AMERICAN VOLUNTEER.
■PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING
By jolun B. Bratton.
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.ffottifal
EEART HISTORY.
On£C upon a time, a niaiden
Sat beneath a hawthorn© tree,
And hcr lovcr close beside her,
. Murmured vows of constancy.
Fairer, sweeter than the blossom,
■ Hanging over her was she,
And hot heart, within her bosom
.Throbbed and moved tumultuously
both were young, and fond and foolish;
. rich, the story goes 5
Ma was pround, and Pa was mulish.
Great their loves and great their woes,
feo they klssod, and wept, and parted,
5 TSwearlng to bo over true.
/fibled-tho maiden broken hearted 7
y Was the lover falthihl/tbo 7
Pshaw! she wed a wealthy banker,
(Slander, whispered she was sold,)
And no, city dames outrank her,
Wlthhdr pocket full of gold
Queen at every ball and party,
Decked with laces and jewels rare,
Looking fresh and hearty,
Reigns the victim- of despair.
Ho—confound the lucky fellow—
f Took a widow thrice his years;
Fat dnd forty, ripe and mellow;
■With a brace of “little dears
Big plantation, servants plenty,
Splendid mansion, pomp and case,
Cured the boyish love of twenty,
>; Thot incurable disease.
Loam from this, ye dotting lovers,
In your anguish, not to break
.Anything of greater value,
...Than the promises you make.
Bioaria wore made to put In motion
Bltfdd that otherwise would cool •,
llMeaabre, profit and promotion,
t V\Graduato at Cupid’s school.
PARODY’
Drayman, spare that whip !
l ' Don’t touch me on the raw.
That harness galls my hip—
Don’t tug so at my jaw.
In vain you urge my speed—
In vain you soundly flog,
TouknowYkn broken knec’d,
And cannot faster jog.
. That old familllnr-lash,
Prom whips fff groat renown,
.Cut once a mighty dash —
I’m glad its now noxE nnowN.
Then, drayman," spare that stroke—
♦ Dont cudgel mo, I pray, •
That double knot’s no joke—
'Would I could bolt away I
% grilling Ikridj
From Sharpe's London Magazine.
A LEAP FOR LIFE.
DV WILLIAM DURTOX.
After my discharge from tho* hospital at Ila
▼ona, I shipped in tho American barquo Indo;
lJaptaln' Kbtfbrt Jj—- bound -tb'
and then round tho Horn to' tho
Western coast *of North America. She was a
large vessel, of some seven hundred tons rogis
tdr, with a handsome poop, top gallant forecastle
and all other points of n flash ship. • The captain
was a native of Jersey, and tho crow wore a mix
ture of Americans, British and Spaniards* with a
sprinkling of woolly-heads, or “snow balls,” as
jve called the negroes.
Wo had not been a week out, ore very groat
dissatisfaction prevailed among tho crow, for the
captain, with unaccountable perversity, did not
allow ns half enough junk (I. c. salted beef) to
our meals 5 and even what wo did get, was what
sailors call “oW horse,” viz : hard, tough, lean,
stringy stuff, devoid of nourishment. Tho usual
allowance of junk on ship-board la one pound
and a half for each num per diem; but lam sure
wo did not gel more than half that quantity.—
Tho captain used to come on deck every morn
ing, and stand by the steward as ho weighed out
tho junk from tho “harness cask,” to seo that
wo did not get an ounce over what he had order
ed, On tho other hand, this captain allowed us
thrice as much grog as la usual. But sailors,
although very fond of rum, can’t Hvc upon It j
and throe quarters of a pound of “old horse,”
and a few rotten biscuits, quite alive with “wee
vils/’ was a poor day’s ajlowanco for a hearty
follow.
Our firstmato ofter remonstrated with tho cap
tain on his cdnducl, and plainly told him that tho
men would not submit to it; but the only reply
the captain ado was to toll. him to mind what
ho was about, or ho would “break him and Acre
him np/’-~moanlng that ho would send tho mote
forward as a common sailor, and* work him to
death. At length, after a long and fierce dis
cussion in tho forecastle, wo all went aft one
morning in a body, and complained through the
carpenter, ns spokesman, that wo had not enough
<o oat. Captain L listened without Inter
ruption,and then coolly turned round and said—
“ Steward, go down into tho cabin, and bring
my pistols.”
Wo looked at one another In silence.
In a couple of minutes tho seward returned
with tho pistols, and, with a face ns pale as death,
handed them to tho captain. Tho latter coolly
placed them both on full cock, and laying them
side by sldo on the top of tho binnacle, crossed
his arms, and glared round at every soul of us
cro ho spoke.
“Now, rtlon,” cried he at length, between his
tooth, “all I’ve got to say Is, that you aro mis
taken If you think you are going to got tho up
per hand of mo. lam yonrcnptain,and tho law
gives mo power to do what I like. You didn’t
ship to bully mo. Go for’ard to your duty, and
tho first man that hesltatof’, or gives mo any jaw,
I’ll shoot him as I would a pigeon!”
Wo tumbled to the forecastle In a body, and for
hours after, tho captain walked tho dock big with
his achievement.
Wo had light baffling winds Tor many days, and
tho temper of tho captain grow perfectly savage.
By-and-by came a calm and ho was a complete
madman. Ho stormed and swore from morning
to night, and “hazed” us all, from tho cabin boy
up to tho mate. Onr allowance of meat was
worse than over, and ho stopped grog altogether,
and put us on half allowance of water, under pre
tence that ho feared to run short If tho calm
lasted. But when a broozo sprung up at tho ex
piration of four days, our allowance remained
tho same—half moat, half water, no grog I Tho
sailors grow half desperate, and curses both loud
and deep wore handled from mouth to mouth,
and indistinct menaces muttered.
■ By-and-by it grew whispered In tho ship that
tho captain had had bcoup-de-solcil, or sun stroke
before leaving Havana, and that bo bad drank
freely of brandy ever since, and was consequent
ly really insane.to a certain extent. This would
explain his ponduct, and wo all wore Inclined to
acoopt It ns tho proper solution5 but the captain
had certainly never yet committed any act which
would legally bo hold proof of Insanity j for all
that ho did, although highly cruol and tyrannic
al, was within tho bounds of that fosrful amount
of almost irresponsible power that tho law al
lows to son captains.
