V
VOL/47.
AMERICAN VOLUNTEER.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY HORSINO BY
ioHS B. BRAXTOII.
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From the Knickerbocker Magazine,
TAB SHOW-FORT.
Id tho happy days of boyhood,
Five and thirty years ago,-
(Life’s golden age of joyliood-,)
■ Wo,built castles of the snow.
In the glittering drifts wo <iuarried,
And our mansion work was, rare,
As those mansions, many-storied,
Manhood fashions out of air.
Though our ramparts and our fosses
Might have,puzzled old Vaubnn,
What cared we, the utebin bosses,
For old fogy .mid and plan ?
Our outworks were the queerest
Ever reared by human skill,. .
But of names, we chose the dearest—
Every fort was Bunker Hill.
How tho parts of British leaders
Went a begging, one and all;
How we all wore earnest pleaders
For front places ou tho.waU!
Boys detailed for service foreign,
- in lino with clouded brow.
Each one clamored to bo Warren,
And none wanted to bo Howe,
Tho battle—ah! wo fought is.
Not at all by history’s light;
How the pesky English caught it,.
How they always lost the fight.
In despite of truth wo ohased them,
And to facts entirely blind.
As down the hill wo raced them,
How wo peppered them behind !
Thus we fought tho fight of'Bunker’s,
In tho days that knew no care,
Ere the snow wo tossed, as younkers,
Time had sifted in our hair.-
I Now, alas I in tho fierce battle
Wo wage daily in tho world, -
Harder shots against us rattle
. Than our boy-arms ever hurled.
• And 'tis not the generous tussle
. Oftho snowjuct on. thft ItimlU. —•
xpv ,fle Udstio u
■'~ -xvtlnilu bod y hut tho soul;
, Ami. instead of gleaming missiles,
Poisoned shafts fly to and fro,
> ■ ‘ And we march o’er galling thistlq?, .
Not the velvet of the snow J *
HURRAH FOR A CHEERFUL GIRL.
Hurrah! hurrah! for a laughing girl.
With a heart devoid of guile;
Hurrah ! hurrah ! for a rosy-check,
A bright amj bewitching smile;
Wo love to ga*o on such a oue—
There’s rapture in the sight;
Wo love tosee a aunuj' smile,
That beams all fair and bright.
Hurrah 1 hurrah! for a cheerful girl.
With roses in her hair;
Hurrah! hurrah! for a lustrous eye,
'Neath lashes light and fair;
For pensive feelings no*er disturb
The heart that's light and free.
And sorrow ne'er bedims the cyo
That beams with pleasantry.
Mmllnmm.
Id 1 Icorn from the Tomb of Washiuglon Flan
cd in Russia by tbe Emperor,
On the ,22d of February Gov. Pickens, of
South Carolina, (who was recently Minister
to Russia,) made a short address to a military
company in Charleston, in the course of which
ho' made the following happy allusion to the
universal respect for Gen. Washington:
_“ 1 remember while in a distant court of
Europe, and at the most despotic of all Gov
ernments, that on a memorable occasion I
visited the magnificent gardens that surround
Peterhoff, near St. Petersburg. The gardens
and grounds were dedicated to the enjoyment
and peaceful pursuits of the greatest and
most brilliant of courts. On a remote island
of these magnificent grounds that had been
set aside for the private enjoyment and pri
vate walks of the Emperor and Empress a
tree was pointed out to me in that garden
cultivated by particular and devoted hands!
surrounded by wire wicket work, and flowers
flourishing all around it. There stood on one
branch of the tree a large brass plate, and
on one side of that plate,ln German, and on
the other in Sclavonic, was written, 'this tree
P ln 3 °’ V Nich olas. from an i
a^ton^%Ci a “V°“ b °. f the B^at
that txof l placed there hv n- ln r Cr .! Ptloa Upon
solute rulers that ever *o 6 ab r
Empire. And yet in hTs Ci^L °f
gardoua ho paid this deep and heartfelt’S
“***« mi jmory of the greatest and purest
m&D th© world over saw, ■* • - i
. " l d *®- d \ < * no ‘ ‘ ake an acorn from near the I
it Anm f ib he at E l‘ ZabetK : nor he take
it from the garden of the Tuilleries. grown in
felt t h l XlV ’ DOt diahe take
did b ° f , tho S rcat Napoleon ; nor I
d ‘ d .otake ‘t from the garden of the Cmsars
tomb ofT ’ bUt t - Uo , k; an ncorn from the
Of^n? fl f rb.r re | aU n ia tho wilds
W ‘° had planted tbe seeds of a
wovornment consecrated to tho freedom and
Pfe wl« d® nC °n° f i at!oDB ' whose,every prinoi-
Fts dl a° tly at war with ‘he principles of
that even this mighty monarch, in private and
Ufe^Thl/ 0 I,im hi * heartfelt onf deep trito
!sn^sssigsi&
‘ho etoTlLT^rld. branChC3 Bhall overspread
a ad‘tlm Vnf S ° S r°u tb ° oossack of ‘he Don
ftttsala and sa/$ a / * kayo,scon tho Lancers of
Arab in the - th ° . Tartar and ‘he
withstanding*!? S ‘h° interior, and yetnot
‘hey conver« fi n som .>-h a rt>arian life, even
«wir tort?!! °- be “‘Shty Washington in
*ho world that h' ebt ' re is no portion of
>ovo and admi™ t “ ard of his na «°> and
Elects and “nue^ Ercat and man 'y fr-‘h-
Am mean lUUnnlrrr.
