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. BRATTON & KENNEDY. __ CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, JULY 5,1866. YOL. 53
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These Troches not only give immediate relief
m are sure to effect a permanent cure In Dys
pepsia. They are not a purgative, and therefore
1 ‘♦ use does not create a necessity for the'hn
eitual use of Carthatlcs. They cause no sickness
)l the stomach or griping of the bowels, and are
perfectly harmless to the most delicate.
/hey will Immediately correct a sour Stomach,
nT re flatulence. Heartburn, Sickness or Pain in
«|e stomach, Costiveness, Belching of Wind,
V, vor Complaint. Headache, and In fact all those
disagreeable ana dangerous symptoms of this
disease, which unfit one for the pleasures and
duties of life.
.Weak and delicate persons who have been in
"y the use of powerful stimulants and pur
gatives, will find them a mild, safe and sure res
wer of the digestive organs to their, original
strength and vigor.
•rrepared solely by the proprietors,
S, J. VANDERSLOOT- & CO.,
j. t Chemists, 718 Market Street, Phil’a.
Druggist Carlisle, Cumberland
pr aQ ty, Pa., sole agent lor Cumberland County,
A UCTXQN of DRY GOODS and CAR
f.™ 3 . In Eby’s STons Room, every eveulng,
uu the entire stock la disposed of.
B. MCCARTNEY,
Auctioneer,.
June u,
(Kitg Etibertiscments.
£WIS LADOMtrs,
/diamond DEALER & JEWELER^
II WATCHES, JEWEERT A SILTER WARE, II
VWATOHESatid JEWELEY
Ohnstwit St.PWla^s^
UAS ON HAND
A LARGE & SPLENDID ASSORTMENT OF
DIAMOND JEWELRY OF ALL
KINDS;
« SUCH AS
RINGS, PINS, STUDS, DIAMOND SETS, &C„
AISO, ON HAND A XjARGE ASSORTMENT OF
AMERICAN, SWIB3 & ENGLISH WATCHES,
JtY ASSORTMENT OF JEWT2LRY IS
COMPLETE IN ALL RESPECTS,
Embracing Articles of the Highest Cost,
AS ALSO,
Articles of Comparatively Small Value.
A VERY LARGE STOCK OF
PLAIN RINGS ON HAND.
SILVERWARE OF ALL KINDS,
ALSO FANCY SILVERWARE
SUITABLE FOB BRIDAL
PRESENTS.
ENGAGEMENT AND "WEDDING KINGS ALWAYS ON
* HAND,
Particulcr A Mention Paid to Repairing Watches,
Diamonds and.nl! other.Procious Stones
BOUGHT FOR CASH,
AS ALSO,
OLD GOLD AND SILVER
COUNTRY TRADE SODICITED.
Fob. I, 1800 —ly. ’ '
JgJ &H. T. ANTHONY & CO., •
Manufacturers of Photographic Materials
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL,
501 BROADWAY NEW YORK.
In addition to our main business of PHOTOs
GRAPHIC MATERIALS, we are lieadqunrter
for the following, viz:
Stereoscopes and Stereoscopic Views,
Of these we have an immense assortment, In
cluding
VIEWS OP THE WAR,
Obtained at great expense and forming a com
plete
Photographic HUtory of the Great Union Contest,
Bull Run,. Dutch Gap,
Yorktowii, Pontoon Trains,
Gettysburg, Hanover Junction,
Fair Oaks, Lookout Mountain,
Savage Station, Chickahomlny,
Fredericksburg, City Point,
Fairfax, Nashville, .
Richmond, Petersburg,
Deep Bottom, Belle Plain,
Monitors, . Chattanooga,
Fort Morgan, Atlanta, - -
Charleston, Mobile,
Florida, Strawberry Plains,
&c., Ac., dec.
American and Foreign Cities and Landscapes,
Groups, Statuary, &c., &c. Also, Revolving Ster
eoscopes, for public or private exhibition. Our
Catalogue will be sent to any address on receipt
of Stamp.
PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS,
Wo were the first to introduce these into the
United States and we manufacture immense
quantities in great variety, ranging in price from
50 cents to 850. Our ALBUMS have the reputa
tion of being superior in beauty and durability
to any other. They will be sent by mall, Free,
on receipt of price.
FINE ALBUMS MADE TO ORDER.
The Trade will find our Albums the most Sale
able they can buy. '
CARD PHOTOGRAPHS. .
Our Catalogue now embraces over Five Thou
sand different subjects (to which additions are
continually being made) of Eminent Americans,
&c., viz: about
100 Mag-Gens., 100 Lieut. Cols., 050 Statesmen,
100 Brig. “ 250 other Officers, 100 Divines,
375 Colonels, 75 Navy Ollicers, 135 Authors,
40 Artists, 125 Stage, 60 Prominent
Women, 3,000 Copies of Works of Art,
Including reproductions of the most celebrated
Engravings, Paintings, Statues, &c. Catalogues
sent on receipt of Stamp. An order for One Doz
en Pictures from our Catalogue, will be filled on
receipt of §l.BO, and sent by mall, free.
Photographers and others ordering goods C. O.
D., will please remit twenty-five per, cent, of the
amount with their order.
isp-The prices and quality of our goods cannot
fall to satisly.
May 17,1800.—3 m
REMINGTON & SONS,
MANUFACTURERS OF
REVO LYER S , RIFLES.
