by lis master. Suddenly
hs he had disappeared, Don Juan Tenorio
came back to his native city, and again
tils numo won a terror In all vlrtuouo
households/
. He reappeared with a bold and daunt
less front, expressed himself profoundly
grieved to bear of Don Goi zulo’s death
and bis daughter’s elopement,, declared
that he bad quarreled with and parted,
from the damsel on the very day before
h*r flight, having reason to suspect her
of a low intrigue with one of the mata
dors of the circus, and had left Seville
quietly, alone, immediately after the
quarrel, and since which departure he
had been travelling iu the Holy Land.
The story was rendered somewhat
plausible by the fact that a celebrated
matador had. disappeared from Seville
about the time of Donna potavlu’s flight;
but the Sevillians were not the less con
vinced of Juan Tenorio’s guilt, and re
garded him with a gloomy interest as he
stalked among them at bull-fight or fes
tival, shunned, yet admired, splendid
and lonely*
Unhappily the very fuctof hlsevil repu
tation hud rendered him an object of. in
terest In the eyes of f< dish women ; and
from the hour of his return he grew
bolder and more successful In crime—
The rumor of bis return and his new iu
sombre retreat
Onofrio declared that the hour had come
in which the mojeaiy of Heaven must be
vindicated by an earthly champion. This
blasphemous libertine, whose career was
devastating as the progress of some drag
on of lahulous story—this hardened sin
ner, whose rank enabled him to defy the
Jaw, and whose infidelity marked the
dangers of divine wrath —had come back
to the scene of bis guilty deeds, and had
come to « xpiate them. .
•The hour lias arrived,’ said the supe
rior In solemn conference with the-holy
brotherhood, ‘wkeu the. cowardice of
venal man shrinks fiom the duiyof chas
tising the high born sinner when the
outraged'law is powerless, it is time that
the church should assert its authority.
This man is an incarnate vice, and it is
the office of the church to vanquish sin.
Juan Tenorlo must die.’
The superior spdke with a tone of con
viction that seemed inspiration. His
pale, care-worn fece brightened with an
awful radiance; as mU'ht look the averag
ing angel as he proclaims the doom of a
sinner. , . . • ,
‘There should be no scandal,’ faltered*
one of the brotherhood, ‘The—deed —
must be done secretly *
‘The. church can keep Sts secrete, and
can answer for her acts to God,’ replied
Father Onofrlo, calmly. ‘For the safety
of Seville, for the glory of Heaven, it is
expedient that man should perish U
‘And the means by which be shall die?’
nervously interrogated the Brother Idle-
Ibnzo. v ■ ■ • ,
‘Heave the means to Heaven —and to
me,' replied the superior. ‘I want to put
the question of the righteousness of this
de»d l# vote. Let those of the brother
hood who are opposed to this act of jus
tice hold up their bauds.’
There, was a solemn silence of some
minutes, during which Father Onofrlo
waited with a calm. Inflexible counte
nance* No hand was uplifted, no voice
pleaded for the abandoned libertine, Juan
Tenorlo. ’ . ■ . ,
‘Enough 1’ said the superior, ‘it is de
cided, IHximus I’ m ~ # ,
The suppers and dances at the Moorish
villa had been gayer than ever since Don
Juan’s return from his wahderlngs—un
holy festivals, to which men and women
stole between, dusk' and midnight, in.a
stealthy, secret manner. But to have
partaken of on© of these banquets was to
be a lost cieuture in the eyes of all good
men and women, and over the gates ot
that barbaric paradise might have been
writien, ‘ tVho enters here leaves honor
mid good name behind I’ ’The distant
flash of many Jumps, the fitful sound of
gay dance music, or snatches-of song
floating Beviile-ward on the still night
air, were all that respectable people knew
or sought to know of the festivities oi
Don Juan Tenorlo. But ’twas said that
morning sun beheld the cl»*se.of revels
more disuracelul than that fair orb bad
shone upon since (Jommodus and his
venal favorites greeted the god of day
with their drunken chorus of jubilee*
It was at the end of one of .these In
famous orgies, that Juan Tenorlo strolled
alone on the broad terrace-walk, from
which he looked across groves of orange
and oypre-s, myrtle and urbUtus, to the
fair winding river glorified In the morn
ing sun. The festival just ended had
wearied and disappointed the giver of the
feast. The dread hourbadcome in which
the cup of pleasure begins to pall upon
the Ups of the libertine, and in which for
the first time he asks, himself the fatal
question, ’And Is this happiness? Ts this
all? Is it to be always the same? Lovely
eyes, with the same fond, flattering looks;
soft round qrms, wreuifieq fn the same
caresses;, music and songs.as old.asllte
Itself; wines that hove lost the power to
warm tb© blood; dances whose voluptu
ous enchantments have ceased 'to en
chant; the mere dull mechanism of prof
ligacy, the dreamy coulisse of vice. ‘ls
this all that life has leit for mev’ cries
the libertine, drearily. *Ob, for some
intrigue that shall thrill every sense with
the old Are—something mysterious, aw
ful, terrible; something that shall out
step the limits of earthly bliss; andcarry
my jaded soul Into the domain of the
supernatural!. I am weary of women.
