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808 ANDERSON, TICE BOLO.
(Air-JOIN ANDERSON.)
Bob Andenton, a bold boy—,
No bolder in tho loud
Woe sent to guard lilt country's flag
Agalu.tt a rebel baud.
3toultria's walls he found not
Probation from tho foo,
And so, said ho, to Sumter proud,
This very night we'll go,
So Anderson, tho bold boy,
When darkness hid the bay,
Spiked all his guns and silently
To Sumter sped away,
As Perry left the Lawrence,
But raised his gag once more,
44, Anderson's more proudly waves
O'er Sumter than before.
330 b Anderson, the bold, 811311,
Now, Treason do your worst ;
glo gnus of Sumtsr guard the flog
From ever• bond accursed."
Tim baffled, mad seceders
Discover that they're sold;
The gag they dread, is guarded by
Rob Anderson, the bold.
Bob Anderson, tbo bold boy,
Deserves the nation's thanks:
Ho knows and does his duty well,
Despite rebellion's prank%
ST"e 11 give three cheers fur Union,
Our conntry's Aug ten fold,
And three tines three we'll give to thee,
Dab Anderson, the bold I
'YANKEE AMONG ARISTOCRATS,
Not many years ago it happened
that a young man from New York vis
ited London. His father being con
nected with several of the magnates of
the British aristocracy, the young
American was introduced to the thsh
ionable circles of the metropolis, where,
in consequence of his very fine person
al appearance, or that his father was
reported to be very rich, or that he
was a new figure on the stage, he at
tracted much attention, and became
quite the favorite of the ladies. This
was not at all relished by the British
beaux, but as no very fair pretext of
fered as a rebuff, they were compelled
to treat him civilly. Thus matters
stood when Hon. M. P. and lady made
a party to accompany them to their
country-seat in Cambridgeshire, and
the American was among the invited
guests. Numerous were the devices
to which these devotees of pleasure
resorted, in order to kill that old fellow
who will measure his hours, when he
ought to know they are not wanted,
and the ingenuity of every one taxed
to remember or invent something novel.
The Yankees are proverbially ready
of invention, and the American did ,
:111111TI — CO - nix etc Ututer-as-a-nrart-zrcurrs
touted to freedom of thought. He was
frank and gay, and entered into the
sports and amusements with that un
affected enjoyment which communica
ted a part of his fresh feelings to the
most worn-out fashionables in the par
ty. His good nature would have been
sneered at by some of the proud cava
liers had he not been such a capital
shot, and he might have been quizzed
had not the ladies, won by his respect
fl and pleasant civilities, and his con
stant attentions in drawing-room and
saloons, always showed themselves his
friends. But a strong combination
was at last formed among a trio of
dandies to annihilate the American.—
They proposed to vary the eternal
waltzing and piping by the acting of
charades and playing at various games,
and having interested one of those in
defatigable ladies who always carry
their point it a scheme, it was voted
to be the thing.
After some charades had been dis
posed of, a gentleman begged leave to
propose the game called " Crowning
the Wisest." This is played by select
ing a judge of the game, and three
persons, either ladies or gentlemen,
who are to contest for the crown by
answering successively the various
questions which the rest of the party
are at liberty to ask. The one who is
declared to have been the readiest and
happiest in his answers receives the
crown.
Our American, much against his incli
nation, was chosen among the three can.
didates. He was aware that his posi
Lion in the society with which he was
mingling, required of him the ability
to sustain himself. He was, to be sure,
treated with distinguished attention
by his host and hostess, and generally
by the party, but this was a favor to
the individual, and not one of the com
pany understood the character of re
publicans or appreciated the republic.
The three worthies had arranged that
their turn for him should fall in sue
possion, and he he the last. The first
one, a perfect exquisite, and with an
iiir of most ineffable condescension ; put
7-. his question:
"If I understand rightly the govern
pent of 3-our country, you acknowl
„edge no distinction of rank, consequent
ly you have no court standard for the
planners of a gentleman ; will you
favor me with information where your
best school of politeness is to be found?”
For your benefit," replied the
American smiling calmly. u I would
- recommend the Falls of Niagara ;
contemplation of that stupendous won
der -teaches humility to the proudest,
and human nothingness to the vainest.
