AMERICAN VOLUNIEEK.
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Jotau B. Bratton.
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|MrnL
THE GOOD MAN NEVER DIES.
nr n. s. Baxter, esq.
The good man never dies,
Though his threescore years and ten
May have passed unheeded by.
In the busy marls of men—
In the furrowed field or grove—
Upon mountains, sea, or shore—
Still bis untold deeds, of Ibvo
Are a blessing evermore.
As the circle of the sea,
At the pebble’s (iny.lull;
JVs the wavelets of the air,
From the mountain hunter’s call,
As the -streaming of the light,
So, ’raid weariness and strife,
Dohis gentle words of kindness
Fill tbo infinite of life,
•They: live while hois-wasting,
-..They breathe while, ho is gone;
•Immortal in its freshness
Is every good deed done,
Immortal in its blessings;
Tet more undying still.
To wither and io biaken
Is every deed of ill.
We dohot die, we cannot; .
For hastening ever on
Are the moments that are past,
With the actions that are done ;
- With the keys of light and darkness,
■We before the future stand,
. ’Tis through the gateway of the glory,
Wo must reach the better land.
I’M WITH YOU ONCE AGAIN.
nx oeoroe r. iipnnis.
I’m. with you once'again, my friends,
No mote my footsteps roam :
Where it began my'journo'y ends.
Amid the scenes of home.
No ,other clime has skies so blue,
Or streams so broad and clear,.
And, where are hearts so warm and (rue
As those that meet mo here ?
Since last, with spirits wild and free,
I pressed my native strand,
I’ve wandered many miles at sea.
And many miles on land ;
I’ve seen fair regions o( the earth,
With rude commotions torn,
Which taught me how to prize the worth
Of that .where I was born.
( • .
In other countries where I heard
The language of my own, ■
How fondly each familiar word
Awoke an answering tone!
But when bur woodland songs were sung
Upon a foreign mart.
The vows that faltered on the tongue I
With rapture tilled my licart I
My native land! I turn to you,
. With blessings and with prayer,
Where man is bravo.and woman true
And frco as mountain air.
, "iiong may our flag in (riumph wave,
'■ Agalnst the world combined.
And friends a welcome—foes a gravo,
-Withiri'onr borders find.
-31115rtfIantouo.
THE WARRIOR MAIDEN.
! Sometime just before or about the beginning
of the ..Revolutionary war, Sorgcnt Jasper, of
Marion’s Brigade, had the good fortune to Save
the life of a young, beautiful and dark-eyed
Creole girl, called Sally St. Clair. Her siisccp
table nature was overcome with gratitude to
her preserver, and this soon ripened into a pas
siori ol love, of the most deep and fervent'kind.
She lavished upon .him the whole wealth of her
affections, and th‘e whole depth of passion nur
tured by a Southern siin. When he was called
upon 10 joiri the ranks, of his country’s defen
ders; the prospect of .their separation almost
riiaddcned her. Their parting came; but
Scarcely was .she left alone, ere her romantic
.nature-prompted .the means of re-union. Once
resolved,no consideration of nature could damp-
„BH her spirit, and net thought of consequence
4 could move her purpose. She severed her long
and jetty ringlets, and provided herself, and
set forth, to follow the fortunes of her lover.
• A gmooth-fatfod, beautiful. and delicate strip
ling appeared among the hardy, rough and gi
ant frames Who'Composed the corps to Which
Jasper 'belonged. Tim contrast between the
stripling and These men, in their uncouth garb's,
(heir massive laces, embrowned and discolored
by the sun and pain, was indeed striking. But
none were more eager for the battle, or so in
different to fatigue as the fair faced boy. It was
found that biS energy of-character, resolution
and courage; attiply supplied bis lack of physi
- quo. ! None .ever suspected that she was a wo
man, , Nunc; even Jasper himself, although she
Was often by his side, penetrated her with kind
ness) and respect, and often .applauded her hero
ic-bravery. The romance of her situation in-
qreascddhe fervor of her passion. It was her
-delight, to reflect that, unknown to him, she
Was hy his side to watch over him, id the hour
bldangeri She had fedberpassion by gazing
upon him in the.hour of hovering near,
him when stealing through the swamp and
thicket,' and always ready to avert danger from
bis head; : , , ■
■ But gradually there stoic a melancholy pre
sentiment oyer the poor girl’s mind. She had
jjeen tortured with hopes deferred ;tho war was
prolonged, and-thc prospect of being restored to
him grew more and more uncertain. But now
She felt that her. dream of happiness could nev
er he. realized, : • She became convinced that
death was abou tto snatch her away from bis
side ?" but Sho' prayccl that she might die, and
ha never know to- wfiat length the violence of
Jier passion had. led her.
T It was the eve before a battle. The camp had
sunk into a repos?. The watch-fires were burn
i ing low, aridonly flic slow tread of sentinels fell
■. upon the; profound silence of the night air as
ji they moved, through the dark shadows of the
I forest. Stretched , upon the ground, with no
ft blhcr ‘couch. 1 than a blanket, reposed the warlike
|| form .of Jasper. ■ Climbing vines trailed them
f solves into a canopy above his head, thro’.which
g the stars shone softly.' The Ihint flickor from
I' the: expiring embers of fire fell athwart his
mid .tinged the cheek of one who
-y'bent above his couch. It was the smooth faced
Sjalripling.: She bent low down, as if to listen to
igfcis dreams or to breathe jiito his ‘soul pleasant
gflsions of love and happiness. But tears traced
down the fair one’s cheek, and fell
?“®htly but rapidly upon the brow of.her lover.
1 A'mysterious voice has told, that the hour of
• parting has come, that to-morrow her destiny
is,consummated.. There is one last, long, lin
v gcring look, and the unhappy maiden is seen to
tear herself away from the spot, to weep out
. her sorrows in privacy.
