VOL. 49.
The Huntingdon Journal,
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Jan. 7,71.
DR. H. W. BUCHANAN,
DENTIST,
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HUNTINGDON, PA.
July 3, '72.
TA CALDWELL, Attorney -at -Law,
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•\o. 111, 3d street. Office formerly occupied
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DR. A. B. BRUMBAUGH, offers his
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April 5, 1871-Iy.
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- 1 - 4 A. BECK, Fashionable Barber
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Is there one secret place on the face of the earth,
Wrere eharity dwelletk—where virtue has birth?
Where b_soms in mercy and kindness shall heave,
And the poor and the wretched shall ask and receive?
Is there one place on the earth where a knock from the
poor,
Will bring a kind friend to open the door?
Ah! Ream h the wide world wherever you car,
There is no open door for a moneyle. man.
Go look in yon hall where the chandelier's light
Drives off in its splendor the darkness of night.
Where the rich hanging velvet in shadowy fold
Sweeps gracefully down with its trimmings of gold,
And mirrors of silver take up and renew
Iu longlighted vistas the gilded review,
Go there in your patches, and find ifyon can,
Welcoming smiles for a moneyless
Go look in yen church of the cloud-reaching spire,
Which gives back to the sun its same look of fin, •
Where the arches and columns are gorgeous
And the Wane seem as pure as a soul without sin ;
Walk down the long aisle, see the rich and the great,
In the pump and the pride ortheir worldly estate—
Walk down in year patches and find it you can
OLIO who Will open a pew to a moneyless
Go look to your Judge in his dark flowing gown,
When the scales, wherein law weighoth equity down,
When he frowns on the weak itud omilw on the strong,
And. punishes right while he jolt illes wrong;
Where jurors their lips on the Bible have laid,
To render a verdict they've already made—
Go there in your patches and find if you can,
Any law for the cause of a ruoncyless nm.
Go look in your banks, whero Dlammon bath told
Hie hundreds and thousands of silver and gold;
Where, safe limn the grasp of the starving and poor,
Lies pile upon pile of the glittering ore.
Walk up to the counter! Ah ! there you may stay
Till your limbs grow old and your hair turns gray,
And you will had that the banks—not one of the don—
With money to lend to a modeyless man.
Then go to your hovel—no raven has fed
The wife who has waited too long for her bread ,
Kneel down by your pallet, and kiss the death-frost
From the lips of the ungel,your poverty lost.
Then turn in your agony upward to God,
And bless, while it mites you the chastening rod.
And you'll find at the end of your life's little span,
There is a welcome above fora moneyless man.
"I Have Drank My Last Glass."
No, comrades, I ;hank you, not any forme;
Ny last chain is riven, henceforward I'm fre
I will go M my homeand my children to-night
With no fumes or liquor their spirits to blight,
And with tears in my eyes, I will bog my poor wife
To forgive me the wreck I have made of her life I
"I have never refused you before !" Lot that pass,
For I've drank my last gloss, boys,
. I have drank my last glass.
Just look at me now, boys, in rags and disgrace,
With my bleared, haggard eyes, and my red, bloated face!
blank my faltering step and my weak, palsied hand,
And the mark on my brow that is worse than Cain's brand;
See my erownless old hat, and my elbows and knees
Alike warmed by the sun or chilled by the breeze,
Why, even the children will hoot at an as I pasa
But I've drank my last gloss, ho) , ,
I have drank my last glass!
You would hardly believe, boys, to look at me now,
That a mother's soft hand not once pressed on toy brow,
When she kissed use, and blessed me, her darling, her pride,
E'er she lay down to rest by my dear father's side;
But with love in her eyes she looked up to the sky,
Bidding me meet her there, and whispered, ..Good-bye,'
And I'll do it, God helping ! Your smile I let pass,
For Foe drank soy last glass, boys,
I have drank my last glass!
Ah! I reeled home !ant night—it was not very late,
For I'd spent my last sixpence, and landlords won't wait
One poor fellow who's left every cent in their till,
And has pawned his last bed, their coffers to till;
Oh! tho torments I felt, and the pangs I endured;
And I begged for one glass—just one would have cured;
But they kicked me out doors !—I let that too pan,
For I've drenk my last glass, boys,
I hare drank my last glass!
At hi.ide, my pet Susie, with bor sort golden hair,
I flaw through the window, just kneeling in prayer,
From her pale, bony bands, her torn sleeves were strung
down,
'While her feet, cold and bare, shrank beneath herscant
gown
And she prayed—prayed for bread, just a poor crust of
bread ;
For one crust—os her knees, my pet darling plead,
' And I heard, with no penny to buy one, alas!
