TERMS OF THE GLOBE. rtor annum in advance Six months Three months A failure to-notify a discontinuance at tho expiration of tho term subscribed for will bo considured a now engage ment. TERMS OF ADVERTISING , . 1 insertion. 2 do. 3 do. Four lines or less,... $ 25 $ 3714 $ 50 Ono square, (12 lines) ...... .... 50 75 100 Two squares, 1 00 1 50 2 00 Three squares, 1 50 2 25 3 00 Over three week and less than three months, 25 cents per square for each insertion. 3 months. 6 months. 12 months. $1 50 <>"l 00 ~$5 00 3 00 5 00 7 00 5 00 8 00 10 00 700 10 00 15 00 Six lines or less,... One square, Two squares, Three squares, Tour squares,. Half a column, One column, 20 00..... .... .30 00 ' . } .4 : .50 00 Professional and Business Cards not exceedyiefonelines 00 ono year, $3, 4 Administrators' and Executors' Notices,..., ..... :..$1,015 Advertisements not marked with the nutriber of Inger lions desired, will be continued till forbid and ohargett ac cording to these terms. Vottrg. WHAT MAKES THE WOMAN? Not costly dress, nor queenly air; Not jeweled hand, complexion. fair; Not graceful form, nor lofty tread; Not paint, nor curls, nor splendid head; Not pearly teeth, nor sparkling eye s, Nor voice that nightingale outyies ; Not breath as sweet as eglantine, Not gaudy gems, nor fabrics fine; Not all the stores of fashion's mart ; Nor yet the blandislunents of art ; Not oue, nor all of these combined, Cau make one woman true refined. 'Tie not the casket that we prize, But that which in the casket lies; These outward charms that please the sight, Are naught unless the heart be right. she, to fulfill Ler destined end, Must with her beauty goodness blend: Must - make it her incessant care, To deck herself with jewels rare ; Or priceless gems must be possessed, In robes of richest beauty dressed ; Diet these must clothe the inward mind, In purity the most refined. She cloth all these goods combine— Criu man's rough nature well refine— Hathall she needs in this frail life To fit for mother,. sister, wife; lie whO possesses such a friend Sl' , Duld cherish \Nell till life doth end. Woman, in fine, the mate should be, To sail with man o'er life's rough sea, And when the stormy cruise is o'er Attend him to fair Canaan's shore. qk, TWO WAYS TO SAVE IVIONEY A LIFE SKETCH. BY SYLVANUS COBB, Jl. The following sketch of real life so plainly exhibits a lesson which might be profitably followed by many of our people, that we give it to the reader simply as it occurred, only concealinc , c' the real names of the parties con cerned. And as the story bears its own moral, we will not tire you with any " reflections." John Poland and Anson Byman bought farms adjoining each other. The land had formerly been owned by one man who had carried on the whole, employing a heavy force in the work. When the two friends bought the land, it was as equally divided as possi ble ; and after the line of separation had been run, those who had worked much on the land declared that they would not give the " toss of a copper" for a choice between_ the two farms. The old buildings were almost use less, so new ones were erected, and at the same time both men commenced farming in earnest. They were poor, having paid their last pennies for the farms, and being obliged to run some in debt to get stock and tools. In all respects the two men commenced evenly. They were both married, and while Poland had one son and two daughters, Ly man had one daughter and two sons. "Look ye," said Lyman ; as the two sat to gether after their farming operations were commenced. " I have set my mark to aim at. I'm determined, if I have my health; to lay up a thousand dollars, clear of everything, in five years." " That is rather a short time for such a purpose," returned Poland. " Not a bit," cried the other, enthusiasti cally. " Pin not going to wear my back bone away for nothing. I'm going to lall 7T MO- ney!" " So I hope to do," said Poland ; " but mo ney isn't the first consideration." " What's the reason it isn't ?" asked Ly man. "If you have money you can have ev erything. Money is the key that unlocks all doors—the card that admits you to all places. "0 I give me a thousand dollars and I'll content !" " So I must have a thousand dollars," re marked Poland; and then the conversation took another turn. One day a man came along who had some splendid young cattle. They were of as pure English Breeds as ever imported and came very high. Poland saw him passing