• yipreq and, torri.ble is the conflict that on the
morrow rages on that spot, foremost in that
battle isr the inttepid Jasper, and ever by hia
Iwriftt
BY JOHN B. BRATTON,
VOIa. 45,
side fights the stripling warrior. Often.during
the heat and the smoke, gloanis suddenly upon
the eyes of Jasper the melancholy faod of the
maiden. In the thickest of the light, surroun
ded by enemies, the lovers fight, aide by side.
Suddenly a Innoo is levelled at the breast of Jas
ier; but swifter than the lance is. Sally St.-
Clair. There is a-wild cry, and at the -feet; of
Jasper sinks the maiden, with the life blood
gushing from her white bosom. He'heods not
the din or the danger oi the conflict; but down
by the side of the dying boy he kneels. Then,
for the first time, docs ho learn that the strip
ling is his love; that often-, by the camp-fire,
and in the swamp, she has been by his side;
that the dim visions oi his slumber, of an npgcl
face hovering above him, had indeed been true.
In the midst of the bailie, with her lover by her
side, arid the barb still in her bosom, the heroic
maiden dies! , - ...
Her name, her ses, and her noble devotion*
soon became known through the corps.. There
was a tearful group gathered around her grave;
there was not one of those hardy warriors who
did not bedew her grave with tears. They
buried her near Hie river .Santa;, “in a green
shady nook, that looked as if it had been stolen
out of Parrdise.”
HOW UNCLE JOHN COT RICH.
My Uncle Joint is a queer, grim old bachelor,
with here and there a gray hair silvering his
locks of glossy black, and an occasional wrinkle
on his broad, high forehead. He must have
been handsome when he was young ; and there
still lingers around his face a kind of. pleasing
expression, which is at the same time inclined
to make mo fear, rather than admire or love
him. Tall and robust, healthy and vigorous,ho
is a regular “old fogy,’.' and adheres to ancient
customs with an almost unaccountable tenacity.
He talks but little, lias niS associates, walks
about as if he realized nothing passing around
him, and in company is lactiturn and reserved.
Thers is always a chilling aspect about him,
and I remember when I was a child, bow I used
to tremble when he would pat me on the head,
in his occasional’.visits-'to our home. But, let
me whisper in your ear a moment —roy uncle
is very wealthy—and since I have become old
epough to understand such things, my father
has shown me, in a clear, and logical manner,
that wo, being his only relatives,must take par
fticular pains to'please him; and.so we do.
. But I am forgetting raystory, I. often go
to see Uncle John in his bachelor sanctum—on
ly a few minutes walk, from our house; and ho
seems to like me quite well; in ifact he’ talks
more freely with mb than any one else, and
loses a little of his habitual reserve when I am
with him. A few. evenings sinceH started out
for a'.walk; but tlio sweeping, windi the pierc
ing cold, soon drove mo to my uhcle's lourth
story attic room. f found him sitting by Ins
glowing wood fire, apparently drowned in tho’t,
with an open daguerreotype in his hand, at
which he was gazing earnestly arid longing;
and perhapsl am mistaken, but I thought I
saw a tear-drop glistening in the depth's of his
dark grey eye. He did not seem to notice my
coming, but sat still in profound silence, gazing
at the picture, until, becoming tired of irksome
restraint without;.! suddenly asked, —
... “Uncle. John,- how.did yougot rich?”
lie started violently; the picture fell to the
floor, and for a, moment bis face wore a look of
such exquisite anguish that I would have given
worlds to take back What I bad said but it
passed away, and ’ tliciri a sad smile played
around his mouth, as ho answered :
“Hal,.my boy, I never yet told my story ;
but as you ask me, and because it iflay be in
structive to you, I will tell you, briefly, and'
then you will know that I am net entirely what
I stein; When I tgas about twenty years old I
came here from my country home, and thiough
the influence of my father obtained a situation
ns salesman in a large dry goods establishment.
But few weeks passed ere I forgot the prayers
and admonitions of my parents, and I became
wild and reckless; spending my nights in dissi
pation, drinking, carousing, and accumulating
debts extravagantly. I was abandoned and
dissolute in the extreme ; and, although X man
aged to do my part ih the business, I could not’
have concealed the traces of my dissipation
much longer.
One day I received a tiny note, written in a
delicate, femate.hand ; it Warned me to beware
how I continued my ruinous course, urging
every reason against it, and concluding with an
earnest appeal to my finer sensibilities. It was
signed Carrie 0- , and I knew it was from
the daUghtcri of rny employer; t Will not
lengthen my story. From that- day I was
changed. I met her—loved her—-spent my
evenings and leisure lioiirs in her company, till
my heart made her its idol, and I worshipped •
her. We were engaged- -the time far odf mar
marriage drew nigh. One day—oh! God, can
I ever forget it?—l received tidings that she
had been taken suddenly ill. I hurried to her
bedside, and arrived just in time to hear her
whisper,—-‘Meet me in Heaven, John,’ and see
her die. • ■ . -
Weeks after t lay senseless in a brain fever;
and when I recovered I longed to die ,- for the
lamp of my life had gone out; I cared for noth
ing that was left. To relievo my mind I plung
ed deeply, inlo'busincss, became a partner, was
prospered, and am now wealthy ; but at what
a saoriljce 1 My dear boy r you have often won
dered why I am always sad arid gloomy, but
you Will Wonder rib longer; my idol is in Hea
ven ; I care-naught for earth. Now, Hal,leave
me ; for I would not have you with me longer
to-night, for I must struggle with my emo
tions.” . :
With my heart saddened,and hot tears filling
ray cycs.and choking my utterance, I left my
uncle,, with his face buried in hishands, and
his whole strong frame convulsed with deep ag
ony—alone—Withall ho bad left of his idol in
heaven.
