The globe. (Huntingdon, Pa.) 1856-1877, January 02, 1861, Image 1

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-the term aubdcribed for null ho coueitleA a new engage.
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Pt ufessional arid Business Cat ils not exceeding four lines.
ono year, t.l (ICI
Admini,triltore and Evecuturs' Notices 00 75
Advi rtisements not marked with tho number of ltisnc.
turns .I,sire.l, will be continued till tut bid end charged ac
cording to these terms. .
There is a sentiment in the following tines which will
god an echo in every breast against which the storms of
Lie Ins beaten. Many a man, scarred In the warfare of
life, will feel his eyes moisten in recalling the potency of
a mothet's love :
Ilackunrd, turn backward, oh, Time in your flight,
Make too a child again, lust Cyr tonight!
Mother come Lack from the edit:less shore,
Take me again to your beast as of yore—
Ries from my foiehead the furrows of care,
Smooth the few silver threads out of my hair,
O'er my slumbers your loritig watch keep— '
Stock me to sleep, tuather—rock me to sleep!
Rickward,ilorr backward, oh, tide of the years!
I mu so weary of toil and of tears—
Toil without recompense—team all in vain—
Take them and give me my childhood again!
I have grown weary of dust and decay,
Weary of flinging my soul-wealth away—
Of sowing for others to reap;—
Rock me to sleep, mother—rock me to sleep!
Ti - ed or the hollow, tho tmse, tho untrue,
Mother, oh mother, my bunt calls for you!
Many a summer tho grass has grown green,
blossomed and faded—our faces betw•een—
You w ith strong yearning and passionate pain,
Long I to-nigut fur your presence again;
Come from the silence so long and so deep—
ltock mo to sleep, mother—lock mo to sleep!
Over my heart in tim days that are flown
No love like mothenlovo ever has iikown—
No other worship abides lust endures,
Faithful, unselfish curd patient like yours—
None liken mother can chat m nu ay pain,
From the sick soul and uon ld weary brain ;
Simuhet's soft calm o'er my heavy lid; creel ,—
Rock me to sleep, mother—lock me to sleep!
Come, let your brown Lair, Just lighted with gold,
Fall on my shoulder agent as of uld—
Let it drop over my forehead to-night,
Shading my faint 03( B away from the light.
For with its Bunny Gigs shadows once morn,
Haply nill liner thu visions of yoro,
Lovingly, softly, its bright billows sweep—
hock me to bleep, mother—ruck mo to sleep I
Llfother, dear malted the years bare been long
since I last llitened to your lullaby song,
Sing then, nod nun) my soul it shall seem
Womanhood's tears hose been only n dream;
Cla%ped to your heart in loving embrace,
With your light lashes just snooping may face;
Never here after to wake or to weep,
/took me to sleep, mother—rock me to sleep
It is well known to all in any degree
familiar with the history of Mexico
that a regular system of highway rob
bery exists in every section of that
miserably governed country ; and that
tlu•ough a want of interference of the
authorities, this has grown up into
such a re , itlar . • utriabi
Th - Fit — . every traveler must be prepared
to put hi» life at hazard at every stage,
or be provided with a suitable contri
bution for los caballeros del carmine (the
knight» of the road,) who will make
their levy with:a politeness only equal
led by the smiling landlord when ho
receives your over charged fire for
your last night's entertainment. Why
such systematic boldness of robbery is
allowed—if not with the connivance,
at least with rarely any interference
of the Government or State authori
ties—is one of those mystical matters
which among many others so puzzles
and perplexes the intelligent Ibreign
ers ; bat that such is the disagreeable
truth every traveller through the
wretched country can bear ample tes
Some years ago, having business
which first called me to the capital of
Mexico; and thence through the inte
rior of the country to the northward, I
met with several thrilling adventures,
which I have recorded for the benefit
of whomsoever may take an interest
therein, omitting only the dates, they
being nonessential to the interests of
the narrations themselves.
The fitwt of the selves occurred on
the route between Vera Cruz and the
City of Ilexleo. In the regular dill
gencia running between the place.ljust
mentioned I had taken passage, and
passed through the, beautiful City of
Jalapa, and entered the gloomy town
of Peyote, without meeting with any
unusual incident, though being contin
ually- warned to be on my guard against
the dangers of the road.
where we halted for relay and refresh
ment, all my fellow passengers took
leave of me, very solemnly assuring
me that, if assailed by the ladrones, or
robbers, it would be much better for
me to take matters quietly, and suffer
myself to be genteelly plundered, than
to run the risk of having my throat
cut for resistance, as I had somewhat
lroldly proclaimed it was my intention
of doing. I thanked them for their
advice, and replied that I would take
the matter into serious consideration.
At Perote, I repeat, all who had
been my companions from Vera Cruz
took leave of me, this being the end of
their journey in that direction, but
there was one new passenger here to
go forward, whom, to my agreeable
surprise, I found to be a - beautifbl
young lady, some twenty years of age.
