PCDLIStIED BVJ3R* THURSDAY- MORNING v~ py B; Bratton. 'PERM’S: Subscription.— One pollw-and Fifty Conta, i ! bald In advance j swb.'Dollars if paid .within the year? and Two J>°lljbpb and Corits) if not p»ld,wUhintho year; Those tgrras will bo rigid- j y adhered; toincvory instance.-'No subscription dtscontliiucd.uhtil'uil arrearages are paidunless at the option of the Editor, ‘ ; jAnvEaTisEWßnrfl—Accompanied by the Cash, and not exOepdlng.bns square,will bo inserted three timea-for one Dollar, ond twenty-five cents, for eachaddilional insertion. Those of a greater length Jn proportion. ; ’ Jon-PniNTiNQ; —Such as -Iland. Bills,'Posting Bills, Pamphlets,'Blanks; Labels, fee.; Ike:oxc* bated with accuracy' and af the Shortest notice. ‘‘TBUST IN COif,' AND PEBSIiVEnE.”.,. Brother, is iifb’s morning clouded, ■ Has the sunlight coaled to shine? t: ,• Is thocarth in darkness shrouded, - , • Would’st thou at thy lot repluo? • Chaor, up, brother, let thy vifelbn ,.j Look above, see I .light is near, , Soon .will conie the next transition, . , ‘‘Trust iu God,and persevere.” Brother, has life’s hopes recoded, ’■ ■./, Hast thou sought its joj v S in.vuln.7 ■. ■ ’ Priouds proved lUls-nwbcn mostly needed, V: ’. .Foes rejoicing at thy pain.? , Cheer up, brother, there’s a blessing . . ... .Waiting for fear,; , ‘ ' • Foes forgiving,‘sins confessing. '' God, and peVscvero,” Brother,'all thing* round are calling ; With united voice, “be strong I” bf earth bo galling, They,mustlose, tlieii; strength ere long. , Yes, my brother;-though life’s troubles Drive tlu" noil; tlieo 'dark despair, . ' 'Soon’twill, vanish like a bubble, “Trust In God, and persevere.” ' He,lrani IliaTdgh throne in Heaven, . • -.Wutchos.every step you take,' . Ho will.tfao each fetter riven, Which your foes in linger make ; , Cheer.up, brother, lie has power ,lL To'flry up the bittir tear, 7: 'Aud though'darkest tempest lower, ' • “Trust in Hod, and persevere.” Brother there’s a quict slurnber Waiting for thou in the graver Brother, there’s a glorious number 1 Christ in mercy deigns to .save; Wait, thou, till llle’s, quiet even Closes, round thiee, calm and clear, And till .called from earth to heaven, “Trust in God, and persevere.” SGiCCHB OP UEim -Searcher of hearts t —from mine oraso . All thoughts that should not be, And in Its deep recesses trace ■' My gratitude to Thee;.- Hearer of pray’rl—oh, guide aright, Each word add.deed of mine 5 Life’s battle teach mo how to fight, , -And be the victory Thine. Glvcr of all (-r-for cy’ty good, In the lleddemcr canio, For raiment, shelter, and for food, I thank Thee in Hls naine. Father and Son and Holy, Ghost, Thou glorious Three in One, Thouknowost best what most I need, * • And lot Thy wllf bo done.' 3&fe«llnnrd«s. * THE COUSINS BY MISS MITVORD. Lawyer Molesworth was'a rich landlord in Crauley, the native town of Miss Mitford. Hu lud two (blighters, to whom hia pleasant house owed its chief attraction. was iv boautl ful woman, Jersey w.is a pretty girl. Tim fond father Intended that Joasoy should marry a poor relation, one Charles Woodford. Charles had been brought up by his uncle’s kindness, and had recently returned into the 1 family from a great office In London.- Charles Was to bo the immediate partner ami the eventual successor to the flourishing business of his benefactor, whoso regard seemed fully juslilioi\ by the excellent conduct and runirkablu talents of the orphan nephew. Agnes, who secretly entertained an affection for Charles, was destined by her .father for a young baronet, who had lately been much at the house. But in affaire of- love, as in all others, says Miss Milford, m in is born to disappointments.— So found poor Molesworth, who—Jcsscy having arrived at (ho age of eighteen, and Charles at (hat of (wound twenty—offtred Ids pvctly daugh ter and-the lucrative partnership to his penniless relition, and was petritled with astonishment mid Indignation to find the connection very re spectfully declined. The young man was much distressed ami agitated ami said that lie hud the highest respect for. Miss Jessoy, but could not marry her— lie loved another! And then he poured forth a confidence as unexpected as it was undcslred by. his Incensed patron, who left him in undiminisluid wrath and increased per- Thif[ntorviuw hud taken place immodlilely after brealcruitVnml when the conference ended the provoked father sought his daughters, who, happily unconscious of all (hat hud occurred, were amvfeing themselves in ihclr splendid con servatory—a scene always as becoming as It is agreeable to youth and baanty. Jessoy was flitting about like a butterfly among .the fragrant orange trees and bright geraniums. Agnes vva standing under a superb fuschld.i thathung over a largo basin —her form' and'altitude, her.white dross and the classical arrangement of her dark hair giving hcr iiloOk of some nympth or naiad, a rare relic of Groclan art. Ocssoy was pratl tiing gaily, as she wandered about, of a con oar they lud 'attended the evening before at the country town. „ , ..., <‘l halo'concerts,” said tlio pretty lltllo flirt; “to sit-bolt upright on a hard bench for four hours, between the same four people, without the possibility of moving or speaking to any body, or any body’s getting to usl Oh, how tirosorao It is)” “I saw Sir Edmund lryb~ lu slide through the crov;i iv roach you,” said Agnes, a IUUc archly, Mills presence would, perhaps, have mit igated thu evil, but tho barricade was too com plete 5 ho was forced to retreat without accom plishing his object.” .. <*¥oll, l nnavivu you he thought U, very tire some, ho told mo so when wo were coming out. And then that music,” pursued Jessy,‘tho noise they cull mtndc! Sir Edmund says that ho likes ho music except'my guitar, or a/into on thu Water, and 1 like nohu except your playing on tho organ and singing Handel on a Sunday eve nlngl or Charles "Woodford’s reading Milton and bits of Hamlet. * ■ “Do you call ; lhat nlaslc?” asked; Agues, laughing; ’ ‘And yet/ continued she, ‘lt i**, inoat truly, withhla rich, Pdata-lUco volco,&ud his lino souse of sound {• and to you, who do not greatly loyo it for Its sake, It Is doubtless,a pleasure, much resembling In kind that of. the most thril ling melodies on the noblest of instruments. 