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LADIES' ONE PRICE FANCY FUR
STORE!
ante with the "One &ice
Princip/e," I have marked at the lowest possible prices con
sistent with a reasetablo profit, I would solicit a visit
from those in want of Furs for either ladies' or childrens'
wear, and an inspection of my selection of those goods,
satisfied, as I am, of my ability to please in every desired
essential.
, '4l Persons at a distance, who may find it inconveni
',ent to call personally, need only name the article they
wish, together with the price, and instructions for send
ing, and forward the order to my address—money accom
panying—to insure a satisfatory compliance with their
wishes.
August 22,1860.-sm.
VALUABLE TAVERN STAND
FOR SALE
The undersigned offers for sale, that fine and profitable
stand, in the borough of Huntingdon, fronting on Alle
gheny street, opposite the Broad Top Coal Depot, and
known as " The Broad Top Muse."
The house is furnished with bedding, &C., all of which,
belonging to tho undersigned, will be sold with the
house.
This stand is one of the best in the county, and owing
to its favorable location, always has a large run of custom.
Possession will be given on the Ist day-of April next.—
Those wishing to purchase, will call upon Thomas P.
Campbell, Esq., who will make known the terms, &c.
Ang. 22, 1860.-3 m. A. 1110E1MS.
AINES BROS.' OVERSTRUNG
k : - GRANT) ACTION
PIANO FORTES,
Celebrated for superior quality of TONE and eleganceand
Le'nay of finish. These Pianos have alivays taken the
FIRST PREMIUM when placed in competition with oth
er makers. CHALLENGE ALL comm.:ll7loN. A splendid as
sortment of LOUIS XIV and plainer styles always on
hand. Also Second-hand Pianos and PRINCE'S IM
PROVED MELODEONS from 545 to $350.
Every Instrument warranted.
GEO. b. WALKER'S
Piano and Melodeon Depot,
S. E. Cor. ith & Arch Sts., Philadelphia.
July 25, 1860.—0 m.
STEW AIR LINE ROUTE TO NEW
YORK.
4V , MMOoiI
F t iVr4r" ,i tr" 4--1
_
SHORTEST IN DISTANCE AND QUICK-
•
EST IN TIME
BETWEEN TILE TWO CITIES OF NEW YORK AND
HARRISBURG! VIA READING, ALLENTOWN
AND EASTON.
MORNIN. a EXPRESS, West, leaves New York at 6 A. M.,
arriving at Harrisburg at 12.45 noon, only 6, 3 4' boors be
tween the two cities.
MAIL LINE leaves New York at UM noon, and arrives
at Harrisburg at 8.30 P. H.
MORNING MAIL LIES, East. leaves Harrisburg at S.OO A
H., arriving at New York at 4.30 P. M.
AFTERNOON EXPRESS LINE. East, 'leaves Harrisburg at
1.15 P. H., arriving at New York at 9.00 P.
Connections are made at Harrisburg at 1.00 P. M., with
the passenger Trains in each direction on the Pennsylva
nia, Cumberland 'Valley and Northern Central Railroad.
All trains connect at Reading with trains for Pottsville
and Philadelphia, and at Allentown for Manch Chunk,
Easton, &c.
No change of Passenger Cars or Eaggag,e between New
York and Harrisburg, by the 6.00 A. M. Line from New
York or the the 1.15 I'. H. from Harrisburg.
For beauty of scenery, add speed, comfort and accom
modation, this route presents superior inducements to the
traveling public.
Fare between New York and Harrisburg five dollars.—
For tickets and other information apply to
J. J. CLYDE, General Agent, Harrisburg.
July 18, 1860.
C.l._ A. &E. A. LANDELL,
‘Ji
No. 110 North Wharves, Philadelphia,
MANUFACTURE AND HAVE FOR SALE
CANDLES,
Spermaceti, Patent Sperm, hydraulic, Adamantine, hotel,
Car and Tallow Candles.
OILS,
Pare Sperm, Lardßlew:lied Whale, Sea Elephant, Strained
Whale, Tanners', Carriers', Palm, Oleinc, and Red Oils.