JMml.
BY JOSEPH BARBER.
DOCKS IN SUMMBB,
There is doubt of ite being true, and its a
good one, if I can hit on the right way of
telling it;
Aaron was a tall, strapping fellow, near
seventeen. You never saw a more suscepti
ble youth. Being good-looking, thogirls were
all cosily smitten with him.
’ They used to flock out to the country on
Friday evenings. Talk of a colt I There is
no such romp as a town girl turned loose in
the country. She races, shejurops, she climbs
trees, shaking the wild berries down upbn the
timorous beaux beneath her. Oh, she is the
most beautiful, winning, delightful creature
in the world.
Mose was much younger than his cousin;
he knew Aaron was taking on about that
haughty lass, May Stelton. And May was
in love with Aaron.
May, and Troup* and Sue, and Kate all
came out on Friday evening, with Moseis sis
ter, Angelina, - Mose got off early Saturday
to let Aaron know. Aaron was for running
over to his aunt’s.
"No," says Mose, “bring the gun; the
woods ore full of squirrels.. We might kill a
dozen walking the two.miles,”
Tho road led along the creek hank. Aaron
was in a brown study thinking of May. Mose
was looking up in tho tree tops and among
the bushes, anxious for a pop at something.
It was the shadiest and quietest of places.
So far and no game.
“Lets leave the road n bit, and go to the
head of the creek,” said Mose. “ It’s, so out
of the way nobody ever disturbs it.”
“ We’ll see something there!”
And they did. Let it be July 24. ]
“ What' is ■ it?” 'asked Aaron, aroused a
little.
Mose put his hand to bis ear
“ Ducks—the biggest kind !”
“ This time of year ?”
“I see ’em.”
“Give me the gun.’
“ No—couldn’t think of it.”
Klick, klick.
“Well, blaze away; they’ll fly if you go
nearer.”
“ The bushes are in the way,” said Mose,
bringing the! piece down with his shoulder,
“Shoot anyhow!” insisted Aaron running
U l>- .
“ It’s the girls in a swilnmin'
They sat down like, snow flakes. They
were white as the petticoats strewn on the
pebbly beach. Their teeth chattered. Along
Silence. At last’ Aarod lobked slowly around
at Mose with the meanest sort of counte
nance. Moso’s face, as he returned the
glance, was a regular sheep looking one.
“ Can they find it out 1”
“ I reckon not, if wo are sly.”
“Let’s climb up; tho tree, it leans right
over them.”
They .crept along like snakes. They reach
ed tire tree. Mose being the lightest, gave
the gunto,Aaron,.and climbed far pnfeioneja.
nest : Aaron wasn't sb'lngh. ; -~ -r :^**^=- ' .
It was a pretty sight, of course. You’ve
read of nymphs, syrens, etc. ? They couldnlt
compare. Hair loose, and fldnting on the
water, arms, etc. f glistening in the water, j
Kate was he white as snow. Sue was plump
as a partridge in pea time, and sat in the I
waves like a bird in its nest. ' Troup was i
slim all over with a few exceptions.
Aaron promised not to look at Angelino if
Mose wouldn’t wink at May. Impossible!
Angeline sported gracefully like a native of
the element, and May was a black-eyed hour!,
coleur de rose, from top to toe, They splashed
and paddled, and chatted like mad.
. T |ie tree began to shake. Aaron had a ter
rible back ague, and Mose began to smoke
and burn, commencing at the ears.
There was. a larger noise than usual among
the unconscious bathing beauties. Aaron
stretched his elongated neck, atthe same time
hitching the gun forward. . Unfortunately the
the trigger caught in a vine, and went off with
a deafening report. It was the climax of the
1 adventure, Mose tumbled,, from excitement
[ into the creek, plum right between Sue and
Kate. The gals—they dove badly,
and up the bank, their white retreating forms
gazed at by the eyes of the, fish hawk that
had pounced among them. They are robed
in a twinkling, but not one with her right
dress on. .Aaron dashed into the woods.
There was a terrible scream as he ran right
into, their midst. All ran in different direc
tions, and came dropping in one after another
at Mose’s mother’s.
■ The boys took a long turn into the woods,
and did not get back before night. They
said they had been deer hunting, and hadn't
seen the creek.
The girls appeared to believe them.
A Colored Man Leaves bt Will Monet
to Purchase a Chicd.ln Slavert. —A color
ed man named Richard Bruce' died a few
months since in Boston, leaving by his will
about SHOO for the purchaser of one or more
of his children in slavery. He was an old
man and having purchased his own freedom,
and_ that of his wife, a few years since, had
by industry and economy laid by this sum.
Since he became free, Columbus Bruce, the
husband of one of his daughters, had his free
dom given him, and wont to Boston. The
case became' known to some citizens, ■ who
made a contribution of funds, and a leading
merchant went to Maryland and purchased
his wife, who came leaving in slavery her
only child, a boy now about sixteen years old.
P-. y- Pelton,’ Esq;, has been appointed ad
ministrator of the estate, and upon inquiry,
leansthat Richard Bruce leaves several chil
dren in slavery in Maryland, all having fami
lies.