Senorita Paula, es I subsequently as
certained her name to be, was indeed
one of those rare beauties seldom met
with except in works of fiction—tall,
graceful, with a profusion of lon g ,
black hair, soft, clear, melting dark
eyes, features as perfect as ever came
from the hands of the sculptor, and
with an animation the most fascina
ting, varying in expression with every
changing mood of the intellectual pos
sessor. A glance at her bewitching
eyes showed me that she was one who
was naturally of a social disposition ;
mid as we rattled away front the
gloomy town. I took the -liberty of
opening the conversation.
They tell me," said " that the
route between here and Mexico is a
very dangerous one to travel."
" There is little to fear," she replied,
with a sweet smile and a melodious
tone, " except front the profesional
robbers, and they seldom harm any
one who makes no resistance."
"It SCCIIIS stranv to me," I rejoined.
that .yon Mexicans should take such
a thing as a matter of course ; and
deem resistance a very impolite way
or treating the knights of the road, in
ste ci at' boldly a 4.erting your rights,
apd hy - a
manly spirit
WILLIAM LEWIS, Editor and Proprietor.
of resistance. For myself, must con
sider it the most cowardly of proceed
ings for any respectable party to set
out prepared to quietly gratify the cu
pidity of the ladrones, and unprepared
to treat them to their just deserts."
"EVery traveler, Senor," she replied,
"should, before setting out, count the
cost of his journey, and as, of eclat's°,
it is natural he should value his life
highly, it seems to be natural that ho
should pay a certain sum for positive
safety rather than put that life in jeop
ardy. For instance, in traveling from
Vera Cruz to Mexico, if he will reckon
that so much is 'the fire by the dili
gencia, and that so much will be re-
quircd for entertainment on the way,
and -o much for the contingency you
epeaTc ot; he will then have the exact
cost between the two points, and if he
will look at the whole as the sum total
of his journey, he will not seem to be
robbed by any one party more than
" That," I replied, " may be, I be
lieve is, the Mexicali modo of doing
business, but does not tally with the
prenonceived ideas of us foreigners."
"But, every one," replied the fair
speaker, " should conform to the cus
toms of the country he yisits.7,
" And do you then go, prepared for
this highway robbery? and have you
no fear in thus journeying by yourself ?"
Well, Senor, what can I do ? I
ant as you perceive, an unprotected
lady, who, for certain reasons, am re
quited to make the jjurney between
Perote and the Capital some twice or
thrice a year, and you certainly could
not expect me to go prepared to resist
an armed band ? As to fear, I will not
deny I have my share of that, but so
far I wive never met with any rough
treatment, and of course I trust to the
saints that my fortune will ever be
"And you have really been robbed
on your journey back and forth ?" I
" I think I have paid my share to
the lad rones for my transit through this
country 1" she laughed. •
" And you expect to continue a rep
etition of the same for the rest of your
life ?"
" Who knows ?" she replied. "At
least, I hope to be always prepared."
" And your fellow travellers," said
" have you - never seen any disposi
tion to resist these unlawful acts ?"
" Once, Senor. a" Arn,aran - untt
Englishman, who were in the same
unigunetanTilli me, fired upon the rob
bers, killing One and wounding fwo."
" And did the robbers fire back r'
" Yes, but fled immediately, and for
tunately- injured none of our party."
" As I should have expected," re
turned I. "You were not robbed on
that occasion, I suppose.
We were not, Senor; but the fi>'o .
foreigners subsequently paid dearly
for their resistance, for in jo , •neying
back both were killed, separate and at
different times, near the same spot.—
You see those crosses by the side of
the road, Senor ?"
"I have observed them frequently,
but here they seem. to be much more
numerous," I replied, looking forth
from tho vehicle.
"Each stands on the spot where
seine one has met a violent death," she
rejoined ; and as we go along, I will
call your attention to those which
niurk the places where the foreigners
met theirs.
" Do you know," said I " that I am
resolved to emulate their example, let
the consequences be what they may ?"
" Holy saints defend us," she ex
elaimed, " you are not In earnest, Sc
nor ?"
"Seriously so, I assure, you."
"You would only bring certain
death upon 11
"Say rather, I should lighten the
expenses of the journey—for your
knights of the road understand how
to retreat as well as ad Vallee—and you
yourself: have, tw,knovh.‘dged that firm
resistance put them to flight for once."
" But there were numbers opposed
to thorn Senor, and you are only one."
"But fortunately I have a couple of
revolvers, which, in two good hands,
amount to some ten or dozen shots
and my friends have repeatedly tol
me I am not a very bad marksman
" Ah! Santa Maria! you will-thin
better of this, Soffit the YerY idea, of
resistance terrifies rim!'
" But not the idea of robbery ?"
"Because - I ne r met with violence."
