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VOL. 51.
AMERICAN _VOLUNTEER.
PUBLISHED JSYEHT THURSDAY KORNIMQ BT
JOHN B. BRATTON.
' ■ TfiiTMS:
, STUB ionirtiOit. —-^Pfiro dollars if paid within the
4 »ar ; and Two Dollars and Fifty Cents, if not paid
within the year. These terms will be rigidly ad
hered to in every instance,. ,No. dis
continued until all arrearages aro paid unless at
the option of the Editor.
■ Adtbrtibbments— Accompanied by the o Asii, and
not exceeding one square, will bo inserted throe
times for $1,60, and twonty-fivo cents for each
additional insertion. Thostrof a greater length in
proportion. "
Job-Printing—Suoli as Hand-bills, Posting-hills
•Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, Ac. &o,> executed with
■ .oouraoy and at the shortest notice.
Vodkal.
NOW AND THEN.
Air— “ Tm Kihodoh Oobino.”
Time Was. when we had a happy nation,
(• And a staunch Democracy ; .
Our fame was wide throughout creation,
. And a proud young people, we ;
•But things have chang’d—the comet’s risen
With a different tale to tell.
And no man novV is safe from prison
At a touch of Seward’s bell]
Alas.l for liberty;
v Alas I-for Uncle Sam;
We’ve lived .to see theikiogdom coming,
In tbe days of Abraham 1
*! ' " 1 ■ >:1 t .ui ■
Time was when weobad our. free discussion
1 With the press, the tongnO, the pen ;
Nor had wo learned tolepo the Russian,
' With his spies and dungeons, then.
But now, unless one sings the-praises
Of the Linooln-Stftnton m.ew,
Some hostile yhWns hs 'quick as-blnzos,
And the poor soul’s lost to view 1
There’s no more liberty-,-
Our rights ate all a shorn—
And this must bo the kiugdonvcolning,
In the days cl Abraham I
In days gone past-•■those days more palmy
. Than another land e’orsaw,—.|
Our statesmen needed not an army
I, In the place of civil law ;•
Each man his ballot cast pp feat mg,;
; And had thought it Strange to.find,
A blue-eont conscript guard appearing
With a loaded gun behind]
Is this your liberty,?. ;
V- . i Poor sacrificial lambi ■ , •.
Bow down and bless the kingdom Coming,
In the days of Abraham)
W? lovo. the War, and all are burning
/,(' For the cause we hold an dear, • •;
wheels are kept a running
In country, fur and near, •••
Our uur debt are bigger'
Than we.pa-e.likoly soon io pay ;
But Abra’ra. Wan.ts to froe the nigger
And we let bis way.
Our cliapoq for liberty. -
Is hardly worth a d-—-n.
But there’s a nigger kingt\om .coining,
And tho king is Abraham 1 .
3®srellantM
THE TABLES TUEfIEJ);
OR,
HOW A DBT JIEER WAS JOKED.
At tho name of Cale Meeks, what reminis- ■
■cenoes pass before our mental vision 1 Old
Irocollections oorae crowding upon us and we |
see an array of the “ solid” pass before our j
mind’s eye, in the shape of seekers after the ,
mythical Frank McLaughlin, the victims of ,
croton oil and jalap, fur the administration of ,
which no ucdical reuson existed, and a long i
line of those who have been humbugged gen- ]
orally without any speoifio species of sell.—
Cale was the prince of dry jokers? ho lived, | ,
moved and had his being through a diurnall ]
of sells ; indeed his life was one I |
great sell composed of a conglomeration of ;
the infinitessiraal sells of fifty years’‘dura- ,
tion. Now Bixby. Nathan Bixby, was one ,
of Cale’e truest and staunchest business ao- ,
quaintanoes, although ho had never been in- ■
troducod into the domestic circle made glad \
by the portly presence of Mrs. Gale who was j
somewhat addicted to jealousy. ,The reason
for this lack of acquaintance was that she
lived a secluded life in, one of the little villa
ges on Long Island, and Nat Bixby lived in ]
the babel of Now York. Well, one day Gale
was hard pushed for an object upon which to
inflict a practical joke, and in his dilemma .|
selected his friend Nat os his victim. The
manner in which Nat was sold Ido not choose
>to particularly describe. Suffice it to say
that under the play of Gale’s exuberant fancy,
-Nat made a journey to Albany, Insisted that
<a lady there bad sent him an amatory epistle,
Which he produced. The lady became in
dignant, called in the aid of her husband who
literally skinned Mr. Bixby, who thereafter
returned to Gotham with a very adult flea in
his auricular apparatus. This event hap
pened in the early spring time, and on a
beautiful day. ..'About a week after N.at’s re
turn from Albany hornet Gale at Sherwood's.
The sell was disclosed by Gale and a hearty
laugh was had over Nat’s mislay, and at his
itill bruised features, in which he joined;
but those present noticed the fact that he
■didn’t laugh an inch below his ohih; in truth
St was generally believed that Nat’s mirth
jkas entirely stimulated.
“ Now, old fellow,” said Gale, " you don’t
■bold any malice, do you
“ Not a bit," answered Nat, ” and in token
fif amity, let us take Emiles dll around.”
Which they did in the usual manner.
« How did you 6brrfe to town ?” asked Nat.
•;I. difoVe dp in a light wagon'," replied
Cfflfe • . -- .
“And when Will you return bonne?"
. “ About six o’clock this evening,” raspon
dsd Caleb. ‘ , .