There not being money enough to buy a
whole family, dt is proposed to purchase the
child of Columbus Bruce, and negotiations
are now pending for that purpose his mis-:
tress being willing to sell him in consideration
of Ins being fat and lazy. Until recently, ho
was held at $1,50(h but he is now offered at
$1,300. As the will g vos no authority for
the purchase of a grandchild of the deceased
the necessary authority for this diversion of
the funds, must be procured from the Supreme
Court or Legislature.
K7”The wise carry their knowledge as
they do their.watches—not to display, but for
their own use.
. js estimated that upwards of 300,
000 Americans are for thatime being resident
in Europe, and that their, Joint annual expen
ditures thene are $250,000,000.
K - The reason why they find so few rhi
welirhide'd ® ecauao the y’ ro s 0 temarkbaly
J n “cottage,” is very well when
uteres” oottn B e ’ and have money out at
i, A Dutchman thinks “ honesty ish de
poor ’ ,110107 ’ but>t k66pS a mtm woshttam
A Game mistake.
Many of our readers remember tho stotely
presence, the dignified hearing and imposing
manner of Col. William C. Preston, of South
Carolina. It was when, all those qualities
J*ere in their prime, and Preston represented
his State in the Senate of the United States,
that business or pleasure called him to the
West, and to take passage down the Missis
sippi river. In those “flush times," the
steamers swarmed with hoosiers, greenhorns,
and gamblers, tho latter politely designated
“ sporting gentlemen,” the term gambler or
“ blackleg’ entailing from the speaker a pis
tol shot or a wipe from a bowie knife.
The boat was on the eve of departure, and
eiir Senator, standing on the deck and hold
ing a email mahogany box, was observing
with great interest and pleasure the busy
scene on the wharf, when an individual; lux
uriating in a rather ornate style of dress, ap
proached him, and in a subdued tone demand
ed:
“ I say, old feller, when are you going to
commence ?”
“Commence what, sir!” asked the aston
ished Senator.
“Pshaw! npne of that gammon with me!
The fact is, a few of us boys want a little fun,
and we won’t pile on too strong for you ; so j
come and open at once.” ..I
“Really, sir,” replied Preston, “I am to
tally at a Joss to guess your meaning; open
what?"
Open what! Why the bank, of course.
May be you think our pile isn’t large enough
to make it an object. But we’re not so poor
os all that, anyhow !”
The Senator meditated gloomily, hut all
was dark to him, he was plunged into a sea
of doubt, and he had never met any problem;
not even a political one, so hard to solve.
“ Perhaps,” broke in his pertinacious friend
again, after a considerable pause, “ perhaps
you will say directly that you are nota sport
ing man.”
“ I certainly am nothing of the kind, sir,”
replied Preston, rather angrily; ” and I can’t
imagine what put the idea into your head.”
“NobS sporting man? Whew-w! I never
heard of such a piece of impudence I Well,
if you are not a sporting man, will you please
to tell me why you carry that about with
you?” and he pointed to the mahogany box,
which he still carried.
, A, light broke on Preston’s mind. “ The
mahogany box 1” he cried. “ Ha! ha! ha!
hoi—very natural mistake, indeed, my good
sir! very natural, indeed 1 my good sir; very
indeed! Well, I will show you the contents.”
And laughing heartily,, he opened the box in I
question,’ which was in fact a dressing case,
and displayed the usual parade of brushes,
combs, razors, soap, etc., which usually fill
that article of traveling comfort.
Our friend looked at the case, then at Pres
ton again. Then he heaved a long sigh, and
then he pondered. 7 ,
“ Well,” ho broke out. at JLencth. ‘‘ L did
wj uc u, sporuug geliiioijTHn—l uiu^l
but now I see you are a barber; but if I had
known it, d—n mo if X had a spoke to you.”
The Garden.—Should the weather prove
favorable, it will not be long until we will be
gin to turn our attention to the garden. The
first thing to be done, if not. done last fall,
will be td clear off all old plant stalks and i
everything else that don’t properly belong to
the garden plot. After the surface has been
cleaned, take your barrow and puton as much
well decomposed inanure or compost as you
think is required to bring the soil up to a pro
ductive condition. Spread the manure over
the ground) and let it remain until you are
ready to spade the ground.
A good gardner will know how to at
tend to the proper spading and bringing the
soil to as fine condition as can be, for on this
depends, mainly, on any soil, the growth of
root crops and all else.
It is all wrong to expect good results from
Slants that have to labor to get their ■ roots
own to moisture below. Make the soil as
fine aa you can. Many a poor seedsman has
had' all the blame laid on him because the
gardner saw fit to put the seeds into a cold,
wet soil.
Before planting, see that the soil is warm
and moderately dry, and then the seedsman
will escape the censure that should fall upon
the one that plants. Seeds planted in a cold
soil, if they germinate at all, will have no ad
vantage over seeds planted while the soil is in
proper condition.
Peas, onions, radishes, lettuce, and a few
other seeds and roots may be planted as soon
ns the above conditions can be brought about
by the sun and March winds.
