American volunteer. (Carlisle [Pa.]) 1814-1909, August 05, 1858, Image 1

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    I
AMERICAN VOLUNTEER.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING BY.
John B. Biaiton.
p
tB
t
/■V,
i - ' TERMS.
■«te nfl _ n „TpTiow,—Ono Dollar and Fifty Cents,
Tiro Dollars it paid within the
Shlr-' ahd Two hollars and Fifty Cents, if not
paM wUhin tho " terms will bo rig-
Mlv adhered to In every instance.. No sub
acHnrton discontinued until all arrearages are
Sunless at the option of the Editor. •
*ADvia TI3E)IK!)TS — Accompanied by tlio cash,
and not exceeding one square, will ho inserted
ithroc times for One Dollar, and twenty-flvo cents
(or each additional insertion. Those of a greab
(cr length in proportion.
' Jon-FniNTiNQ —Snell as Hand-bills, Posting
jills, Pamphlets, Blanks, Labels, &0., &c.,oxe
nited with accuracy and at the shortest notice.
futiral,
, MIGHT SONG.
#“
I>r WILLIE E. PABOB
Tlip evening’s sort shimmer
" Is falling around—
Anddow, like a mantle,
, Descends on the ground.
The last gentle sunbeam
Has faded away—
Which tthged for a moment,
: Slade, blossom and spray.
if
Tiio'robin’s last carol *
Has died on the air, "
Like the incense of south,
. As offered in prayer.
The dove and the blue bird
. Have sunk to their nest.
Their twitter is silenced,
.They’re safely at rest.
The glade and the heather.
In silence serene,
Rest under the moonbeams
, That fall on the scene.
The rill’s gentle ripple
Sounds soft on the ear,
Like the sigh that succeeds
The fall of a tear.
The far distant murmur v
Of Ocean is home
On the breath of the wind
■ ■ Through the, silence forlorn;
Andiar to .the nor’ward
Aurora appears.
Like the Genii of love
. To calm all. our fears. .
The sigh of the mourner
Is stilled and low,
For the angel of sleep
Is staying all woe.
The head of the sleeper
. Calm halos susround,
For angels, good angels.
In vigils ate found.
Ob! groat is.tlio Author,
Tho God we adore—
And may. mortals bless Him
And praise Him the more.
Who gives us all blessings
That hover around, ;
And watches the sparrow ,
That falls to the ground.
DARE TO STAND ALOSM.
’Be flrmj bo boldj bo strong, be (rue,
And dare to stand alone;
Strive for tho right, what’cr you do,
Though helpers there are none.
Nay, bend not to tho’awelling surge,
Of popular sneer and wrong; .
’Twill bear thee on to ruin’s-verge,
With current wild and strong.
g Stand for. the. rights Humanity
Ie ’ Implores with groans and tears,
Jte Thine aid to break tho festering links
||| . That bind her toiling years.
Wm Stand-for thc right! Tho 1 falsehood reign,
|j| And proud Hps coldly sneer,
' A poisoned arrow cannot wound. .
H A conscience pure and-clear.
W Stand-for.tho right!-and with clean hands
W Exalt the true on high ;
Tliou’lt find warm sympathizing hearts
! Among tile passers by.
I Mon who have seen, and thought, and fcjt—
I ' Yet could not hardly dare
ft The battle’s brunt, hut by thy sido
Will ever dangers share. .
ji Stand for the right!—proclaim it loud,
I * : Thou’lt find an answering lone
li Xu honest hearts, and thou no more
iße doomed to stand alone!
~ Mmllmmm.
THE MODERN YOUNG LADY.
The public are experiencing a vast number of
f Sensations now-a-days on the much agitated
. subjefct of Woman. Her rights—her wrongs—
■ her troubles and her trials, are being sounded
1 forth from the brazen lungs of scores of Wo
man's Associations, Ameliorating Conventions,
. and Debating Socielies, Now, is it not right
~.. and fair tluu somebody should hand down to
I posterity an exact daguerrolype of the fair
creature for whom all the revolution is being
Wrought ?
We are not going to portray the ideal Wo
men of essayists and poets—nor the angelic
Woman to whom rhymers address florid effu
sions in execrable blank - verse —nor the real
woman, whose pure and unwearying devotion
burns unheralded beside the hearth of Home—
simply tAe modern youngludy, whom you may
meet in nearly every dwelling in New York —
ay, and throughout the United States, too, if
you choose to seek for her.
One might think, from the frequent allusions
to ‘frqsy cheeks" in our national litcrature.thal
we abound in such natural advantages,but that
isn’t the case. The complexion of the modern
« young lady isa dull lead white—like tallow, or
!;i'.,discolored wax—her eyes look as though they
g had been boiled, and are about as devoid of ex-
f l,l '; preasion as the optics of any wax doll in a shop
: window. Her hair, which she generally wears
in a profusion of bushy ringlets, is screwed up
if in bits of old newspaper all night and half the
next day. Her lips are pale, and her teeth are
C: black and decaying—the result of eating too
% much candy, cloves, a.nd cardamon seeds, of
kr which the modern young lady generally keeps a
good supply in dier. pocket. Her shape is “ex-
V •"'"""■'—So »n otir female friends say—by
>i which we understand that she is tall and slim.