It rebukes the trifler, and arouses the
most stupid ; in short, it turns men
from their idols, and when we acknowl-
Op- that God only is Lord, we feel
that men aro our equals. .4.wftrue
chiistian is always polite."
There was a murmur amongst the
audience, whether of applause or cen
sure, the American could not deter
mine, as he did not choose to betray
any anxiety - for the result by a scrutiny
of the faces which he knew were bent
on him.
Tim second now proposed his ques
tion. He affected to be a great politi
cian, was moustached and whiskered
like a diplomatist. which station ho bad
been coveting. His voice was bland,
lint his emphasis was very significant:
" Should I visit the "United States,
.$1 50
16 00
• 0 00.
.24 00
.50 00
" wr II CATTW ,
o
VOL. XVI.
what subject with which I am conver
sant would most interest your people
and give me an opportunity of enjoy
ing their conversation ?"
" You must maintain there as you
do at present, that a monarchy is the
wisest, the purest, and the best govern
ment which the skill of man ever de
vised, and that a democracy is utterly
barbarous. My countrymen are pro
verbially fond of argument, and will
meet you on both of these questions,
and, if you choose, will argue with you
to the end of yettr life."
The murmur was renewed, but still
without any decided expression of the
feeling which his answer had been re
ceived.
The third then rose from his seat,
and with an assured voice which seemed
to announce a certain triumph, said:
"I require your decision on a deli
cate question, but the rules of the pas
time warrant it, and also a candid an
swer. You have seen the American
and English ladies; which are the
fitirest ?"
T he young republican glanced around
the circle. - It was bright with flashing
eyes, and the sweet smiles that
wreathed many a lovely lip might
have won a less determined patriot
from his allegiance. lie did not hesi
tate, though he bowed low to the la
dies as he answered :
" The standard of female beauty is,
I believe, allowed to be the power of
exciting admiration and begetting love
in our sex, and consequently those la
dies who are most admired, and be
loved, and respected by the gentlemen,
must be the fiuirest. Now I assert eon
fidcntly, that there is not a nation on
earth where woman is so truly beloved,
so tenderly cherished, so respectfully
treated, as in the Republic of the Uni
ted States, therefore the American la
dies are the thirest. But," he again
bowed low, " if the ladies, before whom
I now have the honor of expressing
my opinion, were in my country we
should think them Americans."
The applause was enthusiastic, and
after the mirth had subsided so as to
allow the judge to be heard, he direc
ted the crown to be given to the
Ya nkce.
EVERY MAN HAS HIS FORTE,
Every man has his weakness, and
the whole art of arranging society con
sists in so placing all the citizens of a
State that their week points shall pro
,b,,„ ♦t •,
strong points shall have every oppor
tunity for an abundant development
and the production of the greatest
amount of good. Early habits and ed
ucation are probably among the great
est determining causes of man's strong
points. As the twig is bent the tree
is inclined. When a man becomes, in
after life, distinguished by any extra
ordinary power, it may generally be
traced back to something in natural
disposition or early life that started
hint off in that direction. Waiter Scott
was laid upon his back. a sick and crip
pled boy, and read a whole library of
novels for amusemeht. Sick of that,
lie read history. Then he got better
and roamed the country with his dogs
and gun ; and finally his father took
him into his office and made him write
and read law. All of these things to
gether combined to form the future
writer of historical romances. Even
the business habits of the office con
tributed no small share to his success,
by making him the most business-like
and mechanically industrious man of
genius of his age, the most wholesale
literary writer of has day. It is on
this account in India the system of
caste is so strong, that lies at the basis
of everything. Each man must be what
his father was before him, what he is
therefore brought up to, and thus his
forte will, it is supposed, be assuredly
developed. Yet what sort of 4, mere
signet-writer would Sir Walter Scott
ever have made going through the
routine of his father's office ? As a
lawyer, a sheriff, or even as a judge,
he would only be second rate. Thus
it is that all unnecessary restriction
only represses the strong points of
men and often compels them to exhibit
nothing but weakness.