Wo had boon throe wooksont, when it was my
morning to watch on dock. Six bolls (7 o’clock)
had Just boon struck, and I was engaged colling
eway tho lino of tho log, which had boon hovo by
BY JOHN B. BRATTON.
VOL 41,
order of the mate, then In charge of the dock,
when Captain L- — unexpectedly came out of
the cabin. I noticedthathebadowild, nervous
look, for ho ghncod around and aloft, fust as a
man might do when suddenly aroused from a
dream.
“What’s the course 7” he abruptly demanded
of the man at the wheel.
‘‘South east by east, sir.”
The captain then • stepped up to the binnacle
and looked atthc compass. Turning round with
an oath, he struck the man a blow in the mouth
that knocked him away from the wheel, and
thundred—
“Fou take the spokes in Jiand I You know no
more about steering than your mother I”
(Such were the exact words, for I distinctly
remember them.)
The poor fellow, who was ode of tho best helms
men in tho ship% took hold of tho spokes again,
the trickling down his chin, and muttered,
“I was steering to a haira-breadth.”
“What’s that you qay 7”
“I say I was steering as well as any man could
and you’re a tyrant, captain.”
Tho captain’s face grow black with passion,
and tho light foam flew from his Ups, as he
screamed—
“Mr. Jackson, clap this follow in irons ! No,
seize him up—make a spread-eagle oi him! I’ll
teach him to too thojrmrk!”
The mate, Jackson, in vain attempted to soothe
(he madman, who compelled his officers to “seize
up” the unfortunate sailor—that is, to lash his
wrists to the shrouds, with his back bare for pun
ishment. Tliis ip called making a “spread ea
gle.” I dare not dilate on the sickening scene
that ensued. Suffice it that the captain with ins
own hand flogged the man most brutally in pre
sence of all hands, and not a soul of us dared to
speak.
That night we all signed a “round robin,” that
is, a paper stating a grievance, or petition, with
the names written in u circle, so that not one can
be pitched upon as the ringleader—addressed to
the chief mate, stating that wo all felt that our
lives were not safe intho hands of the captain,
as ho was obviously Insane, and requesting the
mate to take command of the ship, and place the
captain in confinement. We sent this to Mr.
Jackson by one of the boys, and in a quarter of
an hour the mate came forward^
“Men,” said ho, “do you know what you arc
about 1 Yon are in open mutiny—and you know
what the penalty for that is. For God’s sake let
us have no more of this. Captain L is
captain, and, his will is law. We must all sub
mit to lt;^. - W.4ro f to do my duty strictly, I
should show/Vtlfis,” pointing to the round
robin, “to tbercaptain ; but I don’t want to make
matters worse. Let us got to port, and then
complain as you please. Hulf'oryourownsakes
—and for my sake—don’t mutiny.”
.Wo all respected the mate, and his words made
a great impression. We consulted together, and
the prndepcc of the majority overcame the fierce
Impulse •of.tho holder spirits. It was, however,
tacitly understood, (hat If matters grow much
worse, wc would risk the dreadful penally ot
mutiny by seizing the captain? for we now con
sidered ho was undoubtedly insane,although the
mate acted rightly enough in holding aloof at
present, ns the captain had not yet evinced Him
self incapable of managing the ship.
Whether any whisper had leaked out in the
cabin, through the steward or officers, I cannot
tell, but the coplain undoubtedly suspected wiiat
had passed. At noon the next day ho camo_ on
deck, with a double barrelled grin in his hands,
and deliberately loaded It with ball, tumour., pnfAf
once. When he had don 6 this, ho .called all
hands aft, and in a language that sufficiently io
jji.c^mcl v ,front Ijs-wUcLducoherpnoy, th&t-’ho was
undoubtedly insane, ho addressed the crow wind
ing up*\vUh tho words—
“ You tliink to got 'the upper hand of mo, do
you 7 You will mutiny—you will take the ship
away j(Vom me?. I’ll make an example—l’ll
show you whom you have to deal with! Mr.
Jackson, let those two men ho seized up this
minute, for I'H nuke spread eagles of ’em sure
as I live.”
Ah he spoke tho captain pointed to two of the
nearest men—one an American, the other an
Englishman. These poor fellows looked round
at their messmates, and seeing how undecided
all were, they suddenly sprang into the rigging—
running aloft for safety.
The captain's eyes glared like a wild beast's
and seizing his pun, he shouted—
“Conui down this moment, both of ye, or I'll
shoot ye!”
They saw the threatening movement,and heard
the command ; but this only caused (hem to run
up tho rigging higher and higher. Twice more
the captain hailed them; and then ho raised his
piece, and quick as lightning, levelled and fired.
A burst of execration from us all followed, for
the ball had struck the Englishman, and broken
his leg. Ho fell liko a wounded bird into tho
main tpp, and screamed in agony.
“Oh, Godf what hove you clone, Capt. L-— 1”
exclaimed the horror-stricken mate. “You have
committed murder I”
“No. I have not,” answered tho captain. “I
ordered tho follow down, and If ho won’t obey,
it’s mutiny, and tho law will justify me in killing
him, or killing you cither —so mind wbut you
say.”
'The mate turned aside, and when one of tho
oldest seamen whispered in his car—“ Say the
word, sir, and wo will clap the madman in Irons,”
ho only shook his head, and burle'u his face in
his hands.
Meanwhile tho American, a fine young follow,
knowm by tho soubriquet of “Boston Bill,” had
ascended to tho royal yard, and was looking
down on dock to seo what course matters wore
talcing. Tho captain, not satlstlcd with disabling
one man, at this moment pointed Ids gun at him,
and hoarsely ordered him on dock, threatening
to shoot him it ho refused.
“Como down, man, for heaven's sake!” re
peated Ibe mate.
“lie will flog me If 1 do, nir.”
“Yes, I'll flog you, sure enough,” yelled the
captain.
“Then I will die before I come down I”
Without another ward, tho captain commenced
taking a deliberate aim, and hall a dozen voices
shouted to tho man whoso life was In this fear-
Ail Jeopardy,—
“Jump overboard, Bill, or you arc a dead man I
Jump for life 1”
In an Instant tho sailor ran along tho footropo,
and clung to tho royal yard-arm to looward. Tho
alternative was Indeed horrible. If ho descend,
od ho would bo flogged—lf ho remained ho would
ho shot—it ho leaped overboard from that dread
ful height ho ran tho risk of being dashed to
pieces If ho fell sideways on tho water, or of be
ing snapped by a shark or drowned, lot him fhll
which way ho would. Tbo captain shifted his
aim and his finger was on tho tj-lgger.
