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iltree Mon the
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ins square, or less 54 00 $6 00 $lO 00
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Professional and Business Cards not exceeding six lines
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stiy calculate a square In manuscript.
Advertisements not marked with the number of inser
tions desired, will be continued till forbid and charged as
cording to these terms.
Our prices for the printing of Blanks, Handbills, etc.
are reasonably low.
AGITA` DE MAGNOLIA
A toilet 'delight. Silia.rior to any cologne, wed to
bathe do taco and person, to reinter the akin soft and
(nob, to allay inflammation, to twain,o clothing, for
Itcailarbe, &c. It it manufactured Irvin the rich sontliern
Magnolia. and it obtaining aziatronage quite linprectalem
It in a favorite with actresses and opera singers. it
is sold by all dealers, at 4,„ 1,00 in largo bottles, and by De
nnis Barnes & Co., New York, Wholonalo Agents.
Saratoga Spring Wit', wild by all Druggiels.
S. T.-1860 - X.
Persona of sedentary habits troubled with weakness,
lasaitude, palpitation of the heart. lack of appetite,
t Tess after eating, torpid fever, constipation. deserra
to outer if they. will not try the celebrated PLANTATION
BITTERS. which ore now recommended by /110 highest
medical anthorities, and aro warranted to produce an im
am/Mir beneficial effect. They are excet•diugly agreeable,
perfectly pure, end must supersede all other tonics where
healthy, gentle stimulant is required.
They purify, strengthen and Invigorate,
They create a healthy appetite.
They are an antidote to change of water and dint.
They strengthen the system and enliven the nand.
The:, prevent miesmat - ic and intermittent fevers.
. _ .
Thei intrify the health and oddity of the stomach.
. .
The; Curebyspepsia and Constiiation.
They cure Liver Complaint and Nervous Headache.
They make the weak strong, the languid brilliant,
'and are exhannted nature's great restorer. They are
composed of tho celebrated Calisaya Bark, wintergreen,
sepielfran, roots and herbs, all preserved in perfectly pure
St. Croix ruin. For particulars, sea circulars nud testi
monials around each bottle.
Beware of impostors.• Examine every bottle. See that
'it has our private U. S. stamp 11111/111tilitted over the cork
With plantation scene, mut our signature on a fine Wei
plate !HO 111621. VP_ See that our bottle in not refill"!
with *parlous nod deleterious stuff. WAny person
pretending to sell Plantation Bitters by the gallon or in
bulk, is en Impostor. Any person imitating this bottle,
or gelling any other material therein, whether called
Plantation Bitters or not, is a criminal under the D. 8.
law, and will be so prosecuted by us. The demand for
Drake's Plantation Bitters, from ladies, clergymen, mer
chants, Ac., is incredible. Tim simple trial of a bottle ix
the evidence we present of their worth and superiority.
They are sold by all respectable druggistx,grocers, physi
cians, hotels, .loons, steamboats and country stores...
P. H. DRAKE & CO.
•
Sareinjo Spring Bitter, sold by all Druggists.
Have you c. hurt child or a hullo horse? Use the Max
ken Mustang Liniment.
For clan, sprains, burns, unveilings and caked breasts,
the Mexican Mustang Liniment is a certain cure.
For rheumatism, neuralgia, stiffjohits, stings and bites,
there in lathing like the Mexican Mustang Liniment.
For spavined horses, the pail evil, ringimito and sweeny,
the Mexican Mustang Liniment never fails.
For wind-galls, acratcLes, bighead and splint, the
Mexican Mustang Liniment is worth ita weight in gold.
(Juts, bruises, sprains and swellings, are so common
and certain to occur in every family, that a bottle of this
Liniment is the best investment that can be made.
It is more certain than the doctor—it saves time in
sending for the doctor—lt Ls cheaper than the doctor, and
tilloUlll never ho dispensed with.
"IC lining the kettle from the tire, it tipped over and
scalded toy hands terribly. • v • The Mustang Lini
ment extracted tho pain, caused the sore to heal rapidly,
nod left very little scar.
CHAS. FOSTER, 420 Broad street, Philada.
Mr. S. Lind], of Hyde Park - , Vt., writes: •"My horse was
,rmimidered worthlesin (spavin,) but since the use of the
Mustang Liniment, I have sold him for $l5O. Your Lim
Ainent.is doing wonders Op hero."
All genuine in wrapped in steel plate engvav sign
,rd, a W. IVindbrook, Chemist, and slm inns the private
it. A.-inamp of Demurs tissues & Co., over the iop.
d.olkelosely, and be not deceived by coutderfeas.
,Sold by all Druggists nt. 25, 50 cis, and $l,OO.
Saraftwo :print' hider, sold by all Druggists.
It is a most delightful flair Deeming.
It eradicates scurf and dandruff.