We eontinn to converse in a sim
ilar strain for ome time longer—my
fair companion gradually changing
the subject, and seemed much interest
ed in myself. I learned that her fam
ily name was Valverde, that she was
unmarried, that her father and broth
er were officers in the .- army, and so
forth, and so on; and in return I gave
her my own name, stated something
of my own history, business and pros-,
poets, and altogether became more
communicative than I would advise
any friend to be with any stranger of
either sex in a strange country.
As we continued on our journey the
conversation gradually changing from
one thing to another, Senorita Paula
suddenly brought it back to the point
where it first opened.
"We are coming to a dangerous
part of the . road," she said, " are you
still resolved to defend yourself if as
" With your permission, Senorita."
" I don't think it advisable," she re
plied, " but still if such is your inten
tion, I think ,it no more than right
that you should give me a chance to
take part in my defence, since my risk
of danger will be as great as yours."
" And have you really the,,wrve, af
ter all, to defend yourself?" rifiquired.
"If I had the means, S
" I have two pistols," sai7l; " if you
will accept one of them it is at your
You are very kind," Senor;
can I tire it ?"
With ease, Senorita ;" and frocht
(fin!,-'one of my revolvers I explained
herto the manner in which it Viro
he used
"4 , 9 • - 1 ?„
t. 4
\ I
' l l
5 4 s 10
"And this, you say, will shoot some
half a dozen times ?"
" I think it is safe to calculate that
five charges out of six will, explode,
" A very formidable weapon, indeed!"
she replied, " tind with such I can al.
most fancy we are safe. You have
another you stiy, like this ?"
I produced it.
"What a beautiful invention!" she
observed, reaching over and taking it
from my hand. Then extending her
[lambi, one of the revover:.l in each,
she continued
".Armed like this, one - might almost
count himself against a host. Yott
say this is fired m this manner?" she
proceeded, cockin ,, one or the weapons,
as she spoke, and poiuting it towards
the road.
have a care, Senorita, or you will
discharge it."
The words were scarcely uttered,
when her finger pressed the trigger,
mild one of the charges exploded with
a sharp report. A minute after, and
while I was gently chiding her, we
heard a loud quick tramp of horses,
and several sharp, rapid exclamations.
The next moment our conveyance was
stopped suddenly, and we saw our
selves surrounded by sonic eight or ten
mounted men, one of whom, in a loud
voice exclaimed
" Yield prisoners or (lie."
" Quick, Senorita," said I extending
my hand; " quick, a Heaven's name !
give me one of those weapons ! fiir now
is our time for decisive action?"
" Nay," she replied, putting the
weapons behind her, " You will be too
hasty. Let them suppose we yield—
let them open the door !"
" Oh, no ! it will then be too late."
As I spoke the door was suddenly
thrown open and three or four swar
thy, heavily-bearded men presented
themselves to my view.
" Quick, Senorita, for the love of
God ?" I cried, grasping at her arm.
" Hold," she exclaimed, instantly
presenting one of my own revolvers to
my head. " Resistance is useless—you
are our prisoner."
"Good God!" I exclaimed perfectly
astounded ; " ear prisoner, did you say ?
It is not possible that one so fair and
lovely as yourself is in any manner
connected with these banditti ?"
" It is even so; Senor," she replied,
with one of her most bewitching smiles,
1 ---paia_ one of jny own weapons
turned against myg - 61
ly pointing the other to the door.—
' Yon will., oblige us by eitepping forth
and giving 3'ourbelf into the care of
those good gentlemen, who will see
that you are- treated as a brave man !
should be, but who will trouble you
in the meantime fiir any little change
and valuables you might have to spare."
There seemed to he no help for ii
the beautiful Senorita Paula Valverde
was a spy and accomplice of the lad
rod'es. She had entered the diligencia
at Perote for no other purpose than to
ascertain the exact condition of things
inside, and be able to signalize her as
sociates as she passed along, so that
they might know exactly in what man
ner to conduct themselves and make '
their work sure without risk. By a
simple stratagem she had obtained my
arms, just at the point where she knew
the attack would be made, and her dis
charge of the pistol, as if by accident,
was the sign to shoiy them that all
was secnrc.
"I acknowledge myself conquered
by being outwitted," said I to Senorita.
Then turning to the robbers, who
bad now collected in a body in front
of the door of the diligencia, I contin
" Gentlemen win you permit me to
alight and malco you sonic valuable
present:A? In the language of your
eourtsy, ;ill I lure is yours."
The leader of the party howed po
litely hi return, and said with a grim
" Si, Senor, we shall be most happy
to receive anything which so distin
guished a, traveler may have to be
With this, I quietly stepped from
to vehicle, and one quick, searching
e put me in possession of the
e e state of affairs. The diligeneia
had been stopped. in a wild, gloomy
place, and the driver was sitting care
lessly on his box, taking everything as
a matter of course, lie might also be
an accomplice of the robbers, or he
might not, but, in either case, there
was little hope of assistance from him
—any attempt of the kind would cer
tainly bring upon him a severe pun
ishment sooner or later. I glanced up
and down the road, whore it wound
between dark and overshadowing
trees, but? discovered nothing to give
me any hOpe.
