u VOL. 48. AMEIIIGAJX/^QlxU^^P PUBLISHED fcVKItV TIIUUfIDAY MOKNINO BY V joaiw b. brattOlV 1 xr iis! a. Pnnanu’Tt-'jx.—-Due Bollar aml I'lfty.Ccnlsi paid n .'i'lrnnco; Two J>''Hsiva if paid "within ,tho mill Two Dollars and. Fifty .Contsi if not paid witliin tbo year. Xl’esc tenus will burigidly adhered to in overyAustsiico. Ko subscription discontinued until nil arrearages arc paid unless ’at the option -of the •lSditorl '' 1 ■ • thcoAsrr, and not exceeding one square. will* bo insortdd> throe times for'Oho Dollar,' and twenty dive ccn la for each additional insertion. ? • Those of a greater- length in, proportion, ■< Jou-PniSTixa —Such ns Hand-bills, Posting-blits,, Pamphlets, Blanks, Lhbols, Ac. Ac., executed with •accuracy and At thb shortest notice.., • ‘ |soeticfll. I'R ifliEll tlTl\R I WILL Oh ! I’ll toll you of a follow, . Of .a follow I. h’avo soon, 1 , . tyiio is rioithor white nor yellow, But ho ifudtngothcr groon. 'He has lold’ino of n cottage, r ■■■ Of a-cottago on a hill; ? Anil ho hoggud trio to accept him, Bat I hardly, think I.will. Now tbp tears the crcaturo wasted/ ■ Wore enough to turn a mill;. ■ Thou Ins name it isn't charming, For its only.common '•* Bill;" , And bo wishes mo to wed him;. •• Bub I hradly think ,T will ; And ho bogged me to accept hi my . But I,hardly think I will. Ob, bo whispered of doVotioD, ,Of devotion pure and deep, , But it seemed so very silly ~ That C nearly foil asleep! And ho thinks it would bo pleasant, As. wo'journey down the bill,' ' To go hand ivi hund togothor,'. But I hardly Uiink-I'will. ’ He was hero.last night to ’see iric> .... And ho made «o long a stay; - , to think llm blockhead ' . Never meant to go away* ■ > , -At the first I learned to; hate him;. , And T know I hate him still, . . ‘ / Vet ho urges me to have Idm, • - But I hardly, think JC will. f ''i ? m suro I wouldn't cbodso; : hini> ‘ ; But tlto very douce, is in it, • For bo «uys it* I roluso him That bo couldn’t live a minute 1 ■Ami you,know.tjm blessed Bible• ..Plainly says: “ wo imisn'l kill," So I’ve thought tiio matter over, Aiid— l —Trallicr-think I will! • iiETTllk LITE THAN NEVER. Xifu ig a rncci wlicvo somo succeed, 1 i ' i-Whi!o-ofhcr« fci-o-beginning;... ■■■:.] . nt'othcrß^epd,'?. Thut gireti.An ‘oiirly winning, t JiiU ii you chance.'to fall behind, .NeVr slacken yo.tir endeavor, J3ut keep this wbfiiosonie truth in mind, ’Tisketfei- Idle than nfcVor. Ifyotl*c*ib kwii niidddj 'tln well, v *B»t uevcf trip yidtv Uclgliboi’j ;i • . *Tis neblo ivhoh you l*An excel • V , " , . liy honest, piilicnt laboc.: ‘ . Uut il* yini rtfo’mitMrippocl at .fait, ' ProfH ou ni boIU ili« pvor; ( . V lU'iriembcr, though you are surpasi-dd, • ;'Tis butter hlte tlmu never. .IvVcrliibof for ftii l(l»o b’oiiit ' Of victory o*uranother j t .’ *. 'liut while you stride your Uttermost,' V Deal fairly xntb a brother! ‘iviiat’er you'statiou, do your l|6st, . And hold your purUoso.cver j And if you* fail to boat tho rest* 'Tis belter lute than novb^ Choose well tho path in which yoii rim, Sueceod by'noblu daring; Then, tho 7 ' tho lust, when ouch ’tis vton* You* ci'own is worth tho wcarlug. The'n.never IVet.if left behind, Nor slacken your endeavor,■ But ever keep this truth iu ndiml— *rU butter Utc thau*novor. HiiicellLtncdus. Cu rtin ( B ilaUAtfminislrntioii.-Ilow A Rcpubli- tail Editor Talks. tt- A. PuryiancCj onb of the Editors of tho Reporter and Tribune of,Washington, Pa., in a letter to his paper, talks bitterly of Curtin’s infamousAdministratiirnTthus; - -- Tho treatment of the .Ponnsylsaifio" volun teers Ity the Slate government, has been the subject of general and deserved complaint.— I notice the Reporter with chai-aotoristio for bearance and good nature, hiis been disposed to apologias for the 'delinquencies, of Oov. Curtin. ■ I have boon the Governor’s political and personal friend, but I cannot and should not overlook tho gross mismanagement, not to use a harsher word, which is constantly be ing exhibited, in'the fitting out, quartering, provisioning, Jbe., of tho volunteer forces of Pennsylvania. Since I-have been here,' 1 hayo seen whole regiments of Ohio, No w York, Michigan and Rhode Island 1 troops, and' in every instance, the superiority of their uni forms and equipments over those vania, wasso.marked as to challenge tho.at tention oven of tho citizens hero. Tlieir Uni forms wore made of superior cloth, their knap sacks-of leather, neatly finished, their blank ets were of superior s'zo and quality, and eve rything about them betokened a wise, goner •dus nud active superintending'care. They were all noble looking fellows, proud of thqir elegan t trappings, and grateful, doubtless, 1 for, ■the vigilant and honest 1 patriotism that watched over them in their career of glory, peril and duty. 1 I turned from them with hu miliation tobur own—equally worthy and d(V serving volunteers. I