VOL. 48
The Huntingdon Journal
J. R. DURBORROW,
PCBLISHERS AND PROPRIETORS.
Office ois the Corner of Fifth and Washington etreete.
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Professional Cards,
- -
A P. V. JOHNSTON, Surveyor and
• Civil Engineer Huntingdon, Pa.
Orrice: No. 113 Th ird Street. ang21,1372.
BF. GEHRETT, M. D.. ECLEC
•TIC PHYCICIAN AND SURGRON,hav-
Iog returned from Clearfield county and perma
nently located in Shirleyslntrg, offers his profes-
Fiona] services to the people of that place and sur
rounding country. apr.3-1872.
DR. H. W. BUCHANAN
DENTIST
No. 228 Hill Street,
HUNTEN'GDON, PA.
July 3, '72.
TIM F. 0. ALLEMAN can be
-I—,con
sulted at his office, at all hours, Mapleton,
Pa. [march6,72.
CALDWELL, Attorney -at -Law,
D• No. 111, 3d street. Office formerly occupied
by Moms. Woods .t Williamson. [apl2,'7l.
DR. A. B. BRUMBAUGH, offers his
professional services to the community.
Office, No. 52.'. Washington street, one door east
of the Catholic Parsonage. Dan.4.'7l.
EJ. GREENE, Dentist. Office re
• moved to Leister's new building, Hill etreet
trv•lti ngdon. [jan.4,'7l.
CI L. ROBB, Dentist, office in S. T.
A- 1 1
• Brcwn's new building, No. 520, Bill St.,
Huntingdon, Pu. [up12,71.
VT GLAZIER, Notary Public, corner
11• of Washington and Smith atreetß, Hun
tingdon, Pa. [jan.l2'7l.
li c r C. MADDEN, Attorney-at-Law
• Office. No. —, Hill meet, Huntingdon,
Pa. . [ap.19,'71.
JFRANKLIN SCHOCH, Attorney
• at-Law, Huntingdon, Ps. Prompt attention
given to all legal business. Office 229 Hill street,
•corner of Court House Square. [dec.4,'72
SYLVANUS BLAIR, Attorney-at
"-, • Law, Huntingdon, Pa. Mee, Hill street,
hree doors west of Smith.
vCHALMERS JACKSON, Attor
• ney at Law. Office with Wm. Dorris, Esq.,
No. 403, Hill street, Huntingdon. Pa.
All legal busines; promptly attended to. Danls
_T DURBORROViT, Attorney-at
talr • Law Huntingdon, Pa., will practice in the
several Cou rts of Huntingdon county. Particular
attention given to the settlement of estates of dece
dents.
- 0 - Ece ill he Joint.. Building. [feb.l,'7l.
j W. MATTERN, Attorney-at-Law
tir
• and General Claim Agent, Huntingdon, Pa.,
Soldiers' claims a g ainst the Government for book
pay, bounty, widows' and invalid pensions attend
ed to with great care and promptness.
°Moe on Hill street. (jan.4,'7l.
T . S. GEISSINGER, Attorney -at
--11-a• S.
Huntingdon. Pa. Office with Brown
ei Bailey. [Feb.s-ly
J. HA I.L ltuseeß.
K. ALLEN LOVSLI.
L OVELL & MUSSER,
Attorneys-at-Law,
H trwrixoooN, PA.
Speeial attention given to COLLECTIONS of all
kinds; to the settlement of ESTATES, Ac. ; and
all other legal business prosecuted with fidelity and
dispatch. I:nov(1,12
1p M. & M. S. LYTLE, Attorneys
-A- • at-Law, Huntingdon, Pa., will attend to
all kinds of legal business entrusted to their care.
Office on Fourth Street, second floor of Union
Bank Building. [jan.4,'7l.
- pp A. ORBISON, Attorney-at-Law,
1 - 1 1 , * Office, 321 11111 street, nantingden, Pa.
[may3l,'7l.
JOBS SOOTY. N. T. BROWN. J. Y. BAILEY
lOOTT, BROWN & BAILEY, At,-
torneys-at-Law, iluntingdon, Pa. Pensions,
And all claims of soldiers and soldiers' heirs against
the Government will be promptly prosecuted.
Mee on Hill street. [jan.4,ll.
WILLIAM A. FLEMING, Attorney
at-Law, Huntingdon, Pa. Special attention
riven to collections, and all other legal business
uttended to with care and promptness. Office, Nu.
229, Hill street. [spl9,'7l.
Hotels.
MORRISON HOUSE,
OPPOSITE PENNSYLVANIA R. R. DEPOT
HUNTINGDON, PA
J. E. CLOVER, Prop.
April 5, 11371-Iy.
NVASHINGTON HOTEL,
S. S. Bownos, Prop's.
Corner of Pitt A Juliana Sts.,Bedford, Pa. mayl.
Miscellaneous.
O YES! 0 YES! 0 YES!
The subscriber holds himself in readiness to
cry Sales and Auctions at the shortest notioe.
Having considerable experience in the business
he feels assured that he can give satisfitetion.
Terms reasonable. Address G. J. HENRY,
Marohs-Bnos. Saxton, Bedford county, Pa.
rROBLEY, Merchant Tailor. near
•Broad Top Corner, (eecOnd floor,) Hunting
don, Pa., respectfully solicits a share of public
patronage from town and country. [0ct16,72.
A. BECK, Fashionable Barber
R
and liairdresser, Hill street, opposite the
Franklin House. All kinds of Tonics and Pommies
kept en bandana far sale. [apl9,'7l-6m
cIHIRLEYSBURG ELECTRO-MED
ICAL, Hydropethio said Orthopedie Insti
tute, for the treatment of all Chronic Disease. and
Deformities.
Send for Circulars. Address
Drs. BAIRD A GRIIRETT,
Bhirleyeburg, Pa.
nev/7172U]
The Huntingdon Journal.