“Jump, Bill, jump!” screamed his messmates,
and his resolution was taken. Ho would leup
for life I
Lowering himself from tho yard-arms with bis
hands, ho pointed feet downward, and clovo tho
alrwith tho velocity of a cannon-ball. A second
or two, and ho bud disappeared in tbo curling
gruon sen.
Tho pont up excitement of tho crow found
vent at this .moment. One party rushed on iho
captain, and disarmed ami bound him, while tho
rest put tho holm down and throw tho sails abnok,
to stop tbo motion of tho ship, and sprang to tho
falls of tho quarter-boat to lower away to pick
up the American, should ho riso to tho surAice.
A breathless pause of very nearly a minute
ensued, and then wo behold tho bond of tho sall
omorgo at tho distance of a hundred yards \ and
being a capital water-dog, ho struck out boldly
for tho shin, and amid a loud hurra was picked
up. Ills ‘leap for Hfo* had boon succossAd.
Tbo other poor fellow who was shot aloft was
lowered on deck In a allng. 110 was moro In
jured by tho fall than by tho ball Jn his leg, and
died tho same night In extreme-agony.
- i .
“OL’B COUNTRY—if AY IT ALWAYS BE BIGHT—-BUT BIGHT OB fITIQNO, OUR COUNTRY.”
The mate now consented to take command of
tho ship, and Captain L> was closely con
fined till we came to port. By that time he was
raving mad, and he died within three days after
being conveyed to the hospital ashore.
An Indian Ceremony
Among tho many curious ceremonies charac
teristic of.the California Indians, one of the
most interesting and imposing, is said to be the
‘‘Feast of Gympsum”—which celebrates the
introduction of boys to manhood. On tho oc
casion of this ceremony, due notice of the feast
having been given, and invitations extended to
neighboring friendly villages, all the youths
who havoattained the requisite ago are confined
within the dwelling of some chief, and obliged
to swallow n-.decoction of gympsum or stram
onium, sufficiently strong to destroy all power
of muscular action and sensibility for an entire
night. The female choir of the village then as
semble around the tent, decorated in their gay
est dresses, and surrounded by a body guard
of old men, one of whom acts as director of the
: proceedings. The younger men and invited
guests enter the ring, divested of the greater
part of their clothing, profusely ornamented
with feathers, and covered with alternate stripes
of black and white paint. Tho director then
makes a short speech and commences dancing.
The entire choir bursts out into a song by no
means unmusical, and‘all the men within the
ring proceed to follow’ the example of their di
rector in a scries of steps which set at defiance
all conventional rules for the poetry of motion.
At the close of the song, the old men puff from
their mouths a volumcof wind towards heaven,
and with a loud howl the dancers retire to re
cover breath.
Three nights are spent in this manner, with
the exception that after the first night the
youths, who have recovered from their stupor,
are allowed to participate in the dancing. On
the first day after their recovery from the effects
of the medicine—which effects are said to re
semble somewhat the delightful sensations pro
duced by the of the Arabs—they are
presented with water and paint, and after hav
ing performed ablutions ami painted themsel
ves, arc led into the field ami taught the myste
ries of planting and harvesting—also how to
construct the various kinds of lodges, and how
to ensnare the different species of game used by
them for food. They are also daily lectured
upon the “arts” of war. theft, and deception.
This instruction continues for three days, dur
ing which time they are inducted into a now
and higher stylo of dance. On the third day
they arc lectured upon religion, the creation of
the earth, and the history of the human race,
and are then dismissed to the liberties of man
hood.—lfojfon Journal.
Ancctlolc of Parson Brownlow.
TTc once heard an anecdote told of the Par
son, which, if true, clearly shows that what he
thinks is right, he will endeavor to maintain.—
It is said that he was once notified by one of the
greatest pugilists and bragadocias in Tennes
see. that if he attempted to preach again at a
certain place, he would bo taken from the pulpit
and publicly whipt in the presence of his con
gregation. The persons present knowing the
,mpn who had thus threatened the Parson to bo
.n-deaporate fellow,.advised him not to preach.
They were requested not to give thcmsclrcfflmy
trouble, as ,Uo.,woabLaVbcmd-to .the.tnjtf.flsr him
self. '• , ‘
Sunday morning came, and so did the Par
son at tile appointed hour, and took his place
in the pulpit. Upon looking around, lie saw
the follow who had threatened him, with a num
ber of his friends occupying . a portion of the
church near the pulpit. the usual
exercises by opening the Bible which lay upon
the desk—ho then removed from his right coat
pocket a revolver, and placed it at the right of
the word of truth—then another to his left; he
then drew from his bosom a largo and heavy
howio knife, and laid it across the leaves, to
prevent the wind from turning (hem. This was
an argument which forboded certain results:
his opponents were so perfectly amazed with
the beginning of the sermon, IhaKtlwy conclud
ed it best not to interfere with him, and it is
said that no set of men ever got such a scorch
ing ns did some of his congregation upon that
occasion.
Cost of thk Mammoth Cavk.— Colonel Cor
gan, to whose family it belongs, was a resident
of Louisville. Ho went to Europe, some twenty
years ago, and, as an American, found himself
frequently questioned of the wonders of the
Mammoth Cave —a place he had never visited,
ami which, at home, though living within nine
ty miles of it, ho had heard very little. He went
Incrc on hia return, and the idea struck him to
purchase and make it a family inheritance.—
In fifteen minutes bargaining he bought it for
slo,ooo—though shortly' after he was oflered
$lOO,OOO for his purchase. In hia will ho tied
it up in such a way, that it must remain in his
family for two generations, thus appending its
celebrity to hia name. There aro 1000 acres in
the estate, —though tho cave probably' run*
under the property of a great number of other
land owners. For fear of those who might dig
down and establish an entrance to the cave on
their own property’, (a man’s farm extending
up to the zenith and down to the nadir,) great
vigilance is exercised to prevent such subterra
nean surveys and mcasuremcnlsas would enable
them to sink a shaft with any certainty. The
cave extends ten or twelve miles in several di
rections, and there is probably many a back
woodman sitting in his hut within ten miles of
the cave quite unconscious that (he most fash
ionable ladies and gentlemen of Europe and
America, are walking without leave under his
corn and potatoes 1
Dignity or Trade.—Wo liko to see a man,
no matter what business ho may bo engaged in,
to have a respect for It. It elevates labor, and
ennobles trade.