' M XJSK E T/S AND CARBIN S,
For tpe United States Service. Also,
POCKET AND BELT REVOLVERS,
REPEATING PISTOLS,
RIFLE CANES REVOLVING RIFLES,
Rifle and Shot Gun Barrels, and Gun Materials,
sold by Gun Dealers and the Trade generally.
In these days of Housebreaking and Robbery, evei'y
House, Store, Bank, and office, should have one of
REMINGTON’S REVOLVERS.
Parties desiring to avail themselves of the late
Improvements in Pistols, and superior workman
ship and form, will find all comblnodin the New
REMINGTON REVOLVERS.
Circulars containing cuts cfiid description of our
Arms will bo furnished upon application. .
E. REMINGTON & SONB. lllon, N. Y.
Moore & Nichols, Agents.
No. 40 Courtland St., New York.
April 12,180(1 —6m.
Great closing-out sale
op*.:
GOLD AND SILVER. WATCHES.
Owing to the great decline in gold and general
depression of business, the Geneva Manufactur
ing Campauy are desirous of disposing of their
stock of Watches Immediately, for cash, and as
their Agents, we have concluded to adopt the av
erage plan, and have put the price at the low fig
ure of 812 each, thus bringing it within the reach
of all to obtain a valuable time-piece.
All the following SPLENDID WATCHES to be
sold at
DOLLARS EACH :
150 Gold Hunting Case Chrbuom,
Watches. §l5O to §3OO each
150 Gold Hunting Case Duplex
Watches, , 125 to 200 each
200 Gold Hunting Case Pat. Lev.
Watches, 100 to 175 each
200 Gold Hunting Cose Lopine
• Watches, 75 to 150 each
300 Gold Plated on SterllngSil
• ver Cases Patent Lever Watches, 50 to 100 each
250 Ladles' Gold Hunting Case
Watches, » 100 to 120 each
300 Ladies’ Gold and Enamelled
Watches, 76 to 150 each
250 Ladies’ Gold Patent Lover
Watches, 75 to 125 each
800 Ladles' Gold Lepine Watches, 50 to 100 each
400 Solid Silver Case Duplex
Watches, 40 to 100 each
400 Solid Silver Case Pat. Lev.
Watches,
400 Solid Silver Case Lever
Watches, 30 to <5O each
500 Solid Silver Case Leplne
Watches, 25 to 75 each
GOO Gold Composite Hunt. Case
Watches, 25 to 50 each
500 Gold Composite Leplne -
Watches, 20 to 50 each
600 Sliver Lever Watches, 25 to 75 each
400 Silver Leplne Watches. 25 to GO each
. All the above splendid watches will be sold for
$l2 each. We have adopted the following plan :
Certificates describing each Watch and its val
ue are prepared and placed in sealed envelopes.
These Certificates can be obtained at our oillce,
and the holder will be entitled to the Watch it
calls for, upon payment of the 12 Hollars and re
turn of the Certificate,
This is not a lottery, but a bona fide sale, and any
one wishing to avail themselves of this opportu
nity, should send at once and procure a certifi
cate, and as there are no blanks every one must
get a Watch at half the usual price at least, and
many will get a splendid Gold Watch for the tri
lling sum of $l2.
Certificates sent by mall to any address for 50
cents each. Five will be sent for $2. fifteen for
$5. Thirty-five for $lO. When the goods are or
dered, the Certificate must bo returned with the
money, and orders will be promptly filled.
Address,
GILLESPIE, MAXSON & CO.,
so Beeknum Street, Hew York.
Juno li, 1800—lm,;
REMOVAL!
BARGAINS IN CLOTHING!
Henry g. Ritter would announce to the public
that no has removetl^s
CIOTEI^aAND'
GENTS’ FURNISHING STORE
to his now Store-Room, on West Main Street,
three doors west of the First National Bank. Car
lisle, where he is fully prepared to
■MAKE WORK TO 012 DEB
at short notice and in the best and most fashiona
ble style. Ho has recently returned from the city
with a very large and carefully selected lot of
Goods, such as
CLOTHS,
CASSIMERES.
VESTINGS, &c.,
which ho is prepared ttrsolhat greatly reduced
rates. Ho will always keep oh baud
READY-MADE CLOTHING
of tlio best quality and style, and warranted to
bo as represented. Call and examine for your
selves and bo convinced. His stock of
GENTLEMEN'S FURNISHING GOODS
has been selected with care, and embraces
SHIRTS,
DRAWERS,
COLLARS,
STOCKINGS,
• I' mo and Common
GLOVES,
NECKTIES,
SUSIENEEES,
HA NDKEIt CHIEFS,
and all articles In that line.
Our custom department now contains the lar
gest assortment of ail the Fashionable New Fab
rics lor our patrons to select fronu
GOODS SOLD BY THE YAED OB PIECE.
Call and examine before purchasing elsewhere.
We are always ready to show our Goods to old
and new customers.
Don’t forgot the Stand, 'West High Street,
In the room iatcly bccupiod by-K. E. Shaplcy_s.
Jewelry Store. .
April 20. 1800—ly
QLO THING! CLOTHING!!
MV MOTTO
Quick Sales ami Small Profits,”
Having just returned from the Eastern cities
with an entirely now smelt of Cloths, CassUnores,
Vestings, and gentlemen's I'urnlslung goods of
every variety, tuo subscriber will continue the
CLOTIITNU BUSINESS
In all Us various branches, at the old stand of
Abraham Lahman, on North Hanover Street,
next door to shroiner’s Hotel, and n few doors
north of the Carlisle Deposit Bunk.