Dot I've drank my last glass, boys,
I have drank my last glass!
For Susie, my. darl in,g, any wee six-year old,
'though fainting with hunger and shivering with cold,
There on the bare fluor, asked God to bless me !
And she said, "Don't cry. its will; for You see
I believe want sea for l" Then sobered I crept
Away from the house; and that night, when I slept,
Next my heart lay the Pledge!—You smile! Let it pass,
• But Pre drank my last glass, boys,
I have drank my last glass
My darling child saved me! lier faith and her love
Are akin to lily dear imintedl mother'. above!
I will make her words true, or I'll die in the race,
And saber I'll go to my last resting-place;
And she shall kneel there, and, weeping, thank Gist
/it, drunkard lies under that daisy-strewn sod!
Pint a drop more of poison my lips shall e'er pass,
For I've drank my last glass, boys,
I have drank my last gloss!
?Mt Atorg-U4r.
[Written for the JOURNAL.]
WON BY PRAYER.
The month of April, with its round of
variableness, having done its mission as
one of the twelve sentinels of the year, had
retired at . the approach of queenly May.
A more pellucid and soul-elevating morn
ing never graced the diadem of this queenly
month than the one from which my story
dates its origin. The sky was ono sea of
liquid blue. There was nothing to arrest
the eye save the meadow lark as she darted
from her couch of flowers, with thrilling
songs, high into the depths of heaven, and
a few golden clouds which floated about as
it' strolling in the midst of a brilliant scene
of heaven's adorning, seeking a more ra
diant retreat, but finding in the midst no
difference. The flowers of the glens, hill
side, and those imprisoned by dimple fin
gers in the "Cottage parlor," all seemed to
look and smile as if recognizing some god
dess flower blooming in the canopy above.
The country maidens, with hair flowing
over plump, white shoulders, could be
heard from every sparkling dale singing
their matin songs of freedom, till every
forest -was made vocal with the most
charming echoes. As these unfettered
daughters of the happy farmer went forth
after their pet cows to fields sparkling with
the morning dew, how suggestive the
original design of heaven in fitting up a
home for man, when freedom from the
trammels of a so-called "fashionable life"
would necessitate the development of a
symmetrical form. But no such style as
set boundry lines to the development of
the body, and to the great detriment of
health and comfort, seek to add beauty to
the mechanism of heaven. How few be
side those who are nestled away in some
forest glen have foregone this health
blighting folly. Rosalind Gray was one
of these wild flowers, which, like the lilly
of the forest, had grown up beautiful and
unknown but for the discovery of some
maiden in her rambles. Rosalind had
grown more beautiful as eighteen summers
smiled upon her. She knew not how to
borrow beauty from her toilet, but nature
had more than compensated for her lack
of skill in this favorite art. She knew
nothing of the coquetry which charact9r
izes so many of her sex, but here again
nature lavished herself in supplying what
seems more charming to man, a modest,
guileless little heart, which, in its inno
cence, fostered every attribute of the true
woman, and radiated her countenance with
rich smiles of love and tenderness.
BUSINESS CARDS,
LEGAL BLANKS
PAMPHLETS
My readers have, I trust, already learned
to love our little heroine, hid away from
city or town, in the heart of a country glen
where moss-covered rocks. jutting out from
the side of a mountain, form the back-ground
to a neat, white frame cottage, in front of
which another mountain rears its bead
heavenward in silent grandeur; between
the two, a beautiful valley, which seems
to be a favorite retreat for the mountain
birds. Here Rosalind lived unknown ;
the only child of loving parents. Is it to
be wondered at her mother saying :
"None so beautiful as my darling child,"
as she tripped out of the door throwing
back a kiss from lips which mocked the
gilt PI M' Pam
The Moneyless Man.
TAY W. 11. WILLIAMSON,
CHAPTER li
qIINTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 20, 1874.
sweetness of the honey-suckles arching the
doorway.
Crossing a stream bridged by a vine
covered pavilion, on through the garden,
across the meadow, she now stands at the
base of the mountain with a book in her
hand. Turning to her right, she gets into
a narrow path, and being fairly on her
way, begins io warble a song. Did ever
mortal sing more sweetly ? Charmed to
silence by the echo of her own rich
voice, she notices every little flower,
forbidding her feet to tread upon them.