Tho other day, In tho neighborhood of tho
Park, wo encountered n tall, dignified looking
man, in a long seedy frock coat, buttoned up' to
tho chin, with a glossy silk hat, presiding at an
npplo stand. Somo how or other his manner,
his “stylo” struck us.
vWhttt Is tho prlco of these apples,’ wo asked,
pointing to a pile of red ones.
•IVo shall have to charge two cents for those,
said ho i ‘they are superior article» but
thoro is an apple,’ ho added, ‘and of a good
quality, that wo put younta cent I’
‘Shade of Commerce!’ Uo couldn’t have
said more nor in a more pretention manner, Ifho
had boon offering tho rarest goods In Stewart’s
marble palaco. Ho was very far from being
what Mrs. Partington terms 'non pompos u’en
lit.’
Tocno Amkuioa. —ln his lately published vol
ume of lectures on “tiro moral aspects of city
life,” Rov. E. 11. Chapin says—“ There aro
young men whoso solo conception of enjoyment
is concentrated in tho word “Fast”—who grows
fast, tivo fast, go fast on tho road to destruction,
with tholr own folly for a locomotive, and cham
nalgno and brandy for tho steam power, convert
ing themselves Into liquor casks, propphg up
door posts, hanging over railings, and startling
tbo dull air of night with rickety melody and
druken whoops. There are othqrs, half fop and
half ruffian, who dlvjdo tholr tlmo between the.
lUvorlto racer and tho pqt pugilist, and whoso
Idea of a mlllenlum, probably, would bo that of
a protracted Fourth of July.”
CARLISLE, PA, TfIUESDAY, JULY -13, 1854,
fidelity.
Ono cvo ofbeauty, wtion fho sun
Was on the streamer Guadalquivcr,
The gold converting,'oho by one,
The ripples of tho mighty river 5,
Beside me on tho bank was seated
A Seville girl with aubnrn hair,
And eyes that might }ho .world have cheated,
A wild, bright, wicked, diamond pair!
She stooped and wrbtp’upon the sand,
Just os tho loving sun was going.
"W ith such a soft, -small, shining hand,
I could have sworn *twas silver tinning.
Her words were three,' and not ono more,
What could Diana’s motto be 1
The Syren wrote upon tho shore—
“ Death, not inconstancy.”
And then her two largo languid eyes
So turned on mine) that, devil take me,
I set tho air on fire with sighs,
And was tho fool she choose to make me,
Saint Patrick would have been deceived,
With such an eye and such a hand;
But ono week more, and I believed
As much the woman as tho sand.
THE RECONCILIATION.
A PLEASING SKETCH.
‘Well, I think it is.likely; but don't tease |
me any more. Your','fcrothcr has married a (
poor girl, one whomlTorbado him to marry : j
ami I won’t forgive hitri/if they all starve to-J
golhcr.’ • j
This speech was addressed to a lovely girl.;
scarcely eighteen; !>6atltiful ns the lilv that,
hides itself beneath tho.dark waters. She was
parting the silvery lookk on her father's high.;
handsome forehead,' her own was a,
miniature, and pleading the cause of her de- j
linquent brother, who.hfld married in opposition j
to her father’s will, and had consequently been i
disinherited. Mr. Wheatly was a neb old gen-
resident of Boston. He was a fall
good-natured old fellow, somewhat given I o mi n 1 1 1
and wine, and satin lus arm chair, from morn
ing till night, smoking his pipe, ami reading
the newspapers. Sometimes a story of his own
exploits in our revolutionary’ battles, filled up
a passing hour. 110 hr.d two children, .the dis
obedient son, and tljfl beautiful girl spoken of.
The foud girl wcn^.'ph‘pleading:
•Dear father do forgive him : you don’t know
what a beautiful girl no has married, and— 1
‘I think it’s likely;'said the old man: ‘hut
don’t tenke me, and open tho door a Utile, this
plaguy roomsmokes so:!..
•Well.’continued EJlfin, ‘won't yon Just see
her, now ?—she is so good, aud the little boy,
he looks so innocent.','-.' - ? ‘
‘What did you sajJ ; interrupted the father:
a boy ! have I g grand child ? Why, Kllen. I
never knew that before’! but I think it’shkely.
Well, now, give mo tby chocolate, and then go
to your music lesson,!'*
Kllen left.him.. Ttioold man's heart began
to relent. i
‘Well,’ he went was always a
goad hoy, a little wilft'wjsfio College, but I.
indulged him; and hV always was gqpd’ to'hrs
old father, for all; lint bo disobeyed me, by
marrying this poor girl; yet Cos my old friend
and fellow soldier, -TpmJ&nm.T- used to.say, we
waist forgivoo, Poor flmjgiVt-allmy
'e&vimifa w!Schatevcr- be«oh3gJ
jot mm.- df I cbiud buir-flnd bim or one of his
children ! Heaven grant that they are not suf
fering! This, plaguy smoky room, how my
eyes water! If I did but know who tills girl
was that my Charles has married : but I have
never enquired her name. I’ll find out ami—
'l think its likely.' Saul the old man.
Ellen led into the room n beautiful hoy. about
two years old. His curly hair and rosy cheeks
could uot but make one love him.
‘Who is that ?’ said the old man, wiping his
eyes.
‘That—that is Charles’ boy,’ said Ellen,
throwing one of her arms around her father's
neck, while with the other she placed the child
on his knee. The child looked tenderly up into
his face, and lisped out,
•Graml-pa, what makes you cry so ?’
The old man clasped the child to Ins bosom,
kissed him again and again. After his emotion
had a little subsided, ho bade the child tell Ids
name.
‘Thomas TThoncr rally,’ said the boy, T am
named after graml-na.’
‘What do I hear ?' said the old man ; ‘Thom
as Homier your grandfather?*
•Yes,’ lisped the boy, ‘and he lives with mo
at ’
‘Get mo nvy cane.'said the old man, ‘and
come; be quick, child.’
