®I)C American Volunteer.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
* BY
BRATTON Sz. KENNEDY,
OFFICE—SOUTH MARKET SQUARE.
Terms Two Dollars per year If paid strictly
la advance; Two Dollars and Fifty Cents if paid
. Within three months; after which Three Dollars
will be charged. These terms will be rigidly ad
hered to In every instance. No subscription dls
: continued until all arrearages are paid, unless at
•V the option of the Editor.
13tofe»0lonal <Catos.
JOHN OORNMAN,
attorney at la iv
1 oraco In building attached to Franldm House
opposite the Court House, Carlisle, Fa.
~ Juno 4,1808.—ly
3&jf: i~IHAS. E. MAGUAUGHLXN, AttoXl
o, 1 , tmr AT LAW. Oflloe In Building forinerly
p occupied by Volunteer, a low doors South of Hon-
V' non’s Hotel.
Deo. 1,1805. /
>- TTI.E. BELTZHOOVEB, ATTORNEY
%■'' Jh , aitd Cotrnssxoß at Law, Carlisle, Fennn.
!•■.. omoo on South Hanover street, opposite Bonu a
; ’ Store. By special atmugoment with .the Patent
t Office, attends to securing Patent Bights.
Doc. 1,1865.
p HERMAN GOETZ,
A T TO It NE Y AT LA W,
NEWVILLB, PENN’A.
Patents, Pensions and other claims attended to.
May 28,1808.
JOHN E. MILLER, Attorney at
Law. Office In Hannon’s Building, opposite
mo Court Souse, Carlisle. Pa.
' . Nov. 14,1867,
JOHN LEE, Attorney at Law,
North Hanover Street, Carlisle, Po.,
i«eb. 16,1806--ly.
? TAMES A. f DUNBAR. Attorney at
fJ Law. Carlisle, Penna. Office a few doors
west of Hannon’s Hotel.
Doc. 1,1805.
MC. HERMAN, Attorney at Law.
. Office In Rheem's Hall Building, In the
rear of tho Court House, next door to tho Her
ald” Office, Carlisle, Peunft.
* Dec. 1,
J. M. WEAKLET.
VXTEAKLBY & SADLER,
I ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
NO. IS SOUTH HANOVER ST.
Doc. 10, 1807.— 1 y
WT KENNEDY, Attorney at Law
VV » Carlisle, Penna. Office same as that of
tho ‘‘American V olunteer,’ 1 South side of the Pub*
JJc Square.
Dec. 1. 1800
■JJKITED STATES CLAIM
AND
I? REAL ESTATE AGENCY!
WM. B. BUTLER,
s<' ATTORNEY AT LAW, ..
Ofllco lu 2d Story of InhofTs Building, No. SSouth
<t£i. Hanover Street, Carlisle, Cumberland county,
' Pensions, Bounties, Back Pay, promptly
s ,\v collected. . .
; vJA|ipllcatlon9 by mall, will receive immediate
attention. .. *
£s-■ Particular attention given to tho selling or rent
ing of Real Estate, in town or country. In all let
ters of Inquiry, please enclose postage stamp.
July 11,1807—tf
fAB, GEORGE 8. SEABIGHT, Den
-J;' 8 J * tIST. From the Baltimore College of Benia
■Si huroery. Office at tho residence of bis mother
East Douther Street, three doors below Bed fora
■rV- Carlisle, Penna.
U\. Dec. 1,1805.
anii <ffia¥».
JIRESH ARRIVAL
OF ALL THE
NEW SPRING STYLES
OF
HAT S AND CAPS.
The subscriber has Just opened at No, 16 North
Hanover Street, a few doors North of the Carlisle
Deposit Bank, one of the largest and beat Stocks
of HATS and CAPS ever offered In Carlisle.
Silk Hats, Casslmere of all styles and qualities,
Stiff Brlms-dllTeront colors, and every descrip
tion offioftHats now mode. „
The Dunkard and Old Fashioned Brush, con
stantly on hand and made to order, all warrant
ed to give satisfaction.
A full assortment of
STRAW HATS,
MEN’S,
BOY’S, AND
CHILDREN’S,
fancy do.
1 litvre also added to my Stock, notions of differ
ent kinds, consisting or
LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S STOCKINGS,
Neck Ilea, Suspenders,
Cellars, Gloves,
Pencils, Thread,
Sewing Silk, Umbrellas, &e.
PRIME SEGARS AND TOBACCO
ALWAYS ON HAND.
Give me a call, and examine my stock ns I feel
eoutldeut of pleasing all, besides saving you mo
ney,
JOHN A. KELLER, Agent,
No. 15North Hanover street.
Jm\o e, 1808— ir
■O’A. T S AK D CAPS.,
Caps, and a great deal more,
Kept for sale at Boas’ titore,
Wool and Fur, both coarse ana fine,
Slllc and Brush, hats In his line.
Beaver, Nntra,’ large and small,
Hats to fit and suit yoaall,
Only cull andlet him try,
Though you should notwish to buy.
Gladly ho will show you round.
Through his hats till one la found,
To suit your taste, and dt you well.
Then kindly all your neighbors toll
What hats you saw atDoas’ store,
Ho hoops at corner number four.
In Worth Hanover street Carlisle,
■Where you can hnd him. all the while,
Ready to sell to great and small,
Doctors, X/twy era. Preachers, all
Students, Merchants, Farmers too,
And please, kind friends, likewise to you.
Ho keeps constantly on band a large assort
ment ol Hats, latest styles of BUks. soft and stiff
brim. A large assortment of ladles and gents,
Trunks. Valises, travelling Bags, Leather Batch
els. and a flue lot ol ladies Collars and Baskets.
Alsu gents Furnishing Goods, such as Collars,
Bhlrls.Hose &c. , ,
An extensive and carefully selected assortment
of ladles Furs, also ladles Fur Hoods and Fur
Trimmings, and a regular line of gents, fur Caps,
Mulders and Gloves. , , ,
Also, Umbrellas, Canes and a variety of No-
for past favors, be solioltls a continu
ance of tbe same from bis numerous patrons and
klndlyinvltestbe public Ingeueral to vavor him
with acall before purchasing, feeling confident
- / of bis ability to suit all,both in quality and price.
& f . Don't forget the place, No. 4. North Hanover
street, opposite tho Carlisle Deposit Bunk.
'i-y-' . cash prices paid for shipping Furs.
’•T such os Muskrat,‘Mink, Tox, Raccoon and all
■£ ■ other fur skins. j.boab.
Oct. 8,180»—flm
iqj~ATS AND' CAPS i
ft
DO YOU WANT A NICE HAT OR CAP ?
If so, don’t Fail to CAM, on
J. G. GALLIC ,
NO. 20. WJZSJ MAIN STRLET,
'V/boie can be aeon tho finest assortment of 1
§y HATS AND CAPS
.£v* ■ over brought to Carlisle. Ho lakes great pleaa
■* n re In Inviting bis old friends and customers,
and all now ones, to Ills splendid stock Just re
celved from Now York ami Philadelphia, con-
A slating In part of fine
f BILK AND CASSIMERE HATS,
Ji besides an endless variety of Hats and Caps ol
r ' the latest style, all ol which he will sell at the
, zotveit Cash Prices. Also, his own manufacture
of Hals always on hand, and
I HATS .MANUFACTURED TO ORDER.