Nat thereupon pleaded nn engagement anq,
left; hut as soon as ho was outof eye-shot of
his joker friend, repaired to.Grsy’s stable in,
Warren street, where he hired a fast horse
and a light vehicle, and with which he start
6d, through ft hjo stroot, for tho rcaidonco of.
his friend Gale, on Long Island. On arriv
ing, he left his. horse add wagon nt a public
house.and proceeded on foot to the aforesaid
residence, where he inquired of the servant
if Mr. Meeks was At home. On being an
swered, as ho knew he would be, in tha ne
gative,.he said:
“This is übiortiihato. Xwanted to,pay
him 1 some money. If Xoould see Mrs. Meeks
it would do ns well; she could 1 give me a re
ceipt in'tho namb of her husband.”
$
0
| [Mrs. M. was frugal and industrious, and
always attentive to her husband’s interests.
As the last remark fell from the lips of Nat,
a fine looking matron called from up the
staira to tho eervnnt, to “ show the gentle
man in the parlor,”—where she followed in
a few moments. Nat bowed and said;
“ I desire to see Mrs. Meoks, madam.”
“Very well,” said ehe,<'“l am Mrs.
Meeks.”
“Pardon mo, madam,” said Nat,-with a
doubting shake of the head; “ but this is a
matter .pf some importance—the payment of
money—-and you aro not the lady Mr. Masks
introduced me to last winter,”
“ Not the lady? what I” shrieked she; “do
you mean to tell me that ”
“ I simply toll you, madam,” replied Nnt,
.wilh.icy impurturbabilify, that Mr. Meeks
last winter, in Broadway, near Leonard street
introduced mo to a lady whom ho called Mrs.
Meoks, and you are not the Indy.”
“ Indeed 1” exclaimed Mrs. Meoks, her
ayes flashing fire; “ how old was she ?”
" Well, about twenty-five.”
" Twenty-fivel And howwasshedressed?”
“ She wore her hair in ringlets, had dia
mond ear-rings 1”
“ Diamond ear-rings I”
“ A heavy silk velvet dress, very large
'gold bracelets, a magnificent - watch and
chain.” '
“ Well, go on,” she mid spitefully.
“ Silk velvet hat trimmed with magnificent
lace, and a muff and boa.”
“Boa," wranebed out the now thoroughly
irate dame; “ you’d better bore your way
oat of this house mighty quick, or else some
body will have a headache I No, sir, I am
not Mrs. Meeks, and I want you to leave.”
“ Oh, certainly," said Nat, who saw the
tallest kind of a squall brewing, and who had
good reason to fear that the sturdy dame
might launch at bis head a conk-shell or
some other of the heavy ornaments which
adorned the mantle. Nat therefore beat 4
retreat from off the premises, and placed
himself behind a stone fence, from winch he
could command a view of the Brooklyn turn
pike. lie did not wait long before he saw
the amiable Oaleb driving down tho road all
unconscious of the ambush'of Nat. The ex
pression -upon Caleb’s face was one of groat
amiability, and exemplified that he was at
peace with “ all.the world and the, rest of
mankind.”
In a brief space of time Caleb’s steed was
given into the charge of-a stable, and uncon
scious and happy, he entered his domicil and
shut the door. Tho moment he entered an
attentive oar mighfhave detected the sounds
of a voice in no way mellow or expressive of
endearment; and an instant after Caleb hur
riedly came through tire door, with -amaze
ment on his front and a mop in his rear, the
wrong end of Which was under tho direct and
personal superintendence of a lady who was
very red in the face and very sturdy in the
arras, and who strongly resembled Mrs.
Meeks. The battle had commenced in the
passage way, Caleb’s castor, which shone in
tho rays of the setting sun as ho drove down
tlie-v.oad, was now very much bruised and out
ohßhape, indeed it was driven far down over
Cufeli.’-s.am iaWe physiognomy.
“ What in thunder’s out?” yelled Caleb.
“ Twenty-five years old!” shrieked tho in
furiated '“dame, and bang Caleb caught the
mop over ills shoulders. “ Corkscrew ring
lets I’’ and punk he got it in tho book, with
all the strength which nature and anger had
given the enraged lady.
“ Confound it, don’t do that.
But it was no use, ho had to take it.
'* D'amnnd ear-rings 1” punkl Silk vel
vet dress 1" bang 1" “ Gold ■ btiaceleta 1"
slump.
“ Murder 1” roared Caleb.
“Watch and chain I” she shrieked, and
biffl.be took it over the head.
“ Muffl” hangl slump! “BoaI” bangl
bang 1-and down went Caleb with a yelLof
“murder!” ‘ i. ,i . - „
Now fell the blows thick and fast upon the
bruised head, back-and face of tho prostrate
joker; while tho lady again .rehearsed the
catalogue of the wearing apparel andjewels
of the other Mrs. Meeks, timing the utter
ance of the name of.each article with a blow
upon her prostrate, writhing and bleeding
lord. ' .
But nil tilings must nave nn end. • The vi
olent exercise of tho arms and lungs, in which,
Mrs. Meeks had indulged, had somewhat ex
hausted her : . She rapidly run through Nat’s
imaginary catalogue and feeling her strength
depnrting. gnthering herself up for one grand
and final effort, Cale looked with horror up
on the upraised mop; he heard the words :
“Oh! tho huzzy I" shouted in ft vigorous
tone; he heard ft hurtling, whizzing sound
in the air, and the next instant Caleb’s nose
was as flat as the other parts of Caleb's face.
His two tormentors retreated into tho man
sion, and-left him alone with his gore. Slow
ly, and with the most keen sensations of pain,
he raised himself in a sitting posture, and,
with many a groan of agony, proceeded to in
spect his personal condition.
“ I’m blessed if this arm ain’t broken 1 Oh I
And this left shoulder must bo dislocated 1
Oh 1 Oh 1 And, good, gracious, what a nose 1
That woman muet 'be orniyl I shan’t be
able to go about in ft month 1 Oh, how sore 1
am 1"
Now, Nat, with the most pleasurable, erup
tions, hod, through the orevioe of the fence,
observed, the Whole of tup little family jar
which I hove So feebly described; and he
now stood looking over tho fence, at tho back
of jiis dear friend.