Taking titb Quarter. —During the trial of
a case, ip the Essex Common .Pleas, at New
buryport; recently, it witness whp was brought
from Plaistow.N. H., was naked hy District
Attorney Abbott, “Didn’t' you say, when you
lived in Ncwburyport, that you were the grea
test liar in the city?” The witness looked
wise for a minute or two beforo he answered,
“0,1 know what yon mean. You see I went
into a room one night, and found half a dozen
fellows who seemed to bo Celling stories. Says
one of them, ‘Here’s -—, he’ll take”the mon
ey.’ What money,’l asked. ‘That quarter-on
the table,’ was the answer; the man that tells
the biggest lie takes it.’ I merely told them I
shouldn’t try for it, as I never told a lie in my
life, and they gave me the quarter:
JET” A fashionable doctor lately informed his
friends, in a large company, that be had been
passingeight days in the country. “Yes,”
said ope of the party, “it has been announced
in one of the journals.’’ “Ah!” said the doc
tor, stretching his ncok, very important, "pray
in what terms“ln what terms?” Why,
as well as I pan remember, it is nearly in the
following“ There was last week seventy-sev
en interments less than the week before.”
, A speaker at a stomp meeting out West,
declared that bo knew no east.no. west, no
norm;:no south I Then, saidia bystander, you
.ought to go. to. school and'lcarn yonr geography.
THE REWARD OP COURTESY.
A few rears since, on a radiant spring after
noon, two men who, from their conversation,
appeared to bo foreigners,, stopped before the
gate of one of the large workshops in Philadel
phia, for the manufacture of locomotive engines.
Entering a small office, the elder of the ,two
men inquired of the superintendent if he would
peririit them to inspect their works.
“You can pass in, and look about,” said the
superintendent, vexed, apparently, at being
disturbed in the perusal of. his newspaper, lie
then scanned the two strangers tqore closely.—
They were respectably but plainly did, and ev
idently made no profession to official dignity of
any kind. . h
“ Is there any one who can show os-over the
establishment and explain matterri to-us,
ed Mr. Wolf, the eldest of the two'Blrangcrs.
*‘X°? must pick your own way,' gentlemen,”
replied- the’ superintendent, “we arc all too bu
sy to attend to everybody that comes along.—
I’ll thank you not to interrupt the workmen by
asking questions. " .
It was not'so much the matter as the manner
of this reply, that was offensive .to Mr. Wolf
and his companion. | It was spoken with a,cer
tain official assumption of 'superiority mingled
with' contempt for Iris visitors, indicating d
haughty and selfish temper on the part of the
speaker.
“I think we will not trouble you,’.’ said.Mr;
Wolfe, bowing; and taking his companion’s
arm they passed out. , ,
; “If there is anything I heartily dislike, it is
incivility,” said Mr. 1 Wolfe, when they were in
the street.’ “I do not bjamo the man for net
wishing to show us over the establishmenthe
is no doubt interrupted by many heedless visi
tors; but he might have dismissed us with
courtesy. ■ lie might have sent us away better
content with a gracious refusal than with an
ungracious consent.
• “ Perhaps, said the other,..we shall have bet
ter luck here ; arid they stopped before another
workshop of a similar kind,:' They were receiv?
ed by ri bristle little min, the Head clerk, appar
rcntly, who, in reply to- thtir request, to be
shown over the establishment, answered, “0;
yes! comb with me, gentlemen—this way.”—
So saying, he hurried them along he area strew
ed with iron bars, broken and rusty , wheels of
iron, fragments of old boilers. and cylinders;
into the principal workshop. : ■
Hero, without stopping to explain any one
thing heled the strangers along, with; the evi
dent intention of gotting.fid.otthem as soon ns
possible; ' They paused where the workmen
were rivcling the external casing, of a boiler;
the cferlfdriofced at his watch, tapped with his
foot against an iron, tube, and showed other
signs of friVpatience whereupon Mr Wolfe
marked; “wfhwin not;detain you 'longer, sir,”
and with his friend he took his lcavb. .
“ That marfis an itaprovement on the oth*
or.” said Mr.-. Wolfe, “but all the civility he
has is on the surface; it does not come from the
heart. We must look further.
The Strangers walked on nearly a half a mile
in silence, when one oft hem pointed to an hum
ble sign, with a pioture.of .a locomotive engine
with a train of cars underneath. It overtopped
a small Ijoildirig. not iridre thari ton - ibbt in
height, -communicating with a yard arid a
wdrkshp. “took” said the observer,-“hero is
a macliihest whose name is riot bn our list.”—
“Probably it was thought to .small a concern
for our purpose,” said his companion- “ Nev
ertheless, let us try it, said. Mr. Wolfe.
They entered, and found at the desk, a mid
dle aged man, whoso somewhat grimy , aspect,
and apron around his .waist, showed that he
divided his labors between the work shop and
counting-room.
. “ We want to look over yonr works if you
have no objections.”
“It will give me great pleasure to show you
all that is to be seen,” said;the mechanic with
a pleased alacrity, ringing a bell, and telling
the boy! who entered to take charge of the of
fice. . ’
He then fed the way, and explained to the stran
gers the whole process’of erecting; a locomotive
engine. He showed them how the various parts
of the machinery were manufactured, and . pa
tiently answered all their questions.
He told them the mode of tubing boilers, by
which the power of generating steam. was in
creased; and showed with what care ho provi
ded forsecurity frombnrsting.,
. Two hours passed rapidly away. The stran -
gers were delighted with the intelligence dis
played by the mechanic, and with his frank,
Unsuspicious manners. “Here is, a man who
loves his profession so well,, that ho takes pleas
ure in explaining its mysteries to all who can
understand them,” thought Mr. Wolfe.
“lam afraid wo have giyCn yon a great deal
of trouble.” said the other stranger.
"Indeed, gentlemen, I have enjoyed your
visit,” said the mechanic, “arid shall he glad
lb see you again,”
“ Perhaps you may,” said Mr, Wolfe, and
the tWo strangers departed. < .
, Five months, afterward, as the mechanic
whose means were quite limited, sat in his of*
flee, meditating bow hard it was to get business
by such largo establishments as were his, com
petitors, the two strangers-cntered. lie -gave
them a hearty welcome, handed chairs, and all
sat down. . •
“ We come,” said Mr. Wolfo, “with a prop,
osition to yon from the Emperor of Nussia. lb'
visit St. Petersburg.”