'■ 4"' He has the best, arrangement for coloring Hata
• jfi andallklndsof Woolen Goods,Overcoats,&c.,at
fe . the shortest notice (as he colors every week) aim
•g£ • on the most reasonable terms.
••$s •' • choice brands of
;||' TOBACCO AND CIGABB '
; always on hand. Ho desires to call the attention
•{#•'; •of persons who have
|g', COUNTRY FURS '
' 1 ; *to sell, as he pays the highest cash prices for the
U Ull Glve him a call, at the above number, his old
• stand, as he feels confident of giving entire satis*
■ s*,: faction.
- Dec. 20.1887 .
J. L. STERNER’S
S?; LIVERY AND SALE STABLE,
BETWEEN HANOVER AND BEDFORD STS..
IN BEAR, OF THE JAIL,
CARLISLE, PA.
Having fitted up tho Stable with now Carria
ges, Ac. l l am prepared to furnish first-class turn
out* at reasonable rates. Parties taken to and
from the Springs. •
April 26,1887—1 y
TT'EMAI.E MEDICINES.—Diseases of
Wir.r l} wotuoii snccessluUy cured~by applying to'
, ISABELLA MARIANNO, M. D., 225 North 12th
•* St. Philadelphia, Pa.
J.. Oct. 39, 1838.-ly*
X'riiiS:
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY.
B. E W I Jff G ,
CABINETMAKER
AND UNDERTAKER,
WEST MAIN STREET,
CARLISLE, PENN’A.
A SI’UNFDtD AS3OUTMENT OF
NEW FURNITURE
for the Holidays, comprising
Bofaa, Camp Stools, •
Lounges, Centro Tables,
Rocking Chairs, Dining Tables,
Easy Chairs, Card Tables,
Reception Chairs, Ottomons,
Bureaus, What-Nots,
Secretaries, «tc., &c.,
Parlor,
Chamber,
Dining Room,
Kitchen
. and Office
FURNITURE,
of the Latest Styles.
COTTAGE FURNITURE IN SETTS,
Splendid New Patterns.
BEDSTEADS AND MATTRESSES,
GILT FRAMES AND PICTURES,
In great variety.
Particular attention given to Funerals. Orders
from town and country attended to promptly
and on reasonable terms.
. Dec. 43, IB6o—tf
QABINBT WAREHOUSE
Tho subscriber respectfully Informs Uls fiienus
and tho public generally, that ho still continues
tho Undertaking business, and is ready to wait
upon customers either by day or by night. Ready
made Coffins kept constantly on hand, both
plain and ornamental. He has constantly on
hand Fisk's Patent Mctalic Jiurtal Case, of which
ho has been appointed the solo agent. Tills case
is fecommomled as superior to any of the kind
now In use, it being perfectly air tight.
Ho has also furnished himself with u new Rose
wood Heaksb and gentle horses, with which ho
will attend funerals In town and country, per
sonally, without extra charge. •
Among the greatest discoveries of the ago is
oy/cU's tSjtrinfj Alattrass, tho best and cheapest bed
n use, the exclusive right of which I have
a, and will be kept constantly on hand.
CABINET MAKING,
w. F. SADLER.
Carlisle, Penn’a.
In all its various brandies, carried on, and Beau
renus, Secretaries, Work-stands. Parlor Ware,
Upholstered Chairs, Sofas, Pier, Side and Centre
Tables, Dining and Breakfast Tables, Wash
stands of all kinds, French Bedsteads, high and
low posts: Jenny Bind and Cottage Bedsteads.
Chairs of all kinds, Looking Glasses,, and all
other articles usually manufactured in this Hue
of business, kept constantly on hand.
His workmen are men of experience, his ma
terial tho best, and his work made In tho latest
city stylo,and all under his own supervision. D
will bo warranted and sold low for cash.
Ho Invites all to give him a call before purchas
ing elsewhere. For the liberal patronage hero
toftro oxtondeditohlm ho feels indebted to his
numerous custoagSrs, ami assures them that no
efforts will bo spared In future to please them In
style and price. Give us a call,
Uomomyw tho place, North Hanover street,
the Deposit Baul^Corjisle.^^
l3cc. 1.1805. . *
JgILECTRIC
TELEGRAPH IN CHINA.
THE EAST INDIA TELEGRAPH COMPANY’S
r OFFICE,
NOS. 23 AND 25 NASSAU STREET,
rganlzed under special charter from tho Slate
of New York.
CAPITAL - 55.000.000.
50,000 SHARES, Sioo EACH.
Hon. ANDREW G. CURTIN, Philadelphia.
PAUL S. FORBES, of Russel & Co„ China,
FRED. BUTTERFIELD, of F. Butterfield * Co.,
Now York.
ISAAC LIVERMORE, Treasurer Michigan Cen
tral Railroad, Boston.
ALEXANDER HOLLAND, Treasurer Ameri
can Express Company, New York.
Hon, JAMES NOXuN, Syracuse, N. Y.
O. H. PALM EH, Treasurer Western Un lon Tele
graph Company, Now York.
FLETCHER WEST RAY, of Wcstray, Glhbs &
Hardcastle, New York.
NICHOLAS MICKLES, N«w York.
A. G. CURTIN. President.
N. MICKLES, Vico President.
GEORGE CON ANT, Secretary.
GEORGE ELLIS, (Cashier National Bank Com
monwealth,)Treasurer. .
Hon. A. K. McCLURE, Philadelphia, Solicitor,
The Chinese Government having (through the
Hon. Anson Burlingame) conceded to this Com
pany the privilege of connecting the great sea
ports of theEiupue by submarine electric tele
graph cable, we propose commencing operations
in China, and laying down a line of nine bundled
miles at once, between the following ports, viz:
Canton
Mucoa..
Houg-Koug
Swatow
Amoy.
Foo-Chow
Wan-Chu
Nlxigpo
Hung cneuu.
Shanghai
Total.
These ports have a foreign commerce of SIKK).-
000,000, anti an enormous domestic trade, beside
which we have the immense internal commerce
or the Empire, radiating Horn iheso points,
through it* canals and navigable rivers.
Tim cable being laid, Oils Company proposes
erecting laud hues, and establishing a speedy
and trustworthy means oi . commuuieaiiun,
which must command mere, as everywhere else,
Hie communications of the Government, of busi
ness, and of social hie, especially m China. She
has no postal system, ana her only means now of
communicating imormulion is by couriers on
land, and by steamers on walei.
Tho Western World knows that China Isa very
largo country, In the mum deusiy peopled; but
few yet realize that she coutams more than a
third of me human race, Tne latest returns
made to her central authorities for taxing pur
poses by the local magistrates make .her popula
tion Jb\)U.r Hundred and Ihurleen Millions, ana this
is more likely to bo under man over the actual
aggregate. Nearly all of these, who are over ten
years old, not only can but do read aud write.—
Her civilization is peculiar, but her literature is
, os extensive us that of Europe. China is a land
of teachers and traders; and tho latter are ex
ceedingly quick to avail themselves of every
probeicd facility for procuring cany informa
tion. It is observed in Caaiorula ti nt the Chi
nese make great use of the telegraph, though It
there transmits messages In English alone, i’o
day great numbersoi Ueetsteameis are owned by
Chinese merchants, and used uy mem exclusive
ly lor the transmission ol early intelligence. If
Uie loiegrapU wo propose, connecting all their
seaports were now in existence, it is believed
that its business would pay me oost within tho
llrst tv,o yeius of its successful operation, aud
would steadily increase therealier.