MADE UP CLOTHING
constantly on hand.
COATS,
. PANTS and
Shirts, white & gray linen, Stockings,
Undershirts, Neckties,
Collars, Handkerchiefs,
Drawers, Suspenders, &c.
Also, the best of French Cloths and Cassimeres,
in every variety. He has engaged the services of
an experienced cutter, ana especial attention
will be paid to putting up customer work in the
latest and most fashionable styles.
JOHN TREIBLER.
April 19,18 G
QLOTHING ! CLOTHING!! -
GREAT FALL IN PRICES.
The undersigned is now receiving his complete
assortment of
- SPRING AND SUMMER GOODS,
which for style, beauty and price, cannot bo ex
celled.
His stock consists in part of fine Black and Blue
French and English Cloths, Extra Heavy Doe
skin, three cut and
FANCY CASSI MERES,
Also, a largo variety of Cassluets and Tweeds.
Kentucky Jeans, and Cottonnudes, Linens, and
Linen Drillings, in great variety. Also a great
assortment oi
READY MADE CLOTHING.
of every stylo and quality, White Linen and
Woolen Blurts, Bummer Drawers, &c. Constant
ly on hand a large assortment of Ties, Collars,
Hosiery and Gloves, Linen, Bilks and Cotton
Handkerchiefs.
Also a full assortment of Trunks, Carpet Bags
and Valises, of every size.
Clothing made to order at the shortest notice.
Call and examine the slock.
Don’t forget the stand—BoutU Hanover Street,
adjoining Miller «& Bowers’ Hardware Store, Car
lisle.
May 10,1800,
|Jaintj3, &c.
Miller & bowers,
SUCCESSORS TO
LEWIS F. LYNE,
North Hanover Street, Carlisle, la
Dealers In American, English and German
HARDWARE, ■
Cutlery,
Baadlery,
Coach Trimmings, '
Shoo Findings,
Morocco and Lining Skins,
• Lasts,
Boot Trees
and Shoemaker Tools
of every description. Solid and Brass Box Vices,
Bellows, Files, Rasps, Horse Shoes, Horse Shoe
Nails, Bar and Roiled Iron of all sizes,
HAMES AND TRACES,
Carriage Springs, Axles, Spokes, Fellows, Hubs,
&c., &c. Saws of every variety, Carpenters’ Tools
and Building Material, Table and Pocket Cutlery,
Plated Forks and Spoons, with an extensive as
sortment of Hardware of all kinds and of the best
manufacture, which will be sold wholesale or re
tail at the lowest prices. We are malting great
improvements lu our already heavy stock oi
goods, and invite all persons in want of Hard
ware of every description to giyo us a call and wo
are confident you will be well paid for your trou
ble. *
Hoping that by strict attention to business and’
a disposition to„pleasc ail"wo will bo able .to
maintain the reputation of the old stand.
DULLER & BOWERS.
Dec, I,IBGo.
I^ABDWARE.-
auo subscriber has just returned, from the
Eastern Cities with the largest, cheapest, and
best selected assortment of Hardware, ever otter
ed in this county. Everything kept in a large
wholesale and retail Hardware store, can be had
a little lower than at any other house in the
county, at the cheap hardware store of the sub
scriber.
• Fifty tons nails and spikes just received of the
very best makes, and all warranted. Country
merchants supplied with Nalls at manufacturers’
prices.
* Six hundred pair Trace Chains of all kinds, with
a large assortment of
BUTT CHAINS,
HALTER CHAINS,
BREAST DO..
K" FIFTH CHAINS,.
LOG CHAINS,
TONGUE CHAINS,
COW CHAINS, &c.
HAMES.
Three hundred and fifty pair of Hamcs of all
kinds just received. Common pattern, London
pattern, Elizabethtown pattern with and without
patent fastenings, cheaper than over.
PAINTS AND OILS.
.35 to 76 each
Ten tons White Lead, 1,000 gallons Oil just re
ceived, with a large assortment of Varnishes. Tur
pentine, Japan, Patty, Litharage, Whiting,
Glue, Shellac, Paint Brushes, Fire-proof Paint,
Florence White, White Zinc, Colored Zinc, Red
Lead, Lard Oil, Boiled Oil, Sperm Oil, Fish Oil,
&c. Colors of every description, dry and in oil, in
cans and tubs.
FARM BELLS.
Jus£ received the largest, cheapest, and best
assortment of Farm Bells In the county. Green
castle Metal and Bell Metal, warranted not to
crack.
Twenty-five kegs Dupont Rock and Rifle Pow
der, with a largo assortment of Safety Fuse, Picks,
Crowbars, Stone Drills, Stone Sledges, Stone
Hammers, <fec.
PUMPS AND CEMENT.
Fifty barrels of Cement, with a very large as
sortment of Chain and Iron Pumps of all kinds,
cheaper than over, at the hardware store of
HENRY SAXTON. .
Dec. J, m.
11. S. RITTER.
VESTS,
in every style and variety.
ISAAC LIVINGSTON.
'NAILS AND SPIKES.
POW D E R
WOULDN’T TOtl LIKE TO KNOW?
liV JOHN 0. SAXE.