SOAPS,
White, Yellow, Brown, Chemical Olive, Fancy, and other
Soaps.
Aug. 15, 18.60.-3 m.
I_ 4 IARMERS' & DEALERS' HEAD
QUARTERS 11
HANCOCK, CAMP A; CO., Produce and General Com
mission Merchants, No. 47, North Water St., below Arch
St., Philadelphia.
Agents for alt Guano's Super Phosphates of Lime,
Poudretteo, and other kinds of Fertilizers.
.4. - r& - All descriptions of Country Produce taken in ex
change or sold on Cinmaission.
iziy- Quick sales and immediate returns are guaranteed
"upon all consignments.
-We are the sole Agents for the best articles of Vin
egar made in this city and elsewhere.
July IS, 1860.-6 m.
COAL OIL!! COAL OIL!!
Tames A. Brown sells the genuine " PORTLAND LIMO
UNE," on COAL OIL, clear as water.
This is the only kind of oil that gives entire satisfaction
as an agent for light.
-Beware of counterfeits and colored carbon oils. They
emit an offensive smell and smoke.
A large variety also of
COAL OIL LAMPS,
Chimneys, Globes, Wicks, Burners, Shades, &c., &c., sold
at the very lowest prices, at the hardware Store, Hunting
don, Pa.
Huntingdon, July 25,1860.
FRANKLIN EIOUSE,
nv- rErE-DLutazvv,
HUNTINGDON, PA
VALENTINE CROUSE, Proprietor
The citizens of the county, and strangers and travelers
generally, will find comfortable accommodations at this
house. Give us a trial- [April 4,1660.1
fI_ALL at D. P. G-WIN'S if you want
V,) GOOD GOODS.
-DARK Colored Palm Hoods, best qual
ity, only 50 cts. each. FISHER & SON.
T HE best Tobaccoln town, at
' D. P. GWIN'S
ASplendid variety of Carpets, only
25 cts. per yard. FISHER 8: SON.
ARPET Sacks and Fancy Baskets at
D. P. GIVIN'S.
$1 50
OIIN FAREIRA,
). 718 Arch St., between
7th & Bth Sts.,
PIIILADELP,TIIA. y
ate of 81S Market St )
Importer,
Manufacturer of and
oiler in all kinds of
FANCY FURS.
Having removed to my
lw Store, 718 Arch St.,
d being now engaged
,tirely in the manutac
ire and sale of Fancy
ers, which, in accord-
trurf
WILLIAX LEWIS,
VOL. XVL
`,Vg.etxp . .
MY SISTER.
1=I=!
I've a little sister bright;
With her face so full of light,
Dimpled arms, and snowy white
Sweat as the rose
Eyes of deepest, darkest blue,
Shining hair of golden hue,
Lips like roses filled with dew ;
Pure as the lilly.
Gently as the flowing stream,
As the sun's bright golden beam,
May thy life glide on serene,
Sweet sister mtne
a stLett citou.
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.
BY HORATIO ALGER, JR.
Charles Gray was a master mechanic in
the receipt of an excellent income—sufficient
to lay aside a handsome sum every year, be
sides supporting his wife and child in com
fort. At the time our story commences he
was the owner of a pleasantcottage, and had
besides one thousand dollars deposited in the
Savings Bank. Ms prospects for the future
seemed bright, but a cloud wasalready gath
ering in the clear sky.
One night at the request of a friend he
stepped inty a gaming house, " just from cu
riosity." It was a brilliant scene. - A large.
hull resplendent with light, softly carpeted
and luxuriously furnished, it looked to
Charles Gray, who was used to much hum
bler appointments, like the great hall in
Aladdin's palace.
From this evening dated Charles Gray's
fall. The curiosity which he had at - first
felt gave place to a strong feeling of interest,
and at last he was induced to play fora small
stake.
Mrs. Gray felt that a change was coming
over her husband. Heabsented himself, near
ly every evening,and when questioned as to the
cause, he vaguely mentioned that he had
joined a " club." His manner too became
restless and his temper uncertain.