Her path is intercepted by a dashing little
stream of water flowing down a deep ravine
to her left. Turning short, without any
hesitation, she follows the prattling stream,
stepping from reek to rock, as her way
grows steep and difficult, till after a weary
ascent the ravine is cut short by high,
towering rocks forming on the mountain
side, what railroad men would call a
"horse-shoe bend," a more picturesque
spot could not be found. The green valley
far below, with rocks towering a hundred
feet in air, all covered by moss and vines
and underbrush. In the entre of this
embankment of rocks, nature has formed,
as if by jealous care, the place which Ron
alind has named "Flower Grotto." Here
is found the fountain head of the little
stream. A large spring of water by its
side, a large, flat stone, all covered by vel
vet moss, above it the rocks jutted out,
forming a roof of no impotent character,
but picturesque and romantic in its aspect.
Little vines, blooming with dainty flowers,
had taken hold in every crevice, sending
off their slender tendrels, which eitended
down till grasping the moss-covered rocks
below, there came forth a beautiful flower
bed. Far back on this rock, you plight have
seen Rosalind surrounded by flowers, sing
ing birds, and the music of the rippling
water. Facing the east she seems to be
rapt in the grandeur of the scene. Look
ing down through the deep ravine, where
bough, kissing from either side, made
dark the depths below. She was above
this dark mantle of green foliage, which
being covered with a shower of dew-drops
formed a waving sea of brilliants in the
slanting sunbeams, she seemed to be watch
ing
the effect of the morning sun upon one
of nature's loveliest, but transient pictures.
The king of day had just risen from his
oriental repose, and seemed to have en
throned himself amid the ruggid cliffs of
an eastern mountain. His beams soon
chased the dew-drops down into the pant
ing flowers, and playing amid the spray of
the gurgling water, making it resemble a
thousand myriads of tiny diamonds sus
penc:ed in mid-air. Placing her cloak
against a projecting rock, sailed rests
her dimpled cheek against it.
Just here our story must fail of its most
charming merit, as we cannot portray the
angelic loveliness of the maiden. You would
have to look into the depths of those blue
eyes which reflect the pure character of
her soul. You would have to listen to
that sweet voice, to know why we cannot
make our story whole, keeping time with
her slender little foot to the chattering of
the water. A mischievous vine had fast
ened itself to the hem of her dress, and in
his attempts to disappear with the treasure,
exhibited a matchless little ankle which
lay upon the velvet moss without a cover
ing. Her golden hair, unbraided, rich and
abundant, hangs in wild profusion over
shoulders which mock the fairness of the
fleecy clouds, and mingle with the tiny
blossoms at her side.
"Ye gods of beauty, if there ever lived
one more beautiful, she were not mortal."
Standing on a projecting rock, but hid
by underbrush, a tall young man uttered
the above words, as he rested upon his gun.
Stepping out from behind his covert lie
looked down upon Rosalind with a smile.
Believing all were good and pure as her
"dear father," she was not frightened
when Alfred Cressinger asked if he could
"get a drink of water at the spring?"
"I have no cup but one I made of
leaves," she answered with a courteous lit
tle bow, but remembering it was old and
dry, site said, "I will run down the ravine
a short distance and get fresh leaves, as I
have used this cup so often."
"Thank you, but I think this has be
come more precious by the using," he
replied, while a smile lit up his handsome
brown face
Unaccustomed to compliments of this
character, yet her woman's intentiveness
lead her to devine his remark, while, with
a woman's tact, she waved the least possi
ble acknowledgement of his meaning by
her answer, unless that little blush, like
a passing shadow, told a tale.
Alfred Cressinger drew himself up to
the height of six feet. "A handsome
young man," was a compliment paid by
all who knew him. Dark brown hair, a
broad, white forehead, brown checks, the
result of hunting the mountains, a dark,
navy moustache, which partly hid two firm
red lips.
"Our meeting to-day is of such a ro
mantic nature, that if you do not object, I
will keep this cup as a memento, and
hope—"
. . . .
Stopping. short and seeming at a loss for
words to change the purport of a wish
mispoken, lie added,
"I shall make such use of it as will merit
my presumption."
Rosalind smiled and bowed her assent.
At this moment astone,far down the rav
ine, was heard to quit its bed, with bounds
which dislodged others, as if starting on a
race, thundered on in wild confusion.
Rosalind started, as if seeing some one, and
said,
"I must go."
"One moment, please ; there comes my
comrade ; when I have learned his success
with the gun, I will accompany you down
this rugged path around yon point of
rocks."