It keeps the head reed milli:lean. •
It makes the hair rich, soft and glossy.
It prevents the. hair turning gray and falling off.
It reetores hair upon prematurely bald heads.
This is just what Lyon's hatlatiron will do. It is pret
.l.y—it is cheap—dumbly, It in literally mid by tho car
load, mid yet its almost incredible demand indult). lucre.
ng, until there is hardly a country store that does not
Seep it, ur a fluidly that does not use it.
E. THOMAS LVON,Chemist, N. Y.
Earatava Erring haler, sold by all Druggists.
Who would not las - beantiful Who would not add to
heir beauty? What glees that marble purity and dia.
Sing ut appearance we ObiierTO open the stage and in the
city belle? It is no longer a secret. They use flagan's
Magnolia rilm. Its continued nao removes tan, freckles,
pimples, and rougher., from the hum and hands, and
leaves the complexion smooth, transparent, blooming um'
ravishing. Unlike many cosmetics, it contains no mate
rial injurious to the skin. Any broggist will order it for
you, if not on hand, at 60 cents per bottle.
• - W. E. IIAtiAN, Troy, N. T. Chemist.
Demas Barnes & Co., Wholesale Agents,N. Y
Saratoga Spring Water, mold by all I;ruggiete
inintitablo Hair Coloring is not a dye. All
iustantamws dyes aro composed of lunar caustic ' and
morn or less destroy the vitality and beauty or the hair.
This is nine original Hair Coloring, and has been growing
is favor oven twenty years. it restores gray hair to its
..riginal color I y gradual absorption, iu o most remarka
ble manner. It in also a brantirol liair dressing. bold in
two E 17.03--60 cents end sl—by all dealers. '
C. 11EIMSTREET, Chemist,
Saratcga Spring Mao) sold by allinruggiste.
MON'S Egritact of Nam Jaliarca Glsnan—for Indigos-
Nansaa, Heartburn, Sick Headerlio, Cholera Mortms,
Flatulency, Ac., where a warming stimulant in required.
Its careful preparation and entire purity make it a cheap
and reliable article for culinary purposes. Sold every
where, at 50 cents per bottle. Aek for "Laos's" Pure Ex,
tract. Take no other.
Saratoga Spring Histsr, sold by nil Druggists
jnlyll, 1866-nowly
va..All the abore articles fur sale by B. S. SMPfH,
iluntingdon, ['et:Kra.' -
ALEXANDRIA BREWERY.
THOMAS N. COLDER.
The undersigned having now entered into the
mdrilrr:w"4th: public or
e l"forme lite.leprurlnt ell tines toßl
orders on the shortest notice.
TllO9. N. COLDER.
Alexandria, Oct. _3.1866—1f.
All kinds of Spices for oalo at Leiria' Family OraScr ',
TROPIC COOK STOVES, G as Burn
ing parlor Store., and all kinds of hollow wOOO at
u 1,7 S. E. lIENRY CO.
COFFEES, SUGARS AND TEAS,
ALL THE CHOICE KINDS FOR SALE
Lewis' Family Grocery.
42 00
. 1 00
WILLIAM LEWIS, Editor and Proprietor.
VOL XXII.
E4t 61crbt,
HUNTINGDON, PA.
Wo find in an exchange the following
clever poem, written by n gentleman of El
mira, N.Y. It is called "In a Coal Mine"
and is a mine of puns. In fact the double
entendres are so thick that the hasty reader
will miss more than the half of them:
A car full of careless ones,—
Th e day was ours to spare,—
As students we did seek a mine
To ace cord laborers there.
Wo found the place—'twos miles away
To west and then by south ;
And though was ours a joyous mood,
We looked down in the mouth
Of that dark cavern an' though the Night
By courage wero not fitted,
To plunge away beyond the light,
We felt we should be pitied.
But on we went and thoughts of ill
Flow off while we wore tlyin',
And each one from a car•edge cried
Behold all this is mine I
Not only pleasure did we lope
To find for us in store,
We sought as well a higher path,
To got a little lore.
We found a pencil vain—l atato
What no ono will deny—for
Although there was no lack of slate,
'Twas nota placo to sigh for.
The star lamps gleamed before our eyes—
What constellation finer—
Though borne by many a bearish chap
Who was no worse a miner.
And so we studied e'er the mine
While bright ideas budded,
And when we turned away we know
The mine was much ore•studded.
And when we saw daylight ngain
Delight did us unfold,
Although we found each one bad got
A very little coaled.
For we were glad that no mishap
To Borrow had been doomin' us,
And that no wayward mass of coal
Had sealed our fate by toombin' us
THE STEAMBOAT RACE.
=0
wo are aboard of the Southern
Republic, the last bell has sounded,
the last belated trunk has been trun
dled over the plank, and we are off,
the calliope screaming Dixie like ten
thousand devils, and the crowds on the
bank waving us bon voyage.