The robbers, some eight or ten in
number and all well armed, were col
lected around me, part of them moun
ted, and the others standing on their
feet, holding their mustangs by the
bridles. Looking upon my case as a
desperate one, so ihr as being plun
dered was concerned, I still retained
my presence of mind mid did not whol
ly despair. True, I had been outwit
ted and disarmed, and now stood sin
gly between numbers, but the idea of
yielding tamely to this outrage was
repugnant to my very nature, and I
resolved to put the least favorable op
portunity for defence and retaliation
to the strongest test.
" Will you accept this purse ?" said
I presenting one that held several gold
coins, and handing it to the chief of
the ladroues.
• " Thank you, Senor, you are very
kind," he said, as be took it in his
hand with a polite how, and chinked
the money.
" This diamond pin may prove ac
ceptable to your friend ?" I added, as
I quietly removed it from the bosom
of my shirt, and banded it over to the
gentleman on his left, who received it
• hi the same polite manner.
" This diamond ring I trust you will
retain as a kccpsnke !" I continued.
drawing, the jewel from my linger. and
presenting it to a. third !"
"I beg your pardon, Senores," I
pursued, glancing r.t - the Senorita
Paula, who, with my pistols still in her
possesion, was quietly standing Iv:th
in the diligencia, regarding:the whole
proceeding with or . of her sweetest
"Ismiles, must not forget this beau
tiful lady. I have here," I went mat
the same time producing the article,
"a very beautiful gold snuffbox—set,
as you perceive, with diamonds—will
your ladyship horior me by accepting
this as a slight token of my regard lbe
the pletrcure afforded me by your
company and conversation ?"
" You are a very gallant gentleman,
Senor," she laughed ; taking the two
revolvers in one fair hand, and present
ing the other.
I reached the box toward her—but
my hand trembled a little-L-and just
as the present u as about to touch her
fingers, it slipped and fell between us,
"A thousand pardons, Senorita.'for
my awkwardness," I said, as I bout
clown to pick it up.
Now was the all-important moment
—the moment of life and death. All
wore in a measure off their ward; and
one quick, fartive
s glanceshowed me
that the girl still held my weapons
carelessly in one hand, with the other
remaining extended for the prize. I
lifted the box carefully, but as I raised
myself, I gave a, wild, startling yell ;
and as the Senorita started back, I.
with tae quickness of lightning, seized
both weapons, and wrenched them
from her.
To wheel and commence firing upon
the party was only the work of a mom
ent. The first shot, fortunately,
stretched out the chief; the second
took effect Oti the .one nearest to him;
and by the time the third had been
sent on its mission there arose one si
multaneous yell of dismay, and the as
tounded robbers began to scatter in
every direction. I had no'disposition
to follow them, however,•miother min
ute they might rally and turn upon
me, and springing forward I grasped
the reins of a freed mustang, and vaul
ted into the saddle. One more glan"ce
around me showed me the Senorita
Paula upon the body of the chief, her
laughter changed to grief, and sonic of
the scattered cowards bringing their
weapons to bear upon me.
"Adios, Senorita and Senores," said
I bitterly; " ho laughs best who laughs
____ The next moment I-«-as- dashing
away — den the road, the half-rallied
robbers pouring after me a_ volley, but
fortiinatcly.not,touehing their.mark.
They would donlitlesSEifYo
me in- -hot prtisuit, but' for the
some dread they had of my still undis
charged weapon' As it was, I escaped,
and entered the town of Puebla in tri
umpli nee:lles:3- to
add, a narratiive of my exploit made
me a hero for ' the time. Here I sold
my captured mustang and trappings
for enough to id:minify me for what I
had disposed of in the way of presents,
and the next ,day saw me an inside
passenger Of the same diligeneia, en
route fin. Mexico, where I arrived in
safety, without any further event wor
thy of note.
What became of the robbers and
their beautifitl accompkpe, I never
learned; but the lessometaught me on
that journey I have itever forgotten ;
and during the remainder of My stay
in that. country, no pretty woman ever
bad the honor of being my confidante,
or of getting possession of my trnsty
and unfailing rovolvcrs.
ITY.—On ono occasion when Washing
ton was Sitting for his portrait in Mr.
Penle's pniiii - Mg room, he looked at
his watch and said, "Mr. Peale, my
time for sitting has expired, but if
alive minutes longer will he of any
importance to you I will remain, and
make up the time by hastening my
walk- up to the State nowt°. (where
Congress was in session.) I know ex
actly how long it will take to walk
"there, and it will not do for me, as
President, to be absent at the hour of
meeting." Mrs. Washington was as
remarkable fbr punctuality as her il
lustrious husband. At one time, du
sing the General's absence, he wrote
to her to get Mr. Peale to paint her
portrait in miniature, and to send it to
him. Mrs. Washington wrote a note.