The following good joke occurred not
long since in one of the churches in the west
ern part of Onondaga county;
“An aged :clergymnn, speaking of the so
lemnity attached to the ministerial office, said
that during the whole term' of forty or fifty
years thatlie had officiated therein, his grav
ity had never been but once disturbed, in tbe
pulpit. On that occasion he noticed a man
directly in front of him leaning over tbe rail
ing ®f ■ the gallery with something in his band,
which he soon discovered to be a huge chow
of tobacco, just taken from his mouth. Di
rectly below sat a man fast asleep, with his
head pack and his mouth wide open. The
man rn the gallery was intensely engaged in
raising and lowering his hand, taking
an exact observation, till, at last, hav
mg got it right, ho let fall the quid, and it
wont pmmp into the mouth of the sleeper be
low! The whole scene was so indescribably
ludicrous that for the first and last time in the
pulpit an involuntary smile forced itself upon
the countenance of tne preacher.
, DC?” A dispute about precedence once arose
between a bishop and a judge, andaftersome
altercation, the latter thought he should quite
confound his opponent by quoting the follow
ing passage ‘For on those two hang all the :
law and the prophets.’—Do you not see, said
the lawyer, in triumph, that even in this
passage of scripture we are mentioned first ?
I grant yon, said the bishop, you hang first.
DC'”‘Mind, John,’ said a father to his son,
if you go out into the yard you will wish you
had stayed in the house.
‘Well; if I stay in the house, I shall wish I
was out in the yard: so where is the great
difference, dad 7’
A lady at Jaynesville, N. Y. had a
narrow escape from death by a pin which she
vyas holding in her mouth dropping into her
wipd-pipe. Her agony was terrible; but
skillful surgical aid was at hand, she was re
lieved.under the influence of chloroform, by
opening the throat and extracting the pin af
ter an operation which occupied three hours.
K@r "Is them old follows alive, now 7” said
an urchin to his teacher.
“ What old persons do you mean, my dear ?”
** Paul, and Luke, and Deuteronomy,
and them.’'
“OUR COUNTRY—MAY IT ALWAYS BE BIQHT-BUT, RIGHT OR WRONG, OUR COUNTRY.”
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 14, 1861:
The female fiend is seen in all parts of the
country. Sho is confined to no especial locali
ty. In the church—on the sidewalk—in the
lecture room—-amid a: party of girls, or in the
company of matrons everywhere, you .will see
the female fiend. But she delights above nil
things to. squat down' by the hearthstone, and
spit her venom in the very bosom of Home.
The female fiend does not resemble those
devils who’ ore delineated in old picture books.
Sho has neither horns, • nor cloven foot, nor
forked tail. She wears the exterior of wo
man, and very often a neatly dressed, modest
looking and smooth spoken woman, Her
voice is.low and persuasive. She sets homes
on fire with a hint. She' separates .husbands
and wiyes with a lie, cleverly told and well
spiced with , expressions’ of affection. She
rakes up old family quarrels—knows every
thing bad that has happened to every man
and woman in the neighborhood within twen
ty years—and it is her work to plant hatred
in the Home, suspicion among friends, and
discord on earth wherever she goes. .The fe
male fiend may be .virtuous, (os far os the
body is concerned) or she may ,be unchaste,
but her soul is the soul of a-prostitute. She
has a low opinion of; her .own sex. She be
lieves every woman ; to bo ‘in heart a rake,'
therefore she lets no occasion pass with doing
her beat to make it appear that Miss Jones is
n corrupt girl, and that Mrs. Smith is an un
chaste wife. She is always sure that Mr.
Smith never goes out with good intentions;
nay, she is satisfied that he goes out to mingle
with the abandoned, - She knows matters
about this one and that one which she cquld
tell if she would. If she would tell, the roofs
would come off the houses—only she don’t
choose to tell. So dekterous a hinter is the
female fiend. , .
The female fiend is found everywhere. She
does a large business Ip asmnll neighborhood.
She spits . and brimstone in country
towns. In the city, she is more circumscribed
in her operations; .but even there she
manages to drive a brisk traffic for the good
of her master, the Devil. She works more
mischief in the world than any prostitute,
gambler, or murderer, that ever lived.. She
cultivates lying into a business, and makes
slander one of the fine.arts,; Avoid the
female fiend. Shun her in church—at the,
evening party—on .the sidewalk—in the
Home—shun her as. you would cholera or
murder. Keep her out of the company of
your wife and sister; for the sake of all that
you hold dear, never permit your family to
come within the circle of the female fiend.
As a matter of curiosity, let ua ask you,
reader, have you a female fiend in your heich
borhood ?
Yes, I am a man ; apd tvoo is me for hay
ing been such a little fool when I was a boy I
I hated my books, and took-more pains to for
ray kssons than ever I did to learn them:
"1H ■asNSSEWSf
book thumblcd and dogeared, and cried over
—the very emblem of duncehood. “Do,
Charles, learn you lessons," said my father
( or you will be fit for porting when a man.”
Charles, give your mind to books, or I
shall bo ashamed of owning you formy bov *
sa.d my poor mother. - But no; I must give
I W mind to whipping tops and eating cates,
and a fine scholar they made me! Now there i
was Fred Jones, he liked play well enough, j
but he liked rending bettor;.and ho.learned
more out of school hours than I did in them.