The main saloon of the boat was a
spacious apartment, a hundred feet
long by thirty in breadth, gorgeously
decorated with modern paint, and
brilliantly lighted. The galleries lead
ing to the state rooms, rising tier upon
tier, ran entirely around it, while above
them a skylight of tinted glass shed a
soft, warm light.
There are offices, card rooms, bar
rooms, barber shops, and even faro
banks, aboard of all these boats; and
as the down trip occupies from forty
eight to seventy hours—according to
the stage of the river, and the luck of
running aground, a porformanco to be
expected at least once in each trip—wo
come quite a mutual amusement com
munity by the time it is over.
This trip the boat was very crowd
ed, and at supper the effect of the lino
of small tables, filled with officers in
uniform, ladies tastefully dressed, and
a sprinklinr , ' of homespun coats--all
reflected inthelong mirror—was very
bright and gay. After meals there is
generally a promenade on the upper
dock—sans souci- = ,whoro people talk,
smoke, inspect each other and flirt.—
Then they adjourn to state room, sa
loon or card room, or read to kill Limo,
for tho Alabama is anything but a pic
turesque stream, with its low, marshy
banks, only varied by occasional 'slides'
and- negro quarters.
This night was splendidly clear, the
moon bright as day ; and Styles and 1,
after seeing the "Colonel" well tucked
in staled on deck to scrape acquain
tance with the pilot, and the small
seedy Frenchman, who officiated at
the calliope. Ile was an original in
his way—"the Professor"—with his
head like a bullet, garnished with hair
of the most wiry blackness, cut as
close as tho scissors could hold it, look
ing like the most uncompromising por
cupine. Of course, he was a political
refugee.
"Dixie ! Airc, nationale ! Pas bon
chose !" ho exclaimed, seating himself
at his instrument, and twirling a huge
moustache. "Voila la Atarsellais !
Zat make good national hymn for
you!" and ho made the whistle roar
and shriek in a way to have sent the
red caps into the air, a hundred miles
away.
"Grand ! splendid !" roared Styles
above the steam, "Why, Professor,
you're a genius. Como and take some
brandy."
The Professor banged down his in
strument, led the way instanter down
to our state room, and once there, did
take something, and then something
else, and finally some more, till ho got
very thick-tongued and enthusiastic.
"Grand niro of zo Liberto! he cried
at last, mounting again to his porch
by tbo smokestack. "Song composed
by me fey one grilici r i iltn-Lzo Van
Dorn. I make this and dedichte . 'to
him and ho banged away at the key
till"ho tortured the steam into the
"Liberty Duetto" from Puritani.
"How you 'find zat, oh ? Zat makes
zo hymn for souse. Me, I am a re
publicain ! Viola ! I wear ze mustache
ofzo revolutiouisto—my hairs aro cut
en mencontent. Were zero coloro more
rod as red, I N\7l4llld be zat !" and thu
Professor was so struck with the bril
liancy of his idea, that ho played the
air again and again, till it rang like a
phantom chorus over the still planta
tions. At last ho was overcome by
emotion and brandy, slid from the
stool and sank at the foot of the smoke
stack, muttering : "Zat is zo hymn—
hic—dedicate to zo General and zo—
hie—country," and then ho slept tho
sloop of the just conscience.
"Thar's the Senator, and she's gain
ing on we," said the pilot, as wo walk
ed forward, pointing to a thin column
of smoke rising out of the trees just
abreast of us.
"How far astern ?" •
"A matter of about two miles around
that point."
"Splendid !light for a race," mutter
ed Styles.
"Will she overtake us, Captain ?"
"Wall, maibe 1" replied the old river
dog, while the most professional grin
shot over his hard, wooden features—
'Specially of I ease up this 'ar old gal."
"Ha, Jones! Now we'll have it.—
We won't turn in, now," chuckled
Styles, banging moon the back.
Almost imperceptibly our speed
slackened, and the thin, dark column
crept nearer and nearer round the
trees, on the point in our wake, till at
last the steamer bursts into sight, not
a pistol short astern.
There is a sharp click of the pilot's
bell, a gasping throb, as if our boat
took a deep, long breath, and just as
the Senator makes our wheel, we dash
ed on again, with every stroke of the
piston threatening to rack our frail fa
bric into shreds.
The river here is pretty wide and
the channel deep and clear. The Sen
ator pulls ahead in gallant style, now
gaining our quarter, now a boat's
length astern—both engines roaring
and snorting like angry hippopotami,
and both vessels rocking and straining
till they seem to paw their way thro'
the churned water. Talk of horse
'racing and rouge et noir ! But, except
the wild delirium of a cavalry charge
—as described by those who have boon
in one-4here is no excitement that
can approach boat racing on the Sou
thern rivers. One by one the people
pop up ladders and throng the hurri
cane deck and the rails. First, the
unemployed deck bands; then a stray
gentleman or two, and finally ladies
and children, till tho rail is full and ev
ery eye is anxiously strained to tho
opposite boat.