Is-there no fair fallen angel among the
ranks of tb« damned who will take pity
upon a boul us lost as her own ?'
4 A package for bis highness, Don Juan
Tenorio.’
Tim address was so sudden os to seem
like an bubw. r to that bla phemoua In
vocation. But It tamd only from a mes
senger who had appidaohed~the musing
hida’go with a stealthy foot. He hand
ed Don Juan a small packet, carefully
sealed with a black seal, bowed, an,d dis
appeared before there was time to Interro
gate him.
The packet contained a letter and a
minature. Don Juan first examined the
miniature. Ii was exquisitely painted,
and it represented a lovelier face than
Don Juan had ever seen out of his
dreams.. Dark eyes of marvelous bewil
derment, parted lips of richest crimson,
and a smile that was almost of diobollcal
beauty. * ’
The letter was brief.
iOne who had long cherished your
image, and watched your career would
fain see you alone. If you are bold
enough to venture a* meeting with a
stranger, and in place not often devoted
to such meetings as you attend, come,
two hours after midnight, to the Francis
can church, where you will be waited
for iu the chapel at the left of the high
altar.’
This was all. The writer made no al
lusion to the portrait, but could Don Juan
doubt that those plicate feminine char
acters were hers, upon whose .Image he
gfeseod wiil) new Hope ana passion.
*A,. rendezvous two hours afier mid
-1 night in a church I’ exclaimed the hidal
go. ..-‘Yes fair lalien angel, I will come,
(hough the foul fiend himself should
make a third at our meeting.. The
church of the Franciscan monastery. It
is surely there that Don Gonzalo was’
buried ; yes, I remember.’
This association was scarcely an agreea
ble one to even Don Juan, who held all
things lighter than his own pleasure;
but it nowise deterred him ri;om attend
ing the rendezvous: Ho.looked at'tfre'
miniature twenty times during the day,
wondering how it was he.had never be
held the lovely original.
There were no revel* that night at the
villa,, and at one o’clock Don Juan left
bis house, alone, and on foot. It was a
some what memorable departure, for he
was destined never again’to cross that
familiar threshold.
The monastery of the Franciscans w r as
situated in a dreary spot in thejo.utskirta
of the city. Beyond lay the open coun
try, wild and solitary. All was dark and
silenteven iu Uiecity, But beyond those
deserted streets and squares reigned an
unspeakable gloom.' . Intrigues afiect
darkness, and the unknown senorita had
chosen a moonless night for her assignu
lion
ah me lJUJuico approached the loity
walls of the monastery, he began 10 won
der bow he should gain admittance to
the church at this dead hour o( night
Did the pious Franciscans leave their
gates open for the faithful and patient
all night long ? The customs of the pi
ous were not familiar to Don Juan Teuo
rio, and he could not answer the ques
tion. . ’
4 My fallen angel has made all things
spiooth for me, no doubt,’ ho reflected,
with an insolent smile, 4 but a church is a
strange place for a past midnight rendez-.
voua; and if nothing but a church will
suit my unknown mistress, I should
have bten better pleased had she chosen
any other lane than that which hallows
the ashes of the Commander.’
He was close under the walls by this
limp. The western door of the church
stood belore him. It was ajar, aud ho
saw a taint light burning within. He
pushed the door open gently, aud enter
ed the sacred building with stealthy
stops. There was no such feeling asJear
wi'hln his mind. He was hoi even awe
stricken by the solemn, time-honored
solitude. He felt only a chill, unpleas
uut.sense of repugnance 10 the place and
fumUmfiWt
e ) such a spot aud such an hour.