One day he inquired for the book of de
posits upon the Savings Bank, which his
wife had always kept.
His wife handed it to him without suspi
cion, supposing that he intended to make a
deposit. How far thins was from being true
we shall best learn by accompanying him to
the gaining-house in the evening.
Beside a table in one corner of the room
was seated a dark complexioned man, with
abundance of hair on his face, and expression
'far from prepossessing. Charles Grlfy join
ed him.
" I have been waiting for you," he said.—
" So you have concluded to try your luck
again. That's right. Never be dishearten
ed by an occasional loss."
Charles had lost two hundred dollars by
him the night before.
" I was careless last night," replied Gray.
" f will try to play better to-night."
The gau:lster smiled scarcely perceptible.
In that though Charles knew it not,
his discomfiture was foreshadowed.
" What shall be the stake ?" he inquired.
" We will begin with the amount of my
loss last night," said Charles, throwing down
two hundred dollars.
" Good."
Gamblers are keen observers. From the
expression, "we will begin," Gray's oppo
nent judged that he had a considerably larger
sum in reserve.
Accordingly, feeling entirely certain of his
prey, whenever he choose to stoop for it, he
intentionally played a poor game,and Charles
with exultation which he could with difficnl
ty repress, found himself victor.
His bpponent exclaimed with well counter
feited chagrin, "I believe fortune has desert
ed me."
" Shall we have another game ?" asked
Charles, eagerly.
" Name the stakes."
" Twelve hundred dollars," said the me
chanic, naming the aggregate of his deposit
with the amount just won.
"It is a large sum," said his opponent,
with feigned reluctance. " However I won't
be backward. Twelve hundred dollars let it
be."
It was easy for him to play with Charles
Gray, as the cat plays with the mouse. He
was fully resolved to win, but not feeling
certain whether there might not be more be
hind, he thought it politic to make the game
a close one. At length fortune declared in
his favor.
" I thought I was on the point of defeat,"
he said, breathing a sigh of apparent relief.
" That was a close game. You are a pretty
even match for me. Shall we play again ?"
Charles was overwhelmed by his defeat.—
He represented to himself what his wife
would say when she learned that the deposit
which had given them such a sense of secu
rity, had been swept away by one night's
folly. And yet the game was close. A trifle
and he might have won—as he might again.
The result was that he staked his note for
an equal amount. Without followinc , the
details of the games which succeeded,' it is
enough to say that when Charles Gray left
the gaming-house he had not only lost all the
money he had brought with him, but four
thousand dollars more, on a note, of thirty
days, this being the value of his house.
When he entered his home, of late so cheer
ful, now only suggesting the thought of his
execrable folly, his wife was terrified by the
wildness of his appearance.
" 'What is the matter, Charles?" she
asked.
" Nothing," said ho, gloomily.
" But I know something is the matter.—
You are sick !"
" I wish I were. I wish it were anything
but what it is."
" You have not committed crime ?" asked
his wife, filled with an undefinable apprehen
sion.
7
'l(2 •
" •
D
• "Not in the eye of the law, perhaps," re
plied-Charles, with keen reproach, " but it is
acrime nevertheless."
"Tell me the worst," replied Lis wife.—
" Perhaps it is not so bad as it seems."
- !`You won't say so when you know what it
is. Suppose I tell you that by a bad invest
ment I bad lost all our property."
" House and all ?" inquired Mrs. Gray,
turning pale.
" Yes, every cent.. Isn't that as bad as
can be ?"
Mrs. Gray was nearly overpowered for the
moment. She had always been prudent,and
economical, though far from parsimonious,
and had taken great pride in her husband's
property and the degree of independence
which they had already acquired. Was she
to blame' or looking forward to a time when
her husband might be rich enough to retire
from business if he should choose, on a'com
petence which would place them above the
contingencies of fortune ? At:all - events this
was the day-dream which Mrs: Gray had en
tertained, and that scattered it in - 4a thous
and pieces was a rude one. It:Was on her
lips to say, " How could yogi,,bet-do impru
dent, Charles ?" but a g:ance ht hei•husband's
pale, anxious countenance, awakened all the
wife within her,aur„l, she said with an attempt
at cheerfulness :
" It is bad enough, Charles, but it might
be worse. We were getting too fond of mon
ey, perhaps, and this may be an admonition
of Providence. After all, you have a good
trade,, „and may win back what you have
lost."