"Well, Willoughby," shouted Alfred, to
a lad not more than twenty, with dark,
blue eyes and slender form, "what success?" '
The echo answers back, "whatsuecess F"
Willoughby Fireston had lost sight of
the question in the lovely girl standing by
Alfred's side. At length he answered,
"A tired back, and a headache, which
threatens to blind me."
Rosalind's sympathy was at once arous
ed, and she could not forbear saying,
"To bathe his temple with cool spring
water would be.refreshing."
Leaving the two talking, Alfred started
for his gun, whiCh be had left standing on
the reek from which he first saw Rosalind.
Some time was consumed, and when he re
turned he saw the two going down the
rugged path with carefill tread. Ho looked
disappointed, and after Willoughby, with
the utmost care, had placed Rosalind in
the "little plth," and looked into the dove
like eyes when she smiled, unconscious of
their radiance and power to steal a heart,
with a sweet "thank you," bowed herself
away.
The two men met.
"She is the most beautiful creature I
have ever seen, AL"
"Yea, Will, and my ideal of a perfect
woman, the first I ever saw"
"0, pshaw, Al ! I know you have said
you never saw a woman you could love.
I hope you have found one at last."
This last was spoken in a whisper, while
his fair, young face flushed with excite
ment.
Rosalind bounded home, and related her
morning adventure.
"Yes, I have seen those
. young men,"
replied her father. "The one just out of
school is to spend the summer with his
uncle, the other, a wealthy young man
from one of the Eastern cities, came with
him, as be finds great sport in hunting
among our mountains."
Rosalind, for the first time in her life,
became grave, and for one long week did
not take her accustomed walks. Dailyshe
grew more pensive. Her large expressive
eyes, which always before had given to her
face an almost celestial brightness, now
grew tearful•looking, while the drooping
lid cast into shadow the depths of its inner
light. Some power known to sorrow now
grapples for the mastery of her cheerful
nature.
Our two young heroes daily seek the
silent depths of the forest, where, in their
exultant joy, they bring to bay the frolick
ing deer and fox, but as if incited by the
same masterly impulse, and without any
knowledge one of the other, they meet,
from opposite directions, at "Flower Grot
to," each framing an excuse for being
found waiting where game scarce came,
but reading each the others heart, blushed
at his own deception, and endeavored
warding off the perceptible evidence by
thrilling tales of adventure.
CHAPTER 11.
Four bright summer months have come
and gone. September, with its tinted
leaves, its freaks of storm and sunshine,
has set in. The forests are wearing robes
of flashing colors. The mountain side, as
seen from the veranda of Rosalind's cot
tage home, is beautiful. Willoughby Fir
iston has been a daily visitor at the "Moun
tain Cottaze." He has won his way into
the affections of Mr. and Mrs. Gray. His
stay in the country has changed his ap
pearance. He has become more manly in
his looks. His face and hands are brown,
and he often asked Rosalind "how it was
that she did not sunburn ?" when she
would playfully answer, "I am no stranger
to his rays, hence he dare notlook so hard
on me."
Alfred Cressinr , er has not been to the
"Mountain Cottage . " since the evening Mr.
Gray charged him, in an indirect way, of
being an infidel. None knew his heart so
well as Rosalind. While seated, a month
past, in the little pavilion in front of the
house, while the new moon let fall her
mellow light from the sparkling vault of
heaven, and while Rosalind warbled a
sweet hymn, in which her soul seemed to
quit earth and revel with happy spirits
.unseen. The music of her sweet, plain
tive voice, harmonizinr , with the rich, full
chords of her guitar, borne away on the
evening zephyrs, echoed back in soft ea
dence the same sweet tune from the moun
tain sides. With a light tread Alfred
Cressinger approached, and placed his
hand against her soft white cheek.
"Do not be frightened. I heard you
singing and could not relinquish the pleas
ure of being by your side."
"I am glad to see you, but the sentiment
of my song, I fear, will not have the effect
on you that it produces in my heart."
"I presume not, Rosalind, for it carried
me back as if by some magic spell, to my
childhood, when a little boy I was pressed
tightly against the bosom of my beautiful
young mother;when , on a bright summer's
evening, she sang so sweetly for her boy,
locking up into the face of Mtn she trust
ed, asked God to. keep me from sin and
danger. She sang no more, for the next
day her lips were sealed in death. She
had seen but twenty-two summers, so
beautiful, that she is fresh in my memory
yet, just as she looked on that last evening.
My father died when I was but a little,
babe, and when my mother was borne
away from her home on carth'to a far-off
one in heaven, I was all alone. Since then
I have never heard a voice so sweet as
hers 'till I heard you sing a few moments
past. My cheeks have not been dampened
by tears for years, till listening to the
words of your song . I fancied angels
near, and seemed to hear the voice of my
mother in heavenly zephyrs."