Ulte plum' gouttr.
J. A. NASH,
[For the JOURNAL.]
An April Morning
Balmy April morning! Summer's infant sighs
On thy floating breezes softly, sweetly, rise;
O'er the waking valleys stream thy golden light,
Guilding the dark pinions of retiring night.
Hoary Winter yielding ups Lis icy hand.
Trees the swelling forest neath thy mgnie hand,
And the thrilling chorus of the vernal choir,
Wake the plaintive echoes from their silent lair.
Soon will fragrant flowers ushar smiling May,
Flooding Earth with gladness driving grief away,
Casting her green mantle on each shrub and tree
E're the Summer noontide deeper charm. display.
May our sluggish nature stirred by scenes so bright
Rouse its dormant powers, strive to hail the light
Shed by nature's beauties o'er the tiring soul,
Brave anew life's duties as the seasons roll.
The Newsboy's Debt.
"Sir, if you plenum, my brother Jim—
The one you give the bill, you know—
Be couldn't bring the money, Sir,
Becalm hie back rata hurled to.
"He didn't mean to keep the 'change r
He got runned over, up the street:
One wheel went right across his back,
And t'other fore-wheel mashed his feet.
•'They stopped the horses just is time,
And then they took hiss up for dead,
And all that day and yesterday
He wasn't rightly in his head.
"They took him to the hospital—
One of the newsboys knee 'twas Jim—
And I went too, because, you see,
We two are brothers, I and him.
"He bad that money in his hand,
And never saw it any more.
Indeed, be didn't mean to steal !
He never lost a cent before!
"Ho was afraid that you might think
He meant to keep it, any way;
This morning, when they brought him to,
He cried because be couldn't pay.
"He made me fetch bis jacket bore ;
It's torn and dirtied pretty bed;
It's only fit to sell for rage,
But then, you know, it's all be bad!
"When he gets well—it won't be long—
If you will call the money lent.
He says he'll work his fingers off
Bat what he'll pay you every cent."
And then be cast a rueful glanee
At the soiled jacket where it lay.
'.No, no, my boy! Take back the coat
Your brother's badly hurt, you say ?
Where did they take him? Just run out
And hail a cab, then wait for me.
Why, I would give a thousand coats,
And pounds for such a boy as he!"
A half hour after this we stood
Together in the crowded ward.,
And the nurse checked the hasty steps
That fell too loudly on the boards
I thought him smiling in his sleep.
And scarce believed her when she said,
Smoothing away the tangled hair
From brow and cheek, "The boy is dead."
Dead? dead so soon? How fair be looked!
One streak of sunshine on his hair.
Poor lad! Well, it is warm in heaven
No need of "change" and jackets there!
And something rising in my throat
Made it so hard for me to speak,
I turned away. and left a tear
Lying upon his sunburned cheek.
—Extract from a Posts by H. R. Hudson, in Har
pers Mag.-hie for May.
story-Zeiltr.
NY BROWN MERINO.
BY BIRDIE BELL.
"Do you think it will look fit to be seen
after it is turned ?" I asked, holding up to
the light my old brown merino.
Georgia looked at it rather dubiously,
while I anxiously waited her decision.
"R'st—l don't know, Rose. I wish
you would take my black alpaca. The
merino will he good enough for me here at
home."
"Indeed I'll do no such thing !" I ex
claimed, indignantly. "Have all the pleas
ure of going away, and take your dresses
in the bargain leaving you to stay at home
and wear my old clothes ! I can't be quite
that selfish, Georgie."
Georgie laughed melodiously. She al
ways had such a pleasant, rippling laugh—
it sounded warm and sunny, just like her
own sweet temper.
"Now that's - what I call straining at a
gnat," said Georgie, with her ripe, red lips
trying to pout, but quivering with smiles
instead. "But here comes mamma. She
shall settle the point."
Poor dear mamma turned her head, first
to one impetuous daughter, then to the
other, sighing gently all the while. But
to my great glee, the decision was in my
favor.
"1 wish you could have another new
dress, dear Rose," said mamma, in her
kindest tones; "but I don't see how we
can manage it."
All this dispute may seem very trival to
the unconcerned, but to us, the interested
parties, it was of the greatest importance.
I was going on a journey—actually going
to leave my home, and travel alone for the
first time in my life. We, that is mamma,
Georgie and I, lived on grandfather'sfarm,
in New Hampshire. Mamma had a friend
named Mrs. Wharton, who hadbeen living
in Boston for many years, and she had
written to mamma, begginc , thatone of her
daughters might pay her a long visit.
Great was the deLating as to which should
accept the invitation. Georgie insisted
that it was my prerogative, as I was Mrs.
Wharton's namesake. I rather think our
uew minister had something to do in ma
king Georgie so persistently refuse to go ;
for good and kind as Georgie was, she had
never been as kind in the Sunday school
and Dorcas, until young Mr. Partridge
beamed upon us, with bright, black eyes.
Hotiever, it won't do to tell her secret
without special permission.
Mamma had given me a new gray poplin
for Sundays and visiting, I had also a white
muslin for evenings io case I should go to
any parties. These, with my two morning
wrappers, were considered a very good out
fit. Georgie had generously insisted on
my takito , ' her new sash along with my
own; and, as I said at the beginning of my
story, wanted me also to have her new
black alpaca, her own best dress, andle ave
my brown merino—my last winter's gar
ment—fer her to wear on Sundays. But
Geergie was the soul of generosity, and
would beggar herself to do one a kindness.
After much twisting and turning, and
discussion as to trimmings, my wardrobe
was considered finished and presentable,
and I embarked on my journey. The ride
was one long delight, for my passionate
love of traveling had hitherto been very
little gratified.