“ From the Emperor ? Impossible ! »
“ Here are our credentials.” ' ' .
“ But, gentlemen,”, said the now dgitated
mechanic, "What (Joesthis mean? llow have
I earned’ such an honor ?
“ Simply by yonr straight forward courtesy
and frankness, combined with professional in
telligence,” said Mr. Wolfe. Because wo were
strangers, you did not think it necessary to
treat us with, distrust or coldness.- Yon saw
we were really interested in acquainting our
selves with, your works, and you did pot nSfc
us; before extending to us yonr civilities, what
Icitcrs.ofihtroduotioh we brought. ■ You meas
ured us by. the spint wo showed, and not ; by
tho'dignities we have exhibited.
■ The mechanic visited St. • Petersburg, arid
soon afterwards removed his whole catablish
men t. _ He had imperial orders for as many lo
comotives as he could construct, fie has lately
returned tobis own country, and is still rcceiv
-I[lSjarr S O returns from his Russian workshops.
And all this prosperity grow out of unselfish
civility to two strangers, one of whom was the
secret agent of the Qzar of Russia!'
IC7**lt is said that a bachelor grows old'fas
ter than a married man, but that' the latter’s
hair very often comes out soonest; What is the
philosophy of this.
K7* Quarreling before marriage is a sure pre
lude to misery afterward. . Think before you
commit yourself to a life-long engagement.
O” If you do, when you are alone, what you
are unwilling to do in the presence of your ac
quaintances, yon respect them more than you
do yourself. ■ .
lET’Why are olergymen, performing the
marriage ceremony, like cabinet-makers. Be
cause they ore joiners.
“ofrn ooonte:
CARLISLE, PA., THURSDAY, Mt 22, 1858.
Sweet Minnie May 4hd I one eve
Across. Hie meadows wo strayed,
Then wandered the little iano
To where thp stwfllnlet played.
■Wo passed benoattftlio Linden’s sliado,
" Within a* floWbry; 4®H~
• I asked a kiss, she. sighing said,
“’Sesl if y.o'u’ilnoycr toll.”
I '.''' ' ' ' '
Ah I. do, you think, weot Minnie May
-That I could traitor ho ? -
Oho Kiss and I will pledge for ayo
My secrecy to tlietK
Her fringpd jipa vpiliw, modestly,
Tlie mirrors-of . hqr Soul,
To neck and broW alhsuddcnly
The tell talO h’lnMibr stole.
’ ,j! , '
Her round white arms my neck ontwhid,
AHi then of bliss—
Her.rosy'lipsTvere pressed to mine
In one sweet Ungcripg bliss;
*« Epost’wesp’ts e>’ it.soundcd thro’ the lane
’Twas wafted'by fho breeze,
Until repeated o?cr.n|Jdri ,
By echo ’midst tho [trees.
. Monnrchs Belifci|;Froiii Business.
There was ft false Tungr somc time ago that
the Pope intended to reSgn, whereat the Rich
mond Whig remarked it
The reluctance with Which men, who have
once tasted the sweetp olisupreme power, resign
the thunderbolt; is proverbial. The examples
of such resignation-are so.' rare, that if Pius XX
really intends to retire,'he will make but the
fourth, in alihistory soJpr as we can at pres
ent remember. The ■ dfistator Sylla was the
first. .-.What induced -lufil to give up power
so suddenly, when ho had waded through such
a sea of iblopd to obtainwe could never im
agine. Perhaps lie' foutifistho toy he so fiercely
sought not: worth baving aftcr all; but if be did,
he was of : a different, mmd 'from almost any
other,we ever read of. lie seems to have de
sired it, Only that it might enablc him to take
vengeance on he did, in a
stylo that the most.resentful - man on earth could
find-no fault with^ ; that passion was
gratified, he scems'tb havs had no. other.- The
most surprising thing in his whole history is,
that fie died in m tfie midst - of ten thou
sand implacable. encmitSi; He seems to. have
tamed the prpiid, Romans fpmpletely, for not a
hand was lifted against him., .
■The next example is of the Emperor Dio
eletian. But the most fiinfous of all, is that of
the Emperor Charles'V- v |jho . causes that in
duced this potentate .tp yepigii, were long mis
understood. Superstition was fora long time
supposed to bo at the bottsai of it, according to
Byron’s well-known lines if A
<rTho Spaniard. lust of sway
Had lost its quiokchfng spell, , •
.Cast crowns, for rosaries, away.
An empire for a celjil’&c.
The researches of iMr> Wheaton and Mr. Pres
cott, hpWcver,fiavo pdt a -new face upon the
matter! Charles,- though only 55 years of age.
Was w«rn out with disease-, and labor. Bis re
signation was the result of meditaliop. Ho
only
waitcdforaTavorable.opportunity. He seized
the-first that presented itself, and gave up bis
power into the hatfiJs of bis son l with the great
est deliberation. Superstition seems to have
bad nothing to do, with the matter and the
dwelling at Juste Was as little as possible like
the cell of a penitent. Like a man of sense, ho
took every precaution to provide for hispernon
al comfort, just as a merchant, who has made
his fortune and wishes to retire, would do.—
The talcs about his cloister life, about his strict
ness in his religious exercises, and his total
abandonment of everything worldly was an in
vention of the Monks. lie still continued to
feel the liveliest interest in everything that was
going forward! ,Ho certainly was not under
monkish influence, for Mr. Prescott tells us he
was,furious with the Pope. Paul IV, when he
heard of the war he was stirring up against
Spain," and no scruples about bearing arms
against bis Holiness, interfered with his advice
to his son! to takeixempliiiy vengeance on the
pontiff. He was exceedingly fond of good liv
ing, and spent 100 uiuch time at the tabic for a
man with the gout. This dock, not look like a
peni tent monk. The story abou t his monk ob
sequies is traced to a monk, and is doubtless
false. Ho enjoyed life keenly as far as his dis
eases would let him, and his retirement seems
to have beeri a very wise stop. , He was doubt
less happier than fie had fiver been in all his
life. He Was able to do thatwhich every man
contemplates; but which scarcely any man is
ever able to do—to spend the last days of life in
retirement. After all, however, Mr. Prescott
more than insinuates that his constitution was
effected by a taint of insanity, or, at least, mel
ancholy of a very morbid character, which he
derived mother Joanna; yet there was
so little of inanity in this act, that wc doubt
whether the historian would ever have suspec
ted it.fiad not 1 the history of the unfortunate
Joanna been but too well known!