She holds her own wonderfully well
considering the reputation of ours; and
at each burst, when she seemed to gain
on us the whole crowd hold their
breath, and as she drops oll'again,there
is a deep-drawn, gasping sigh of relief,
like winds in the pines. Even "the
Colonel" has roused himself from
dreams of turtle at the St. Charles,
and red fish at Pensacola, and has
come on deck in a shooting jacket and
glengary cap, that makes him look like
jaunty Foseo. He leans over that stern
rail, puffing his Habana in long easy
whifiS as wo gain a length, or sending
out short, angry r uffs at the "Senator"
as she creeps up on us.
Foot by foot wo gain steadily until
the gap is widened to three or four
boat lengths, though the "Senator"
piles her fires till the shores behind
her, on each side, glow from their re
flection, and her decks, now black with
anxious lookers on, send up cheer after
cheer as she snorts defiantly after us.
Suddenly the bank seems to loom up
right under our larboard bow
We have cut it too close
Two sharp, vicious clinics of the
Our holm goes hard down, and the en
gines stop with a sullen jar, and I
catch a hissing curse break through the
set teeth of the pilot.
A yell of wild triumph rises from the
"Senator's" deck ! On she cotnos in
gallant style, shutting the gap and
passing us like a race-horso, before we
can swing into the channel and recov
er headway. It is a splendid sight as
tho noble boat passes us, her black
hulk standing out in the clear moon
light, against the dim, gray banks like
a living monster, and her great chim
neys snorting out volumes of massive
black smoke that, trails our flat behind
her from her great sweep. tier side
towards us is crowded with men, wo
man and children; and hats, handker
chiefs and hands aro swung madly
about, to aid the effort of the hundred
voices.
Close down to the water's edge--
scarce above the lino of the loath she
cuts—her lower deck lies black and un
defined in the shadow of tho great
mass above it.
Suddenly it lights up with a lurid
flash as the furnace doors aro thrown
wide open, and in tho hot glare the
negro stokers—their stalwart, forms
jetty black, naked to the waist and
steaming with the oxortion, that
makes the muscle strain out P:e cords
—show like the distorted imps of some
pictured inferno. They, too, have im
bibed the excitement, and with every
gestate of anxious haste, and eyeballs
starting from their dusky beads, some
plunge the long rakes into the rod
mouths of the furnace, twisting and
turning the crackling (MISS with terrific
strength, while others hurl in the huge
logs of resinous pine, already heated
by the contact, till they would burn
like pitch. Then the great doors bang
too, the yo ! yo Vol the negroes dies
away, and the whole hull is blacker
front the contrast, while the Senator,
puffing denser clouds than over, swings
r . oUnd the point n hundred yards
ahead!
There is a dead silence cm our boat,
so deep that the rough whisper of the
pilot to the knot around him is heard
the whole length of the deck, "damna
tion ! but i'll overstep her y it, or bust!"
"Good,old fellow !" responded Styles
—"lot her out, aud stand the' wince'
The❑ the "olilColonel" walks to the
wheel, with hin hie° purple, his glen-
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 5. 1866.
-PERSEVERE.-
gary pushed far back on his head, and
his cigar glowing like the "rod eye of
battle," as ho puffs angry wheezes of
smoke through his nostrils. "Damned
hard, sir—hard ! hard ! Egad ! I'd
burn the last ham in the locker to over
take her," and he whirled the glowing
stump often the "Senator," as the Spar
tan youth hurled the shields into the
thick of battle, before rushing to re
claim them. On we speed, until the
trees on the bank seem to fly back
past us, and round the point to see the
"Senator" just turning another curve!
Ou still, faster than ever, with every
glass on board jingling in its frame, and
every joint and timber trembling, as
with a congestive chill !
Still the black demons below ply
their fires with the fattest logs—and
even a few barrels of pitch are slily
slipped in,the smoke behind us stretch
ed straight and flat from the smoke.
stack. •
Now we enter a straight, narrow
reach, with the "Senator" just before
us. Faster and faster wo go, till the
boat fairly rocks and swings from side
to side, half lifted with every throb of
the engine. Closer and closer we creep
—harder and harder thump the cylin
ders—until at last we close, our bow
just lapping her stern I
So we run a few yards. Little by
little; so little that wo test it by count
ing her windows ; we roach her wheel
—pass by it—lock her bow and run
neck to neck for a hundred feet.
The stillness of death is upon both
boats; not It sound but the creak and
shudder as they struggle on. Sudden
ly the hard voice of our pilot crashes
through it like a broadaxe :
"Good bye, Senator ! send ycr a
tug!" and lie gives the boll a merry click.