As I stood in the depot, at say journey's
end, and looked helplessly around me, a
tall gentleman, with a handsome brown
moustache, approached me, and bowing
with that easy and polished grace which
only long contact with best society can
give, said, in an inquiring tone :
"Miss Rose, I presume ?"
I bowed in response, inwardly wonder
ing if polite society required gentlemen to
address ladies, on a first acquaintance, by
their christian names.
"My aunt, Mrs. Wharton, has been un
expectedly called away from home for a
few hours, and has given me the honor and
pleasure of escorting you to her house."
My second reply wasanother bow. Again
I was wondering who this nephew was.
The gentleman looked at me rather curi
ously. Evidently he was beginning to
think me dumb, so I found a voice tosay :
"How is Mrs. Wharton ?"
"Very well, indeed, I thank you, and
looked eagerly for your arrival."
After we were seated in the carriage,
which was far handsomer than my country
experience had thought possible, the gen
tleman proceeded in his efforts for my en
tertainment.
"Do you wonder hew I knew you. Miss
Rose ?"
"Very much," I replied—not, however,
without qualms of conscience, as I had real
ly not given it a thought.
"I recognized you by your dress," he
triumphantly responded.
I looked down at my brown merino, the
subject at home of sl much disputing, and
felt an inward terror. Was the man a me
dium, a clairvoyant? He had in spirit
heard my conversation with Georgie ?
"My dress 1" I gasped.
"Yes, your dress. My aunt informed
me that your traveling suit was brown."
"Oh !" I faintly ejaculated, inwardly
thinking how very strange in mamma to
write to Mrs. Wharton concerning the
dress, and feeling considerably vexed about
it, so much that the gentleman, judging
from my flushed cheeks that the subject
was unpleasant, pursued it no further, to
my great relief.
Presently the carriage stopped before a
large and handsome dwelling, and although
I knew that Mrs. Wharton was in posses
sion of a very comfortable income, 1 was
not prepared for the elegance I encoun
tered.
My poor brown merino looked sadly out
of place beside the rich crimson furniture
and splendid mirrors, and had not Mrs.
Wharton's nephew made strenuous efforts
for my entertainment, I should have sub
sided into that mostforlorn and dreary feel
ing—home-sickness.
•illy aunt begged that we should dine at
the usual hour," said the gentleman, atter
I had divested myself of my wraps, "as
she was afraid she would not be able to re
turn before eight or nine o'clock ; the friend
she has gone to see is very ill, in fact dy
ing, and Aunt Lizzie will probably stay un
til all is over."
"Aunt Lizzie," I thought, "has she dis
carded the name of Rose ?" I remem
bered, however, that her initials were R.
E. W.
The dinner was charming; my appetite
was good. I never had dyspepsia in my
life, and I ate the luxuriant tbod, so daint
ily prepared, with an enjoyment that must
have been quite amusing to my compan
ion.
About an hour after we had sat down,
while we were leisurely partaking our des
sert, and discussing the rights of women,
the butler handed a note to my vis-a-ri.s.
After asking me to excuse him, he opened
and read it. The look of surprise and con
sternation in his face was simply appall
ing._
"Has anything happened to your aunt ?"
I timidly inquired, feeling very uncomfort
able under the scrutinizing gaze of his
dark gray eyes.
"No, no—that is, nothing of importance
—but I do not think she will be back to
night. But, Miss Rose—your name is Miss
Rose, is it not ?"
,
I put down the orange I was peeling,
and looked the amazement I felt.
"Aly name is Rose Terry," I re
plied, with as much dignity as I could
assume.
"Yes, certainly—l beg your pardon—
but, Miss Rose—Miss Terry, I mean—you
will make yourself comfortable for the
night—until my aunt returns, I should
say !"
His confusion seemed very strange, after
his late graceful self-possession; but, attrib
uting it all to the contents of the note—
alas ! I did not dream of the information it
conveyed—l endeavored to make the best
of it, and told him not to he uneasy, as I
did not doubt but that Mrs. Wharton
would return early in the morning.
Books and music formed the principal
subjects of conversation, during the few
hours I passed with Mrs. Wharton's neph
ew; and so pleasant and agreeable did he
prove, that I began to like him very much
and quite forgot my embarrassment at re
maining so long alone with a stranger.
At breakfast, next morning, we chatted
away quite like old friends; but when the
meal was over my companion asked me to
walk into the library for a few moments.
I complied with hisrequest, made rather
gravely, feeling a sensation pass through
me that something was going to happen.
"Please be seated, Miss Terry," he be
gan. "I regret that I um obliged to ex
plain a very strange mistake and I beg
your pardon for keeping you in ignorance
through last evening, but, believe me, I did
so only because I wished you to have a
pleasant and comfortable rest after your
long jotFney."
could say nothing to this preparatory
speech, for my heart was throbbing at snob
a furious rate I dared not trust my voice.
"My aunt," he continued; "expected a
lady friend, named Miss Annie Rose, to ar
rive by yesterday, and being called from
home unexpectedly, she commissioned me
to be her escort from the depot to the
house. She spoke of Miss Rose's travel
ing dress being brown, and hence my mis
take in acenting you. The note I received
last eveninc , apprised me of my error, for
in it Annt informed me that Miss
Rose,learning the illness of Mrs. Talmage,
bad arrived by an earlier train, and gone di
rectly to the house of Mrs. Talmage, so that
she might see her once more while alive.
If you will accept my apologiesfor causing
you this inconvenience and delay in your
plans, I will be truly grateful for your for
bearance, and will do all in my power to
rectify my mistake as speedily as possible."
What could I say? He was so sincerely
sorry, I could find no fault with him.
With hot cheeks I explained my part of
the misunderstanding.
"My friend is Mrs. Rose Wharton. She
liveb on Charles Street.