and hailed him. Our friend was anxious to grow a fine stock, and he knew that ho must com mence in the right way. The owner of the stock said he was willing to sell, but he must have his price. He had a fine young pair, male and female, two years old, which he would sell for two hundred dol lars. Poland offered his note on six months, together with a bill of sale of the cattle as se curity. The owner was satisfied, and the bargain mts,made. The animals were bro't home, aM. Poland was, not disappointed in his purchase. " Phew 1" broke from Lyman's lips, as he heard the price which his neighbor, had paid fur the new stock. " Two hundred dollars for a two year old bull and heifer ! Why— what on earth could you have been thinking of Poland ? Why—l wouldn't have given seventy-five dollars for 'em no how. My cows will give as much milk and make as much butter and cheese. I tell you plainly you'll never see that thousand dollars if you launch out in that way." " But, my dear sir, I am determined to have the best stock I can get," returned Po land, earnestly ; "for those farmers who have made the most money have made it from stock. I assure you it's one of the greatest. failings our farmers have that they are con tent with small, poor cattle, when, by a little trouble andoexpense, they could have better." "My stock answers my purpose at any rate," resumed Lyman. " I can't afford to pay two hundred dollars for a pair of two year olds, and one o' them . a heifer at that, when for fifty dollars I can buy one of the best cows in the country." " You have a right to your own opinions." " Aye—and I'll have my thousand dollars too," laughed Lyman, as he turned away. It was only a week after this that the can- .$1 50 . 75 . 50 .20 00 ...24 00 . 9 00 13 00.. .12 OD 16 00.'j WILLIAM LEWIS, VOL. XIII. va,sser for an agricultural newspaper stopped at Lyman's house ; but the host couldn't af ford to take it." " Hadn't you better ?" ventured his wife. " No. We take the Village Pickings, pub lished right in our own town, and that's enough. You know what I told you, I must have that thousand dollars ."' " Then you won't take it ?" said the agent. " No, sir. Can't afford it. But there's my neighbor Poland—he'll take anything that anybody offers-him." "I've called on him, sir, and he told me I'd better stop here. He said you were ta king no agricultural paper." " And did he subscribe ?" " Yes—and paid me the money." " I tell ye, Dolly, Poland's thousand dol lars'll come out minus ;—now you mark my words." Dolly Lyman said nothing, for she was troubled at that moment by the thought that her husband was exercising a spirit of penu riousness which looked mean ; but she did not say so. " Hello ! what ye doing ?" cried Lyman as he saw Poland commencing to run a fence across his field. " I'm going to throw out just half of this field into pasturing," returned Poland. " What ?" exclaimed Lyman, hardly able to believe what he had heard. " Throw off half your field ? Why—that won't leave you with more than twenty acres to till." " I know it,—and that's all I want. lam determined not to waste my time and ener gies in swinging a scythe over forty acres of land after five and twenty tons of hay when I can get forty tons from twenty acres." " Crazy as a March hare ?" muttered Ly man, as he turned away. Ere long Lyman was met by another sur prise. He was at the hotel in the village one day, and there learned that his neighbor Po land had engaged all their manure for four years ; and that he was to pay for it with wood, batter, cheese and such other articles of produce as might be wanted. " Dolly, what do vou suppose Poland has been and thine now?" " I don't know, I'm sure," returned the wife, looking up. " Well, I'll tell you been and en gaged all the manure made at the tavern stables for the next four years ! And he's got to haul wood, and let his butter and cheese go to pay for it !" On the same day he saw Poland, and ask ed him what he meant. " I mean to bring my farm up," said the latter. " But .I. get manure enough - for two acres of corn every year, and that's enough," said Lyman. "For you it may be, but I wish to manure more. Our land was well run out when we took it, and in order to get it up to its fullest capacity, we must be prodigal of rich dress ing." "Well," said Lyman, with a sort of pitying expression,—" go ahead; but if you ever see your money, let me know." " I'll give you a good account, never fear," replied