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LADIES' ONE PRICE FANCY FUR STORE! ante with the "One &ice Princip/e," I have marked at the lowest possible prices con sistent with a reasetablo profit, I would solicit a visit from those in want of Furs for either ladies' or childrens' wear, and an inspection of my selection of those goods, satisfied, as I am, of my ability to please in every desired essential. , '4l Persons at a distance, who may find it inconveni ',ent to call personally, need only name the article they wish, together with the price, and instructions for send ing, and forward the order to my address—money accom panying—to insure a satisfatory compliance with their wishes. August 22,1860.-sm. VALUABLE TAVERN STAND FOR SALE The undersigned offers for sale, that fine and profitable stand, in the borough of Huntingdon, fronting on Alle gheny street, opposite the Broad Top Coal Depot, and known as " The Broad Top Muse." The house is furnished with bedding, &C., all of which, belonging to tho undersigned, will be sold with the house. This stand is one of the best in the county, and owing to its favorable location, always has a large run of custom. Possession will be given on the Ist day-of April next.— Those wishing to purchase, will call upon Thomas P. Campbell, Esq., who will make known the terms, &c. Ang. 22, 1860.-3 m. A. 1110E1MS. AINES BROS.' OVERSTRUNG k : - GRANT) ACTION PIANO FORTES, Celebrated for superior quality of TONE and eleganceand Le'nay of finish. These Pianos have alivays taken the FIRST PREMIUM when placed in competition with oth er makers. CHALLENGE ALL comm.:ll7loN. A splendid as sortment of LOUIS XIV and plainer styles always on hand. Also Second-hand Pianos and PRINCE'S IM PROVED MELODEONS from 545 to $350. Every Instrument warranted. GEO. b. WALKER'S Piano and Melodeon Depot, S. E. Cor. ith & Arch Sts., Philadelphia. July 25, 1860.—0 m. STEW AIR LINE ROUTE TO NEW YORK. 4V , MMOoiI F t iVr4r" ,i tr" 4--1 _ SHORTEST IN DISTANCE AND QUICK- • EST IN TIME BETWEEN TILE TWO CITIES OF NEW YORK AND HARRISBURG! VIA READING, ALLENTOWN AND EASTON. MORNIN. a EXPRESS, West, leaves New York at 6 A. M., arriving at Harrisburg at 12.45 noon, only 6, 3 4' boors be tween the two cities. MAIL LINE leaves New York at UM noon, and arrives at Harrisburg at 8.30 P. H. MORNING MAIL LIES, East. leaves Harrisburg at S.OO A H., arriving at New York at 4.30 P. M. AFTERNOON EXPRESS LINE. East, 'leaves Harrisburg at 1.15 P. H., arriving at New York at 9.00 P. Connections are made at Harrisburg at 1.00 P. M., with the passenger Trains in each direction on the Pennsylva nia, Cumberland 'Valley and Northern Central Railroad. All trains connect at Reading with trains for Pottsville and Philadelphia, and at Allentown for Manch Chunk, Easton, &c. No change of Passenger Cars or Eaggag,e between New York and Harrisburg, by the 6.00 A. M. Line from New York or the the 1.15 I'. H. from Harrisburg. For beauty of scenery, add speed, comfort and accom modation, this route presents superior inducements to the traveling public. Fare between New York and Harrisburg five dollars.— For tickets and other information apply to J. J. CLYDE, General Agent, Harrisburg. July 18, 1860. C.l._ A. &E. A. LANDELL, ‘Ji No. 110 North Wharves, Philadelphia, MANUFACTURE AND HAVE FOR SALE CANDLES, Spermaceti, Patent Sperm, hydraulic, Adamantine, hotel, Car and Tallow Candles. OILS, Pare Sperm, Lardßlew:lied Whale, Sea Elephant, Strained Whale, Tanners', Carriers', Palm, Oleinc, and Red Oils. SOAPS, White, Yellow, Brown, Chemical Olive, Fancy, and other Soaps. Aug. 15, 18.60.-3 m. I_ 4 IARMERS' & DEALERS' HEAD QUARTERS 11 HANCOCK, CAMP A; CO., Produce and General Com mission Merchants, No. 47, North Water St., below Arch St., Philadelphia. Agents for alt Guano's Super Phosphates of Lime, Poudretteo, and other kinds of Fertilizers. .4. - r& - All descriptions of Country Produce taken in ex change or sold on Cinmaission. iziy- Quick sales and immediate returns are guaranteed "upon all consignments. -We are the sole Agents for the best articles of Vin egar made in this city and elsewhere. July IS, 1860.-6 m. COAL OIL!! COAL OIL!! Tames A. Brown sells the genuine " PORTLAND LIMO UNE," on COAL OIL, clear as water. This is the only kind of oil that gives entire satisfaction as an agent for light. -Beware of counterfeits and colored carbon oils. They emit an offensive smell and smoke. A large variety also of COAL OIL LAMPS, Chimneys, Globes, Wicks, Burners, Shades, &c., &c., sold at the very lowest prices, at the hardware Store, Hunting don, Pa. Huntingdon, July 25,1860. FRANKLIN EIOUSE, nv- rErE-DLutazvv, HUNTINGDON, PA VALENTINE CROUSE, Proprietor The citizens of the county, and strangers and travelers generally, will find comfortable accommodations at this house. Give us a trial- [April 4,1660.1 fI_ALL at D. P. G-WIN'S if you want V,) GOOD GOODS. -DARK Colored Palm Hoods, best qual ity, only 50 cts. each. FISHER & SON. T HE best Tobaccoln town, at ' D. P. GWIN'S ASplendid variety of Carpets, only 25 cts. per yard. FISHER 8: SON. ARPET Sacks and Fancy Baskets at D. P. GIVIN'S. $1 50 OIIN FAREIRA, ). 