Our huge boat gives one shuddering
throb that racks her from end to end;
ono plunge, and then she settles into a
steady rush, and forges rapidly and
evenly ahead. Wider and wider
grows the gap; and we wind out of
sight with the beaten boat five hun
dred yards behind us.
The cigar I took from my mouth to
make way for the deep, long sigh, is
chewed to a perfect pulp. A wild,
pent up yell of half savage triumph
goes up front the crowded dock, such
as is heard nowhere else but where
the captured work rewards the bloody
and oft repeated charge. Cheer after
cheer follows; and, as wo approach the
thin column of smoke, curling over the
trees between us ; Styles - betrides the
prostrate form of the still steeping
Professor, and makes the calliope yell
and shriek that classic ditty, "Old
Gray Horse come out of the Wilder
ness !" at the invisible rival.
I doubt if heartier toast was ever
drunk than the "Colonel" gave the
group around the wheel house, when
Styles "stood" the wino plighted the
pilot. The "Colonel" was beaming,
the glengary sot jauntily on ono side,
and his voice actually gurgled' as ho
said :
"Egad ! I'd miss my dinner for a
week for this, gentlemen, a toast !
Here's to the old boat! God bless her
soul !"
AHEAD OF EVERYTIIING.-1. See there
is a fellow who culls him self a doc
tor, and who publishes a "Jour
nal of Health," in which ho gives
a good many ridiculous rules ho says
will preserve tho health. I haven't
much confidence in this fellow, for he
is a doctor, and it is naturally against
his interest to publish rules that will
keep people healthy. I believe he has
designs on the community, and only
wants to shatter and break up their
constitutions. That's the lay he's on,
in my opinion. As for his rules, I can
boat them myself, if I try, and I here
with do so. If these aro accurately
followed, they will do as much good as
the old man's any time.
Ist. Never hang yourself out of an
open window when you go to bed at
night. The attraction of gravitation
is always powerful during the noctur
nal hours, and may draw you violently
against the ground, and tear your
night-shirt.
2d. In cold weather, always wear
thick warm clothing about; your body.
If yoa.haven't money enough to buy
it, attend :au inextinguishable con
flagration in tho vicinity of a first-class
clothing shop.
3d. If you 'wear spectacles, avoid
goin. , b into any fireman's riots that
maybe transpiring. The reason for
this is, that in addition to having your
feelings hurt by being called "a four
eyed old piece of shocking prolanity,"
you will very likely be "sluiced over
the god," and get more glass in your
eye than any precious "bully boy"
ever enjoyed.
4th. If you are quite a small:baby,
be careful that there are no pins in
your clothes, and always take a drink
of milk punch out of a bottle with a
sum thing on the nozzle, before you got
into your cradlo.
sth. In eating raw oysters, always
peel the shells off before swallowing.
The shells aro indigestible, and are apt
to lay heavy on the stomach.
6th. Never sleoplmore than nine in a
bed, even at a country hotel where a
political convention is being hold. It
is apt to produce nightmare if any of
the party kick in their sleep. This is
especially the case when they go to
bed with their boots on.
jth. Abstain entirely from - alcoholic
'Ttcbest way to do is to join
a temperance society.
Bth. Never travel on railroad trains.
Many persons have died quite unex
pectedly by this imprudence,
I don't say tlmt fellows who follows
these instructions will never die and
let their friends enjoy a ride in the
cemetery, but' you won't get cholithi
off in rho bloom of your yeah and
beauty.
By tho way, isn't it odd that as soon,
as'cloath ' ovortakos us, a man under ,
takes 1).8 ? • ' • .
•
I: ( Z r
~ . )1i: ‘
• I • V N 111 i';` . t ,•,...
s' '' '' '•' .‘e-
' ......' '. : ,/"C".:1• .11;li,:. ;T : 4 .
R • 1
• #
Female Dress.
This subject is vitally import Ont—
. it, diet, exercise and baths sink
into insignificance. My pale face
countrywomen are dying for lack of
room, freedom; they aro being testi
fied. Dress reforms proclaim short
skirts us the remedy. This is
The short skirt is an improvement-,-a
movement upward, but of no conse
quence compared with the readjust
ment of the dress about the middle of
the body. That part contains tho vi
tal and procreative organs. Is a man
strong? it is because the middle of the
body is strong. Is a woman vigorous?
it is because the middle of the body is
developed and active.
The changes needed in woman's
dress aro the following, and I belieiro
their importance is in the order named:
1. The dress about the waist is to
bo very loose, without whalebones or
other stiffening, and the skirts carried
with suspenders over the shoulders.
2. Tho arms and legs are to be so
warmly dressed as to maintain healthy
circulation.