•She must he of rank to render extreme
caution necessary,’ he thought, ‘Ol she
would scarcely, bring me to such a place.’
He walked slowly along the southern
aisle, looking to the right ami left. Soli
tary tapers burned dtmly before images
of the Virgin and saints. IS’o liv.ng
creature was to be seen within tin lim
its oi the solemn predicts. The c.iuti >us
footsteps ol Don Juan Teimrio sounded
loud upon the broudstr ne flags, beneath
which reposed the ashes of many patient
brothers whose feet bad paced them liv
ing. *
The chapel to the left of the high aliar
was draped in the deepest shadow. Don
Juan’s footsteps. quicKened as he drew
near that appointed spot. His heart
beat loud and fast with the old eagerness
lor triumph, aud conquest: He entered
the chapel aud stood face to face with—
Don tlonzalo de Ulloa.
.It was only the Commander’s statue,
the hobre marble efSgy of the.murdered
gentleman, that confronted Don Juan,
sword In hand, with—but that was a
trick of ligi-t nd vengeful
frown upon its lifeless brow.
4 Bt. Jugol If this should be meant for a
jest the senorita shall pay dearly for it,’
muttered Don Juan, as soon As be bad
recovered his br ath.
He turned his buck on the statue and
the mortuary chapel, and looked along
the shadowy aisles in search of the per
son who had summoned him.
At an insignificant door in the oppo
site aislo be saw a slight, black rqbeu
figure, beckoning to him with uplifted
hand. He crossed the church and fol
lowed the figure through the open door
into the grounds of the monastery.—
Here he would' fain have arrested the
course of the black-robed stranger. But
the unknown kept in advance of him
and pointed commanding
gesture.
They crossed a cypress grove, aud en
tered a small enclosure surrounded by
high walls. It was a ground which had
been used for a burial place for the broth
erhood s.nee th« vaults below the church
had been filled.
.Hero Juan Tenorio saw u group pf
monks encircling an open grave. Tlie '
scene was illuminated by torches stuck
in the newlydug earth, that make a bank
upon one side of the grave, and the pic
ture had something of the diabolic in the -
fitful glare of the torchlight.
*lf tills be jest,’ cried Don Juan, ‘lt Is
a sorry one, and the Franciscans shall
answer to the king for such an insult td
the noblest among his servants.
He grasped the loose garment of bis
unknown guide, who turned towards
him with uplifted hood, and showed him
the boyish countenance of a young no
-4lb is no jest,’ said one of the hooded
monks in a voice that was strangely
familiar to the libertine. ‘You have
been summoned hither, Don Juan
Tenorio. to expiate your many crimes.’
‘Before what tribunal ?'
•The tribunal of the Church. When a
sinner of your rank outrages Heaven aud
man, and defies the law of his country,
it is time that a superior power should
take upon itself the punishment of bis
iniquities. It is better that one man
should perish than that the souls of many
should he destroyed. You have been
the incarnate scourage of your native
city; you with an impunity
that'lso. lasting wiiness avaicst the cow
ardice of your fellow-citizens—but you
shall do evil no more. Prepare yourself
lor death, guilty brother; your grave is
ready.’
Don Juan drew his sword, but a strong
hand snatched the weapon from hi
grasp, aud flung it to the bottom of that
dismal, yawning grave. Other hands
seized him at the same instant, and
hound his arms to his sides with a rope.
Bound thus, in the midst of that circle
of solemn, black-robed figures, the siu- |
ner knew that be was doomed.