to the artist, saying that her presence
at home was indispensable when the
General was away, and it would not
be convenient for her to attend at his
painting room. She requested him,
therefore, to come to her house for the
sittings, and offered to acetnnuodate
herself at any hour when it would suit
him to be away from his studio. In
reply, Mr. Peale appointed seven o'clock
in the morning. When he left his
home to keep the engagement for the
first Sitting, it occurred to him that the
lady might not be quite ready to sec
him at so early an hour. lie walked
on accordingly more slowly than usual
Mrs. Washington met him with the
observation, "Mr. Peale, I have been
in the kitchen to give My orders for
the day ; have read the newspaper, and
heard my niece take her lesson on the
harp, and yet have waited on yon"twen
ty minutes." The gentleman, of courso
Mt exceedingly mortified, and re
marked that if' his engagement had
been with Gen. Washington, ho should
have felt the importance of being pime
tual to the minute, but he thought it
necessary to give a lady a little more
time. " Sir," replied Mrs. Washing
ton, "I am as punctual as the General."
It may be imaghLed that Mr. Peale
took care to be at the house the next
day at the time appointed.
zc&-In olden time they had but sev
en wise mem Now, take men at their
own value, and you - won't find half'
that number of fbols.
A nun should. pursue in health
the 811111 C lino of col:duet he propos , es
iu ,sickness,
ih Rending nizt tc•t• OH eN't.ry
Artemus Ward's visit to "Old Abe."
I hiv no politics. aNary a one.—
I'm not in the hisniss. if I was, I
scose I should holler v'ersiffrusly iu
t'ie streets at nite, and' go home to
Betsy Jane smellin of coal ile and gin
the mornin. I should go - the Poles
arty. I should stay there all day. I
should see to it that ,my milers, was
than. I should git carriages to take
the kripplos, the infirm and the indig
nant than. I should be on guard agin
frauds , and &h. I should be on the
look out for the infitmus lise of the
enemy, got up jes 1204. eleeshun for
perlitical efreck. When all wits over,
and my candydate was elected, I
should move heving & arth—so to
speak—until I got orifice, which if I
didn't git a orifice, I should turn round
& aboose the Administration with all
my mite & mains. lint I'm not in the
bisniss. I'm in a far more respectfitl
hisn iss nor wot pollertics is. I Wouldn't
give two cents to be a Congresser.—
The wuss insult I ever received was
when sertin citizens of Paldinsville
axed me to run fur the Legislator.—
Sez I, "My friends; dostest - think I'd
stoop to that then ?" They turned as
white as a sheet—l spoke in my most
orfullest tones, & they knowd I wasn't
to be trifled with. They slunked out
of site to onet.
Theret Kevin no politics, I made
bold to visit Old Abe at his humstid
in Springfield. I found the old Miler
in his parlor, surrounded by a perfeek
swarm of orifice seekers. Knowin be
had been capti.ig of a flat boat on the
roarin Nississippy, I thought I'd ad
dress him in sailor lingo, so 805
" Old Abe, ahoy ! Let oat yer main
suls, reef bum the forecastle & throw
ycr jib-poop overboard! Shiver my
timbers, my harty !" [N. B.—This is
ginuine mariner langwidfr. I know,
beeawz I've seen sailor plays acted out
by them New York theater fcllers."]
Old Abe lookt up quite cross & sez,
" Send in yer petition by & by. I
can't possibly look at it now. Indeed,
I can't. It's onpossiblo, sir I"
" 211 r. Linkiv, who do you spcct
'am, ?" sod I.
" A orifice seeker, to be sure,"' sod
" Wall, sir," sod I, " you's -never
more mistaken in your life. You hain't
got a orifice I'd take under no circum
stances. I'm A. Ward. Wax figgers
is my pr_ofeslum. I'm the father.of
Twins, and they look me--both of
them. 1 cum to pay a frendly visit to
the President elect of the United
States. If so be you wants to See
mo, say so-----if not, say .50, and I'm orf
like a Jug--handle."
"Mr. Ward, sit dotrif. Lam glad
to see yon; sir."
"Repose in Abraham's Ilizzumr_L
sed one of thii orifice seekerp, his idee
bon to get orf a goak at my expellee.
"Wall" su m ', "ef all you fel re
pose, in that fikerc Buzzum, thei7ll be
irlity poor nussin for GUM of you
whereupon Old Abe buttoned his wes
kit (dear up and blusht like a inaiding
of sweet 10. Jest at this pint of the
conversation another swarm of orifice
seekers arrove and cum pilin into the
parlor. Sam wanted post orifices, sum
wanted collectorships, sum wanted
furrin missions, and all wanted sum
thin. I thought Old Abe would go
crazy. 130 hadn't more than' bad
time to'slialte hands with 'cm, before
another tremenjis crowd cum porein
into his premises. His house and
dooryard was now perfeckly overflow
ed with orifice seekers, all clamerd,qs
for a immejit interview with Old Abe.