1 myself havo" swell a gratification In hearing that voice recite Ul9 verses of Homer and Sophocles in tho original Greek—Charles Woodford read ing is music.”- r, r. .. “It Is music which neither",of you are likely to hoaragaln,” Interrupted Mr. Molesworlh, ad vancing suddenly towards them j for he has been ungrateful, and I haVe diflehurgcdhlm.’-* ' •-Agnes stood as If petrified. “Ungrateful 1 oh, futhorl; i "' . • ■ “You can’t have, discharged him to bo sure, Papa/* said Jbaaoy,always" good nflturod, “poor Charles, what can ho have done 1” • “ItofUsod your hand, my child,’-’ said tho nn- Rty" parent; “refused to ho" my partner and eon ia-iaw, and fallon’ln lovo with another. lady 1 — What have you to pay to him now V* , ‘Why,veully,‘Pnpa,” said Jossey, “I’m much BY JOHN B. BRATTON. VOL 40. more obliged tb him for refusing my hand, Ilian to voil for offering U. I like Charles wolf for a cousin, but I should not.like sUclnr husband at nil; so if this refusal bo the worst that has hap pened, there’s no greathdrm done. And ofTtho glpsoy ran—declaring she must put on her hab it, for she bad promised to ride with Sir Ed mund and his sister j and expected them every minute.. : ‘ The father and the favorite daughter remained In tho conservatory. -•- • “Thb heart Is untouched, however,” said Mr. Molesworth, looking after her with a smile. “Untouched by'Obarles 'Woodford, undoubt- replied Agnc'sj ‘but boa ho really refused my sister?” ' ‘ * - ’ “Undoubtedly.” ■ ‘‘And docs he love another?’.* • - ’ “Ho.aays ho docs, and I believe him.*? ■ “Is ho loved ngoin ?” ' “That ho did not say,” 1 “Did ho toll tfyo name of tho lady ?” • “Yes.” ’ ■ ' ‘ ■ “Is she worthy of him ?” ‘ “Most worthy.” . ' • • ■ “Has ho any hope of gaining her affections ? Oil 1 ho must I ho must I What woman cobld refuse him ' “Ho is determined not ,to. try. The lady whom lib loves Is above him in every way; and as much as he has counteracted my-wlsbea, it is ah honorable part of Charles Woodford’s con duct, that ho Intends to leave her affections un suspected by his object,” ‘ Here ensued a short pahso in the dialogue, during which Agnes appeared trying to occupy herself with collecting the blossoms of h capo jessamine, ahd watering a favorite geranium} but it would not dot the subject was at her heart and she could not force her mind to indifferent occupations. She returned to her father, who had been anxiously watching her countenance, and resumed her conversation. “Father! perhaps It-is hardly maidenly to avow as much, but although you never have in sot words told mo your intentions, I have yet seen and know, I cannot tell how, ail that your kind partiality towards us has designed for yonr children. You have mistaken mo, dearest fath er, doubly mistaken mo ? fit to fill a splendid place In society j next, In imagining that I de sire such splendor.'- You meant to give Josscy and the lucrative partnership to Charles Wood ford, and designed me and your .large posses sions for yohr wealthy and titled neighbor. And with little, change of person these arrangements may yet hold good. Sir Edmund may still bo your son-in-law and-heir, for ho loves Jcssoy and Jcssey loves him. Charles Woodford may still ho your partner and adopted son, for noth ing has changed that need diminish yournffec lion or his merit. Marry him to tlio woman ho loves.- She must bo ambitious, indeed, if she bo not content with such a destiny. Ami lot roe live on with you, dear father, single and umved dod, with no-thought but to coritrlbuto to your comlort, and'to cheer and brighten your de clining years/ Do not let your too groat fond ness forme stand in the way of their happiness I Make mo not so odions tothem and myself, dear father ! Let' mo live always with you and .for you—always your own Agnesi” And blushing at the earnestness .with which she had spoken, she bent her head over the marble basin, whoso waters reflected her fair Image, as if she had re ally been the Grecian statute, to which, while ho listened, her fond father’s fancy had compar cd her. “Lot mo live single with you, and mar ry Charles to the woman ho loves.” r “Uavo you hoard the name' of the lady in question 7 Have you formed ony guess whom sho may bo?” “Not the slightest, I Imagined from what you said that she*was a stranger to mo. Have I over seen her?” _“Yoti may see her—at least you may. Bob her tcflectlon In tho water, at this very moment 5 for bo has bad the infinite presumption. Hie ad mirable good taste, to fall lu love with ids cous in Agnes.* “Father 1” “And now my own sweetest 1 Do yon still wish to live single with me ?” “6b, father! father!” “Or do you desire tbatl should marry Charles Lo the woman of Ids heart/” “Father, dear fatbcrl” “Choose, my Agnes! * It shall bo an you com mand. _ Speak freely. Do not cling around mo but speak,” Ob, my dear father! Cannot we all live to gether? .1 cannot leave you. But poor Charles —surely, father, wo may live together.” And so it was settled. And a very few months proved (hot lovo bad contrived bolter for Mr. Molosworth than he bad done for himself.' Jcs soy, with her pretmioss, and her fopperies, was the very thing to bo vain of— the very thing to visit for n day. But Agnes and the cousin whoso noble character and splendid talents so well de served her, made tho pride and happiness of hia homo. - The Admirable Crichton, James Crichton was bom in Scotland, about the year 1501. His father was Robert Crichton, of Eliock—for a time Lord Advocate to King James VI. Young Crichton received the best part of his education at St. Andrew’s, then the most celebrated Seminary in Scotland. His proficiency was marvellous, At the age of se venteen, lie appeared in franco, and, after chal lenging all the scholars and philosophers of the college of Navarre to a public disputation, to bo carried on in any one of twelve specified langua ges, In any science, liberal art, discipline, or faculty, whether practical Or theoretic, carried off. the prizo.