718 Arch St., between 7th & Bth Sts., PIIILADELP,TIIA. y ate of 81S Market St ) Importer, Manufacturer of and oiler in all kinds of FANCY FURS. Having removed to my lw Store, 718 Arch St., d being now engaged ,tirely in the manutac ire and sale of Fancy ers, which, in accord- trurf WILLIAX LEWIS, VOL. XVL `,Vg.etxp . . MY SISTER. 1=I=! I've a little sister bright; With her face so full of light, Dimpled arms, and snowy white Sweat as the rose Eyes of deepest, darkest blue, Shining hair of golden hue, Lips like roses filled with dew ; Pure as the lilly. Gently as the flowing stream, As the sun's bright golden beam, May thy life glide on serene, Sweet sister mtne a stLett citou. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. BY HORATIO ALGER, JR. Charles Gray was a master mechanic in the receipt of an excellent income—sufficient to lay aside a handsome sum every year, be sides supporting his wife and child in com fort. At the time our story commences he was the owner of a pleasantcottage, and had besides one thousand dollars deposited in the Savings Bank. Ms prospects for the future seemed bright, but a cloud wasalready gath ering in the clear sky. One night at the request of a friend he stepped inty a gaming house, " just from cu riosity." It was a brilliant scene. - A large. hull resplendent with light, softly carpeted and luxuriously furnished, it looked to Charles Gray, who was used to much hum bler appointments, like the great hall in Aladdin's palace. From this evening dated Charles Gray's fall. The curiosity which he had at - first felt gave place to a strong feeling of interest, and at last he was induced to play fora small stake. Mrs. Gray felt that a change was coming over her husband. Heabsented himself, near ly every evening,and when questioned as to the cause, he vaguely mentioned that he had joined a " club." His manner too became restless and his temper uncertain. One day he inquired for the book of de posits upon the Savings Bank, which his wife had always kept. His wife handed it to him without suspi cion, supposing that he intended to make a deposit. How far thins was from being true we shall best learn by accompanying him to the gaining-house in the evening. Beside a table in one corner of the room was seated a dark complexioned man, with abundance of hair on his face, and expression 'far from prepossessing. Charles Grlfy join ed him. " I have been waiting for you," he said.— " So you have concluded to try your luck again. That's right. Never be dishearten ed by an occasional loss." Charles had lost two hundred dollars by him the night before. " I was careless last night," replied Gray. " f will try to play better to-night." The gau:lster smiled scarcely perceptible. In that though Charles knew it not, his discomfiture was foreshadowed. " What shall be the stake ?" he inquired. " We will begin with the amount of my loss last night," said Charles, throwing down two hundred dollars. " Good." Gamblers are keen observers. From the expression, "we will begin," Gray's oppo nent judged that he had a considerably larger sum in reserve. Accordingly, feeling entirely certain of his prey, whenever he choose to stoop for it, he intentionally played a poor game,and Charles with exultation which he could with difficnl ty repress, found himself victor. His bpponent exclaimed with well counter feited chagrin, "I believe fortune has desert ed me." " Shall we have another game ?" asked Charles, eagerly. " Name the stakes." " Twelve hundred dollars," said the me chanic, naming the aggregate of his deposit with the amount just won. "It is a large sum," said his opponent, with feigned reluctance. " However I won't be backward. Twelve hundred dollars let it be." It was easy for him to play with Charles Gray, as the cat plays with the mouse. He was fully resolved to win, but not feeling certain whether there might not be more be hind, he thought it politic to make the game a close one. At length fortune declared in his favor. " I thought I was on the point of defeat," he said, breathing a sigh of apparent relief. " That was a close game. You are a pretty even match for me. Shall we play again ?" Charles was overwhelmed by his defeat.