The opposite system in our govern
ment, however, has its dangers also.—
Here everything is loft so very free,
that unless a man knows accurately
his own strong and weak points,
he is
quite as apt, in the endless changes
that are taking place, to spend all his
life without finding out his trim voca
tion, and without developing anything
but weakness in everything, and real
strength and perfection in nothing.—
The hope of making money faster leads
many men to change from what they
were doing well, or the supposition of
one employment being more respecta
ble than another leads thousands to
change or choose an occupation, with
-1 out the least regard to their own par
ticular fitness of character and attain
ments for it. Many a first-rate me
chanical genius is repressed, and the
possessor of it turned into the channels
of trade, and many a superior man of
business brings up his son to smoke ci
gars in a law office, when he has no
taste for its metaphysical niceties. If
a man can do any one thing success
fully, let him stick to that until he can
do something else better. All change
from an occupation in which a man is
doing well ought at least to be very
slow, and prepared for by many ex
periments to see how he will succeed
in that to which he aspires.
Though reading silt 4 conversu
tion may furnish us with many ideqs
of men and things, yet it is our own
meditation that must form our judg
meat.
litlauTs—little red things that both
men and women phis with for mormy
k,)t
HUNTINGDON, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1861.
SOMETHING FOR YOUNG MEN,
If any one should ask what is the
great characteristic of the young men
of the present day, what would be the
answer? Those who have pondered
upon the subject would say that it is
au ambitious desire to become sudden
ly rich, or masters of their profbssion,
whatsoever it may be. This desire is
not peculiar to certain classes, but
among all classes we find the same
disposition to get gain and reputation.
The students at - their books forget
what are the essentials to make them
truly eminent, and so burry over their
studies, looking only to the time when
they shall be invested with the title of
Lawyer, Priest, or Dootor, which nei
ther their neglected opportunities of
study, nor their natural talents, enti
tle them to wear. If they can only
pass examination, they are content,
each taking for granted that he has
only to receive the title, and all the
honors and emoluments must necessa
rily follow. But they would do well
to bear in mind that such things do
not necessarily follow. If they would
but look about them they could see
many who enjoy the title, but reap
few of the honors or profits. There
are instances of young men, by no
means few, who commenced with the
best advantages, whose parents were
able to gratify every wish, who in
their earlier days bade fair to become
distinguished men, but who now idle
away their time about our city, satis
fied with the titles which they are un
worthy to wear, and of no use to them
selves or the community around them.
Among our mercantile and business
classes the same result is manifest.—
Young men who commenced as boys,
and have risen to be clerics, without
having acquired a thorough know
ledge of every department of the bus
iness in which they are engaged, and
not having examined the methods
which successful and honorable emi
nence is acquired, frequently come to
the conclusion that their labors are
not sufficiently requited that they are
qualified to conduct business on their
own account, that they have all those
habits upon which in a great measure
the success of a business depends, and
accordingly they commence on their
own account, and enter the lists as
competitors of those from whom they
are receiving their business education.
and against whom as a general thing,
they have neither a sufficient capital' .
e.6o.6 4 lliidl2.leTifse a r e
crany over-looked. They are usually
a premature fitiltire, or a series of em
barrassments, which entirely dispirit
and render it almost impossible, ever
after, for them to acquire the confi
dence of the community or be success
ful in business. Those who enter upon
business under such circumstances,
and succeed, are very few in number,
anti they cannot reasonably hope to
succeed, for it is only by a thorough
knowledge of business, by an exercise .
of tact, judgment and careful discrimi
nation, joined with habits of industry,
close application to business, and a
studious observation of the laws of
trade, and a familiarity with human
nature, that the young man can ever
expect to become an eminent and hon
orable merchant. All these qualifica
tions can be obtained only by years of
labor in the capacity of clerk, and
without them capital will be of little
count, for if it is invested practical ig
, nor:oleo anal the lack of' proper busi
ness habits will gain the day, and the
haste of the young man will have led
him on to fidlure and subsequent in
solvency, when be should be enjoying
the ease and comfort attendant upon a
salary prudently and safely managed,
and the -prospect of entering into busi
ness with those, he has faithfully served.
By his haste he will have wasted his
capital, injured his reputation,
in business, and will once more be
obliged to seek the humble employ
ment of a clerk. These are not ima
ginary suggestions, and it will be well
for every young man who reads them,
to think well of them, for his future
welfare may depend upon his so doing.