-and received the public praises of the president and four of the most eminent pro fessors, The very next day he appeared at a lilting-match in the Louvre and took tho ring from u host of accomplished competitors. En thusiasm rose to its height, particularly among the ladies of tho Court, r.uulVom thoversitnlity of his talents, his youth, the gracefulness of his timers, and the beauty of hia person, ho was named *• L’Admirable* —whcnco followed tho title by which he has been since more familiarly known, Tho Admirable Crichton.” He jour neyed from university to university, posting his challenge on church-doors and college-pillars, encountering with miraculous success the most profound philosophers of tho day. At Mantua, lie vanquished tho most celebratcdswordsman in Italy. He was suddenly cut off, in his twen ty-third year, by an assassin. Ho was return ing one night from tho house of his mistress, playing hla guitar and singing as ho walked, (for he was an accomplished musician,! and was attacked bv several armed men in masks. One of these he'disarmed—the rest fled. Upon un masking tho captive, he saw it was tho Prince of Mantua, one of hia former pupils, who in stantly dropping on his kneo, presented his sword to Crichton and begged for life, but tho victor generously declined hia advantage. As soon as the Princo recovered his sword, ho run it through Crichton’s body. . Qv* Sheridan wrote, “Women governus'; lot us try to render theiri perfect. The more they arocnlightcncd, so nuioh tho more wo shall bo. On tho cultivation of the minds of women de pends tho wisdom of men." ■ Napoleon said, “tho future destiny of tho child is always the work of tho mother.” (C7* An old bachelor geologist was boasting that every rook was as familiar to him as the alphobot. A lady, who was present, declared she know of a rock of which ho was wholly ignorant. “Name it, madam!" cried Coelebs, inarago. “Ifia rook tho cradle, replied Uio lady. ■'Coelebs‘evaporated. 't .. ; /j JFrom the Cincinnati Commercial, A- ROMANTIC MAM. . We have iust learned of some romantic ad ventures, which took place at. Cynthinia, Ky.y ft Tew days ago.,- .It appears that a very clever, fine looking-young gcntlerhanffrom Philadel-. phia, had occasion to visit Cynthlma, on busi ness during the. past winter, and while there, became acquainted- with a young lady, Miss B , somewhat celebrated for her charms.— Mr. S— L —, the Philadelphian, was not proof against the bright eyes of tho Kentucky maiden. Hehad never seen such a glprious, liquid, spark ling pair of orbs among the daughters of the Old . Keystone. He was ravished, intoxicated, and finally proposed to the bright eyes and was accepted’. With a light heart ho started back to the Quaker City to make‘the necessary ar rangements for the celebration of his nuptials, the day for which having already been’ agreed upon.’ • The winter rolled on, and spring and its flow ers came again, as did also the particular day for the lovers return; but ho came not. In two days more the marriage was to come off The fair one was restive ond mortified. JVith her bright) eyes full of tears; sho denounced the faithfulness of‘her lover, and trembled at the open mortification which would overwhelm her if hccamenot. At this favorable juncture an old and discarded lover, whom no unklndncns could divest of hope or lessen the fervency of his first affection, presented himself.. Tic renew* cd his suit. Ho spoke of his undying lovo; the holy happiness of the wedded state; of a cot tagcsomcwherciuthe deep bosom of unbragoons grove, with the honcy-suckloand the .fasamino creeping over the windows and along the lattic ed porch. Tho trembling fair onewas channcd at the picture. Love in a cottage—the quint essence of human-bliss .in the estimation of a girl of “sweet sixteen.” Sheblushcd and smil ed, hut yet hesitated. The lover was in exsta cies at the favorable symptoms. With renewed nrdorbe urged his suit. He was prolific in tears and promises, and trimmed the cottage with a few more honcy-sucklcs, and the thing was done. The Philadelphia gallant was given up. He was a “laggard in love,” and deserved no considera tion. Her faith was pledged to nnothei 4 , and the same day fixed for the marriage which was to have witnessed her union with Mr, S . But the end was not yet. During the same day a third lover presentcd himsllfand declar ed his passion. The fair maiden frankly told him she had just engaged herself to another, and invited him to the wedding as a guest, in stead of a groom. On the same evening, (Sun day) Mr, S arrived from Philadelphia.— Ho was not long in finding out how matters stood, and was aghast at the intelligence that Missß was to l>o married to another in stead of himself, oh the following Tuesday. Ho , at once took his way to her house and had an interview, with the result of which be seemed particularly well pleased. 11c then stepped in to tho principal livery stable in the place, and asked to hire the very best carriage and horses to go to Mnvsville.