— He represented to himself what his wife would say when she learned that the deposit which had given them such a sense of secu rity, had been swept away by one night's folly. And yet the game was close. A trifle and he might have won—as he might again. The result was that he staked his note for an equal amount. Without followinc , the details of the games which succeeded,' it is enough to say that when Charles Gray left the gaming-house he had not only lost all the money he had brought with him, but four thousand dollars more, on a note, of thirty days, this being the value of his house. When he entered his home, of late so cheer ful, now only suggesting the thought of his execrable folly, his wife was terrified by the wildness of his appearance. " 'What is the matter, Charles?" she asked. " Nothing," said ho, gloomily. " But I know something is the matter.— You are sick !" " I wish I were. I wish it were anything but what it is." " You have not committed crime ?" asked his wife, filled with an undefinable apprehen sion. 7 'l(2 • " • D • "Not in the eye of the law, perhaps," re plied-Charles, with keen reproach, " but it is acrime nevertheless." "Tell me the worst," replied Lis wife.— " Perhaps it is not so bad as it seems." - !`You won't say so when you know what it is. Suppose I tell you that by a bad invest ment I bad lost all our property." " House and all ?" inquired Mrs. Gray, turning pale. " Yes, every cent.. Isn't that as bad as can be ?" Mrs. Gray was nearly overpowered for the moment. She had always been prudent,and economical, though far from parsimonious, and had taken great pride in her husband's property and the degree of independence which they had already acquired. Was she to blame' or looking forward to a time when her husband might be rich enough to retire from business if he should choose, on a'com petence which would place them above the contingencies of fortune ? At:all - events this was the day-dream which Mrs: Gray had en tertained, and that scattered it in - 4a thous and pieces was a rude one. It:Was on her lips to say, " How could yogi,,bet-do impru dent, Charles ?" but a g:ance ht hei•husband's pale, anxious countenance, awakened all the wife within her,aur„l, she said with an attempt at cheerfulness : " It is bad enough, Charles, but it might be worse. We were getting too fond of mon ey, perhaps, and this may be an admonition of Providence. After all, you have a good trade,, „and may win back what you have lost." " It will take a long time." " Perhaps so, but we are young yet. We may yet acquire a competency for our later years. "Should Charles Gray leave it so?" Would it be right to have his wife to believe that he had lost his property by a poor investment, and conceal from her the real cause. He was strongly tempted, but thanks to his better na ture he resolved to make a clean breast of it. " Mary," said he, " I haven't told you the worst yet." " What!" said nis wife turning pale.— " Have you run into debt, besides ?" "It isn't that. We have not only lost our property, though that is enough in all con science, but I didn't tell you how it was dono,"- " Wasn't it by a bad investment ?" " Bad enough, Mary, and worse than you imagine. It was lost at the gaming-table." Poor Mary 1 It was indeed a bad thing to become reconciled to. She had been brought up to hold the gaming house in utter horror, and the thought that her husband had fre quented it was even worse than his loss of property. " I knew you wouldn't forgive me," said Charles, despondingly. " Poor Charles," she said, pityingly, "you were led away, lam sure. Promise me that yoU never will enter a gaming-house again." " I no'er will as long as I live," replied Charles, ei4rnestly, " at least to play; but he added with renewed despondency, " what is the use of saying that ! It is only locking the stable door after the horse is stolen." " No," said Mary, " if it has cured you of this destructive habit, we can aford to lose our property." In this way she endeavored to cheer her husband, but he felt too keenly his culpable folly to be easily consoled. The next day he was feverish, and did not go out to his business. His despondency seemed to increase upon him. In this time of trouble Mary bethought herself of an uncle—an ex-sea captain, who had retired from service with a handsome competence. She thought he naignt be able to cheer her husband, and perhaps council him as to what course it would be best for him to take. Without communicating her intention to her husband, she tripped over to Captain Barton's dwelling. The Captain was reading a morning paper over