I known girl with teeth of pearl,
And shoulders white ns snow;
She lives—ah, well,
I must not toll—
Wouldn’t you like to know?
Her sunny hair Is wondrous fair,
And wavy la Its How;
"Who mndo it less
One little tress,
Wouldn’t yon like to know?
Her eyes are blue, (celestial hue!)
Ami dazzling in their glow;
On whom they beam
With molting gleam—
Wouldn’t you like to know ?
Her Ups aro red, and finely wed,
Like roses ere they blow;
-What lover sips
Those dewy lips—
Wouldn’t you like to know ?
Her fingers aro like miles fair,
When JUlles fairest grow;
Whoso hand they press
With fond caress—
Wouldn’t you like to know ?
Her foot is small, and hatha full
Like snowflakes on the snow;
And whore she goes.
Beneath the rose—
Wouldn't you like to know ?
She has a name, the sweetest name
That language can bestow;
’Twould break the spell
If I should toll—
Wouldn’t you like to know?
«OOI) SHOT.
“Bill, don’t you know that dad don’t
allow you to buy shot?” asked a young
urchin of a brother who was somewhat
his senior, who was making a purchase
of that article.
You just never mind me. I’d thank
you to attend to your own Business, Blis
ter Bob. I don’t care what dad allows :
I’ll buy what I please.”
Little boy slightly agitated. “ I’m go
ing to tell dad,” rushed out of the store
and runs down street, and bounces into
the room where the old man was quietly
reading the morning paper.
“Bad, dad, Bill went and got shot.”
“ Good heavens!” cried the old man.
dropping the paper'in consternation, and
bolting for the door. “ Where is he ?”
“ Bown to Thompson’s store,” responds
Bob.
In his excitement the old man forgot
to remove his “ reading specks,” and in
going down the steps misjudges the dis
tance to the pavement, steps off too soon,
and conies sprawling on all fours.
He .gathers himself up, and starts for
the store. The pavement appears to be
about tlie level of his knees, consequent
ly in his violent endeavors to keep it un
der him, he cut a very ludicrous figure,
and drew from the astonished by-staud
ers such a roar as was never bestowed up
on a single individual since the world be
gan.
“ Say, there, old Lift Up, whore aro
you going; what train do you want to
catch ?” cries one.
“What will you take to give us a jig ?”
inquires another.
“ Where’d you learn that step?” asks
a third; and thus he is assailed on every
side. • .
But ho hoars not the scofls and sneers
of any one; he cares for nothing—nothing
but William.
At length his tedious march is brought
to a close by arriving at the store where
Bill is. stretched out, taking it easy. The
old man, supposing him badly hurt rush
ing up to him frantically, exclaimed :
‘‘Oh, William! William! where are
you wounded ?”
“What’s the matter, dad? Ye going
crazy?” exclaims Bill, rising on his el
bow, and casting a look of astonishment
at the old man.
“ Why, Robert said you’d got shot!”
"So I did—l got half a pound of the
best duck shot in the store.”
The old man left.amid noise enough
to drown a thunder clap. As might be
supposed, Bob got the lamming and Bill
A Government Inspector and his
Partner. —Government Inspector, visits
iug a lunatic asylum, saw the medical
superintendent and said :
“ I don’t wish to go over the asylum in
the usual way, put to mingle with the
patients as if I were an officer, a surgeon,
or even one of themselves. By so doing
I shall be better enabled to judge their
intellectual state, ana of their progress in
the direction of sanity.”
“ With pleasure,” said the doctor ; “ it
is Saturday, and we usually have a dance
on Saturday night. If you go to the ball
room, as we call it, you will see them dan
cing and talking without reserve.”
“ Would it be objectionable if I danced
with them,” asked the official.
“Not at all,” was the reply.
The official walked into the ball-room,
and selecting the prettiest girl for a part
ner, was soon keeping up a very anima
ted conversation with her. In the course
of the evening he said to the doctor:
“Do you know that girl in the white
dress with the blue spots is a very curious
case! I've been talking to her, and I
cannot for the life and soul of me discov
er in what direction her mental malady
lies. Of course. I saw at once she was
mad—saw it in the odd look of her eyes.
She kept looking at me so oddly. Task
ed her if she did not think she was the
Queen of England, or whether she had
not been robbed of a large fortune by the
volunteer movement, or jilted by the
Prince of Wales, and tried to find out the
cause of her iaunncy, but I couldn’t; she
was too artful.”
“ Very likely,” answered the doctor;
“ you see she is not a patient, she is one
of the house-maids, and as sane as you
are.”
Meantime, the pretty housemaid went
to all her fellow servants and said:
“Have you seen the new patient?—
He’s been dancing with me. A fine tall
man with beautiful whiskers! but as mad
as a March hare. He asked me if I
wasn’t the Queen of England;.if a volun
teer hadn’t robbed me of a large fortune;
and whether the Prince of Wales didn’t
want to marry me. He is mad—lsn’t it a
pity? Such a fine young man !”
Hibernian Toasts. —Two gallant sons
of Erin, being just discharged from ser
vice were rejoicing oVer the event, when
one, who felt all the glory of his own no
ble race, suddenly raised his pot above
his head, and said:
. 1 Arrau, Mike, hero's to the gallant old
69th—the last in the field, and the first to
leave it.'
‘Tut, tut, man,’ said Mike; ‘ye don’t
mane that.’