« J say, Uncle Cale t” shouted Nat.
“Hoy 1” said Caleb, ns he turned, in some
little astonishment, a look upon hie former
V * “Teay, Gale,” continued N nt, “ how do you
feel about now 1” .
‘tOhl you - -1 I shall leave it
blank—yelled out the enraged Caleb, as he
sprang to his feet and made for,the house—
“ I’ll fix your flintl” .
But Nat didn’t want Ins flint fixed, and
therefore made his way, with all possible ce
lerity, up the road.
Soon after there appeared upon the green
sward rendered sanguinary end escrod by,
conjugal endearments, a lame man, who wopci
a shocking had hat, and who had taken
posession of a fowling piece loaded with buck
shot, ,If the lame man meant to shoot Nat,
he reckoned without his host.',. That,worthy,
thanks to a long thin pair of logs. Whs out of
gun-shot range. j,.
Gale from that time forth, and until he fill
ed the grave which he now occupies so well,
eschewed dry joking, and was always sensi
tive on the subject of mops. ‘
The Parisian ladies this winter are
going to adopt very short skirts, veryAigh
boots, and very'plaid stockings. The ladies
bore have no choice but tofolloVr their exam-,
pie. Boots. skirts_ and everything else are
so confoundedly high. • • ■ •,
try- Ladies who have won husbands hygay.
plumes in their hats, are said'to hayedsath
ephd'thbM’ nest*;'
0
A Discourse on Vagabonds*
The fresh, rough, heathery parts of human
nature, where the air is freshest, and where
the linnets sing, is getting encroached upon
by cultivated fields. Every one is making
himself useful. Every one is producing
something. Everybody is clever. Every
body is a philanthropist. I don’t like it. I
love a little eccentricity. I respect honest
prejudices. I admire foolish enthusiasm in
a young head better than a wise skepticism.
It is high time, it seems to me, that a moral
game law were passed, for the preservation
Of the wild and vagrant feelings of human na
ture.
Ah, me I what a world this was to live in
two or three centuries ago, when St was get
ting itself discovered—when the sunset gave
up America. Then were the Arabian Nights
commonplace, enchantments a matter of
course, aud romance then waa courting Na
ture—now he has married her 1 most extra
ordinary thing in the world. Then man.—
Vet for all that, time has brought and taken
away, IMA glad to know that the vagabond
sleeps in our blood and awakens now and
then.
Overlay nature as you please, here and
there, some bit ot rook or mound or aborigi
nal soil will crop out, with the wild flowers
growing upon it sweetening the air. Genius
is it vegabond. Art is a vagabond. Enter
prise is a Vagabond. The first fine day in
spring ’awakes the gipsy in the blood of the
English workman, and incontinently he
‘ ‘ babbles of. green fields.” On the English
gentleman, lapped in the most luxurious civ
ilization, and with the thousand powers' and
resources of wealth at his command, descends
often times a fierce unrest, a Bedouin-like
horror of cities, and the cry of the money
changer, and in a month the fiery dust rises
in the track of the desert steed, or in the six
months’ polar midnight he hoars thO big
brave dashing on tho icy shnro.
Vagabonds have moulded tho Wbrld into
its present shape. Respectable people swarm
in the track of the vagabond, as rocks in the
track of the plowshare. Respectable people
do little‘in the World, except storing wine
cellars and massing fortunes for spendthrift
heirs. Respectable well-to do Grecians shook
their heads over Leonidas and his three hun
dred When they went down to Thermopylts.
Respectable Spanish churchmen, with' shav
en crowns, sconted the dream of Colnmhus.
Respectable German folks attempted to per
suade Lather from appearing before Charles
and the Princes and electors of the empire.
Nature makes iis vagabonds—the world
makes us respectable.
■Commend me to Shakspoare’s vagabonds
—the most delightful in the world. His
sweet blooded ana liberal nature blossomed
into all fine generosities as naturally as an
apple bough into pink blossoms and odors.—
It would -be better if We could hove, along
with our modern enlightenment, our higher
tastes and purer hands, a greater individual
ity of thought and manner j better that every
man should be allowed to g-CoW in his own
way, so long -as he does not infringe an. the
rights of his neighbor, or insolently thrust
himself between him and the sun.
A little more nir and light, should be let in
upon life, I should, tliipck ths World has stood
long enough under the drill of Adjutant
Fashion, it is hard work; tho posture is
wearisome, and Fashion is an awful martinet,
has a quick eye, and comes down merciless
ly on the unfortunate wight, who cannot
square bis toes to the most approved pattern,
or who appears upon a parade with a_ darn
in his coat or - a shoulder belt insufficiently
pipe clayed.' It is killing work. Suppose
wo try “.standing,at ease” a little? —Essays
by Alexander Smith,
Love .atin Jealousy.- —Murder and Suicide
in Bostcfh. —A young man named George S. i
Freeman’tlc shot his Wife last evening and
then attotapted to kill himself. The parties
board at No. 947 Washington street. Yes
terday afternoon the wife went to her moth
er’s house, No. 9 Medford Court, where she
was followed by her husband about 6 o’clock
in the evening. He at once drew a revolver
and fired twice at her, one of the balls taking
effect in her collar bone, and the other just
above her hip on the left side. After shoot
ing his wife, he fired the contents of two
barrels of the revolver at himself, both shots
taking effeot below his heart, two inches from
each other... He aimed, doubtless, at his
heart, and intended to kill himself instantly.
Drs. Hobbs and Buckingham wore called to
the wife, and upon examination were of
opinion that her wounds would prove fatal.