Let them not suppose that there is
anything degrading or humiliating in
being a clerk or subordinate, or that
time will be lost in devoting a series
of years to a faithful acquiring of the
details of' the business he hopes to pur
sue, but remember, that by neglecting
to improve the opportunities afforded
him in his early days, he will endan
ger his right to a future standing
among men whose names are men
tioned with respect, and who are held
up as examples of what should enti
tle men to be called truly just and
honorable.
LOOK 011 T.
Young man ! A mishap may de
stroy you. Ono sin may ruin your
character. Did you ever reflect on
the consequences of a single indulgence
in vice ? The best men have fallen
through the suggestion of another.—
How careful you should be while in
the freshness of your days, lest a blight
fall on you forever. If invited to places
of resort, where it is difficult to decide,
take the safe course, stay away and
save your reputation. This is a jewel
of inestimable value too precious to be
put in jeopardy. No man ever regrets
that he kept aloof from temptation,
and to the close of his life he expresses
joy that he was saved from the path of
shame, by giving a decided negative
when the voice of pleasure beckoned
him on. Be decided and you are safe.
Yield and you may be lost. Watch
with dilligence and guard every ave
nue through which sin may reach you.
In no other way will you ho sure to
overcome the evils of the world.
Ile - Scarlet, silk, and satin, have rut
not the kitchen fire. Too true,
-PERSEVERE.-
KISSING,
A kiss is like a sermon; " it requires
two heads and an application." It
deals with the hidden spirit by means
of tangible symbols. It is like faith,
in that it is " the substance of things
hoped for." It is the language of al
fection, the echo of love, and the con
centration of bliss; it is of "good re
port" and pleasing to our ears; it is
eloquence " dwelling with sweet ac
cents upon the lips." 3,45 is both vocal
and instrumental harmonious" in a
language and with a sentiment intelli
gible in all language and in all ages.—
It is the " seal" of a father's blessing,
the witness of a mother's love, the
"guarantee of a broth Ar's protection,
the "surety" of a sister's devotion, the
" gate" to a lover's heaven, and some
thing that mere friends have nothing
to do with. It is very fashionable for
Misses of a- certain age, to insist that
"it is all foolishness, and decidedly
silly." We never hear such an ex
pression without thinking of a circum
stance that actually occurred some
where in Indiana, if - we
,remember
rightly. A gentleman stopped at a
house by the wayside for information
as to the route he was taking, and
found a woman ironing, with her little
child trying to amuse itself upon the '
floor; the little one was Mlle two and
a half years old, very neatly dressed,
evidently scrupulously eared for, and
eminently handsome. The gentleman,
while talking to the mother, picked up
the child and kissed it; the little one
looked in such perfect astonishment
that the gentleman remarked, "Why,
my little dear, one would think that
you were not used to being kissed."—
The woman answered for the child, " I
don't believe, sir, that she was ever
kissed before in her life. lam sure I
never did such a thing, and never knew
its father to do so." Lord have mercy
on that child and scud it somebody to
love it, was the gentleman's prayer,
as he made sure that his wallet was in
its place, and took himself out of the
house as fast as possible. Not to know
the holy kiss of a mother, the fondling
embrace of a Either, the earnest lip
press of brothers and sisters, is to hill
in the development of the soul in an
essential and vital degree ; and surely
what is so wondrous holy in infancy,
so refining in childhood, so worthy in
parents, and so prevalent - upon the
hearthstone, is not a matter to be dis-
posed of with a sneer, or disn.l,l- -
with a " Pooh I" t t ths , of
the blessed Bible, never wears out; it
is, like them, always new, fresh and
interesting; and, for the same reason,
viz : it deals with the affections, which,
unlike the intellect, loves the familiar,
delights in the old, and is coy of the
new and strange.
The kisses are not small. Thorn is
the kiss paternal, the kiss fraternal,
the connubial, (and pre-connubial,) and
the kiss promiscuous. The last two
varieties are the only ones to which
we object. Wo have often thought, in
reference to the kiss, promiscuous, ono
of the blessings of tho man over the
woman consisted in being relieved of
this conventional duty. It seems to
us, in very many instances, like cast
ing pearls before the swine; and in
il
lustration of the old adage, "
Familiar
ity breeds contempt." A man or wo
man who makes himself or herself
common in this respect, must not won
der if they are not always appreciated.
Notwithstanding all that we have said,
we are not slow to confess that in
many cases the practice is carried to
unseemly and ridiculous lengths.