* The pronrictor informed him that it would be impossible to nccoimno datebirn. That he was to be married on the following Tuesday, and would have use for all his carriages to go on a’little bridal tour which he purposed. “May Task to whom.,?”sat'd Mr. S- , with some misgivings. “To Miss B was tho reply. Mr. S preserved bis temper, ond simply remarked that it was highly important ho should be at. Mavsrille at the earliest possible moment, and that be was prepared to give any reasonable nricc for a car riage. Tho liberality of this indirect offer bad a sensible effect on the proprietor. He got out irs best hack and pair, and charged the young stranger the sum of SflO for the trip. In a very short time afterwards. Miss B found herself sitting beside the young Philndclnbinn. in the above mentioned carriage, and going towards Mnvsville at the ratoof about ten miles an hour. It wnsspon noised through the town that Miss B had run away with her Philadelphia lover. Her guardian who*wns opposed* to tho match, at once mounted a fleet horse, and start ed In hot pursuit. About half-way to Mavs vllle, ho overtook tho fugitives and attempted to seize the young ladv. The young Philadelphian waived him oft. and spake in this wise: “Sir. vou can’t have her; and you must do one of thrce thlngs—you must go back and leave us to pursue our innrnov. or you must kill me. orl’ll kill you.” This talk brought gunrdy upstand ing. It was entirely unexpected. And not wishing to kill, and particularly not to bo kill ed, ho accepted the first proposition, turned tail and look tho hack track. > The lovers pur sued.their way to Mnvsville,* crossed over to Aberdeen, were married, drove bank to Cyn tbiana, and put up at the principal hotel. A crowd at once surrounded itho house and threatened vengeance on IhO’Pniladelpbian for carrying away the prettiest girl in tho town, and who was tho promised-wife of an esteemed citi zen. Tho voting man nothing daunted, placed 1 Ins wife safely in her chamber, and then came I boldly down to tho stens of the hotel and began to address tho mob. If our phonographic notes arc correct, his speech was exactly in these words: “Gentlemens you ought not to blame me for what t have done. Most of vow, would have done the same thing, had yon been in mv place. Instead of threats and reproaches, you ought to oflcr mo a complimentary supper.— Still, if you arc not satisfied, t am ready to give you satisfaction. I will fight you all, one at a tVmo, and if that don’t do. I’m ready to nnt, nil through at once, and.thcn cleanoutlhobalunco of tho town.”. This show of chivalry was 100 much for an Kentucky' audience. The sympathy of the crowd at once changed sides. They gave him three deafening cheers, and then rushed in and congratulated him with all tho heartiness of the Kentucky character. Tho landlord was order ed to bring out his best Bourbon, and plenty of it, and tho crowd with great goodwill and.sin cerity, gave and drank to tho hanny groom Hie noble sentiment—“ None but tho bravo,deserve the fair.” ’ "I Still Mvo." Lord Byron onco remarked ‘Glory consists in being shotln battle, and having ono’fl name re ported wrong la tho dead and wounded list.’ Wo woro never more strongly .reminded of tho truth of this assertion, and how little the groat are remembered after tholr death than on hearing a few days since,'the following anec dote of an Eastern farmer trying to repeat tho last words of tho ‘Godlike Webster,’ *1 still live j’ A'gontlomanromorlccd,‘Life ievory uncertain.’ Ah yes ’ replied the farmer ‘that’s true every wont* of It 5 and by the way Captain, that makes mo think of what ono of your big Massachusetts men said when ho died a spell ngo.^ ‘Who was It?’ Inquired the Captain. ‘Well, I don’t jest call his name tondudnow, but at any rate ho ."was a big; pOlltleiuner, and lived near Boston, somewhere. My newspaper said that whbn ho died, the Boston folks put his imago in tholr windows, ond had a funeral foY'a wholo day.* ■ . , ••’ " ’ ‘Perhaps it was Webster,’, suggested tho Cap- that’s" tho anmol Webster—General Webster I Strange I couldn’t think on U n jbro. But ho got ofTagood thing jeatuforo hodlod. Ho Vie up In bod and soys ho, ‘I-u.Vr nr.u) vbt 5’— LH. JlAucttmr ; ■ ■ . “oon COUNTRY—WAY IT RIGHT—-DDT RIOIIT OR WRONG, Ot'R OPCNTUy',” Carlisle; june i, issi. 'Br n. prentice. The sunsSt'iweet and iioly blush la stream, All and solemn hush Is lUco'the .aljimco of a dream j And each coding like a dove O’er scenes w ibusing spiritsdcar— Sweet Maryf.'tlftttfe hour of love, And I thou were here. Thy myriad flofrisra of every hue • Are slnklng’to.'tbelr evening rest, Each with tintdd(4i;op pfdcw Soft folded; prints sleeping breast, The birds yoh silent grove 'Aro dreaming wat the spring Is near— Sweet Mary,WiSsi6 hour of love, •And I jv.ero htyst If thou were hero. ' On yoh whito'ddu'd the night wind-furls Its djgjyy -wlng to sleep, And the stars look out like pearls Thro* IhoclcarwaVc of heaven’s blub deep; The palo mUt floats around, above, Like spirits ofa nobler ‘sphere— Sweet Mary, '(ls tfto hour of love, And I were blest if thou were hero. The pale Aijl mooß.la silent pride, , O’er yon qhr|t Woos is rising now, As lovely as WjibnrbV thy side I saw it shlnlng-cty thy brow; It lights the dew'dHnp of the grove, As hope’s brightismllo lights beauty’s star : Sweet Mary, *IU tifa hour of love, And I were blcstif thou were here. Ah! os I mftse, a stfango wild thrill Steals o’eV thdflbera of my frame— A gentle presenfcOscems to fill My heart with and light, and flame ? I feel thy spirit roiuid nie move, I know thy-soul ip hovering near— Sweet Mary, 'tis Ibil hour of love, And I were blfc,st If thou were near. •- ;.:.n Inside View of ir Boarding House. A singular place* is-a boarding bouse. A person ol’an observing turn of mind can obtain therein a better knowledge of the human charac ter than any other habitation on the face of the globo. It contains very.often individuals of ev ery temperment and peculiarity; from nn old maid of* forty.down to the sweet young Miss in pautalutts and flowing curia 5 from the dilapida ted bachelor of sixty to the' premising youth of twelve. It Is. tho scope, too, of very many cu rious incidents, whiclvoro hs varied as they are frequent. “Prlnatunl’.G,” as Ycllowplush would say; Mr. Snooks, wtyrdsan Englishman of re cent importation, complains in a mannermost dis tressing, to the landlady; that the articles which ho has been obliged to breakfast ofli viz : fritters, are not just tho-thlng.to work upon, and would wish a change made If-possible. Becistoak is his preference,.and- suggests it us tho morning diet. Sleek, who isfrlmdownEaatsomewhero, can’t stomach a bcarlyfcrcakfast, and insists up on things remaining just aejlhcy nvo. lie is perfectly satisfied, and thinks those feeling oth i erwise had belter Vnikins objects to hash; not because ..lid'ilon’t like the dish, hut thinks it would ho mMc|ridigiaelory to ids palate ’ it he