J\,like'ah overgrown celery stalk, and about as
large around the excruciating waist ns thedia
—wof a moderately.sized bean pole.
is ‘extravagantly fond of reading;’ knows
rofi and Tom Jloore by heart, and peru
ihe yellow covered literature as fast ns it
from the press. Indeed, she sometimes
poetry herself, of whiclt we can devise no
comparison than a quantity of thrice di
iilk. She considers Shakespeare a bore,
iorial reading “makes her head ache!’’
health is extremely delicate ; strange to
te is almost martyrized with those horrid
dies in the morning Whenever she lias
! and sipped water ices until midnight the
; before. ; She is otliicted with “strange
i" and unaccountable fluttorings of the
and any little excitement throws her into
hysterics. Ofodurse, the modern young
oh't believe in daily exercise—it would
death of her to walk a half a block, im
ire-isa prospector meeting Theodore Ex-
and thenaho will walk
- 'without a mur
. fat**
<quieitexm Croau**.,.
palfvvay down to tine Cattery »»..
i'if'she thinks it vulgar to know anything about
Sltouschold duties; never was In the kitchen out
§P|>r£P* andthcn saw & spider and nearly fainted
! sho don’t know whether soup is made
frying pan or a tea kettle ; cant make
fmimm M I Q *■ BJr 18,, I t|B B B ' ' - H. ’
II J f >( 3 f|i S I li B-
BY JOHN B. BBATTON.
YOL. 45.
bread; don’t know the use of a dish pan, and
couldn't roast a turkey if her life depended upon
it. It is so refined to be ignorant on these sub
jects! ■
She never sews—this part of the household
economy, together with the kitchen responsibil
ities rests upon the much enduring shoulders of
her tired looking mother, who never coriiplains,
however, for “Arrabella is so genteel !• If a
button comes off the parental garments, Papa
never thinks of asking Arrabella to sew it on.
If Peter’s toes make a breach in the stocking
department, he never dreams of requiring his
sister’s .aid; and if you asle where the mother
is, you are told she is repairing Arabella's
clothes!
She dotes on music—spends three or four
hours every day on strumming bn the piano,
and warbling sentimental ballads;. she draws
divinely, and there are several monstrosities in
crayon and water colors, hanging up .framed
and glazed on the parlor walla in everlasting ev
idence of her genius."
She makes wax flowers and does crotchet
work. • She was “finished” at Madame —r -’s
fashionable seminary, where she learned to
speak ungrammatical French, and to dance so
“sweetly.” There’s no denying that she has
received “every advantage.”
She can’t bear the country—it is so dull and
stupid—she abominates a quiet domestic eve
ning at home, because it is so prosy! When
her weary old father asks her to play a tunc for
him, she disposes of the subject summarily and
sharply, “she is too tired;” but when Mr. Bev
erly Brainless comes in a few minutes, after
ward, rendolent of Frangipanni and rose oil,
and repeats the request, she replies with, smil
ing alacrity, and sings and strums until you
would think the piano was coming literally to
pieces."
She goes to church, regularly every Sunday,
bearing a prayep bpok bound in gold and velvet,
and while the preacher is preaching, she takes
ah inventory of every bonnet, dress, and collar
in the sacred edifice; she should think Mrs.
Jenkins would be ashamed ,to come week after
week in that old-Lcghorn bonnet: is sure that
if /ter father- was as rich as tho Misses Atkins’
papa, she wouldn't wear those horrid dyed
over silks to church—wonders why Tom Sea
ward don’t look this way; and is forced to
have resource to her smelling bottle when the
two poor Miss Browns go by her. pew ;in neat
gingham dresses. , llow vulgar! She never
thanks any gentleman who gives up his seat to
her in a railroad car—is very angry because the
infirm old gentleman who sits next to her don’t
squeeze himself up into a fraction of no room at
all to give her crinoline a fairer field, and puts
perfumed handkerchief to her aristocratic nose
if simple calico approaches her rustling silks
and gossamer lace! Adores children whenever
she con get up a picturesque effect by so doing,
but is very cross to her little brothers and sis
ters at home..
The modern young lady always grows deli
cate as the; Saratoga season approaches, and
talks about melancholy dooms and early death.
VVherefipori papa leeks incredulous—he’s been
caught more than once in that trap 1 But he is
at length subdued by a skillfully gotten up se
ries of hysterics, vapors, sobs, and entreaties,
■and Miss Afrabella goes oft to Saratoga, while
, the rest of . the family economize pitifully at
home, and an extra wrinkle grows by degrees
on papa's forehead, down In his dusty counting
room on Pulton strfeet. .
Here she meets a young gcnllcmnn equally
well stocked with sentimentality and silliness;
She falls in love with his distingue graces and.
liyacinthine curls; with his quotations of Alex
ander Smith, and his agreeable conversations
about the moonlight, music, and so forth; and
he with her aptitude at the redowa and the sim
pering smiles with which she listens to his
whispered nothings. After a series of prelimi
nary softness, he falls on one knee in a roman-
tic manner, and declares his everlasting pas
sion.
Then follows an episode of white ribbon,
shopping, snow colored kid gloves, and orange
blossoms, and the young couple,, both of whom
know about ns much as an intelligent calf,start
hand on the journey of life. How they'lb get
along as travelling companions, wo leave the
public to imagine.
Reader, this is an accurate delineation.sketch
ed from real life—don't you admire the exquis
ite character of our Modern Young Lady?—
Life Illustrated.
The Stub-Tocrl Boots.'
A certain party, whose names it is unneces
sary to mention, were camped out West near
the Des Moines improvement. They had a
large tent fitted up very comfortably, and the
Iloosiers about there were in the habit of drop
ping in and making themselves perfectly at
homo. One afternoon, one of the party, O.was
sitting straddle of a trunk, with a glass before
him, shaving,, and a pair of stub toed boots sit
ting on the trunk before him—not such stubs
as the fancy used to wear, but different in eve
ry way. You may form- some idea of their
shape by the doctor saying that the “shoemak
er who made them was too poor to buy a last,
and therefore must have made them over his
lap-stone.” 0. had not.been engaged over five
minutes, when in comes one of the hoosiers.and
leisurely taking a seat, commenced taking a
good survey. After endeavoring to draw out
one or two of the party, and finding “no go,”
his gaze 'at length rested on pur friend O.’s
shoes. Thinking he had a good subject fur
discoursing on, he said:
“I say; stranger, how did the toes of them
’ar (pointing to hisshoes) ever git drawed up
so 1”
C. got up and. looked at him a minute, and
then, in a rather unpleasant tone of voice,
said:
"Sir, I drove the toes of those boots,.ns you
see, by kicking men out of this.tent for asking
I lupuuvuv tjupovivov
The fellow did .not stay a great while after
lhat, but moved out witlahis face towards 0.,
with bis,eyes fixed firmly on the great stbb-toed
boots. .
