®|)C American iJoluuteer.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
BRATTON Ac KENNEDY,
OFFICE-SOUTH MARKET SQUABE,
Tbbms:—Two Dollars por year If paid strictly
in advance; Two Dol'arsand Fifty Cents If paid
within three month*; after which Three Dollars
will be chained. These terms will be rigidly ad
hered to In every Instance. No subscription dis
continued until nil arrearages ore paid, unless at
'the option of the Editor. . .
professional <£atlis.
Q.EO. 8. EMIG,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
No. S South Hanover street. Office with W« J
Shearer, E*q.
April 80,1863,— 1y.
J. M. WEAKLEY. W. F. SADLER.
KLEY & SADLER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
NO. 10 BOOTH HANOVER BT.
Carlisle, Pknn’a,
Deo. 19.1807.—ly
yNITED STATES CLAIM
AND
REAL ESTATE AGENCY!
WM. B. BUTLER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office In 2d Story of InhofTs Building, No. 8 South
Hanover Street, Carlisle, Cumberland county,
Pcnna,
Pensions, Bounties, Book Pay, Ac., promptly
collected. . .
Applications by mall, will receive immediate
attention. .
Particular attention given to the Bolling or rent
ing of Real Estate, in town or country. In all let
ters of inquiry, please enclose postage stamp.
July 11,1867—tf
W KENNEDY, Attorney at Daw.
. Carlisle. Penna. Office same M that oi
tne ’‘American volunteer,” South side of tho Pub
lic Square.
Deo. I 1860
Me. HERMAN, Attorney at Law.
. Office In RUeem's Hull Building, In the
roar of the Court House, next door to tho Her
ald" Office, Carlisle, Penua.
Deo. 1, 1885.
JOHN R. MILLER. Attorney at
Law. Office In Hannon's Building, opposite
tne Court House, Carlisle , Pa.
Nov. U, 1807.
JOHN DEE, Attorney at Law,
North Hanover Street, Carlisle, Pa.,
heb. 16,1888—ly. • ___
JOHN. C. GRAHAM, Attorney at
• I Law. Office formerly occupied by Judge
Graham, South Hanover street, Carlisle,. Penna.
Deo. I, 1885.
TAMES A. DUNBAR, Attorney at
pj Law, Carlisle, Ponuu. Office a few doors
West of Hannon’s Hotel.
Deo. 1.18(16.
rp E. BELTZHOOVER, Attorney
P and Counseloh at Law, Carlisle, Penna.
Office on South Hiluover street, opposite Beutzs
Store. By special uriaugemuut with tho Patent
Office, attends to securing Patent Rights.
Deo. i, 1885.
OHAS. E. MAdLAUGHLIN, ATTOR
NEY AT Law. Office la Building formerly
occupied by Volunteer, u few doors South of Han
non’s Hotel.
Doc. I, 1885.
r\R. GEORGE 8. BEARIGHT, Den-
II tist. From the Baltimore Oolleae of Denial
Suraenj. Office at the residence of uls mother,
East Louther Street, throe doors below Bedford,
Carlisle, Penna.
Deo. 1,1805.
3sotflo.
JIEANKLIN HOUSE,
OPPOSITE THE COURT HOUSE,
CARLISLE, PENN'A,
GEORGE WETZEL, Proprietoi-
Fob. 0,1803.—1 y
/CUMBERLAND VALLEY HOUSE,
CORNER OP EAST HIGH
AND
BEDFORD STREETS,
CARLISLE, PA.
J, B. F L O Y D , Proprietor.
March IS. 18JW.— ly
jHatecellanemtsi.
A.
STON E S '
aromatic cordial,
A SAFE. SPEEDY At.D RELIABLE CURB
TOR THE WORST CASES OF
DIARRHOEA,
DYSENTERY,
CHOLERA,
PAINS OR CRAMPS IN THE
STOMACH OR BOWELS
This remedy has been used with unparalleled
no cess In the cholera seasons of 1832—1840 and
854 .
THOUSANDS OF DOTTLES HAVE BEEN SOLD
in Philadelphia; and references can alsqbeglv
en to persons residing In this town—who have
used the -n < liclne and who spouff In the high
est terms of Its
PROMPT AND EFFICIENT RELIEF.
PRICE FIFTY CENTS,
BItKPAKKD ONLYBY THE PBOPIEIOB AT
PRINCIPAL DEPOT
CORNER DRUG STORE,
SHIPPENSBURQ, PA.
For tale by
WM. CLARKE & SONS,
LEES * ROADS.
COYLE & CO.,
11 BOOTH HANOVER BT.. CARLISLE.
HAYERSTICK, DRUGGIST,
S. A. STONER,
GELWIOKS & CO.,
CHAM BEBSBDRGP
ORESSLER, DRUGGIST,
’ CHAMBBRSBURG.
JOHNSON, HOLLOWAY &
COW DEN,
002 ARCH ST., PHILA.
t ‘ TD DRUGGISTS GENERALLY,
ill 5. IRftß.—Bin
home tn 33 R 1 S
wants ;bi
family at iu"Bou iui6. -FANCY STORE,
10 75 a 12 75 for I*eniisy.v7*- • 1
and 13 al5 per barrel for fancy \*o TypJpOT
Kyo Flour IsH'^a?
In O' 'w»9ilaT MAIN STREET,
r} ' _
° CARLISLE, PA.
A flue assortment ot Goods on hand, snob as
Writing Desks.
Port Folios,
Ladles Companions,
Work Boxes.
Satchels,
Ladles’ Purses,
Pocket'Books,
Segar Coses,
Card Cases.
Gold Pens,
. Pen Knives,
Ac., <so
A LARGE SUPPLY OP
FAMILY BIBLES
and PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS
AT BEDUCED PRICES.
DIABIES FOR 1868.
Subscriptions received for all Magazines. Fash
ion Books, Papers. Ao.. at publishers prices. You
save postage and always sure of receiving your
Magazines bv subscribing at Pipkr's.
Special attention la paid to keeping always on
hand a supply of
* SCHOOL BOOKS, .
lor town and country schools.
Books and Muaio ordered when desired.
May 23 IR67—lf.
’vxrall Papers.
PAPERHANOINGB!
AN IMMENSE STOCK OT
WALLPAPERS,
NEW AND ELEGANT STYLES
FOB PARLORS, HALLS, ETC,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL,
HOWELIi A BOORKE’S,
Corner of Foorth and Market
April a, USL—la Pnn.anti.yniA
BY BRATTON & KENNEDY,
QOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!
GREAT DECLINE IN PRICES
AT THE NEW AND CHEAP CASH BTOUE,
CORNER OF HANOVER AND I‘OSIFBKT STREETS.
The subscriber would respectfully Inform the
C‘ 11c that ho is receiving almost dally from the
torn Cities, a large invoice of New and Cheap
Goods, such as.