Tiny started offal a quick pace, which soon
brought them to the poor, though neat lodgings
of his:fion. There ho beheld his old friend,
Thomas Bonner, seated in one corner, weav
ing baskets, while his swathed limbs showed
how unable ho was to perform the necessary
task. Uis lovely daughter, the wife of Charles,
was preparing their frugal meal, and Charles
was out seeking employment to support his
needy family.
‘lt’s all my fault,’ sobbed the old man, as he
embraced his friend, who was petrified with
amazement.
‘Conic,’ said Mr. Wheatly, ‘come all of yftn
home with me, we will all live together, there is
plenty of room in my house for ns all.’
By this time Chorles hod come. lie asked
his father’s forgiveness, which was freely given,
ami Ellen was almost mad with joy.
‘Oh, how happy we shall be ! she exclaimed :
‘and father will love our little Thomas so, and
he’ll bo your pct, won*t ho, father ?’
‘Ay,’said the old roan,‘l think it’s very
likely.*
•Fashionable Folly.—Wo observe that tho
New York flishlonablos are endeavoring iq out
do each other in tho cos/ftnesj of their evening
parties, and It la said that a lady’s dross that
Cbata less than on« thousand dollars, is consider
ed quite n mean affair. *
There is nothing more vulgar than tho at
tempt on the part of American ladies to imitate
tho fluhkylsm of tho rich trades-folks of Eng
land, who, being shut out of aristocratic circles
by blood, undo thorn’jn extravagant waste of
dollars In nil their entertainments under tho de
lusion that they ore thus elevating their social
position, A rich butcher of London, wo observe,
astonished tho natives recently, by appoarlngin
his carriage In his shirt sleeves, with a coachman
and footman In elegant livery. Now ho was a
manofsonso compared with tho vulgar mob of
fools who spend their money In laces at ono
hundred dollars per yard, to bo crushed at an
evening party inudoupof silly women and young
gentlemen in white kids, who never earned an ,
honest dollar, and-nro ashamed of their grand- 1
1 father if ho happened to bo a worthy soap-boiler
or mechanic. There Is nothing so foolish ami
weak as tho conduct of tho “Upper ten In our
largo cities, and no glass Is more immeasurably
and Justly dfsplecd. / Tho -whole time of mana
glng mothers and Intriguing daughters a spent
in making a salo of their ofßmnng and thorn
solves to tho upsfurt rich—while to sustain their
folly fhoir ftthercfrfo coining their ooncionco
Into dollarsln Waft street. Tho happiness grow-
Inc out of thosofhatchos Is easily measured.—
Tho noble son or noble daughter of an honest
flirmor outranks in worth and greatness a whole
ballroom,full of such tinselled, brainless ana
heartless creatures.
i Story of Circumstantial Evidence.
Some years ago, I went especially to Clotp
woll assizes and accidentally witnessed a trial
which I never shall forget. A wretched man,
a native of that county, was charged with the
murder of his neighbor. It seemed that an
ancient fued existed between them. They had
met at a fair, exchanged blows ; again that eve
ning they met at a low pothouse and the bodily
interference of friends alone prevented a fight
between > them. Tim prisoner was heard to
vow vengeance against his rival. The wretch
ed victim left the house, iollowed by the prison
er, and was found next day on tho road side,
murdered and his face barbarously beaten in
by a stone so that ho could only be identified
by his dress. The facts were strong against i
the prisoner ; in fact it was the strongest ease |
of circumstantial evidence I ever met with.—
As a form—of his guilt there was no doubt—
the prisoner was called for his defence. He call
ed, to tho surprise of every one, tho murdered
man. And the murdered man came forward. —
It seemed that another man had been murdered
—the identification by dress was vague, for all
the peasantry of Tipperary wear the - same de
scription of clothes—that the presumed victim
had got a hint that he would Le arrested under
the White Boy Act—had fled, and only return
ed with a noble Irish-•filling of Justice, when
he found that his ancient foe was in jeopardy on
I Ins account. The case was clear; the prisoner
was innocent. The judge told the jury it was
I unnecessary to charge them. They requested
I permission to retire: they returned in about
I two hours, when the foreman with a long face
handed him the verdict of ‘guilty.’ Everyone
was astonished. ‘Good God !’ said the Judge,
‘of what is he guilty ? Not of murder, surely V
•No mv lord,’ said the foreman, 'but if he did
not murder that man, he stole my mure three
years ago.’—Dome/ O'ConnrU.
rn.riT Zkat.. —Xo man was ever scolded mil
ot his sins. Th£ heart, corrupt as it is, »ml he. '
cause it is so, grows angry if it he not treated
with some management and good manners, and 1
scolds back again.', A surly mastiff will bear per-:
haps to be stroked, though ho will growl even j
under ttie operation, hut ifydu touch him rough- j
ly he will hitc. There is norgrnce that the spir
it of self can counterfeit with more success than
a religions zeal. A man thinks ho Is lighting;
for Christ, and lie is fighting for his own notions.
He thinks ho is skillfully searching (ho hearts
of others, when he is only gnmfying the malig
nity of his own; and charitably supposes his
hearers destitute of all grace that he may shine
the more in his own eyes by comparison.
When ho lias performed this noble task, ho
wonders that they are not converted: ho has
given it to (hem soundly, and if they do not
tremble and confess that (Tod is in him of a
(ruth, he gives them up ns reprobates, incorrgi
hie and’lost forever. But a man Njat loves me,
if he sees mo in an error will pity vie, and en
deavor calmly to convince moot* lt,'xjnd per
suade me to forsake it. If he has great and
good news to tell me, he will not do it angrily,
and In much heat and discomposure of spirit.—
It is not, therefore, easy to conceive on «hat
fgfovpd a minister can justify a conduct which
proveejba.t ho docs not understand his errand.
The absurdity pf iKlvbnld certainly strike him,
If ho were not hlmsblf dohided^Coirpcr.