‘ Don’t mane it, is it ? Then what do I
mane ?’
‘ You mane,’ said Mike, and he raised
his glass high, and looked lovingly at it,
,‘ Here’s to the gallant 69th, equal to
none ?’ And so they drank.
fig?” When is a sailor most like a thief?
When he takes a messmate’s watch.
Inclined to be tinni’rel.soinc.
There was once a Uttle, slim built fei
low, rich as a Jew, riding along a high
way in the State of Georgia, when he
overtook a man driving a drove of hogs,
by the help of a big, raw boned, six foot
two specimen of humanity. Stopping
before the last named individual, lie ac
cost.! (I him:
li I say, aro those your hogs?”
u No sir; I am at work by the month.
“What pay might you be getting, my
friend?”
“ Ten dollars a month and whiskey
thrown in,” was the reply.
• liero! I'm a w,oak, little,
inoffensive man, and people, are apt to
impose upon me, d’ye see? Now, I’ll
give you twenty-live dollars a month to
ride along with mo and protect me,”
said Mr. Gardner. “But” he" added,
“how might you be on a light?”
“ Never was licked in my life,” rejoined
the six footer. ■
‘Just the man I want. It is a bar
gain ?” queried Gardner.
Six footer ruminated.
“Twenty-live dollars ;* double wages,
nothing to do but ride around and smash.’
a fellow’s mug occasionally when he is
sassy.”
They rode along, till just at night they
reached the village inn. Gardner imme
diately singled out the biggest follow in
the room, and picked a fuss with him.—
After considerable promiscuous jawing.
Gardner turned to his lighting friend and
intimated that the whipping of that man
had become a sad necessity. Six footer
peeled, went in, and come out first best.
The second night at another hotel, the
same scene was re-enacted. Gardner get
ting in a row with the biggest man in
the place, and six footer doing the light
ing.
At last, on the third day they came to
a ferry kept by a huge, double fisted man,
Who had never been licked in his life.—
While crossing the river, Gardner, as
usual, began to find fault and “ blow.”—
The ferryman naturally got mad, threw
things around, and told his opinion of
their kind. Gardner then turned to his
friend and broke the intelligence to him
“ that he was sorry, but it was absolutely
necessary to thrash the ferryman.”
Six footer nodded his head but said
nothing. It was plainly to be seen that
ho did not rol tab. tho job by tho way. Hu
shrugged his shoulders, but there was no
help for it. So, when they reached the
shore, both stripped and at it they went.
Up and down the bank, over the sand in
to the water, they fought, scratched, bit
and rolled, till at the end of an hour tho
ferryman gave in. Six footer was trium
phant, but it had been rough work. Go
ing up to his employer, he scratched his
head for a moment, and then broke forth:
“Look here, Mr. Gardner, your salary
sets mighty well —but—l’m—of—the—
opinion—that your inclined to be quar
relsome. Here, I’ve only'been with you
three days, and I’ve licked tho three big
gest men in the country! I think the
Arm had better dissolve : for you see, Mr.
Gardner, I’m afraid you’re Inclined to bo
quarrelsome, and reckon I’ll draw.” ,
Fortress Monroe and Its Projec
tor. —Just before the daptulation of Uhl,
Napoleon sent Captain Bernard, a young
oflieer of engineers, on an important re
connoitering expedition. With great
skill and intrepidity he prosecuted his
mission, advancing almost to Vienna.—
On his return Napoleon personally ex
amined him, and was much pleased with
his answers. Among other things he re
marked that it would be of great advan
tage to direct the army upon Vienna,
passing by fortified places, and that once
master of the capital, the,Emperor might
dictate laws for tho whole Austrian mon
archy. This was taking too great a lib
erty. Najioleon severely replied, “ You
are very presumptuous I a young officer to
pretend to trace out a campaign for me!
Go and await my orders.” So soon as
tho young man had retired Napoleon
turned to Oen. lla-pp and.said,.” There is
a man of merit; he has observed correct
ly ; I shall not expose him to the risk of
being shot; I shall have occasion for him
by and by.” Thisyoungman finally be
came an aid to Napoleon, and one of the
most distinguished engineers in the world.
It was he who planned Fortress Monroe
at Old Point Comfort. Through the in
fluences of Mr. Galatin, himself a foreign
er, Gen. Bernard was appointed at the
head of the Board of Commisioners on
Sea-Coast Defences, and with him were
associated Commodores Lewis Warring
ton, and J. D. Elliott, Chief Engineer J.
G. Swift, Colonel of Engineers, W. K.
Armistead, and Major of Engineers, W.
K’Kee. Fresh from the grand army of
Napoleon, General Bernard had the most
extravagant ideas of military works, and
planned his fortifications to be garrisoned,
not by hundreds and thousands, but by
tens and hundreds of thousands. He
had a notion that this country, like that
of his native country depended, in a
great measure, upon the impregnability
and capacity of her lines of fortifications.
He had not yet learned that tho true
strength of a laud of liberty lies in the
stout hearts and strong arms of her brave
ycoraanary. Under these circumstances
was old Fortress Monroe planned and
constructed, with her massive strength
and enormous proportions.