found them’ clad in coarsn Kentucky jean, blouses, and rotten ens snot pants,; noithoryof which garments wore lined or half sewed together. The whole suit might ho bought in tho : country 1 'stores bl Green county, for from $4 to ; 54,50. It cost % government' $lOl Who pocketed the enormous profits? ,Our clumsy and unsight ly knapsacks are made of the cparseat niuslm WRtbr-proybd with offensive pitch or 'ooal tar'.i Gqr haversacks are' made of the same materi al,.and a htaf of bfenVrnftbr: being Stored 1 in one for an hour, smells like .a pine forest'bf North Carolina. Thorb has’been a 1 grand l swindle some place, and upon Governor Cdf l bn the blame, must fall. ;It .’is.possible that there is no complicity between him odd-the contractors,'but if is .his hoUiidqu'ijhity fo.spo that none put honest -men are employed in the service-of the government; and sternly to pun r ! s |i rascality whenever and whoever it make-i. Rs appearance- in the- public service.. - It is.' al > iv« all things.-his-duty to keep important. ni'Min-y oontraetup„ n thoTaitlifiil execution o; Which depend thor comfort and efficiency of wand* of patriot!* and self-sacrificing «jti- i ■ i 2ons, clean from tho coiT, 11 tjf pciliti- . cal 3}reculut()rs. l -, A sucli jnen worm tllemsolves into tlio conjidcnco of the inbsC up right Governor ; biifc thOVllshonestx of whicli' I complain.ia- all pervading. . Every depart ment is : befouled., ‘Oin*:'clothing ana 1 equip* merits are rude end worthless; nur pro Visl-Jiis arc scant aria’stale. ’ Our-tpn.Mors ‘are'Coiiv-; fiirtnhloor otljor>viao,-.i‘usi ns it chances. 'Ad-! cMeiit, is the agency f lint befriends' us. Evelf ;in the natter'of transportation’,: jye'inrt rieg” Jocted, The troops of other 7 States.'are oii'r : ried in handsome passenger Oars timbre' herded like cattle in freight train’s; ' ~ ibpm the . tVcst Chexie/itfejfcfsotiidnS 1 fmliciion in the Coarse of Fni/ilimetil.. In the campaign of 185 G, thri;D6mdi)rntic Executive Coimnitteo of this'Stete 'issued an 7 Address, from which the following is anox tract; “We know.,Tory well how easy it is to sneer at any suggestion of danger to tho Union.— But wo know also that tho federal relations of this Government are sb delicately copst*: Or ted.that they may be ruptured at any time' by a serious error of the people; in choosing, a Chief Magistrate. 'Sf'/te States of the .Union are nohhcld together bg physical'Jbrce, like tho dodondeuoics. of a King Join, nor even by a political poiocr, llko different parts of the' same Slate, They are independent sovereiyn lies, united by the gentler law of mutual at traction. This law; operating on their owii -free will, madu tho Union; and when, it ceas es to imovate, the-Union will be unmade.— Let d President of the ,United States be elec ted exclusively by the votes of one section, and on a principle of avowed hostility to tho men, the measures, thb domestic relations, the feelings and. t)ie interests; real or;sup posed, of the other section, and what must-be the consequence? Wo do nbt say it would' certainly or necessarily disaolye’thb Union.— Perhaps the gbiid gonids ; of thb Republic, which has brought us through so many per ils, might save us again. But that man must ho intellectually blind who does not see that it would put us : in fearfuldangcr. For this ■reason; the election' of >a sbctibn'Al candidate' must be regarded as iu itself a great public misfortune. The party that avows opposition and hatred towards a certain class of the States, as its mgtive and nilc of action, is en titled to nC ipd.or. qouifprt frdib any nian who loves his couiltry'or desires ; ’to- Ifo to its government. Jim 1 gji'edtdst,..the wisest, and the host men.this' country ever'.produced have warned.tis that the-Union could riot last under the control; of it geographical' party.— Need we refer you tb Washington’s Farewell .Address? Need wo remind you of the ad monitions which Jefferson and Jackson have given? If the solemn voices which come from ' the tomb at Alt. Vernon,- from the sepulchre at Monticello; and from the grave at the Her- ■ milage, have ceased to ho regarded; then wo are lost indeed.’' (Signed by) " - • ■ John W. I’cmNcv, Ch’n. ’■ Tlib Siege of IUo WarOfficfe The -A r . K Igoi-iZ .gives a description of the hordes of contractors and office-seekers who besiege.the office of Secretary, Cameron': “ 34ut O, that crowd Of applicants without I ,0, that patient, presisting' throng of. place seekers, contractors, pensioners, .jobbers, wouid-ho captains and colonels I Eieli and poor. scliemors and honest men, all mingled .together, each,insisting that-hls business is lit special importance to the Dopartriiont, and vairfly entreating tho Cerberus inthe chtry to present. card and request and interview with tho Secretary of War, 11 How tho 'specu lators ,swarni I What hundreds are ready to make patriotic