Rosalind, with tear-dimmed eyes, broke
in upon his last words, saying, "Alfred, I
thought you were an Infidel."
"An Infidel!" he repeated.
"Yes."
"What reason have you for thinking
so ?"
"Willoughby has been causing father
and mother to think you such."
"And you, Rosalind ?"
"I never thought so."
"Thank heaven I know all now."
At thi3 moment Mr. Gray joined them
"Rosalind, had you not better go into
the house, dear ? It is not good to be in
the night air too much. As for Mr.
Crissinger, since a future state of being
has no part in his life or thoughts, he need
not fear colds."
Stung to the heart, Alfred, without say
leg a word, turned and walked away.
CHAPTER 111,
It was a bright morning, in the latter
part of September, that a happy little par
ty could be seen wending its way up the
deep ravine to "Flower Grotto." Kneel
ing on the same old flower-decked rock,
while the leaves were falling to the ground;
the birds carroling sweet songs, and the
water from the spring dashing down the
steeps as before, Alfred Cressinger and
Rosalind Gray were pronounced man and
wife by the good old minister. Then Al
fred pressed a passionate kiss upon those
lovely lips for the first time.
"Now, Alfred dear, since we are all
alone on the dear old spot where we first
met, tell me, darling, how it was that you
abandoned your Infidel notions."
"Rosalind, do you remember the night
I came to the Cottage tired from hunt
ing ?"
"Yes,
very distinctly."
"Well, after you had retired I was walk
ing on the side porch, smoking. I heard
your voice, and heard you praying for me.
You asked God to enlighten my mind, for
I was your dear Alfred. I could not bear
it; I fled to my room, krelt down before
God and asked Him to make me His child,
and make me worthy to be your 'dear Al
fred.' From that time I was happy. The
old infidel uncle who reared me is dead.—
But., Rosalind, Willoughby Fireston was
a vile deceiver. He never knew my sen
timents, and you never loved him, Roia
lind. Illy pet."
"No, never for a moment."
They are happy at the "Mountain Cot
tage." Alfred is. - beautifying his new
home, and his work grows easier as be
catches a glimpse of his fair bride busily
engaged with household duties. And hero
we leave them.
gleaning for the ';
Daniel Bryan's Oath
Daniel Bryan had been a lawyer of em
inence, but had fallen, through intoxica
tion, to beggary, and a dying condition.—
Bryan had married in his better days the
sister of Moses Felton.
At length all hopes were given up.—
Week after week would the fallen man be
drunk on the floor, and not a day of real
sobriety marked his course. I doubt if
such another was known. He was too low
for real convivality, for those he would
have associated with would not drink with
All alone in his office and chamber, he
still continued to drink, and even his very
life seemed the offspring of his jug.
In early spring Moses Felton had a call
to go to Ohio. Before he set nut he vis
ited his sister. He offered to take her
with him, but she would not go.
"But why stay here ?" urged the broth
er. "You are fading away, and disease is
upon you. Why should you live with
such a brute ?"
"Hush, Moses, speak not so," answered
the wife, keeping back her tears. "I will
not leave him now, but he will soon leave
me. He cannot live much longer."
At that moment Daniel entered the
apartment. He looked like a wanderer
from the tomb. He had his hat on, and
his jug in his hand.
•'Ah, Moses, bow are ye ?" he gasped,
for be could not speak plainly.
The visitor looked at him for'a few mo
ments in silence. Then, as his features
assumed a cold, stern expression, he said
in a strongly emphasized tone :
"Daniel Bryan, I have been your best
friend but one. My sister is an angel,
though matched with a demon. I have
loved you, Daniel, as I never loved man
before; you were generous ; noble and kind;
but I hate you now, for you are a devil
incarnate. Look at that woman. She is
my sister—she now might live in comfort,
only that she will not do it while you are
alive; when you die she will come to me.
Thus do I pray that God will soon give
her joys to any keeping. Now, Daniel, I
do sincerely hope that the first intelligence
that reaches me from my native place, af
ter I shall have reached my new home may
be—that—you—are dead !"
"Stop, Moses, I can reform yet."
"You cannot. It is beyond your power.
You have had inducements enough to have
reformed half the sinners of creation, and
you are lower than ever before. Go and
die, sir, as soon as you can, for the moment
that sees you thus will not find me among
the mourners."
Bryan's eyes flashed, and he drew him
self proudly up.