K 5” An absent wife is thus advertised for :
“ Jane, your absence will ruin, all. Think of
your husband—your parents—yburtf children.
Keturn—return—all may well—happy. At any
rate, inclose the key of the cupboard where the
gin is.”
K 5” Hero is a sum in addition for you to
work out. It will require dilligonco and caro,
and admit of no wasted time: Add.to your
faith, virtue; to your virtue, .knowledge j to
knowledge, temperance; to temperance, pa
tience; to patience, godliness; to godliness,
brotherly kindness; to brotherly kindness,
charity.
IC7“ Let every young person bear in mind that
the government of the passion is, of all things,
the moat conducive of happiness and prosperity.
Remember that fools only allow their passions
to nils-— suffer much rather than fight.
0: 7- “ I say, Mick, what sort of potatoes are
those you are planting?” ‘‘Raw ones, to bo
sure —your Honor wouldn’t bo thinking I would
plant boiled ones
V- ■'
“I tell you, sir, that Mr. Airblast is nothing
bat a windbag—l wouldn’t give two strawsfor
his opinion!”
“And I tell you, sir,” snapped the “Indepen
dent,” “that if he be, the fact proves nothing
against his success. The only question is,is he
a bag of the right soft and of the right size? It
is very easy for you and I to sit here and call a
fellow a wind-bag, (as we. know ho. is.) but as
far as 1 can judge the world wants wind more
than anything else. It don’t seem to need peo
ple who thoroughly investigate things, looking
at all sides of the question—but its railroads,
banks, parties, churches, and so on. call for
wind and superficialness continually—for some
body who can swell and fume and,bluster,mak- ■
ing a grand spread and appearance for a while,
until his wind bag collapses, and he sinks to
his proper level, through the lack of genuine,
substantial merit and backbone. It is this
world’s insatiable taste for wind-bags, my dear
fellow, that causes such a crop of ill-managed
corporations* half-baked merchants, incompe
tent mechanics,-and over idolized ministers.
The world is sure to take these people, for a
time, at their own estimate, and is terribly dis
appointed when the wind of their favorite es
capes, as escape it will.if they live long enough.
But in their palmy season they are great men.
There is nothing that they can’t do, nothing
that people think they can’t do. They lead
folks by the nose, wheresoever they Will, blind
leaders of the blind, and they generally tumble
themselves and their followers into some ditch,
or other more or less disagreeable^
No.'niy boy, it is no use to sneer at a man as
being a bag of wind, unless for your own pri
vate satisfaction; fori tell you he is just the
thing the world wants in most cases.. Nay.
there are times when wind is really uselul. I
have known people with scarcely twb ideas in
their heads, but wilh the peculiar sort of wind
that the case required, who not only attained
wonderful success in certain ways, but who
maintained themselves and their wind to the
last, and finally died uncollapsed ornaments to
society. Practically, it is no more a demerit to
be a windbag than to be a man, if one can
judge by immediate results and outside opin
ion. Wind bags do most of the world’s work,
after some fashion brother, and it is very pro
per they should have the world’s good word
and as much of its money as they can get and
keep. To be sure, they are ,only wind bags
after all
So saying, the “Independent” stumped-oft,
striking his cane against the pavement at every
stop. —Boston Post., .
, A Brave Young Uncle.
A correspondent of the Pittsburg Post relates
the following touching incident: “As. we left
Pittsburg in tho cars, we observed a small boy
named Stitt, about 12 years of age, poorly
clad, but very intelligent, having with him an
infant ten months old, the child, of his sister,
who'died a few weeks ago. The, lad brought
the infant from lowa city, where the mother
died, and was on his way to Harrisburg. Tho
young uncle had oared for arid nursed it all the
way —a weighty charge for one. so; young,... It
would not, perhaps,"have been so much remark
ed had a young girl been the custodian of the
young babe; but here was a mere babe putting'
away childish things,'and assuming all the
cares and responsibility of a parent, during.a
journey of a thousand miles at' least. The pas
sengers manifested the greatest interest in the
little wayfarer and his charge, the ladies espeo-.
tally in turn relieving the lad of_his burden, as
he appeared to be almost exhausted with his
long journey. Such constancy and manliness
in one of such youthful years is nqtoftcn exhib
ited, and certainly well deserves "the name of
heroism.
Bodgin' Hie Hatter,
. The St. Louis papers are telling a good story
of an individual who purchased a hat in a store
of a tradesman named Dodgion. The article
was got in the absence of the proprietor, and
the purchaser left the store, entirely forgetting
(by mistake, of course) to pay for the aforesaid
‘tile.’ The trader, upon hearing the (acts,
started for the levee in hot pursuit of the delin
quent. Upon overhauling him the following
scene occurred:
“See here, sir, I wish to speak to you.”
“Move on.”
"I am Dodgion, the hatter.”
“That’s my fix.”
“I tell you, I am Dodgion, the hatter."
“So am 1,.l am dodgin’ the hatter, too—and
very likely we are both of us dodgin’ the same
chap.”
■ The scene ended with a ‘striking’ tableaux,in
which Mr. Diddler found himself considerably
‘mixed up’ with “Dodgoin, the hatter.”
A Letter for Dennis.—“Hillo. Misther
Postmaster, and is there iver a letter here for
Dennis O’Flatherty ?”