_lf you will—"
"I shall deliveryou safelylnto her hands
Miss Terry," he interrupted, "and will
immediately order the carriage. But first
I must thank you for your goodness in so
readily granting pardon for my inadcer
tance.
When we arrived at Mrs. Rose Wharton's
door he turned to me, and taking my baud
said :
"Miss Terry, you have shown me great
mercy. Will you add to your favors one
more kindness, and grant me permission to
call this evening and renew the acquain-
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 1873
tance which, although commenced under
such untoward circumstances, has yet
afforded me much happiness ?"
The look whieb accompanied these words
was so beseeching that my heart yielded,
and I:murmured an almost inaudible "yes."
which favor he acknowledged by a slight
pressure of my hand.
Mrs. Wharton and I had a hearty laugh
over my adventure; and when he called
that evening, she was completely charmed
with both his manner and appearance.
The acquaintance commenced so strange
ly, progressed rapidly, and, before my visit
was half over, I had goodreason to hug my
old brown merino with a grateful heart for
being the unconscious instrument in bring
ing me so much happiness.
I afterward had the pleasure of seeing
Miss Annie Rose's brown suit. Need I
say it was as far superior to mine as bran
new three-dollar-a-yard material covered
with expensive trimmings could be to a
seventy-five cent merino, which was in its
second season.
"Never mind said my lover, as I pointed
out the difference; you shall have as many
ruffles and flounces as you like hereafter;
but this brown dress is simply perfect, it
contains my Rose."
patrol toe the pillion.
Religion in America ,
The census tables of religious sects do
not show as much progress relatively in
the last decade as in the preceding. The
membership ran thus : In 1850, 14,234,-
825 ; in 1860, 19,128,751; in 1870, 21,-
665,062; increase of 4,804,926 in the
first decade, and only 2,516,311 in the
second. In the number of church build
ings the progress was thus marked : In
1850, 38,061; in 1860, 54,000; in 1870,
63,082; evidently less advanced in mem
bership. But in the cost of churches the
show is just the other way. viz: in 1850,
887,328,801 ; in 1860, 8171,377,932 in
1870, $354,483,581. The leading denom
inations are given thus :
1350. 1760. 1370.
Regular Baptists 3,247,069 3,749.551 3,997,116
Other Baptiste 60,142 294,667 464,019
Congregational
307,335 956,351 1,177,212
643,502 847;206 991,051
286,323 269,084 224,664
Epiicoial
Friends ...
303,780 671,016 865,602
Christian
34,412
18,371
Jewish
539:701 757;657 977,432
Lutheran
Methodists 4,335,510 6,259,799 6,528.209
Moravions 114,933 20,136 25,700
10,380 13,000 87,833
Mormons.
Swedenborgians 5,600 15,395 18.755
Regular Presbyten 2,079,765 2,088,838 2,198,900
Other Presbyterians 10,189 477.111 499,344
Dutch Reformed 182,686 211,068 227,228
German Reformed 160,932 273,697' 431,700
Roman Catholic 669,863 1,404,437 1,900,514
Unitarians 138,067 138,2 I 3 135,471
Universalists 215.115 235,219 210,884
These figures reveal the following facts
for 1870 :
Total membership of all churches ' .1.665,052
Roman Catholic 1,990,514
Protestants and ethers 19,674,548
The Methodists alone outnumber the
Catholics more than three to one. the
Baptists exceed them two millions. And
the great predominant religion of the na
tion may be said to be Protestant and evan
gelical. The leading denomination of the
Republic, by long odds, is the Methodists,
with its six and a half millions. Next to
that comes the Baptist, four and a third
millions. Then the Presbyterians take
rank, two millions six hundred strong.
The Jews appear to have multiplied rap
idly. The extraordinary growth of the
Lutheran and German Reformed is, no
doubt, attributal to the enormous German
immigration. In the light of these cen
sus returns the fears entertained by so
many persons respecting the growth of the
Roman Church in America appears to be
needless. The German Portestant sects
far outnumber them, and so do all the
leading evangelical denominations, each in
its turn. It is impossible to study this
census table attentively without coming to
the conclusion that those who have talked
vaguely about a national religion have been
wholly unaware that it actually exists and
has done so all along. The Episcopalians
and Catholics combined are scarcely strong
enough to make any impression upon the
prodigious mass of Evangelicals. For in
stance, a church denominated "Christian"
gained more members in the la 4 decade
than the Protestant Episcopal did, while
the "United Brethren in Christ" muster
ed in 1870 no less than 265,025 members,
being more than the Society of Friends.
We do not stop to moralize upon the
importance of these developments, since
they speak for themselves. in 'the light
of these statistics the American nation ap
pears to have been an exodus of Protestant
Evangelical Christianity from Europe; an
exodus that goes on every day dour lives,
pouring upon our shores such hosts of peo
ple of the same faiths as overwhelm all
other elements. It seems to be as clear
as day that the dissenters of England, Ire
land, Scotland and Wales will mainly im
migrate hither in the course of time, and
that what the empire of Kaiser William is
losing is not the Cattolies, as has been
supposed, but the German evangelical sects.
England is still clinging to her State
church, and Germany to hers; but the
dissenters in both Bee to America, the
grand gathering-place of all evangelical
Christians from the ends of the earth And
the native energy of these sects appears to
have been immensely increased in Ameri
ca, where the missionary operations, for
eign and domestic, assume great propor
tions. We say these things without pre
judice to any denomination, but simply as
recorded facts that now shine forth in the
census with singular brightness. It is be
yond all dispute that we have a national
predominant religion, though not an es
tablisi• ed one.—North American.