What sense is there in a lady's receiv
ing every feminine caller with the
same expressions that she would greet
the return of a long absent brother or
husband? Is it not a hypocritical lie
for Mrs. Jones to thus express affection
for Mrs. Quidnunc, when in her heart,
Mrs. J. wishes Mrs. Q. at home ? Is
it not outrageous to be expected to put
a mother's lip to evcxybody's baby,
clean or dirty ?---London Critic.
MCAT EXAMPLE WILL DO,
We know not when, nor to how
great an extent, we may be the means
of blessing others in the faithful dis
charge of duty, merely by the force of
example. An aged and devoted
Christian, now living in New Jersey,
about forty years ago occupied the
lower part of a house in New York.—
It was his custom regularly to observe
tinnily worship. A young man and
his wife resided in the upper part of
the house, who were "without God
and without hope in the world." By
overhenring them below as they engag
ed in their 'family devotions, the young
husband and wife became impressed
with the importance of religion. Both
were brought to a conviction of sin,
and a sense of their need of a Savior.
They were led to bow together at
the foot of the cross, where they found
peace in believing, and were soon re
joicing together in hope of eternal life.
They at once consecrated themselves
to the service of Christ by uniting with
his people. But the blessing stopped
not here. The young man, soon af
ter his conversion, commenced study
ing for the ministry, which ho entered,
and went out to the far West, and de
voted his life in laboring for the salva
tion of souls.
God may use us as instruments for
the advancement of his kingdom, and
of eternal blessings to our fellow-men,
when we least expect it. What an
incentive to Christian fidelity "Not
unto us, not unto us, but to his name
be the glory."
" Grandpa, did you. know that
tho United States has been in the habit
of encouraging and acknowledging to
ries ?" " What kind of tories ?"
" Terri tories. Now give me them pea;
nuts, or I'll catch the measels, and
make you pay for them."
4'lA:t-,-'oiT,:r.
AN EDITOR ON EDITINV.
Artemus Ward, alias Drown, late lo
cal editor of the Cleveland Plaindealer,
gives tho following advice to young
men who aspire to become editors of
mwspapors:
Before you go for an editor, young
man, pause and take a big think. Do
not rush into the editorial harness
rashly. Look around and see if there
is not an omnibus to drive—some soil
somewhere to be tilled—a clerkship of
some meat cart to be filled—anything
that is reputable and healthy, rather
than going for an editor, which is
hard business at best.
We aro not a horse, and have con
sequently not been called upon to fur
nish the motive power for a threshing
machine; but we fancy that the life of
the editor who is forced to write,
write, write, whether ho feels right or
not, is much like the steed in question.
If the yeas and neighs could be ob
taMed, we believe the intelligent horse
would decide that the threshing ma
chine is preferable to the sanctum ed
itorial.
Tho editor's work Is never done.—
He is drained incessantly, and no
wonder that he dries up prematurely.
Other people can attend banquets,
weddings, visit halls of dazzling
light, get inebriated, break windows,
lick a man occasionally, and enjoy
themselves in a variety of ways; but
the editor cannot. He must stick te
naciously to quill. The press, like a
sick baby, musn't be left alone for a
minute. If the press is left to run it
self even for a day, some absurd per
son indignantly orders the carrier boy
to stop bringing " that infernal paper.
There's nothing in it. I won't have it
in the house !"
The elegant .llantalina, reduced to
mangle turning, described his life as a
"dem'd horrible grind." The life of
an editor is all of that.
But there is a good time coming, we
feel confident, for the editor—a time
when he will be appreciated; when he
will have a front seat; when ho will
have a pie every day, and wear store
clothes continually; when the harsh
cry of "Stop myluiper!" will no more
grate - upon his ears. Courage, Meis
sicurs the Editors.
Still, sanguine as we are of the com
ing of this jolly time, we advise the
vie lie failes up — fro -' qiull as a neTt --
of obtaining his bread and butte=---
Do not, at least, - no su--uum- s ,”.r-trave
been jilted several dozen times by a
like number of girls—until you have
been knocked down stairs and soused
into a horse-pond—until all the " gush
ing" feelings within you have been
thoroughly subdued—until, in short,
your hide is of rhinoceros thickness.—
Then, 0, aspirants for the bubble rep
utation at the press' mouth, throw
yourselves among the ink-pots, dust
and cobwebs of the printing-office, if
you will.