"Go," ha said, in the tone of the old
sarcasm. "Go to Ohio, and I'll send you
news. Ohio, sir, and watch the post. I
will yet make you take back your words."
"Never, Daniel Bryan, never."
"You shall, I swear it."
With these words Daniel Bryan hurled
the jug into the fire place, and while yet a
thousand fragments were flying over the
floor, he strode from the house.
Mary shrank fainting on the floor.—
Moses bore her to a bed, and then having
called in a neighbor, he hurried away for
the stage was waiting.
Fora month Daniel hovered over the
brink of the grave but did not die.
"One gill of brandy will save you," said
the doctor, wlio saw that the abrupt re
moval of stimulants from the system - that
for long years had almost subsisted on
nothing else, was nearly sure to prove fa
tal. "Ton can surely take a gill and not
take any more."
"Ay,' gasped the poor man, "take a gill
and break nay oath. Moses Felton shall
not hear that brandy and rum kill me. if
the want of it can kill me, then let me die
—l'll not die till Moses Felton shall eat
his words."
He did live. An iron will conquered
the messenger death sent—Daniel Bryan
lived. For one month be could not even
walk without help. Mary helped him.
A year passed away, and Moses Felton
returned to Vermont. He entered the
Court-house at Burlington, and Daniel
Bryan was on the floor pleading for a
young man who had been indicted fur for
gery. Felton started in surprise. Never
before had such torrents of eloquence pour
ed from his lips. The case was given to
the jury, and the youth was acquitted.—
The successful counsel turned from the
court-room and met Moses Felton.
They shook hands but did not speak.—
When they reached the spot where none
others could hear them, Bryan stopped.
"Moses," said he, "do you remember the
words you spoke to me a year ago ?"
"I do,
"Will you now take them back—unsay
them now and forever ?"
"Yes, with all my heart."
"Then I am in part repaid."
"And what must be the remainder of the
payment ?" asked Moses.
"I must die an honest unperjured man.
The oath that has bound me thus far was
made for life."
That evening Mary Bryan was among
the happiest of the happy.
Blushing
The man who does not blush now and
then is scarcely human. According to
Darwin, blushing originated at a very late
period in the long line of our descent.—
The learned thinker explains : "The relax
ation of the small arteries of the surface,
on which blushing depends, seems to have
primarily resulted from earnest attention
directed to the appearance of our own per
sons, especially of our faces, aided by hab
it, inheritance, and the ready flow of nerve
force along accustomed channels; and af
terwards, to have been extended by the
power of association to self-attention di
rected to moral conduct." There are some
men who lie brazenly, so repeatedly and so
persistently in the very face of the truth,
that the question may well be asked if
they ever blush. Certainly they have no
scruples in regard to moral conduct. The
coarse animal must linger in these men,
for their conscience is dead and they do
not know the meaning of morality. Dar
win holds that it does not seem possible
that any animal, until mental powers have
been developed to an equal degree with
those of man, would have been sensitive
about its personal appearance or moral
conduct. Hence it is his opinion that ani
mals have not the power to blush. Impu
dent liars and braggarts, also, never blush,
and so they are hardly human.
LADIES traveling across the plains car
ry their hair in their pockets to avoid be
ing scalped.
Slatterly's Little Joka
A In:
lan who plays practical jokes upon
his wife deserves to be punished, and
Slatterly was punished. His wife has a
dread of eats, and before retiring at night
sye always looks under the bed to see that
no stray puss and no man, on robbery in•
tent, are concealed there. A few nights
ago, after Mr. and Mrs. Slatterly had re
tired, Slatterly, who had been learning
ventriloquism, thought he would amuse
himself and scare his wife by gently
yowling and makin. e' the sound come from
under the bed. Mrs. Slatterly instantly
sat up and exclaimed :
"Josiah, I do believe there is a cat in
this room."
"Oh, nonsense," grunted Slatterly, and
then he made the noise again.
"I tell you, Josiah," exclaimed Mrs. S.,
"I hear a cat under this bed, I wish you
—you'd get out and drive it away."
"Oh, go to sleep, Matilda," said Shatter-
I don't hear anything. There's no
cat about."
Then Josiah, with his mouth under the
covers, uttered a louder screech than be
fore.
"Well, if you won't clear that cat out,
you brute, I will," said Mrs. Slatterly.