AilfcnLoo.—ln the parish,of Stathblane,
in Stirlingshire, Scotland, a singular storr is
told ’of a -Jog of. wood.- ,A|>out orib jfuudrcd
yijaririig&yfft'hi .tfemembortsHto hartf acyVcd ns a*
prop to the end of a bench, in a school-house,
near the church. It was afterwards used by
children, who amused themselves with carrying
it to the top of on acclivity, whence it rolled to
the bottom. It afterwards lay years on
the wall of a chursll-yard. At last if was ap
propriated by an old woman, a pauper, who
lived in a hut by herself. For about twelve 1
vears she used it as a scat. After her death. 1
one of her neighbors was employed to wash the )
clothes that were found in her house: fuel being ,
scarce it was laid on the lire to beat water fur j
the operation. Not igniting quickly, the wash
erwoman look It oft the fire, and proceeded to
cleave it with a hatchet, when lo ! at the first I
stroke it burst asunder, and the floor was eov- j
err’d with money, coin? consisted of crowns. J
half crowns, and shillings, of Queen Elizabeth, j
James the First of England, and Charles the
First: a few gold coins were also found.
Vi loahity.— Wo would guftnl the young
against the use of every word that is not per
fectly proper. Cse no profane expression—al
lude to no sentence that would put to the blush
the most sensitive. Von know not the tendency
of habitually using indecent and profane lan
guage. It may never be obliterated from your
hearts. When you grow up you will find at
vour tongue’s end some expressions which you
would not use for any money. U was one you
leared when quite young. By being careful,
you will save yourself a great deal of trouble,
mortification and sorrow. Good men have been
token sick and become delirious. In these mo
ments they have used the most vile and inde
cent language imaginable. When informed of
it, after a restoration of .health, they had no
idea of the pain they had given their friends,
and stated they had learned and repeated these .
expressions In childhood, and though years had )
passed since they had spoken a bad,word, the
early impressions had been indellibly srtnfipcd
upon the heart. Think of this, ye who are
1 tempted to use improper language, and never
1 disgrace yourself.
philosophic and self-possessed ship
captain was passing through a church-yard at
midnight, when a sheeted ghost rose up behind
a tombstone, and approached him with menac
ing gestures. The ancient mariner coolly raised
his slick and gave him a over tho head,
asking him “What ho meant by being out of his
grave at so lato an hour ?” I
A Qua.vdaut. —To sit on a sofa between two
pretty girls, ono with black eyes, jet ringlets,
and rosy checks—tho other with soft blue eyes,
sunny ringlets, and red cheeks and lips, and
both laughing at the same time. Wo know of
nothing more trying to one's nerves, unless it
be to have both hands in the dough and a flea
up tho leg of our trousers.
Tub First Quaker Pun.—Not long since a
‘Friend,* who rejoiced In tho name of Comfort,
paid his devoirs to 0 young and attractive Qua
ker widow named Rachel ll.—Either her grieia
wore toe now, or her lover too old, or (rom
some other cause, his oflbr was declined.
Whereupon a Quaker IVlond remarked that was
tho first modern Instance ho had known where
•Rachel refused to bo comforted.’ The anec
dote is remarkable os being tho first Quaker pun
on record.
ny “Mrs. Jones,” said a gentleman ono day
last, summer, when railroad accidents wore so
numerous, too lady whoso husband was a brakes
mau. “Mrs. Jones, do you not fool worried
about Mr. Jones while be is on tho cars In view
of the many accidents that are now dally occur
ring?’* “No, not at all,** replied tho conton-,
led lady i “for If ho Is killed, *l know I shall bo'
paid for it, because Mr. Williams got forty dol
lars for his cow that was run over by tho cars a
few days since.** •
[£?* Brandy applications aro recommended
by a Western paper for baldness, continued ex
ternally until the hair is well started, and af
terwards in generous quantities internally, to
1 clinch the roots!
AT $2,00 TER ANNUM.
NO, 5.
The Tnnkee in Hell.
Burton tells a capital story of ‘Tho Yan
keo in the Infernal Regions.’ Ills description
of some of the characters he found “down be
low,” is laughable In the extreme. Nebuchad
nezzar, the king of the Jews, he describes good
nt “all fours,” and particularly expert in the
preparation of “salad.” The introduction of
(ho Yankee to his infbrnal mqjesty i» peculiar.
‘‘How d’yo dew, folks,” said the stranger,
pulling away nt a long sogar ; “is the boss devil
at hum 7”
His majesty looked sulphur and saltpetre at
the intruder.
(‘Reptile f” he exclaimed in a voice of thun
der, that rumbled and reverberated in the depths
of a pit without bottom, “who are you that dare
intrude upon our sacred privacy 7”
“Whew,” said the stranger, “don't (oar your
shirt! why what on earth is the use of goin’ off
half cock in that way 5 Why do you jump for
afore you’re spirred ! (here aint such an almigh
ty occasion for you to get your dander so awfhl
I m, jist as if you was gain* to burst your biler.
1 Seem’ that your climate’s rather of the warmest,
! it would only be doin’ the civil tiling if you jist
j said, “Mister, too the mark, and take your
1 hitlers-”
“Worm, hence to your appointed place In the
yawning gulf ! (here, in the hottest flame—”
“Wall, I guess not ! M drawled out the man,
with impurtnrahle calmness. “I’vegot my tick
et, Mister, from the regular agent, and 1 don’t
choose a berth so nigh the injino!”
Ixw’Strt Kssrntiai.. — If you arc not pos
sessed of brilliant talents. 3-011 can at least he
industrious ; and this, with perseverance, will
compensate for the want of intellectual gifts.—
The history of almost every really eminent man.
no matter in what pursuit lie has signalized
himself and served mankind, abounds with
proofs that In industry, full as much as to go
: nius, have all really great human achievements
1 "been attributable. (treatscholars, for instance.
| have not been merely laborious, but they have
studied both methodically and regularly, they
I have had for every portion of the day its proper
ami allotted study, and in no wise woulu they
: allow any one portion of time to he encroached
1 on by the study to which another portion was
I especially devoted in their fixed plan of action.
flow to Chouse a Wife. —wficn ft young
woman behaves to her parent s in ft manner par
ticularly tender and respectful, from principle
as well os nature, there is nothing good and
gentle that may not bp expected from her, in
whatever condition she may be placed. Were !
1 to advise a friend as to his choice of a wife,
my council would l«i, “look out for one distin
guished for her attention and sweetness to her
parents,” The (Uri<i,.of worth find affection in
dicated by such behavior, joined to-thc habits
of Jlity and consideration thereby contracted,
being transferred to the married slafo, will not
fail to render her a mild and obliging compan
ion.