LADIES’ DRESS GOODS,
PLAIN, BLACY AND FA NON Sll.kS,
French Merlnocs,
Mohairs,
Poplins,
Blade and Fancy
French Repps,
•Plain and
Fancy Bo Laines,
X’lnln and Fancy
Alpaca,
SHAWLS! SHAW-S!
BROCHA LONG AND SQUARE,
LONG AND SQUARE WOOLENS
BREAKFAST SHAWLS in groat variety
and very cheap. 'fc
CLOTHS AND CASSIMEBES!
FVencA,
German and
American Cloth t,
Slack and
Fancy Cassimeres,
Doeskins,
Diask and Fancy
Crcr Cbatings, SaliincUs,
Kentucky Jeans,
Undershirts and
DOMESTICS!
Blenched and Brocha
Table Diapers,
Counterpanes,
and Quilts,
Cotton Flannels,
Bleached and
Unbleached Muslins,
Tickings, Checks,
REMEMBER THE PLACE,
ON TIIR CORNEII OF
HANOVER AND POMFRET STREETS,
tho room formerly occupied by
B. K. Jameson <t Co.
Nov. 7.lBtf7—tf
1868.
DOMESTIC GOODS,
CAS3IMEBES, BATTINETTS AND J BANS,
dress trimmings,
RIBBONS AND NOTIONS
RING’S NEW STORE,
NO. 55 WEST MAIN STREET,
Opposite the Mansion House,
Next door to the Post Office, Carlisle.
April 18.1808.
628. HOOP SKIRTS. 628,
WM. T. HOPKXN’S -‘OWN MAKE
are the best and Cheapest Low Priced Hoop
skirtt In the market. Trail Skirts, 25 springs,
SUW; BUsprings, $1.20: amUU springs. $1.45. Plain
Skirts, 0 tapes, 2Usprings, 80 Ceuta; 2osprings, Do
Ceuta: 30 springs, BUS; and 35aprlugs, $1.25.
Warranted in every respect.
“Our OWN MAKE” ol “.UNION BKIFTS
Eleven Tape Trails, from 20 to 50 springs. $1.20 to
$2.50, Plain, six Tapes, 20 to oO springs, from Do
Cents to $2.00. are bettor than those
sold by other establishments us first class goods,
and at much lower prices. ' TrvKt
“OurOWN MAKE" of “ CHAMPION SKIRTS
aro la every v f ay superior to all oilier Hoop skirts
belore the Public, aud only have to bp examined
or worn to convince every one ol the fuel. Manu
factured of the best liueu-fiulshed English Steel
Borings, very superior tapes, and the stylo ol
metalio fastenlngsand manner of securinglhem
auruuss fur dm ability and excel enco any other
Skirt In this country, and aro lighter, more elas
tic will wear longer, give more satlsluoilou, and
are really cheaper than all others. Ar cry lady
should try (Item. They are being sold "Xton*
sively by Merchants throughout this and the ad
joining states at.very moderate prices. If you
want the best ask for "Hopkins Champion
Skirt.” if you do not find them, get the Mer
chant with whom you deal to order them for
vou orcoineorsenddlroottous. Merchants will
Ind our different grades of skirts exactly what
they need, and wo especially invite them to call
and examine our extensive assortment, or send
lor Wholesale Price List. . ...
To be Hud at Retail at Manufactory, and of the
Retail Trade generally, and at Wholesale of the
Manufacturer only, to whom all orders should bo
addressed.
CA RLISLB.
MANUFACTORY AND SALES ROOM,
623 ARCH STREET,
Between 6th and 7th Sts, Philadelphia.
WM. T. HOPKINS.
MIDDLE SPRING.
March 5,1868.—lOmos.
JQ R Y GOODS.
RICKEY, SHARP & CO.
No. 727 CHESTNUT STREET,
Have now the most complete ana elegant stock
of
S P RIN G GOODS,
mif line of HEAVY BLACK Gh6b GRAIN and
lusterless silks, for SUITS. ,
Plain Brown and Mode Taffettas.
Plain Brown and Mode Poulte do Soles.
FULL LINE OF
MOHAIR AND ALPACA POPLINS,
Of the choicest coloring, together with an Exten
sive Variety of DRY UOußa, embracing Cloths,
Casslmeres, House-Furnishing Goods, Ac.
RICKEY, SHARP & CO.,
727 Chestnut Street,
PHILADELPHIA.
Fab. fl. 1868.—1 y .
Q BEING IS BELIEVING!
AT 704 ARCH STREET.
NEW PRICES! NEW GOODS
BICH SILVER AND SILVER PLATED WARES,
JOHN BOWMAN’S
Wholesale ana Retail Manufacturing Establish
mcnt,
NQ. 704 ARCH STREET
j»“Ke*platlnß at abort notice.
AUgUll 23. XWT—ly
39t|) (Booths.
Poplins
Drawers.
Towels,
Napkins, &c.
THOS. A. HARPER.
SPRING, ' 186g>
BARGAINS
Now opening in
DRESS GOODS,
WHITE GOODS,
ZEPHYRS,
“KEYSTONE SKIRTS/’
Including every stylo and .
description, made
ly for the winter trade\M/
'which for neatness and
durability cannot sur- jjjg
passed at t
PHILADELPHIA
JUfleßical.
HOOFLAHD’S GERMAN BITTERS,
AND
Hoofland’s German Tonic.
Prepared by Dr. 0. M. Jackson,
PHILADELPHIA. PA.
The Great Remedies for all Diseases
LIVER, STOMACH, OR
DIGESTIVE ORGANS.
—o— r
Hoofland’s German Bitters
Is composed of tlu* pure .iniees (or, n't llmynre medici
nally termed, f.x —j j hurls ) of Uonti,
II t* rb i» him) Barks, making « prepnra
lion, highly rntim) If;r“ .U 3 (rated, nnd imlirsly
frerfruv i Alcoholic rJiJ.- 'n'.tlj athnijrlure nf any
kind.
HOOFLAND'S GERMAN TONIC,
n tv combination of nil the Inpu-dlenU of the Bittern,
'llh the purest quality ot Sanfn Crux Hum, Ornime,
lc.. making one of Uu* most plensnnt nml Agreeable
Hinnlii-H i-vi'i ollered to the public.
Those preferring n Medicine free from Alcoholic tuJ
ilxturu, will use
Eoofland’s German Bitters.
In caffs of ncrrmiß depression, when some nloobolU
itlmulus Is necessary,
HOOFLAND’S GERMAN TONIO
should bo list'd.
The Billers or the Tonic nre both eqimlly good, and
contain the mime medicinal virtues.
The •lortmeh, from a variety ol onuses, such ns Indi
gestion, Djapepsla, Nervous Debility,
etc.. Is ver\ apt to ((PY '*sQk have It* fuurtlnns
deranged- The result \fi&, JJffj of which Is, that the
OftUcDl sutlers from Sitin'* 1 ' several or more ol
the following dlflL-uH-8
Constipation. Flatulence, Inward Piles,
Fulness of Blood to the Hoad, Acidity
of tho Stomach, Nnunca, Heart
burn. Distrust for Food, Fulness
or Weight in tho Stomach,
Sour Eructations, Sink
ing or Flutterinc at the Pit
of the Stomai h. Swimming of
tho Head, Hurried or • Difficult
Breathing, Fluttering at the Heart,
Choking or Suffocnting Sensations when
In e Lying Posture, Dimness of Vision,
Dots or Webs before the Sight,
Dull. Pain in tho Head, Defi
ciency of Perspiration, Yel
lowness of the Skin and
Dyes, -j-p- Pain In
the Side, {jfjf wA Back,Chest,
Limbs, etc., )hj Sudden
Flashes of Heat. Burning
In the Flesh, Constant Imaginings of Evil,
and Great Depression ol Spirits.
These remedies will cfTertnnlly cure Liver Comnlnlnt,
Jiunidli-e, Dyspepsia, Clminip or Nervous Debility.
Uhmnlr Dmrrlm-ii. Disease of Ihi- Kidneys. and all
Diseases arising from a Disordered Liver, bionnich,or
Intestines.
DEBILITY,
Resulting from any Cause whatever;
PROSTRATION OF THE SYSTEM,
Induced bv Severe Labor, Hard
ships, Exposure, Fevers, etc.
Tlirn* is no medicine oxtain equal to these remedies
In such cusps. A tom* and vlgot is imparted to tho
whole Wv-trm, mu riiTTi'i|-«iii AppetiielsStrength
ened. f'«"i Is unloved. Uu* stomach digests
promptly. tin* blood i« pTinlled, the corn
plosion b<•c o m e r Si wit sound and healthy,
the yellow tinge Is eradicated from the eyes, a bloom
I* given in the cheeks, ami the weak atm nervous in
valid becomes n strong ami healthy being.
Persons Advanced in Life,
And feeling the hand of time welching heavily upon
them, with nil lie attendant lII*, will find In the uee of
ihle BITTERS, or tin- TONIC, an elixir that will
Inelll new life in o their veins, restore In a meanure
the energy and ardor of more youthful day*. hnl d up
their nhnmken forms, anil give health aud (nippiness
to tbalr remaining years.
NOTICE.
It is a wcll-cutnbllahcd fact that fully one-half of the
female portion of our . ■ • population are sel
dom In the enjoyment |BiT* of uo«*d health ; or.
to use their own ex Ira rs premium " never feci
well." They are tan Wawirtlil guid, devoid of all
energy, extremely nervous, and have no appetite.
To this class of persons the BITTERS, or tho
TONIC, Is especially recommended.
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
Are made strong hy the use of either of these remedies.
They will cure every case of MARASMUS, without
Thousands of certllle-aies have accumulated In the
tinnfs of the proprietor, huj spare will allow of tho
piltVirnlton of out a few. Thosc.it will he observed,
are men of nolo aud of such standing that they must
bo Relieved.
TESTIMONIALS.
Hon. Geo. W. Woodward.
(Xitf Jutlict of the Supreme Court of Pa., writes!
Philadelphia, March 10, 1807.
*‘l Rnd ‘TToofland’s /==» German Bitters Mi
ag<«d tonic, useful //v\ In diseases of lh(
dlgeitlveorgans, and of great benefit lr
easel of debility, add want of nervous ac
Uonln Iho system. Ymirs truly,
GEO. W. WOODWARD.”
Eon. James Thompson.
Judge of the Supreme Court of Penntylvania.
Philadelphia, April 28, 1860.
“ 1 consider ‘ TToonand’s German Bitters ’ a raluabl
tnerttnneUi ease of Hltaehaof Indigestion or Dyspepsia
1 cut ©unify ibis from my experience of IU
Yotirfl, with respect.
JAMES THOMPSON."
Fi|)m Rev. Joseph H. Kennard, D. D.
fartor <f the Tenth Saptisl Church, Philadelphia.
fr.Jackton—Vo ar Sir: I have been frequently re
quirted U> connect my name with recommendations
ol dllWent kinds of medicines, hut regarding the pmc
tlcessoui of my ap (==, rsa prnpriale sphere, I
have In all'eases do T cllned; hut with a
clmr pmof In vari JIXVI ons Instances and
partlrularly ki my own family, of the
usefulness of Dr. llootland's German Hitler*., 1 depart
(or once from my usual course, to express my full
eoorlctlon that, for general debility if On tyrtrm, and
emnaUy/or Liver Complaint, tl u a safe and valuable
preparation. In some cases It may fall; but usually, 1
doubt not, It will he very benebdal to tboao who suffer
from the above causes. , „
Yours, very respectfully,
J. U. KENNARD,
Eighth, below Coates BL
From Rev. E. D. Fendall,
Jttidani Editor Christian Chronicle, Philadelphia.
I have derived decided benefit from the quo of hoof*
land’* German Bitters, and feci It my privilege to re*
conlmend them as a moat valuable tonic, to all who are
•ollehnii from tfeiienu debility or from diseases orbing
from derangement of t ho liver. Yours truly.
CAUTION.
Hoofland’s German Remedies arecotinlerfelled. Bee
th»i ihualijnaiuivof —i_-~T U. JACKSON
ts on the wrapper |j| of each bottle.
All others ore eoun t«rtc.t.
Princhirtl Olllre and Manufactory
at the German Medicine Store, Ko. 631 AUUJJ Street,
PblladelpUla,
CHARLES M; EVANS,
German Dnip.'lst, l*rn|irletor,
Formerly C. U. .Taokbox & Co.
For tale by a- Sniggliu ami Dealers In Medicine*.
PBICES.
DooQand’* German Bitters, per bottle 11 00
u i* “ luilf dofi-n 6 00
DooUftnd’* German Tonic, put uplnquartbottlei, I 60
per bottle, or a half doien for. 7 M
Do not forget to examine well the article jroo
boj, in order to get the genuine.
Jan. 180b.—ly
iWlical.
THE TWO GRAVES.
UY WILLIAM CULLEN BRYANT.
Tls a bleak wild hill, bat preen and bright
In the summer warmth and the mid day light;
There's the hum of the hco and the chirp of the
wren.
And the dash of the brook from the alder glen;
There’s the sound of a hell from the scattered
ilock,
And the shade of the beech lies cold on the rock.
And fresh from the west is the free wind’s breath—
There Is nothing here that speaks of death.
Far yonder whore orchards and gardens lie,
And dwellings cluster, ’Us there men die.
They are born, they die, and are burled near,
Where the populous gravo-yard lightens the bier;
For strict aiid close are the lies that bind
In death the children of human-kind;
Yea, stricter and closer than those of life, —
’Tls a neighborhood that knows no strlle.
They are noiselessly gathered—friend and foe—
To the still and dark assemblies below ;
Without a frown or a smile they meet,
Each pale and calm In his wludlng-shcct;
In that sullen homo of peace and gloom,
Crowded, like guests In a banquet-room.
Yet there nro graves in this lonely spot.
Two humble graves,—but X meet them not.
I have scon them,—eighteen years are past,
Since I found their place in the brambles last,—
The place where. llfly winters ago,
An aged man In his lodes of snow,
And an aged matron, withered with years,
Were solemnly laid !—but not with tears.
For none, who sat by the light of their hearth,
Behold their collinscovered with earth;
Their kindred wore far, and their children dead,
When the funeral prayer was coldly said.
4£Two low green hillocks, two small gray stones,
iXnso over the place that held their bones;
But the grassy hlriocks are levelled again.
And the keenest eye might search in vain,
’Mong briers, and ferns and paths of sheep,
For the spot where the aged couple sleep.
Yet well might they lay, beneath the soil
Of this lonely spot, that man of toll,
Ami trench the hard mould with the spado,
Where never before a grave was made;
For he hewed the dark old woods away,
And gave the virgin fields to the day;
And the gourd and the beans, beside bis door,
Bloomed where t heir flowers ne’er opened before •
And the maize stood up, and tlio boarded rye
Bent low in the breath ofnn unknown sky.
‘Tis said that when this life Is ended hero.
The spirit is borne to a distant sphere ;
That it visits Us earthly homo no more,
Nor looks on the haunts It loved before.
But why should the bodiless soul bo sent
Far otr, to a long, long banishment?
Talk not of the light and the living green !
It will pine for the dear familiar scene:
It will yearn, in that bright world, to behold
The rock and the stream It know of old.
’Tls a cruel creed, believe it not!
Death to the good is a milder lot,
They a r o here- they are here—that harmless pair,
In the yellow sunshine and flowing air.
In the light dond*shudows that slowly pass,
lulhesoundsthat rise from Urn murmuring grass.
They sit whore their humble collage stood,
They walk by the waving edge of the wood,
And list to the long accustomed (low
Of the brook that wets the rocks below.
Patient, and peaceful, and passionless,
As seasons on seasons swiftly press.
They watch, and wait, and linger around,
Till tho day when their bodies shall leave tbo
giound,
A lU;3IAKI£A«Li; I.III’OSI'OIC.
I had taken my place in the express
night train from Paris to Marseilles, on
my route to Algeria and Morocco. There
was nothing remarkable in my fellow
travelers, nor in their convers ition, un
til we at rived at the third or fourth sta
tion, where we received an addition to
our party in the person of a passenger,
as remarkable for the neatness of his
equipment as the perfectly gentlemanly
style of his general appearance. Every
thing about him exhibited the taste of a
man of Lite tipper ten thousand, who iiud
plenty of money at his command, and
was accustomed to the best society.
Up to the present lime, as the conver
sation of my fellow-travelers had consist
ed of nothing more interesting to a stran
ger than the prospects of the harvest and
the vintage, 1 half dozed in the corner of
the cair.aae, quietly enjoying my cigar.
“Ah! monsieur,” exclaimed our new
voyagcur, “ what a. splendid cigar that is
you arc smoking! I knew* it to bo a
Havana, by Iho aroma, the moment I
entered the carriage. Von cannot get
such a tiling now in franco, at any price,
unless you import them you'.-sell, and
then you must get a special order to do
so Irotn the government. Nevertheless,
lino as yours undoubtedly are, I think
mine are etjuullv good,” said lie, handing
mu at the same time his cigar case to
help myself.
This led lo a.most animated conversa
tion ; and ifl was struck by thedUtitigue
appearance of the stranger at lirst, half
an hours’ conversation, allowed that he
was a man of rare ability. Like myself,
he was also a great traveler; had been
all over Europe and a great part 01. Asia
and Northern Africa, spoke several of
the languages of Europe with great flu
ency, as well as a little Russian and
Turkish ; and, while comparing notes, 1
found ho was ns well acquainted with
the manners and customs of the various
countries lie hud visited as myself—a very
unusual thing in Frenchmen, who have
nothing of (ho passion of the English
for traveling, and rarely speak any for
eign language snlliciently well to make
themselves understood.
, Luring the whole night wo amused
ourselves with details of our adventures,
and anecdotes of "the strange characters
wo hud met with during our travels;
took refreshments together at different
buffets along the line; treated each oilier
in the same friendly, confiding manner
as if we had known each other for years.
Nothing occurred to interrupt our har
mony until 1 arrived at Marseilles,
where having secured a place in the steam
er bound to Algiers, we sat down to a
comfortable breakfast at our hotel. 1
hud, however, scarcely taken the first
mouthful, when the waiter entered tel
ling me there was a gentleman wailing
lo see me in the* adjoining room. A
glance was sufficient lo tell me that the
person who had sent for me was an agent
of the Police.
“ Monsieur est Anglais ?” said be rath
er abruptly.
“ Oui, monsieur.”
“ I thought 4b. You have come direct
from Paris, and you are on your way to
Aiglets; you took some refreshment at
Lyons, ami drank a bottle of Chamber
tin with your chumpaguon do voyage of
the railway carriage.”
“ Most accurately described,” I replied.
“Did you ever meet with the gentle
man before?”
“ Never.”
K. D. PEND ALL.
“ (_/f course, then, you know nothing
of liia history or antecedents?”
“ Absolutely nothing.
“ No doubt you find him a very pleas
ant companion V”
“ I never met with one more agreeable
or gentlemanly.”
“Bo much the worse for those he se
lects his vieiims. Just look and see if
you have lost anything?”
“No; here is my money all right in
my pocket-book, and there are my de
spatches in the breast pocket of my coat."
“ Marvelous! —most marvelous ! M cried
my interrogator, “You will no doubt
be astonished when I tell you that you
have made ttio acquaintance of one ot
the most uccomfftished chevaliers d’in
duutrie at this moment in nil Europe,
who, notwithstanding his disreputable
calling, is a nobleman, and related to
some of the flr*t families in France. We
have nothing against him at present; for
the very best reason, that be boa only
just completed liU term of imprison-
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 21. 1868,
meiit; but lie is such a wonderful actor,
and his disguises are so numerous, ami
so true to nature, that even the Argus
eyes of the most vigilant agent de police
is deceived. Indeed, it was only by the
slightest chance I lecognized him, ami
then I owe it entirely to that strong bot
tle of Burgundy he helped you to drink
at Lyons; but so it is, and bus ever been,
in nine cases out of ten, the cleverest men
in crime that I have had to do wilh, lose
their wits when they take a glass too
much.” On saying this, he turned on
his heel, and most unceremoniously quil
ted the room. I was bewildered. I knew
not what to think. Alight it not be a
a caseof mistaken identity ?-somo persons
so much resemble each oilier. Tin* more I
thought, the more I considered the mat
ter, the more J believed I hhd arrived at
die right conclusion. What, so perfect
a gentleman us that, to be a common pil
ferer!—a common pick-pocket! Prepos
terous! I had lost nothing; on the con
trary, lie laid plenty of money at com
mand, and throughout the jo.urhey paid
his share of whatever we had in common,
as every other high-spirited gentleman
would have done, I was lost in amaze
ment and full of confidence in the hon
orable character of my friend, I entered
the breakfast room, and laughingly said,
in the off hand manner of a man who
disbelieves in ioto wbat lie is about to
say. “Bo you know, monsieur, that I
have just had a visit from an agent de
police, wlio has told mo that you are one
of the greatest escrocs of the day?—one
of the mostaccomplfshed chevaliers d’in
dustrieat this moment in Europe.”
“ Monsieur! have you seen any tiling in
my conductd tiring our short acquaintance
to warrant such a supposition ?” he an
swered, drawing himsell up with all that
indignation of manner and bearing that
might ho expected from a gentleman who
felt himself Injured by an unjust suspi
cion.
“Nothing!” I exclaimed ; on the con
traiy, in all my travel# 1 never met with
a companion I liked a>» much, no one that
was more amusing, ami all I regret is that
1 did not kick Hie follow down Blairs."
“ Don’t be so hasty, monsieur. Appear
ance# are al 1 in my tavor, but, alas ! every
word the agent told you is 100 true. lam
a sorry dog, lor, having lost all that I had,
and afterwards what my friends and re
lations could spare, I have been compel!*
ed for the last lour or five years to live
by my wits. Stilt, during ail .that lime,
i never forgot that I was a gentleman.—
My quarries, when I want money, are
those Unit prey upon the .weakness of
their tel low creatures—your princes of the
Slate ami Church, your rich iinaneiera,
bankers, and slock-jobbets; but never
yet have I taken a cent from a poor gen
tleman. My scouts at the Hotel des
.princes, where you were staying, put me
on alulae scent. I certainly did intend
to do a little businessou my own account,
at your expense, when I look my place
with you in the same carriage ; and now
you must be aware of the numberless op
portunities I had of taking every birth
ing you were possessed of, if I was so in
clined..' But, no; 1 very soon saw you
hml no money to spare, and to spoil such
us you, monsieur, would be worse titan
sacrilege. Above all jou charmed me
with your conversation and adventures;
you made me happy ; I was again a gen
tleman, and you treated mo as one. It
recalled to my remembrance the brighter
period of my life—the time when I was
tree /rum crime—the spoiled child of a
doting mother, who denied her darling
nothing that wealth could purchase. And
more, monsieur, having told you some
thing of my sad, eventful life, X am sure
you will grant one favor; Please retire
into the adjoining room, for just live
minutes, while I puck up the few tiling#
I have, and be off.”
On my return, instead of my traveling
companion I fount! uco/nmissiunuiyc from
the Messagejrie Imperhile Bteam-Packet
office, who hud been sent for my luggage
ami to say that, owing to a telegraphic
message just received from Paris, the
steamer would sail in less than a quarter
of an hour. Having no time to loose I
hurried on board, and when in the act of
placing a piece of money in tho hand of
my conductor, a peculiar look and a deep
drawn sigh told me at a glance whom 1
hud before mo; hut so completely trans
formed hi appearance as to defy the posi
bililv of recognition. I had merely a
moment to say, “Go on the stage; that
Is your true vocation. Do not f< rgel this ;
there ia my card - write and let me know
if I can be of any service to you.”
In all my travels, in my intercourse
with my fellow creatures, whether civil
ized or semi-barbarian, I never met with
one, however vicious, who hud not some
thing good in his nature, if you happen
tostrike the right chord. The high-born,
titled route, who up to this time hud
been celebrated only forenme. all at once
vanished from the world, as if he never
hud been. I n short, he adopted Hie coun
sel I had given him, changed his name,
and is now one of the most popular actors
of the day, us much respected for his vir
tues as he is admired for his talents by
every man of his acquaintance.
EX-PRENinKM* accoust
<p' ms i mfi;,
The General lives in a-tidy little cot
tage on Main street, situated on an emi
nence overlooking the Merrimac Valley
and river, and a short quarter of a mile
from tile business part of the town. His
wife and children are all deceased, and
the declining years of his life are there
fore spent in a solitude only broken by
the frequent visits of peisonal friends of
whom he has very many. He does not
keep house hut boards with Mr. ami Mrs.
Williams, who furnish him witli an ele
gant suit of rooms on the lower floor of
their cottage mansion. 'His most inti
mate frieud is Hon. Josiuh Minot, Pres
ident of Hie Concord Railroad and a
prominent lawyer and Democratic poli
tician. He lias also a warm friend in the
person of Ira A. Eastman, his next door
neighbor,who, by the way,ls also a promi
nent attorney and Democrat and at one
time (during the War) came within five
hundred votes of being Governor of New
Hampshire.
Some years ago, Mr. Pierce purchased
a charming building lot about a mile
west of the State-house, in the direction
of Millville, and laid the foundation of a
large and beautiful homestead ; but while
be was in Hie midst of prosecuting these
plans, which he hud Jong had in view,
his partner in life passed away, and he
at once abandoned the whole enterprise,
and what would have been undoubted
ly one of the finest mansions in Concord
is now a heap of decaying masonry. He
has, however, a nice little “ cottage 1 by
.the sea.” in the vicinity known as Boar’s
Head, Hampton Beach, where he spends
Hie summer months. Within a short
time he has become i\ member of the
Episcopal church in Concord, of which
he is a regular and devout attendant.—
Much of ids lime, when health permits,
is devoted to the poor, and it is most un
questionably true ho dispenses aid most
liberally to all objects of charity which
may come to his notice. He does not
wait for a person in distress to apply,
but learning of misery, he searches lor it
personally, and extends sympathy and
relief whenever it is needed, whether
among the Anglo-Saxon or sable race.
In social life lie is the same kind and
genial man that he was in the White
House, and while many despise and
abuse him for his political creed, there
are few, if any, who will nut defend him
ugainstany reproach that may be brought
against him us a man, a philanthropist
and an honest and practical Christian.—
In brief, he is as thorough n member of
the human family as he is of the Demo
cratic party. When not confined to his
rooms by illness lie makes a daily visit
“down town,” and occasionally ventures
a few miles outside of Concord’s limits
to pass a day or lavo with some old friend.
Cor. New York Herald.
fiSs“The useof oil forburnlng in lamps,
was known as far back as the days of the
patriarch Abraham, more than nineteen
hundred years before tbo birth of the
Baviour.
OLD MAIDS.
BY RENA ROSE.
What if I am an “ old maid” or a young
maid either! Is there anything to be
ashamed of in the fact? I glory in it;
for in my estimation to be a maiden lady
and willing to confess It, is one of the
strongest proofs that can be given of a
strong mind, since every young female
is changing her name and condition of
life. The time has been when old maids
were considered the very quintessence of
all that was ugly ; but that time is long
, past and with reason. I make no preten
tions to beauty, but I flatter myself I
look as well as many of my fair friends
who have slipped their necks into the
noose matrimonial. But what, I ask,
can a “strong jninded”,female preceive
in the bipeds or the present day, techni
cally terined young men, who live upon
their parents in idleness, content so to
do; and what can she see.ln such a per
son to delight her or form an alliance?
Bcprlve them of thoseexlras w hich make
‘‘ fine birds” of them and what would he
left worth our admiration or esteem. Not
much, truly! As u matter of conve
nience, to wait upon us to and from par
ties they are very well; but Ibis nonsense
ought to tie confined to our earlier.years.
Just to think of being united to them for
life.
Again, maiden laidics are free from all
those petty annoyances incident to the
No cross husband to
if his shirt buttons are accidentally off
—and shirt buttons will get oil—if the
bosom is not polished so nicely; if his
dinner is not prepared at exactly such
an hour,because lie is in a hurr.j togettmek
to ids place of business, notwithstand
ing ho has plenty of time to rest alter
dining; no servants to provoke you witli
their everlasting blunders; no worrisome
children to demand your attention when
you wish to “go out;” no none of these
Iroubles arc ours. As lam now, I have
my on way in everything ;mo one says
to me, nay. If I desire to “ go shopping,”
out shopping I will go, making what
purchases I see fit, with no fear, on my
return, of being accosted with, “ Well
inv dear, iiovv much have you spent to
day ?”
But some one may say, do you never
feel lonesome, and at some times think
how* pleasant it would be of an evening
to have some' one beside you, to share
your joys and «orrows,-to read to you
some interesting book, or help pass away
the time in some agreeable manner?
No % ! thank fortune, I do not wish I was
married ; I am lonesome at tithes, and Co
the best of my knowledge, many of my
acquaintances who tfre blessed with ge
nial spirits, experience the same feeling.
Kora short time alter marriage the hus
band is content to remain at homo with
his “ better half,” but this, ere long, be
comes monotonous, and on some pretence
or other he passe# his evenlngs uway from
the domestic hearth. The club must be
attended; some one. of their dear live
hundred friends must be seen ; some very
important business must be transacted —
or, perhaps, he ituves home because he
cannot endure the cries of that “awful
noisy child,” regardless of his poor wife,
who must remain at home, for, of course,
he does nut invite her to accompany
him. If lie goes to any place of amuse
ment where he knows his wife longs to
go, her duties require her to remain in
care of the household ; so he takes some
fair friend along unbeknown to them at
home, because that would cause a fuss in
the family, and such little “ Hare ups”
are disagreeable.
If the dear one of your heart conde
scends to remain at home, precious little
comfort or udvantagerdo you derive from
his presence. He will take his paper, a
political’ one, of course—because you
neither know or cure about politics—and
having lighted his meerschaum, ho will
sit and read and puff, till the room is so
full of smoke you cun scarcely see across
it, and so pregimted witli the vile odor of
the sickish stuff, that many a bottle of
Cereua” will be required to expurgate
the scent from your clothes; which, ol
i course, hoQunnot afford to purchase. If
•you venture to remark in regard to its
oisapreeableness, he will look up with a
“did you speak my dear?” or “it
didn’t u#e to be offensive before we,were
I married”—ever referring to the past, as
i though what you then endured, you
| must submit to—forgetful that he then
| smoked sigars instead of the odious pipe.
; If the baby is unwell or inclined to cry,
be will remark in such a quiet, pleasing
tone? “Come, now, I wish you’ would
stop that brut’s noise :J,I can’t read any
with such an infernal racket,” nevercon-
I sidering that the brut is his, us well us
| your own, and that lie ought to help take
j cure of it, whiUh lie never does —
Wlio'h to Jake care of me when
L cun lake care of myself now, and
guess I can lay by a sufficient for a
“ rainy day.” I bless my stars I haven't
a la/.y, good-for-nothing “hubby” to
take cure of into the bargain. I’ve no
ticed, if a woman marries, who Is smart,
her husband soon leaves the management
to her, willing to have her prove her ca
pability.
No! as 1 said before, I never wish I
was married. The mission of an old
maid is to do good, so far as they can ;
never tiring of exerting themselves to
the utmost in any philanthropic enter
prise to which they have more time to
devote, because they are not tied to fuuil- -
ly mailers.
Who were the Florence Nightingales
in our army, married or single ladies?
Ceartainly the latter! Many a poor sol
dier, whose bones are bleaching on a
foreign soil, if lie could speak to-day,
would utter blessings on the kindly wo
man, (an old muidullen,) who kindly set
by his side when wounded and dying,
and gently smoothed the hair from olf
Ids fevered brow with her cool, hand ;
or repealed to him, in gentle tones, the
little praver learned in childhood, thus
cheering’hls lust hours by resignation to
his condition, and by the hope imparled,
giving assurance of meeting, ere long, in
the armsof his Savior, with those friends
who are already gone, and those soon lo
follow.
This is the mission of an old maid, and,
I think, a holy one. Borne may think
me egotistical, but my advice is “ be care
ful, young ladies, before you commit
matrimony, which may prove a living
death.” If any differ in opinion with me,
or think me too severe on the sterner sex,
I trust they will excuse me for having
expressed myself bo fully or freely.
jpaT'Mr. Van Buren was trying a cause
between the Croton Aqueduct Board and
the St. Nicholas Hotel. Itanpeared that
the water did not rise of itself to the up
per stories of the hotel, but was carried
by means of forcing pumps. The board
demanded extra payment for the addi
tional used by these means; and
the only question really at Issue was, a*
to the third Hour, whether it was suppli
ed by means of forcing pumps or by the
natural rUeof the water. The evidence
on the point being somewhat conflicting
the Judge (Roosevelt) jocosely suggested
that the counsel on both sides should visit
the hotel, and ascertain the true state of
the case bv ocular inspection.
Mr. Van Buren—“May It please the
Court, I greatly fear that if my learned
brother and myself should visit the Bt.
Nicholas Hotel in company, neither of
us would flud his way above the ground
floor." t
We do not know whether the Judge
was aware that the bar Is situated outhis
ground floor.
fox* a »in ludv of Albany was said
to have imbibed a feeling of dislike to
wards Mr. Van Buren; and an acquain
tance of thutgentleman rallied him about
it and claimed he should tell the cause.
With all the seeming truthfulness of
manner possible and in his passive, pleas
ant off-hand way he no doubt invented
the following: . „,, . .
“ It dates back to my childhood, when
I refused her a ride down hill on my
sled."
-KO. 49
VOL. 54.-
•*i«IX TAKE WHAT FATHER TAKES.
*“ What will you tuko to drink?" asked
a waiter of a young lad, who for the first
time, accompanied his father to a public
dinner. Uncertain what to say, and feel
ing sure that he could not do wrong if he
followed his father’s example, he replied,
“I’ll take what father lakes."
The answer reached ids father’s ear, and
instantly the full responsibility of Ids po
sition Hashed upon him. If he said, “ I'll
take ale," us he had always said before,
Ids son would Lake it also, and then/
And the father shuddered, as the history
of seveial young men who, once promis
ing as ids own bright lad, had been ruin
ed by drink, started up in solemn warn
ing before him. {Should his hopes also
be blasted and that open faced, noble lad
become a burden ami curse, as they had
become? Hut for strong drink they
would have been active, earnest, and
prosperous men ; and if It could work
such ruin upon them, was Ids own lad
safe? Quicker than lightning
thoughts passed through ids mind, and
in a moment thedecislon was made. “If
the boy falls, he shall not have me to
blame;" amt then in tones tremulous
with emotion, to the astonishment of
thuSu who knew him, he said, “ Waiter,
I’ll take waterand from that day to
this, strong drink lias been -banished
from that man's table and from that
man’s home.
Thai .young lad, in this brief utterance,
was really the representative of the gene
ration to which he belongs. God lias so
decreed it, ihatlhe father is the highest
authority in the world to his child. Who
dues not know that " My father said so,”
is the end of all controversy with tlie lit’
tie ones around us? Who does not see
the parent’s tones and gait, and manners
reproduced continually in the children,
whose nature Is now “soft us wax to re
ceive an impression, and rigid as marble
to retain it; and who watch with a quick
and imitating eye those who, to them,
are God’s vicegerents?
Would that we could impress upon the
fathers and mothers of this country ihe
solemn fact, that the future character of
the children is being formed by them.—
That if they are trained up in the way
they should go, when they are old they
wilt not depart from it. But if they be
come vain, sensual, and degraded, the
seeds will have been deposited and the
bias given in the early morning of their
lives. If we teach them that strong drink
is a good creature of God, they will be
lieve us ; and when depending upon our
judgment and truth, they shall have 1
taken it, and it shall have shown itself to
bo the devil’s master piece, and have bit
ten, and crushed, and dragge.l them down
to ruin,’we may weep and pray as we
please—the blame wilt bo our own, and
we must not accuse God, or cast reilecllun
upon ttie gospel. We shall have sown to
the tlesh, and of che flesh have reaped
> corruption. God will have visited the
sins of our fathers, upon the children.—
They only “ took what their fathers look.”
If, on the other hand, we banish the
fiend when their young ami trusting
hearts are most open to our t* aching, we
tell them that wine is a mocker, that
strong drink is raging, and warn them
that no serpent is so dangerous, no adder
so much to be dreaded, we shall be co
workers with an all-merciful and wise
God, who to preserve them from taking
it, has sent them into the world with a
loathing of its very taste. Our children
will believe us. They will grow up with
their natural instinct fortified by our iu :
structiou and example. They will be
preserved from the poisonous influence of
the destroyer. There will be a bridgeless
guif between them and the companions
who are most likely to lead them into
the ways of sin. They will be preserved
from habits of extravagance and waste.
They will have no companions but those
who walk lit the ways of (hid; no em
ployment for their spare time but that
which is everlasting and purifying, and
when wo pass to our reward, they will
rise up and call us blessed, for they “took
what their fathers took.”
“ Itehiml (bo Scones.
A colored woman named Elizabeth
Keckley, at one time dressing maid to
Mrs. Lincoln, has published u book with
the above title. From Mrs. Keckley’s
work it appears that at the time of Mr.
Lincoln’s death, bis wife owed debts, of
which he never hud any knowledge, to
the amount of $70,000, of which 27,000
was due to the house of A. T. Stewart &
Co., of New York. After her husband’s
estate had been settled, Mrs. Lincoln's in
come was staled by her to be $1,700 a
year, ami it. was partly with a view to
raise money to cover deficiencies In this
revenue, ami partly in the hope of forc
ing Republican politicians to pay her
debts, and place her in a better situation,
that Mrs. Lincoln undertook to advertise
and exhibit that part of her wardrobe and
jewelry which was so much the subject
of conversation a few mouths ago. L’n
-1 tier the name ol Mrs. Clarke, Mrs Lin
coln went to New York, and took lodg
ings at the St. Denis hotel, wheie Mrs.
Keckley met her. Thence they went
to the Union Place hotel, ami thence to
Earle’s, in Canal street. Looking Into
the Directory, Mrs. Lincoln selected a
dealer in jewelry, to whom she endeav
ored to sell some diamonds, and who
was Induced to lake charge of the exhi
bition and sale of the things she wished
to sell.
Finding that the Republicans would
not furnish the money which was hoped
for, this gentleman undertook to stimu
late them by publications In the World,
but ibis means also proved Ineilectual.
'Phe conclusion was, that the shawls and
dresses were sent back to Mrs. Lincoln,
who hail in the meantime returned- to
Chicago. The charges of the undertak
ing were $BOO, ami the receipts from the
sale of a diamond ring, and some other
articles, $824. With regard to the ac
cusation brought against Mrs. Lincoln
two or three years ago, of carrying off
articles from the White House, which
did not belong to her, Mrs. Keckley
gives it an emphatic denial. The vol
ume contains many anecdotes of inter
est, especially respecting Mr. Lincoln,
winch wo dare say will be read with
pleasure by a considerable number of
persons. We learn from It that the late
Stephen A. Douglas, who was a political
rival of Mr. Lincoln in mature.* life, was
a rival In love at an earliei**period.—
Douglas, was the first offer himself, but
he was not accepted. He persisted :
‘‘ Mary, do you know what you are re
fusing. You have always had an ambi
tion to become the wife of a President of
the United States. Pardon the egotism,
but I fear in refusing my hand to-night
you have thrown away your beat chance
to ever rule in the White House.’’
I “I do not understand you Mr. Doug
lass.”
“Thun I will speak more plainly.”—
You know, Mary, that I nni ambitious
like yourself, ami somethin); seems to
whisper in ray ear, ‘ You will be Presi
dent someiiay.' Depend upon it, I shall
make a stubborn light to win the proud
position.”
“ You have my best wishes, Mr. Doug
las’; still I cannot consent to bo your
wife. I shall'-become Mrs. President or
I am the victim of false prophets, but’ it
will not be as Mrs. Douglas.
Mr. Lincoln proposed in his turn, but
was also rejected. Tills broke his heart.
He told a friend that lie was sick of the
deceitful world, and wished himself out
of it. Ho loved, and had been encour
aged. but only to be refused ; he believed
she was going to marry Douglass, and
if she did, he would blow his own brains
out. He actually fell into’brain fever,
and t in- doctor liie.ii went to see the young
lady, to tell her that she was the cause of
his illness. “She frankly acknowledged
hei folly,saying thalshe only Intended to
test the sincerity of Mr. Lincoln’s loye;
that he was the Idol of her heart, and
that she woultl become his wile." This
produced a cure, in due time the parlies
were married.
ggy Passengers are carried from New
York to Boston, for S 3.
Hates for St&Dcrtising.
ADVEimssMKNTS will be inserted at Ton cent*
per line for the first Insertion, and five cent*
per lino for each subsequent Insertion. Quar
terly,half-yearly, and yearly advcrliseineuU in
serted at a liberal reduction on the above rotes.
Advertisements should bo accompanied by ino
Cash. When sent without any length ol time
specified for publication, they, will bo continued
until ordered out and charged accordingly.
JOB PUINTINO.
Cards, Handbills. Circulars, and eve% oth
er description ol Job aud Cabd Printing execn
ted In the neatest stylo, at low prices.
ODDS AND ENDS.
—lf a man empties his purse Into his
head, uo man can lake it from him.
—A man to speak bis mind, must have
one to speak.
—The largest Income in Milwaukee is
$141,000.
—“Now that you are on my side, 1
hope you will slick to me," as the patient
said to the plaster.
A man being asked for Ills marriage
certllicate showed a big scar about the
size of a shovel —it was satisfactory.
—A wit once asked a peasant what
part he perf-rmed in the great drama of
life. “I mind my own business," was
the reply.
—Young men who complain of uneven
side-walks will find them less uneven by
going home at an earlier hour.
—The hog may not bo thoroughly post
ed in arithmetic, but when you come to
square root ho is there—the hog Is. . ,
—Said an Irish justice to an obstesper
ous prisoner on trial: ** We want nothing
from you but silence, aud d—d little of
that I"
—A western paper says that an indlan
rubber omnibus is about to be invented,
which, when cram full, will hold a couple
more.
•• I say Brown, what a close shaver
Jones is; why he’ii squabble about a
penny;
“ Well, what if he does?” said Brown,
“the less one squabbles about, the bet
ter.”
—Said a conscientious auctioneer, La
dles and gentlemen, there is no sham
about the carpets ; they are genuine car
pets. 1 bought them of old Tapestry
himself.
No,father heian’tadroneeltber,” said
a bright lad ; “ lie’s a philanthropist, and
collects money for the heathen in Africa
to pay for our house and things.”
—A man out west offered bail for a
friend, was asked by the judge if lie had
an incumbrance mi his farm, “ Oh yes,”
said he, “ my old woman.”
—A western paper publishes an account
of a hole on u hill side. The bank, it
says, fell in and left the hole sticking out
some ten feet.
—A western editor says that a girl late
ly sent him word, that if lie didn’t shut
his mouth about bishops, she’d wrap Lini
up in u rag and make a bustle of him.
—Jenks, who was appealed to for aid
for the suflering poor of Crete, replied
that there were poor “cretura” enough
near home to claim all the aid that In*
could afford to give.
• —A gentleman rode up to n public house
hi the country, and asked, “ who is the
master of the house?” “ X am, sir,” re
plied the landlord, “my wife has been
dead about three weeks.”
—Little Frank was taught that every
one was made of the dust. One day he
was watching the dust in the street as the
wind was whirling it in eddies. “ What
are you thinking ol ?” asked his mother.
“Oh,” said Frank, with-serious face. “X
thought that the dust looked as though
there was going to be another little
boy.”
—“ Why don’t you get married?” said
a young lady the other day to a bachelor
friend. “1 have been trying for the last
ten years to find some one who would be
silly enough to have me,” was the reply.
“ I guess you haven’t been up our way.”
she smilingly said.
—“ Mother,” exclaimed an afTectioimu
young lady Just borne from boarding
school, “ mother, here Is'u grumatlcul er
ror in the B.ble J” “ Law, sakes," repli
ed the old lady adjusting her spectacles,
“ kill it! kill it right off, for it’s the pes
ky thing that’s been eating up the book
marks.”
—Two countrymen seeing a naturalist
in the field collecting insects, thus spoke
of him:
“ Vol’s that ’ere gemman ?”
“ Vy, he’s a naturalist.”
“ Vol’s that?”
“ Vy, von who catches gnats, to be
sure.”
Wayward Wit.—lt is a very easy
thing lor a man to be wise for other peo
ple.
The flower-girls can always raise the
wind when the flowers blow. -
The greatest miracle ever wrought by
love is the reformation of u coquette.
Enjoy your own life without comparing
it will) that of amillier.
If you shoot a duck, you may, by Jump
ing in the river after it get two.
Talent ami virtue are less frequently
hereditary limn the gout.
Love is most int.-llgible when it is uu
able to express itself in words.
A Lawyer’s Appeal.—The tlunulei
rolled, the moon rolled, the stars wink
ed, the sky was a complete web—gentle
men of the jury—of thirling darkness on
that night; and yet this T ere man did,
with malice aforethought, steal forth in
ter the quiet shades of u lonely farmer’s
bouse, ami then, maliciously pisened his
briudle yellow dog. Convict him, and
the prayers of a nation are yours!
—The Columbus Journal tells the fol
lowing of General Sherman : “ At one ol
the Connecticut towns, where he wits
brought out on the platform to be seen
by lellow-citizens, just before the train
left he observed a tall, awkard-looking
fellow approaching the curs, elbowing
the crowd in the most excited manner,
and bellowing, ‘Sherman! Sherman!
don’t you know me?' The General in
timated Umt be did not. at the moment,
recognize his questioner as a familiar ac
quaintance. ‘Don’t you remember,
down in Georgia, stopping one day on
the march where there was a crowd of
fellows looking on at a chicken light?’—
The General laughed. Yes, he did re
member. ‘ Well, 1 said the fellow with a
grin of ineffable satisfaction and modest
triumph, that was my rooster that whip
ped !’ ”
—A Yankee, having told an English
man that lie shot, on one particular oc
casion, nine hundred and ninety-nine
snipes, Ids interlocutor asked him why
he didn’t make it a thousand at once.
“ No,” said lie; ” not likely I’m going
to tell a lie for one snipe.”
i-Old Professor S was one of the in
structorsof Dartmouth College,years ago,
and was withal, about as lilmit and
straight-forward a specimen of humanity
as ever walked, being considered a little
crabbed by intimates. One day in early
summer he was taking his usual stroll
about the village, keeping his “ eye out”
for any "fast" student who might lie
“ oil duty,” when he met Mr. Page, a
sturdy farmer from East Hanover, with
u load of wood, trudging along the road
barefooted and hatless; but lie was aline
representative of “ nature’s noblemen.'
“Hallo! Mr. Page,” growled the Pro
fessor, “I should like to know if all the
peopie of Hanover go barefooted I”
“Part on ’em do, and the rest on ’em
mind their own business,” was the rath
er settling reply.
—Some sermons are like a bright artil
lery piece for a model; all linislied, bur
nished, shining j everybody says, “what
a splendid piece of ordnance!” people
stand and look in its mouth,ami measure
its breach, and lift the ball it can carry,
ami admire it without fear, for there is no
power in it. ■ It Is not meant to shoot
any person, hut to attract admiration as
a iinisited piece of ordnance. An elabo
rate model sermon,''without a prayer, is a
gun that a man might put ids ear to the
muzzle without fear. And some sermons
are like the artillery pieces, that are
wheeled into line in a sliatii light, and
fired witli blank cartridges. There must
be both powder and ball if execution is to
be done. Above all tilings, there must
be prayer. There must be prayer on fire.