Poland, laughing. " I must feed my land if I would have it feed me. We haven't got land here like those rich alluvial bottoms in the west. My lands need nursinf , now." But Anson Lyman couldn't see the use of wasting money in that way. lie thought the man wbo'would first cut down his tillage land one half, and then go off and buy such a quantity of manure must be little better than foolish. llc wasn't such a fool, at all events. During the following winter, while Lyman was cutting and hauling wood to the village for two dollars and a half per cord, "poor" Poland *as haulinc , his to the tavern to pay fur manure which he hadn't got yet ! It was on the first day of April that Poland came to see his neighbor. He wanted to bor row a hundred dollars for six months, or for a year if be could. " What ye going to do with it ?" asked Ly man. " I want to make some improvements in ray barn cellar, and also enlarge the building by putting on a tie up, thus throwing the cattle out of my main barn." " I declare, Poland, it's too bad !" said Ly man, pityingly. ";Here, I've laid up over two hundred dollars clear cash, and you are worse off than nothing—in debt. By the jingo, John, I don't want to see you fooling away money so. Your barn is large enough —as large as mine is with double your land to empty into it. If I lend you a hundred dollars what assurance have I that I shall ever see it again ? I'd rather let it go where I know it is safe. I shouldn't want to sue you, and I might not get it without. Your farm is as good as mine, and you have no more need to be borrowing than I have,—or, you shouldn't have." John Poland didn't say anything about the two animals he had bought a year and a half before, and the calf they had yielded him, for which he had been offered, within the week, four hundred dollars. He owned that amount of stock over and above the stock owned by Lyman. He turned the subject of conversation as quickly as possible, for he wanted to hear no reason from his friend for not leriding him the money. That afternoon he went over to see the man of whom he had bought this new stock, who readily lent him the money he needed. " What a fool !" said Lyman, as he saw the carpenters at work tearing away one whole side of his neighbor's barn, preparatory to adding an apartment capable of accommoda ting forty-five "head of cattle." However, Poland worked on, and tried in vain to get his neighbor to listen to some of his advice. " Don't talk to me," cried Lyman, at the end of the second year. I've got four hun dred dollars at interest. How much have you got?" " A thousand or so," returned the other. "Eh What do you mean ?" " Why, all the money I have laid out on this place is on interest." " Oho—aba, ha, ha, ha,—and how much interest have you realized?" " So far I've let it all run at compound in terest—put the interest right in with the principal, and there it lies." ...•k;:. ; ._ „ .-.•,...., ..!....:, ' •;,. '...•;;;i7, ' ''';,- ,-,-; ••...z., , ~ , t , . .. • ••••, ..:,.••,' .., , , , i f:', , , l " - :i:::) ~•:::,. • • :,.....:. ~.,..-.:,./, ..-.•,,,',..,-....„..,-,,.....,. .- ~:!..::,... , ~ ~..... " Yea, and there it will lie. I don't belie; - 'e' you can raise fifty dollars now in cash." "You are right, Lyman—l could not raise it without selling something which I do not wish at present to part with." " I thought so. But, take your own way." Ere long Anson Lyman was astonished to find that his neighbor had subscribed for a third newspaper, besides buying a lot of books for his children. . "What's the use?" he said, as he sat in his neighbor's front room, and saw a large pile of books on the shelf. " I want my children to learn to work—not to be spending their time over books. They get schooling enough when our school is open." " So I mean that my children shall learn to work," returned Poland, " but that shall not prevent them from becoming well educa ted. I would rather leave them with good health, good characters and well educated, than with thousands of dollars each, minus the education." " Oho ! That's the way you meant to lay up a thousand dollars; to have it in hooks, and papers, and new tie ups and such like." "You shall see when the time is up:" "We shall," returned Lyman, as he turn ed towards home. Mr. Lyman had not fully realized how much corn Poland had received from the land he had manured so heavily and so care fully ; and on the second year he only noticed that his neighbor had