Spiders Traveling by Balloon
A correspondent of the Scientffie Amer
ican relates a singular incident. In com
pany with other persons he was crossing
Seneca Lake on the 10th of October, when
a small wake was seen near the centre of
the Lake. caused by the moving of some
insects. Upon investigating the matter it
was found that three spiders were gliding
over the surface of the water, and attached
to them was a single thread, the size of a
knitting needle, extending in the air to the
bight of thirty feet at an angle of sixty
degrees, and terminating with an enormous
balloon shaped web. This latter was judg
ed to be eight feet long and five feet wide,
with 'stays fastened to the main thread,
something similar to those of a balloon.
and it was managed, apparently. by an in
numerable number of the insects stationed
at proper intervals. The party attempted
to obtain a closer view, but when within a
few feet of the web it began torise, though
the last spider, which proved'to be about
the size of a house fly, was brought back
by the stroke of an oar. The balloon went
onward and upward until it was lost to
sight.
The Sience of Teeching Minis Eju-
kashun
NUMBER FORE.
MISTER EDITITIC:—SMISMStaROSS
wont of tyme have delete this letter long
er then it shood hay bin delude. When i
last rote i left off with the teecher in per
zeshun of the muteh dezired surtifekate.
Lett bins keap it, while we examen the
quolefekashuns of sum of the gentelmen
who holde Superinkumbent's surtifekates
and rejoice in the applelashun of skule
teechers. We will see how well sum uv
theta iz poasted on the differint brantches.
Az i kno leest about grammer i wil speak
of it forst. Thatt iz the was moast pee
plc do; they blowe mast about whet thay
kno leest about; but i take grammer find
so thatt i will gett dun with it and hay it
off my mind. Grammer is a thing thatt i
never coed underatande verry wel; and
therefoar i doant blaim our teechers moast
ly fur there iggnoranse on thatt point; &
the mejority of thetum are az innesent of
enny nollidge of the prinsepels of grammer
az a too daze old baby is of premedetated
assolt and battery. Thay have lurned a
jumble about knouns and prownouns and
siteh. and they generally hav it 01l so mixd
that if yoo wood Neer them anneelyzo on
the cleerest summer day yoo woodcut kno
what they wuz tacking about—and they
wocdent kno neetber.
When i wuzyung i wocke 4314 miles wan
day to sea a gratnmer book. When i got
thare i found thatt the mann hoo oaned
that book, nott being abet to maik hed nor
tale of it. bad giv it two hiz boy to pla
with, and he hadd toar off the kuvvers and
haft the leeves. Butt i still red muff in it
about ajject • ives & partesepels & antitbe
sem & heptarkeze & sutch thingze to ntaik
me foal forever after a supreem kontentpt
forgrammer. Still from extensive reed
ing of robesen kruso, the nob york lejjer
& either standerd works of fikshun i hiv
aqcpired sum nollidge of the konstruk
shun of the langguidge; & i doo think
that teechers ott to kno at leeast az match
about it as i do. Butt i finde vary fuo of
then, eeven of thoze hoalding a no wun
surtifekates, hoo kno seven half as mutch
about suteh things,—& it iz not likely the
Suserinkumbent wood give me over 6 or
7 if grammar unles i had attended a sum
me- normal skule, whitch i am free to oan
thatt i havvent.
78;265
. I wunse herd a teecher kompair the
prewknoun wunse this way : worse, wurser.
wursest—to whitch i remarked thatt hee
wuz the moast iturstest sooperletive thatt
i hadd evver saw, and yett hee helled a
good surtifekate and wuz kounted a shin
ing lite in the prefeshun. Nott lono• ' ago i
hutd a juvenile assperant for teechoriel
distinksbun trying to parse the sentence
"i wontt to be a — man;." He sed thatt
main wuz knomenative to the vurb to be
and putt in oppezishun to the proknown
i mat. Theft young mann kumplaned
thatt he diddent get as good a surtificzte
az the fella) thatt satt neckst him at the
examenashun ; and the reason he gaive
was thatt the uther felloe had been at the
koutty superinkumbent's summer normel
slink, and he haddent. I noed he ott to
hag.; better surtifekate butt i diddentlike
to pert his fealings by saying so. Wun
time i hard sum teechers diskussing the
fraze "Tommas went to warr." Sum sed to
warn win in the inphinetive mood, sum
sed it was indikitive (it wood be indikitiv
of fiting,) sum sed it wuz impurretive, for
he wuz draffted, and sum Bed it wuzzent in
enny mood at 011, but wuz a known in the
objektive kase to the addvurb went. Wun
of them trancepozed it to reed "Tommas
went to be a soljer," and they 01l had a
hitch at it in thatt shaip ; but they kood
end agree on it enny better thenn, and
thay just agread nott to agrea at 01l about
it. Thay 01l had good surtefekatos, and
will gett good wuns agen if tbay—wantt
them. Butt this annelizing of scentenses
and kolling of moods and tences and bigg
wurds, stitch az partesipeal knowns and
prownomonal ajjecktives & the like, did
allwaze konfuse me, and i hasen to leeve
the subjekt for wan thatt i ked handel
better. I wil ad here howevver wun more
sentense for sumbuddy to annelize. Itt
wuz the expreshun of a ping ladie, and
reeds thusly :—"She must ott to doo nett
to lett me bee " Thatt ping ladle wuz
going a normal skule. She wanted to be
a skulemarm, and withe the skulemarms
stand ; a frowne uppon bur forrid and a
burch rod in her hand, and shee ott to hay
a surtifekate, and wil gett won i kno.
I mite hay multiplide instenses as giv
abuv butt i nedent waist time in so duing.
In the words of the lait lamented longfel
loe (or sum tither crusty old poet) let the
abut , sefiee. In konkluding the subjekt
of grammer i was going to giv vurbattem
koppies of sum letters ritt by different
teechers, butt i hay misslade them &,
nott find butt wun of them at prezzent.
After 01l yoo kan tell az match about a
manes kwolifekashuns by the letters he
rites az bi enny uther way. For instense
yoo wood judge immejitly after reeding
this letter thatt i wood be a good skule
teecher if i just went a summer to the 3
hops normel skule and gott a surtifekate.