3. The skirts to fall to the knees.
I have said that the importance of
these several changes is in the order
named. The lungs, heart, liver and
stomach, which together make up the
the fountain of life, must have room,
or the vital forces must halt. With
the corset and tight-lacing, these or
gans aro reduced one-third in size and
two-thirds in motion.
_Health and equilibrium of circulation
aro interchangeable terms. Whoever,
whatever living •thing, either animal
or vegetable, has defective circulation
has defective health. Flannels, cotton
padding, thick shawls, cloaks and furs
piled upon the chest, while the legs are
covered with a single thickness of cot
ton cloth surrounded by a balloon in
the shape of a hoop, steams the chest
and freezes the logs. The legs and
arms, separated so far from the center
of the body, surrounded by tho cold
air, need, to say the least, as• much
Clothing as the body, and ought to
have on ono, or, in cold weather in
this climate, two thicknesses of knit
woolen. Women complain to mo of
headache, tell me their blood is all in
their head and chest, while their• feet
are as cold as ice. With the fltshionas
ble dross,.how out it be otherwise ?
Let them cover the limbs with ono or
two thicknesses of warm flannel, and
the foot a warm dross, and the head
and chest will be immediately relieved.
—Dio Lewis, M. D.
How to Cook a Husband.
Many of our married lady readers
aro not aware how a husband ought
to be cooked, so as to make a good
diet of him. We saw lately a recipe
in an English newspaper, contributed
by one "Mary," which points out the
modus operandi of preparing and cook
ing husbands. "Mary" says that a
good many husbands aro spoiled in
cooking. &tome women go about it as
if their lords were bladders, and "blow
them up." Others keep thorn constant
ly in "hot water ;" while others, again,
freeze diem by conjugal ,coldness.
Some smother thorn in hatred, conten
tion and variance, and some keep them
in pickle all their lives. Those women
always servo them with "tongue sauce."
New it cannot be supposed that hus
bands will be "tender and good," man
aged in this way; but they are, on the
contrary, "quite delicious" when "well
preserved." "Mary" points out the
manner as follows : "Get a large jar,
called the jar of carefulness, (which, by
the by, all good wives have on band.)
Being placed in it, set him by the fire
of conjugal love; let the fire be pretty
hot, but especially let it be clear.
Above all, let the heat be regular and
constant. Cover him well over with
equal quantities of affection, kindness
and subjection. Keep plenty of these
things by you, and be very attentive
to supply the place of any that may
waste by evaporation, or any other
cause. Garnish with modest, becom
ing familiarity and innocent pleasan
try; but if you add kisses or other con
fectionery, accompany them with a suf
ficient portion of secrecy, and it would
not he amiss to add a little prudence
and moderation."
"DEAR."--In an exchange wo find
the following little bill, purporting to
be the expenditure of a young man
upon the object of his especial admira
tion for the space of one month ,
Note paper,
Livery hire,
Oyster bills,
Pea nuts,
Candy kisses,, '',... 1 25
Kisses that wasn't candy, 00
Fancy fan, 2 00
Case perfumery, 5 00
Hiring boy to carry notes, 85
Curling hair and dieing moustache, 93
Doctoring headache, 9 25
Attending concerts., shows, dances, festi
vals, mites, etc., 27 00
Etceteras, 3 15
And An tie forth;
•
Accompanying tho above is tho
statement thVit the young man afore•
said has abjured the female sex in toto,
with divers comments thereupon by
the editor, apprehato.ry of his qecision.
The Cleveland Leader enters an em
phatic protest against such sentiments.
It says that at least half of the above
amount went for the benefit of the
young man himself, leaving but
$74,471. with which the laqy should be
debited. if tho sixth item in the bill
isn't worth that sun% per Month, we
are no judge. It is an error to place on
that bill. It ought to Appear on the
credit side, hnd like charity, "cover a
multitude or—expenses.
Xie: - .lloasting is. Sometimes out of
place. llrulVaard one man boast of be=
lug a bachelor as his lather was before
him.
TERMS, $2,00 a year in advance.
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS
[Under this head we give opinions of load
ing journals, that our renders may 6eo more
than ono side of a question.]
[From the New York Herald.]
Restoration by One Plan or Another
the National Necessity.
Restoration of tho Southern States
without delay is necessary both in a
political point of view and for the ma
terial interests of the country. If it
cannot be brought about in ono way,it
must in another. Tho politicians may
wish to keep tho
.question open for
party or political purposes, but the
mass of the people do not—they want
it eolsed up. Tho continued exclusion
of so largo and such an important part
of the country from restoration and
representation at Washington has po
litical danger in it, is a great strain up
on our institutions and form of gov
ernment, and is calculated to paralyze
the productivo power of the South as
well as the commercial and material
interests of the North. There is,in truth
great clangor every way in such an
anomalous and unnatural state of
things. Wo must have prompt resto
ration at any cost and by all means—
not two, three, or more years hence,
not after the next Presidential election
but, if possible, beforo the term of the
present Congress shall expire next
March..