" It will take a long time."
" Perhaps so, but we are young yet. We
may yet acquire a competency for our later
years.
"Should Charles Gray leave it so?" Would
it be right to have his wife to believe that he
had lost his property by a poor investment,
and conceal from her the real cause. He was
strongly tempted, but thanks to his better na
ture he resolved to make a clean breast of it.
" Mary," said he, " I haven't told you the
worst yet."
" What!" said nis wife turning pale.—
" Have you run into debt, besides ?"
"It isn't that. We have not only lost our
property, though that is enough in all con
science, but I didn't tell you how it was
dono,"-
" Wasn't it by a bad investment ?"
" Bad enough, Mary, and worse than you
imagine. It was lost at the gaming-table."
Poor Mary 1 It was indeed a bad thing to
become reconciled to. She had been brought
up to hold the gaming house in utter horror,
and the thought that her husband had fre
quented it was even worse than his loss of
property.
" I knew you wouldn't forgive me," said
Charles, despondingly.
" Poor Charles," she said, pityingly, "you
were led away, lam sure. Promise me that
yoU never will enter a gaming-house again."
" I no'er will as long as I live," replied
Charles, ei4rnestly, " at least to play; but he
added with renewed despondency, " what is
the use of saying that ! It is only locking
the stable door after the horse is stolen."
" No," said Mary, " if it has cured you of
this destructive habit, we can aford to lose
our property."
In this way she endeavored to cheer her
husband, but he felt too keenly his culpable
folly to be easily consoled.
The next day he was feverish, and did not
go out to his business. His despondency
seemed to increase upon him.
In this time of trouble Mary bethought
herself of an uncle—an ex-sea captain, who
had retired from service with a handsome
competence. She thought he naignt be able
to cheer her husband, and perhaps council
him as to what course it would be best for
him to take.
Without communicating her intention to
her husband, she tripped over to Captain
Barton's dwelling.
The Captain was reading a morning paper
over his coffee. In a few words she made
known her errand.
"It is a bad business," said the captain,
shaking his head.
" Do you think Charles is so very much to
blame ?" asked Mrs. Gray, willing to shield
her husband.
" As to that," said Captain Barton, laying
down his paper, "if he is, I'm not the man
to be hard upon him. Those that live in glass
houses shouldn't throw stones."
" Why, uncle, you don't mean to say that
you ever visited the gaming-house."
" Yes I do," said the captain. "It was
when I was younger and mayhap more fool
ish than lam now. I won't tell you how
much I lost, but it didn't happen without my
finding out some of their tricks."
" What, don't they play fair," inquired
the guileless Mrs. Gray
" Fair I I should say not, except when
they are compelled to. I haven't the least
doubt but your husband was tricked out of
his money."
" It is hard to give up our pleasant home,
but I suppose it can't be helped!'
" Avast there 1" said the captain. " Per
haps matters ain't so bad. I've a good mind
to take up your husband's cause myself, and
shiver a lance in his behalf."
"How, uncle ?"
"In this way. If Charles will go with me
to the gaming-house and introduce me to the
sharper that fleeced him, I'll win back his
money."
" No, no, uncle," said Mary, in terror,—
" I don't want you to lose your money too."
" Who talks of losing money ? I mean to
win it."
" But he will cheat you as he did Charles?"
" Perhaps he will," said the captain, sig
nificantly. " I rather think I know enough
to detect his tricks. He'll find me quito a
different customer from Charles."
The captain's confidence at length remov
ed Mary's fears, and she consented to his
making the trial.
Her uncle at once went over to the cottage
to see Charles. A few cheering words had
a wonderful effect in removing the latter's
despondency,. and it was agreed that they
should go over the nest evening.
-PERSEVERE.-
HUNTINGDON, PA.. OCTOBER 17, 1860.