his coffee. In a few words she made known her errand. "It is a bad business," said the captain, shaking his head. " Do you think Charles is so very much to blame ?" asked Mrs. Gray, willing to shield her husband. " As to that," said Captain Barton, laying down his paper, "if he is, I'm not the man to be hard upon him. Those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." " Why, uncle, you don't mean to say that you ever visited the gaming-house." " Yes I do," said the captain. "It was when I was younger and mayhap more fool ish than lam now. I won't tell you how much I lost, but it didn't happen without my finding out some of their tricks." " What, don't they play fair," inquired the guileless Mrs. Gray " Fair I I should say not, except when they are compelled to. I haven't the least doubt but your husband was tricked out of his money." " It is hard to give up our pleasant home, but I suppose it can't be helped!' " Avast there 1" said the captain. " Per haps matters ain't so bad. I've a good mind to take up your husband's cause myself, and shiver a lance in his behalf." "How, uncle ?" "In this way. If Charles will go with me to the gaming-house and introduce me to the sharper that fleeced him, I'll win back his money." " No, no, uncle," said Mary, in terror,— " I don't want you to lose your money too." " Who talks of losing money ? I mean to win it." " But he will cheat you as he did Charles?" " Perhaps he will," said the captain, sig nificantly. " I rather think I know enough to detect his tricks. He'll find me quito a different customer from Charles." The captain's confidence at length remov ed Mary's fears, and she consented to his making the trial. Her uncle at once went over to the cottage to see Charles. A few cheering words had a wonderful effect in removing the latter's despondency,. and it was agreed that they should go over the nest evening. -PERSEVERE.- HUNTINGDON, PA.. OCTOBER 17, 1860. "Now,"•.said Captain Burton, "I am sup posed to be a pretty good mimic. The part I am going to take for this occasion is that of an old farmer from Vermont, slightly unsop histicated, but with plenty of tin. I must be oa' , and "make myself up" accordingly. The evening arrived. - Charlep Gray and his uncle entered the gaming-house, The latter was admirably " made up" for the occasion. Few who looked at him and heard his broad pronunciation would have dreamed that he had ever before been fifty miles from home. As they were looking on, Charles Gray's old acquaintance espied :them, and walking up, greeted Charles. He looked inquiringly at Captain Barton. " Mr. Eliphalet Barton, of Vermont," said Charles, introducing him. " I am delighted to see you, Mr. Barton," said the sharper. " Shall you remain long in town ?" "About a week, I guess. Nephew Charles told me there was a good deal to be seen, and I'm bound to see the lions. Pesky big place Boston is." " Very." After a letter more conversation of this kind, the sharper, who, from some hints which had been dropped, wan led to believe Captain Barton a man of wealth, invited the pair to play. " As to that," said Charles, "I think I will look on, but possibly my uncle will be willing to take a hand." The latter said he always liked " keerds," and finally sat down to the table. Captain Barton was victor in the first game, at the result of which he expressed his exul tation loudly. " I've got you fairly hooked," thought his opponent. Meanwhile Barton, though apparently in tent upon his own game, watched his adver sary's play with the sharpest attention. At the close of the evening he was a loser to the amount of two hundred and fifty dollars. Ile was equally loud in expressing his chagrin, and in his complaints of his '' confounded luck." " Perhaps you will be more lucky next time," suggested the sharper. " I say," said Barton, " will you be here to-morrow night?" " Yes," was the eager reply. "May I hope for a farther trial?" " I'll try again," said Barton, "if I lose every cent of the six thousand dollars I brought with me." At the mention of this sum, the sharper's eyes sparkled. "Charles," said Captain Barton, on the way - home, " to-morrow night I shall win back all you have lost." " How can you be so confident, uncle ? own that I tremble for you." " Tush, Charles; I know a thing or two.