KONSTER BELLS.
Russia is pre-eminently the country.,
of great bells, where they may be
heard in full vigor, not "swinging slow
with sullen roar," for they are too
heavy to be swung, but incessantly
tolling and booming, and deafening all
ears but those of Russians, who al
most worship their bells. In Moscow
alone, before the revolution, there were
1,700 large hells, which number has
increased now to 5,000. The Great
Bell of Moscow, of which every one
has heard, was cast in 1563, by . order
of Emperss Anne. Its weight is vari
ously estimated at from 360,000 to
440,000 lbs. It is 21 ft. 3 in. in height,
and about 22 ft. in diameter at the
mouth. In 1837 the Czar Nicholas
caused it to be taken out of the pit in
which it lay, and to be placed upon
the granite pedestal as it is now seen.
Upon its side is seen the figure of the
Empress Anne, in flowing robes. It
hasbeen consecrated as i chapel; the
Russians regarding it with the most
superstitious veneration, and will not
allow a particle to be taken from it as
a specimen of the metal. The entrance
to it is through a largo fracture or
opening in the side where a piece has
been broken out. There is now sus-
pended in Moscow, upon the tower of
St. Ivan,
a bell weighing 144,000 lbs.
cast in 1817; the diameter of which at
the mouth is 13 ft.
.The bells of China rank next in size
to those of Russia, there being several
in Pekin, cast in honor of the trans
ferrance of the seat of government
from Nankin to that city, which are
said to weigh 120,000 lbs. Another at
Nankin, of nearly cylindrical shape, is
estimated to weigh 55,000 lbs.
Of European bells, the fill - nous one
at Erfurt, in aermauy, cast in 1497,
and weighing about 30,000 lbs., was
long celebrated,not only as the largest, '
but alsoas the best in Europe. One
placed in the Cathedral of Paris, in
1680, weighs 38,000 lbs. Another in
Vienna, cast in 1711, weighs 40,000
lbs.; and in Qlmutz is another of about
the same weight. The great Tom of
Oxford, England, weighs 17,000 lbs.,
and was cast in 1080.
The great bell recently cast for the
Parliament House in London, weighs
30,000 lbs.; that in York Minster, cel
led Great Peter of York, weighs 27,-
000 lbs., and that upon the Notre
Dame Cathedral in Montreal, (the
largest upon this continent,) weighs
29,400 lbs., and was imported from
England in 1843,
t&r. It is a strange way of showing
our humble reverence and love for the
Creator, to be perpetually condemning
and reviling everything that he has
created.
Absalom's hair, which was cut
every year, is said to have weighed
200 shekels, or 4 pounds and 4 ounces•
TERNS, $1,50 a year in advance.
WHY DIGGEST THOU ?
The following amusing caricature
was written for an Eastern paper by
a physician who wandered away to
the Pike's Peak country and turned
miner. It is pretty good:
" Why Will Ye Dig?" Son of man
for the light of whose presence my
spirit yearneth and my bowels gram
bleth, dost thou ask me why ?' Is it
not written that fortune smiles upon
fools ? And for the sake of all these
smiles bath not thy servant been ma
king a fool, yea; au ass of himself, M
vain? For five years and ten days he
has sojourned in this place=he has
dived into the water—he has torn an
cient rocks from their resting-places,
and removed them afar off—ho has
likewise torn his breeches in parts not
to be spoken of?—he has rooted into
the mud like mlto a swine. His beard
has grcovu leng,,-_the skin upon his
hands and his face ]lath changed its
color until he is now like unto a wild
beast, and his garments are red and
soiled, so that " sackcloth and ashes"
would be as fine linen and purple to
him. He who in time past was wont
to fare sumptuously, and to grumble
over great delicacies which were then
piled upon the table of Dives, now
snuffs with gladness the fragments of
pork and beans, and gnashes his teeth
impatiently over a frying flap-jack.—
He bolteth a raw onion with unspeak:
able avidity. Potatoe skins fear his
presence, beef vanishes from before
him, and dogs look in vain for the
bones. In his sleep, nevertheless, the
good angel of the - past deigns to visit
him, and delightful visions arc opened
to his recollections, for a delicious bill
of fare floats before the mind of the
dreamer, and ho orders oysters and
terrapin for six, only to wake up to
get his infernal slap :jacks and molas
ses.