extraordinary good tuck! with his wheat, getting about ninety bushels from three acres. But he had occa sion to open his eyes on the third year. One evening just at sundown, he went over into Poland's field, where the men were just finishing making up a three acre piece where the grain had been the year before—the first piece the present owner had plowed up and dressed. "Been poling some hay on here," said Ly man, as be saw the huge bunches of hay nearly as thick as they could stand. " go—this was all cut from these three acres," returned Poland. Lyman counted the bundles, and then es timated their average weight, and upon reck oning up he found the land had yielded not far from four tons to the acre! He had just got in the two acres which he had first dress ed upon the new farm, and he had obtained short of two tons per acre! He knew that Poland had got ten bushels more of wheat per acre than he had done, and also more corn. He began to think, but yet he would not let kis money go any such "ex_periments" upon his place. The five years came around and Anson Lyman went on that day and sold fourteen bushels of corn in order to get fourteen dol lars to put with nine hundred and eighty six dollars which he had at home. "Well, Poland, I've got the prize!" said Lyman, entering the farmer's barn in the af ternoon. It was early spring, just five years from the day on which they bought, I've got the thousand dollars; now what have you got? " Well—l have not far from four hundred dollars in money." " Aha—l thought so." "But, Anson Lyman," said Poland, almost sternly, "are your eyes not opened yet? " Opened I What d'ye mean ?" " Well, I mean that my farm to-day will sell for one thousand dollars more than yours will. Look at my hay-mow. There are nearly twenty tons of hay; you have not ten. And, mind you, I have five head of cattle more than you have. Next season I shall cut more hay from twelve acres, which I have now re generated, than you will cut upon your whole forty acres; and you know my hay is worth far more a pound than your hay is. I told you I had five more head of cattle than you had. For these five creatures I can, within six hours, take seven hundred dollars cash; but no such money can purchase them of me." "Ah, Lyman, you have been saving money, but you have taken it from your farm with out returning anything for it." "Never mind—l've got my thousand dol lars, and I've got my farm, as good as it was the day I bought it." " Not quite, Lyman." How so ?" " You've taken off two hundred cords of good wood." " Well—so you took off some." " Aye—but what I took from my wood lot I put back upon my field. I did not take it from the farm." Mr. Lyman went away with new thoughts. Time passed on, and at the end of another five years the eyes of Ansom Lyman were wholly opened. Poland had raised quite a stock of noble cattle from his first purchase, and commenced to sell to the beef market.— Two hundred dollars was the least any one of them brought when fatted; and. one bul lock, four years old, brought him three hun dred and ten dollars. His twenty acre field was like a garden, yielding, such as was mowed, an average of three tons to the acre. In short, his whole farm was under the best of training and improvement, and now yield ed him back a heavy interest upon all that he had expended. During one fall he took over a thousand dollars for stock and pro duce ; and he was offered five thousand dol lars for his place, whilst Lyman could not have found a purchaser at fifteen hundred ! "Dolly," said Anson Lyman, sinking into a- chair, " I've been a fool I—a fool! I say." " Why—Anson—what do'you mean? " Mean ? Look at Poland's farm." " I have looked at it from the first, An son." "You hare? And what have you seen?" " Why—rsaw that John Poland was ma king a comfortable home for himself and family, and increasing the value of his farm tenfold." " And why didn't you tell me so ?"• " I did tell you so, husband, and you said I was a fool," "I remember. Well—never mind—'tisn't too late now." On the next morning Mr. Lyman went over to his neighbor's and frankly said,— " Poland you must help me. I want to learn to be a farmer." HUNTINGDON, PA -PERSEVERE.- ~ NOVEMBER 25, 1857. " I will help you with pleasure, Anson ; and you can begin far more easily than I did, for you have money." And Lyman commenced. The thousand dollars was nearly expended in the work, but in the end he found himself the gainer, and his dollars came back to him with inter est twice-fold. lie had learned a lesson which many might follow with profit. 