“ I believe there is,” said the postmaster,
stepping back and producing the letter.
“ And will you be so kind as to, rado it to
me ; seein’l had-the misfortune to be edicated
to rode niver a bit
“To be sure,” said the accommodating post
master.
He then opened to, read the epistle, which
was from the “old country,” concerning his re
lations, &o. When he had finished, Dennis ob
served-:
“ And what would you be axin for tho post
age on that letter ?”
“Fifty cents.”
“ And its cheap enough your honor, but as I
think of axin ye to trust, just kape the letter
for pay ; and say Misther, if I'd call in, one of
these days, would j’e write an answer to it?”
, aJ~ A rCffmmio young lady fell the other
day into the river and came very near drown
ing. but succor being fortunately at hatid, she
was drawn out senseless and carried home-
On cuming to, she declared to her family that
she must marry him who payed her.
V Impossible,” said her papa.
“ What, is he already married ?”
“ Wasn’t it that interesting young man who
lives hero in the neighborhood ,
“ Dear me, .no—lt vyag_thaJJewfoundland
dog.”.
O” A writer in Blackwood says that every
man who is not a monster, a mathematiciao.hr
a mad philosopher, is a. slave of some woman.
0°'"“ I’m afraid I shall comb to want,” said
an old lady to a young gentleman. ‘.‘ I have
come to want already,” was the reply. “I
wan’t your daughter!” Tho old lady opened
her eyes. , ,
Happiness. —There are two' things which
will make us happy in this life, if we attend to
theip. The first is never to vex.ourselves about
what we can’t help: and the second, never to
vex ourselves about what we can help.
OCT* An ill-natured editor says the women all
use paint and bo sets his face against it.
“OtJB OOHNTBT—MAYIT ALWAYS BB BIGHTT —BUT BIGHT OB WRONG, OUB COUNTRY.”
CAR
WIND DAGS.
isle; -pa;, THURSDAY, august 5, jsss.
DAILY DUTIES.
Our daily paths 1 with thorps or flow its
"We can at will bestrew them,
What bliss would gild tho passing hours
Xf we but rightly knew them.
Tho way of life .is rough at ibest;
But briars yield the roses,
So that which yields to joyjand rest,
Tho hardest path discloses.
The weeds that oft we’ve east away,
Their simple beauty scorning,
Would form a wreath of purest ray,
And prove tho best adorning.
So in our daily path, ’twero well
, To call each gift a treasure,
However slight, where love can dwell
With file renewing pleasure !
A EOMANCE,
Some fourteen years ago, an Englishman,
named Mark Knight, married Cborlotta -,
in Syracuse, N. Y. Mark, at tho lime of his
marriage, was fifty-four years of ago, and. bis
wife aeVnteon. One child—a girl—was tho
fruit of this union. She ,was : namod Charlotte
Elizabeth Kingdom Knight. About the time
tho child was;a year old, Mark Knight got a
divorce from bis wife for.adnllvy, and the court
decreed to him the care and custody of thq
child. Tho old man was in very modofats cir
cumstances, yet' ho provided well for bis little
Charlotte, clothed her, as handsomely as lijs
means would;permit,.and when she had attained
proper ago, sent her. to school;
On tho 4th of July, 1855, the school to which
Charlotte belonged bad a picnic. She was
dressed for the occasion, and accompanied the
children to file woods; but she never, returned
to. her father’s house. Her mother, since Mrs.
Bruce with the .aid of some of her relatives, ah
ducied tho child, and bringing her to Cleveland.
took board , in. a, family, named H , who
figures prominently in the latter phase of this
story.
Sometime in the year 1857,' Mrs. Bruce went
tp Cincinnati, leaving Charlotte in charge of
this man H——-, who seems to have conceiv
ed for her, young as she is, a passion as violent,
as unfortunate. Sometime afterwards, Mrs. !
Bruce fearful something might occur whereby,
she might loss her child, wrote to Charlotte to
‘•come to Cincinnati.” Charlotte did not go.—
A few days afterward, Charlotte received a lej •
cgraphic dispatch announcing the death of her
mother, and requesting her presence at the fu
neral. She was persuaded by H not to
go, and did not. . She was',greatly surprised a
day or two subsequently, at the appearance of
her mother, not only alive, but lu excellent good
health. Mrs. Bruce prevailed upon tier daugh
ter to accompany her to Cincinnati, and Mr.
and Mrs. Bruce and Charlotte, together left for
that city. i
But the indefatigable H-—; was not to be
shaken from the pursuit so easily. lie had ac
quainted himself with 1 the circumstances of the
girl’s history; and written to her father Mark,
(who had unsuccessfully exerted himself to dis
cover her whereabouts,) and bad obtained from
him legal power to retain Cluirlolto in his cus
tody. Before this document, waa in his posses*
aion, however, ho had got out ft warrant tor the
arrest of Charlotte, on the charge of stealing
IromTiim a gold ring, valued a{.S4‘. This war
rant was placcd in thc hands oFCMcf ol police,
•TVhito; whovproceedCd ' To Cincinnati
and arrested the girl. . ■ ,
. While,in the cars.on fheirretprri,'boprocured
■from her.a full ’ statement of fhe circumstances
of H ’a attachment for bei. ahd also a to
tal denial,of (ho arri
val of the parties at ClevelspidJ'they repaired at"
once to the Mayor’s office, and XI failing
to establish Ids accusation against her, she was
discharged and remanded inter"the custody of
her mother. The tables were now effectually
turned upon Mr. H , and, in order to save
the costs of a charge of malicious prosecution
ol the girl, and the penally of-A sti.il graver of
fence, ho paid into the bands Of the mother and
her husband, $2OO in cash. This occurred on
Tuesday last,- and Mrs. Bruce made arrange
ments to return, with her husband and daugh
ter, to Cincinnati) by the first train on Wcdnea
daymprning.