•You are allowed half an hour to pre- <
pare for death,’ said the calm voice of the i
superior. ‘Kneel, brother, and pray that <
your guilty soul may be finally purified i
la the flames of purgatory.’ «
‘I believe as much In purgatdry as I i
believe in heaven or hell,’ said Don Juan, i
•ami I have no breath to waste In pray- i
er I conclude this performance Is some «
priestly practical joke, or a strutegem tor i
[ho extortion for money. If it be the j
latter, you bad better name the price of i
‘my liberty at once. lam prepared to i
pay liberal, and I deserve to pay dearly
for my qredulity in coming hen* at the
behest of u lady who exists— ’
'Only in a picture of Joseph's Tempta
lion, by Leonard! do Vinci from which
one of our brotherhood, skilled in niinla
tore painting, copied the head of Po
tiphalr’s wife. We knew the kind of
beauty calculated to attract Don Juan
Tenorio, sui+tbe superior. ‘Once more,
wretched man, I tell yoti this is no jest,
but solemn earnest, no trick to extort
money, but a tribunal to execute sum*
mnry justice on a villain. And in or
der that you may believe this the more
easily, know that I, who within these
walls am called Father . Ouofrlo of the
Hojy Sepulchre, bore in the world from
which I, have withdrawn myself, the
name of. Paez de Ulloa, only son of the
man.you*murdered, and brother of the
woman you seduced. Now let the Dies
Irae be sung, and the sinner prepare tor
death.|
The solemn hymn was chanted, and
the funeral service was performed. Juan
Tenorio stood by, motionless as the stat
ue of tlie Commander in the mortuary
chapel. White as that marble effigy was
hVufy 6 A&rtyS
1C In scorn of death itself.
The coffin was brought forward to the i
brink of tho grave, and the victim was I
lilted ln“ the arms of four stalwart
monks, and laid living in that last habl
tation of mortality.
‘We would not indict unnecessary tor
ture even on such a criminal,* said
Father Ouofrlo. ‘A draught* has been
prepared which will shorten the pains of
death, brother Ignatius,' let the cup be
Presented to the lips ofthe condemned.*
”"A monk-advanced with a metal goblet
In his hand, knelt by the side of the cof
fln.and offered the vessel to the lips of
Don Juan. He drained it in silence.—
This being done the lid of the coffin was
adjusted, and nailed down by two other
monks, and then the funeral service pro
ceeded
The first faint streak of day glimmered
in the East as the lust shovelfull of earth
was thrown into the grave, and in that
faint morning light, the procession of
monks moved With stow and silent steps
from the burial ground. A bird begun
Itsgay enrol as they crossed the monas
tic garden, beneath the dark cypress
avenue, and the bell formalins sounded
from the gray church tower.
The disappearance of , Juan Tenorio
was the/ subject of . much won
derment tu lUO" OOtI'IJUUP - l>»( -
wffhder was speedily changed into hor
ror upon the arising of a strange rumor
as the manner of his death.
It seemed that Boh Juan had gone at
midnight to the church of the Francis
cans, and had there insulted the statue
of the commander, Don Gonzalo. And
10, horror of horrors! the statue had been
endowed with life and motion, and had
invited the insulter to mortal <combat,
which ghastly challenge being accepted,
the effigy bad Jed the way to a waste
place behind the convent garden, arid
suddenly a great ebasm In the earth was
opened, and Don Juan Tenorio was de
vonrednlltfe.
This story was vouched fer by the
monks of the Franciscan monastery, cer
tain members of that holy brotherhood
having witnessed the awful doom of the
profligate. And on such' indisputable
evidence the story of Don Juau passed
into the records of Seville, a never to-be
forgotten legend of human guilt and su
pernatural retribution.
\ II KUO IN THE HOUR OF TROVBI.E,
At about nine o’clock on Saturday
about fifty miles from Bt. Nicholas Moler
the engineers discovered that the iron
plates about midships, and in front of
the paddle-wheels, bad been strained by
the heavy seas through which she was
passing, and that lorge volumes of witer
were coming into *he hold of the vessel,
through cracks on either side, below
water-mark. • ‘
Some of the passengers were advised of
this, and gradually the passengers and
crew were overtaken" by a panic, when
there was a rush to the life-boat. It was
speedily lowered, and into it escaped the
United States Consul of this port, Mr*
Aaron Gregg, and several others. But
the lowering of this boat was so badly
managed, in the effort of every one to
save himself, that the bow of the boat
was elevated out of the water, while the
stern was submerged in the foam which
left the paddle-wheeils; but they manag
ed at last to cut Ihe rone, and so dis-en-.
tangled themselves frour the steamer.
No sooner had this life-boat -parted
from the ship than a panic overtook the
firemen and other,? who were left on
board and the when the firemen
forsook the furnace-, the oilmen, the
engineers, the stewards, the kitchen,
and the captain took leave of hi«» senses,
was perfectly hellish.