So she reached over, picked up Josiah's
boots, and put them on in bed, in order to
protect her feet and ankles from the infu
riated animal. Then she took Slatterly's
cane and stooped down to sweep it around
beneath the bed. .Just as she did so, Jo
siah emitted a fearful yell which might
have come from a cat in the last parox
ysms of hydrophobia. This startled Mrs:
S. so that she sprang backward, and in
doing so she tumbled against the baby's
cradle, which was overturned, and she
went head foremost against a twenty-five
dollar looking glass on the bureau, while
the cane flew out of her hand and lighted
with considerable force on Slatterly's
head.
The screams of Mrs. S. aroused all the
neighborhood, and even brought out the
fire department, so that by the time the
baby was rescued from the wreck, and
broken glass picked up, two engines bad
streams playing upon the house, and the
front door had just been burst open by the
police; and the firemen were engaged in
dragging a wet hose over the entry carpet
and up the front stairs, just as Slatterly
came down to explain things. That feline
ventriloquism cost him just ninety dollars
for carpets and looking glasses and a con
tusion on the head, which the people to
this hour believe he received in a pugilis
tic encounter with his wife.
Personal
Gen. Sickles, who has been in London
fur some time, has left for the United
States.
Johann Strauss, with his famous band,
is spending the month of May -in Rome,
giving concerts.
Victor Hugo has the largest vocabulary
of any author of the day. He is the mod
ern Rabelais.
Miss Ihnnah Woccester, of Berwick,
Me., who is now in her one hundred and
second year, is still in excellent health.
Prince Domenico Orsina, of Rome, who
lately died in his eighty-fourth year, was
the head of his ancient family.
Ex-Gov. C. C. Washburn or Wisconsin
will start, soon on a European trip, to be
absent two or three months.
Gov. Ames, of Mississippi, has deter
mined to put an end to duelling in that
State, and says he shall prosecute all of
fenders.
Bishop Dupauloup is visiting Rome
with the intention, it is said, of completing
with the Pepe the arrangements fOr the
canonization of Jeanne d'Are.
Hon. John Jay, American Minister to
Austria, is in London, en route for the
United States. •He will leave Liverpool
for New York on Saturday nest.
Lady Haddo, mother of the "lost Earl
of Aberdeen," has given $1,600 to the
Massachusetts branch of the Seamen's
Friend Society for the purchase of books.
Mrs. Attorney General Williams is in
very bad health indeed. A trustworthy
Washington correspondent says that she
is in danger of becoming a confirtud in
valid.
Mayor 'Wilts of New Orleans announces
that up to May Ist the subscription for
warded to him to aid the sufferers from
the overflow of the Mississippi, amounted
to $65,384,05.
Professor Snell, of Amherst College,
says that his records show that the last
April was.the coldest one for thirty-five
years, tho temperature having. been seven
degrees below the mean.
On the 19th of April Mr. Owen Jones,
the architect, and one of the Commission
ers of the London Exhibition of 'lB5l,
died, after a severe and 'protracted illness,
at the age of sixty-five years.
Sharp Shooting
"Father, what does a printer live nn ?"
"Live on ?—the same as other folks, of
course. Wby do you ask, Johnny ?"
"Because you said you hadn't paid any
thin..b for your paper, and the printer stills
sends it to you."
"Wife, spank that boy."
"I shan't do it."
"Why not ?"
“Because there is no reason to."
"No reason ? Yes there is. Spank him,
I tell you, and put him to bed."
"I shan't do any such thing. What in
the world do you want him spanked foil ?"
"He is too smart."
"Well, that comes of your marrying
a:e. , '
"What do you mean 7"
"I mean just this, that the boy is smart
er than his father, and you can't deny it.
He knows enough to see that a man—
printer or no printer—can't live on noth
ing, and I should think you would be
ashamed-ofyonrselfnot to know so much."
As yOU pass along the street you meet
with a familiar face—say good morning,
as though you felt happy, and it will work
admirably in the heart of your neighbor.
Pleasure is cheap—who will not bestow it
liberally? If there are smiles, sunshine
and flowers all about us, let us not grasp
them with a miser's fist and lock them up
in our hearts. Rather let us take them
and scatter them about us.
, THE longer the stormthe sweeter the
calm ; the longer the winter nights the
sweeter the stimmer days ; long afflictions
will much set off the glory of heaven.
.
THE • JOURNAL 19 the best advertising
medium in the Juniata Valley.
NO. 20.
Sense and Nonsense,
True to the core—a good apple,
A bad omen—to owe men money.
Agricultural mending—potato patches , .
Love all, trust a few, and wrong no one.
How to get a foot-hold—take a boot-jack.
A legal tender—a lawyer minding his
baby.
Nothing ever happens but once in this
world.