All this bath thy servant endured.
Is he not then a fool, an abomination
in the very sight of wisdom ? I must
secrete myself in fortune's path, and
seize her unawares. But she glideth
off, as though I had caught a hog by
his greased tail. Sic transit, I exclaim,
as with a sick heart I revile poverty
and curse fortune.
Surely he bath not sinned as other
men sinneth. Ile had not coveted his
neighbor's ox, nor his ass, not his man
nor his maid servant---for be
t
by the Law and the Prophets, but the
profits have not abided with him.
Now, therefore, I renounce these
diggings—l absquatulato the premises
vamose the ranehl depart with
out scrip or provender, talcing no care
for the morrow, for the morrow takes
no care of me. Ere five days shall
have passed, the shirt tail of thy ser
vant will be waving in the breezes of
the Nevada.
A remnant of it will be nailed upon
the highest mountain that he crosses,
as an emblem of the extremity to
which a man may be reduced in the
laud of Ophir. Yet think not, oh,
Elisha! thatl would rend my garment
for this alone. Verily I say unto thee,
an evil genius bath long pursued me.
She has followed so close upon my foot
steps that every thread and fibre of my
shirt are familiar to her eye. And if,
in her pursuit of me, she should gaze
upon all this relic in the solitary fast
ness of the high mountain, she will at
once recognize it, and believing me to
have been torn and destroyed by wild
beasts, she will retrace her steps, and
thus will I escape her.
As il,loses reared the serpent in the
wilderness, for the Children of Israel
to look upon and be cured of their in
firmities, so will I elevate my tin
among the Gentiles, that they may
look upon and be made as whole.—
The offerings of gold and silver will be
acceptable llato me, and if they live
not afterwards peradventure they may
find a treasure in Heaven.
FIRST BABIES.
A somewhat extended observation,
and a solitary experience, have con
vinced us that first babies have a hard
time. Parents must have two or three
children before they know what a baby
is—know how to treat it properly.—
The poor little fellows that have the
misfortune to come along first, have to
educate parents to their task, and in
the process they get spanked, and
shaken and abused. After a man-has
three or four children, ho learns that
whipping or striking a child less than
two years of age is barbarism. We
knew one "paternal head" who struck
his first child when only six. weeks old,
he actually believing that tho child
knew better than to cry, and that he
stopped crying at that particular *time
because he struck him. We carry cer
tain notions of children and of family
government into married life, and the
first child is always the victim of these
' notions. And not alone of these, for
the parents have•not learned self-cun
trol, and a baby is whipped quite as
often because the parent is impatient
or angry, as because it is vicious or in
tractable. We inflict on our first chil
dren the floggings we ought to have for
our own impatience or fretfulness. This
pounding children before they hecom.e
in God's eye morally responsible be
ings is a very strange business. Pa
tience, good people, un wearying pa
tience Don't wait to learn it until
one of your little ones shall be bidden
under the daisies.
ile,A very cheap and effective sub
stitute for painted glass is gelatine, of
which little lamps are now made for
illumination, with capital effect.
tel., A gun from Sebastopol has been
taken to New Bedford from Liverpool,
and constitutes one of the curiosities
of the place,
SPEAKING HIS MIND,
Old Deacon llobhouse had a habit
of frequently thinking aloud, .Espon
daily if any matter troubled him, he
had to talk it over with himself before
his peace of mind conhl be restored.—
One he was alone in his barn,
pitching bay from the scaffold to the
MOW, When his neighboi Stevens went
io find him. Stevens heard a voice
and listened. it was the deacon, talk,
ins to himself. lie was condemning
in the strongest terms the extrava-.
gance of the minister's wife.
" She sets a worse example than
Satan !" exclaimed tho deacon by way
of climax.
NO. 33.
And having freed his mind, he was
preparing to come down from the loft,
when Stevens glided out of the barn,
and came in again just as the deacon
landed on the floor,
" How We do, deacon r cried Sto7
yens. " I want to borrow your haLf-,
bushel an hour ox two,"
" 0, sartin, sartin," said the deacon,
The measure was put into the neigh,
bor's hands, and he departed.