The panic-stricken crew, seeing that
the life-boat had left them, believed that
the ship was ready to part and ready to
founder, and just at this critical moment I
Mr Thomas Lewis, the second engineer,
and the only American citizen on board,
seeing evety post deserted and all hands
flying in the jaws of death, rushed upon
tlie deck, and with a voice of thu» der
and thrilling earnestness, addressed him
self to them:
‘Halloo there! where are you, who
ftdl yourselves Englishmen ! who fly
from your stations when there is a little
bitof danger, and call yourselves men,
and Englishmen? Come back here to
your places—l am ‘ not afraid ! I’ll stake
my Ilfe,*and back all I have, that I will
take this vessel into port with perfect
safety—Uyoubutdo your duty’ Then
turning to the captain, he said;
‘You captain, you’ve lost your head
and allow these cowardly fellows—these
lazy land-lubbers,' who call themselves
English, to take your senses from you.
Go up to your place on the hurricane
deck, and'order the wheelman back to
his place 1 (Turning again to the fire
men. who stood with their bags ready to
quit the ship) ‘Go back to your places,
and do yourduty, sml If we arc to die
let us die like brave men, and not as cow
ards! lam but ayoung man yet, and do
you think 1 1 am going unnessariiy to risk
my life? And I have a young wife and
a little family in Jnmacia, and do you
think I am going to leave them to want?
Not a bit of it. I mean to go back there,
and not to run away In a little emergen
cy like this.’
Then addressing,Mr. Nathan, u solici
tor, who . was buckling on a life-belt,
said: ‘Take that off, sir; not the slight
est necessity for any nonsense of that
kind. You stand by me, and everything
wi’l go well.’ And that little American
citizen, Mr. Lewis, so inspired confidence
Into the whole panic stricken crew, that
they resumed their places, and carried
the steamer successfully into the harbor
of Bt. Nicholas Mole. lam informed by
Mr. Nathan, a passenger, that bud it not
been for the courage and presence of
mlqd of this second engineer, the steam
er must have foundered, and all bands
been lost, whereas, the steamer was
safely conducted into one of the best har
bors In the world, without her cargo
having been damaged to the extent of a
single shilling. The cargo was valued ut
£12,000 The life-boat got Into port a few
hours after the steamer.— New York
World .
*
Bgk.Dr. Chalmers beautifully eaya
“The little I have seen In the world, and
known of the history of mankind, teach
es me to look upon tnelrerrora in sorrow,
not in angar. When I take the history
of one poor heart that has sinned and
suffered, and represent to myself the
struggles and temptations it passed
through—the brief pulsations of joy, the
tears of regret, Ihe feebleness of purpose*
the scorn of the world that has Hi tie
charity, the desolation of the soul’s sanc
tuary, and the threatening voices with
in, health gone, happiness gone —I would
fain leave the erring soul ol my fellow
man with him from whose hands It
ame.
VOL. 56.—N0. 82.
Tlio Russian Crown Jewels,
A correspondent who ims seen the
i Russian crown jewels says they are kept
. in tlie highest room of the palace. The
staircases are lofty, and the ascent is tedi*
• ous. Four tried and faithful servants of
the realm keep watch and ward—two
within and two without. The great Or
loif diamond turned its basilisk reflec
tion full upon me. This overtops the
Kohinoor by eight carats in weight, and
I am' satisfied the greenish lint and the',
flaw lessen it only to the groveling mind.
Big? I could hardly see it. It was the
size of a knob on a bedpost. The impe
lled crowns of both Emperor and Em
press were adorned witli noble jewels ;
the former, resembling a patriarchal mi
ter, dome shaped, and carries on its
summit a cross formed of five magnifi
cent diamonds, and supported by a very
large, uncut, spiral ruby. Eleven great
diamonds, in a foliated arch rising from
the front and back, support this ruby and
.cross, assisted by a hoop of pearls. The
baud for the brow carries twenty-eight
large brilliants. The orb is surmounted
by a great sapphire,greenish and blue.
an\i a nugu ana very long diamond! Tim
coronet of the Empress Is . a beautiful
mass of exquisite gems. Apart from
those above mentioned, and a lot of great
emeralds the. collection is not so strik
ing as that of Saxony. This may be
traced to the fact that much of It still re- ft
tains its old silver setting, not .calculated ■
for the most advautageous'display. It is
kept-eovered up with old linen cloths. ,
Experiment with *~Sunflow bus.