Parson Brownlow W-lioopingv
Foremost among the clcrgytncn who are, rot
content with preaching the Gospel, but must
fain meddle with other matters, is Parson
Brownlow, of Knoxville, While recently
attending the Methodist Annua,! Convention, at
Nashville, ho thus commented on hoops:
■ “All f regret is that skirtdoni Is expanding,
and the fashions in vogue are still increasing
tho distance between mart amd woman. ;'Atone
moment f feel like exclaiming, ‘Oh, that I were
a boy again !’ The next moment I fee! indig-,
nantat tho hoops, aind feel willing to join a reg
iment of men in a vigorous assault upon the
rattan, whalebone, cords, brass and steel, that
have put asunder-what God has said ought to
bo joined together. Only think of the .display
on oiir streets, in the State capital, at church,in
the parlor, of the grand and graceful skirts,
looming up allround one,fascinating,charming,
and swinging to and fro', like So' many things
of life! • Talk about tho grandeur of a first
class steamer, of a train of cars propelled by
steam ! Give me a train of hooped skirts, under
the,folds of which are so many human locomo
tives, standing five feet ton inches in slippers,
fired lip by the bloot\,of warm hearts, and puff
ing and blowing with love, kind words and liv
ing smiles, and I would show you a sight that,
would run a’-young man crazy, raise a dead
bachelor to life, and make an old widower com
mit suicide. ~ ___
I cannot trust royselPon ItnsglbfTouA theme;
I must desist or go crazy.
How TO Punch a Man.—“ Judge, you say if
I punch a man in fun, ho can take mo up fon
assault and: battery ?”
“ Yes, sir, I said that, and whafl say I re
peat. . If you punch a man, you are guilty of a
breach of the peace and can bo arrested for it.”
“ Ain’t there no exceptions ?"
. “ No, sir, no exceptions whatever.”
»• Now, Judge, I guess- you are mistaken —
suppose; for instance, I should brandy punch
him, what then ?”
“No levity in- court, sir. Sheriff, expose
this man to the atmosphere. Call tbo next
ease.”
Boluiitffr.
[T OR WRONG, OUR COUNTRY.”
KIPSISO.
At Rest.
. “ She is at rest,” said Urn village pastor, as
wo stood around the shrouded figure of the
dead. How sweet, how consolatory these
words seemed when applied to her who lay in a
dreamless slumber before us! The form, whose
dim outline could be seen through the, white
cerements of the grave, was wasted to a mere
shadow of its former symmetry, and the cold
hands folded over tho silent heart were so thin
and so transparent that you could trace each
blue vein.
There was nary a silver thread in the dark
hair, gathered back from the broad forehead ;
many a deep furrow on the pale and rigid face.
Care and sorrow had swept the bloom from the
cheek, and cast a gloomy shadow over the spir
it, which had now taken its flight heaveri
ward.
She had learned bitter lessons in human suf
ferings ; her home had been darkened by death,
and her husband and child had long been ten
ants of the tomb. The rosy visions of child
hood had thus melted away like the tints ol the
rainbow ; tho bright passion.dreams of youth
had fled ; the hopes and plans of mature years
had been grasped by the iron hand of adversi
ty. Friends had deserted her, and love had
grown cold. Her existence was a perpetual
struggle, yet amid every trial, every misfor
tune, she kept her faith in God undimmed.—
The silver cord was broken now : she was free
from toil and grief, she was at rest. Like the
tempest-tost mariner she made the perilous
voyage of life witli her gaze fixed on the day
star of Eternity, and in that peaceful heaven be
yond the river, of Death, her sweet repose is
endless. What can be more soothing than the
thought of eternal rest I
D comes to us with its calm and holy influ
ences, when Lite yqung pass away from earth,
and even in our lamentations for them, it is
cheering to know that they have' escaped the
snares of the world —that they will never min
gle in the wild strife for wealth and distinction ;
and never, feel the blighting breath of anguish.
When the poor die in piece we rejoice in the be
lief that they have found repose in the better
land. There no storms come, and no/clouds of
sorrow lower, but tho weary are at rest.
From Sebastopol.
Letters have been received in this city, dated
Sebastopol, May. 24th,- by which we learn that
the work of raising the suhktrt Russian fleet
progresses rapidly and with remarkablesuccess.
Wo make the following extracts from the let
ters: ■ ~v :
“We have raised whole the 10 gun vcsscl-of
war, Smelya, and brought her down to the Ad
miralty, slung between the caissons, last night.
She had over 300 tons of mud in her hold and
on her decks, hesides.all the ripging.ifon tanks,
pig iron ballast, &C...&C. She laid up the
South Bajvand as the rains Wash the steep
banks that comprise the side of the Bay, the
soil being quite alluvial', it constantly keeps the
water in a riled state, depositing the sediment
tm the decks and in the hatches; this,however,
is not -the case in the main harbor, and we only
tried this vessel to test the machinery before
-going to woilc to- nuse fho heavier vessels! 'The
caissons operated as well as we i expected, and
at rio tinie did we use over one fifth, of their
power. This; of coarse, demonstrates the en
tire feasibility of raising any and every ship in
the harbor of Sebastopol. : We shall, undoubt
edly, raise the whole fleet this summer. Next
week we shall raise a steamer whole, and shall
follow with raising all that are worth the labor,
whole, and blast with submarine charges the
balance.