"Now,"•.said Captain Burton, "I am sup
posed to be a pretty good mimic. The part
I am going to take for this occasion is that of
an old farmer from Vermont, slightly unsop
histicated, but with plenty of tin. I must be
oa' , and "make myself up" accordingly.
The evening arrived.
- Charlep Gray and his uncle entered the
gaming-house, The latter was admirably
" made up" for the occasion. Few who looked
at him and heard his broad pronunciation
would have dreamed that he had ever before
been fifty miles from home.
As they were looking on, Charles Gray's
old acquaintance espied :them, and walking
up, greeted Charles. He looked inquiringly
at Captain Barton.
" Mr. Eliphalet Barton, of Vermont," said
Charles, introducing him.
" I am delighted to see you, Mr. Barton,"
said the sharper. " Shall you remain long
in town ?"
"About a week, I guess. Nephew Charles
told me there was a good deal to be seen, and
I'm bound to see the lions. Pesky big place
Boston is."
" Very."
After a letter more conversation of this
kind, the sharper, who, from some hints
which had been dropped, wan led to believe
Captain Barton a man of wealth, invited the
pair to play.
" As to that," said Charles, "I think I will
look on, but possibly my uncle will be willing
to take a hand."
The latter said he always liked " keerds,"
and finally sat down to the table.
Captain Barton was victor in the first game,
at the result of which he expressed his exul
tation loudly.
" I've got you fairly hooked," thought his
opponent.
Meanwhile Barton, though apparently in
tent upon his own game, watched his adver
sary's play with the sharpest attention. At
the close of the evening he was a loser to the
amount of two hundred and fifty dollars. Ile
was equally loud in expressing his chagrin,
and in his complaints of his '' confounded
luck."
" Perhaps you will be more lucky next
time," suggested the sharper.
" I say," said Barton, " will you be here
to-morrow night?"
" Yes," was the eager reply. "May I
hope for a farther trial?"
" I'll try again," said Barton, "if I lose
every cent of the six thousand dollars I
brought with me."
At the mention of this sum, the sharper's
eyes sparkled.
"Charles," said Captain Barton, on the
way - home, " to-morrow night I shall win
back all you have lost."
" How can you be so confident, uncle ?
own that I tremble for you."
" Tush, Charles; I know a thing or two.—
I read that fellow's play as easily as I can
A B C. .
" How was that ?"
" I will tell you. As I supposed he doesn't
trust to fortune, but is willing to help her a
little. On each one of the court cards there
is a little mark, too minute to attract the at
tention of one who is not initiated, which be
ing varied in position for each tells him un
erringly what high cards his opponent has."
"But how did you have a chance to find
that out?"
" You noticed how lon g it took me to shuf
fle and how awkwardly did it. Well all
that time I was studying those cards, and
this with the attention I could give when
playing was sufficient."
"I had no idea how sharp you were, un
cle."
"It's well you are beginning to appreciate
me," said the captain, good-humoredly.--
" But it's time we were at home."
" One question more. Ilow can you avail
yourself of your knowledge ?"
" I shall purchase a pack of cards precise
ly like those this fellow uses, and mark them
with his own marks, only the marks shall be
on the low cards. Before we play for a heavy
stake I will take the opportunity to exchange
them."
"But won't he discover it ?"
" Of course he will smell a rat, but do you
think he will dare to say anything? As sure
as he does I shall exhibit his own cards.
Late the next evening a ring was beard at
the door of Charles Gray. Captain Barton
was admitted.
" Well, uncle, how did you succeed ?" ex
claimed both in a breath.
" Here's your note, Charles," was the re
ply, " and here's the money you lost."
" And then your plan succeeded ? Tell
us about it."