Anecdote op (iinnoN,—Uno of the drollest
occurrences in the annuls of gallantry is related 1
of Gibbon, the historian, who was short in stat
ure, and very fat.' One day being with the
beautiful Madame dO- Crouzaa, he dropped on |
his knees before her and made a declaration of
his lovo in tbo most passionate tonus. Tho as
tonished lady rejected his sml,rtnd requested
him to rise. “Itiso, Gibbon, J beseech yon
rise.” Mr, Gibbon still “Jiff.
Gibbon, will you;imvoUie go£dgc t up ?
1 cannot,” • Ho was fo'dTotto . rcgairr*ma' foot
Without assistance, Madainq dc Crouzaa rang
(ho boli, and said to bor servant “Lift up Mr. I
Gibbon.*? ■ . . j \
Sour Primers—The November number of
Ilnrper’s Magazine has a scene between a fresh
caught cockney and a New York Market wom
an, which is the heat Punchiana for six months.
The " oman is standing » ill) her hands under her
apron, by a pile ol huge pumpkins, and looks ns
saucy as only a New Vork market woman can
look. The cockney is poking the biggest pump
kin witli his rattan.
(’ockncy.—“l ’opc you don’t call them large
happtes ; they ain’t half as large as we have them
in Hold llenglAud.”
Market woman.—“Apples' Them ain't ap
ples. Them is only huckleberries.”
No Me vns ok Srri’oiiT. — Miss Man Killiwee
i was called up, and informed by the Recorder
that an ntlldavit had been made against her. in
which aho is charged with having “no visible
moans of nupport.” “No rmMe means of sup
port !” echoed Mary, and thereupon she drew
up her nolhor garments, so ns to expose a woll
developed limb, and triumplumjty exclaimed,
“Don’t you call that a visible urtfans ol support,
Mr. Recorder/” Wo need scarcely add that the
Recorder blushed, ami summarily sent Mary to
the work-house for thirty days.—A’. O. Delta.
man wishes to bo graceful, he must
begin his practice before his bones and habits
are formed. Learning to dance after thirty has
only one thing more difficult, and that is to
forego a pipe after you arc sixty.
Shave on Resiun. —The’clerks of the Bank
of England, following the universal example,
lately began to embellish their lips with hirsute
ornaments, but the directors soon pul a - slop to
I the fashion, and ordered them to •‘shave or re-
I sign.” It is said they preferred to shave.
| Distinctions. —A Trench Abbe trnvellincin
! a stage was asked bv a young clerk, a would
be wit and atheist, if he knew what difference
there was between a priest and on ass, and upon
being answered in the negative, said that the j
priest can icd the cross on |ris breast, and the j
ass on his back. After the laughter had sub
sided, the Abbe asked if the clerk knew the dif
ference between ft clerk and an ass. *
•No,’ was the reply.
•Nor I,’rejoined the Abbe-
Toyrntwo Proofs or Regard.—l have a re
gard said Tltmarsh, for ovory man on hoard that
ship, from iho captain down to the crew—down
ovon to tho cook, with fattoed arms, sweating
among tho saucepans in (ho galley, who used
(with the most touching affection) to tend uj locks
of his hair in the soup-
[l7* Mr. Mollo'vfly on being osked tho other
day by a yonng beggar, who wasn’t so bad to
look at, for alms, mistook tho sense of tho word
and gave the girl a one-horse embrace. If there
is one weakness more than another in Mollowfly's
nature, it is to mistake a pretty iMiss.
To molt a lady right into a boquet, just praise
her feet, her bands, chest, her eyes and her hair.
She Is as fluent as rectified spirits and ns smooth
ns tho oil of roses about that time. For melting
calico, you must touch her weaknesses with a
finger of praise.
[O 5 * At a social party, one evening, tho ques
tion was put, ‘What is religion V ‘Religion,’
replied ono of the party, ‘ religion is an insur
ance against lire in tho next world, for which
honesty is tho best po/t'ey.’
A Glorious Uelio.— Tho Syracuse Journal
says that a banner which was stretched across
Sallnn Btroot, fVom tho Corinthian Hall, during
tho sitting of tho Old Soldiers in Convention,
was the same used as the fjeld flag ot the battles
of Plattsburgh and Sackotts’ Harbor. The gal
lant Colonel Pike was wrapped in Its folds alter
be was mortally wounded at Little York, »
was his winding sheet. Tho blood-stalns of nls
wounds are still to be seen upon It.
MnmttkSf
"Cot Loose Again, Mister.~j4frie&& of
ours, who is a most tfeebinplished salesman, and
who is kept ray Busy mono of the up-town dry
goods houses, was complimehted, nOt/ong since,
in manner and form as follows, to wit: ,
He had a countryman in tho store, fcnfl was
showing him a very hhndsoino pi6ce' of ladies* . ;
dress goods, not with any great hope of selUngT:‘
it; still, there was some slight chance, and no*;
sides, it is necessary—so otlr friend avers—l6’
keen constantly in practice. ;
So he dashed ahead in finfestylo, praised th 6
richness of the pattern, extolled the texture of
the fabric, held it up to a faVorablOlight, avouch
ed for its ultra fashionablcncss; and, in .short;
let Ijjpso a torrent of eloquence, in Which it trad
difficult to distinguish which was more flatter
ed, the taste of the admiring rustic or thoqual
ity of the magnificent mottssclinc* Butdlcin’d
eye flashed with gratified pride at the compli
mentary allusions to himself, and unconcealed
astonishment at the development of beauty ifl
the goods, and fluency irithesilcsrh&h.-
Catching our friend by tho arm, ho. (de
claimed, ‘Slop right here one minutO.S’ anti
dashed out of the store with two.or three rapid .
bounds. Grosdcnap stood,,a little,’bothered,
holding the bolt of goods across Bands,
just ns though ho had ‘frozen’ in the attitude
in whicli ho bad so thoroughly impressed the
rural gentleman. Meantime this last mention
ed individual whisked two bouncing girls out
of a carryall which stood in front of the store;
and half pulling, half pushing them, brought a
them up in front of him of the fluent ttmgfie': ,
‘Gals! stand there—right there,
now, Mister, cut loose again 1 /just leant the
gals to hear you!*
It is almost needless to say, in view of thtf
peculiarity of the circumstances, that our friend
was utterly overwhelmed with his emotions,
and for once in his life failed in his utterance —
to tho great disappointment of tho father and
both daughters.— Montgomery {Ala.) Mail.-
“Go it, Ou» Sorrel!" —“ln my boyhood
days,” said tho narrator, ‘I used to reside with
an old aunt, in tho country, who was ’ strictly ..