No enterprise commends Useli as in a greater
decree remunerative to capitalists, and to our
Whc’ e people, it is of a vast national importance
commercially, politically, and evangelically.
stock ot this company bus been un
auaUlledly recommended to capitalists and busi
ness men, as a desirable investment by editorial
articles lu the New Yord Herald, UYibune, World,
Uimcs, lost, Repress, Independent, and in tho
Philadelphia AortA American, Press, Ledger, in
quirer, Ago, Jiutletin and Teteuraph.
bhares or this Company, to a limited number,
may be obtained at tfou eucii.tflu payable down,
$l6 on tho Ist of November, and $25 payable In
monthly installments of fc1.60 each, commencing
December 1, XsW, on application to
Shares can bo obtained In Carlisle, Pa., by ap
plication to J. P. HASSLER, Cashier Carlisle De
posit Bonk, who is authorized to receive sub
scriptions, and can give all necessary informa
tion on the BUhiecu
Oct. J, 1868.—bm
SALE OF CARRIAGES, <6o.—We, the
undersigned, have now on band, and offer
lor sale at a bargain, a great variety of
CARRIAGES,
GERMANTOWN, and
ROCKAWAYS,
EXTENSION _
TOP PHAETONS,
CARRYALLS.
AND TOP BUGGIES.
Leather and Canvass, at all-prices. Also; a lot of
SECONU HAND CARRIAGES AND BUGGIES,
which wo offer veil/ cheap . Everything in our
line made to order
AT SHORT NOTICE^
and warranted to give satisfaction. Wo employ
In every brunch none but the bent workmen.—
Particular attention paid to
REPAIRING AND PAINTING OLD WORK.
.she r K,
Corner of Pitt St. and Church Alley Carlisle, Pa
Aug. 27, 1888,—8m
the. Emetic in ItolMtet
wrnUurc, &c-
TOWN AND COUNTRY.
NEW YORK,
DIRECTORS
OFFICERS
Population,
1,100,000
» IiO.UOO
DREXE L & CO.,
34 SOUTH THIRD STREET,
PHILADELPHIA.
siren as
fUrtucal,
BOOFLAND’S GERMAN BITTERS,
Hoofland’s German Tonic.
Prepared by Dr. C. M. Jackson,
PHILADELPHIA, PA
The Great Remedies for all Diseases
LIVER, STOMACH, OR >
DIGESTIVE ORGANR
Eobfland’s German Bitters
Is compos'd of lh« pure juices (or, as they ate medld
nnlly termed, hx .--■i ■■ j (rads) of Roots,
RerbsutiO Parks, HUH_JM~ making a prepara
tion, highly com-en |rS tmlcd, and cnUrvJy
frrr from Alcoholic mmw OiuSS admixture of any
lin<£
HOOFLAMD'S GERMAN TONIC,
Is a combination of all the Ingredients of the Bitter*,
with the purest quality ol Santa Crux Runt, Orange,
nuikimt one of tho most pleasant and agreeable
rvrni-d.'* over offered to the public.
Thimv profeiring a Medicine free from Alcoholic ad
mixture. will nso
Hoofland’s German Bitters.
In caeca of nervous depression, when some alcohol!*
stimulus Is necessary,
HOOFLAND’S GERMAN TONIO
should Iks weed.
The Bitters or tlic Tonic arc both equally good, and
contain the same medicinal virtues.
The stomach, from a variety of enuseg, such as Indi
gestion, Dyspepsia, Nervous Debility,
etc., is very apt to fjdf w/fek have Its functions
deranged. The result of which Is, that the
natlcnt Buffers from several or moro of
tho following diseases
Constipation. Flatulence, Inward Piles,
Fulness of Blood to tho Head, Acidity
of the Stomach, Nausea. Heart
burn, Disgust for Food, Fulness
or Weight In the Stomach,
Sour . Eructations, Sink
ing or Fluttering at tho Pit
of the Stomach, Swimming of
the Head, Hurried or Difficult
Breathing. Fluttering at the Heart,
Choking or Suffocating Sensations when
in fl tying Posture, Dimness of Vision,
Dots or Webs before the Sight,.
Dull Fain in the Head, Deft"
olency of Perspiration, Yel
lowness of the Skin and
Eyes, Fain In
the Bide, /OTVm Back,Cheat,
Limbs, eto., Sudden
Flushes of Heat, Burning
in the Flesh, Constant Imaginings of Evil,
and Great Depression of Spirits.
These remedies will effectually cure Liver Complaint,
Jaundice, Dyspepsia. Chronic or Nervous Debility.
Chronic Dmrrnica, Disease of the Sidney*, and all
DlMTOtii.arlslng from a Disordered Liver, Stomach, or
Inlealiaeo.
DEBILITY,
Resulting from any Cause whatever;
PROSTRATION OF THE SYSTEM,
induced by Severe Labor, Hard
ships, Exposure, Fevers, eto.
There Is no medicine extant equal to tlieeo remedies
In such cane#. A tone and vigor Is Imparted to the
whole System, the rv_—Appetite IsStrongth
emid, food 1* enjoyed. the stomach digests
promptly, the blood - j|sc» Is purilied. tho com
plexion pec o m a e wSS sound and healthy,
the yellow tlngo la eradicated from the eyes, a bloom
Is given to the ebeess, and the weak and nervous in
valid becomes a strong end healthy being.
Persons Advanced in Life*
jjofl feeling the hand of time welching heavily npon
tlium, with nil lu attendant Hie. will find In the nee of
this BITTKUB, or the TONIC, an elixir, Unit will
Instil new life imo their v.'luhj rrntnre In a mvuaure
the energy and anlor of more youthful day*. lml:d up
their shrunken forms, and give health ana happiness
to their remaluttig years.
NOTICE.
It Is a well-established fact that fully one-half of the
female portion of our population are sel
dom In tne enjoyment 1 T(53 of good health; or.
to use their own ex ijß _n a predion,.'* never feel
well.” They are lan geld, devoid of all
energy, extremely nervous, and have no appetite.
To this class of persons the BITTERS, or the
TONIC, Is especially recommended.
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
Are made strong by the use of either of these remedies.
They will euro every case of MARASMUS, without
fail. . .
Thousands of certlllratcs have accumulated In the
hands of the proprietor, hut space will allow of the
publication of nut a few. Those, It will be observed,
are men of nolo and of eueh standing that they must
be believed.
.......250,000
200,000
.1,250,000
....i«W,UOO
....100,000
.1,200,000
1,000,000
TESTIMONIALS.
.5,010,000
Hon. Geo. W. Woodward.
Chief Justice of £Ae Supreme Court of Pa., writ**:
Philadelphia, March 10,1867.
**l And ‘Hoofland's «=» German Bitters Ms
• good tonic, useful /QnX In diseases of tho
dhtcsllveoruans,and of great benefit la
eases of debility, and mtm want of nervous ac
tion la tho system. Tours truly,
GKO. W. WOODWARD.”
Hon. James. Thompson.
Judge of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania.
iViOadeJpWa, April 23.1866.