No Balm. —Elde’r T- having occa
sion to preach in the town of Gilead, chose
what he fancied the appropriate text, ‘ls
there no balm in Gilead ? Is there no phy
sician there.” He tells the result:
It happened that among my hearers
was an old negro who had lived a great
many years in the family of the village
doctor, and nothing could rile the old fel
low so quick as the mere suggestion that
the doctor didn’t know anything. Every
time that I repeated the text I noticed
the old darkey manifested much emotion,
which I attributed to the peculiar ferven
cy of the African temperament; but
warming with tho subject, I repeated the
text with unusual pathos. l ls there no
balm in Gilead, and is there no physic
ian there?’ Old Pomp could stand it no
longer; and springing to his feet, he said :
‘Don’t know nuffin ’bout tho balm, mas
sa, but clere’s jea’ good doctor here as dero
is in de world.’
A Prayer. —ln the State of Ohio (here
resided a family, consisting of lin old man
of the name of Beaver, and his three sons,
all of whom are hard “ pets” who had
often laughed to scorn the advice and en
treaties of a pious though very eccentric
minister, who resided in the same town.
It happened one of the hoys was bitten
by a rattlesnake, and was expected to die,
when the minister was Sent for in great
haste. On his arrival he found the young
man very penitent and anxious to be
prayed for. The minister, calling on
the family, knelt down, and prayed in
this wise“ O Lord ! wo thank Thee for
rattlesnakes. We thank Thee because a
rattlesnake has hit Jim. We pray Thee,
send a rattlesnake to bite John ; send one
to bite Bill; send one to bite Sam; and,
O Lord! send the biggest kind of rattle
snake to bite the old man ; for nothing
but rattlesnakes will '.ever bring Thy
Beaver family to repentance.
jjgy A profound Observer remarks :
“ I have often observed at public enter
tainments that where there is anything
to be seen, and overy-body wants par
ticularly to see it, everybody immediately
stands up, and prevents anybody from
seeing anything.’’
* initial
«IIAX» ( AJIPAHIN SPEECH FOR THE
WOOLLY-HEADS.
Rlinr, Oli Wlinr'M <lc Bnro Now T
Tho Bcllefonte Watchman furnishes in
advance, a speech for the negro advocates
in the coming campaign which will, no
doubt, ho a bombshell in the camps of the
Johnsonites, and. a soatterer of the “ig
norant,” “nasty" “Copperheads” who
praised the President for vetoing tho Ne
groes Bureau Bill. Here it is in full:
My Bei.ubed Friends.—De tex on dis
’stressin ’casion am dese stirrin and heart
bustiu obsenvasions:
Wbar's do Freedman's liurcmi now!
My Culled ’Sciplcsßoyd, de Ameri
can ob African ’scent, am heah befoah de
house ob extreme discouragement. De
culled popylashun has been skewished
by Mr. Johnsing whoso front name am
Ander. His ve’oes have stepped on to
our aspiration and do Freedman’s Buro
am clean done gone an busted foreber.—
De kloven huff ob de indiwidual which
his last cognomen is Johnsing, hab made
distinkly visible to do unkivered obtics
ob de public. Dat is to say—you can see
it wid the naked eye, widout de aid ob a
xelyseopo. He is de Moses Iscarot ob
dese degenerated days. My frenz, who’s
dis .7 ohnsing ? say ? He was nullin but a
tailor, yes, gemmen and folks, he came
from a low straxum, and his parunta on
his father’s side was old Johnsing, and,
“ Wlmr'K de Fi’oculman’s Buro now?”
Dis is do worry unkindest cut ob all, as
Spokeshavo say. Dis is do midnight ob
do mid winter ob our discontent.
De smashing ob do Buro, I consider do
most greatest and exceedingist mightiest
kalamity ob dis ago! lam a orator, I
acknowledge,--but whar’s do-language to
do justice to do extreme proportion ob de
prodigiousness ob do magnitude ob do
enormousness ob de universal amplitude
ob do—de
“ Wlutr's de Buro„uow
My frenz, You’ll excuse de wraf and in
dignashun dat's in do veins ob do honor
able and eloquent speaker who is now
spoakin sitch burniu eloquence in your
midst—dat’s to say me. But I cannot
distrain de powerful ideas .which am
leapin and wrestlin into my brain. Do
krisis has cum. Do sister of de krisisand
all their sisters have arriv, and de bery
earth quakes, de stars omit Hashes ob in
dignant thunder, de bery uniwerse trem
bles, and boundless ’mensity echoes back
de dire question,
Wlmr’s de Buro now?”
My hearers. De young man eloquent
must rest here, he has fought de good file,
but he’s gone in. Look at dese tattered
garments, all worn to shreds in do noble
cause ob de Freedman’s Buro which John
sing trumped into wid de—as I may say,
de stern heel ob despotism! Wherefore
dis excitement, you may ask. De answer:
am here. Overpowered sentimentally,
overburdened with other hefty grief!—
My day is run, my occapashun gone, for
de text says:
“ What's de Buro now ?”
But my followers, ncber gib up de ship.
Boyd will ueber fail. When de earth
quake shall have ceased, when de storm
shall hab spent its fury, and de tempest
hushed to zephyrs. When de floodsshall
hab retreated and do giant ob terror, dis
may and distraction hab returned to do
dim caverns ob dere abode, dere in the
midst ob do ruin shall bo seen dis hum
mel indiwidual, umbrel in han, hat un
der de handkerchief in do rear pocket ob
de narrative ob his swaller-tailed coat,
yellin eloquence to de natives, dis tex,
“ Whnr’s do Buro now?”