'ittertsfing Utisttitm. Doctrine of the Resurrection This was the subject of a discourse preach ed, by special request, in the Coates Street Presbyterian church, lately, by the pastor, Rev. Mr. DUFFIELD. As a prelude to the doctrine about to be discussed, Mr. D. read the portion of Scrip ture contained in the 15th chapter of St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians, from the 12th to - the 26th verse inclusive. The special text of Scripture upon which the discourse was based may be fbund in the latter clause of the 15th verse of the 24th chapter of Acts, as follows: "There shall be a resurrection of the- dead both' of the just and unjust." The speaker remarked, in opening, that his attention had been drawn to this subject at this time by a variety of circumstances, which. it was needless to detail. Upon the import ance of this doctrine, he, as a minister of the Gospel need hardly dwell, as it might justly be said to constitute the chief article and basis of our faith; it was indeed our great consolation and hope. Pre-eminently had this doctrine been dear to the primitive Chris tians; yet he was sorry to find that the great doctrine of the resurrection of the body was in many instances being too slightly regarded by professors of Christianity. But the other day, a good Christian had remarked to him in reference to this subject, "that the body was a minor matter;" and be, for one, felt it his duty to revive its importance. It bad been the hope that the body would one day spring Aril pure from the tomb; that sus tained the martyr in the darkest hour of his persecutions. The apostles had laid great stress upon this doctrine. It was true, when Paul preached it at Athens, the philosophers received it with mockery, and while they were unable to dis prove its truth, they used every means, as they supposed, to render it impossible by destroying the bodies of their deceased in di vers ways. The presentation of this doctrine had al way,s,been attended with great power upon the consciences of Men—even greater than the immortality of the soul. Talk to a man of his soul, and he heard you as if you were conversing with him about a stranger; but let it be concerning his outward being, and he is far more likely to apply it to himself.— We had the evidence of the missionaries to prove that the enunciation of the resurrec tion of the body caused the wildest emotions among the heathens, even when every other appeal seemed to be made in vain. Ile was prepared to admit that in very many respects we were prone to think too much of this out ward, perishable tenement of clay; but as bodies that were designed again to rise front the dead, we did not think enough of them. What, then, was the doctrine of the Resur rection? was the first of a series of questions he should ask and answer in this, and the discourses which. were to follow upon the same subject—i. e., what was a true and for mal statement of it? As a general statement the text was sufficient; literally rendered, however, the word resurrection signified to stand up, as contradistinomished from the prostrate position of the body t in the tomb, and had hence been used to signify the re newal of life, or the rising up of something that had fallen down—not the uprising of a (4ftrent body, for nothing could. be said to rise again that had never fallendown. This doctrine, was, hence, that the actual body in which we now exist is again to be united with the soul that now inhabits it. [This sentence may be said to be the gist and pith of Mr. Duffield's view of this mo mentous subject.] In the second place, it would be interest ing to inquire whether this was a doctrine of reason, or of revelation only. In the first place, we might observe that this had not been a doctrine of the Greeks; they had held the belief in the immortality of the soul, but not in the resurrection of the body, and it had been this dread of eternal mortal anni hilation that had induced among the ancients the custom of embalming the bodies of their dead. The truth was, reason alone was in adequate to the conception of this inspiring truth. It was a lesson that no man could draw from any exhibitions or phenomena in the natural world. It had been oft attempted, he knew, but there was a flaw in the sim ile. The illustration frequently employed of the revival of spring was