One man from Ohio, who had about
seven inches of corn whiskey into him,
mistook me fur Old Abe, linct addresst
me as "The, Pra-hayrie Flower of the
WeA ‘." T.V . ml:s I, you want a. ()VIAQC,
putty bad. Another man with a gold
headed cane and a red nose, told Old
Abe lie was "a seekind Washington
the Pride of the BonodEs Wnst)"
Sez I," Square, you wouldn't take a
small post orifice if you - could git it,
would you ?"
Sem he, "a patrit is Any them
things, sir!"
There's a patty big crop of patrits
this season, hain't there Square ?" sez
I, when (mother crowd of orifice seek,
ors pored in. The house, door-yard,
barn and wood-shed was now all hill,
and when another crowd cum. I told
'cm not to go way for want of room,
as the hog-pen was still empty. One
patrit from a small town in Misygan,
went up on top the house, got into the
chimney and slid down into the pitrler
where Old be was encleverin to keep
the hungry pack of orifice seekers from
chawin him up alive without benefit of
clergy. The minit he reached the fire
place, he jumpt up, brusht the soot out
of his eyes, and yelled :, " Don't make
any pintment at the Spunkville Post
Orifice till you've read my papers.—.:
All the respectful men in our town is
signers to that there dockyment !"
" Good God !" cride Old Abe, " they
cum upon me from the skim, down the
chimneys, and from the bowels of the
yearth 1" no hadn't more'n got them
words out of his delikit mouth before
two fat orifice beetle rs from Wisconsin,
in endeverin to crawl aLween his legs
for the purpuss of applyin for the toll
ga tesh ip at Milwawky, upset the Presi
dent deck, and he would hey gone
sprawlin into they fireplace, if 1 hadn't
caught him in these 111'1118. Bat I
hadn't more'n stood him up strate be
fore another man cum erashin down
the chimney, his head strikin me vi
lently agin the inards and prostratin
my voluptous form onto the f100r..-=
" Mr. Linkin," shontid the infatooate,d,
being, " my papers is signed . by every
clergyman in our town, and likewise
the schoolmaster 1"
Sez I, ." You °veils gittin np &
brushin thejlust from my eyes, "I'll
sign your papers with this bunch of
bones, if you don't be a little more
keerful bow you make my bread bag
kit a depotln.the ftter. Row do you
like that air perfumery'?" sez I, sku - v-,
in my - fist under his nose. "There's
the kind of papers I'll giv you! them's
the papers !pm want l"
TERMS, $1,50 a 'year in
" But. I workt hard fbr the'ticka;
toiled night and day ! The patrit
shOuld be rewarded !"
" yirtoo " sed I, holdin the infatooa
ted mini b
ay.the coat-collar, " virtoo,
sir, is its own reward. Looc at me !"
Ire, did look at me, & qualed bel- my
gaze. "'The fact is," I- con tinnerd, look
in round upon the hungry crowd,
" there is scarcely a orifice for every ile
lamp carried round durin this cam
pane. I wish there was furrin mishuns
to -be filled -on- -varis lonely islands
whare eppyclenfies rage ,ineessantly,
and if I was in Old Abe's place I'd
send' every mother's son 'of you - to
theM. What air you here for ?"
continnered, wannin up considerable,
" can't you give Abe a miuitt's peace?
Don't you see he's worried most to
death ? Go home, you miserable men,
go hoine & till the silo! Go to ped
dlin tinware—go - to choppin wood—:
go to bilin cope—stuff sassengers—git
a clerkship on some respectable man
ure eart—go round as original Swiss
Bell Ringers— becum origenal and
only' Campbell MinstrelS—go' to lee
thrill at fifty dollars a nite--iinbark in
the peanut bisniss—write for the Ledg
er—saw off your legs and go round
' :4vin concerts with tochin appeals to a .
charitable public, printed on your
handbills—anything for a honest livin,
but don't come round here drivin old
Abe crazy by your outrajus cuttings
up! Go home. Stand not upon the
order of your goin, but go to onct !
If in five minuits from this time,"
sez I, pullin out my new sixteen dollar
huntin cased watch, and brandishing
it before their eyes, " if in five miunits
from this time a single sole of you re
mains on these here premises, go
out to my cage near by,' and let my
Boy Constructor loose ! & if he Bits
aiming you, you'll think Old Solferino
has coin agin and no mistake !" You
ought to hey seen them scamper, Mr.
Fair. They rim orf as the Satun his
self was after them with a red-hot ten
pronged pitch-foark. In live minnits
the premises was clear. ,
" How kin I. ever repay you, Mr.
- Ward, for your kindness ?" sed Old
Abe, advancin & shakin ,nie warmly
by the hand. How kin I ever repay
you, sir -
givin the whole country a good
sound ildministration.. By poren' ile
upon the troubled waters, North' and
South ! By pumoin a patriotic. firm
and just ei'--trse, and that if say state
wants to secede, Form secede !"
llow 'bout my Cobalt, Ministre
Ward ?" sed Abe.