pious, went to church regularly, and made hid
also’follow the same Christian practice. Among
those who attended tho church regularjyi wasa
man known among all tho villagers by tho ftp*
nellalion of ‘Old Joe.’ Old Joo, m addition ; to'.
being ft strict chnrch-goerand devout Christian,'
flic passed for the latter,) was something of ft
sporting character—dclightod in frequently in
dulging in horse-racing. His Toronto, nag ho
calk'd ‘old Sorrel,’and ho would at any limo
put up bis ‘pile’ on *o!d Sorrel,’ against any
other animated horse-flesh in tho neighborhood. •
Well, as I said before. Old Joe attended church
frequently, and occasionally, like many others,
used to indulge in a ‘nap* during the sermon.—
While thus luxuriating one Sunday—the divine
putting in the big licks —spreading himself.as
tonishingly—and just at the moment tho latter
was indulging in one of his loftiest flights, Old
.100, doubtless dreaming that he was on tho
track, and participating in an animated raco*
sung out, in a loud voice—‘Go it, old Sorretl
Go it, bid Sorrel!' Jt is needless to say that
Joe’s unconcious exclamation brought the house
down. Sober countenances, that had never in
dulge! in a smile, were distorted with laughter;
1 old women ‘snickered,’and young girls, with
i cambrics up to their pretty faces, indulged in sup
pressed giggle?. What added a zest to the inci
dent, was the fact that the minister bad if most
brilliant voryiillion-tintcd bead of hair. ‘Old
.Sorrel,’wasn’t bod, and tho crowd took" tho
force of it.”— N. Y. Mon. Mag, .
A Fowl Question. —At the close of a lecture
on physiology before the evening schools a few
nignts since, the lecturer remarked that any
one was at liberty to ask questions upon Hu*-' _
subject—and that he would
los he was able. A young lady with much ap-
I parent sincerity, remarked that she had aqtfcs
lllon to ask, though she was not certain that it
1 was a proper question; she would, however,
venture to use it. It was as follows;
.‘lf oho hon lays an egg and another sets on
itaud hatches out ft chicken, which’ ha* is the
imOthcr of tho chicken ? * .
. The lecturer said, ‘I;will answer you in Yan
i»e uesdon u. ~1(a li I
pretty, white, genteel, native pullet, seta on ofl
egg of Oriental extraction, ana hatches a great
homely, long-legged, splinter .shanked, Blab
sided; nwkward-gaited Shanghai, would yon,
if you were that,little white pullet, own the
homely V ' ' .
•No i wotdduVsald the young lady.
‘Very well/ said the lecturer, that settles (ho
question, for it is a principle in physiology
that all hens think and act alike, in aJU essen
tial particulars.
Tub Milkman.—Jinks, the Hastings milk
man. one morning forgot to water his milk.—
In the hall of the first customer in his round,
the sad omission flashed upon Jink’s wounded
feelings. A largo tub of fine clear water stood
on the lloor by his sido; no eyo was upon him,
and thrice did Jinks dilute hismilkwith a largo
measure filled from the tub, before, the maid
brought up her jugs. Jinks served her, and
went on. While ho was bellowing clown the
next area, his first customer’s footman beckon
ed to him from the door. Jinks returned, and
was immediately ushered into tho library.—
There sat my lord, who had just tasted tho
milk.
‘Jinks ?’ said his lordship.
'My lord !’replied Jinks.
‘Jinks,’ continued his lordship, ‘I should
fed particularly obliged if you would hence
forth bring me the milk and water separately,
ami allow me the favor of mixing them myself/
‘Well, my lord, it’s useless to deny tho thing,
for I suppose your lordship watched mo
while—”
•No/ interrupted the nobleman. ‘The fact
is, that my children bathe at home, Jinks, and
the tub in tho hall was full of sea water, Jinks. *
i Sensible to the Last. —lt has long been ob
served by medical writers, llmtdeafh is frequent
ly preceded by Insanity. This reminds us of
a case which occurred ninny years ago In A Phil
ndelphin court, where n pretty young widow
was In danger of losing two-thirds ot her bus
bind's rsMtoi his relatives grounding, thoir
claim on the alleged insanity of tho defunct.—
i It may be ns wolf to premise that tho presiding
'lodge was not only convlval but also very gal
lant.
«< IV'hnf were your husband’s last words I” in
quired tho attorney,
Tho pretty widow blushed, and looking dowit
replied, “I’d rather not toll,”
“But indeed you must ms'um. Tour claitn
may bo decided by it.”
Still blushing, tho widow declined to fell.—
At Inst n direct appeal from tho’bench elicited
the information.
“Ho said, “kiss mo Polly, and open that
other bottle of champagne."
Wo know not whether It was admiration fbr
tho deceased husband or tho living wife that In
spired tho Judge at that Instant, but ho at onco
cried with all the enthnslam of conviction, “Sen
sible to tho last.”—-JJlacksfons.
07" An Irishman having lately boon put on
trial for somo olfonco, pleaded not guilty { and
tho Jury being In, tho prosecuting attorney pro
ceeded to call Mr. Furklsson os a witness.—
With tho utmost innoconco, Patrick turned his
fhco to tho court, and said > “Do I understand,
your honor, that Furklsson Is to bo n witness
fornlstmo again ?" Tho Judge, said, dryly,
“it Booms so.” “Well thin, yonrbonor, Inlaw
guilty, not because I am guilty, for I'm ns inno
cent as yor honor's sucking babe at tho brlst{
butjlst on account of sovJngMlsthcr Furklsson**
Bowl."
Wo clip (ho following from the Boston Hof
eld as a specimen of tho excitement created by
tho‘lnto Dog law i*
Mr. Enniron op the Boston Heralds— Tha
what 1 witch two assk yo Is whoathor stricbnlno
wot the nblooco gives to (logs wont plzon tho
houman beans after tho sassongors has boon fri
ed. Pleas to put in tho paypors how this Is,
fUrlflrlod strlohnlno Isplsoa I go ag{a Basson
gors. YoursUl pltoned,
A Axttt Bor.'