very good and beautiful, so far as it went, but the analogy failed in one very important point, viz: That the shrubbery which decayed in autumn, and which again came forth iu spring, was not dead, but had merely suspended its life June tions. In order to make this analogy per fect; it would be necessary for us to pluck up the plant by the roots, burn them to ashes, and scatter them to the winds; yet his hear ers need not be informed that were this course universally adopted with the vegetable king dom the geniel influences of the vernal sun would return to us in vain. This doctrine was hence not one of natural religion but purely of revelation; and inasmuch as Ma3oll had not discovered it, it was not for the ca prices of man to alter or amend it. Upon the exact antiquity of this revelation there were some differences of opinion. JOB had evidently embraced this doctrine in its fulness when he declared, "I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that lle shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God."— These expressions of Jos were indeed won-• derfully significant. Many more passages of Scripture were , Lti, .'Z'.: ,i , ;:, : : 7.1.... Vl' .4 3 . ..' ..1 4 . , ., 1;1 ' 1 !:r::? : : :: 't.t•' , ~ -. .,'*4 ' '''' ',..,.... ..s,Ari:.. ;'..;,.; 3.r.' .. - Aii, .7 : iA. II .q, ~, , ,„-L ,;„ , , .„_ ~,, . ~,, read to illustrate the existence of this hope in the minds of other sacred writers. Some critics had affirmed that Isaiah was the first sacred writer to whom the doctrine could be traced. The remarks of Ezekiel respecting the "shaking of the dry bones in the valley;" that were again brought together and clothed with flesh, was also regarded by the speaker as pointing to the general resurrection of the body at the last day. The same might also be said of the declaration of DANIEL, that, "those that sleep in the dust shall awake; some to everlasting life, and some to everlast ing shame." In Christ's time, this doctrine was held by the Pharisees, and indeed by the Jews generally—the Saducees alone dis puting it. The first avowel of this doctrine by the Saviour we found recorded in the sth of John in the words: "For as the father raised' np the dead, and quickeneth them ; even so the Son quickeneth whom he will." And again "Marvel not at this; for the hour is coming in the which all that are in the graves shall come forth." The "Marvel" here alluded to was the healing of an impotent man of thirty eight years' standing, but which miracle was evidently considered incomparable to that which should one day be performed upon our mortal bodies, virtually enduing them with immortality. The speaker here oTered several specula tive suggestions respecting the probable mo tives of the Saviour in speaking thus - to his byStanders on that occasion. The great fact that "the time was coming, in which all that are in their graves shall hear his voice," was evidently, upon Christ's own adinissi:,n, the marvel of the universe. The resurrection with Him was no secondary affair—it was a cardinal puint in the Gospel plan ; and in fact to rob us of this would be to deprive us of the Gospel itself. But whither were we to look for the evi dences of the fulfilment of this Scriptural promise? Was it to the fact that Entich and Elijah had been taken in their bodies to heaven ? or that Christ had raised the widow's son, the daughter of Jairus, and Lazarus from the dead? No! neither of these, nor all of them combined, but to CHRIST'S OWN RESURRECTION, were we to look for the great and crowning evidence of the truth of this doctrine. "'lf the resurrection is not true, then is not Christ raised," was the gospel statement. If, then, Christ had. arisen from the dead according to his of prediction, and at the same time declared that at the last day He would raise up all, what more complete evi dence could we ask in proof of the general resurrection ? This doctrine was avowedly the most inex plicable of all doctrines, but the proofs of its truthfulness were certainly correspondingly great. In the third place, the design, of the resur rection was briefly considered by the speaker. It is possible that this general uprising of our decomposed bodies was intended as a grand, final, distinguishing exhibition of God's power; or, again, it might be designed to perpetuate the human race in this immor tal way, as, without this resurrection, a link of its perpetuity must necessarily be broken; or it might lie