We have seen in history that the
richest, and fairest portion of the earth
may become a wilderness under para
lyzing political circumstances. The
South, with all its natural resources,
might become•so. In all probability
the productions of that section of the
country, which have been declining
very much since the war,would become
less next year, still less the year after,
and so on till general ruin would fol
low, if restoration be delayed. All the
best portion of the population that
could get away would leave; ambition
which is the great incentive to indus
try and action, would get destroyed ;
and capital would turn aside from a
country so situated. Shall we. suffer
this part of our territory, richer and
with more varied productions than
India, to be thus destroyed ? Shall wo
jeopardize our free republican institu
tions by keeping half the continent
and nearly a third of the population
in an unrepresented condition, and un
der despotic rule ? No statesman or
patriot, nor any one who has studied
history to advantage, would wish to
soo such a state of things.
Taking it for granted, then, that the
mass of our citizens—that the people
of the North—earnestly desire a spee
dy restoration of tho South to its for
mer relations in the Union, the ques
tion arises, How is this to bo accom
plished 7
Wo hoped, therefore, that the Con
stitutional amendmentkmight be adop
ted; and thus settle. the matter. The
people of the North declared in the re
cent elections that to be the plan of
settlement. It would'have been a safe
ready, and easy mode of restoration.
But it does not appear that this can be
carried through. Three fourths of the
States must adopt the amendment be
fore it can become a part of the Con
stitution. All the Southern States re
fuse to adopt it, and therefore the over
whelming popular
. majority in the
Northern States in its favor is render
ed powerless. It is even doubtful if a
Sufficient number of new States • could
be erected to carry tho amendment
while the South holds out. Besides the
attempt to overrule the South in this
way would cause great delay, which,
as we have said, would bo highly inju
rious and dangerous.-
What, thou, can bo done ? Clearly
this :—lf the South will not accept
restoration ou the terms offered
through the Constitutional amendment
restoration ought to be forced npou
them in some other way by Congress.
This seems to us the only alternative.
Tho interests of the North—of the
whole country—yes, the interests of
tho South as well as of the North—
demand it. It is folly to talk of the
rights of the Southern States. We are
in a quasi state of war ; the war is not
Closed up while the States remain un-,
restored, and they are completely Un
der the power and at the mercy of the
North. The will of the Northern peo
ple, and consequently that of Con
gress, as representing the Northern
people, is the absolute law in the case.
The South has-placed itself in its pres
ent excluded situation and must bear
the consequences. All appeals to for
mer Constitutional rights are useless,
if even a strict technical interpreta
tion of the Constitution might seem to
favor them, because the war power—
the power of the conqueror over the
conquered, is superior to everything
else. We may regret that restoration
has not been brought about or could
not be reached under other circum
stances ; but that, is not the question
now; we haye to deal with facts; we
liavelo take things as they are and
make the most of them.
Under all the circumstances we con
clude, therefore, that it is bestfor Con
gross, as soon as it shall assemble, to
legislate for tho entire and complete
reconstruction of the Southern States.
The President has tried his plan, from
the best motive,doubtless,and it has fail
ed. The people have not accepted it.
Now lot Congress begin anew at the
loaridation. Let an act granting uni
versal amnesty and universal 'saffra , ro
be passed under the war p e wee: Let
the Solithern States be immediately re-
Constructed 'on thin basis. Lot the
whole machinery ofgAernment spring
into, action upon it, and then lot the
mei:Mors and Senators from every
Southern '4tatb lin forthwith admitted
to CongresS. This'would be practical,
early, and complete'idStoration. Our
political troubles would be at an end.
G 292
G 7 13
22 11
Sib 05
1 1 1 1-IE,
JOB PRINTING OFFICE..
Tll""GLOBE JOll oFFlcipm
ch. most complete of nnr in the country, Sod pet ,
eon% tit}. Most nnTle facilities for promptly oxecutlng ih
tlw best etylq pvory of JAPI, "'.
HAND BILLS, • -
•
CIRCULARS,
BILL READS,
WARDS,
NO. 23.
CALL AND EXAMINE EPSCIMENB OF *MK,
LEWIS' BOOR, STATIONERY k IMMO MAW
As far 118 tho South is concerned, that
suction would havo a larger number of
members in Congress than ever. It
would control the negro vote for years;
and in time to come the whito popula
tion would grow so largely over the
negro that there would be no danger
from negro suffrage. The most levell
ing radicals of the North would be dis
armed in their hostility,: and, the cause
of trouble being removed, wo should
have peace. This is, wo boliovo, the
most logical, safe, and prompt method
of restoration under the circumstances.