"You see," said the captain, " I went in
to-night. I found the land pirate lying in
wait for me. Ile was-very glad to see me.—
I could see his eye sparkle with the hope he
had of cleaning me out and leaving me high
and dry. The first two games were only for
a small stake.. He let me win Next time I
proposed to play for an amount which would
cover your losses. Ile didn't object much.—
Before beginning (it was my turn to shuffle)
I managed to exchange his pack for mine.—
Well, the upshot of it was that the marks led
him all astray, and I had no difficulty in beat
ing. -By that time he began to think some
thin..?b was to pay, and undertook to make a
fuss, but a few words from me calmed him
down pretty quick, and decided that he had
better let it pass. I reckon he will be a lit
tle shy of strangers ' from Varmount ' here
after.'
" Uncle," said ilharles, grasping his hand
warmly, "you have saved me from the conse
quences of my folly. How shall I thank you?"
"By resolving," said Captain Barton, se
riously, " never again to enter a gaming
house, or making even the smallest sum on
the chances of a game. Are you willing to
do - this ?"
"I am; and with God's help I will keep
my resolution."
ZEl5`- Slanders, issuing from red and beauti
ful lips, are like foul spiders crawling from
the blushing heart of a rose.- -
ta- Reading matter on every page
The following affecting narrative purports to
have been given by a father to his son, as a
warning derived from his own, bitter experi
ence of the sin of grieving and resisting a
mother's love and counsel.
What agony was visible on my mother's
face when she saw that all she said and suf
fered failed to move me I She rose to go
home and I followed at a distance. She spoke
no more to me till she reached her own door.
"it is school time now," said she. " Go,
my son, and once more let me beseech you to
think upon what I have said."
" I shan't go to school," said I.
She looked astonished at my boldness but
replied firmly.
" Certainly you will go, Alfred I command
you."
" I will not," said I, in a tone of defiance.
"One of the two you must do, Alfred--
either go to school this morning, or I will
lock you in your room and keep you there
till you are ready to promise implicit obe
dience to my wishes in the future."
"I dare you to do it, you can't get me up
stairs."
" Alfred choose now," said my mother who
laid her hand upon my arm. She trembled
violently and was deadly pale.
"If you touch me I will kick you," said I
in a terrible rage. God knows I knew not
what I said.
" Will you go, Alfred ?"
" No," I replied, but quailed beneath her
eve.
" Then follow me," said she, as she grasped
my arm firmly.
I raised my foot and kicked—her, my saint
ed mother ! How my head reels as the tor
rent of memory rushes over me I I kicked
my mother—a feeble woman—my mother !
She staggered back few steps, and leaned
against the wall. She did nut look at me,
bnt I saw her heart bent against her breast.
" Ohl Heavenly Father, " said she, " for
give him—he knows not what he does ?"
The gardener had just then passed the door
and seeing my mother pale and almost una
ble to support himself, he stopped.
She beckoned him in.
" Take this boy up stairs, and lock him in
his room," said she, and turned from me.—
Looking back as she was entering her room
she gave me such a look of agony mingled
with the most intense love !—it was the last
unutterable pang from Ei heart that was brok
en.
In a moment I found myself a prisoner in
my own room. I thought for a moment I
would fling myself from the window and dash
my brains out, but I was afraid to do it. I
was not penitent. At times my heart was
subdued ; but my stubborn pride rose in an
instant, and bade me not yield. The pale
face of my mother haunted me. I flung my
self on the bed and fell asleep. Just at twi
light I heard a footstep approach the door.—
It was my sister.
" What may I tell my mother for you ?"
she asked.
" Nothing," I replied.
" Oh, Alfred ! for my sake, for all our sakes
say that you are sorry. She longs to forgive
you."
I would not answer. I heard her footsteps
slowly retreating and again I threw myself
upon the bed, to pass another wretched and
fearful night.
Another footstep slower and feebler than
my sister's disturbed me. A voice called me
by name. It was my mother's.
Alfred, my son, shall I come?" she asked.
I cannot tell what influence operating at
that moment made me •speak adverse to my
feelings. The gentle voice of my mother
thrilled through me, and melted the ice of
my obdurate heart, and I longed to throw
myself. on her neck, hat I did not. But my
words gave the lie to my heart when I said I
was not sorry. I heard her groan. I longed
to call her back, but I did not.
I was awakened from my uneasy slumber,
by hearing my name called loudly, and my
sisted stood at my bedside.