sacrifices; to supply for con sideration,' bdef, pork; flour, and Pennsylva nia uniforms, in,any amount which the'army may require: The March influx of western oflice-sqiJkc.rs Upon tho White House tfaa. not half so dreadful. - And then tho patience of the men 1 Many are 'suitors in.that entry for half a dozen successive weeks, fnim 8 a. mb ti 11.4 p. m:, daily pacing tb and fro without getting a word h-itii the Secretary; yet never leaving tlto’ir beat except to buy a lunch from the old black lady, below, when niipn tide re minds them of their buhianity. “ The many fail ; the one succeedsand bis dwelling place, on investigation of Willard’s register, will unfrcquontlj be foitnd in some rural Vil lage ot the Keysto’ne State. ■ ■ ■'' .••'I In a Hurry to Haro our Soldiers Hilled Off. On Monday dvbning there was a 1 serenade' at Washington to some’ of th e Abolition m’em bers of Congress. , Blair, of Missouri, firstre sponded in a blood and thunder; war speeph. l After him came the brave and valiant Hiek nian, who thus far in life has only been' bold in words and always tamp in action; ■ The pa pers thus report him: . .. “The lion. John Ilibkmart then stopped forward- and announced himself in' favor- of marching tho army immediately southward, whether they were fully prepared or- not, as Congress would not sanction requisitions for men and money, unless both were used fhrth-; with.” 1 '' ' ■ - ; . , - What could In more despicable than this.? T1)0 cowardly braggart, after having contrib uted, by his ultra sectional course, to involve tho country in ■ bitscly stands tfliiof from tho battle: field himself, and yet com plains of tho delay in tho movements of the Northern forces, and wouiddiave our soldiers rushed into tho deadly conflict whether “pre pared or not.” Such a notorious coward as ho has proved himself to bo, on several occa sions, should be silent on. this subject, espe cially whom ho reflects that Southern Sena tors and members, whom ho hits booh vilify ing and denouncing, are prominent in tho field in support of their cause. Can it bo that this miserable demagogue is anxious to have the Northern soldiers hurried'into battle in order that hundreds and thousand of Democrats; who ho knows constitute the.groat body of the army, may be killed off ?-—West Chester Jeffersonian. ;, ’ • ,- '■ ■ ■’ Gltances of Battle; I “At "Waterloo” said Napoleon; “I ought to have been victorious. The chances werb adiuhdfed to one in J my favor." But Ney.'thd' hfiiveStof the‘brave, 1 at the head bf:42;OQO Frenchmen, sufferedhimselfto bo dolayed a tfty some thousands of Nassau troops.—' Had.it not been for this inexplicable inactiv ity ,Vthe English army would 1 have boon taken jtfiffrpnte (Iflicld, and annihilated without atri lahg a blow. - Grriubby. with 40,000!uion, suf ferod : BuVlow;and'Bloohor t 6 escape hinvj and finally -iv heavy shower ;of Tain made-.the rground so soft that it was. impossible to com inened the attack,at daybreak. , Had I,hoop able, to, cipnipencp .early, ’ Wellipgton’s .army Nyoulil'.lviv,o;,b(!en trodijon flown, in Ihb' defiles of-the forest before, the "Prussians would have’ -hadoitime -to .arrive;. ,It >wps .lost otherwise without.resource. • Tiio jlo'yat of Vy.dlingt'm's .nJijjny' would hayo’.heen peace, the ropoyo. of Europe, tho recognition of 'the'inte-csts of the' masses, aud of the Democracy .—illontkolon’a \ Oithty. . ;i; t ,!j -' \v ■ : -v. .! ■ Doo.sticts says he!is-‘‘.a-follow within red bag having sleeves,'to’it for a-ciiat; with two rod: hags without sleeves, to them, for trou sers ; with a'nieriibroidorod.nnd-.hrnidcd-hag for a vest; with a cap like a red wiirilou snOse •paii j ri-ilh yellow hoofs like the fourth role her. iii a stage play ; witlf a soVt of. a sword gun orgUnsword fuf a weapon, that looks like thejresult of adovo affair between an airiaruus broad-sword-and a lonely musket, indiscreet and tender—-that is a. Zouave. - A fellow, who •can! “ pull tip” a hundred nnd.ten pound dumb bell; who can climb -up nu eighty foot rope, hand over hand, with a barrel of flour hang ing to liis, heels; who can do .the (‘giant swing” on a horizontal bar with g fifty six tied to each handle, who can walk up four flights of stairs, holding,‘a heavy man in.each hand at nrrii’s length; who can climb a greased pole,.feet .first, carrying a.barrel of pork in his teeth—that is,a Zouave. A follow who can jump seventeen feet, four ,inches high ! without n.spuing hoard ;■ Who cun.tio his legs, in a double, bow knot round Bis, neck without ■previously; softening his ffliinhoiies in a steam Bath ; who can walk Blondin’s tight rope with his stomach imside of nine brandy cock tails, a suit of chain armor outside his stom ach, and a stiff northeast gale outside of that l ; who can take a five shooting revolver in hSs hgad and knock the spots off the ton of din-, monda at eighty paces, turning