The newspapers in America have done us
great injustice, by circulating the reports that
the Americans had abandoned the work here,
thinking it an impossibility. Now, the only
American that had a contract with the Russian
Government for this work was John E. Gowan,
of Boston, the well known and skilful subma
rine engineer, and this contract is now owned
by the Marine Exploring Company of Philadel
pbia, of which Company Col. Gowan is Presi
dent. This Company has expended in cash
about $200,000 in outfit, &c., and have no In
tention of abandoning the contract. The Smelya
'S not badly worm eaten ; she 'has two shot
holes below the water line, which were fired by
the allies, and sunk her. We have repaired
them,'and she now floats like a duck upon the.
water. The Russians were much pleased at
our success, &c., &c.,&0. —Boston Transcript.
Is- Anybody looting for Me?
A party of Louisville bloods wore standing
on the forward deck of a steamer bound from
St. Louis, and watching the varied scenes of
the levee. A man who looked as though he
might ho “from the rural districts,” attracted
their attention, and one of the crowd suggested
that some full might be had out of him. One
more aspirimg. than the rest, volunteered to
“try it on,” and going on shore he approached
the stranger, who was evidently.in deep cogita
lion,
The ‘Blood’ walked quietly up to the “Green
’un,”and slapping him on the, shoulder, ex
claimed—
“So rvcJo.undyou at last,have I? you’re
he man I’ve been looking lor 1”.
“I be, eh?” said‘Grcenoy,” not at all dis
nrbed, ,
“Yes, I’ve been looking for you all dayat
the same time winking to those yrho w;ero wait
ing to see the joke.
Tire green' dn’6 raised his afttt, and w v itnf &
powerful blow knocked tho. enterprising young
man prostrate, and turning’ around, shouted
out, “May be there’s Some one elso’looking (or
me? if there is, 1 am wafting t 6 be fonffirf.”
Tho “rightof search” was at dncofelinqniah
cd by the bloods, who from tho steamer’s deck
had seen how much fun was to b'c made out of
a “green ’im.” , "
A TninuTß to the Sex.—The subjoined lit
tle bit of comico-pathetico humor contains a
good deal of feeling-under a crust of Ethiopian
jargon, definable, perhaps, as a specimen of
real sentiment, disguised in broad grin’: ,“Dey
may rail agin women as much as doy like, but
dey can’t set'me agin dem. I hab , always in
my life found dem to'be fust in lub, fust in a
quarrel, fust in do dance, fust in do ice-ct earn,
saloon, and dc fust, best, and.de Inst in. desick
room. Wha.t would we poordebbils do widout
dem. Lot us bo born as young, as Ugly and.as
helpless as we please, .and a' Woman’s arm aha
opcn.lo rco'eibb u's. She it am who gubsusour
fust dose of caster oil, and puts cloze ’pon our
helplessly naked limbs, and cubbors up bur
foots and looses in long flannel petticoats; and
it am she, as wo grow up, who Hlis our dinner
baskets wid doughnuts and apples as wo staft
to school, arid lick us When We tears our tfoh
sis.”
O’ Bill, what brought ybu to prison !’ f
•Two constables, sir!'
“ And haifliqiibr anything lb do with it V”
“■Yes, Eliza teased me So, I had to r.tcic’iyi.”
That’s So’.—tt is said that ho foVt-pvcr suf
fered so much from a single battle ay has'tile
piano-forte from'the Battle of Prague.
DO - Bed skirts auif red shoes arc the latest
female agony.
AT §2,00 PER ANNUM,
Decidedly Coo).
The truth of the following story is vouched'
lor by tho Missouri correspondent of Harper's
Monthly :
Mot a hundred miles from hero, some six
months ago lived a,fair widow, possessed of
those shining qualities that most dazzle and
charm tho bachelor. She was young, hand,
sonio and very wealthy. Mrs. Jackson took an
eastern tour last summer, and was beset by many
suitors-ardent and anxious lovers-amohg whom 1
was a Kentucky lawyer, quite a promising man,
but so enamored did ho become of this fair wi
dow, that he left a lucrative practice at homo,
and followed.her through tho entire route of
fashionable travel. Ho mot her at Baltimore,
Philadelphia and New York; ho danced with
her at Saratoga and'Nenport; and when the
season was drawing to a close, lie happened to
bo with her at Niagara, and on the Ohio river,
and even at St. Louis, when she was almost
homo. Ho was always pleading professional
business ns tho reason for his excursions liere
and there ? but ho managed to pload bis own
suit out-of court when courting: the widow,
though ho saw. no evidence of a verdict coining
in his favor. At length Mrs. Jackson stepped
on hoard tho boat at St. Louts, to go up tho
Missouri to her own residence,.When, to her
surprise, the indefatigable advocate presented
himself, ns fresh ns a May morning. The widow
exclaimed” as she met him :
Why, Mr. Jones, I thought you wore going
to return to Louisville ?”
“Mrs. Jackson, my dear madam,” replied
tlio lawyer, “I am hero to renow (ho oiler of my
hand, and to beg your acceptance.”
“Keaily, air, I think I have boon sufficiently
explicit, and that you had no cucouriigemcht to
pursue the matter. ■, f
But I hoped, madam, that my devotion and
perseverance would be finally rewarded;”
“Do you'moan, then,” said the widow evi
dently softened, “ that you'really had no other
business in going this journey with me than to
prosecute this suit 7”
“ None in tho world, but the hope of winning
you.”
“ Then you shall be rewarded,” she replied,
with a merry twinkle in her roguish, beautiful,
eyes, which the lawyer mistook for a sweeter
passion, “ then, my dear sir, you shall be reward
ed. Tell mo now as a gentleman, how much
money you have spent on this tour 7”
. “Do you really wish to know 7”
“ Certainly, I do.” •’ .
-Mr. Jones took out his nolo.book and Soon
reported that he had spent nearly live hundred
dollars..
“ Well,” said tho lovely widow, “I do not
wish any oiio to lose by me,” extending her
purse to the lawyer.
“ Why, what do you moan, Mrs. Jncksonl”
“I mean'what I say; take it; take it, and pay
yourself for your summer’s work on my account,
and lot ns be quits.”