" Get up, Alfred. Oh, don't wait a minute
Mother is dying !"
I thought that I was yet dreaming, but I
got up mechanically and followed my sister.
On the bed, pale and cold as marble lay my
mother. She had thrown herself on the bed
to rest ; arising to go again to me, she was
seized again with a palpitation of the .heart,
and borne senseless to her room.
I%ly sister threw her arms around me and
wept in silence. Suddenly we saw a slight
motion of mother's hand, her eyes unclosed.
She had recovered consciousness, but not
speech. She looked at me and moved her
lips. I could not understand her words.—
"Mother, mother•! say only that you forgive
me." She could not say it with her lips, but
her hand pressed mine. She smiled upon
me and lifting her thin white hands, she
clasped my bands within them, at•d cast her
eyes upward. She moved her lips in prayer,
and thus she died. 'remained still kneeling
beside that dead form, till my gentle sister
removed me. The joy of youth had gone for
ever.
• Boys who spurn a mother's control, who
are ashamed to own that they are wrong, who
think it manly to resist her authority, or
yield to her influence, BEWARE ! Lay not
up for yourseves bitter memories for future
years.
ner. A cheerful heart - paints the world as
it finds it, like a sunny landscape ; the mor
bid mind depicts it like a sterile wilderness
pallid with thick vapors, and dark as the
" Shadow of Death." It is the mirror, in
short, on which it is caught, which lends to
the face of nature the aspect of its own turbu
lence or tranquility.
,13C:r. The foreman of a grand jury in• Mis-
souri, after administering an oath to a beau
tiful woman, instead of handing the Bible,
presented his face, and said, "Now kiss the
book madam." He didn't discover his mis
take, until the whole jury burst into a roar
of laughter. _
Editor and Proprietor.
z v I lan t it
A. Touching Story.
Artemus Ward's Interview with the
Prince.
• Artemus Ward, the showman—the man of
many experiences and unlimited humor"—has
seen the Prince. The interview between
these distinguished persons is supposed. to
have taken place at Sarnia, and A. Ward,
Esq., tells his story as follows
Ire handed me a segar & we sot down on
the Pizarro & curantenst smokin' rite cheer
ful.
sez I, "Albert Edward, how's the
old fukes ?"
"Her Majesty & the Prince are awl well,"
he Bed.
"Duz the old man taik his logger reglar ?"
I inquired.
The Prince' larfed and intimaited that the
old man didn't let menny kegs ov that ber
rigs spile in the sellar in the course of a yere.
We sot & tawked there sum thyme abowt
matters & things & bimeby I axed him how
he liked bein a Prince as far as heed got.
' "Tu speke plane, Mr. Ward," he sed; "I
don't much like it. I'm sik ov awl this bow
in & scrapin & krawlin & hurrain over a boy
like me. I wud rather go thru the kuntry
quietly & enjoy miseif in mi own wa, with the
other boys, & not be made a sho or to be garp
ed at by evrybody. When the peple cheer
me I foal plezod, fur I no they meen it, but
if these 1-horse offishuls cood no how I sees
thru there moves & understand exakly what
tha ar after, & node how I larfed at em in
privet, tbayd stop kissin mi hands and fawn
in over me as tha now du. But u no, Mister
Ward, I kant help bein a Prince, & I must
du awl I kin to phit miself fur the perzishion
I must surname okupi."
"That's troo," sez I, "sikness and the dok
tors will karri the Querns orf I ov these daiz,
sure's yer born."
The tyme hevin arove for me to talk my
deeparter, I raze up & sed "Albert Edward
I must go, but previs to duin so, I will ob
sarve that you soot me. Yore a god feller,
Albert Edward, and tho Ime agin Princes as
a gineral thing, I must say I like the cut of
your Gib. When you git to be King try and
be as god a man as yer mother has bin. Be
just and be Jenerus, espeshally to shoman,
who have alters bin abused sinse the daze of
Noa, who wuz the Ist man to go in the Man
ajerry bizness, & if the dalie papers ov his
tyme are to be bleved, Noa's kollekshun ov
livin wild boosts bete anything ever seen sins,
tho I mark bold to dout of his snaikz was abed
of mine. Albert Edward, adoo 1" I tuk his
have which he shuk warmly, and givin hitn
a perpetooal free pars to my sho, & also par
ses to talk Imam two the Quene and Old Al
bert, I put on my hat and walkt awa.