summersaults all the time and firing every shot in the air— that is a Zouave.” , ThO author of the “ Nazarcne,” thus speaks of President Jackson: “Ho was a man 1 Well I remember the day I waited upon him. lie sat there in his arm-chair—Fean see him now/ We told him of the public distress—tho manufactures ruined—the shrouded eagles In crape, which were carried at the head of 20,- 000 men into Independence square. lie heard .us all. We begged him to leave the deposits where they were, to uphold ."’the great bank at Philadelphia, .Still ho did not say a word. At last one of oilr members, more firery than the rest, intimated ;that if the bank was crushed a rebellion alight follow. . Then then old man arose—l can see him-yet. “Conic,” lio.sho.iltcdiri a voice of thunder, lis his clenched hand waa raised high;ahove his White Hair; “ ooibo with bayonets in your hands instead of your petitions—surround the White House with your legions—l nra ready for you! With the people at my back, whom yodt gold can neither.awe nor buy, .1. Will' swing you Up around tfio Capitol—each one of you on a gibbet as high as Haitian's;, , ; “ When I think,’’-says the Author, “’Oftoat .one man ' standing-tUcrb at Washington, bat tling against all the ptnvcrs of bank and pan ic combined, betrayed l>y those iu whom bo' 'trusted-—assailed by all that the Snake of mai den, could hiss or tho Bend of falsehood howl ' —when I think of that one man placing - his back against the rock, and folding his arms fof-tlio blow, while ho uttered his vow-: ‘I will ’not swerve onb sdo'K from have taken’—l’must confess that the. records of Romo—nay, tho proudest days of Cromwell or ■Napoleon —cannot famish an instance of a 'will like that of Andrew Juokson, whon’ho placed life and soul and fame on tho hazard of a dio for the people’s welfare.’’ . A whaling vessel which sailed from London in the year 1840, found in tho Polar Sea a ship embedded in the ice, with-sails furled,- and,'and no signs of life on.hoard.- The cap tain and some,of the crew descended into the cabin, found coiled-upon the floor a large Newfoundland dog,- apparently asleop,_ but when they- touched it they found the animal was-dead and frozen - as hard; as a stone. In the cabin - was a young -lady, seated at-the ta ble, hot- eyes open as if gazing, at the-intru ders in tliat desolate place.; She was a corpse! and had boon frozen in an appassntly resign ed and religious attitude. Beside her was a young man, who, it appeared, was the com mander of tho brig, ami brother to the lady. Ho was sitting dt tho table dead, and before him was a sheet o'fqiaper, on which was writ ten, -“ our cook, has endeavored to strike a light since yesterday morning, but in vain; all is now over;’’ In another part of tho cab in stood the coble, with tho flint and tinder in hand, frozen, in the vain endeavor to strike the fire that could alone save them. The ter rors Of the seamen led tho captain from tho spot, who took with him the log ; book, ns the solo memento of the ill-fated, ship. It ap peared that.she also was from,.London, and had been frozen in that. placo over ,fourteen years. . Tests of Chaiiactfr. —A great many ad mirable actions are overlooked by us, because they are so little add eommon. Take, for in stance, the igotHor.Cwbo lias had broken' slum ber, if any at atl. witli the nursing babe, whose wants must not "be disregarded; she-would fain slcdp uwliUb when tlio..breakfast hour bonies, but patiently and uncomplainingly she takes'tier timeljKsCiit iitftlid table, Tiloifgh exhausted and weary,. She serve’s all v/itlt a‘ re frealiing clip of iooflee of tea before she sips it herself,.an’d ofton the cup is banded back to her to be re filled before she has had time- to taste her own. Do you hear ' her complain this weai-y mother—that her breakfast is cold before-sho has time to bat it? And this is .not for one, butfor every morning, pofliaps, through the year., Do you call this a small thing? Try it, and seo. 0 ! how dues woman ahame us by her farbearahuo and fortitude in what are called little thiugs 1 Ab, it is tlioso little things which are tho tests of character; it is by those “little” self-denials, burnoVith such, self-forgotten gentleness, that the hum blest home is made beautiful to tho eyes of au •gols,.though t wq fail to see it, alas 1 until the, chair is vacant and the hand which.kept in. motion all tltis domestic machinery is powerless and cold! .• / ti , ; Tris IlojlAtt Sentinei,.—When Pompey was destroyed,:there; wore' very many t buried in tljo ruins who were afterwards found in-very diflerent situations, ; There .w,ore somq found whoworo in the street ns if.ihey had been at terapting;to make their escape.; .. They were so mo, found in lofty ohambors; hut whore did -they 'find the llomau sentinel? They. found (uni commanding-,at the city gate, with his hand .still grasping. tbfftw.ar weapon, .where ho-hatl beon pJaeed liy-his .captain, ami there while tlio - hen veil,a threateaodnlitM'f the. java stream irolleil; lie-jmd stood atjhis; post, .and: there, after a-.thoUsand.jqnrs.had passed awuy r ha. was found..: : - ■: : ' 1 ] ; ■; . , - ' ’ ,4'3l6pEr.i'd.yANi';—“Jiibuiy.gut some kind-.’ :tirig wilAdi and fijo-makiirga fire;”--' : “Pia7.c, sir; I can’t. • Mister O’Brien used tho last ban ni'ger yesterday.” “The bannisters gelid h Then- |>n>mi Iho' roof,And ; try :tlie virtue o' dicin shingles.’” “In a week afterwards Mr. Murphy wants a roductiouro’ nut, Huso why, tli* roof looks.” 1 1 :>• \ _ ■ — l ..i U i \ ‘••TT ' ' -, WRONG, ,OUR COUNTRY" ; C AR ULY ; , llB6i.’ ;Wnat is' ii Zouave 1 ? A Great Man. A Frozen Ship. '■ : v .;V.' A.ftncer people. . ', , , dhnmbcids Journal; a recent .book df missionary lrnvols 7 in‘Afriijn, thus al ludes to brie 6f tlio;'frlboa Which arc found in 'tlmFftmi ikeogttilf:. r ': ! '• : " ; , “But;,tlio strangest of iill are the stories 1 told of the Dok'es, who live'among-the moist, warm bamboo Woods to tho south ref. Kaffa ■and Sosa. Only four feet high,' of a dark ol ive dolor, : savage arid naked; they' hiiVo ricith-. .or, houses nor temples,-n'eithfer'fire nOrhuman food. Theydive only dn'ants, hiteei: and ser pents. -diversified’by a'few-roots and frui s ; they let their'nails groit long, 1 like talons, the better to dig formnts,'rintLthe J raori!' easily to tear in pieces their favorite Snakes! -V - _ ’ • They do not marry.h 1 but :diybj-indisorimi natoly lives of aniirialsomultiplying Very rap idly, and with very little maternal ipstiact.;— The mother nurses her child fo'p'only a short time; riceustoming it tdteat ants and serpents as soon as possible ; find when-it can help it self, it wanders away where ft will," and the mother thinks no more about it.’ The Dokos are ■ invaluable as slaves',' and are - taken: in largo numbers.- - Tho.plave- hanterp: hold up bright,colored clothes aS'soon as-they dome to the moist, warm bamboo Woods whole these - hnmaiv monkeys' live- ahd'thb poor Dok'os can not resist the attraction offered by'such supe rior people! ardnnd'them, and are .taken in'thousands. - *ri>; . - In slavery they ard docile, Ctthehody obedi ent, vpitli a few wants and ekoelteiithoalth.— They have only one fault—a love of ants, mice and serpents,-and; a habit/cf speaking to Yer with their, heads’on the ground, and their heels in the air. ’ ■Yoritethoir'idoa bt'a supe rior power, to'Whbm they, talk; in tliistcpmicnl: nature when they arb ; dispirited,or iingfy,. or tired’of ants' pr.snakes,onnd-.longing.for un known food. . The Pokes seem ,to qpnid noar est to all peoplo.yptidisopverbd 'to.'ppit terri ble cousin of humanity—the ape.” vjij;*' Look Before You Rick. A minister in on of our brthbdox-ohnrches, while bn his wny'tb preach o funeral'sormoii in the country, called-to heo oho*of-his mom- - hers, an old widbiV'lady, \vhh* lived near the' road he was traveling, bid lady Had just boon hulking sausages,' and-aho felt •proud ul them, they were-sb piumh/'round and sweet. Of codrse!she ; insisted bn-'thb miniateritaking aomo.of the links home to.his family; asUoob-i jected oh account of his not'baving lhs port manteau ahmg.V This; was old lady; iiftbr, wrapping them in i'rag; care fully placed n bundlb in - each the ■preoller’s bapftcipi•> - 'While attending tb the iol'bhiA c'braaionies of the grave, some'hungry; dogs scouted, the sausages and were’hot'lohg in tracking them-, to the gbod'nian’s ’oVorooiit. course this was a great annoyance, and h'c wdAsbVeral tiiuesundo- the necessity of ■-■kicking-dhesb whelps away, ,-The ohaoquids dt-ipo-grave completed, minister andcoiigtegtttioirropaired to the church •wbbrbglie funeral’illsiSHfse was AA-a , After'this halted to make some renlarka to lub I‘imgrbga-, tion.whon a brother, who wished to have an appointment given: out; ascended'the piilpit steps and gave the-minister’s coat tt Hitch to get his attention. The divihbi.thinking it, a dog having a-design at,his,pnekot, raised .his foot, gave a sudden kick and sent the-good brother sprawling full length on the floor; “ You will excuse mo brethren add sisters,'”, said the minister confusedly and without look ing at the work he had done, “ for I could opt avoid it. I have sausages in my pocket and thakdog has been trying to grab them .over , since I came upon the premises.” Our readers-may judge of the effect such, an announcement would have at a funeral. ■ c tin Invitation to Dinner* Ik was observed that a certain covetous rich man never invited any one to' dine with “I’ll lay a wager., “I get an invitation from him.” ■ , • The wagcr ; being accepted,ho goes the next day to.tlce rich man’s house about, the time ho was to dine, and tells the servant ho must speak with his master, immediately, for ho can save him a thousand pounds. Out came the masterl “What is that, sir, you can save ino a thousand pounds ?” “Yes, sir, I can, but I set'you are at din ner ; I will go away,-and call again;” “Oh, pray, sir,'come in. and take dinner with mo.” , \ “ I shall bo troublesome.” ' “Not at all.” ' The invitation whs accepted. As soon ns dinner was over, and the family retired,” Well sir,” said- the ’man: of. the house.