designed merely to make the immortality of man doubly perfect. In the heathen system, already referred to, the body was left entirely out of the ques tion, but the immortality which had been brought to light by Jesus Christ was com plete, and provided for the material as well as the spiritual man. his was indeed a doctrine that shouted victory over the grave ! Another design of Omnipotence in the gen eral resurrection might be to bring the en tire man before the judgment seat of Christ, thus verifying the enunciation, that " There shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust." In view of all this, then, the doctrine of the resurrection should not be w ith us a bare admission, but a firm soul-thrilling reality. We should regard these bodies in death as seed sown in corruption, to be raised in in corruption ; sown in dishonor, to be raised in glory; sown in weakness, to be raised in pow er; sown a natural body, to lie raised a spir itual body, even as it is written, "The first man Adam was made a living soul ; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit." The speaker closed by saying that the doc trine of the resurrection was a glorious doc trine, and, in due time, would have its fulfil ment. GIVE Him A Tr,..ton.—lf education is the great buckler and shield of human liberty, well developed industry is equally the buck ler and shield of individual independence.— As an unfailing resource through life, give your son, equal with a good education, a good honest trade. Better any trade than none. Though there is an ample field for the adoption of every inclination in this re spect. Learned professions and speculative employment may fail a man, but an honest handicraft trade, seldom or never—if its pos sessor choose to exercise it. Let him feel, too, that honest labor crafts are honorable and noble. The men of trades—the real creators of whatever is most essential to the necessities and welfare of mankind—cannot be dispensed with; they, above all others, in whatever repute they may be held by their most fastidious fellows must work at the oar of human progress, or all is lost. But few brownhandcd trade-workers think of this, or appreciate the real position and power they . compass. Give your son a trade, no matter what fbr tune he may have or seem likely to inherit. Give him a trade, and an education—at any rate a trade. With this he can always bat tle withltemporal want, can always be inde pendent. r,t, ,- Kinduesses are stowed away - in the heart, like rose leaves iu a drawer, to sweet en every object around them. Poverty is not a, shame, but the being ashamed of it is. ,t-Live virtuously, my lord, said Lady Russell, and you cannot die too soon, nor live too long. Editor and Proprietor. NO. 23. Printer's Language. In the following illustration of a printing office dialogue, there is decidedly more truth than poetry : Foreman—You fellow with thb big mouth; what are you at now ? Compositor—Pm setting a house on fire !' nearly done. Fore.—What's Kirkbride about? Compositor—He's engaged on El, 'Horrible Murder.' Fore.-1-Finish it as quick as you can, and help Morse through with his telegraph.— Crosby what are you trying to get up ? Crosby—`A panic in the Money Market.' Fore.—Miller, what are you distributing? Miller—Prizes in Perham's Gift Enter. , prize.' Fore.—Stop that, and take hold of this `Runaway Horse.' Fore.—Riley, what are you at? Riley—‘Tryin ,, to climb a greased pole! . Fore.—Too hate to finish that. You'd bet ter commence `Jumping off the Court House,' You chap on the stool, what arc you on ? Compositor—On the 'Table' you gave me. Fore.—Lay it on the table for the present —have no room for it. Ward—Shall I lead these 'Men of Dela ware county ?' Fore.—No. They're solid, of course.— Wilson, what are you doing - with the 'Princi ples of Democracy ?' 'Wilson—Trying to justify them. Pore.—You can't do that; so correct the errors in the 'Course of the Straightouts2— Jack, what in the thunder have you been about the last half hour ? Jack—Justifying the 'Compromise Meas ures;' which my sub set. Reynolds—Do you - want a bold-faced head to 'Jenny Lind's Family?' Fore.—No; such things go in small caps. Devil Pete, have you got up that 'Capital Joke ?' Pete—tiro; sir—l'm out of sorts. Fore.—Well, throw in this 'Million of Cali fornia gold,' and when you get through with it, I'll give you some more. Tobin, have you finished the 'Coalition ?' Tobin—Yes, sir, the 'Coalition' was up, but it is now knocked into pi. Fore.