The same evening (Tuesday) the power of
attorney, giving H tho custody of Char-
lotto, arrived iby mail., II at once got
put a Writ of habeas corpus for the person of the
girl, which was served about 5 o’clock, A. M.,
of Wednesday, At 9 o’clock the. same morn
ing, all the parties appeared before Judge Til
dbn, and the case was continued to Friday in
order to allow the presence of the father, Mark
Knight, who had been telegraphed to .at Syra.
cuse, tho girl remaining, in the interim, in tho
family of Judge Tildon.
At 9 o’clock yesterday morning Mark Knight
Mr. and Mrs.;Bruco and Charlotte were all pre
sent at Judge Tilden’s Court. Tho major por
tion of tho facts recited above transpired in the
evidence given. The case was rested by the
counsel without argument. In giving his deci
sion, the judge adverted to tho moral peril of'
the girl either in possession of the mother or
ll———, and to the spares she had already es
caped. Tho daughter Charlotte was not willing
to elect between her parents, but tho Judge, in
view of the circumstances, and with reference
to the best interests of the girl, delivered lier
into the custody of her father, Mark Knight.
Of course the mother cried biiterly when tho
decision of-the Court was rendered. The
daughter was also deeply affected, and in part
ing with her mother yesterday afternoon, when
about-to depart for- her now home in Syracuse,
showed the intensity of her love by tho violence
of her grief. We hope her future life may in
some degree atone for tho troubles she has ex
perienced in the past. She is evidently a girl
of much more than ordinary intelligence, and
with proper training will make a good wo.
man.
A Man Huno Himself in Fun and Hung in
Earnest.— The Hamilton (Butler CO., 0.,) in
telligencer of the 14th, says:
“A very sad affair transpired at Princeton,
near onr city, on Thursday last. A Mr. Daniel
Elliott, who lived in Princeton, butchering
beeves and selling them in the neighborhood,—
hung himself in the slaughter house; He was
in an exceedingly good' humor during the day
andlTVbning, and naturally of a playful disposi
tion, gave vent to it by many playful things.—
Ho had Bought some cattle, had extended hla
business, was doing well, and felt lively and
encouraged; Ho so .expressed himself to his
wife anid friends. ... , ~,
■ Going from the bouse to his stable bo fed bis
horse, and taking his little girl and a neighbor’s
little boy, some thirteen years old, ho wont on
about twenty-flvo yards from his hpuso to the
slaughter bouse. Hero was,-a machine for rais.
ing dead cattle—a rope with a large hook in It
run over a reel and attached to a windless l with
a ratchet. Adjusting the rope in a noose n
round his neck, ho playfully bid the. little girl
to go tell her mother ‘somebody was hanging
out there who looked like Dan Elliott.’ Then
showing the boy exactly how many notches, be
bid him, still laughing, to draw him up. The
boy did so, and'drew him off. his feet. Once
up ho could not, because pf the ratchet, got him
down again, and when, in answer to the little
girl’s anxiety, Mrs, E,-came out, her husband
hung dead, his foettouching tho floor, and the
hook pressed hard against his jugular. From
all tho circumstances, it is not doubted that tho
act was done accidentally in a burst ot playful
ness.”
Hy ‘‘Comoin out of tho wot,” os tho shark
said when ho swallowed the little negro bojr.
Uoltuitffr.
A Visit to tLe Hermitage.
Mr. J. W; Kelly, who was one of tho dele
gates to tho Nashville Conferencg, publishes in
the Yorkville Enquirer, the following account
of a visit to the Hermitage:
Early in the session, the South Carolina Del
egation resolved on a visit to the Hermitage,;
where Jackson lived, died, and is buried. It
is a fine old homestead, situated on the south
ern bank of the. Cumberland, about eleven miles
nostheast of Nashville. Wd invited, for the
sake of variety and good cheer a couple of la
dies—one little boy, Jonio Stones—and four,
outside delegates, viz: one from Virginia, one
from Tennessee, one from Missouri, and anoth
er from Louisiana—and took along with us a
fine specimen of the peculiar institution in the
person of Adolphus, from Georgetown, who
generally attends Annual Conferences with
Key. C. Betts, tmd as his body servant was al
so in attendggee at the General Conference.—
Thus, IS'Ttnlll, in four handsome and comfort
able coaches, with a liberal basket of lunch—
(and to tell tho whole truth, a nice little box of
cigars, though I don’t touch such things)—we
started at oho o’clock oh tho 3th, hot of Janua
ry but of May; and rattled away for the hermi
tage—to many the Mecca-of -the South: as T
hope Mount Vernon will, ever be to all Ameri
can lovers of their country. . A two hours drive
brought us all safe to a fins old country scat,
away from tho public road about a quarter of
a mile in toward the river. You enter from a
lane or cross road an iron gate—stone’ pests, X,
think—and then up a gravelled oedsr avenue—
it should have been hickory—and halted at-the
front of a venerable old mansion now occupied
by the family of Mr. Jackson, an adopted son
or nephew of the old hero,
. John, the old General’s body servant, os he
told us, during both Presidential terms; was
soon forthcoming.. Dr. Wrightman, as our
chief, sent in a card, end we soon had tho liber
ty of the halls, and parlors,; gardens and '
grounds, and plenty of fresh water. Wo all
sat down in an antique chair, said to have been
Washington’s, and given to General Jackson *
by Mr. Guslis—may be. It evidently apper- ■
tained to another generation; nevertheless, with
leelings of reverenc«*ar.d as well r.s of curiosity,
wo looked upbn.it, sat in it for a moment, hav--
ing the honor of so doing without being in any
wise rested. Paintings on tho walls, quaint
and tasteful gifts on the shelves and tables
there were, but I am no connoisseur, and there
fore will not attempt a description, especially
as I made no notes at the time. The General
and his wife lie buried under the same plain
tomb; at the northeast corner of the garden, be
tween the dwelling and the public road ; “life's
fitful fever over, they sleep well”—both haying
died in the faith and hope of the Christian reli
gion.