Heer i append a letter ritten by a sellie
brated teecher to mr. p. jno. smith, wan
of the Grove direkturs. I giv it just as
ritt by him :
"Snidertown, Oct. the Set 72 ter Smithe deer
Sir i om a Scholl toecher, and I understand you ar
in Desire off a Tecchor for Youre Scholl i hav
Tecabed five Winters and can Teach algebre iff
anny of yonre Schollers want to Lern it I hay a
good . Certifucate i wil coin Over Next eunday to
See about the Scholl.
Whitch thatt letter it waz short swete
&to the poynt ; butt J—diddent teed' a
grove skule last winter. Mr. &tithe did
dent like the way he strung around the
the kapitle letters. Enuff the for this
time. Yoors till we mete ages.
NICODEMUS WOCKER.
Woller's Grove, April the 19th 1873.
Napoleon
Napoleon .I. wrote shortly before his
death; "Alexander, Caesar. Charlemange.
and I found empires, but upon what did
we rest for the execution of our views?
Upon force. No one but Jesus has found
ed as empire on love, and at this moment
millions of men would din for him. It
was not a lay nor a battle that won the
victory over the world for the Christian
religion. No; it was a long war, a fight
of centuries, begun by apostles, and con
tinued by their successors. I see all the
kings and powers of the earth on one side,
and on the other I see no army, but a
mysterious figure, and a few men scattered
here and there through all parts of the
world, who have no rallying point but
faith in the mysteries of the cross. i die
before my time, and my body will be put
into the ground, and become the food of
worms. Such is the fate of the great Na•
poleon. What an abyss between my deep
wretchedness and Christ's eternal kingdom,
proclaimed, loved, and spreading through
the world I"
Gossip About Kisses.
Some writer, we kown not who, has well
described the "vulgarization" of kisses by
characterizing it as "profanatson." This
is emphatically an age of kissing. Every
body kisses everybody. Since the anti
fastidious days when the old woman salu
ted her cow, such a time of promiscuous
and inordinate lip service was never known.
The signal of a "strange intelligence" has
become a hissing and a bye word; the
playing of witlings ; the tool of satyrs ; the
lost jewel of the elect.
kiss should be one of the holiest de
monstrations of the soul; it should have a
voiceless ebquence—an electric reserve.
It has no such thing. It pops a good
morning, it sputters a good evening; it
whizzes and fizzes on the right hand, on
the left hand, here, there,and every where;
at last, marked, cornered and set upon, we
set our teeth, and abide the shock as best
we can. It is high-handed sacrilege, and
we enter our protest.
A kiss is no more an unconsidered trifle
to be rudely filched—torn warm and beat
ing from its resting place, and frittered
from mouth to mouth, than is the pu
rest prayer we offer—which God still keeps
inviolate. If we would preserve the gift
a sweet and holy token—beautiful and
sanctified:to the beloved—we must use it
wisely and with a noble cheerfulness.
Public kissing, however, madly and at
random, prevails extensively. The mala
dy grows and is becoming epidemic and
chronic. Zenobia's kiss is the long and
silent throb of her inmost soul—nnex
pressed and inexpressible, save to those
divinely akin ; but if she chances to be one
of an indiscriminate circle, as each mem
ber drops off she must bend her head to
the puppet performance—the kiwi' round
—which would be more appropriately ac
companied by the elegant air of "Pop goes
the Weasel." Penelope herself is obliged
to look sharply to the dew on her lips, or
ten to one it will be spirited away on some
graceless mustache.—Figaro.
Haste and Health,
It is not at all wholesome to be in a
hurry. Locomotives have been reported
to have moved a mile a minute for short
distances, but locomotives have often came
to grief by such rapidity. Multitudes in
their haste to get rich are ruined every
year. The men who do think naturally,
slowly, deliberately, are the men who often
est succeed in life. People who are hab
itually in a hurry generally have to do
things twice over. The tortoise beat the
hare at last. Slew men seldom knock their
brains out against a pest. Foot races are
injurious to health, as areall forms of coin
petive exercise ; steady labor in the field is
the best gymnasium in the world. Either
labor or exercise, carried to exhaustion or
prostration, or even great tiredness, ex
pressed by "fagged out," always does more
harm than the previous exercise has done
good. All running up stairs, or to catch
up with a vehicle or ferry boat, are ex
tremely injurious to every age and sexand
condition of life. It ought to be the most
pressing necessity which should induce a
person over fifty to run twenty yards.—
Those live longest who are deliberate,
whose actions are measured, who never
embark in any enterprise without "sleep
over it," and who performing all every day
acts of life with calmness. Quakers are
proverbially calm, quiet people, and Qua
kers are a thrifty folk, the world over.—
Dr. Hall.
Is Friday an Unlucky Day?
Friday, long regarded as a day of ill
omen, has been an eventful one in Amer
ican history .
Friday, Christopher Columbus soiled
on his voyage of discovery.
Friday, ten weeks after, he discovered
America.
Friday, Henry VII. of England gave
John Cabot his commission which led to
the discovery of America.
Friday, St. Augustine, the oldest town
in the United States, was founded.
Friday, the Mayflower, with the Pil
grims, arrived at Princetown ; and on
Friday, they signed that august compact,
• the forerunner of the present Constitu
tion.
Friday, George Washington was born.
Friday, Bunker llill was seised and for
tified.
Friday, the surrender of Saratoga was
made.
Friday, the surrender of Cornwallis, at
Yorktown, occurred ; and on
Friday, the motion was made in Con
gress that the United Colonies were, and
of right ought to be, free and independ
ent.