—Justify it if you can. Dunn, what have you got ? Dann—" Nothing to Wear." Fore.—Well, then, never mind that—take this Clothing for the Poor.' Foreman to the Editor—Sir, we want more copy. Editor—Go to the "devil." And he went, but found the " devil" hail gone over to Ilughie's after a cent's worth of molasses candy to treat the office, and yon der he is—(looks out of the wiudow)—con found his ugly picture—playin g marbles. in the street. Exit the foreman down stairs, talking to himself. A printer is necessarily a punster. TO - MAKE OLD Srm-En. AS Goon AS NEW.-- A desideratum long sought for has now been achieved—that is, a means of perfectly clean articles of silver without injury to the metal. It is the discovery of Professor Bott ger, a German. Take a glass or glazed ves sel sufficiently large for the purpose; fill it with a strong solution of borax or of caustic potash ; drop into it an inner vessel made of zinc, and pierced with holes as a sieve. Then take your silver, and plunge it into the liquid, moving it up and down, being careful that at each plunge it comes in contact with the zinc. Tho effect is magical ; for under the ccmbincd action of the solution and of the electricity evolved by the contact of the two metals, the silver loses all its dirt and discolorations, and becomes as bright as when first manufactured. Should it not be conve nient to use the inner Vessel of zinc, the cleansing may be accomplished by sinking the silver in the solution and stirring it about with a small rod of zinc. It is essential to success that the two metals touch each other frequently: A Ton - nu STORY.—The yarn we published some two weeks ago, in relation to a plant growing from a diseased limb of a boy near Mace, N. Y., is confirmed by a Dr. Hawley, of Geneva College, who further adds, that "Iwo plants grew out of the limb, one of which, after growing seven inches in height, bore a flower resembling the China Astor, and the other, after reaching the height of three inches, was crowned with pure white buds resembling the buds of the orange, and. on being exposed to the light expanded into a flower of a beautiful grayish purple." We are inclined to believe all this a stupendous Hoax: Yet it maybe so—man is a species of vegetable, in one sense-L-but it will be hard to find people who will believe without seeing it, especially since the York Yankees are famous for indulging in Silver Lake snail: stories, and such like. If the story is true, the case is one of deep interest to the phy siologist, and affords a field for a diagonis of a new character, both botanical and physiolo gical.—Erie Dispatch. -Pepper is an almost universal condi ment. Black pepper irritates and inflames the coatings of the stomach, red pepper does not, it excites, but does not irritate, conse quently it should be used instead of black pepper. It was known to the Romans, and has been in use from time immemorial, as it corrects that flatulence which attends the large use of vegetable food. Persons in health do not need any pepper in their food. But to those of weak and languid stomachs, it is manifold healthful to use cayenne rep per at meals than any form of wine, brandy, or beer that can be named, because it stimu lates - without the reaction of sleepiness or de bility.—Bidl's Journal of Health. A NVT FOR ABOLITION'S - F.9.-A petition was presented to Judge Hudson of Green brier county, on Tuesday, signed by old Willis, a free negro, formerly belonging to James Frazier, deceased, requesting permis sion of the court to suffer him to become a slave again. It seems that Willis has tried to live among the Abolitionists, and haring become convinced that negro freedom is a grand humbug, he desires to choose another master in the State of Virginia. He selected Mr. Thomas as his master.—Richmond En quirer. Western correspondent says attended a wedding a few days since. Wish ing to say something becoming-the occasion, I approached the fair young bride in the course of the evening, and after congratula ting her departure from the state of single blessedness, I wished her a pleasant voyage down the river of life. She said she hoped so, but she heard there was a great deal of fever on the river now, she hoped Ehe would not catch it on the way down. gerlnsults, says a modern philosopher, are like counterfeit money; we can't hinder them from being offered, but WO are not com; pelled to take them.