Brudder Delaun Gray will proceed to
collect de revenue in de usual way, while
do congregation jines in his highly edi
fying hyinn-
Oh I giggle, goggle Junrpacross,
Dat am berry good,
Den tils briuldcr steal a hoss,
And ride him to do woods!
Jiggle, goggle, possum Ait,
flop do dooden dow t
Tse got a lovely Thomas cat,
O ! wliar’s do liuro now.
WhUe many may think that the
speech will not bo very appropriate for
campaign purposes, yet it will be found
tocontain justaboutaa weighty arguments
as abolition orators generally use.
ISEKCIIER AND IMS AUCTIONS.
Once a year the Brooklyn searchers af
ter things spiritual attend the great “ cheap
Jack” institution presided over by one
Henry, whose other name is Ward Beech
er, and vie with each other in bidding
for front seats, side seats, cushioned seals
and standing places in the Plymouth
Theatre. A poor man has no show of
getting a ticket for glory from the great
Beecher. Unlike Christ, there is a price,
and a d—iekens of a price to his Christi
anity 1 It costs money to get to heaven
via Brooklyn. Pool' folks—that is, poor
white folks —never will have their heav
enly baggage checked from Beecher’s sta
tion. Homespun, sheep grey and plain
calico are not the apparel for Brooklyn.—
Beecher has ten thousand dollars a year
fur conducting his opera. It is the only
theatre or nigger snow in the country
which pays no license, and stock therein
must pay a large earthly, if not so much
of a kingdom-come dividend.
The seats are sold there each year to
the highest bidder, and the chief bidders
are those who have no time to pray and
do their worship by contract or by past-:
ing a copy of the Lord's Prayer on their
headboard, writing “ them’s my senii-'
ments" underneath, and, after a nod in’
that direction, pop into bed as a frog goes
into a pond when a boy slings rocks at
the head of the watery ‘‘greenback.”
The auctioneer arrives, fresh from the
Club Booms, and at once begins.
“ How ladies and gents, what am I of
fered for choice of pews in this temple of
Christianity? Talk fust, for time is cash.
Choice of news, remember. Select which
one you please. Ain I offered two thou
sand —nineteen 'hundred—eighteen hun
dred-seventeen hundred dollars a year
for the choice of pews to hear the god
like Beecher once a week for fifty-two
weeks? Remember, gents, that he spouts
ultimate and penultimate religion. That
he discourses on Bible, nigger, the twelve
apostles, including old John Brown,
statesmanship, baptism, repentance, loy
alty—that he denounces the devil, cop
perheadism, poverty and all such crimes!
Sixteen hundred will you make it for
choice of pews? Too bad, gentlemen!—
Not even sixteen hundred dollars a year?
Why, (ellow Christians, if you own a pew
here you can go to theatres, operas, home
races, pretty waitergirl saloons, faro banks
and perhaps the devil! And you can buy
and sell gold, and stocks, and contraband
cotton. You can keep a handsome hired
girl, indulge in wine suppers and enjoy
Christianity hugely. Will you say fif
teen hundred—fourteen—thirteen—twelve
hundred —and down she goes to Deacon
Goldfish for twelve hundred. Brethren
let us prwj
“ Now, gents, what do I hear for the
second choice? Just as good a seat as the
first! Take your pick! Who’ll give two
thousand? Remember that whosoever
gives to the poor lends to the Lord! Will
you make it nineteen hundred—eighteen
hundred—and no poor people allowed in
the pow—experienced sexton—knows his
business. You want a choice pew to ex
hibit your patent leathers, your furs,
your broadcloth—the silks and satins of
your wife, and plaids of your children.—
ADVERTISING TERMS.
ca ph subsequent Insertion. Quar
'n’i IL ry ’ and yearly advertisements lu
Ultfor m!■ paired uclto no u the above rates
should be accompanied by the
Cash. When sent without any lencrth of time
specified for publication, they will be continued
until ordered out and charged accordingly.
JOB PRINTING.
Cards, Handbills, Circulars, and every other
description of Job and Card Printing executed In
tho neatest stylo at low prices.
-ftO. 3.
Como, gents—choice of seats to Beecher’s
bazaar—will you make it seventeen—six
teen—fifteep hundred dollars? Come to
the centre.- you gold speculators, oil deal
ers, stock brokers, cotton thieves, office
holders, loyal people and nabobs 1 Bid
lively, keep out the poor, for Beecher’s
heaven is a peculiar institution where an
gels wear white silk garments with flesh
colored stockings, low necked dresses and
frizzled hair. All right—sold at fifteen
hundred.” \|jf
Nigger church at tho Five Points will
do for poor people —this is for the rich and
oyal exclusively.
I There was a time when people wor
shipped God—not tho man. When they
prayed from their hearts, not\with lying
lips! When professors of religion lived
lives of godliness, and not of dissipation,
extravagance and recklessness. When
the “dim old aisles of the forest rang with
the anthems” of those who believed in
God and the Redeemer as a means of
grace rather than a cloak fo? deviltry.—
There was a time when Christianity
meant something—when the laws were
honored—when extravagance did not
take oven the rites of burial in its dinky
grasp—when religion was a devotion in
stead ot an art. We believe in that re
ligion which seeks God in lowliness of
spirit and not in that brass-mounted, sil
vorpiatedstyle which drives to theoburch
door with a nigger in livery and keeps a
private glass, as a billiard player does his
cue, to partake the sacrament from. If
Christ should be born again, not one out
of ten of these patent, aristocratic pro
fessors of religion would call on His moth- -
er during her stay in the stable where tho
infant Jesus first saw light, for fear of los
ing caste. We believe in religion, but
not in this pomp and glitter—this auc
tion, codfish aristocracy style.