Neither of the halls passed through her body.
She' remained nt her mother’s The
husband was carried to the City Hospital.—
Ilia wounds nre not believed to bo serious.—
Ho is about 27 years of age, and his wife,
who is a native of Nashua (N. II.,) is 23
years of age. They have but two children.
There had been some difficulty between the
parties, tho husband being of a jealous dis
position, and from letters which he had writ
ten it seems that he had thought her untrue
to him, and had contemplated the desperate
act for some time. Those who know the
couple do not believe that ho had just
grounds for suspecting his wife. Both were
illive this morning. It was thought that the
Wife could not possibly survive her injuries
more than a few hours. The affair created
intense excitement in that usually quiet por
tion of the South Knd. Freomantle, it is
stated, was born in London, and is a son of
a musician of this city. —■ Boston traveller.
ICT" A lawyer of Milwaukee was defending
a handsome young woman, accused of steal
ing from a largo unoccupied dwelling in the
night time; and he thus spoke in conclusion
‘ Gentlemen of the jury, lam done. When
I gaze with enraptured eyes on the matchless
beauty of this peerless virgin, on whoso res
plendent charms suspicion never dared to
breathe—when I behold her radiant in this
glorious bloom of luscious loveliness, which
angelic sweetness might envy, but not eclipse
—before which the star on the brow of night
grows pole, and the diamonds of Brazil are
dim, and then reflect upon the utter madness
and,folly, of supposing that, go mhcljbeaiiiy
would expose itself to the terrors of ah empty
building, in the cold damp, and dead of night,
when innocence like hers is hiding itself
amid the snowy pillows of repose; gentlemen
of the jury, my feelings are too overpowering
for expression, and I throw ■, her into your
arms for protection against this foul charge
which the outrageous malice of a disappoint
ed scoundrel has invented to blast the fair,
name of this .lovely maiden, whose, smiles
shall bathe reward of the verdict which 1
know you will give.’ ■
The jury acquitted her without leaving
their seats. . They couldn't help-itl
jgj? “I hope you will he. able to support
npo,” said a young lady to herintended, while
walking out one evening, during a slippery
state of the sidewalk. „ . . 'I ■'
. “Why, jo-yea,” said.the hesitating swam
“with Boino litllb assistance from your father.
“OUR COUNTRY—MAY IT ALWAYS BE EIGHT—BUT EIGHT OR WRONG OUR COUNTRY.”
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, LEiiMBER 82,1864.
* ; ! ' • • ’’ *
Talks Adodt llSaltii.— During the damp
and cold season deficient dress of the feet and
legs is a fruitful source el disease. The-hend,
throat, and liver are perhaps the most fre
quent sufferers. ■ ■ •>. / ■
The logs and foot are far from the central
part of . the body. They are not in great
mass, like the trunk, but extended, and 'en
veloped by the atmosphere. Besides, they
are near the damp, cold earth. '
for those and other reasons they require
extra covering. If we would secure the
highest physiological conditions, are must
give our cxtremetiea more dress than the
body. Wo men wear upon our legs, in the
coldest season, but two thicknesses of cloth.
The body has at least six. Women put on
them. four thicknesses under the shawl,
which, with the various doublings, furnishes
several more—then over all, thick, padded
furs; while their i-na have one thickness of
cotton under a balloon. They constantly
come to me about their headache, palpitation
of the heart,-and congestion of the liver.—
Yesterday, one said to me, ‘ All my blood is
in my head apd chest. My head goes hu ni
nety bump, my heart goes bumpety-bunip.’
tasked, ‘How are your foot?’ ‘Chunks of
ice,’ she replied. I said to her, ‘lf you so
dress your legs and feet that the bleed can’t
got down into them, where can it got It
can’t go out visiting. It must stay in the
system somewhere. Of course the chost and
head must have an excessive, quantity. So
they go ‘ humpoty-bump,’ and so .they must
go, until you dress yoUr legrapd foot in siich
away that they .shall gel their state of blood,
In the coldest season of the year I leave Bos
ton for a bit of a tour before Lyceums—going
as far Jts Philadelphia, and riding much in
fb'o night .without an overcoat; hut I give my
Jegatwo or three times their usual dress.—
Danng the coldest weather men may wear in
addition to their usual drawers, a pair of cha
mois-skin drawers with great advantage,—
When we ride in a sleigh, or in the cars,
whore do we suffer? In our legs of course.
Give me warm legs and feet, and I’ll hardly
thank you for an overcoat.
‘ My dear Madame, have yea a head-aoho,
a sore throat, palpitation of the heart, con
gestion of the liver, or indigestion ? Wear
one, two or three pairs of warm woolen draw
ers, two pairs of warm woolen stockings, and
thick warm shoes, with more or less redaction
in the amount of dress about your body, and
you will obtain the same relief permanently
that you derive temporarily from a warm
foot bath.’ . '
I must not forget to say that a thin layer
of India rubber cemented upon the boot-sole
will do much to keep the bottom of our feet
dry and warm.— Dr. Dio Letbia,
IC/” A good story is told of a Washington
countryman, who on his Way to Cincinnati
became somewhat elevated by sundry drinks,
but, as good luck Would have it, found a boat
at the wharf, and was quickly on his way.
Soon after leaving the wharf, a man came
around' fot his fare. Horrall handed out a
five dollar hill, and repeived four dollars and
ninety-fire contain change. He rammed it
into his pocket-book with great eagerness,
supposing the clerk had'made a mistake.—
That done he leaned back into his chair and
fell asleep. A little While and he was pluck
ed awake by the same man, who again de
manded fore. J" Discovered the mistake,”
holding out a handful of change. The man,
as before, took only five cents, and Horrall
again went into a doze. Ere he had got
fairly into dreaming of home and friends far
away, around came the collector again, and
thus it went op for a long time.
At last Horrall thought it very inconveni
ent. and concluded to vote the collector n
nuisance and give him a bit of advice besides;
so ho said;
“ Is (hie) this a da-n-ger (hio) ous (hie)
bo-boat?” «,
“By no means,” said the man. “ Bran
hew.”
‘‘Then, by gummy, (hio) why dn (hio)
don’t you collect all the fa (hio) hair at onoo
—not bo-bother a fel (hie) heller for it every
mile ns it comes duo ?”
“ Really,” said the man, “ where do you
think you are going.?”' '
“ Cinoin (hio),cinnati,” said Horrall.
“ Cincinnati," said the polite conductor,
“ why you must be sadly out of your reckon
ing. This is the ferryboat, and all this after
noon you have been riding to and fro between
New Albany and Portland.” —Louisville De
mocrat.
A Mai.e Topst. —Here is a very good anec
dote, remindingone somewhat of Mrs. Stowe’s
“ Topny
During the Hast winter a “ contraband”
came into the Federal lines in North Caroli
na, and was marched up to the officer of Jho
day to give an account of himself, whereupon
the following colloquy ensued: . i
‘ Whntfs your name?”
" ‘ My name’s Sam.’
‘ Sam what ?’
• No, snh ; not Sam Watt. I’se jist Sam.’
1 What’s your other name ?’
‘ I hasn’t got no Oder name, eah, I’so
Sam—dat’s all.’
‘ What’s your master’s name
‘l’se gotnomassanow ; massarunod away
—y&h I yah I I’so a free nigger now.’
‘ Well what’s your father and mother’s
name I’
‘ I’se got none, snh— nebor had none. I’so
jist Sam—ain’t nobody else.’
‘ Haven’t you any brothers and sisters 1’
‘No,.snh; neber bad none. No bruddor,
no sister, no fader, no muddor, no massa—
nothin’ but Sam. When you see Sam you see
all dare is of us.’
Always Boon Df-Stairs.—-A young man
who was thinking of studying law, said to
Daniel Webster;
“Mr. Webster, I understand that tho pro
fession of low is quite full, and that there
are more lawyers than are needed ; do you
think there is any chance for me ?”
“ There is always room up stairs,” was tho
reply—and as true as it was ingenious. On
ly a few persons can reach the high places, l
and-. Hose ape always in great demand—
“there is always room enough up
First-olaes farmers and mechanics, as well as.
physicians, lawyers, &0., always find plenty
of work and good ;pay. Whatever colling
you choose, and it matters little if it he an
honest one, resolve to, go into an,upp6f story,
but don’t try to jump there by a single leap,
--or you may fall disabled. - Rather begin- at
the bottom of .the ladder and patiently step
upon each round.
K7* How Much.—’ If ft man sells his
watch lor SSQ; buys it back for $4O; then
sells it.for $45, aow much does he moke in
the transaction ?’ It looks as if he made $15,;
but ho didn’t. Boy, can,you tell how much t
O' Some men keep savage dogs around
tho houses, so,that. the Ipmgry whoistqp to
“ get a bite” may get it outside the door.
Cnoconu.Es and Monkeys.—From Henri
Mershol’s travels in-lndo China, we select
the’ foUftwing paragraphs''.- y . ..
’i "Crocodiles are more numcfous ftv thVrfver
Kt Paknam Vein-than in that of Chantaboun.
I-continually saw them throw themselves
from the banka- into the water; and it has
frequently happened that careless fishers, or
persons who havo imprudently fallen asleep
on the shore, harebecome their-prey, or-have
afterwards died of wounds inflicted by themi
This latter has happened twice during my
stay here. It is amusing, however—fur one
is interested in observing the habitsof ani
mals all over the world—to seo tha manner
in whch these creatures catch the apes, which
sometimes take a fancy to play with them.
Close to the bunk lies the crocodile, his body
in water, and only his capacious mouth above
the surface ready to seize anything (hat may
come within reach* ■■ *'
‘‘A troop of apes catch sight of him, seem
to consult together, approaching littlo by lit
tle, and commence their frolics, by turns no
tors and spectators, One of the most active
or most imprudent jumps from branch to
branohjitjU within a respectable distance
from the crocodile, when, hanging by one
claw, and with the dexterity peculiar to these
animals, ho advances and retiree, now giving
his enemy a blow With his paw, at another
time only pretending to d(? so. The other
apes, enjoying the fun, evidently wish to take
purtinit; but the other branches being tdo
high, they form nsort of chain by laying hold
of each other’s paws, ond thus swing back
wards and forwards, while any of them who
comes within reach of the crocodile, torments
him to the best of-hiff ability.
"Sometimes the terrible jaws suddenly
close, hut not upon the audacious ape, who
just escapes ; then there are cries of exulta
tion from the tormentors, who gambol al.KMit
joyfully. Occasionly, however tile claw is
entrapped, and the victim draggodjwith tho
rapidity of lightening beneath the water,
when the whole troop disperse, groaning and
shrieking. The misadventure does not, how
ever, prevent their recommencing the game o
few clays afterwards.”
Sfcxttßf’ GzNl'iEi,.—Among all thepitinhle
and appealing sights which assail tho eyes,
and, through them, tho heart, none can bear
comparison with that which exhibits the pe
culiar circumstance which, in common par
lance, is known asshabby gentility. There
is a mute development of nil the aggregate of
human suffering in it—a development of in
tolerable yet uncomplaining torment, wbiob.
excites the tenderest regard in the beholder,
and thp most unselfish sympathy. • There is
something gross in bodily suffering; butmen
tni pain is delicate iu its intrinsic nature.
The dignified suffering of shabby gentility in
tho very realisation of what poets call “exqui
site agony,” There is something in the bat
tered hat, the thread-bare coat, and the dis
ordered but highly lustrous boots, which the
flintieaof nature cannot deny. ■'•Poverty does
not always address itsslf to tho sympathies,
and seldom, if ever, in the ratio of its degree.
The poor homeless vagabond in tatter and
filth, tho slaving mendicant whose empty
pocket cannot afford him more than a moul
dy crust to guard against hunger, extorts
charity more frequently than he is invited.
Butshahy gentility seduces the finer instincts
of the charitable man and wins upon human
nature insensibly. It is not tho number of
tatters, or the hideous minutiae of privations,
but that which lies bepeath the threadbare
suit—the mental suffering of whioii this is
tho evidence and the symbol. In this lies
the vital principle on 'which tho pathetic
quality of shabby gentility is based.
Miss Slidell's Marriage—The marriage
of M. Erlangor, the banker, to Miss Slidell,
is causing no small sensation. M. Erlangor
being Just divorced from M’llo Odello Lafltte
(Charles Lafitte’s daughter), and the divor
ced lady being about to enter the bonds of
matrimony with the cause of the divorce,
makes the event of the highest order of pic
turesque interest. One of those curious cir
cumstances which can never happen but in
Franco is recorded of the incident which led
to the divorce, the guiity party being pursued
by the offended husband was, of course, struck
with terror; but philosophy and contempt
had done much to mitigate the pursuer’s
wrath, and so, instead of “chastising the in
solence,” according to the fashion observed
in novels, he very quietly placed his pocket
book in the hands of the fugitive, exclaim
ing, “Ah malheureux. You have only taken
ten thousand francs, and -you are going to
Romo 1 Knowing your fair companion well
I can safely say that such a paltry sura as
that will bo devoured before you get to Mar
seilles. There is double th.o stub,. This will
enable you to go further off—to Naples, per
haps—and I shall be gainer, for you will be
forced to remain there.” And with this con
solatory speech theinjured party ccoly turned
upon liis heel and walked off. So goes, the
legend, at least. —Paris Cor. Liverpool Jour
nal, Sep. Hth
The Wolf. —From the Rio Colorado We
had been constantly,followed by o large gray
wolf. Every evening as soon as WO got into
camp ho made his appearance, squatting qui
etly down at a little distance, and after we
had turned in for the night, helping himself
to anthing lying about; Our first acquaint
ance commenced on the tirade, where 1 kill
ed the two antelopes, and the excellent din
ner he then made on the carcass had evident
ly nttaohedhim to our society. In the morn
ing as we left camp ho took posession-and
quietly ate up the remains of our supper, as
well as some extras X allways took care to
leave him. Shortly after he would trot after
us, and if we halted a short time to adjust
the paok-rtiules or water the annimals, he
would sit down until wd resilttfod.odr march,
But when I killed an antelope, or was in the
act of butchering it, he gravelyjlooked on or
loped around and around, licking his jaws in
a state of evident self-gratulation.' I had
him twenty times a day within reach of my
rifle, but he became such an old friend that I
never dreamed of molesting him.— Traveler,
Thk Reason Writ-.—One day, recently a
gentleman who holds a responsible and lucra
tive position in government, concluded -to
change his lodgings, and sent ono of the wait
ers of the hotel where he had selected apart
ments after his baggage. Meeting the wait
er an hour or two afterwards, he aaid : : , ..... .
•Well, John, did you brlilg nfiy baggage
down ?’ ....
•No sar,’ blandly responded the sable gen
tleman,
Why—what was the reason??
•Case, sar, the ;gentleman in tho office said
you -bad not paid your bill.’ ■ - • ■ •
i<Not paid my bill—why, that’s singular,
he knew me very well when he' kept tho Gir
ard House in Philadelphia.’
’ ‘Wall, mebby,’ rejoined John, thoughtfully
Rorntcjiing his bead, ‘mebby dat .was de rea
son he wouldn’t gib me de baggagh.
Eight, to Sixteen.—Lord Sliaftsbury re
cently stated, in a public meeting in London
that 1m had ascertained from p’ersonal obser
vation thpO of adult ’male criminals in that
city, nearly all had fallen into a course of
crime between the ages of- eight and sixteen
years ; ahd that if a boylived on honest life
up to twenty years of ago, there were forty
nine chances in bis favorapA only one aghiost
him, ns tSo att llonoi'iAlO life therehftoK
•This is a fact of startling 'importance to
fathers and mothers, and shows a fearful re
sponsibility, Certainly a parent should se
cure and exercise absolute control over his
child until sixteen—it cannot bo' a very dif
ficult matter to do this, except in very rare
cases ; and-if- that : contf(4 is not wisely and
efficiently exercised, it must be the -parents!
fault—it :is owing- tO'-pnrential neglect or
remissnoss. Tlencfei’the-real source of nine
ty eight percent. of'the crime in n country
such as England or the United States lies at
the door of the parents. ■■-v ■ 1 - -
It is a fearful reflection wo throw it before
the minds of-thoifatheMiand'.mothers of our.
land, and there tabs thought of- in. wisdom,
remarking only ns to the early seeds of dis
ease, that in nearly erory ciso they are sown
between sundown and bedtime, in absence
from the family circle, in the supply of spend
ing money never earned- by the spenders,
opening the doors of confectionaries and soda
fountains, or beer and tobacco; and wine
shops, of the circus, the negro Minstrel, the
restnuVnnt, and dance > then fallows the Sun
day ekoftrsiqh, the Sunday, thieves,- the easy
transition' to. tbp company- of those whose
!eflfi;down .to the gates of social, physi
cal, ana raw's! ruin. ■ ’<
From “ bight to sixteen I” in those few
years are tho destinies of children fixed in.
forty-nine oases out of fifty—fixed by parent 1
lint every father and mother solemnly row:
“ By Cod’b.lielp 1111 fix my dacling’s destiny
for good by making homo more attractive
than tho streets.”
A Cocktail Story.— Thera are many nov
elties in a trip to the Lake Superior regions,
toono who makes the jbrney for-the first time,
among which the Indiana .are not the least,
interesting. During the heated terra, not ma
ny years ago, a party of Cincinnatian*.made
a'-pleasure trip to those regions. Among
them was a gentlemen who hai ivb previous
knowledge.of tho Indiahs'save What-hp had
gained from books,-and having long’heeh n'n
ardent admirer of the race, at a distance, ho
cultivated their acquaintance very assiduous
ly when he came where they were,- Beach
ing Marquette thei party remained 'several
days, stopping sti tho Marquette House.—
There'are a number of Indians about the
town,and the Indian fancier had abundant
opportunities to study those sweet and art
loss children of nature. Onthenightof their
arrival, the Indian fancier was missing for
several hours. ■ His friends at length went
in search ofhim, and found him in the saloon
of tho Hotel treating a lot of dirty, greasy
Indians and half-breeds to Champagne cock
tails, a luxurious and expensive beverage,
hitherto unkown to them,- fur their usualdrink
was rifle whiskey. One of the party asked a
big Indian, who was taking iij his sixth or
eighth cocktail, what be was drinking.
“ Umptli! dunno—him most good asoider!”
Appreciative savage.
Marriage-IK Lapland. —lt.is death in
Lapland to marry a maid without the consent
of her parents or friends. When a young
man has formed an attach nent for a female,
the fashion is to appoint their friends ,to be
hold the two young parties run a rhee tor
gather. The maid is allowed in starting the
advantage of one-third part of the race, so
that it is impossible, except willing of her
self, that she should be overtaken. If the
maid outruns her suitor, the matter is endedj
he must never have her, it being a penalty
for a man to renew the : motion of marriage.
Bafc.iftbe Virginia? an affection for him,
though; at first she runs fast to try the truth
of his love, she will (without Atlanta's gold
en balls to retard her speed) pretend sortie
casualty, and make a voluntary halt before
she comes to the mark or end of the race.—
Thus none are Compelled to marry against
their own wills ; find this is the cause that
in this poor country the married people are
richer in their own contentment than In oth
er lands, where so many forced matches
make feigned love, and cause real Unhappi
ness.
BIT* Bill Anderson, tile tiotdridiio guerrilla*
who was recently killed in Missouri, was
accustomed to put those who wished to join
his band to a severe test. On one occasion,
a desperado went to him to join, Anderson
told him that ho‘didn't want to have any
thing to do with him—that he vrasn fcoward,'
&c. The fellow replied, *Try mo, captain.'
Anderson told him ‘ It was no use ;' but the
fellow kept on insisting until Anderson at
last spit in his face, when the follow
him downl Anderson arose, rubbed his
temple, and said : ‘ swear him in, boys, any
man that will knock Hill Apdctspn down,
surrounded by his men,*will do for a member
of our band.' *
jßgy* Two fast young men, just returning
homo after a night's carousel, saw the sun
rising. One of them insisted it was-the sun,
the other that it was the moon—They agreed
to leave it to the first man they met. He al
so had been out op alark-. “-Excuse me, sir,
but m‘y friend arid I have made a little bet
whether that's tho sun or moon that's now
rising, and wo’vo agreed to have you decide
the matter," “Fact is, gentlemen, I should
be very happy, but you soo.l'mp strangetin
the city,' ana been o\ii all niglul"
... £7* A man in Baltimore was arrested on
Friday last, charged with ‘‘ cursing the Pre
sident.” If that is to be the order of the day,-
increase .your police and enlarge your pris
ons, gentlemen 1 subjeot.is so ,inviting
for such indulgence- that-you already have
that sort of cause for arresting hundreds of
thousands of our people, male and female,
old |and young, from the prattling babe to
the patriarch full of years at the verge Of h'iS
fravei - - -
A veteran officer presented a memori
al to Napoleon, soliciting a pension. ‘ Vfa
shjtH see,’ was the Emperor’s reply. ‘ Sire.’
yon may see. now, it you will deign, to look,’
said the soldier, uncovering a breast scarred,
all over. The pension was granted on the
spot.
£7" Pittsburg one foundry for ftbput
oaoh thousand.of its population, and a dozen
drinking'saloons for each found-dry.-—iVen
iice. ?
r - I. ..-a
Laborers are scarce in Utah. The
Saints are' lazy and won’t work, preforing to
starve like gentlemen. '
.£7" A -manufactory of forged notes .has
bepn, discovered in one of the St. Petersburg
prisons.
ME SEW LINCOLN LOAN.
Ono of the evil signs of the times ia the ap
athy and profound indifference with which
the Northernj public receives any suggestion*
from authority, no matter how startling or
nefarious. This in singularly the case with
one hint in Mr. Lincoln's late -message; on
Which scaVoely a comment has been made
outside of the strict limit of- the opposition
press. We have paused in the faint hope
that such a paper as the New York Eoerizrty
Post; genoroHy fcound enough on questions of
ethics or finance, dr'the Ndtihnal Intelligencer 9
from its scat-on the cros-s-tfCPbh'es; woold say
something about it. Bub thus far,
word. From the loose* morality and qery
feeble intelligence of the 41 loyal" newpapers
in ■ our own neighborhood, wo, of course; ex
pected nothing. The suggestion Mr. Lin-.
coin to which we now refer, is that upon which,
we offered some comments yesteraay.; ■ The
President,* speaking of a probable increase of
the-funded aobt, und of temptations to invest
in it, says :*“ X suggest wneUier it might.not
be both competent and expedient for'Congress '
to. provide that* a limited atdo&ntof some fu4
ture issue of public securities might bo held
by any botidjide purchaser, exempt from tbxk *
ation and Jroin.seittire jor debt, under such
restrictions and limitations )as might be ned
essary to > cuard ugainst abuse of st> impor*
tint a privilege " , „ .1
■ The point or.the sting"of this strange sug
gestion; is in the words wo have«italicized,
Qnd, so long as they stand-and constitute the
essence of the thing, it is all nonsense-to talk
of. restrictions and limitations to-prevent a
buso. The man who holds thisbeouritynoed
not and cannot be mide to. pay bis honest
debts. He becomes a. chartered rogae.—
Thoyo can be-no stick- thing-as bond JidesSki
. such a proposition/ It has always been clear
to us that, from the moment the government
interfered with private contracts fey the is
sue of- legal tender notes, the descent on Ijio
inclined plane, of .infamy was, inevitable and
would become easier every day. And so it
has, and yob this last Executive dodge, this
ultimate and most ingenious device of rogu
ery takes us by surprise* . The earliest step
of the descent we speak-of, was coincident
With .the first depreciation* of the paper.—
Mortgagors \Vho bad borrowedigold thought
of the ease .with which, they could pay in pa
pety and found the temptatroa-irresistahle.—
Mortgagees tremblodin their shoes, the more
so if they wore “loyal," fotithen they dared
not hesitate to take what was tendered them.
Saving Funds and Trust Companies were hor
ror stricken; and thus-thegame began*, •We
know of cases where .mortgage debts due to
orphan children were paid off within three or.
four, months of.- the time when, to-avert ruin,
thedobtoron bended knee had supplicated the
loan. In vain a feeble struggle was made in
the courts to avert it. .The Judges, no bet
ter after all than other folks, followed in the
track to thorn, and > with*a feint
bleats of dissent here and there, said it wis
all right, and government oould.in this re
spect do what it pleased with private rlghtsw
Then, through the chink thus made, marched
with gigantic tread the great debtor corpora
tions; in, the aot of crinib o&rdd
question their integrity ? . Werdthey not oar*
ryingtroopsand munitions of war f Had they
not always a State car ready for. any itiner
ant Secretary who had decision to, go hornet
Did they pot subscribe fitatfiegro recruits f-4
l}id they not keep lip the price of coal for
poor men and carry it cheap for the govern
ment ? In short, no one coUld dispute their
loyalty, which, like another old fashioned .Vir-
tue, covers a multitude of sins.—
If tfieir debts fell due, we’mean their princi
pal, they paid, or trie4 to.pay, in<depreoiated
paper, and even whoU the principal was not
due, as in the case of the ground rents, they
were not ashaimod to experiment on the fid
lure-, and discount tho rascality of ytisrs to
come. This attempt has. been texfiporarily
impeded; but it will work smoothly by and
by. Then camo.tho payir.g in paper of the
three year National loan, promised in specie.
Then the compulsory metamorphosis of the
State Banks into .National ones—astupendu
du6 violation of private rights; .and now Mri
Lincoln, whose cheek, like Hamlet's mothers
has been “brazed" by custom, proposes that
the tfjoyernment should go into partnership
with the {radulentihsolvontfl.of the land, fapd
m consideration of their helping him, Mri
Lincoln willtput-them at ease for all time to
come, and stuff with the softest down the pil
lows on which they can lay their loyal headsj
cureless of tho creditor without. , We fire
tempted to ask what engraved detioo .shall
these anti-creditor bunds bear? , A Western
advocate in the Supreme Court last winter—
so says Mr. Wallace’s report—talked of. “ the
elegance of tho engraver’s art, and the
strength and assurance of language being tig
ed to nllure a purchaser?' of Certain fraudu
lent, railroad bonds. But here is an allure
racrit-snch as no one before Mr. Lincoln ever
dreamed of. These bonds, which ere to be
bidden away, need no An
cient Pistol’s., apothegm, ‘‘ base is the slave
who pays," iday be*writteh round their
oa.'btit nothing more is needed. . And this in
the 19th century—this, in an age of decorum
and civilization—this, in the facenf £roat
world ..of capital and. credit to whidli, if the
war lasts, this government must appeal—and
this, too,-with isoaroolj an, audible! word from
the press or the public, in approbation of is,
silence only to be excused in a .way which
loyalty .precludes, by tho Mr.
Lincoln’s individual, or official suggestions,
are really pot worthy of comment or consid!-
oration,— Philia. Age.
XT' The itch funs seven years,-and Aholit
tjoniam being twice as dirty and virulent a
disease, runs fourteen. It commenced as an
epidemic in this country in 1854, and will
end in IBGB. Of course it will from this time
until its total extinction rapidly subside.
O', As a gang of young ioyal Leaguers
were issuing from the Fifth Avenue Hotel*
the other night, vociferously- pinging—
“ Rally round the flag, boys j rally onoe again,"
a worn-out soldier exclaimed, ’‘WelU yod
miisy,’cowardly rascals, why don’t you de it?’'
The young Leaguers sloped Day Book . \
There are'nearly twelve thousand' ten
ement hpusesjn New York oity. and thM'.eV-,
erage si*, families, or about thirty-fIW sofils ts
each houah. - ; ', p, < ; . ,
£/* £ho minitoum Stan J»rdhVight for re
cruits for the, voluntesrf eirvioa has been fix
ed by the. Seoretary of Waf. at- five-' feet in
stead of five feet tme e . inShea; as,heretofore
established.
O' A ootemporary diseovera that some of
our military embers-have fear aids—prop!*-,
3ades, serenade, gasconade and- lemonade-*
ielatter generally’’qualified.’’ r ; ,
m ii