— “Now to our.business. Pray,lot me; know how I am to save a thousand pounds?” “Well, sir! I hear you have a daughter to dispose of in marriage.” : ■ “ I have, sir.” f - 1 “Aud you intend to porti.h 'uor with 'ten thousand pounds ?” • . “I do sir.” ■. ; "Why, then, sir," let me have her, 1 and I will take her with nine thousand.” The master of the house arose in a passidn, and kicked.him out of doors'. RoVal Povßnir.—The Icings, m'pst engaged in'win - wore always, Roof,, and 'sometimes ex cessively 50..,; Ed ward 111 pawned his j ewcls to pay for foreign, forces, and pawned his im : porial:orown throe several times, once abroad and twice to Sir John his blink er, in whoso custody itrdrdained no less tlifth eight years. The iilaek Prince, ns IValsiug ham,informs us, was.constrained, to .pledge his plate. .. Ilonry ,V. pledged his tabid, and. stool of silver \yhioh ho had from Spain, and, once his imperial, crown ; and Queen Eliza beth sold her yory jewels. i , . '' ', . Impure Watßr.-t—“ Sot a pitcher of watct in a roobaV arid'in a few hours it will have ab sgrbdd nearly all the respired'arid perdnirod gases in tho room, the air of which will have hboomo purer,,'hht the water Will bo utterly filthy. • 'iho,bolder the water is, the greater its capacity to'contain these gases. ° rl ‘i nary temperatures.' it will -absorb» P«“*. * carbonic acid gas, and a liirgo quantity of ammonia/ 1 Thfs’ capacity fu nearly:doubled W “cdhoing tho .water to the temperature pi toe -Hence watoriliopt m tho room a while l.'is ahriiv' 9 unfit for use.- r F -r tlm same reason A'bi’ty fSl’amlmbtii’er's gun'nmlltlie wutor-ilj [jjV* beforeVny is loaded it. bu.fwaa afnnd to howoyr.,,puitapofl « iro n^, er ”j B ul o°e’ injurious than or. liked the fuii of luftdiilg. lindro'put lnian-. used- P other’charge,- hut Was still ivtVaid'to' firo.'.r Hpjlnipui ' ■ - , ■ . kept on charging, r bufcwith.iut;firjiigiiuiitildie3 j i or y morning -we" outer A’pon ai now had-got six' ohargothin the'old t.PIJWWe. V| iliv carrying still au_mikn‘iwu future in its gj’andmiiWier,: learning-bis , toaaerOTi' i 'j )# y In ...‘Tlriughtainay dm bom to day, reproved him,'a'ud!gi’jisping the 9< .I j 'J,-,! i-;. hi V never my be extinguished. Ilipos till disobarg.itl.it; fYV°i'TT*,...Tor .aoS;i>>4- lo'eccite.l tii-lay.' which will-nmer 6x dous,'throwing, the inW' bj'W- i, 6 ;. f a nt.diut -pii'o. 1 'Aids may ho performed tiwlay, the ooh- Slia pliimptly s'rligg ,s: 'tiibre sequences of which may not he rdhliiod till % mure H&v «ff Vi 1 C3f The.following..is. brio of .the longest priuspa in donveVsatipp'oyer known. An old gentleman, ,yrhd. was vdpy, sparing'with his speech, was riding with his servant over Put noy.Bridgd, Tyhjoh ‘suddenly turning around to .his groom,, he sjuji,’.John, defyou like, tsggs V’ ‘‘ Yes, sir,, yyas, tlio reply.” ‘ iloro itho conversation dropped," , Borne year or so after wards, happening fo ridodVer the same bridge, h 0... resumed, the , copveraa’tion .by saving,' “flow?” “Poached? sir,’' was the Herp thp donydrsdtion terminated, " ‘ ! ;’> '• Tlic filtm Willi A siiiike in his Hut. -Dr. Dixon', in his New -York^ Sonthly Scc.l pdji states that a gentleman of, the “highest yorieity” feinted to him the following snake story; which bents anything that wo have read .lately ' !■ r ■ - doing into a very public ordinary for.-din nrrdio wris .surprised to observe the extra earO_with which a, gentleman who took the keatj opposite to him. took (iff his .hat ; ho . turned lifs hat ns nearly upside down ri'S pos sibljb without breaking his,neck; then plnc ingj his hand over the inside of hid lint, ,ho agntn, turned it, .and received its .carefully guarded contents, concealed by a pocket'hand kerchief, in his hand ; then gently laying the baepot Ids hand on the cushion; ho. slid the hat and its opntentp off and comenced his dln nerj The attention of my imt; and Ida sur prise gi'catly increased the friend was irresi stibly direct* towards; the reader may well imagine, on observing the head of a siezahlo. snake thrust out looking sharply .about him. The gentleman porcieving the discovery, ad dressed:. ‘‘iVly'dearpir, I was in hopes to have dined’ alone and not annoyed anyone with my poor' Allow mb to, oxplain. ho is perfectly harmless.; only : a common' Ijlack snake. I wild advised to carry him.op my head -for a fhopniatism ; I have done So for a few weeks and I am lively of a most ngoniz ingjmalady. -I;dare not ybt part with him ; thojmomory of my, sufferings is. too vivid; all myjoaro is-,to. avoid, discovery, and treat ray petjns well as'possible in his irksome confines ment. I feed him on milk and eggs, and ho’ doosmot seem to'suffor. -Pardon - mo for' the annoyance;—you. have my story; it is true, I nmghnnkful to the.informer for my cure, and to yon for your ebutesy in not leaving your dinner disgusted.’ . . A SWISE PASTURE, practice of good farmers differs in re gard to the pasturage of swine according to their varying: circumstances.' In the East, whore the country is densely populated, and pasturage is scarce,-.the prevailing'custom .is to keep, pigs in the pen for the greater part of the! year,' The best.farmers consider the pig. too valuable it laborer in manure making, to allow-him to waste his energies in romingthe field. f * '} 'Braedjng swine, both males and bows arc. allowed a,little;license in green pastures, but tho| rest of itlib herd, from the- ago 'of .two mohths until-dhoy aro ; slaughtered, ore kept ! in closo.poiis arid fattened as - rapidly,as • pos sible.,:-'.Under; this- system, .pigs,, from i ten month's to a year old are. niade to wpigh about three hundred pounds ench| and £o manufac ture about ten dblhifs worth of.nfaUurei ' The aystomia undoubtedly the best, where lilt the. pasture is. needed . fur coys and sheep and where large-quantities of.manure are.needed foritho hoed’erops. . * ’ v:. In the west arid' south', where land is cheap er! igood farmers rolyi mainly upon pasturage ,to']ieep their swine growing through the;suni mep, . In the newer settlements they; run al- ~rlic vvnods hiid> doriVade...tbj»-.U88.-mi>le, it Will he to till’ ... _ /- - - ■ .7 ;■ ■!' . Boiled Indian 'Podding.— Take 6 cups of sour milk, two eggs; 1 teaspoon, heaping full of salnratus;. 3. tnblespponfuls flour, 5 cups Indian meal, 2 tablespoonfuls molasses, ono lialf cup sour-cream. Raising, or dried fruit, improve'it very much. It is good either boiled or steamed. If boiled; it re quires a cup. more meal, and 1 spoonful more Hour .than when steamed. Simple Cure for Sore Throat. —The edi tor of the Farmer-and Gardener states that a gargle of salt and water has completely cured him of a sore throat and Rocking cough, from which lie had boon suffering for many years past. JOgy-Mr Smith, you said you once officiated in a pulpit; do you moan that you preach ed? . ■ “No sir: I held the light for the man that did.” “Ah 1 the court understood you differently. They supposed that the discourse cdmo from' you.” • ' “Mo sir! I only thfowed a little light upon it." - “No, levity, Mr. Smith. Crier, wipe your nose and call the next witnesss." 0I7” An old lady walked into the office of a judge of probate and asked—“ Are you the judge of reprobates?” “ I am the judge of pro bate”,ova's the reply. “ Well, that’s it, I ex pect,” quoth the old lady. “ You. see my fath er died detested, and he left several infidels; and I want to be their executioner.” Punnino—A gentleman, named Dunlop, being present .at a" party where one of the company had made several puns on thonames of persons present, remarked that ho had never herd his name punned upon,'and didn,t believe it could be done,' .‘There is nothing in the world more easy sir, replied the pun tser. Just lop off the name, and it is ,Dun. O' During the first four mounths of the year the British importation of foreign bread stuffs amounted to ninety mi lions ot dollars. In 1880, for the same period, there wore hut twenty-two millions five hundred thousand. . jJSyXho Empress of Austria has jioon at tending a Spanish bull light, in which eight bulls, eighteen horses and two men were killed, Sho withdrew, however, from the scene on the death of the fourth hull. O%hon the English Parliament began to coin uiqiioy. an old cavalier, looking on om of tho now poiocs, road this on tho oJ>° 6J“o: ‘■ God be With us,"on tho other. “ Tho Com monwealth of England." “X sep,” he, said, “God and tho Commonwealth are on different sides.” * .... - jy An old bachelor being ill, bis sister presented hini n oup of medicine. ■ • What is it?” ho asked/ ; Sho answered — , , , “It is elixir asthmatic, it is very arpman tic, and will make you feel ecstatic.” j “ Nancy,” he replied, with a smile, “ you life very sister-malic.” •. ' i: O" An Irisiimuri remarked ti> his compan ion' iih ohkefvin# a lady pnss, “ Pat, did .ydu oyer see aiwonikn ho lliin'us that before. i ‘■Thin,” replied the other, botheration,! seen a woman, thin as two of her nut togeth er, I liavtS.”, ■' J •- ■ COy Over one hundred thousand letters sent North from Washington week before la-f \w.i-tbirds tif them', wore written by our/sol diers. , , , ' 1 ‘ 1 '■ ' ■ wUjo is but the ghost it |hno no uody to il. " - ;> •> V - flnb "€n^3.' , Hot.— The weather. ', \ : ' 7BthyearAia said-;' to have yet to taafoitfio of-.lnwiioa 7 iing liquors'. ‘ ' \ . jviio 7 " in life may expect to bd brought one day\ tb'a *: •‘dead reckoning.'