Fact and Fancy,
Thero is only one bad wife in the world, and
every crusty husband thinks that she has fallen
to hislpt.
Somebody has written a book on the art of
making people happy without money. Wo aio
.in an excellent condition to be experimented
upon.
‘‘Sally,’’ said a young man to a damsel, who
bad red hair, ‘f keep away from me, or yon will
sot me afire.” “No danger of that,” whs tho
answer, “you are too green to bum.”
Tho woman who undertook to scour. the
woods has abandoned tho job, owing to the high
price ol soap. The last that was hoard of her
she was> skimming the sea.
Take a company of hoys chasing butterflies ;
put long-tailed coats on The boys, and turntho
butterflies into guineas, and you have a beauti
ful panorama of the world.
Tho man who planted himsoli on his good in
tentions has not yet sprouted.
An editor acknowledges the receipt of a bot
tle of brandy 48 years old, and says, “ This
brandy is so old that wo very much fear it can
not live much longer.”
An old bachelor of ninety-eight, who is halo
and hearty, gives as a reason for his youthful
appearance, that ho has ever remonstrated a
gainst having anything to do with that which
tended to niar-age, ’ ; " •
It is staffed that one of the editors of tho
Lewisburg Chronicle, soon after ho .went to
learn the printing business, wont to see a prea
cher’s daughter. Tho next time ho attended
meeting, he was considerably astonished at
hearing tho minister announce as his text, “My
daughter is greviously fonnohted with a devil.”
At a Virginia prayer-meeting, the choiristcr
being absent, tho presiding elder, whwuj name
was Jeeter, called upon one of the deacons and
said, after reading a hymn,
“Brother Moon,
Will you raise a tune ?”
Tho deacon lifted up his voice, but, instead
of singing at once, ho inquired,
“Brother Jeeter,
What’s the metro 7”
This being satisfactorily answered, Deacon
Moon pitched tho tunc.
“ Donald,” said a Scotch dame, looking up
from catechism to her son, “ What’s a slander?’
“ A slander gudo mlther?’? quoth young Don
ald, twisting the corner of his plaid, “aweel, I
hardly ken,.unless it be mayhap, an over true
fale which one gudo woman tolls of anither.”
An exchange paper tells of a person who pre
faced his sermon with : “My dear friends, lot
us say a few words before wo bgin.” This is
about equal to tho chap who took a short nap
before ho went to sleep.
It has boon thought that people aro degener
ating, becanso they don’t live ns long ns in tho
days of Methuselah. Dot the fact is, provisions
aro so high that nobody can afford to live very
long at tho current prices.
Impudent littlo boy (to very fat old gentlo
tleman, who is trying to got along as fast as be
can, but with very indiiicront success) «I say,
old follow, you would get on a jolly sight quick
er, if you would 110 down on tho pavement, and
lot roo roll you along.”
Horace Walpole once said: “In my youth I
thought of writing n satire on mankind—but
now ic my ago, I think I should write an apolo
gy for them.”
«* What Was the use of the eclipse?” asked'a
young lady. “Oh it gave the sun time for re
flection,” replied a wag.
1 have very little respect for the ties of
this world, os the chap said when tho tope was
put around his neck.
[ltT'Real fidelity is very rare, but it. exists
in the heart. They only deny its worth and
power who never loved a . friend, or who never
labored to make a friend happy.
O” Why aro country girl’s checks like well
printed cotton 1 Because they arc “warranted
to wash and keep their color.”
O* Tho rose has its thorns, tho diamond
its specks, and the best man his failings.
O” A good country minister lately prayed
fervently for those of his congregation who
were too proud to kneel and too lazy to stand.
AT §2,00 PER ANNUM.
A Wholesale Wedding,
A correspondent of the Memphis Appeal thus
describes a connubial convention and demon
stration that occurred recently on tho planta
tion ofCapt. J. W. Jones, near that city:
Mr. James Hubbard, the faithful and excel
lent manager, assisted by his kind and affec
tionate wife, had everything in readiness. The
brides, beautifully attired, were in watting, tho
bridegrooms, each of ebony color, nine in num
ber, made their appearance,and were conducted
to the proper cottage, and the order of the eve
ning made known. , Then, with preliminary
arrangements, they, with each of their atten
dants, four in number, went forth to join the
brides, and their attendants, under the blue
canopy of heaven, arid on a beautiful grass plot,
prepared for the occasion, for no house 9uuld
be found to accommodate the crowd of over one
hundred and fifty. They, the nine couple and
fondants, then formed and. marched in
front of the dwelling, where had assembled
many friends of Capt. Jones, and Mr. and Mrs.
Hubbard to see an unusual sight, nine happy
couple W be united in the holy bonds of matri
mony by the Eev. John Rosser, of Camden,
South Carolina. ,
Each couple, with their attendants, marched
up after Ihe ceremony by our pious minister,
and he knelt in prayer, imploring heaven to
bless, each one of tho nine couple. . And, sir,
the prayer seemed to be breathed with fervor
nnd devotion for assistance from on high on his
fellow servants. After prayer,, such kissing
nnd joy as was manifested by the friends of
each! Then in a few minutes supper was an
nounced ; arid permit-mo to say. that it was
the most orderly crowd I have ever seen of
blacks; attributable, no doubt, to no spirits or
wine being used on the occasion. After supper
came the dance for the non-religious ; but near
by, on another equally beautiful grass plot,
were found about one-half—the religious—in
play of sister Phoabeand other kindred plays.
And never have I had the pleasure of seeing a
happier crowd. '
They danced and played until near the break
of day,-we understand, and to their credit be it
said, everything passed ofi W'thout any inter
ruption and the next morning, each is ready
with cheerful heart, (recounting his fun at tho
wedding,) to do his day’s work.
A Colored Discourse,
A correspondent of the Knickerbocker, who
writes from Mansfield, Ohio, sends the follow
ing ‘‘discourse,” for- tho entire authority of
which he vouches without reserve, havhSgtaken
it down Irom the thick-lips of the reverend or
ator.himself:
sly tex, brcdrcn and sister, will bo foun’ in
de fus chapter of Gemesis and twenty-sebenth
worse.'-. '
“An de Lord make Adam." Itoleyouhow
he make him. Ho make him out ob clay, and
when he gel dri he breathe into him de breff ob
life. Ho! put him’ in de garden ob Eden, and ho
set him in de korner ob de lot, and he tole him
to cat all de apples, ’ceptin dem in the middle
ob.doorchar; dem bo want for de winter ap
ples., .. ’ ■• ■
-, Byme by, Adam he .be lonesurn. .So do Lor’,
make Ebe. ,1 tole you how he make her. He
give Adarii Igddiuro till he go t sound ’sleep, den
ho gouge rib out he side and make Ebo: nn‘ ho
tole her to eat allde apples ’ceptin’ dem in de
middle of de orchard; dem he want he winter
apples. , . '
VYun day de Lord he go visiting; de dcbble
he cum along, he dross himself up in the skin
ob de snake, and he fine Ebe, and he told her :
“Ebe why for you not eat de apples in de mid
dle ob de orchard ?” Ebe says,, “Dem de Lord’s
winter apples.” But do debblc says. “I tole
you for to cat dem. case day’s de best apples in
do orchard.” So Ebo ate de apple, and gib
Adam a bite, and den de debble, he go away.
By tube by de Lor’ cum home, and he call
Adam. Adam ho lay low, so do Lor’ call
again, “You! Adam!” Adam say, "Hea,
Lord!” and de Lor’ say, “Who stole winter ap
ples?” Adam tole him, “Don’t know—Ebe,
he’spcct.” /So de Lor’call "Ebo !’’ Ebe lay
low; de Lor’ call again, “You Ebe!" Ebe
say, “Hea Lor’ 1" Do Lor’ say, "Who stole
•de winter apples ?” Ebe told him, “Don’t
know—Adam, she ’spect.” So de “Lor’cotoh
em bolt, and trow dem ober de fence, and he I
tole cm, “Go work for your libbin.” ■ ' I
DC7* A little girl, five years of age.was equal
ly fond of her mother ’ and'grandmother'. On
the birthday of■ the latter her mother said to
her.
‘•My dear, you must pray to God to bless
your grandmother, and that she may live to be
very old.” .
The child looked with some surprise, at her
mother, who, perceiving it, said, —
“Well, will you nor, pray to God to bless
your grandmother, and that she may become
vcry.old?”
“Ah, mamma,” said the child, “she is very
old already, I would rather pray that she fnay
become young.”
XC/~ Laura Leo is a daughter of a wealthy far
mer near Detroit, for whom Thomas Barnes was
plowboy. Thomas, tho rogue, stole Laura’s
heart, and then herself. They ran away and .by
legal process got- spliced. Old Loo offered S5OO
for tho recovery of his daughter. . Tho young
couple concluded to go back and lake tho money
and bourses. When they arrived homo they
were agreeably astonished to find themselves
heartily forgiven by the old man, and awarded
a homestead and'a farm of sixty acres: There
was common sense all around.
SmpiDE of A Physician. —Dr. O. D. Wilcox,
of Elmira, N. V., because accused ol' malprac
tice and prosecuted on account of tlio death of
a man whose leg ho had amputated, took poison
last Friday, and died in half an hour. Dr. W.
wont to Klmira from Easton, Pa., in October,
1857, and although a comparative Stranger in
the place, bad acquired a high character as a
.man, and no mean reputation as a physician.—
He appears to have boon led to iho act of aelf
doslruction, by an oror-sensitivo disposition.
A Good Sentiment.— Senator Jefferson Da
vis, of Mississippi, was on tho''stcamcr Joseph
Whitney, at sea, on the 4th of July. Ho made
a speech on the occasion, from which we extract
the following sentiment; which contains' some
thing good, said with a point: “And this great
country will continue united. Trifling politi
cians in the South, or in the North, or in the
West, may continue to talk otherwise, but it
will be of nn avail. They aro like the mosquitoes
around the ox—they annoy- but they cannot
wound, and never kill.” What disuuionlst
“musquito” is going to buz on that ?
D 3“ A dreadful affair occurred in Anderson
county, Kentucky, on Thursday last. At a pic
nic, three brothers named Miller, excited by li
quor, got into.a quarrel. Three or four men in
terfered to prevent violence and preserve peace,
When the brothers turned on them and killed
two. The Millers were arrested and confined
ir, tbojail at Liiwrencoburg
(E7* India has a population of 180,884)597
souls.
Green, the
The New York, Courier and Enquirer gtv&-
the following narrative of the descent of Green,
the diver to tho Atlantic, lying at'the bottom
of Lake Erie. Poor Green! his daring was too
severely punished:
Not many months since a vessel was lost in
a water whose depth nt the piacbijof' the foun
dering was about 147 feet. There was a por
tion of the cargo so valuable that it bcoamelsd
■ visable to use every effort possible to recover.'jt.
It was scarcely possible to-do. anything. It
was far beyond all ordinary means' of human
.action; it might be reached, though it would
bo a bold attempt, by tho diver. He was
sought and found, and a recompense which on
land would be a princely one was guaranteed lo
him. Men will do more' than “docs, become a
man” for rich reward. To feed him with air,
a powerful pump, worked by six men,, was
brought, and a hose doubly strengthened,' was
made. All the opplicanocs that the most liber
al management could suggest were ready forhfs
aid. He was surrounded by intelligence and
courage and humanity. He dared tho .deep
water once, twice,, seven times. The men at
the break of ,tjic. air pump wrought , with tho
might of earnest strength. They ( Jecl .the vital
current to the bold diver, and he'hdd' thecour
ago to trust them, Their work was his breath.