It was a peaceful community—the
minister's wife was an excellent WO,-
rcum, notwithstanding her love of fin
ery, and D,eacon Hobhouse was of all
men the least disposed to make trou
ble in the society. Hence the sensa
tion whicli was, produced when the re
port circulated that he had used almost
blasphemous language in speaking of
that amiable lady. The sweetest tem
pered woman would not like to hear
of a grove and influential deacon de
claring that "sho sets a worse exam
ple than Satan !" The minister's wife,
whose ear was in due time reached by,
the report, 'felt in a high degree in
censed, and sent her husband to deal
with the honest old man.
The latter was astonished when told
of the charge against him.
" I never said so !" ho solemnly
averred.
" You aro quite positive that you
never did ?" said the minister.
" Heaven knows ! It's false as false
can be 1" exclaimed the deacon.—
" Whatever thoughts I may have had
about your wife's extravagance—and
I am now free to say I do think she
has set our wives and daughters a-run
ning after new bonnets and shawls,
and such vanities—whatever thoughts
I've had, though, I've kept 'em to my
self; I never mentioned 'em to a living
soul, never 1"
The good man's earnestness quite
convinced the minister that he had
been falsely reported. It was there
fore necessary to dig to the root of the
scandal. Mrs. Brown, who told the
minister's wife, had heard Itlrs. Jones
say that Mr. Adams said that Deacon
gobhouse said so ; and 31„tr. Adams,
being applied to, stated that he had
the report from Stevens, who said that
he heard the deacon say so. ptevens
was accordingly brought up for ex
amination, and confronted with the
deacon.
"It's an outrageous falsehood!" said
the deacon. 'Yon know, Stevens, I
never opened my lips to you on the
subject--,nor to any other man."
" I heard you say," remarke, Ag;
a i •
" When ? where ?" demanded the
excited deacon.
" In your barn," replied Stevens,
"when I went to borrow your half
bushel."
" There never was such a lie ! Ste
vens—Stevens," said the quivering
deacon—" you know"—
" Wait till I explain," interrupted
Stevens. "I was on the barn floor,
you was up on the scaffold pitching
hay, and talking to yourself. I thought
it too good to keep ; so, just for the
joke, I told what I heard you say."
The deacon scratched his head, look
ed humbled, admitted that ho might,
in that way, have used the language
attributed to him. To avoid trouble
in the - society, ho afterwards went to
apologize to the minister's wife.
"You must consider," said he, "that
I was talking to myself; and when I
talk to myself, .1 am-apt to speak my
mind very freely."
TAKING THE =SUS.
" Madam, will you please inform me
of the number of inhabitants in this
house ?" •
f , Sir ?"
" The people in this mansion." .
"Well, there's eight in the room
overlie:lV
si ll.uw many? Eight? Axe they all
adults ?"
":No, they are Smiths, except two
hoarders"
Smiths Blaelc or white smiths,
madam ?"
" I'd have you to know I don't live
in a house with niggers."
"I didn't allude tq color, T. only
meant their calling."
" 0, that's it, is it; well if you had
been here last nignt, you'd
,found out,
for they were calling the watch as loud
as they could scream."
" Madam, I'merely wish to know
how many people' you hue in this
house, arid what they do for a living ?"
"Yes, yes, now I. understand.—
Well, let me see ; there's the two Mul
lin's—that's one—
S' That makes two madam."
" Well, if you know best, 'spose you
count 'em yourself,"
" It is my business to inquire."
" Well, you'd better attend to it then,
and don't bother me."
. .
" I'm out with the census, and—"
" Well, you act out of your senses, I
should think, to come into -my house
asking such questions."
"It is in accordance with an act of
Congress, madam."
" Well, you tell Mr. Congress, that
he acts very foolish in sending you
round axing such shelter, silly ques
tions,"
Ser . A young lady friend writing of
a class of people who exhibit traits of
character in their lives that are calcu
lated to accomplish little or no good in
the world, beautifully says : "I would
spend a portion of each day in looking
up some ono whom I could help in
some way. I would leave more of a
trace behind than the engine upon the
track. How many there are who
whiz through the world in just about
the same manner that a locomotive
does, and leave just as legible a mark I"
If there were more young . ladies of
this kind in the world, society would
be better off.
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