And ho did take it; and the widow had to
borrow money to got home. Tho widow was
taken all aback by tho lawyer’s cool acceptance
of tho gold, but he consoled himself with the
idea that if she would not be his bride she was
at least fair game.
Death and Life.— Directly after the “Mar
riage” head in newspapers comes “ Obituary.”
Typical of the wedding of-happiness and gtiefs
In this life. .TluJ-Shoutvoind-eong, and glee of
merry ones to-day will bo broken by wails of
sorrow to-morrow, for the sod will bo piled on
the breasts of .some ive thought not so near the
grave. ‘ Wo read who are married and wish them
Joy; a linebolow is tho record of deaths, arid
wo say mournfully, peace to their ashes I ■ Sor.
row treads on tho heels of Joy, songs are hush
ed by, the fopf fall Of. Death; laughs are broken
rudely—voices no matter how musical, are still
in a moment.
The Hodin’s Xove ron Manicixd. —It is a
curious fact that the love of our race is so in
nate in the robin ns to render him unhappy in
any other society—excepting only in'the breed
ing season, when all the birds are naturally shy
and suspicions for the welfare of their offspring.
Go into any wood, walk down any shady lane,
enter a cemetery, sent yourself in any country
church-yard, or. perch yourself on any rural
stile—within a few moments yon will assuredly
have a robin beside you, and ho will assuredly
introduce himself with a song. It is vain to
say to him, “Nay.” He fairly fascinates'yduj
he woes your heart and wins it. How many of
my successes are attributable to the hints affor
ded by this open-hearted, all-conquering bird.
—Kidd on theliohin. .
tCT* With,a wife, a husband’s .faults should
eb sacred. , A woman forgets what is due to
herself when she condescends to that refuge of
weakness, a female confident. A wife’s bosom
should be the tomb of her bus band’s failings,
and his character far more valuable, in her es
timation, than his life ; and vice versa.
ET’.lf an ugly woman is beloved, Hie passion
is a desperate one; for it must arise from a
strange weakness or infatuation outlie' part of
her lover, or from ebanns more secret and more
invincible Than those of beauty. .
tty “Sir,” said a rather wily, gentleman to
an acquaintance of ours, “My wife bad a fino
bpy about two nights ago, but, unfortunately,
bo died immediately alter bis birth.” “I don’t
wonder,” said onr jovial friend, “that when be
name into the world and saw who .his father
was, he immediately wont out of it.” ,
Qy-He that sols but on. a journey ol life,
with a profound knowledge of books, but a
shallow knowledge of men, with much sense of
others,-, yet a little o( his own, will find himself
as completely at a loss on occasions of common
and b'otfstant fccnTfenco as a Dutchman without
his pipe,-a Frenchman . iVith'ont his Wine, an
Italian without his fiddle, Or an Englishman
without his nmhrclla.
[E7” Daniel, Webster penned the following
sentiment: “If wo work uyon marble, it will
perish; if vie work upon brass, time will efface
it; it we rear fomplca.tlioywill crumble into
dust; but if wo work iVpbti 6'ur immortal minds
T-il pile imbue tliom with principles, with the
just fear of God and of their follow men, wo en
grave on those talents something which will
brighten to all eternity.”
K7”.A rather plain spoken clergyman once
took for,his text, this passage in the Psalms.
“ I said in my haste all men are liars.”
Looking up. apparently as if he saw the
Psalmist standing immediately before him, he
said:
‘You, Said so in ybur haste, did you David ?
wclf, if you had been here, you might have
said it after hVaiUifcd reflection.’
. ty7“ It'may seem remarkable that, in these
days, the greatest part of (he wMle-Vra’sbing is
donawith ink.
It is supposed that angels do not wear
dresses. Out- fashioablo ladies are getting more
and more angelic every year.
057" “Mrs. Snisslo, pa wants to know; if Jio
may lend 1 himself 16 your axe a little while 7 lie
lia(T alv.'ays father lend than borrow.
BA fool in a high station is like a man on
lop of a monument —everything appears small
16 him and ho appears small to everybody.
■ K7* Why is a legislator a most blasphemous
man ■ Because ho cannot take his scat without
an oath.
D3f“ Tho' young gentiefhan who. flew into
passion lias had his wings clipped.' :
Give.your tongue to ho gpvdmed hywis
ddht and plenty; not hatred' and toalftid. i; -
ICF" A dnc-armed njan is always an off-handed
kind of felloW.
KPT Every wooden leg that fpkps thejilaco of
a leg lost in battle, is a slump; speech against
war. T V/
OS'”-'None of yoijr unkind reflecfions,’ i ’as
Hip,old man said to the lobking-giass.' • :*■;
Ks* Oil and (ruth will get uppermost at last.
US 7 ” It has-been remarked that flic gallows
Was an Institution for.lhc elevation of mankind.
CG 7 ” A dandy is n chap who would ho a lady
if lie could; but as he han’t, does ail lie can to
show Hie Woi’ld lio is liof a matt; T , .i ? ,
NO. 6.
[l3 7 ”llope—a.scnlinient exhibited in the yeag
of a dog’s tail, when lie’s Waiting for a bone.. .
D3 7 * A good action fs never fhrbvvnaWay, and
perhaps that is Hie reason why we find sofewof
them'. . :
CC7” Why ate hoops like Obstinate men 7 jßet
cause they often stand outabout ( ; . .
[E?~.Notli;ng remains so long in the meinbry
ns wrong deeds. They are nettles whlcfi Cannot
be ploughed out of sight, but will spring up With
fresh stings at every disturbance. • ■ < 1 '
KF* Affections, like (ho conscience, nrorath
cr to bo led than driven.; and it is to'be feared
that they who marry where they do not love, will
love where they do not marry. ■ ■ . :
Bp- An Irishman malting love to' a iridy of
groat fortune, told her, “he could not sleep for
dreaming of her.”
[ TP- A traveller 'announces that lio orii'o lie*
ie)d people “ minding their own business I”
This happonedat sea—the,passengers being too
sick to attend to each other’s concerns.’