The right side of n drinkingsaloon—the
outside.
Prosperity makes friends; adversity
tries them.
It is better to carve your name on hearts
than marble. -
The cup that neither cheers or inebri
ates—the his-cap.
Never scare off a fly with a club when
a feather will do as well.
Show may be easily purchased ; but hap
piness is a, homemade article.
Never sigh over what might have beep,
but make the best of what is.
Whenever you get in a passion, sit
down in a cool plate fifteen minutes.
Opportunities are like flowers that fade
at night ; seize them, therefore, while they
last.
Any candidate fur office in Omaha who
wears a Shirt-Collar is considered a bloated
aristocrat
Reputation is what men and women
think of us. Character is what God and
angels know of' us.
If the best man's faults were written on
his forehead, it would make him pull his
hat over his eyes.
No person ever got stung by hornets
who kept away from where they were. It
is so with bad habits.
"Pa, what is the use of giving our pigs
so much milk ?" "So they can make hogs
of themselves, - darling."
Anything Midas touched was turned to
gold. In these days, touch a man with
gold, and he'll turn into anything.
Pennsylvania, as is generally known,
takes its name from William Penn, the
word "sylvania," meaning woods.
tourist who was asked in what part
of Switzerland he felt the heat most, re
plied, "when I was going to Berne."
"He bas left a void that cannot be easi
ly filled," as the bank director touchingly
remarked of the absconding cashier.
Grief knits - tiro - hearts in cloSer bonds
than happinesi ever can, and common suf
ferings are far stronger than common joys.
A Georgia clergyman has thirty-two
children, and his parishoners object to his
having four pews withoutpaying for them..
A Yankee wanted the Bridge of Sighs
pointed out to him, and then offered to bet
America has several bridges twice the size.
A grave elder in an English church
forbade the banns of a certain couple be
cause he bad "intended Hannah for him
self."
Thought for a schoolboy's theme—Beau
ty and bashfulness arc often united ; yet
the loveliest maiden is admired for her
cheek.
A fop, in company, wanting his servant,
called. out, "Where's that block bead of
mine ?" "On your shoulders, sir," said iy
lady. •
Bad habits are the thistles of the heart
and every indulgence of them is a seed
from which will spring a new crop of
weeds.
Instead of saying '•lt's a long time be
tween drinks," Western men now remark,
"It's a long time since I signed my last
pledge."
An English boy, •on being asked the
other day who was prime minister of Eng
land, answered, without hesitation, "Mr.
Spurgeon."
A Kentucky gentleman didn't get mad
until he had been called a "liar" eighty
one times. The monotony of the thing
"riled" him.
A Western member of Congress who
interpreted M. C. to mean More Curteney,
was made to understand that it meant
Mighty Corrupt.
A Canadian matron, one hundred and
eight years old, is still able to devote much
energy to bringing up her little boy,
aged ninety-three. •
Boston pays one hundaed and forty-two
thousand dollars a year for church music.
when congregations stand ready to sing
without charging a cent.
Muscatine, lowa, has the boss potato.—
It is twenty-one inches long, thirteen in
circumference, four pounds in weight, and
has more eyes than Argus.
Wink at small injuries rather than
avenge them. It; to destroy a single bee,
you throw down the hive, instead of one
enamy you make a thousand.
A Western editor apologizes for the de
ficiency of the first edition of his paper by
saying he was detained at home by a sec
ond edition in his family.
Eli Love, of Wayne county, Ohio, climb
ed a tree to shake out a coon. The doo a s
heard something drop and went for it, but
it was not the coon. It was Eli:
There arc two reasons why some people
don't mind their own business : One is
that they haven't any business, and the
other is that they haven't any mind.
A sick man on George street "safely
passed the circus in his complaint," on
Monday might—at least that was what the
servant reported to a caller Tuesday eve
ning.
Au Irishman quarreling with an En
glishman told him that if he didn't hold
his tongue be would break his impenetra
ble head and let the brains out of his emp
ty skull.
A stranger who threw a ten-dollar bill
into the contribution•box of a Savannah
church got trusted for five hundred dol
lars' worth of goods next day on the
strength of it..
If you have an enemy, act kindly toward
him and make him your friend. You may
not win him over at once, but try again.
Let one kindness be followed by another,
until you have accomplished your object.
A lawyer in Bucyrus, Ohio, stated at a
temperance meeting that, having seen his
father killed by the carelessness of a drunk
en man, he took a solemn oath never to
drink again, "Since that time," he con
tinued, "I have never broken that oath, at
least not very much."