Dealing with Children,
We oftentimes expect far too much of
our children. We forget how untrained,
in the very nature of things, all their fac
ulties must be. We grow impatient be
cause the boy fails, for instance, to apply
himself to study as he ought, forgetting
that our very process of education is large
ly this—the training of the mind to hab
its of application. In short we want our
child perfect at once, forgetting bow im
perfect we are ourselves. We shrink from
putting forth that constant, unwearied et . -
fort from day to day that alone can secure
the desired end. And then, because one
effort or two, one admonition, or one
reiteration, fails to attain the result, oh !
how impatient we are! From that one ef
firt, as the one result of that one admon
ition, our child ought to spring up into
perfection of character, as Pallas sprang
full-armed from the brain of Jove. But
this is simple injustice. We cannot make
ourselves perfect with one endeavor.—
How can we, with reason, expect auy such
thing in our children ?
The Ruts of Life,
Get out of them if you with to live long,
if you wish to avoid the lunatic asylum.
if you wish to escape suicide or a miser's
death. Men and women must have recre
ation, must have amusement, must have
diversion. It is wholesome for the mind
to break away from its daily vocation or
employment every night. The man who
goes from his counting-house or his work
shop at the close of the day and does not
leave it behind him, but sits at the family
table in moodiness, brooding over past oc
currences, weighing probabilities, casting
conjectures, laying plans; and when the
meal is over sits thinking, thinking, think
ing by the hour. and goes to bed to toss,
and tumble, and worry, cannot live long ;
the brain or the heart must give way, and
he will drop dead in the street.
11 Lx others when you can, but never
give what you cannot afford to, simply be
cause it is fashionable.
Tit-Bits Taken on the Hy.
A stock in trade—Hosiery.
Alms are the salt of riches. .
Wishes can never fill a sack.
Willful waste brings woeful want.
An article you may borrow—Trouble.
Wisdom rides upon the ruins of folly.
Who pardons the bad injures the good.
Women in mischief are wiser than men.
Words are for women; actions for men.
zeal without knowledge is fire without
light.
Wise men change their minds; fools
never.
A handsome thing in shawls—A pretty
girl.
Wisdom is more to be envied than
riches.
Wbat is given to the poor is laid up in
heaven.
What can you expect of a hog but his
bristles ?
Women, wind and fortune are ever
changing.
Wine is a turncoat—first a friend, then
an enemy.
Wickedness with beauty is the devil's
hook baited.
The London stock exchange is being
enlarged.
Tree planting in Kansas amounts to an
epidemic.
Tho cows in Vermont yield an income
of $6,000,000 a year.
Connecticut will establish a State labor
statistical bureau.
Secretary Delano denies the report that
he is about to resign.
Promising coal discoveries have been
made in Iron county, Utah.
The winter and approach of spring this
year in Sweden arc of an extreme severity.
A Eurepean writer says the Americans
are the most extravagant people in the
world.
The epizootic has nearly subsided in
Arizona, and all the stages are running
again.
A San Francisco paper recently headed
its leading editorial, "The truth for a
change."
It will take six years to get a decision
from the Supreme Court on the new tem
perance law of Indiana.
The Rhode Island Railroad Commission
ers have ordered an investigation relative
to the recent railroad disaster.
It is stated that applications fcr pass
ports are received at the State Department
at Washington at the rate of 100 per day.
The new Gardner gun, which combines
both magazine and breech-loader, fires
twenty-seven shots in sixty-three seconds.
A boy eight years old at Lowell, Mass.,
spelled 7,000 words without a miss, and
lie put 100 to the committee and they
missed fifteen.
The Commonwealth of 3lassachnsetts
realized $5,000 in fines and costs in prose
cutions against liquor dealers, in the muni
cipal court of Boston, in a single day last
weck.
A Rhode Island mao, who mysteriously
disappeared three years ago, and was sup
posed to have been murdered, has just been
discovered superintending a mill in Geor
gia.
In Vienna the journalists and authors
haVe decided unanimously to oppose with
energy the aggressions of the anonymous
press. A spirited meeting with this ob
ject has been held.
The government will take no further
steps for the release of Big Tree and San
tanta until after a council is held with the
Kiowas. Comanches and other tribes in
the Indian Territory.
It is now reported in New York that
plans are being matured in Europe for
constructing a new railroad route from
New York to Philadelphia via New York
bay and across Staten Island.
A shop window in New York displays a
patent life-preserving mattress floating in
a cistern of water, and having on it a
family of dolls arranged to represent per
sons who have been shipwrecked.
The amount of wheat in store at Wino
na, Minn.. nn the opening of navigation,
was 474,000 bushels. Of this amount
30,100 bushels was winter wheat. There
is also probably about 13,000 bushels of
barley there.
A summary of the religious statisties of
the census show 'that church property has
more than quadrupled clarion. the last
twenty years, while membership has in
creased only fifty per cent. The Metho
dists possess the largest amount of property
and the largest number of members—
s69,Bs4.l2l and 6,528,209.
A rusty-looking agriculturist entered a
newspaper office recently, and after looking
around earnestly enough to elicit an inqui
ry as to his business, said : "It wasn't
nothin' much. but he had left a big cu
cumber here in the fall for a notice, and
thought, as how he was in town, he might
run in and get it if he was through with
it."
A Frenchman is an animated bottle of
champagne; a German is a meerschaum
with mein vaterland engraved upon it ; an
Irishman is a shilelah that wears the green;
an American is a jack-knife covered with
interrogation points; a Chinaman is a pig
tail that loves his native country and rats;
an Englishman is roast beef with the Duke
of Wellington at dinner.
A Detroit man bought a horse the other
day, and, not finding him all that the
jockey's fancy painted him, applied a dye
to the animal that made him a lovely black,
and resold him to the dealer. In about
two weeks the animal was resold to the
first purchaser, his appearance having un
dergone another change, and now Detroit
is interested to know which of the men
ought to sue the other.