When he came up ho told the gentleman' that
superintended the trial, that the air at that
depth, as tho machinery forced it to him, cracks *
led and hissed tike th e frying of hot fat, and
that every movement of the pump fell on his
breast like the blow of a crow-bar! You go
down no more for me, said tho kind hearted
gentleman, who stood by him, as he catne on
deck; In the intensity of all his-experience, .
this too daring man besought for the opportu
nity for another trial. The gentleman refused,
but tho diver insisted ongoing for himself.He
went, and returned a paralyzed mqn, and just
holding life, now craws along. The claret not-*
tie at his girdle, corked tightly apdiempty, was
tilled when’be came back, though the cork was
not disturbed. The water had forocd.itsclf be-;
yond power of cork or glass. r
NO. 8.
It is said.to be very common with Oomic no-,
tors to be constitutional hypochondriacs—men:
who never laugh themselves—are entjrely un-,
conscious of a joke, except those sot' down for
them in the play. These men are often bowed'
down under the weight of a mobid melancholy.’
or fidgeting in a state of nervous irritation, not
many degrees, removed from lunacy. -vTho fact
is well illustrated by an anecdote of Liston.,.
“ Go and see Liston,” said an eminent physi
.clap to a patient who consulted him as to tbo
best euro oMow spirits. » .
. “ Alas, lam the man 1” replied the sufferer,.
in a despairing tone. ...
ET" A girl with two heads, four .arms and
four legs, is now on exhibition at Su Louis, and
attracting a large amount' of attention. The ,
St, Louis Democrat says: “At the first an-'
nouncement of so wonderful a freak of nature, :
wo weic disposed to regard it as a humbug.;
but, having seen it, we can assure oax readers
that she is, far beyond all matters onloubt, tho
most extraordinary and astonishing freak ofna
ture we have ever witnessed; . '
Ew* A few years ago, when the' river Dela- ;
ware was frozen over, a number of booths were
erected on the ice, near one of which an Irish- ",
man observed a person to fall in ; he ran irome- :
diately to the proprietor of the booth n and told
him that, he had just seen a man enter his cellar,
and advised him to take care of his liquor. . ’ .
Over Shrewd.—A wine merchant left a sus
pected assistant in bis cellar, and said to him,
, “ Now, lest you should drink tho wine while
I am away, 1 will chalk your mouth sa- that I
may know it.”.
He-then passed-his finger over tho man’s lips,
pretending to leave the mark of the chalk on
them. The man drank of the wine, and then
to be even with bis.master, chalked bis: mouth,
and thus discovered himself.
E?’’A formal fashionable visitor thus ad
dressed a litclo girl;—
. “Hoiv are you, my dear ?’’
“Very well, I thank you,” she replied.
The visitor then added—• - f. ,
“Now, ray dear, you should ask met how I
am.”. . , j , ~ -
The child simply and honestly replied, “I
don’t want, to know.” ,
E 7" A Quaker having sold a fine looklng hut
blind horse, asked tho purchaser in- his dry
way:
“Well, my friend, dost thou sell any fault in
him?” :....
. “No,” was the answer.
“Neither will he see any in thee,” said old
Broadrim. • '
ETT A country sculptor was orderiai .tp en
grave bn a tombstone these words:
“ A virtuous woman is a crown to her hus
band.” f-
But the stone being small, ho engraved it—
“ A virtuous woman is fls to her husband.” ;
Jerome! Jerome!” screamed Mrs. But
terfield, tho other day, to her biggest boy,
“what are you throwin’ to those pigeons ?”
“Gold beads, mother, and the darned fools
are eaten ’em; ’spect they think it’s corn!"
, C7* An editor in lowa has', been fined two
hundred dollars for hugging a young girl in
church. —Daily Argits.
“ Cheap chough 1 We once hugged a girl in
church, some ten years agdLpnd the scrape has
cost us. a thousand a year cv£r since.'
Chicago Young American.
Cv” What, do you drive such a pitful looking
carcass as that for? Why don’t you put a
heavy coatoi flesh on him f ”
“ A heavy coat of tlesh! By the powers the
poor crater can hardly carry what little tbero
is on him.”
O” Have you got a sister ? Then lovo and
cherish her with a holy friendship.— Warnock.
lf you have no sister of your own, we ad
vise you to love somebody else’s sister. ■,
Bardstown Gazette. '
K 7” “May I bo married, ma V' said a little
beauty lo her mother. ‘Why do yout.want to
be married 1" returned the molheh. “ Why,
ma, you know that the children have never seen
anybody married, and I thought it might please
them."
Charms—A fortune of twenty thousands
pounds.. Counter Charms—Pretty shop girls.
OUT” A man in Boston who stoutly objected,
last winter to his wife’s learning to skate, has
since concluded to “lot her slide.”
Cpf Why is a watch dog larger at night than
he is in the morning ? Because he is let out at
night, and taken in, in the morning. •,
03* Why is a person asking questions the
strangest of all individuals i Because be is tba
querist. -
[C7* Bo polite to every person, and you will
secure their esteem.
OCT" “ This augurs well,” as the mosquito
said when ho settled ou a fat man’s nose.
03?" The annua! production of sugar in the
United States is about 136.500 tons. ( ,
03“ What is it you must keep after giving it
to another.
Bad Hearts —Some people’s hearts are
shrunk in them like dried nuts. You can hew
’em rattle as they walk-
1 ‘’l'W".
The People We Laugh at. ;