" Fill . it up with showmen, sir.—
Showmen is devoid of politics. [They
hain't :,g•cot darn principle.] They
know how to cater to the public.—
The? know' *hat the public wants,
North and 'South. - Showmen,
.i. -, St:mem . -- Nfry"-OTirratthrflie ta m ,
arybility look at their _posters see
sinall bills. If you -vault a Calmit as
is a Cabnit, fill it up with showmen,
but don't call on me. The Moral wax
figger perfeshun mustn't be permitted
to go down while there's a drop of
blood in these rains I A Linkin, I
wish you well. If Powers or Walcut t
Was to pick out a model for a beautiful
man; I scarcely think they'd scalp
you ; .but if you do the thir thing by
your country you'll mako as putty a
angel as any of us, or any other man !
A `Linkin, use the talents which Na
tare has 'put into you, judislaisly and
firmly, and all will be well ! 'A Linkin,
*He shook me cordgully by the hand
—we exchanged picters so we could
wake, upon each other's liniments when
far away from one anotherhe at tlic'
helium of the ship of State, , and.l at
the Ml= of the show hisniss—admit
bmee only fifteen seats.
A GlAltar on Rats.
The _Ye mark N. .Sentinel of _Free
dom: furnishes the following informa‘
tion relative, to that repulsive animal,
tlic.rat :
In the indulgence of their predilec
tion for eggs, rats display great judg
ment. It would appear almost impos
sible for them to carry off such fragile
spoil without breakage; but they do
contrive do so. If the theft is achieved
without a confederate, the rat stretch
es out its fore leg underneath the egg.
steadies it , above with its cheek, and
hops away cautiously upon three legs.
To convey an egg from the bottom to
the top of the house is a still more dif
ficult affair, and probably an impossi
bility for a single rat to perfbrm. With
the aid of a partner, the operation is
thus managed : The male rat stands
upon his head, and lifts up the egg
with his hind legs; the female taking
it thence in her fore paws, secures it
till her kird ascends a step higher; and'
so they proceed from stair to stair, till
their booty is deposited safely in their
hole. A pantry cook had some fine
eggs which she prized 'highly, but the
number of which was mysteriously di
minished night after night. Suspicion,
of course, fell upon the, domestics.—
One of them, a maid : servant, hearing
a noise on the stairs, stole out on the
landing, fancying she might he fcirtu
nate enough to detect the egg pilferer.-
She was not mistaken, although' she
was considerably astiNOtestitt discov
ering who the real miyam were.—L
She saw two rats, one larger than the
other, busily engaged in carrying the
cherished eggs down stairs,- and felt
too interested in watching their pro
ceeding to think of disturbing them.—
The big rat
,stooff 9Atis hind legs,
with his fore 'Paws and head resting
on the steps above; tho lady rat rtilled
the. egg
. gently towarit her spouse;
clasping at gently, bnifirmly, ho lifted
it carefully on the ste# ripen Mat he
, titood, holding it th4s2 until She' canie
•and took charge oflMvhentto descen
ded a step lower, till the clever, ;pair
reached the lowermost floor with their
prize uninjured"
The, wholesale larceny - with' which
tho rat is too justly charged, is crimi
nal enough, in all conscience, butworse
remains behind.
_lie has been known
to'inalte a meal of Ice fingers and locs
of a living baliy. Forty years ago a
pie -maker, finding his delicacies disap
appear, deteimined- to lie in wait in
his bake-house one night, and so catch
th'e'dclinquents, tnroFttunitely,"flicy,
Caught hint, and deyonfell' the mifdr
&mate' pie-ma'n'
'preferei'ice to
pies.' There is one dish'that snore
tempting in The rat's palate tbaii au3;
other, 'and for which lie will deSert,
imj-thing 'in' tho,catahlo world-and
that is a definict•relath'e.
Should two rata agrf3o to_settle, their
differences by Mortal combat, 'their
friends and - acquaintances look on as
coniplaccutly asilistingui shed amateurs
cOnleinplate a fight for the champion
ship. 13,ut immediately the' affair is
concluded by the' death of one of the
combatants; the spectators 'break up,
the ring, and 'ineoUtinentlY set uponla
the victor 'and 'vanquished, and eat
them up then and'there. W 0,166, to
any meeting with an accident; or be- :
comin infirm, for he is 'gobbled" up
without remorse. When a rat's legis
found in atrap; instead its being 'a, .
proof of his resolution in preferring, to
leave a limb`heliinerather thanyemain
in captivity', thechances arc that 'sem°
of .his kith and kin: have eaten hixri
alive. In consequence Of. thisprOpeu
sitY for cannibalism, when Mrs. Rat
bedomes a mother she 'is *Obliged to
hide her offspring,' est 'papa, or some
old gentleman of his acquaintance,
should make hisAinnor of them, Which
he would certainly do if he fot,d them
unprotected. For the same reason,
Wild old rats retire into solitude, dis
gusted with their kind, and if attacked
in their retreat, prove desperate foes,
heat off any rats, without regard to
sex, that venturpto intrude on their
privacy. An old "gentleman of this
description will keep a house clearer
of Vermin than any cat or dog, for ho
will allow no brother near his throne.