— I read that fellow's play as easily as I can A B C. . " How was that ?" " I will tell you. As I supposed he doesn't trust to fortune, but is willing to help her a little. On each one of the court cards there is a little mark, too minute to attract the at tention of one who is not initiated, which be ing varied in position for each tells him un erringly what high cards his opponent has." "But how did you have a chance to find that out?" " You noticed how lon g it took me to shuf fle and how awkwardly did it. Well all that time I was studying those cards, and this with the attention I could give when playing was sufficient." "I had no idea how sharp you were, un cle." "It's well you are beginning to appreciate me," said the captain, good-humoredly.-- " But it's time we were at home." " One question more. Ilow can you avail yourself of your knowledge ?" " I shall purchase a pack of cards precise ly like those this fellow uses, and mark them with his own marks, only the marks shall be on the low cards. Before we play for a heavy stake I will take the opportunity to exchange them." "But won't he discover it ?" " Of course he will smell a rat, but do you think he will dare to say anything? As sure as he does I shall exhibit his own cards. Late the next evening a ring was beard at the door of Charles Gray. Captain Barton was admitted. " Well, uncle, how did you succeed ?" ex claimed both in a breath. " Here's your note, Charles," was the re ply, " and here's the money you lost." " And then your plan succeeded ? Tell us about it." "You see," said the captain, " I went in to-night. I found the land pirate lying in wait for me. Ile was-very glad to see me.— I could see his eye sparkle with the hope he had of cleaning me out and leaving me high and dry. The first two games were only for a small stake.. He let me win Next time I proposed to play for an amount which would cover your losses. Ile didn't object much.— Before beginning (it was my turn to shuffle) I managed to exchange his pack for mine.— Well, the upshot of it was that the marks led him all astray, and I had no difficulty in beat ing. -By that time he began to think some thin..?b was to pay, and undertook to make a fuss, but a few words from me calmed him down pretty quick, and decided that he had better let it pass. I reckon he will be a lit tle shy of strangers ' from Varmount ' here after.' " Uncle," said ilharles, grasping his hand warmly, "you have saved me from the conse quences of my folly. How shall I thank you?" "By resolving," said Captain Barton, se riously, " never again to enter a gaming house, or making even the smallest sum on the chances of a game. Are you willing to do - this ?" "I am; and with God's help I will keep my resolution." ZEl5`- Slanders, issuing from red and beauti ful lips, are like foul spiders crawling from the blushing heart of a rose.- - ta- Reading matter on every page The following affecting narrative purports to have been given by a father to his son, as a warning derived from his own, bitter experi ence of the sin of grieving and resisting a mother's love and counsel. What agony was visible on my mother's face when she saw that all she said and suf fered failed to move me I She rose to go home and I followed at a distance. She spoke no more to me till she reached her own door. "it is school time now," said she. " Go, my son, and once more let me beseech you to think upon what I have said." " I shan't go to school," said I. She looked astonished at my boldness but replied firmly. " Certainly you will go, Alfred I command you." " I will not," said I, in a tone of defiance. "One of the two you must do, Alfred-- either go to school this morning, or I will lock you in your room and keep you there till you are ready to promise implicit obe dience to my wishes in the future." "I dare you to do it, you can't get me up stairs." " Alfred choose now," said my mother who laid her hand upon my arm. She trembled violently and was deadly pale. "If you touch me I will kick you," said I in a terrible rage. God knows I knew not what I said. " Will you go, Alfred ?" " No," I replied, but quailed beneath her eve. " Then follow me," said she, as she grasped my arm firmly. I raised my foot and kicked—her, my saint ed mother ! How my head reels as the tor rent of memory rushes over me I I kicked my mother—a feeble woman—my mother ! She staggered back few steps, and leaned against the wall. She did nut look at me, bnt I saw her heart bent against her breast. " Ohl Heavenly Father, " said she, " for give him—he knows not what he does ?" The gardener had just then passed the door and seeing my mother pale and almost una ble to support himself, he stopped. She beckoned him in. " Take this boy up stairs, and lock him in his room," said she, and turned from me.— Looking back as she was entering her room she gave me such a look of agony mingled with the most intense love !