A call has been issued for a national
convention of producers and consumer; of
the United States, to be held in New
York on the 6th of May next, to promote,
by co-operation, the interests of the produ
cers and consumers. Also, to consider
what can be done to reduce the cost of
transportation by railroad and water be
tween the west and the seaboard. The
Senate Committee on transportation routes
propose to be present in person or by del
egates.
NO. 18.
Mt &liars' gudget.
The Lawyers and the Cats.
Two Arkansas lawyers were domesticated
in the rude hotel of a country town. The
hotel was crowded, and the room allotted
to our heroes was also occupied by six or
eight others. Shake-down beds, enough
to accommodate the guests. were disposed
about the room. against the four walls,
leaving an open space in the centre of the
apartment.
Judge Clark lay with his head to the
north, on one side, and Judge Thomas lay
with his bead to the south on the other
side of the room. So far as that room was
concerned, it might be said that their heads
represented the north and south poles res
pectively.
All the other beds in the room were
occupied. The central part of the room
was deemed neutral ground, in which the
occupants of the different beds had equal
rights. Here, in picturesque confusion,
lay the boots, bats, coats, and breeches of
the sleepers. There were no windows, and
though the door was open, there being no
moon, the night was very dark in that
room.
The wily lawyers who bad been orposing
counsel in a case tried in the town court
that day, and bad opposed each other with
the contumacy of wild pigs, were not the
very incarnation of meekness, for when
the hungry mosquitoes settled down and
bit them on the one cheek they slowly
turned the other to be bitten also.
But hush ! hark!
A deep sound strikes tho ear like a rising
knell.
"Me-ow-ow !"
Judge Clark and Thomas were wide
awake, and sitting bolt upright in an in
stant.
Agdin the startling cry !
"Ye-ow-ow !"
"That's a cat !" whispered Clark.
"'Scat, you !" hissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to these demon
strations:but gave vent to another yowl !
"Oh, Lord f" cried Clark, "I can't stand
this ! Where is she, Thomas ?"
"On your side of the room somewhere."
replied Thomas.
"No, she's on your side." said Clark.
"Ye:ow-ow !"
"There, I told you she was on your
side," they both exclaimed in a breath.
And still the howl went en.
The idea now entered the heads of both
the lawyers, that by the exercise of a cer
tain strategy they might be enabled to ex
ecute a certain flank movement on the cat,
and totally demoralize him. Practically
each determined to file "a motion to quash"
the cat's attachment for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself, and in
the dark, unable to see each other, prepa
red for action.
Strange as it may appear, it is neverthe
less true, that the same plan suggested
itself to both. In words the plan would
be about as follows :
The yowler is evidently looking and
calling for another cat, with whom he has
made an appointment. I will imitatea
eat, and this cat will think tother cat's
around. This cat will come towards me,
and when he shall have arrived within
reach, I'll blaze away with anything I can
get bold of, and knock the mews-ic ont of
him.
So each of the portly judges, noiselessly
as cream comes to the surface of the milk,
hoisted himself onto his hands and knees,
and hippopotamus fashion advanced to the
neutral ground, occupied the centre of the
room.
Arriving there, Judge Clark selected a
boot jack, and Judge Thomas a heavy cow
hide boot, from the heap, and settled.them
selves down to the work
Clark tightened his grasp on the boot
jack, and throwing up his head, gave vent
to a prolonged and unearthly "ye-ow-ow"
that would have reflected credit upon ten
of the largest kind of cats.
"Aba," thought Thomas, who was not
six feet away, "be's immediately close
around. Now I'll inveigle him !" and be
gave the regular dark night call of a fem
inine cat.
Each of the judges advanced a little
closer, and Clark produced a questioning
"ow-ow !"
Thomas answered by a reassuring "per
ow-pur-ow !" and then advanced a little
more.
They were now in easy reach, and each
imagining the cat had but a moment more
to live, whaled away, the one with his boot
and the other with his boot jack.
The boot took Clark square in the
mouth, demolishing his teeth, and the boot
jack came down on Thomas' head just as
he was in the midst of a triumphant "ye
ow!"
When the lights were brought the cat
had disappeared, but the cat-astrophy was
in the opposite corners of the room, with
heels in the air, swearing blue streaks.
A RECENTLY married man in Franklin
county, Massachusetts, coming home rath
er late the other night, took an umbrella
from the rack in the hall and proceeded
to his room. The grieved and indignant
wife opened her eyes, and seein g her hus
band supporting himself by the footboard
with one hand, and holdinr , an umbrella
spread over his head with the other, cried
in astonishment:
'What are you doing? Areyou crazy 1"
"No," said he in an unsteady voice,
"but—hic—l supposed there'd be a storm
—hic—and so I've come prepared for it."
"WHERE are you going ?" said a young
gentleman to an elderly one in a white
cravat, whom he knew well, and overtook
a few miles from Little Rock. _ _
"I am going to heaven, my eon. I have
been on the way eighteen years."
"Well, good-bye, old fellow, if you have
been traveling towards heaven eighteen
years. and got no nearer to it than Arkan
sas, I'll take another route."
"Do yon see that gal over there ?" ask
ed a native Georgian of a traveler.
"Yes," was the reply.
"Well, she ain't twenty years old yet,
stranger, and that gal's raised a large fam
ily. Twan't her own, though. It was
her mother-in-law's, and she raised it with
a keg of gunpowder in the cellar."
A COCKNEY tourist met with a Scotch
lassie going barefoot toward Glasgow.
"Lassie," said he, "I should like to
know if ail people in this part go bare
footed ?" _
"Part of 'em de, and the rent of 'on
mind their own business," was the rather
startling reply.
A LITTLE girl, visiting Niagara with ber
father, and seeing the foam at the toot of
the falls, exclaimed : "Pa, how mach soap
it must take to make so many suds I"