A good story is told of au amateur agri
culturist, living hot a thousand miles
from Berkshire county, Massachusetts,
who was advised by one of his neighbors
to plant sunflowers with his beaus, in
order to obviate.the task of poleing.' He
followed the advice. In due course of
time beans and.sunflowers came up and
waxed , strong, the beans coiling around
the sunflower stalks beautifully ; and he
congratulated hltnselfon the lact that he
hud au effectual method of ruining beaus
without being diiven to the disagreeable
necessity of toting bean-poles from the
forest. But, alas for human expectations,
his beaus weie raised out ol the soil,
roots and all, by the aid of the new fash
ioned bean poles, and there they hung
withering between tfeaveu'and earth, a
melancholy testimonial to the underlain
tenure of aM earthly’ things, and a strong
blue-nosed Yankees.
fISy“A Boston exchange is responsible
for the following story:
A short time since, a man appeared at
the Boston city hail, requesting an inter
view with the chief of police.
‘What can t do for you?’ inquired the
official
‘Are you thechiof?’
•Yes.'
‘Can I speak to you privately ?’
‘Yes—speak out-’ •
‘Will no one hear us?’
‘No.’
‘Are you sure ?’
‘Yes. 1 * •
Well, then listen, *Ab I was crossing
the common lust night about twelve
o'clock, I saw a. woman approach the
pond with a baby in. her arms, looking
carefully around all the while to seo if
she was followed, and then, when right
at the edue, stopped, and—
‘Threw-the child into the frog pond,'
exclaimed the appalled ofllcer, his face
white with horn)*.
‘No,' replied the visitor—‘washed its
face!''
who is it makes my soul to gHeve, ancf
after''all doth take French leave?—My
Biddy.
Who roasts my meat into a coal? Who
breaks my nicest china bowl, and says
‘ she didn’t, on her soul?’—Mv Biddy.
Who polishes the kitchen floor, and in
a half an hour or more has it precisely as
before?—My Biddy.
Who comes and goes whene'er she
chooses, and injures whate’er she uses,
hnd now and then to work refuses?—My
Biddy.
Who shams, and bangs, and breaks
and. smashes? Who tears, and rends,
and knocks, and dashes? Who trips, and
spills, and slops, and splashes?—My Bid
dy. ,
And shall I ever cease to be in bon
dage unto such as thee? My way is dark
—I cannot see, for Biddy. I only know
my misery; I wish, thee ever o’er the
sea; I only wish that I were free—from
Biddy.
‘ JoHjt/ said one boy to another, one
day as they were strolling l)y a duck
pond, ‘do you know why a duck goes
underwater?'
‘No,’ answered his companion; ‘let mo
ask you why ?'
* For divers reasons,' said John.
‘Well, well,' said the other, ‘can you
tell why he comes up again ?’
‘No,’ replied John, somewhat curious-
ly.
‘Then, John,’ said bis companion, ‘y’ou
are caught this time. Of course the duck
comes up lor sun dry purposes ’
The most affectionate specimen of
amatory poetry that has come to our
notice during the past week is the fol
lowing:
When old Carlow sits ou Sally’s chair,
Oh I don’t 1 wish that I were there.
When her falry-llrigers pat his head,
Oh! don’t I wish ’twos mo Instead.
When Sally’s arms his neck Imprison,
Oh! don’t I wish my nock was hlit’n;
When Sally kisses Carlow's nose.
Oil I don’t 1 wish that 1 were those.
A man out West got his back up at hjs
wife, and locked her in her room. Wish
ing lo aggravate tier, he sent their son to
the room with a bone. The youth in*
uoceutly brought it, and said, “Mother,
father sent this up, and says there is a
bone to pio-;.” The gentle mother re
plied, “Take it ruck, and tell him that I
•say he Is not your father; and there's a
bone lor him to pick!”
They have a fellow living in Lafayette,
Indiana, who is humility poisouilied. —
The oilier day he asked a young lady if
he might “be allowed the privilege of
going home with her," and was indig
nantly refused; whereupon he inquired,
very humbly, if be might be “allowed to
sit on the fence aud see her go by ?"
“ Why do you not admire my daugh
ter?” said a proud mother to a geutleman.