knew of otnposed. He says i {hut it hears rv to a mass of .worsted stockings up. An ex cellent comparison, nay, but not at nil suggestive of appetite. "JUisa Jones can’t bear tobacco smoke, and hopes that no gentleman, as is a gentleman,will smoko .his .cigar in tho pnrloi; while Puller, who is a lover of tho weed, besides being a good fellow, thinks it a doveliah pretty how-d’ye-do if a man can't smoke where he pleases, at the same time he, of course feels tho greatest respect for Miss J. The conse quence is that Puffer and Miss J. are at logger heads for a considerable length of time. Brown is dlsatlsflcd with bis room mate, and suggests flint to make things agreeable, Tompkins had better pack up bis “dry goods’* and “put,” while the latter individual, who is something of u philosopher, can’t see any reason for such an unwarantablo proceeding, and gently hints that if Brown wishes to he olono he would do well to seek sonic other place of habitation himself. And so it goes on ; everyone complaining, and having some just cause of complaint. Sunday is a great day among thorn. They are nil at homo; the routine of tho household is somewhat varied from that of ft week day, and all revel in the anticipation of something extra for dinner. No sooner does the boll utter its first note, than a promiscuous rush Is made for tho dining table; and indeed we have, on more than one occasion, known individuals to loiter around tho eating room door, to be ready at tho first warning to occupy a good scat at tho viands offered to bo sacrificed. ’ Poor'luck to the ono who comes Jato I • Scandal, likewise, finds room for exor cise lu a boarding house, and scandal mongers are .often obliged to pay the penalty of a Ihoughtlesshabit. In short, overythlngtbat oc ‘curs to niako up this world’s miseries, »ro to bo found in a domicil of tbj? description, yot they are alway# full, no matter if they are ever so ( bad, and just so long as tho world wags. Just so long willthoro bo boarding houses, where a gen tleman and his wife, or two single gentlemen ~ cun be Sccommodatcdwith full orpartlnl board, r Terms moderate* ■ How to Iny (i Korvous filiost'. Judge Q., ol ttew Hampshire, was a very whimsical, nervous, null irritable old man; nil who attended his courts must wear slippers, tread softly* and ho particularly careful how they closed the defers. One day the judge fell sick, and was nigh mi‘o death ; indeed, it was reported,and the belief was general, that he was chad. Ilia immediate neighbors, of course, soon discovered that it was a mistake ; but as the judge was not popular, the news of Ida recov ery did nut travel as fast an had the rumor of his death. A gentleman from a distant part of the country was walking the street s of (ho shire town, several weeks afterwards, with a friend, when lohis astonishment they chanced to meet the tall spare figure of the nervous magistrate. "Why,” saldho to hlscompanion, "llliopght the judge was diml!” "Well, he did die,” was the reply, “and was buried, too, for I attended the funeral. But af ter ho had been ipuler the ground three weeks, some one was thoughtless enough_ to pass through the grave-yard with squeaking bools, and up rams aid'd I ‘Tho next (iffiohc sunder ground, his friends intend to have the grave-yard carpeted.” \CP God intended nil women to be beautiful, ns much an ho did morning-glories and roses ; ami what Ho intended they should become they would, if, they would obey Uis law’s, and cut indolence and corset strings, and indulge in free dom and fresh air. For a girl to expect to bo handsome, with the action of her lungs depen dant on the expansive nature of a cent s worth of tnpoi is as ausurd ns to look for tulips m a Snow batik,* or a full grown oak in a flower-pot. (£7* Prosperity is apt to ruin come folks.— The more sunshine ;thcy have, tho deeper they, get into clouds. Sprouts was a clover, sensible enough fellow, Ittl his old. uncle. Zephemali Flam, stepped out and left lura §25,000. Ever Bhioo thattimo, Sprouts has acted more like a mndmnndhan any thing else. Miss Jigs, joo, was a gem, till Smith left her a heap of gold— Now she’s a sort of a cross between a squash, a flat, and tho fag end of ft conference meeting. Forkcepiugfolksm tune and ploco, and mak ing them feel like Christiana, tkcrc’s nothing like’ uttering free of prosperity. . ■ . A jjji A Scene from Beal life—Woman's Lore. TJic Baffled Lawyer. | We saw last evening 'an apt illustration of the At the last.si tting of the Cork .Assizes, a case afibetionof woman. A poor, inebriated wretch was brought,before the Court in which the lin the afternoon baa been taken to the calaboose. , • • n 1 a * His conduct on the street, and after ho was put P r, f‘P al ™ lnes3 f° r thc "•as « l in the cell, was of such a violent character‘that ' vcU known in the surrounding country by tbc it became necessary to handculThim. Thedc- sobriquetof “Crazy Pat.” mon of rum had possession of his soul, and he Upon “Crazy Pat” being called upon, for his gave vent to his ravings in curses so profane as evidence* tho attorney for 1 the prosecution ex to shock the senses of his fellow prisoners, one tried to the utmost critent his knowledge of le of whom, in the same cell, at his own soltcitn- gal chicanery, in the endeavor to force the wit tion, was placed m a separate apartment. A ness into some slight inconsistency, upon which woman appeared at the grating, and in her he might build.a “point,” buthewas excessive hands she had a rude tray, upon which was ly annoyed to find that Crazy Pat’s evidence placed some slices of bread, fresh from the hearth was consistent throughout. stone, and other little delicacies for her erring Perceiving, that acute questioning failed to husband. She stood at the lnten- answer Ids purpose, the disciple of Coke and ly into the thick gloom where her manacled Blackstonc betook himself to that oftentimes companion wildly raved. Her voice was low successful resource of lawyers—ridicule, and soft, and as she called his name, its utter- , “What did you say your name was IV ho in ance was as. plaintive as the melody of a fond quired tlippnnlly. aud crushed spirit. “Folks call me Crazy Pat, but ” Ihe tears streamed from her eyes, and there, “Crazy Pat, eh ? A very euphonious title, m thodark prison house, the abode of the most quite romantic, eh 1” wretched and depraved, the tones of her voice ijßoWtic or not, sur, it wudn’t be a bod found their way into that wjeked man's heart, idea if the Parliament wud give it to yourself, and he knelt in sorrow and in silence before his an* lave me to chusc another.” young and injured wife, while his heart found , This caused a slight laugh in the court-room relief in tears such only as man can weep.