Wo hope Congresswilhadoot_it—and •
lot us havo a throughly restored Uni t ee
before next, March. It will save • the
South, and give universal prosper4y
to the whole country.
An informal meeting of the friends
of equal rights was held in Philadel,
phia last week, to consider the expedi
ency of forming an Equal Rights
sociation for the State of Pennsylvania.
Mrs. Mott said she did not think 4
necessary to have any particular or._
der, or to appoint a chairman,
but to,
confer freely together, which sngges-,
tion was concurred in by those pres
ent.
Susan B. Anthony said wo aro riot
only to make sure of the republican
idea so far as the equality of races is
concerned, but also to secure the equal
ity of individuals throughout the re
public. In other words, the real repub
lican idea is the equality of individn
ale. Our convention in Albany was
the first which we have held since our
organization in May, and it was for
the specific purpose of inaugurating . a
canvas of the State of Now York, in
view of the pending Constitutional
Convention which is to be held next
summer, and our plan of canvassing is
to hold convontions and lectures and
meetings throughout the entire State,
to socuro the organization of Equal.
Rights Clubs and Committees in every
city and village and school district of
the Stato, and whose business shall 'All
to secure the circulation of tracts, and
tall lecturers to instruct them on thiik
question. Beginning in New York
city on the 6th or 7th of December,
with our first convention, we expect
to commence there, going into Brook:
lyn and then to all the principal citiss
of the State. We propose petitipping
the Legislature of the tat, asking
them to sot the qualifications of voters
so as to secure the ballot to all colored .
men and women and white women, on,
equal terms. We want to secure the,
equality of all, white and black, and
wo want the women of every state to,
inaugurate a movement—to canvass,
their own State—men or women who,
believe in equal- rights--progisely aQ
wo aro doing in Now York. That is
what we ask, and it is what I would'
like to see, the friends bore this mop,-
ing make this a committee to call the
people of P,hiladolphia together, or of
Pennsylvania, to call a State meeting
and inaugurate a Pennsylvania Equal
Rights Association, which shall make
its principal object the agitation of the
right of ballot to all mon and all wco e
men, on equal terms, without mart%
to color; because to-day, if wo go for,
ward and secure the ballot only to the
black man, as it seems the only way
that it will be secured. It is to be done .
by compromise, that is, the Republi,-
cans are going to make a Constitution
al amendment, and guarantee to the,
black mah the right to vote on equal,
terms with the white man, perhaps in
serting the word "male" in tho Con
stitution, which debars women; and
wo have no right to sit still and see it
done.
Mrs. Mott said it was incumbent
upon those assembled, additionally
now, to make an effort to scours: tw,
ballot for women.
The question of tho riglAt, of wctoro
to suffrage was then discussed.
A motion to appoint a cosamittoo to,
call a public meeting toconeiderthe ex
pediency of forming an" association
was carried unanimously. A commit
tee was then appointed, consisting of
the following gentlemen :--Siirah Pugh;
Lucretia Mott, Robert, Purvis, Ellen"
Childs, Abby Kimber, Alfred 11. Love.
After appointing a Finance Commit-:
tee to collect funds for the meeting,
which is to he halci some time in Jaunt :
ary next, the meeting adjourned.
A SINGULAR AND FATAL ACCIDENT.---...
Sidney Tompkins, a wealthy farmer ,
of Stillwater, Washington county, of
with his death on the morning of tho
16th in a very singular manner. Up
on visiting his cattle-yard, he discov
end that ono of his cows was in groat
distress in consegnenco of the lodg:,
mont of a potato in its throat. Mr,
Tompkins undertook to relieve tho
imal, and for this purpose thrust hie
arm partially down the mouth and,
throat. While standing over the heal
of the animal, the cow in its agony
pressed its head downward, and 'sud
denly elevating it again, caught MC
T. upon its horns,throwing him several
feet into the air. In his descent he
struck upon tho paling of.a fence, ono
of which entered his neck, severing
ono of the arteries, from which ho bled
to death in y few rapmptil:‘
De— At the recent Sunday sehooi
Convention at Utica, New, Yofrk,' one
delogato protested agnibst ball playing
as morally injurious. Shortly thore- -
rObuko .was couvey,d l
to him by a son-in-law of ere r
Rev Mr. Scoville, of Norwielf i 'Vw:
York who rose and said : ‘!'t regret
that I cannot longer remain- in the
Convention, but our club ar.d the Mil
boys have a match game on t4q tapir, ,
and I must go. We licked thop boy%
a!nd. we 'can do it, again." •
WoAT to do, with tho national
—Way° it v. (411. • la .
MI
ki
51
VPATPA 3, .
BALL TICKETS,
PROGRAMMES,
BLANKS,
LABELS, &C., &C., AC
Equal Rights.