“Because,” he replied, "I am uo juugo
of paintings." "Butsurely,” replied the
lady, not in the least disconcerted by this
rude reflection, "you never sow an angel
that was not painted !”
ffl
At/, the kitchen girls in a certain
French city recently struck for higher
wages, lees labor, and the privilege of
having the company of their beaux in
the kitchen. The mistresses grouted the
lust named demand, which so thorough
ly satisfied the girls that they resumed
duty without troubling about more pay
or lighter tasks.
AffrMr. George Smith and MissAdelfue
Strouse, two gay young inmates of the
Crawford county poor house, lately elop
ed and made a bohurun for the slate of
'matrimony. It is thought that the coun
ty will forgive them lor the rash act.
■ What makes you so grum 'Tom?'
‘Oh, I’ve had to endure a sad trial to my
feelings?' ‘Whaton earth was it? 1 ‘Why,
I hud tdlle on a pretty girl’s bonnet while
her maiwas looking on.' „
t@-A Franklin county farmer recently
lost a ho!, and concluded it had been
stolen. Two weeks later it was found
bulled beneath a straw stack, and little
the worse for wear without food or water.
Hates for 3Vsocrtisinoi.
ADVEBTZBEmzns will be inserted at Tea cent
per line for the first insertion and five cent*
porllQo for each snbsequoni insertion. Qnar
erly half-yearly, and yearly ndvoniHemei.is in
serted at a liberal redaction r>u in.* Aim., rates
Advertisements should bo accompnnlpd ny the
Cash.' When sent without any length «f time
specified for publication, they will be continue
untilordercd out and onarged according^
1 :
VAUds, HAirunruLs, Cieculabs, and every oth
er dosorjpttyn of Job and Oaiuj Printing.
JOB PRINTING.
< 3ems oi Hitemtnte.
THE 11TTEE PEOPLE.
Dear little bright-eyed Willie,
Always so full of glee,
Always so very mischievous.
The pride of our homo Is ho.
One bright summer dav wo ibund him,
Close by the garden wall.
Standing so bravo and dignified,
Beside a sunflower tall.
His tiny feet ho had covered
With the moist and cooling sand'
The sialic of the great, tall sunflower
Ho grasped with his chubby hhnd.
Wo asked our darling what pleased him
Ho replied, wi.th a face aglow,
“ Mam mo, I’m going to bo a man;
I’ve planted myself to grow,”
Brigham Young hay five thousand
pound§,ofoylves and children.
An old maid's love letter Is called a
romance of the middle-age.
A MAN too busy to take care of his
health is like a mechanic too busy to take
care of bis tools. *
- Why is a dog’s tail a great novelty?
- ,uu uueover saw ivuoime. “
Pride seldom obtains Its end; for,-aim
ing at honor and reputation, it reaps only
contempt and derision.
A paiy;n in Cincinnati advertises for
girls for cooking.” You will taketbem
raw, when you get »■<, '-tomed to them.
A sensible physiuiuu says that be
cause a man is given to Ilquo*. it is no
reason why liquor should bfe given to the
man. .. "7 . t
—What'ls the difference between a
watoli-niuker and a jailor? The one sells
watches aud the other watches sells.
Kitchen girls are now term< l “young
ladies of the lower parlor.”
WoCan is sometimes called false. To
aomeexteutlhials true uow-a-days, when
hair about the head is alluded.to.
..A delicate parcelof rags and bones—
a young lady, wrapped up in her-aelf.
The females of some Indian tribes, In
order to keep silence, fill their mouths
with water. Our women fill theirs with
tea, aud gossip more than ever.
An exchange says: ‘lt is safe to cat
oysters in the shell —if you can.’ But ‘if
you'ean,’ how can you eat them ‘in the
sheila?’
juu ic u pig earn a mtiuci w
his little five-year old boy. ‘Now-doyou
know what a pig Is, Lenny ?’ ‘Yes, sir;
a pig’s a hog’s little boy I’
Jenkins Is not going to do anything
more in conundrums; He recently asked
his wife the difference between his head
and a hogs-bead, and she said there was
none.
A blushing damsel culled at one of.
the agencies, the other day, to buy a
sewing machine. *Do you want a feller? 1
inquired the modest clerk in attendance.
The ingenious maid replied, with some
asperity. ‘No, sir, I have on©.’