KF”A man out -west moves so often that
whenever a covered wagon comes along, his
chickens fall upon (heir backs and.cross-.their
legs, ready to bo carried ‘ ■ ‘-i V
BP“ I am absolutely afraid, said an extrafar
gant nobleman, that ! shall die a pauper. , At
tho rate you go on, replied tho lawyer, X am
afraid you will live one. ’ k’
[E?*The minislryhavo.thrown:me6verbbafd,’’
sriid a disappointed politician, “but I’ve strength
enough'to swim to the other side I”
BP~ An infamous old bachelor being asked if
ic had ever witnessed’ a public execution, ro-‘
died “No, hut X once saw a'marriage.” '
BP" This is too grave a matter to make light
of j as the whale said to the man who was dipping
(ho oil out of his head. ■.
BP~ Tho yomig man who cast ids eye at a"
’oung lady coming out of church, has had itre-t
ilacod,.and sees aSjWell as'over.' '
Bp~. If you are a precise man, tfnet viish to ba
certain of what yon got, never marry a girl
named Ann; for we have the authority of Lind-'
ly Murry and others, that “ an is an irideflriltci
article. ■ .
U'r’Tf'yon wish to cure n'scolding n-iio,‘nev
er faille iangh at her with aft your might till aha
ceases—tlicn kiss her. Sure cure and no quack
medicine. .
Op- A shoemaker 1 , intending to bo abSorit-*
few days, lampblacked a shingle with tlio idlldw-'
ing, -without date, and nailed it upon his door—'■
“Will be at homo in lei days frdrii tho tinSe you*
she thisshingle.” ’ .if;■
OP~ I’ersomil respectability‘iri totally : indoJ
pendent of Inigo income. Its great, secfel is
solf-rcspcct. Poverty can Jiayer degrade thosa
who never degrade themselves by pretence' Or
duplicity. •’
- Op- Kod clidoka are only Oxygon in another
shape. Girls anxious to wearqpaif;rifltV’ flnd
them whdfe tho roses do—duT'sr : d«trt^ s iaß.'
CP- Tho man who threatens the world is al.
way's ridiculous; for tho world'can go on nftthdrit
him, and in a short time cerises to miss"him*.,
OP-If yohld loar'n to bow, watch a moan man
wheiilid talks to a gentleman of wealth’.
~ DP- The mother who saw another baby prat
tler than her own, ha’s boon sent to a lunritln
asylum.
Gy The Hindoos' believe tbaf after d'catli tba
soul .must pass through seven
into the bodies of different animals before if ig
finally judged by Drama. ’ ' •' 1 •
fly The man “ trc'liiml the age” was over
thrown by the advancing civilization of tha
“ coming generation.” ,
US” the fnftro w l o practice virtue, the
it becomes, as two friends' love each other the
more, the more they know each other.
K7”Dr. South says:—“Tho tale-bearer aM
the tale-bearer should bo banged up both togb
ther—tlic former by the tongue, the latter by thi
oaf.” ,* , _
Tquth and Ann.—ln youth, it is most diffi
cult to renounce a pleasure—in age, to fenounta
a prejudice.' ' . . ■
tty A year ol pleasure passes like a floating
breeze; but a moment of. misfortune seems an
ago of pain.- , T
U—q' Our young ladies do not insist on a high
standing of young gentlemen, hence a vafiotjr
of private miseries and public vide; A “correct
young man is the butt of. society; and there are
wise men who contend that the" world is always
rigid. . .
Os' Why is nn overloaded gun like an office
holder I Bccafisb it kicks mightily when it is
discharged. ’ -
; K 5” I-eavo your grievances, as Napoleon did
Ids letters, unopened for three weeks, and it Is
astonishing how few of them, by that time,'will
reqfdro answering; - ■
K 5" “I liked your dessert better, than yout
dinner yesterday.” “.What dessert ?” asked
>rl'oiir conversation,” replied his.gucstl
.tty Hots no mean philosopher Who can giro
a reason for half of what lie thinks. ■.
Ciyi canfiot bear to sec a boar boar .down
npo* ,a hare, when barb of hair ho strips ttid
hare, for liaxo-J ciy “forbear.” - .
try Contradicted—Tho report that a Yanked
lad invented a machine to take the noise 6nt fif
bunder. " ; , - '
I met her in (ho stinsliipo btlght.
Her gingham. g6wn was blue,
Hero-eyes that danced with pure delictit,
. Wore of the samc’denr ImeV ;
And always wliou the sun goes.d6wn, "
* I think ot the girl in the gingham gown,
DC?r There is a pigeon -roost at Green Bay,
AVis., ono-arid-a-lialt miles wide and seven miles
long. Another is' reported on the north branch
of the Oconto lliver, still larger.
lb/" Allow a boy to run at largo 6n6 year in
indolence, and you have laid (ho foundation
whereon will bo built Ills future ruin. .
CC?“ The following atlecting. epitaph may bo
found, says an exchange, upon a tombstone in’
CunncCticAt: , b
“iHofo lies, cltfdown like unripe fruit,
The wife of Deacon Amos Sbute: ';
Site died of drinking too much coffee,
Anj v Dominy eighteen forty.”
A Labi’s Pobtiiait. —“She had certainly
sonic qualities to shino- in a‘ fashionable circle.
She bad plenty of apathy—dais tolerable cajlti
cions—was brilliantly vuiiiniid fertilely illiterate
—acquiesced with every One, and diffused uni
versal smiles.” 1
Why is love lifco'a oanai boat 7' Because
it is an Internal transport, o ,
K7”Sonio years ago Mr, KichvOll was preach
ing to » large audience in a wild part of Illinois,,
md announced (or bis text: “In my father's
muse aro many mansions.” • ’
He bad scarcely commenced, when ah old
coon stood up and said: “I toll you, folks;
(bat’s a lie. I know bis father well. Ho lived
fifteen miles from Lexington, in old Kontnok,
in an old, cabin, and there aint but one room In
, (be bouse.”
SM ndb (Batik
y **4<v
ob -
a