NO, 28.
The rat can scarcely bo considered
a courageous animal; ho relies more
upon his cunning than strength, and
in the presence of a superior enemy,
thinks, only of escape; but if rendered
desPerate by being pressed into a:cor
ner, Will eurn savagely—the sewer rat
being more ferocious than his corn
The females breed at three months
old, live in, O t state of polygamy, add
to the vermin population iive or six
times a year, and produce eight, twelve,
fourteen, sixteen, and sometimes as
many as, eighteen young in a litter.—
It has been calculated that in three
years' there will spring no less than
651,000 rats from a single A ffair. Al
though this seems too enormous :a
number to be correct, it would,perhaps
be difficult to over-estimate the num
bers of these animals. 600,000 rats
were killed in Paris in the short space
of a fortnight, merely to obtain their
skins fur a couple of manufacturers at
Grenoble; 6,000 have met their deaths
IVoin the dogs and men at the slaugh
ter-houses of Montfitucon in a month.
At the, present time, Marseilles is over
run with them; traps - and poison prov-_
ing futile against the army of destroy,.
ers, who range even the public stree.ta.,
with impunity; the cats have .f 1,04,1 , 11.
affright ; and the only reliancs of, tho:
inhabitants liesjOhe arrival of a cargo
of English terriers, those little' cham
pions ,ofpit alone being. of any.
avail a atitthe invading host.
„: 4= OurrTow. - :). •
will'boaOMe of theni(l;
thi;tiquiestions,'and.- - 16 - every. day
with serious solicitude bYiut - elligeut,
and thoughtful parents. The rich and
the poor hare a like ambition to Tat
their sons in good places ; , they take
more pains to ,seTeCt,phices ~~hich gill.
honor their Sons, than to snake their -
sons capable Of honorable places.- z Tho
inquiry should knot for a place Jid g e,
enOugh for a son; but 'llO7 to prepare,
a son to fill a, place with' profit. to
those who may call him to it,-and
with credit to himself. ,
An m wient and honorectfamilY-name
ih this city has been ineffaceably. tar- ,
unshed lately, by using family influence
to get one of its members into a pfac,,,
of very high trust and •responsibility ;
an' ()Mee for whteh he was so utterly,
incompetent, that
_its' acconnttnOvo
pa. into inextricable confasioni--whilo
he him - self, charg ed with a degrading
CriMC,IMS been led in chains tO a felon's
cell, in a state of bodily health which
melts the hardest heart with pity, while
Ids venerable mother ls made - to WOOL,
tears of blood over the sadmi . sfortutues
of the child of her heart... ; • •
Inquire then what your child is :t
for r rather than what will fit him; the .
Presidency of • the Rbpnblic ,is fit for
him, but., ho, may not bo :fit for it;' it
may receive, him,
but ho may not,:be
able to fill it with ability-and honor.—
That office is for any men, the . great.
est and the best, but yonr• son might.".
'not be fit for it; to. occupy it and
.fill it; to discharge its duties with fidel
ity. You must, seek a, place adapted,..
-your son's capabilities,. for you,may
not adapt his capabilities to a
Seek a place for 'him, which he
honor by elevating it, and making- it •.
the more influential; but do not seek .
to put him in a position which' is ',to .
honor him. , You are a It ,
is neither safe nor respectable nor.wise
to bring any youth -to manhood with.- _
*out a calling, without an occupation
by whickhe could maintain himself in
case he should'' lose :his fortune.l,,ln
looking armind for such a calling,'in- •
stead Ofmaking the inquiry what you,
like hint to become, seek rather 'to'
know what occupation is suited to his
capacities- 7 --what calling his abilities •
eau fill. You might won, like him-to.
become an eminent lawyor,-but has he
that plodding and that tenacity of pur-.",
pose,,whieh will enable him to inves'-
tigate and ,compare and dedithe with
unerring accuracy for forty yearfl,hc, '
fore he can he:fairly able to commence
practice , You might like far. him to
become a physician, but has.. he, the
self-denial: to off ;flesh Trona: dead:
piens' bones,to live in the charnel-liotiso
for long years together ; and the - Owl()
the patience to wait for
other long years; and the self-saeritiee,
to goat; of 'nine() or 'pan;
per in the Midi - tights of Dedeinber,
the fierce suns. of July, in rain: or storm
or sleet or snow lre,do 'thin un
til forty _years.. of
.ago,for •a.hare, sub,.
sistence; before he - can ,inake patients, :
come , to, him : inblead going ,
thcin _ t,„
Pe'rhaps . your bent, burns to make
;link flinister, amt iu rapt-imaging--
t ion peoxing,beymlit,Oe shod es
yoa:,spo Rouit?, „tuil., : arpl}angql
leailing along his vast battalions to tip
great while throne., sa)-ing * - I.lvro iim
the im,lrumentally Thou hest made,