I'rcd Jones, is now, like myself a man, but a
very different kind of m man. He has made
friends among the wise, the honorable, and
the learned; I cannot 'be admitted to their nc-1
quamtance. He dan interest a whole com
pany with useful information; lam obliged
to be silent, or talk about the weather or my
neighbors. I can make out a bill of parcels,
but 1 blunder over n letter to a friend. I see
my error now, but is mo late. I have no time
to read for I must work for my daily bread;
to rofit ** me
behold the bitter fruits of idleness in child
hood.
ID" ‘Come Here, my little lad,’ said an At
torney to a boy about nine years old, ‘A case
is between the devil and the people, which do
you think will be most likely to gain the ac
tion ? Theboy replied -‘I guess it will be
a hard squeeze; the people have the most
money, oat the devil has the most lawyers.'
O'A little boy, kneeling at his mother’s
knee to say his evening prayer, asked leave to
pray in his words, and with a childlike sim
phcity said; ‘God bless little Willie, and
don t let the house burn up ; God bless papa
and mamma; God bless mo, and make mv
boots go on easy in the morning.’
Grave Joke.—-A wag going through a
grave-yard, observed on one of the stones the
lollowmg lines:
■ lanrnow, eo you must be, ’ ‘
Prepare for death and follow mo.”
He took out his pencil and wrote below:'
« To follow you I'll not conflen^
until I know which way you wont,"
I®, Flour is-a very useful article'in its
place; but wo don't like to see young women
rubbing it on their faces. Doubtless many of
them do it more for the fun of the thing tfmn
to improve their good looks, but . then it is
mighty mean fan, considering the high price
of flour.
BSaf* Some of the postmasters recently ap
pointed in the seceding States decline to take
thooathto support the Constitution of the
United States. The offices will be discon
tinued.
' young lady remarked the other day
that she would like to do something so as to
have her name appear in the papers. Wo od
yiseher to got some one to put his name in
with hers. '
A Yankee bragging of having killed a
panther whose tail was three feet lon*. Brown
replied the was long enough hot
to bo continued/'* °
The Game op Life.—ln youth hearts are
trumps; in manhood, diamonds and clubs, bnt
at tho close of life spades is sure to win.
little fellow one day non-plussed his
*if r k? waking the following inquiry;
Mother, if a. man is a mister, ain’t a woman a
nnstery V r ■
ItT* *Ay ell, Susan, .what do you think of
married ladies being happy V
‘Why, I think there are more ain't than
there is that ain't.'
Slanders, issuing from beautiful lips,
are like spiders crawling from tho blushing
heart of a rose.
jjgy** Pride sleeps in a gilded crown —con-
tentment in a cotton night cap. ■ ’
The Female Fiend.
in Idle Boy.
I was
A Sabbath-School Incident,
At a meeting in Exeter Hall, London,
where there woe a vast number of Sabbath-
School children.assembled, a clergyman arose
on the platform, and told them of two bad lit;
tie boys whom he had once known, and of a
food little girl whom he afterwards learned to
now. This little girl had been to Sabbath-
School, where she had learned ‘to do good ev
ery day/ Seeing two little boys quarreling,
she went np to them, told them how wickedly
they were acting, made them desist from quar
relling, and in the eiid told them to attend,
Sabbath-School. These boys were Jim and
Tom. ‘Now children,’ said the gentleman,
“would you like to see Jim?’
All shouted with one voice, ‘Yes, yes I’
‘Jim, get up !’ said the gentleman, looking
over to another part of the stage. A rever
end looking missionary arose and looked smi
lingly upon the children.
. ‘Now would you like to see Tom ?’
‘Yes, yes 1' resounded through all the
house.
‘Well, look at mo—l am Tom, and I too
have been' a missionary ' for many years.
Now, would you like to see little Mary
Wood?’ ■ . J
The response was even more loud and earn
est than before,‘Yea?’
‘Well, do you see that lady over there in
the blue silk bonnet ? that is little Mary Wood,
and she is my wife I?
The Man Who Despised Whiske* Drink
ers.—lt was on one of the river steamers, -at
dinner, that an amiable matronly lady remark
ed; m the midst of conversation with a grave
looking gentleman on the subject of temper-
‘Oh, of all things' in the world, I despise
a whiskey drinker!’ The gentleman dropped
his knife and fork, in the ardor of his feel
ings, extended his hand, and took hers with
in his own, and with an emotion that threat
ened tears over the loss of.ruincd sons, he re
plied with faltering words-, ‘Madam, I respet
yoiir sentiihents and the heart that dictated
them. I permit no one to go beyond mo in
despising whiskey-drinking. I have been
disgusted .on thiavery boat, and I say it now
before our worthy captain’s face. What, I
ask, can be more disgusting than to see weli
dressed, respectable and virtuous looking
young men; whoso mothers are probably even
how praying that the tender instruction by
which thejr youth was illuminated may bring
forth precious fruit in their maturity; I say,
to see young men step tip to the bar of this
boat, and, without fear of observing eyes,
boldly ask for whiskey, when they know that
there is in that very bar the best of cognac
brandy 1’
An Accommodating Yankee.—A double
bedded Toom does not mean, in the States, a
roomwith two beds, but a bed with two per
sons in'it. During the great embargo, I hap
pened to be in- Charleston, S. 'C., when the
landlord proposed to me to sleep with a dirty
totmgwofflcorb- 4-
Tf I cannot have a separate bed; I-profer
sitting by the fire dll night to sleeping with
■that Russian 1’
Ts he a .Russian, sir ? said a tall, thin, in
quisitive Yankee, that stood listening to the
conversation ; Ts he a Russian V . I’ll take
him, then, if it pleases you,, stranger. I
should rather like it, for I never slept with a
Russian.'
A Pleasant Picture.— The local editor of
of the Petersburg Express is a young man of
teste, but he suffers it to run away with him.
For instance: '
“ What a lovely picture a young lady pres
ents,"says he ; “on a cold morning,-with all
her winter fixings, on, coming -down town, at
a brisk speed, innocent of any intention what
ever other than being comfortable and looking
pretty! A eweofc little, bonnet,' daintily
trimnied with brown ribbon, and on the in
side with a delicate white fur, tied on with a
neat bow; a soft, downy comfoiter, encompas
sing enough of her neck to disclose a little of
its snowy purity, and gracefully descending
in front; a tunic of dark brown, or a mantle
of black cloth, and two little jet black gaiters
underneath, peeping, like mice, in and out,
and completing an ensemble sufficient to
make a susceptible youth feel like spending
his last ten in a ring, gift books, a marriage
license, and the minister. Cheap !"
Remarkable Fact,—-The day after Christ
mas last, a lady in this city became mother to
a fine and healthy girl child. There is noth
ing startling in this fact, nor calculated to. ex-,
cite comment. As usual, mother and child
did well,, and progressed in health and
strength. But two weeks afterwards the
same lady was again the mother of a
child, a fine boy, who is also flourishing, as
well ns the doubly-taxed mother. This
circumstance, although of extreme rarity, be
probably .the second well ascertained case
of the kind in the United States, is one which
is known til medical men as having occurred
before, and is accounted for upon clearly as
certained physical grounds. —San Francisco
Herald.
o ~y A priest, proceeding to tho chapel one
Sunday marning through the burial-ground,
observed some sprightly girls seated on a
tombstone, and wishing to bo jocular with
them, asked what they were doing there.
'Nothing at all, plaze your riverence,' was
the reply of one of them. ‘Nothing 1’ said
he. ‘What,is nothing?’ ‘Shut your eyes
yonr riverence,’ retorted one of the girls, ‘and
you’ll see it.’
A, grand jury down south ignored a
hill against a hue negro for stealing chickens,
and, before discharging him from custody, tho
judge bade him stand reprimanded; ho con
cluded as follows:
“You may go now, John; but (shaking his
finger at him) let mo warn you never to ap
pear here again.'' John, with delight beam
in his eyes.lThd with a broad grin, display
ing a beautiful row of ivory, replied; “I
would’t bin here dig time judge, only do con
stable he fetch mo." j
The Richmond Enquirer says, whether
‘Virginia is safe for the Union’ depends upon
whether Black Republicans make the Union
safe for Virginia. I
Cgy When a housekeeper is lost so deep in
thought'that she sprinkles the boiling clothes
with salt, and puts the flat iron into the soup,
it is time that she paid more attention to do
mestic cookery and less to the lastnorol
C -
What do you think of a young lady ;
whose lips are so sweet that she is obliged to.
wear a veil whenever she goes into thogardiWjf
to protoot them from the bees. —Exchange pa
per.
Think f Why, that she should have some
one to take care of and call her ‘honey.’
O’ Don't rivit a blacksmith's attention by
•Von-icnllj heating his temper -with the asser
tion that he will/orys and steal, for fear you
■will get hammered and rolled out.
Speech of ei-Fresident Tyler at the Fence
Conference,
• Ex-President .Tyler, on taking, his seat as
President of the Conference of the States,
at Washington, said:
Gentlemen :—>l fear you hare committed a
great error in appointing me to the honoable
position you have assigned me. The country
is in danger—it is enough—one must take
the place assigned him in the great work of
reconciliation ahdadjustment. The voice of I
Virginia has' ■ invited her co-Statea to. meet
her jn council. In the initiaton of this Gov-*
ernment that same voice was heard and com
plied with,' and the results of seventy'odd
years have fully attested the wisdom of the,
decisions then adopted. Is the urgency of
her call now less great than it was then?'Our
god-like fathers created—we have to preserve.
They built up, through their wisdom and pa
triotism, monuments which have eternalized
their names. You have before you, gentle-,
men, a task equally grand, equally sublime,
quite as full of glory and immortality. You
have to snatch from ruin a great and glorious
Confederation, to preserve the Government,
ond ! to renew and invigorate the Constitution..
If you reach the height of this great occasion.'
your children’s children will rise up and call
you blessed. Yes, Virginia’s voice,"as in the
olden time, has _ been hoard. Her sister.
States met her this day at the council board.--
Vermont is here, bringing with her the mem
ories of the past, reviving in the memories of
all, her’Bthan Allen and his demand for the
surrender of Ticonderoga, in the name of the
Great Jehovah and the. American Congress.
New Hampshire is here—her fame illustrated
by memorable annals, and still more lately
as the birthplace of him who won for himself
the name of Defender of the Constitution, and
who wrote that letter to John Taylor which
has been enshrined in the hearts of his conn*
trymen, Massachusetts is not liere—(sonio
member said she is coming)—l hope so, said
Mr, Tyler, and that she will bring with her
her daughter Maine. I did not believe it
could well be that the voice which, in other
times, was so familiar to her ears, has been
in vain. Connecticut is here, and she comes,
■ I doubt not,-in the spirit of. Roger Sherman.'
Rhode, Island, the land of Roger Williams,
Is here, one of the two last States in her jeal
ousy of the public liberty, to give in her ad
hesion ti the Constitution, and among the
earliest to hasten to its rescue. The great
Empire State of Now York—represented thus
far but by one—delegates to day a fuller force
to join In the groat work of healing the dis
contents of the tipies, and restoring the reign
of fraternal feeling. New Jersey is here,
with the memories of the past covering her all
over. Trenton and Princeton live immortal
in story—the plains of the last encrimsoned
with the heart’s blood of Virginia’s sons.—
Among her delegation I rejoico-to recognize a
gallant son of a signer of the immortal Dec
laration which announced to the world that
thirteen Provinces had become thirteen 1 inde
- ponclontand sovereign States.-- And here, too;
is Delaware, Jho land of the Bayards and the
Rodneys, whose soil at Brandywine was moist
ened by the blood of Virginia's youthful Monr
, roe. Here is Maryland, whose massive col
umns wheeled into lino with thosn of Virginia,
iq the contest of glory, and whose State House,
at Annapolis, was the theater of a spectacle of
a successful commander who, after liberating j
his country, gladly ungirthed his sword andJ
laid it down upon the altar of that country.
Then comes Pennsylvania ; rich in revolu-.
tionaay loro, bringing with her the deathless
names ofFranklin and Morris, and 1 trustready
to renew from the belfry of Independence
Hall the chimes of the old bell, which an
nounced Freedom and Independence in form
er days. All hail to North Carolina ! with her
Mecklenburg declaration in her'hand, stand
ing erect on thd ground of her own probity
and firmness in the cause of public liberty/
and represented in her attributes by her Ma
son, and in this assembly by her distinguish
ed sons at no groat distance from me. Pour
distinguished daughters of Virginia also clus
ter around the council board, on the invitation
of their ancient mother, the oldest, Kentucky,
whose sons, under the intrepid warrior, An
thony Wayne, gave freedom of settlement to
the territory of hersister, Ohio, and extending
his hand daily and hourly across La Bell Ri
viere to grasp the hand of some one of kind
red blood of the noble States of Indiana and
Illinois arid Ohio, who have grown up into
powerful States already grand, potent, and al
most imperial. Tennessee is not hero, but is
coming—prevented from being hero only by
tho floods which have swollen her rivers.
When she arrives she will wear the badges
on her warrior crest of victories won, in com
pany with the Great West, on many*nn en
sanguined plain.*and standard’s torn from
the hand of the conquerors at Waterloo. Mis
souri and lowa and Michigan, Wisoonson and
Minnesota, still linger behind, but it may be
hoped that their hearts are with us in the
great work we have to do. The eyes of the
whole country are turned to this hall and to
this assembly in expectation and hope. I
trust, gentlemen, that you may prove your
selves worthy of the groat occasion. Our an
cestors probably committed a blunder in not
having fixed up every fifth decade for a call
of a general Convention to amend and reform |
the Constitution, On tho contrary, they have
made tho difficulty next to insurmountable to
accomplish, amendments to an instrument
which was perfect for five millions of people,
but not wholly so for thirty millsons. Your
patriotism will surmount tho difficulties, how
ever great, if you will but accomplish one
triumph in advance, and that ia triumph over
party.. What is party when compared to the
task of rescuing one’s country from danger ?
Do that, and one long shout of joy and glad
ness will resound throughout tho land.
Tixe Drover’s Trick. —lt is said there nro
“ tricks in all trades," and wo believe it. Hero
is a dovolopomont in this direction, which the
reader can add to his present stock of facts
proving the truth of the old adage. I
“ Never bu jo fat pig at Brighton," was
the advice given as by one who had been
there.
“ And why hot n fat pig?"
“ Cnuso you sob thoy fat ’em too fast for
the. Brighton market sometimes."
“ flow so?"
" IV’hy, you soo, some of them west country
dealers fetch thoir pigs in, pretty nigh skin
nml hone. Well, afore Fair day they gives
'em corn and salt—no swill—no water. Next
day piSs is amazin’ thirsty. Then the ser
pents gin ’em just as muoh water as they kin
drink. The pigs puts into it, and keeps a
drjnken’ and drinken.’ 'Sposon on an aver
age they swaller about a barrel apiece. That
wakes em look all filled out and sleek and
heavy, I toll you. But there ain’t no heart
and substance in it. You car’ one of them
critters homo and calculate you’ve got a bus
tering’ pile of pork, but jest you look in your
hog pen next mornin', and you won't‘find
nothing but a hog frame, skin an’ bone, and
dear at that. You can’t tell mo nothin' about
fat> pigs; I’ve been there, and I’ve seen ’em
manufactucd I”
dDbba nnb
, BD Running—Suckers. - ,
, .3D The best part of beauty is that Which a
, picture cannot express. ,
BD Words-of good-advice, or truths attehd
in season, are seldom thrown, away.
. CD Life is short,, therefore should be well
and usefully employed. ,
OD If thou become offended, lot not the sun
go down, upon : thy ,Wrath., ... ~
, CD* A good deed done In a day is .satisfac
tion to the soul.at night.
■' BD Kind words alleviate misery and are ns
a halm to the afflicted.
OT?* Pray unto God for nll men, for they
are all members.of.one femily,
BD The Prodigal Son* was a Scripture case
of secession. He* commenced With arrogance
and ended in a pig pen !
BlT*The Governor* of- Massachusetts has
given orders to- the troops of that State to hold
themselves ready for active service.
•HD Mouths—an instrument to some people
of rendering ideas audible, and to others of
rendering jiotua)s.iuvii?ible. .
BD Tim People of Tennessee have decided
to remain iiohe Union, by an immense raa*
Jonty, ,
■' BD Whep-you negotiate for a house having
alj the modern improvements, you Will gener
ally find that a mortgage, is one of them. '
BD* The most direct method of determininS
horse power—Stand behind and tickle his
hind legs with a briar. . *,
OCT* Butchers are generally very honest
men; yet,they are known to be influenced by
a propensity to steel knives, .
BD An. editor of a patter in Indiana Wants,
to know if. Western whisky was ever seen
" cornin’ thro’ the rye 7” i r
CD) Araiecrly old fellow ,has hit upon an
experiment to save candles.' file Uses " the
light jjf other, days,,”.
01?" “ Peter; Ore yeti- into the .sweetmeats
again?” "No, martn; the Sweet-meats ore
into mo.”.
DDTThe fellow .who got intoxicated with
delight has been turned out of the temperance
society.
(Dr The Immense appetite of London is fed
every -year, by • about 270,000. oxen, besides
30,000 calves, I,6oo,oooSheep, 30,0000 swine.
CD* If a man could be conscious of ttll that
is-said-of him In. his absence, lie . would, prob
ably become a very, modest man, indeed!
. BD* ;* My lad,” said, a lady to a boy carry
ing the mail, tv are you-the mailboy?'' ;“Yml
dosen’t think I’m a female boy; does ve
ma’am?” * ■■■.. : f
CD Not a word more of reproaches—forget
and forgive. ? Revenge is but.aij instant grat
ification—but forgiveness is a pleasure for
life*
I BDI/phraim says that oven as the pudding
should be well diverted of its bag before eat
ing, so n stranger should be well known be
fore trusted, .
5D A mnn;bpasting.in a company of Ind ies
that he had a vory.luxurioua head of hair a
lady present repm.rkcd that- it was altogether
I owing to th© mellpTrnosa <pf the soil,
BD The shortest man we ever hoard of,
was one, who, when standing on his feet, had
to look up to examine , the blaokning on hi*
sbocsi ... ° ,
BD I d just like to see you," as the blind
™ an said to the policeman when he told him
he would take him to the station house if he
did not move on.
CD Among, all my boys,” said an old
man, ‘ I never had but one boy.ypho took af
ter me, and that was my son, Aaron; who took
alter me with a club.”
I BD* The Lafayette (Ind.,) Courier warns
people against taking “ spurious notes on the
Boone County Bank, as they are no better 1
than the genuine.”
! CD Wife, (complainingiy,)—“l haven't
more than a third of the bed.” Husband,
(triumphantly,)—“ That’s all. the law allows
1 1C r. To c “ re poverty—sit down and growl
I about it. By so doing, you’ll bo sure to get
rich, and make yourself’particularly agrees- ■
Die to every body.
BD It is a strange way of showing our hum
ble reverence and love for the Creator to be
perpetually condemning and reviling ovorvD
thing that ho has created.
CDMorrit is never so conspicuous os when
it springs from obscurity, just as the moon
noveriooksßu lustrous as when it emerges
from'a* cloud. “
CD* An Irishman, who was engaged at a
drain, had his pickaxe raised in the air just
as the clock struck twelve, determined to work
no more till after dinner, let go the pickaxe
and left it hanging there I
CD* The Great Salt Lake lies at an eleva
tion _0f_4,200 feet above the level of the sea.
and is 70 miles land. When if* waters even-:
orate, they Ivave a deposit of about two inch- :
es thick of saline matter.
1 O' If girls would hare roses on their :
- cheeks, tlwy must do as the roses do, go to.
sleep with the lilies, and get up with the
morning-glories. But theif Wo should notlik#'
1 them to sleep in quite such dirty bods.
O' Some queer follow who has tried 'em
says : “ There are two sorts of wine in Stutfc- ’
gard; to.dnpk one is like swallowing an an
gry oat; the other like palling the’animal'
back again by the tail.” • ,to
. one blamed Dr. Marsh fnr ohanc*
ing Ins mind. “ Well," said he. that’s thud®
terenoe between a man and a
jackass can’t change his mind, and a man
can—it s a human privilege.”
..-mT Said a I cer , ta,n individual to a wag,-
The man who has raised a cabbage’ hem!
has done more good than all the metaphysi
cians m the world!” "Then," replied the
mu’” Ur mot ier ou g' lt 10 have the premi-
, }? m inconstant ns thou art. O
child of imperfection, how ennst thou he hut
fVn!iti» n "“h lnconatanc y connected with
frailty ? Can there bo vanity without infirm
ity ? Avoid the danger of one, and thou ahalt
escape the mischief of the other.
A Warn-iko—Young ladies should never
go to church merely with the intention of
having some gentleman escort them home. ■, It
is also bad policy to have a different one
ry Sunday night.
NO. 40.