"Mrs. Ward," I solilerquized as I walkt
along, "Mrs. Ward, of you cood sea yur hus
band now, jest as he prowdly emerjis from
the presents or the futur King or Ingland,
youd be sorry you kald him a Beest jest be
caws be cum hom tired 1 nite, and wud go to
bed without takin orf his butes. You'd be
sorry to deprive yore husband of the priseliss
Boon ov liberty, my dear Betsy Jane 1"
NO. 17.
The Man who Don't Pay the Printer.
May he be shod with lightning, and com
pelled to walk over plains of gunpowder.
May every day of his life be more despotie
.than the Dev of Algiers.
May he have sore eyes,and a chestnutburr
for an eye-stone.-
May be never be permitted to kiss a pretty
woman.
May_ his sheets be sprinkled with towage
and with bed bugs, and fleas bo the sharers
of his couch.
Mayo nightmares trot quarter races over
his stomach every night:
May his wife be always cross, and his ba
by_ ever on the squall.
May his demijohn always be full of blue
devil rot gut.
May his boots leak, his gun hang fire, and
his fishing lines break.
May his coffee be sweetened with flies, and
his soup seasoned with spiders.
May a troop of printer's "devils," lean,
lank, gaunt and grim, and a regiment of cats,
catterwaul under his chamber window each
night.
In short, may his business go to ruin, and
he go to the Legislature.
A Toucans - a ArPEAL.—"Morgan spare that
dog, touch not a single hair; he worries many
a hog from out his muddy lair. Oh, when
he was a pup, so frisky and so plump, he lap
ped his milk from a cup, when hungry—at a
jump. And then his funny tricks, so funny
in their place, so full of canine licks upon
bands and face. You will surely let him
lire ! Oh, do not kill him—dead ; he wags
his narrative and prays for life—not lead.—
Go get the muzzle now, and put upon big
mouth, and stop that bow, bow, how I and
tendency to drought. .11 - e is your children's
pet, companion of their joy ; you will not kill
him yet, and thus their hopes destroy. No,
Morgan, spare that pup, and go away from
there !"
A STORY is told of Sully the painter, a man
distinguished for refinement of manners as
well as success in art. At a party one even
ing, Sully was speaking of a certain belle;
vale was a great favorite.
"Ah," says Sully, "she has a mouth like
an elephant."
"Oh, oh 1 Mr. Sully, how could you be so
rude?"
"Rude, ladies, rude 1 What do you mean
I say she has got a mouth like an elephant,
because it's full of ivory."
Zar. A Quaker lately popped the question
to a fair Quakeress thus :
"Hum—yea, verily, Penelope, the spirit
urgeth and moveth me wonderfully to beseech
thee to cleave unto me, flesh of my flesh, and
bone of my bone."
"Ilutn—truly, Obadiah, thou bast wisely
said, and inasmuch as it is not good for man
to be alone, I will sojourn with thee."
An Irishman was once indulging in the
very intellectual occupation of sucking eggs
raw and reading a newspaper. By some mis
chance he contrived to bolt a live chicken.—
The poor bird chirruped as it went down his
throat, and he very politely observed :
"Be the powers, me friend ye spoke too
late 1"
Dar A Missouri editor announces that the
publication of his paper wilt be suspended
for six weeks in order that he may visit St.
Louis with a load of bear-skins, hoop-poles,
shingles, pork, pickled cat-fish,&c., which he
has taken for subscriptions.
Ilic. A man's good fortune often turns his
head ; his bad fortunes as often averts the
heads of his friends.
ne-"Let me kiss Mai mother," is the song
of the ladies where the Prince of Wales is
traveling.
Famo is like an eel—rather hard t;,
c atch and a good deal harder to hold.