An old Indy, on reading that an Ice
house had been burned, remarked, ‘La,
now, I suppose it was from spontaneous
combustion. I often noticed that the ice
In the wagons smoked.’
A Gentleman, being asked whether
he was seriously injured when a steam
boiler exploded, replied that he was so
used to being blown up by bis.wife, that
mere steam, bad no effect on him.
We saw a horse on the street the other
day so poor that the owner hud tied a
knot in his tail to keep his bodv from:
■ Bll W >^£ T a dan
dy on a spree, and a dog’s tail? The one
is a puppy on a bender, and the other is
a bender on a puppy.
A correspondent speaks of a neigh
bor who took lus eight gallon keg to a
store to have it tilled with molasses. The
store-keeper declared ho had putin ten
gallons, and demanded pay accordingly.
Our friend paid, adding ‘that he didn’t
mind the money so much os he did the
strain on the darned old keg. 1
When a young.’lady tolls you 'to take
heart,’ *>ho probably means some partic
ular heart, and if youdook Into the mat
ter discreetly, you will probably find you
may take hef's;
A mekchant, examining a hogshead
of hardware, on comparing It with the
Invoice found it all right except a ham
mar less than the invoice.. ‘Och, don't
be troubled,' said the Irish porter, ' sure
the uagur took it out to open the hogs
head with!’
Dr. Starke, the Registrar Genoral’of
Scotland, says: ‘Bachelorism is more de
structive to life than themost unwhole
some of trades, or than a residence in an
unwholesome hohse or district, where
there has never been the most distant at
tempt at sanitary improvement of any
kind.’
‘So you are going to teach school ?’
said a young lady to her old aunt 'Well,
for ray part sooner than I'd do that, I
would marry a widower with nine chil
dren. \ ‘I would prefer that myself,’ was
the quiet reply, * but whore is the wid
ower ?'
Josh Billings says: ‘ I will state for
the information of those who havn’t had
a chance tew lay in their vermin wisdom
az freely az £ bav, that one single hornet,
who leels well, will brake up a large
camp-meeting.’
A. sailor at the Brooklyn Navy Yard
explained to a curious landsman the
other day how prize money is divided.
'lt is silted through a Judder/ be said;
'What falls through goes to the officers ;
what sticks, the sailors getJ4ffc£
‘ It is a standing rule inlny church,-
said one clergyman to another,‘for the
sexton to wake up any man that he sees
asleep.’ * I think,’, returned the other,
‘that it would be better for the sexton,
whenever a man goes to sleep under your'
preaching, to wake you upl’
An ambitious young lady was .talking
very loud and fast about her favorite au
thors, when a literary genius asked her
if she liked Lamb? With a look of in
effable disgust, she answered her inter
locutor, that site cared very little about
what she ate, compared with knowledge!
‘ Wiiat harm is there in a pipe ?’ says
young Puffwell. ‘None that J know off’,'
replied his companion, ‘except that tne
smoking induces Intoxication,; intoxica
tion induces the bile; bile induces jaun
dice ; jaundice leads to dropsy f dropsy
terminates in death. Put that in -your
pipe and smoke it!'
Lucy Stone said a good thing in the
Women's Convention, in Chicago, to wit:
“Some mean cowaids say If women
vote they should fight. Now, she would
ask, who life when the soldier
is born 7 The mother is his quartermas
ter until he is capable of finding his own
rations!”
Pat, an odd Joker, and a Yankee more sly.
Once riding together, a Jlbbet passed by;
Said the Yankee to Pat. “If I don't mnjte too
free,
Give that gallows Its 'loo, and pray where
would you bef”
“Why, honey.” said ho, “ faith that’s easily
known,
Pd bo riding to town by myself alt alone.”
An lowa bride, according to a journal
of that Sta'e, “Isa merry, warm-hearted,
level-beaded, truthful little angel manu
factured expressly for the chap who got
her.”
A Lady teacher was endeavoring to
Impress upon her pupils the terrible ef
fect of tbepunisbmentofNebuohadnezzer
saying: “ Seven years he ate grass Ihe a
cow," when a boy asked, " Did he give
milk?”
“You have destroyed my peace of
mind, Betsey,” said a deqiondlug ioyer
to a truant lass. “It won’t do tou much
harm, John, for 'twas an amazing small
piece you had, any way,” was the quick
reply.