— and the presiding judge peeped over his spccta ihough the iron still bound his wrists, heplao- cles at the attorney, as much as to sav, “Vou ed hiai bauds, with (heir heavy insignia of deg- have your match now.” radation. confidingly and affectionately upon “And what did you say your trade was” the brow of his fair companion, and exclaimed,. continued the disconcerted barrister, with an “ Katy, I Mill bo a better* man.” There upon angry look at the witness. a rude seat she had spread the humble meal ‘l’m a tanner, sur.” M’hich she had prepared with her own hands, “A tanner, ch! And how long do you think and after lie bad finished, she rose to depart, it would lake you to tan an ox-hide 1” bidding him be calm and resigned for her sake, “Well, sur, since it sanies to be very impor- Mitb the assurance that she M’ould bring a friend tant furyc to know, it’s myself that’ll jist tell to go om his bond, and that she would return ye—that’s inlirely own’ to circumstances, in and takehim homo. And she left him. a strong tirely.” man, with his head drooping upon his breast, “Did you ever tan the hide of an asal” -ii'Med before the weak nn.i "* ft very coward humiliated beFore" the weak ami “An ass? No sur, but if you’ll just step tender being, whose presence and affection had down the lane, afdier the Coort, bo labors I’ll stilled the angry passions of In’s soul. True to give ye physical demonstration that I cud tan the Instincts of her love and promise, she did the hide of an ass in the shortest end of three return with one who went on his bond for hia minutes. 1 * appearance next morning, and with his hand The unexpected reply of the witness brought clasped in that of his loving wife, she led him forth roarsof laughter, in which theCcnch'hcar nway n penitent, nnd we trust, a better man. lily joined? whilst ihebnfiledatojuey, blush* There were those who laughed, as that pale, ing to the eyes, hastily informed ‘'Crazy I’at” meek woman bore oil her erring husband, but that he was no longer required. she heeded them not, and her self-sacrificing cared for nothing in its holy and heaven-bom instincts, but to preserve nnd pro tect him whom she loved with all the devotion of a wife and woman— St. Louis Republican. The Kisses 0/ Girls. Hardly any two females kiss alike. There is as much variety in the manner of doing it as in the faces and manners of the sex. Some deli calc little creatures merely giro a slight brush of the lip. This is a sad aggravation. Wc seem to be about to “ have a good lime of .it,” but actually get nothing. Others go into us like a hungry.man to a beef steak, and seem’ to chew up our countenances. This is disgusting, and soon drives away a delicate lover. Others struggle like hens when burying themselves in the dry dirt. The-kiss is won by great exer tions, and is not worth so trouble it coats. Now, wc oreJn, favor of a certain shy ness wheh irtciss'is -proposed, bufit should hot bo continued too long; and whon 'lho fnir one “gives jn,”ict the kiss be administered with warmth and energy. Let-there be a soul in it. If she close her eyes and sigh immediately after it, the effect is greater. She should be careful not to “slobber” a kiss, but givp it as a hum ming bird runs his bill into a honeysuckle, deep, but delicately. /There is much value iu a kiss, when well delivered. Wc have had the memory of one wc received in our youth last us forty years; and we believe it will be the last thing we shall think of when wc die. Carpets Versus Blankets. There is a town up in New Hampshire where so little Is known of the appliances of modern days, that throughout the village, until the de but of Rev. , who had just moved in from Massachusetts, there was not a carpet ed room, Of this the minister was not aware, or perhaps he would have hesitated at the idea of indulging in such unwonted article of luxury. One day a young farmer, having occasion to visit the minister, was shown by the minister’s daughter into the “best room.” When the minister camodown to sec him, he found him sitting in a chair on the door sill with his legs extending out into the entry. Amazed and somewhat puzzled by this unex pected sight, Mr, M. asked him why he didn’t go into the parlor. “0,” said he, “J teas.afearcd of spilin' yoitr blanket by trendin' or, it." His amazement may bo imagined, that the “blanket” was apcrmanentilxlure of tberoftn, omLwos kept fur tbc very purpose of being trodden on. This anecdote, which may appear a little dike exaggeration, is, the reader may be assured, perfectly true. A Good Onr.—Judge W — : —, who had been for many years a worthy occupant of the fede ral bench in Michigan, fell into conversation a few days since in a barber-shop with a plain, substantial looking, and rather aged stranger, from the neighborhood of Tccumseh. The Judge being formerly well acquainted in that vicinity, took occasion to ask after certain of Us citizens. “ You know Mr. B— do you ?” said tho Judge. " Very well,” was the reply. 41 Ho is well, is ho?” . ” Quite well,” was the answer., Judge W then remarked, "Mr. B is a very duo man.” "Y-o-s, ” said the old farmer rather cautious* ly, "a fine man for ft lawyer —you know we don’t expect a great deal of them / ” A Fair'Hit. —Wb copy tho following from the Commonwealth •’ "An exchange paper publishes a story in which it is stated that a man who came very near drowning, had u wonderful recollection of every event, Which hud occurred in his life.— There are a few of our subscribers whom wo would recommend to practice bathing in deep water)” ’■ - ’" . C 7“ Whcn’ft young lad}' arrives at tho age of seventeen and long dresses, she begins to look after ft partner, as naturally as April takes to showers, mud and cast winds. If there is one invention more than another that cannot get along without a visit to tho parson, it is a young female just out of pantalets and in the lirst edge oflove and long skirts. ' * CIIAKLKS MaTJJEWS AND MUNPlitf—MfttllOWS was always sprucely dressed, and fond ol a handsome umbrella. Mvmden was miserly in his habits. Ifo was generally meanly dressed, and. carried an old cotton parachute. After Munden had left tho stage, Mathews met him one day in Oovent Garden. . MAh, Munden,” said Mathowh, “I beg you’ll lot mo have something of yours for ; a remem brance.” . • ‘ Certainly, mV bor, ” replied Munden“we'll exchange umbrellas.’ Mathews was So taken by storm that Mun den walked off with a new umbi*ellA.-r-4nec dotcs'of Mtorf* \ ' '' at 52,00 per Annum. NO. 51. Pat anil llis Oysters. Pat, who had just been transplanted, had been sent by his master to purchase a bushel of oys tors, at the quayl. but was absent so long that apprehensions were entertained for his safety;— lie returned at last, however, pufliing under his load iu the musical style. “Where have.you been ?'* exclaimed Ids mas ter. “Where have I been? why, where should I be but to fetch the oysters." “And what in the name of Si-Patrick kept you so long?" “liOng! by iny sowl.l think I have been pretty quick, considering all things." “Considering what things." “Considering what things? why consider ing the gutting of the.iish,' tolbcffime."* “Gutting, what-fish?" ' .... / * *Whatliih?Avliy, “Wiat dayoamcan;". V.; *— • “What do I ineahl/udtrlin.cftblhUljisTuTia resting down fornc.it the Pickled Hearing, hav ing a dhrop to comfort me, a jiatieman axed me what I’d got in my sack.” •■Oysters, said I." . “Let’s look at’em," says he, and lie opens the bag. “Och! thunder and praties," says he, “who sold you these." “It was Mick Carney," says I, ’abord the Poll doodle smack." “Mick Carney, the thief of the world-r-what a blackguard he must be to give them to you without gutting.” “Ain’t they gutted.” says I. “Devil a one,” says he. “Musha then,” say-* T, “what’ll I do?”. “ Do !” says he. “I’d sooner do it myself than see you so abused.” And so he takes - ’em' in doors, and guts them nato and clean, ns you’ll, sec : opening at the same time, his bag of oys ter shells that were as empty as the head that bore them to the house. A Mbuitep Kbupke. —A lady took umbrage at the use, by a gentleman, of a very common word, of which the primary and most obvious sense was unobjectionable, while its niost ro* molo and unusual eignilication was indelicate. ’“I beg pardon,”, said the offender, apologeti cally, “I certainly did hot mean what yot( were thinking of’—a retort which was as phi losophical as it was just and severe. TViiat is Virtuh?—A student put this ques tion to the late Dr. Archibald Alexander. Ilis simple and admirable reply was: “Virtue con sists in doing, our duty, in the several relations that wo sustain, in respect to ourselves, to our Cullowmen, ond to God, as known from reason, conscience, and revelation.” [D*Somc days ago, a 'gentleman, visiting a jail in Cincinnati, heard one of the female con victs sinpingwilh gaiety andspint. “Ah! my canary bird I” said he, looking through the bars of her cell. “ Your canary,” klio replied ; “ I wish you would hang the cage where I could gel a little aunjh.nfl. l ” ’ [C?* Two. Irishmen were in prison—one for stealing n cow, the other for stealing a' watch. “Mike.” said tho cow stealer, one day, Mwhat o’clock is it?’ 1 ’ " . , ' •. “Och, Pat,, I haven t njy watch handy—but I suppose it is about milking time.’*. • Pat felt cow’d. Sonic contemporary accounts attributed Ins ' 1 death to an accidental midnight brawl—others to a premeditated plan of assassination ; but nil seem to agree that ho fell by tho hand of the Prince, and a belief, or popular tradition in It aly was, that the calamities which befell the house of Gonzngo shortly after, were judgments of the Almighty for that foul murder Friend Gruel*, UsoomßjhadaverygOodhorflo and n very poor ono. When seen ridingthe lat? tor, lie was naked tho reason, (It turned,out that his hotter half had taken Iho good one.)— “What,” said tho bantering bachelor, “how comes It you lot yonrwifi* rhlo tho Hotter horeo V* Tho only reply was, “Friend, when thee beest married thco’ll know.” o*lt is said that we aro born, live* and die in a hurry, and most true is it, thafrall the tes tamentary dispositions of hard-earned wealth are executed in tho lust agony. When a man comes to dio, instead of being ablo.to turn liTs face to tho wall;in peace with himself aud tho world, his thoughts given to his .Creator, ho is tormented with wills, and codicils, and lawyers, and terrestrial arrangements, .where all should have been not of tho earthly, blit celestial. {Cs* There are two things that servant girls will do-—break crockery and quarrel. If they have a bad mistress, they will quarrel about that butter.’* which fiho allows lor breakfast, if they havo'a good ono, they will not quarrel with their mistress, but with ono another, hot about "that butter,” but about that: interest. ing yowog.mnn who comes from Jdr. Suet owitn them vew cutlets. ... . rulmTsonm^ • P27* Learn, to livo-ahd live 027* He lW &dc, Makes’ soup inbasket.. . ~...,, ■- r .' . j 027" Scolding is the pepper of matrimony, and D27T The ing to go up his Master’s chirabeyv *■' * v 027*'No reproof or denuncmtion.is ao pqtent as the silent influence of'a good sample. “ 027*-The more a man accomplishes, the more he may; An activo.tool nfever grows nisty. 027” Charity, says the bid’ Wage, begins at home. True, butlt"sh6iddfnot tocf Ifier&'rr D27* Those who bavb had the most forgiven them should be the least addictcd to slander^ C27*. The sea is ‘the largest of and,its slumberers sleep without;aMbmupouJ. ■ 027* Govern tliy life and thoughts,' aa if tfib whole world were' to : see'the ouc and re&d tKo other. ’ •' ■ • i - t - * . 027* A firm faith is the best divinity; a good hfc is the best philosophy; a clear conscience the best law;' honesty the best physic. '' • D27Tf most married women possessed asmucb prudence as they do vanity, weshduldfllni many husbands much happier.— Belknap. .027* A spiritualist says if all mankind should wink at once, the muscular effort would boaqf ficient to jcstle the earth out of its orbit.' " 027' There are two cures for extra vagant wife and sixpence worth of arsenic.-—- The former, however; is the most certain. ", .■><-• ; 027* An advertisement in d newspaper-Is' Hire a circle in the water—continually’ spreading it self. Throw in your‘ipeka 1 and try it.. j 327" Beauty is a ,great gift of Heavcn-r-hot for the purpose of female vanitybut a great gift for one who loves and wishes to bo loved.'"' 027* A thief who lately broke open a grocer’s warehouse,excused himself omthe ground .that he merdy went.there to take tea . , ■■■■.', Exactlv.Sq.—Franklin says. 44 a poor man must work to find meat for his stomach; a rich one, to find a stomach' for his meat.”". Gas.— lt is said that the:man who first in troduce! gas to the, public, was disposed to • make light*,of the’aMiri ■ Cono.vdiicm.—Why is the wealth oftho In? dies all imaginary? Because the term wealth there is applied to a lack of rupees 1• •' Modesty.—There Is a young gcntl&n&if in one of the large cities so very modest ,that h? : - will not embrace an opportunity/ " '■ 2 027* Married life sometimes begins.witMrbso; wood, and ends with,pine. Think of this, young folks, before you furnish ‘your -parlors.' ; ' • Truth.—There is hothing'llke.wlslung fe^ / enough when you are wishing, and there is nothing like bluftiing boldly, when itiaucces* eary to bluff at all.' ... - 2 . ■ IT7“ A lazy genius . being 'asked, as he lay sunning himsdl’.on the : jji‘aS3,j\yhatr was the height of his ambition, replied;., marry a rich widow thatVgot'a^cough7* /f-- , ’ . 2 327* Happiness' is a" butterfly, which; when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will ait ‘down quietly; may 1 alight upon you. ■ jO* A genius'has invented'a spy glass ,6f wonderful power. Uo said ho looked through it at a third cousin, and it, brought hhnrcla* Hvcly ai^oChfc..ln > • speaking .pT^hO: rapid manner in which ov/I. deeds aro .perpetrated, j?-aid tijat-it only rqquix'cd- two Seconds to fight a dudl, • s . ’ ' ", ‘ K7~ A man :with small intellect and largo self-esteem, is a bore "to society; while he with largo intellect and small self-esteem, is fcarAtl of becoming one. • * ‘ '■'• Dipby, will you have sonic of this liuf* ter ?” “ Tlxank you, nmrin ; I belong to the temperance society, and can’t tike any thing strong.” - „ There is a man in Hull whoso voice is so hunky. that, ho is always-suspected of being cornea. ' The other day he was thrashed to make him t/icll out. - - KT* Speaking of the- “times that tried men’s soles, * m New l Orleans has worn out four pair of boots in trying to collcctcnough of money to pay for them. V A Fact.—A- man is more faithful to' the sis crot of another than tp his o\vn j- a woman, on the contrary, preserves, her own secret better than that of another.' DD’ A loving heart encloses within itself an unnidlngami eternal Eden. Hope is likq.qbad clock; forever striking the hour of ImppinCSSj whether it has come or not. ID* Education ds. incompatible with self-in* dulgcnce, and the impulse of vanity is too often mistaken for the impulse of nature; when Miss is a wit, I am apt to suspcct.her mother is'not ovcrwisc. ; ID* An elderly lady being naked bow it Hap pened that she remained single, replied by say ing, that tilic never knew' thu man yet. that she would consent to cook three'meats a day for during lifol * • . ‘ i ' A little girl inquired of her friend who mdjassed her eighth'year—“lVhat causes the rain.r' To which the following bcautiftjl reply was given; *• The drops ,of. ram, aro tho tears shed by angels oreftme sins pf tho world." •, (C7*Mamngc between persons of thesgmopge is on institution of God. Marriage between pn old man and a young woman is an institution of man. Marriage between (mold woman*and a young man is an institution 6f the devil.' .• ■ < OCT' “ IVJiy did you not pocket some of those pears?" said one boy to another; “nobody was there to We.” “Yes there waa—l was Uifire to see myself/ and 1 don’t ever mean to see thyself do a mean thing.”. A Trim Answer. —A college student being examined.in Locke, where he speaks of bur re* lationa to the Dotty, was asked, ‘What relation do we most neglect?’ He answered with ; much naivete, -‘Apoor rclntionvair;*’ . . * Py" Cabbage, says the Edinburgh 'Review, contains more muEcle suglaining tniirihicntUiari. any .oilier, vegetable whatever.-; :Boilcd'cabbago and -inalcc llfty-two as good dinners in d twelvemonth, its d man cap cati,'' ■KIT I’All-a 1 ’ All-a man. bar,-to do in thcsc.doys. to pass for,a genius, is to button his coat behind, and wear bis bat wrong’ side out.* If ho can contrive to tumble' over an a'pplb stand two ol* tUreo times, it will help tllo, matter vastly, ;<.• 4 . K 7“ An English paper mention# d-ebhscfcnt lions clergyman who. preached against tho use of tho American threshing machines,- upon the ground that it was on invention, of i)*o fleviK used by slave owners lopunlsh tho upgreed'J ~ J A Lost Anr.—The Chincseoflhopyesent'ddy are said to have lost a curious secret., They for. mcrly knew how to point their porcelain .with Ashes ond other creatures, in luch a mamfer, that these figures neVer appeared to tho oyoHjh* til the vases word filled with liquor..'.l ■ fjy Whether you ofc playing bh tho stage in tho world, your character* should-be-well dressed. :Broadololh js.'gcncrklly received with a smile though covering a. j-ascal; .wbilolinscy wpolsoy in rather run .upon, thouali coveringi patriot. * ■■ •; ■■■•. .?•-»- >'=i !«•»;■.»