Jiegro r.uuulUy—Wlmt Docs it Menu 7
Wendell Phillips, who has acted as
prophet during the .abolition crusade
against the Constitution and its require-
ments, says;
“ Negro suffrage means a score of ne
gro Congressmen sitting in the House of
Iteprcsenialives. It means colored mer
chants in New Orleans, and colored Sen
ators in Columbia. It means negro rep-
resentatives sharing in moiling railroad
Jaws and other Jaws. It means social
equality, and that was where the South
erner met the question. Social equality
follows hard on the heel of the ballot box,
and the South knows it, and she resists
negro suffrage for what must follow it.”
Yes, this is exactly what it means, and
all the sophistry of cunning politicians
cannot make the people believe anything
else. If equality will not do this much
for the negro it will do nothing. A man
cannot be equal In the sight of the law
unless every barrier is thrown down that
would keep him from entering the race
for civil, religious’and political honors.—
If one restriction blocks the way he is
not an equal. The man that tells you
that equality has restrictions for a portion
of her citizens, tells you what is not true.
They may laugh when the white man’s
friend declares that equality, gives the
blacks all the rights of citizenship, it is an
ironical laugh, one designed to take the
place of argument.
Innovations never develop at once.—
Like the growth of bodies it requires time
to bring them into full life and action. —
Unless the negro has the power to exer
cise the right of suffrage, he never can
benelit the disunionists of the North, and
that power must be granted or the Sum
nor-Ste vens programme fall to the ground.
They know this, which accounts forthelr
actions in that direction. Wendell Phil
lips is correct when he says “ NEGBO
SUFFRAGE MEANS negro Congress
men, negro Merchants at New Orleans,
and negro Senators in Columbia .”
A fewyoars ago the radicals denied that
they were in favor of the destruction of *
the Federal compact, endeavoring to let
on that they adhered to the doctrines
enunciated in the resolution of Congress
favoring a restoration of the States under
the Constitution! But now they openly
denounce men as traitors who seek such
a restoration. • In a few .years this quib
bling about the rights of the negro will
be dispensed with and they will join
Phillips in urging all its powers. Demo
crats and conservatives, be not deceived
by tire disunion schemers; they will on
ly laugh at you after their alms are ac
complished, should you allow them to
conquer. The county of Lycoming con
tains a majority of men opposed to negro
elevation in the political world, and wa
believe that their votes will, tell In Octo
ber for the white man’s candidates.—Ga
zette.
The Late Soldier’s Con vention.— lt
cannot bo disguised that the late Soldier's
Convention, recently held in this city,
was a regularly packed affair, concocted
by the Radical leaders of that portion of
the Republican party who call it patriotic
to vilify, abuse and headoff the President.
It was one of the wise stratagies of For
ney, Stevens, Williams & Co., to forestall
—by the semblance of a solemn State
Convention, composed principly of the
bummers of Philadelphia and other places
—the sentiments of the great mass of our
soldiers, who, in their peaceful avocations
Of life scarcely heard that such a Conven
tion was to be held, and eared less for Its
action.
A Soldier’s Convention should have es
chewed politics; yet when one of Demo
cratic proclivities undertook to intimate
that it convened for partizan purposes, he
was gagged down with hisses.
Every poisoned, tyrannical, Union hat
ing, negro-suffrage loving, President-rev
iling, Stale-right hating, centralized,
power advocating, rule-or-ruin mottoed,
silf-conceited, popular-sovereignty ana
thematizing paper in the State, is copy
ing the proceedings of that Convention os
an expression of the sense of the great
mas* of our soldiery endorsing the pres
ent Rump Congress—denouncing the
President and proclaiming for General
Geary. It was no such thing. “Thesol
dier will vote ashefought,’’saysacotem
porary. He will. He fought to uphold
the entirety of the Union against those
who would have severed it—the ultras of
the North and South —to the former class
of which the majority in the present frac
tional Congress belong. —JPittsburg Re
public (Republican).
Radical Piety Illustrated.— ln a
discussion recently , in the Common Coun
cil of Philadelphia, a member by the
name of Hancock is thus reported :
“ Mr. Hancock —I would go down into
hell and break the ashes of the grave to
teach the attorney who would go South
to defend Jeff. Davis the contempt in
which the people of the city hold him.
I would have William B. Reed there,
that every flapping shred of the flag may
remind himof the shrouds of his murdered
victims.
“ Sir. Iletzel —I move to include Mr
Thaddeus Stevens.
“ Mr. Hancock —Well, I only say that
With Thaddeus Stevens I am heart’ and
hand. (Applause.) Ibolongtohisband.
There is only one thing left in the land
now, and that is the flag ; and I trust that
we will ever hallow a'tlay that shows us
how despotism was broken up. Such an
unhallowed idea as Jeff Davis being par
doned is preposterous, and ought not to
be entertained. If I would see a traitor
going to heaven, great Ood ! 1 would go
the other wag." .
Ho “would go the other way’,” and,
we dare say, in so doing would take the
most direct route home.