—it was the last unutterable pang from Ei heart that was brok en. In a moment I found myself a prisoner in my own room. I thought for a moment I would fling myself from the window and dash my brains out, but I was afraid to do it. I was not penitent. At times my heart was subdued ; but my stubborn pride rose in an instant, and bade me not yield. The pale face of my mother haunted me. I flung my self on the bed and fell asleep. Just at twi light I heard a footstep approach the door.— It was my sister. " What may I tell my mother for you ?" she asked. " Nothing," I replied. " Oh, Alfred ! for my sake, for all our sakes say that you are sorry. She longs to forgive you." I would not answer. I heard her footsteps slowly retreating and again I threw myself upon the bed, to pass another wretched and fearful night. Another footstep slower and feebler than my sister's disturbed me. A voice called me by name. It was my mother's. Alfred, my son, shall I come?" she asked. I cannot tell what influence operating at that moment made me •speak adverse to my feelings. The gentle voice of my mother thrilled through me, and melted the ice of my obdurate heart, and I longed to throw myself. on her neck, hat I did not. But my words gave the lie to my heart when I said I was not sorry. I heard her groan. I longed to call her back, but I did not. I was awakened from my uneasy slumber, by hearing my name called loudly, and my sisted stood at my bedside. " Get up, Alfred. Oh, don't wait a minute Mother is dying !" I thought that I was yet dreaming, but I got up mechanically and followed my sister. On the bed, pale and cold as marble lay my mother. She had thrown herself on the bed to rest ; arising to go again to me, she was seized again with a palpitation of the .heart, and borne senseless to her room. I%ly sister threw her arms around me and wept in silence. Suddenly we saw a slight motion of mother's hand, her eyes unclosed. She had recovered consciousness, but not speech. She looked at me and moved her lips. I could not understand her words.— "Mother, mother•! say only that you forgive me." She could not say it with her lips, but her hand pressed mine. She smiled upon me and lifting her thin white hands, she clasped my bands within them, at•d cast her eyes upward. She moved her lips in prayer, and thus she died. 'remained still kneeling beside that dead form, till my gentle sister removed me. The joy of youth had gone for ever. • Boys who spurn a mother's control, who are ashamed to own that they are wrong, who think it manly to resist her authority, or yield to her influence, BEWARE ! Lay not up for yourseves bitter memories for future years. ner. A cheerful heart - paints the world as it finds it, like a sunny landscape ; the mor bid mind depicts it like a sterile wilderness pallid with thick vapors, and dark as the " Shadow of Death." It is the mirror, in short, on which it is caught, which lends to the face of nature the aspect of its own turbu lence or tranquility. ,13C:r. The foreman of a grand jury in• Mis- souri, after administering an oath to a beau tiful woman, instead of handing the Bible, presented his face, and said, "Now kiss the book madam." He didn't discover his mis take, until the whole jury burst into a roar of laughter. _ Editor and Proprietor. z v I lan t it A. Touching Story. Artemus Ward's Interview with the Prince. • Artemus Ward, the showman—the man of many experiences and unlimited humor"—has seen the Prince. The interview between these distinguished persons is supposed. to have taken place at Sarnia, and A. Ward, Esq., tells his story as follows Ire handed me a segar & we sot down on the Pizarro & curantenst smokin' rite cheer ful. sez I, "Albert Edward, how's the old fukes ?" "Her Majesty & the Prince are awl well," he Bed. "Duz the old man taik his logger reglar ?" I inquired. The Prince' larfed and intimaited that the old man didn't let menny kegs ov that ber rigs spile in the sellar in the course of a yere. We sot & tawked there sum thyme abowt matters & things & bimeby I axed him how he liked bein a Prince as far as heed got. ' "Tu speke plane, Mr. Ward," he sed; "I don't much like it. I'm sik ov awl this bow in & scrapin & krawlin & hurrain over a boy like me. I wud rather go thru the kuntry quietly & enjoy miseif in mi own wa, with the other boys, & not be made a sho or to be garp ed at by evrybody. When the peple cheer me I foal plezod, fur I no they meen it, but if these 1-horse offishuls cood no how I sees thru there moves & understand exakly what tha ar after, & node how I larfed at em in privet, tbayd stop kissin mi hands and fawn in over me as tha now du. But u no, Mister Ward, I kant help bein a Prince, & I must du awl I kin to phit miself fur the perzishion