«I consider ' Hoofland’s German Bitters * a valuable
medicine In case of attacks of Indigestion or Dyspepsia.
1 can certify lids from my experience of lU
Yours, with respect,
From Eev. Joseph H. Kennard, D. D.,
Pastor of the Tenth Baptist Church, Philadelphia.
Or. Jackson— Dear Elr : 1 have been frequently re
quested to connect my name with recommendations
of different kinds of medicines, but regarding tho prac
tice as out of my np r===. 55a prop 1 "* 010 *
have In all cases de j|\?< Jj dined; but with a
clear, proof In vari OM Instances and
particularly in my own family, of the
usefulness of Dr. Iloolland’s German Bitters, I depart
for once from my usual course, to express my full
conviction that, for general debility qf the system, ««a
especially for Liver Complaint, it is a safe and valuable
preparation. In some cases it may fail; but usuallyj 1
doubt not, It will bo very beneUcial to those who suffer
from the above causes.
Tours, very respectfully,
J. H. KENNABD,
Eighth, below Coates fit.
From Eev. E. D. Fendall,
Msitiani Sditor Christian Chronicle, Philadelphia.
1 have derived decided benefit (ram the dm of Hoof-
Isnd's German Bluer*, and fee! it my privilege to re*
commend them u a moat valuable tonic, to all who an
mlWlng from general debility or from diseases arising
from derangement of tho liver. Yoon truly,
CAUTION.
Hooflaod's German Ecmodlee are counterfeited. Be*
that tbe denature of O. M. JACKSON
U on the wrapper |EI °t bottle.
All other* are coin) IHJa Ul l cil ‘„ , .
PrtiiclnaJ Ofllce frm *** and Mann factory
at tbe Qennm Medicine Store, No* 681AROB Street,
Philadelphia.
CHARLES hL EVANS,
Gorman Drugslst, Proprietor,
Formerly C. U. Jaoksok 4t Co.
Wat p»tf» by &_ druggists and Beaten In Medicine*.
3?HXCLEIQ«
Hoofland's German Bitten, per bottle
u •* “ half dozen ...6 00
Hoofland’* German Tonic, put up In quart bottles, 1 60
per bottle, or a half dozen f0r.,,,.......*. 1 60
KW Tvt notfory*. to examine well the article yem
bail In order to got wio genuine.
Jan, 1888.—ly
AND
When Evo had led her lord away.
And Cane killed hla brother*
The stars and flowers, the poet says,
Agreed with one another.
To cheat the cunning tempter’s art;
And leach the race its duty.
By keeping on Its wicked heart
Their eyes of light and duty.
A million sleepless lips, they say.
Would boatlcasta warning—
And so the flowers would watch by day,
The stars from night to morning.
=On hill and pralrlo, Gold and lawn,
Their dowey eyes upturning,
The flowers still watch from reddening dawn,
TUI Western skies are burning.
Alasl each hour of daylight tells
A tale of shame so crushing,
That some turn white as sea-bloached shells,
And some are always blushing.
But when the stars look down
On all their light discovers—
The traitor’s smile, the
The Ups of dying lovers.
They try to shut their reddening eyes,
Am! lu the vain endeavor.
We see them twinkling In the skies—
And so they wink forever.
‘ What was that?' exclaimed Mrs. An
drews to the lady who was seated next to
her, as a single strain of music vibrated
for a few moments on the atmosphere. ,
‘ A violin, I suppose,” was answered*
* A violin I* An expression almost of
horror came into the countenanceof Mrs.
Andrews. *lt can’t be possible.’
It was possible, however, for the sound
came again, prolonged and varied.
* What does it mean?’ asked Mrs. An
drews, looking troubled, and moving un
easily in her chair.
‘Cotillions, I presume,’ was amwered
carelessly.
‘Not dancing, surely I’
But, even as Mrs. Andrews said this, a
man entered, carrying in his hand avio
lin. There was an instant movement on
the part of several younger members of
the company ; partners were chosen, and
ere the pious Mrs. Andrews bad time to
collect her suddenly bewildered thoughts,
the music had struck up, and the dancers
were in motion,
‘I can’t, remain here. It’s an out
rage ” caul Mrs. Andrews, making a mo
tion to rise.
The lady by whom she was sitting
comprehended now more clearly her
state of mind, and, laying a bund on her
arm, gently restrained her.
1 Why not remain? What is an out
rage, Mrs. Andrews ?’ she asked.
‘ Mrs- Burdick, knew very well that I
was a member of the church.’ The la
dy’s manner was indignant.
‘ All your friends know that Mrs, An
drews,’ replied the lady. A third per
son might have detected In her tone a
lurking sarcasm, but this was not per
ceived by the individual addressed. —
* But what Is wrong?’
‘Wrong! Isn’t that wrong?’ And
she glanced towards the mazy wreath of
human figures already eliding the floor.
‘ I could not have believed it of Mrs.
Burdick ; ami she knew that I was a pro
fessor of religion.’
‘ She does not expect you to dance,
Mrs. Andrews,’ said the fady.
‘But she expects me to countenance
the sin and folly by my presence.’ ,
‘ Shi mid folly are strong terms, Mrs.
Andrews-’
JAMBB THOMPSON,”
ZL D. FEND ALL.
.poo
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY. NOVEMBER 19,1868.
Iforfical
STARS AND FLOWERS,
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMEJ.
f)$ll s i* nTT anco ns.
TUG nTUBLGD PHARISEE.
* I know they are, and I use them ad
visedly. I hold it a sin to dance.’
‘ I know wise and good people who
hold a different opinion.’
‘ Wise and good !’ Mrs. Andrews spoke
with strong disgust. ‘ X wouldn’t give
much lor their wisdom and goodness—
not I V
‘ The true qualities of men and women
are best seen at home. When people go
abroad they generally change their attire
—mental as well as bodily. Now, I have
seen the home life of certain ladles who
do not think it a sin to dance, and it was
full of the heart’s warm sunshine; and I
have seen the home life of certain ladies
who held dancing to be sinful, and I have
said to myself, half shudderingly:
* What child can breath© that atmos
phere for years, and hot grow up with a
clouded spirit, and a fountain of bitter
ness in the heart?’
‘ And 8Q you mean to say,’ Mrs. An
drews spoke with some asperity of man
ner, * that dancing makes people better—
is, in fact, a means of grace.”
* No ; I say no such thing.’
‘Then what do you mean to say? I
draw the only conclusion I can make.’
‘One may grow better or worse from
dancing,’ said the lady. ‘All will de
pend on the spirit in which the recrea
tion is indulged. lu itself the act is in
nocent.’
Mrs. Andrews shook her head.
‘ In what does its sin consist?’
‘ It is an idle waste of time.’
‘Can you say nothing more of it!’
‘ I could, but delicacy keeps me silent.’
‘Did you ever dance?’
*Me ? What a question 1 No!’
' I have danced often; and, let me say,
your inference on the score of indelicacy
as altogether an assumption.
1 Why, everybody admits that.’
‘Not by any means.’
‘ If the descriptions of some of the mid
night-bails and assemblies that I have
heard of,the waltzlngandall that,be true,
nothing could be more indelicate—noth
ing more injurious to the young and the
innocent.’ «
‘ All good things become evil In their
perverseness,’ said the lady. * And I
will readily agree with you that dancing
is perverted, and Its use as a means of
social recreation, most sadly changed in
to what is injurious. The same may be
of church-going.’ „ A ,
‘ You shock me, 1 said Mrs. Andrews.
‘Excuse me, but you are profane.’ •
‘ I trust not. For true religion—for the
holy things of the church—l trust that I
have the most profound reverence. But
let me prove what X say, that even
church-going may become evil.
‘ I am all attention,’ said the incredu
lous Mrs. Andrews,
‘ You can bear plain speaking ?’
* Me!’ The church memberlooked sur
prised.
‘Yes you.’ , . ,
‘Certainly I can. But why do you
ask me?’ « . ...
‘To put you on your guard—nothing
m °Don't fear but what I can bear all the
plain-speaking you may venture upon.
As to church-going being an evil I am
ready to prove the negative against any
allegations you can advance. So speak
o *After a slight pause, to collect her
thoughts, the lady said:
‘There has been a protracted meeting
i in Mr. B ’s church.’
‘ I know it. And a blessed time it has
been.’
* Yon attended?'
‘ Yes, every day; and greatly was my
soul refreshed and strengthened.’
‘ Did you see Mrs. Eldridge there?’ •
1 Mrs. Eldridge ? No indeed, excepton
Sunday. She’s too worldly-minded for
that?' ,
* She has a pew in your church.’
' Yes; and comes every Sunday morn
ing because it la fashionable and respec
table to go to church. As for her relig
ion, It isn’t worth much, and will hardly
stand her at the lost day.*
‘Why, Mrs. Andrews! lou shocls
mol Have you seen into her heart? Do
you know her purposes ? Judge uot, that
ye the-divlne-fnjunc
tion,”
‘A tree is known by Its fruit,’ said
Mfs. 'Andrews, who felt the rebuke, and
slightly colored.
‘ True; and by their fruits shall y©
know them,' replied the lady. 'But
come, there are too many around ua her©
for this earnest conversation. Wo will
take a quarter of an hour to ourselves in
one of the less crowded rooms. No one
will observe our absence, and you be
freed fr< m the annoyance of these dan
ces.’
The two ladies quietly retired from the
drawing-rooms. As soon as they were
more alone, the lost speaker resumed.
‘ By their fruits shall ye know them.—
Do men gather grapes of thorns, or flgs of
thistles? Let me relate what I saw and
heard in the family of two ladies during
this protracted meetings One of those la
dies was Mrs. Eldridge. I was passing
in her neighborhood about four o’clock,
and as I owed her a call, thought the op
portunity a good one for returning it.—
On entering, my ears caught the blended
music of a piano and children’s happy
voices. From the front parlor, through'
the partly opened door, a sight, beautiful
to my eyes, was revealed. Mrs. Eldridge
was seated at the instrument, her sweet
babe asleep on one arm, while, with a
single hand, she was touching the notes
of a familiar air, to which four children
were dancing. A more innocent, loving,
happy groupe I have never seen. For
nearly ten minutes I gazed upon them
unobserved, so interested that I forgot the
questionable propriety of my conduct,
and during that time notan unkind word
was uttered by one of the children, nor
did anything occur to mar the harmony
of the scene. It was a sight on which
angels could have looked, nay, did look
with pleasure; for, whenever hearts aro
turned to good affections, angels are pres
ent. The music was suspended, and the
dancing ceased as I presented myself.—
The mother greeted mo with a happy
smile, and each of tbo children spoke lo
her visitor with an air at-oncc polite ami
respectful.'
* E’vo turned nurse for the afternoon,
you see,’ said Mrs. Eldridge, cheerfully.
4 it’s Alice’s day to go out, and I never
like to trust our little ones with the cham
bermaid, who isn’t over fond of children.
We generally have a good time on these
occasions, for I give myself up to them
Entirely. They've read, and played, and
told stories until tired, and now i've jifat
brightened them up, body and mind, with
a dance.’
‘ And bright and happy they all look
ed.’
1 Now run up into the nursery for a lit
tle while, and build block houses,’ said
she, * while I have a Utile pleasant talk
with my friend. That’s good children. —
And I want you to be very quiet, for
dear little Eddie is fast asleep, and I’m
going to'lay him in bis crib.’
Away went the children, and I heard
no more of them for the half hour during
which I staid. With the child in her
arms, Mrs. Eldridge went with the'*.,—
As she was laying him in the crib, I took
from the mantel a small porcelain figure
of a kneeling child, and was examining
it when she turned to me. * Very beau
tiful,' said I. ‘lt la,’ she replied. ‘Wo
call it our Eddie saying his prayers.—
There is a history attached to it. Very
early I teach my little ones to sayan eve
ning prayer. . First impressions are never,
effaced; I therefore seek to implant, in
the very dawning of thought, an idea of
God, and our dependence on him for life
and all our blessings, knowing that', if
duly fixed, this will ever remain, and be
the vessel, in after years, for the recep
tion of truth flowing down from the great
source of all truth. Strangely enough,
my little Eddie so sweet in temper as ho
was, steadily refused to say his prayers.
1 tried in every way that I could think of
to induce him to kneel with the other
children, and repeat a few simple words;
but no, his aversion thereto was uncon
querable. lat last grew really troubled
about it. There seemed to bo a vein in
his character that argued no good. Ono
day I saw this kneeling child in a store.
With the sight of it came the thought
of how I might use it* I bought the fig
ure, and did not show it to Eddie until he
was about going to bed. The effect was
all I bad hoped to produce. He looked
at it for some moments earnestly, then
dropped on his little knees, clasped his
white hand, and murmured the prayer I
had so long and so vainly strove to make
him repeat.’
‘ Tears were in the eyes of Mrs. Eld
ridge as she uttered the closing words. I
felt that she was a true mother, and loved
her children with a high and holy love.
And now, let me describe you a picture
that strongly contrasts with this. Not
fur from Mrs. Eldridge resides a lady who
is remarkable for her devotion to the
church, and, I am compelled to say, want
of charity towards all who happen todif
fer with her—more particularly if the dif
ference involves church matters. Itwua
after sundown: still, being in the neigh
borhood, I embraced the opportunity to
make acall. On ringing the bell, I heard
immediately a clatter of feet down the
stairs and along the passage, accompanied
by children’s voices, loud ami boisterous.
It was some time before the door was
opened, for each of the-four children,
wishing to perform the office, resisted the
others’ attempts to admit the visitor.—
Angry exclamations, rude outcries, ill
names and struggles for the advantage
continued, until the cook, attracted from
the kitchen by the noise, arrived nt the
scene of contention, and, after jerking
the children so roughly as to set the two
youngest crying, swung it open, and I
entered. On gaining the parlor, I asked
for the mother of these children. '
‘ She isn’t at home?’ said the cook.
‘She’s gone to church,’ said the oldest
of the children.
‘ I wish she’d stay at home.' remarked
the cook in a very disrespectful way, ami
with a manner that showed her to be
much fretted in her mind. ‘ It’s Mary’s
day out, and she knows I can’t do any
thing with the children. Such children
X never saw! They don’t miiidSjj&word
you say, ami quarrel so aniotfglffhem
selves, that It makes me sick to hear
them.’
‘At this momenta headless doll struck
against the side of my neck. It had been
thrown by one child at another; missing
her aim, she gave me the benefit of her
evil Intention. At this the cook iost all
patience, and seizing the offending little
one, boxed her soundly before X could in
terfere. The language used by that child
as she escaped from the cook’s bands, was
shocking. It made my flesh creep V
‘Did I understand you to say that your
mother had gone to church?’ I asked of
the oldest child.
* Yes ma’am,’ was answered. She’s
been every day this week. Therp’s a
protracted meeting.’
‘Give me that book !’ screamed a child,
at this moment. Glancing across the
room, I saw two of the little ones con
tending for possession of a large family
Bible, which lay upon a small table,—
Before 1 could reach them, for I started
forward, from an impulse of the moment,
the table was thrown over, the marble
top broken, and the cover torn from the
sacred volume.
The face of Mrs. Andrews became in
stantly of a deep crimson. Not seeming
.to notice this, her friend continued:
*As tho table fell, it came within an
inch of striking another child on the
head, who had seated himself on the
floor. Had it done so, a fractured skull,
perhaps instant death, would have been
the consequence.’
Mrs’. Andrews caught her breath, and
grew very pale. The other continued.
' In the midst of the confusion that fol-
lowed, tho father came home.
‘ Where is your mother?'he asked of
one of the children.
‘ Gone to church/ was replied.
‘Odear! I can hear his voice now,
whh Its tone of hopelessness—* This
church-going mania is dreadful. I tell
my wife that it is all wrong. That her
best service to God -is to bring up her
children in the love of what is good and
true —in filial obedience and iraterunl af
fection. —BuHtravailsnot; J “—
i And now, Mrs. Andrews,’ continued
the lady, not in the least appearing to no
tice the distress and confusion of her
over-pious friend, whom she had placed
upon Jthe radb, * When God comes to
make up his Jewels, and says to Mrs- El
dridge, and also to this mother who
thought more of church-going than of
her precious little ones, 4 Where are the
children I gave you?’ which do you
think will be moat likely to say, 'Hear
they are, not one Is lost?’
‘ Have I not clearly shown you that
oven church-going may be preverted in
to an evil? That piety may attain an
ordinary growth, while charity is dead
at the root? Spiritual pride, a vain con
ceit of superior goodness because of the
observance of certain forms and ceremo
nies, is the error into which two many
devout religionists fall. But God sees
not as man seetb. Ho looks into the
heart, and judges his creatures by the
motives that rule them.’
And, as ebe said this she rose, the silent
and rebuked Mrs. Andrews, whose own
picture had been , drawn, followed her
down to the gay drawing-room.
. Many a purer heart than that of the
humble Pharisee beat there beneath the
bosoms of happy maidens, even though
their feet were rising and falling in time
to witching melodies.
imOTHER CRAWFORD’S SERMON.
A Southern exchange gives this as the
first sermon of a now minister in a vil
lage in that section. He began apologet
ically as follows:
“ You don’t see me to-day in the dress
X allers wear; I come among you as a
stranger and am now tricked out in my
store clothes* lam not a proud man, but
I thought it would be more becoming
among strangers.”
After this he raised a hymn in which
the congregation joined. He then began
his sermon. »
My dear brethren and sisters, first and
foremost, I’m guine to tell you the affec
ting partin’ I had with my congregation
at Bethel Chapel. After I had got thro’
with my farewell sermon, as I com© down
outch the pulpit, the old gray-beaded
brethren and sisters who listened to my
voice twenty years, crowded around me
and with sobbing voices and tearful eyes,
said—Farewell, brother Crawford !
As I walked down the aisle, the young
ladies, tricked out in their finery, brass
jewelry, gewgaws, jim-cracks, paints and
flounces, looking up with their bright
eyes, and pronounced with their rosy lips
—Farewell, brother Crawford 1
The young men, in their tight pants,
boots, high collars and dasby waist-coats
—smelling of pomatum and cigar-smoke
—with shanghai coats and striped Zebra
pants—they too said—Farewell, brother
Crawford!
The little children—lambs in the fold
lifted up their tiny hands and small voi
ces, and with one accord, said—Farewell,
brother Crawford!
The colored brethren of the congrega
tion now came forward (black sheep who
bud been admitted to the fold under my
ministry,) with tears rolling down their
cheeks, they too said—Farewell, brother
Crawford!
As I got on my horse and bade adieu to
my congregation forever—l turned to
take a last look at the church where I
bad pleached more than twenty years—
and as 1 gazed at its dilapidated walls and
moss covered roof—it too seemed to say—
Farewell, brother Crawford!
As I rode through the village, the peo
ple who poked their heads oaten the win
dows and the servants who leant on their
brooms, all seemed to say—Farewell,
brother Crawford!
As I passtd along down the highway,
through the forest, the wind, as it sighed
and whistled through the tree tops, play
ing on the leaves and. branches the bur
den of salvation, it too seemed to say
Farewell, brother Crawford I
Crossing a little creek that was gurg
ling and singing over Its pebbly bed, as
it rejoiced on its way to - the great ocean
of eternity, it too seemed to say—Fare
well, brother Crawford I
As I rode down a hot, dusty lane, an
old sow that was asleep in a fence-corn
er, jumped out of a sudden with a loud
broo-too, broo-too; she io»* seemed to say
Farewell, brother Crawford!
My horse got frightened and jumped
from under me, and as he curled his tall
over bis back—kicked up bis heels and
rau off; be too seemed to say—Farewell,
brother Crawford!
A Virtue of Necessity,—Phellm
was a young Irishman who wanted to
marry Kitty, who was a young Irish
girl. XCitty’s father would not consent
to the match, and the story runs thus :
All of these things was Phellm cogita
ting as ihe was walking pensively along
the river on the afternoon alter his refu
sal. A splash awoke him from his reve
rie—ho sprang toward the place—he
looked into the water—and, good heav
ens! up came the bald head of Kitty’s
father! Here was vengeance for him. —
The old gentleman could swim a little,
j ust enough to keep above water for a few
mi nutes. There was nothing for him cling
to, and Phellm in sight. Should he let
him drown, and go marry the girl? No,
be would save him. Irish generosity
overbalanced his love, and seizing a long
but very slender pole, lying near by, ho
reached the end to him. The old gentle
man took It. Phclim commenced haul
ing in, when a thought struck him, and
he shoved him back into the water, allow
ing him still to' hold on to the end of
the pole.
“Do you know me, you old black
guard ?”
“ Av course X do I Pull me up V*
" Are you entirely comfortable there in
the water?”
“ Pull me up, ye spalpeen I”
“Faix, air that I won’t. It’s the
furst time I iver sec yo in the water, an’
it pleases me.”
“ Puli me up!”
Zt “ Will you consent?”
“ Consent to what?”
“Kitty —ye know well enough what I
mane!”
“ Nlver!”
“ It's all one to me; ye may drown;en
tlrely, and who’ll stop me thin? Think
twice. Will ye consent?”
The old gentleman was becoming ex
hausted. “Yes, I consent. Pull mo
up.”
“Will you give us a sitting out?”
said Phellm, who knew his advantage,
and wtos disposed to improve it.
“Yes; pull me out?”
The event proved that the old man was
us good as his word. Tb© young couple
were married, and moved, with a very
suitable outfit for housekeeping, into a
comfortable cottage which the father of
Kitty possessed.
Foil —An aged negrsss,
whose eminent piety had secured for her
an extensive reputation, in walking her
usual round of vNit, dropped In upon a
neighbor, who was equally well known
us u tempeaule man ami ii hater of tobac
co. After being courteously received, the
negvess pulled from hor pocket* a long
pipe, and commenced smoking some very
strong tobacco, to the infinite disgust of
her host. The man maintained his com
posure several minutes, but the fumes and
smoke soon became too powerful for him,
and rising from his chair, he said ;
“ Aunt Chloe, do you think you are a
Christian?"
“ Yes, brudder, I ’epects I is.”
“ Do you believe in the Bible, aunt}’ ?"
“ Yes, brudder."
“ Do yon know there isa passage in the
Scriptures, which declares that nothing
unclean -iiaii mlicr.t the kingdom of
heaven ?".
“ Yes, I’ve heerd of It."
“ Do you believe it?"
“ Yes/V
: “ Well, Chloe, you smoke and you can
not enter the kingdom of heaven, because
there is nothing so unclean as the breath
of a smoker. What do you say to that?"
1 bind me when I go to heaven*”
VOL. 55.—N0. 33.
BE PLEASANT.
“A fretful temper will divide
Tbo closest knot that mny bo tied
By careless Sharp corrosion:
A temper passionate and fierce
May suddenly your Joys disperse
Alone Immense explosion."
CO HTKR.
'“Yes do be pleasant, Mr. Grumbler:
and don't delight in making yoursel/ and
every one around you miserable. Learn
to smile, whether you really feel good
tempered or not. Others have troubles
and disappointments as .well as you, but
you don't seem to know It.
When you leave for your daily toil,
don't do ft with a growl; don't for the
sake of your oivn comfort and happiness,
Mr. Grumbler; for how can you expect
your care-worn wife to go about her dal
ly work cheerfully, and make things
comfortable for ‘papa,’ when your part
ing words IUI ber heart with, gloom and
bitterness?'
When a half-loving word escapes you
to the woman you so often make unhap
py, don't try to cough it down s as if you
were ashamed to speak kindly to her;
for their is no weakness in pleasant words
and loving smiles. The strongest na
tures love best.
At evening come home pleasant, even
if you do feel weary. Trouble not your
family with your business cares; you do
not want to be troubled with their ‘pet
ty' domestic affairs. Help your wife and
children to make home bright and beau*
tiful—why can't you, Mr. Grumbler?—
Do try to, there’s a dear, good man.
And you, Mrs. Fretful, ought to have
something to do beside fretting and snarl
ing. Don’t sit clown and count over the
joys you have not, but try and * make the
most' of the small blessings you have.
Caro and disappointment may have
saddened your life, and thedeatluof cher
ished friends may have darkened it; but
when peace, like a golden ray of sun
shine, steals over our gloomy life-path,
don't turn your face from the light, and
refuse to be comforted.
* May there be. who, through tho vale of life,
With velvet pace, unnoticed, softly go
who are burdened with cares as heavy to
bear as yours, Mrs. Fretful. .
When a friend comes to you with a
smiling face and joy in her heart, be
above trying to look heart-broken be
cause she forgets that you are 1 in mour
ning.’ Be pleasant though you feel sor
rowful, for there may come a day when
you will not care to see her face cold with
indifference when turned toward you.
Speak pleasantly to your husband.—
Don’t worry him nearly out of his senses
with your fretfulness and ill-temper. —
True, he may not bo * perfection'—are
you, madam?
The kindest and tho happiest pnir
Will find occasion to forbear;
And something, every day they live,
To pity and, perhaps, forgive.
Make yourself loveable and your homo
attractive; be forbearing and forgiving,
and your husband (if you have notcrush
ed all the manliness out of him) wii)
prefer the social fi re-sldo to tho bar-room
and billiard saloon Butif you continue
to bo selfish, exacting, and fretful, you
7nust expect
Au ago of discord and continual strife.
Men swear at thealtarto-takea woman
for ‘better or for worse,’ but bow few
take her for worse! Women take‘good
care to appear, if they are not, all that is
loveable and beautiful before marriage,
and as a lover’s eyes are usually enchants
ed, and he believes all he sees, he is very
ready to promise anything on the bridal
morn ; but after marriage, after months
and years have glided away, ami he finds
that his 1 angel’ is only a woman—a sel
fish, jealous.fretfui,ill-tempered woman—
he very quietly creeps from under ‘pet
ticoat government,’ ami madam la left to
whine and pout at the firesid alone.
When your husband cornea home with
dim eyes hud unsteady steps, who is to
blame but you, Mrs. Fretful ? When he
sometimes stumbles Into one of chose
holes of iniquity which the devil digs for
unhappy men, who's to blame? Some
body beside Batnn. Be pleasant, If you
would wiu your way to his heart, and
have him * turn to tho light of home.’—
Loving words, kind acta, and cheerful
smiles will keep him at your aide when
tears and prayers fail to do it. Many
wives are crying.
What shall I do to win ray lord again 7
Good friend, go to him; by this light ol heaven
X know not how 1 lost him.
Yes, you do know how you ‘ lost him
you know that your fretfulness has filled
his home with gloom, and bis heart with
misery. ‘Go to him,* yourself, and ask’
(what tears) his pity and forgiveness,
and if the
'Sweet Intercourse of looks and smiles’
cannot make him a better or a kinder
man, ho is little better than a brute , ma
dam, and the less you trouble yourself
about him the happier you will feel.
Be pleasant—not only wives and hus
bands—but everybody to everybody.—
Good humor makes homely men and wo
men charming, old maids endurable, old
bachelors tolerable, and home delightful.
Every one can bestow a kind word and a
friendly smile on his neighbors and
friends—the % cry poorest of us can do
that—and it is our duty to give smiles
and cheering words as” freely as ‘ God
gives us light.’
'Pleasant wordsl Oh! Oh, lot uh strive
To use them very often:
Other hearts they will delight,
And our own will soften.’ *
and when mother earth bears her. bosom
and takes us to our last rest, wo shall not
he forgotten. When the golden stars
shine out in their ‘ far oft*depths,’ 1 vlug
eyes will watch them through gathering
tears, and true friends will think of the
absent one they can never see again till
they, too, have passed over the cold,
dark river of death.
Do be pleasant, * and be kind one to
another, tender-hearted, forgiving one
another, even as God for Christ’s sake
hath forgiven you.’ ”
most amusing story is told of
Judge B , now occupying a high post
in the Pennsylvania Slate government.
Travelling, some years since, by rail to
Harrisburg, on a blazing hot day, with
some friends, the iron horse bud slopped
to water, when suddenly he drew his
white handkerchief from his pocket, and
waving it vigorously in the air, at the
same time bobbing his head out of the
window In a very energetic manner.
“What are you about, Judge?” asked
Mr. Q., without rising from his seat.
“ •Why don’t you see yonder? There’s
a lady waving a white handkerchief, and
I’m returning the salute.”
“ Who is siio, Judge?” asked Mr. Q.,
as he lounged in one corner.
“ Well, the fact is, I donCexactl y know;
I l ® quite near-sighted, ami I can't re
cognize her; but she la dressed in gray
silk, ami stands yonder, under a big ma
ple tree, near my friend, John li.’s
house.” '
Mr. Q. hobbled over to the Judge's side
and gazed in the direction Indicated, but
saw only that the Judge bad been ex
changing salutes for leu minutes with uu
Iron-gray mure, whose long white tall, as
it flopped away the tlies, bad been taken
by him for a white handkerchief, waved
by a lady iu u gray»ilk dress.
The buttons that were subsequently
picked up in that cur are said to have
heouexceedingly numerous* The Jm>gu
didn’t swear; hut ho changed the subject
to saw-mills, the only Intelligible portion
of which being the Irequent repetition of
the word “ dam."
BgF* Life does hot consist altogether in
pushing.' That is good, efficient, excel
lent, splendid; but it is not all. We
have to pull* • Nothing goes steadily on,
even love, the pleasantest of ' human
einotio.i.-, :.*, nut a loud of when
you can’t pull, push. Having u hand at
one or the other, you.aro sure to eventu
tato in progress. Push; utter that, pull;
after that again push. The two teil—ap.U
tell well.
Bgy At Clermont, iu France, a woman,
determined to commit suicide, recently
saturated her .dress with kerosene and
then set" Weld It."
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WISE AND OTHER WISE.
—An old salt—Lot's wife.
—A fiery steed—Horse radish. ,
—Time on the jump—Leap year.
—A lightemploymont—candlemaking.
—A trade always on thestrike—ablack
smith.
Drees material for the dog days—muz
zlln.
—Most liquids run; but we have seen
ink stand.
—Solitary employment—clerk In a loan
office.
—What kind of tea should Good Tem
plars use—Charity.
—The child's idea of a smile is “the
whisper of a laugh."
—Can a man who gets drunk on oxy
gen be said to be air tight?
—The oldest business in the world—the
nursery business.
—The first star engagement—when the
morning stars sang together.
—What part of a gan la fit for wearing
apparal—the breech Is,
—The original inhabitants of the globe
—the Poles of the earth.
—A muff—a thing that holds a young
lady’s hand without squeezing It.
—Over head and ears in debt—wearing
an unpaid for hat*
—Prentice says tho present serfs of the
South like the surf of the sea, are white.
—Wliy are people who stutter not to
be relied on? Because they are always
breaking their word.
—Those who drink wine and tea show
that they can stand an attack of grape
and canister.
—Mrs. Muffles says it is " dreadful bard
to lose a busbpnd.” She never got used
to it till she lost her fourth.
—Why is a washer-woman the most
cruel person in the world? Because she
daily wrings men's bosoms.
—Some one called Biobard Steele the
“ vilest of mankind.” He retorted with
proud humility.. “Itwould bo a glori
ous world if I were.”
—Hood, in describing the meeting of a
man and lion, says: “ Tho man ran off
with all his might, and the lion with all
bis mane.”
—Because & man who attends a flock of
sheep is a Shepard, makes it no reason
that a man who keeps cows should be a
coward.
—Young man, don't ’ flatter yourself
that a cardamon seed, a kernel of burnt
coffee, a bit of flag root, or lemon pec), a
clove, or anything of that sort wul dis
guise the “nip” that has gone down
your throat.
—A notice of a recent steamboat ex
plosion in a western paper, ends as fol
lows: “the captain a warn ashore. Sodld
the chamber maid; she was insured for
$15,000, and loaded with Iron.”
—A Yankee wishing for some sauce for
his dumplings, forgot the n&mo of it ami
said:
“Here waiter, fetch me some of that
gravy that you swallow your dumpling
in!”
—Burlesque and satire often accomplish
what v reason, logic, and good sense fail to
effect. It is only by making men, man
ners and institutions absurd and ridicu
lous that these qualities in them can be
reformed. are exceedingly good
weapons, but are to be Judiciously used.
—“How Is It, my dear, tbat.you hare
never kindled a flame in the bosom of
any man?” said au old lady to her pretty
niece, who was portionless. “ The rea
son, dear aunt,” replied the young lady,
“is as you will know, that I am not a
good match,”
—When lovely woman stoops to frolic,
And riles the ruso, alas 1 too late.
What balm shall heal her melancholic?
What art shall set her back op straight?
The only thing for her disaster—
The only way her woo to end—
Is to apply a mustard plaster;
If she won’t do it. lot her bend.
—A clergyman, observing a poor man
by the road breaking stones, and kneel
ing to get his work better, made the re
mark, “ Ah! John, I wish I could break
the stony hearts of my hearers as easily
as you are breaking these stones.”—
“ Perhaps, master, you do not work on
your knees,V was the reply.
—Lamb and Coleridge were talking to
gether on the Incidents of Coleridge’s
early life, when be was beginning bis
career in the church, and Coleridge was
describing some of the facts in bis usual
tone, when he paused and said; “Pray,
M r. Lamb, did you over hear me preach ?”
“I never heard you do anything else,”
said Lamb.
—An ardent young couple called upon
a Chicago minister the other evening
and were made one. Half ah hour after
wards a Chicago banker rushed into the
minister’s house, learned the facts, and
went away very red in the face because
his daughter had married “ that fellow.”
Half an hour later still a Chicago broker
rushed into the minister’s bouse, learned
the facts, and went away very red in the
face because bis son had married “ Mat
Kiri.”
—Somebody says editors are poor,
whereupon an exchange remarks:
“Humbug! Here we are, editor of u
country newspaper, fairly roiling In
wealth. We have a good office, a paste
pot, a double-barrelled gun, two suits of
clothes, three kittens, a Newfoundland
pup, two gold watches, thirteen day and
two night shirts, carpet on our floors, u
pretty wife, one corner 2ot, have ninety
cents in cosh, are out of debt, and, have
no rich relatives. If we are not wealthy,
it is a pity.”
—ln a certain' family, a pair of twins
made their appearance, and were shown
to their little sister of four years. It hap
pened that whenever their cat of . the
household had kittens, the,prettiest wuh
saved and the rest were drowned. . When
the twins were shown the child by their
happy father, she looked at them earnest
ly, and at length putting her linger tip
on the cheek of one of them, looked up
with all the seriousness possible, ami
said: “Papa, I think we’ll save this
one.”
—A “ Gbowin” Iteji.-A woman in
Detroit bos been arrested for smuggling
tea in her stockings.— Express.
In North Carolina the women carry
nails In their stockings. —Jtateigh J*ro
gress.
Nothing wonderful. The ladies of For
sythe carry calves iu their stockings.—
Salem Observer,
And one of our ladles carries her corn
In bora.— Home <7a., Cbm*.
The ladies In this section who sympa
thize with Andy Johnson iu his tight
with the Radicals, carry V-toea In theirs,
which are very seldom, passed over their
heads.— Vincennes hun. ■
All the woman down our way carry
splendid elegies (legß,) in their stocking*.
—Kentucky News,
The ladies’here all carry ’eels (heels,)
iu their stockings.— St. Joseph Vindica
tor, .
Down this way some of them not only
carry calves in their stockings, but they
also carry bran to fatten them.— Mexico
Messenger.
Almost all the ladies hereabouts carry
Sunyan's work iu their- stockings* W»*.
consider this a 44 sock-dolager!”
Tho ladles of Scranton are nm very pa*
Ucularwhst they put in their stocking*
—keeping there souls there—ami are n
awkward they often 44 get their foot in it."
— Jicoisier.