*' . . ' . . ‘ .the, Wisconsin, papers ,ouiin» that the wheat crop in that State this yoatf " ill reach twenty jhillidns.ot bukhiilsi Oh'dlT ! (C^.'fhe,public, speaker, who depends gaT rhetoric instead,of.logio,- fights with.bis open , n hand i'tUtead of his clenched fist. . 'V VV : '-r IC7*7yhy ia a married man like a. candle? * r r Because ho sometimes goes" out utuigbtwhoa ho ought not to. ■ ' ' • ■ .0* Tho boy who was caught looking'into the future, has been arrested for try iag-to see the’show without paying, ■ . , , , K7”“IIow did you like your visit to, youg - ■— sweet heart ?” Oh, I-don’t liko ilio footing, r with which ! m received by her father.” . _. DL7" The only lash that a man does not oh-.' joct to being laid oh Jiis shoulder, is, theoyb-'-l lash of a pretty girl: **” .’.!••• ’ believe, Mias, tlidt yeti tbibki am;" 51 as old as Old Time in the primer.” ' “ Yesj' ■' sir, older; you haven’t oven a forolack, f : - ;,\-‘ r ’AST A practical joker onghtto bo the best Of auctioneers—judging by, his success in sell* v . ing his friends. ■ . ' Ah empty bottle must coHanly bo i. very dangerous thing if wo may jud|bsfrom, the fact that, many a man has been fobm!—/ dead with one at his side.. . ... , , BSy Wheri shpridaii was asked at an ama- . teur play-which performer, ho liked , best he ’ replied,,“ThO prompter ; for I , saw less and , ’ beard more of him than any ohb else !”• I■ , ‘ A Scotchman visiting a church, yard with, a friend, pointing'to a ahady quict cook,- said, "This is the 'spot ■where I intend to be' laid, if I’ni spared”’ . . • DCT’A dancer once said to n Spartan; “Tea ’ cannot stand on one. log so long ns I can. J * Perhaps not,“ said the Spartan; hut any goose can.” JSQyTruo heroism consists in-passing the bottle when yoii see that there is hnt.one glass ' wine loft in it. , : •; £7”Xho Ocean, which is forever .Sounding, sometimes gets: sounded!. J _, . , 0”Tho inch who planted himself oh h'm ,j good intentions has net yet sprouted, , ~ Jo©“l'anlo -5s like hn eel—rather hard ;to catch and a good deal harder to hold. . JC3“By forgetfulness, of: injuries we show. •; oUrsolyos,superior to fheni,. ; •, .. Richmond; Va.,; City Council hah j of thoSouthera Confederacy. . i " refined and.-.ehastßj hoa beau-, ■;■ ty’S charm to minds of taste. ; . .. ~ V. n O”lh tho darkest hour of misfortune,dharc. i is a band to guide, ii love to save. : - ' Df7"Whcn.'malicious dames'gather 'at • tea ~ .i party Satan can afford to take a’snooze- , , • > i O“Many a nian keeps'op drlpking. till h». r. hasn't a coat to either his back'or.liia Stomach.;. ..' t 0“lf every man and: boy .were , to. get all ; , that they deserve, forests would soon run short of switches; ' KT'T’upper says, tis the horse and’ not.the wagon that wearies. But wo are very cer tain that wo have scon a wagon tired. ' - lE7“-A negro o'nob asked if his master was •, a Christian. '■ No, sir, he’s a member of. Con gress,” was the reply! O’ It is said that lion! Emerson Etheridge a candidate for Secretary Of the U. S.. Senate with a fair chdrice, of being chosen/ - Is;-'. I. * A celebrated author says that in sleep ‘ wo are especially open to heavenly influence. How about, the nightmare. ; ■ The firmest friends ask the fewest fa vors. - • - 0”A negro was once asked if hie master was. a Christian. ' “ No, shy he's a momborof Congress,”.was the reply. . • , f ]Z7"lfyod think you are loo,tall,.many,an ' extrvagtint wojuian, and you vvill yout-, v self short enough. , .. . ,■ i ~ CC7” An editor; down South- .. delay iutho issncof his paper, as ho had_an.es tra “male” to attend.to during the wofcifc" • Trineditorof the. Charleston Mefcyry pom-; plains" that his water pipe has been cut.' Pity" it hadn’t been his wind pipe.' ■ ■.-sat BSy* In selecting a lawyer pr '.doctor,'take? • ‘ one who has business enough to give him Bon fidenco, and not enough to make hiiii oaf7!T < T .. DC/” As there is much beast and,some .devid, , in man, so is there some angel diyiriifytn‘Uinj..V Tho beast and the 'devil' fphy b’e ,: oonriuered' , ‘ but in this life never destroy edv; J.% you love others;; they .will love you.. If you ppenk;kindly to theiri! they will speak;-' kindly, to youi . Lftvo is repaid wdth' love arid Knitted. Would yon hear a sweet arid pleas-: ' antlyy'diirsblf: , h ; ; ••• ' gefjtlng.cpmropnv! The, ~, capUiin nfn.eanal boat,put, Wept lip£ been., ] presented—with a service of‘five years' in'lne penitentiary, in consideration ot the dislin-l-n guished ability" with”whioh he~plnndored a. a passenger ahd'ti'okSd.hlin'hvertwaflC ,T."CC 05ri Ifjo'u’rni«xyt M '«al4'# Khmkn'otmidl to his son/” let if haw woman nyho ba&ahdgd* i; ment and'. : industry,;enaugh( tb;get-,a,, tppal.o^,,,•, taste peafe ; .’pfid«(i enough, to -wash before’TjreakXaet, and enyUjjh to' lU(fißiwwi^ v ' .Weßa si alio J ! F H '■ NO-7A': •w l'*'x