I must surname okupi." "That's troo," sez I, "sikness and the dok tors will karri the Querns orf I ov these daiz, sure's yer born." The tyme hevin arove for me to talk my deeparter, I raze up & sed "Albert Edward I must go, but previs to duin so, I will ob sarve that you soot me. Yore a god feller, Albert Edward, and tho Ime agin Princes as a gineral thing, I must say I like the cut of your Gib. When you git to be King try and be as god a man as yer mother has bin. Be just and be Jenerus, espeshally to shoman, who have alters bin abused sinse the daze of Noa, who wuz the Ist man to go in the Man ajerry bizness, & if the dalie papers ov his tyme are to be bleved, Noa's kollekshun ov livin wild boosts bete anything ever seen sins, tho I mark bold to dout of his snaikz was abed of mine. Albert Edward, adoo 1" I tuk his have which he shuk warmly, and givin hitn a perpetooal free pars to my sho, & also par ses to talk Imam two the Quene and Old Al bert, I put on my hat and walkt awa. "Mrs. Ward," I solilerquized as I walkt along, "Mrs. Ward, of you cood sea yur hus band now, jest as he prowdly emerjis from the presents or the futur King or Ingland, youd be sorry you kald him a Beest jest be caws be cum hom tired 1 nite, and wud go to bed without takin orf his butes. You'd be sorry to deprive yore husband of the priseliss Boon ov liberty, my dear Betsy Jane 1" NO. 17. The Man who Don't Pay the Printer. May he be shod with lightning, and com pelled to walk over plains of gunpowder. May every day of his life be more despotie .than the Dev of Algiers. May he have sore eyes,and a chestnutburr for an eye-stone.- May be never be permitted to kiss a pretty woman. May_ his sheets be sprinkled with towage and with bed bugs, and fleas bo the sharers of his couch. Mayo nightmares trot quarter races over his stomach every night: May his wife be always cross, and his ba by_ ever on the squall. May his demijohn always be full of blue devil rot gut. May his boots leak, his gun hang fire, and his fishing lines break. May his coffee be sweetened with flies, and his soup seasoned with spiders. May a troop of printer's "devils," lean, lank, gaunt and grim, and a regiment of cats, catterwaul under his chamber window each night. In short, may his business go to ruin, and he go to the Legislature. A Toucans - a ArPEAL.—"Morgan spare that dog, touch not a single hair; he worries many a hog from out his muddy lair. Oh, when he was a pup, so frisky and so plump, he lap ped his milk from a cup, when hungry—at a jump. And then his funny tricks, so funny in their place, so full of canine licks upon bands and face. You will surely let him lire ! Oh, do not kill him—dead ; he wags his narrative and prays for life—not lead.— Go get the muzzle now, and put upon big mouth, and stop that bow, bow, how I and tendency to drought. .11 - e is your children's pet, companion of their joy ; you will not kill him yet, and thus their hopes destroy. No, Morgan, spare that pup, and go away from there !" A STORY is told of Sully the painter, a man distinguished for refinement of manners as well as success in art. At a party one even ing, Sully was speaking of a certain belle; vale was a great favorite. "Ah," says Sully, "she has a mouth like an elephant." "Oh, oh 1 Mr. Sully, how could you be so rude?" "Rude, ladies, rude 1 What do you mean I say she has got a mouth like an elephant, because it's full of ivory." Zar. A Quaker lately popped the question to a fair Quakeress thus : "Hum—yea, verily, Penelope, the spirit urgeth and moveth me wonderfully to beseech thee to cleave unto me, flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone." "Ilutn—truly, Obadiah, thou bast wisely said, and inasmuch as it is not good for man to be alone, I will sojourn with thee." An Irishman was once indulging in the very intellectual occupation of sucking eggs raw and reading a newspaper. By some mis chance he contrived to bolt a live chicken.— The poor bird chirruped as it went down his throat, and he very politely observed : "Be the powers, me friend ye spoke too late 1" Dar A Missouri editor announces that the publication of his paper wilt be suspended for six weeks in order that he may visit St. Louis with a load of bear-skins, hoop-poles, shingles, pork, pickled cat-fish,&c., which he has taken for subscriptions. Ilic. A man's good fortune often turns his head ; his bad fortunes as often averts the heads of his friends. ne-"Let me kiss Mai mother," is the song of the ladies where the Prince of Wales is traveling. Famo is like an eel—rather hard t;, c atch and a good deal harder to hold.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers