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By
J. Millar Watt
WNU
CAN QUITE
“The women used 10,000 tons of
face powder last year.”
“Yes; and the weight of it all fell
on the men.”
#
Homesick Breakfast
“Bring me some cold porridge,”
said the soldier to the waitress.
“Burn some toast to a cinder,” he
added. “Fry two bad eggs and
serve them on a dirty plate. Make
the coffee so that it tastes like mud
and bring it in a cracked cup so
that it drips down my chin when I
drink it."
The concoction came-—and the
puzzled waitress asked: '‘Is there
anything more?”
“Yes,” said the soldier. “Now
it down and nag me. I'm home-
sick.
w
“Why does he look 80 awed all the
He rd him h
- a say he was facin
an awful fact.” 8
“HiPhillips
WHU Servis
WAR CONVERSATION
Stalin (quite confused) — Where
am I?
Hitler—You
we?”
Chamberlain—You boys shouldn't
have any trouble getting your bear-
ings; you planned it this way.
Mussolini (sarcastically) — That's
what THEY thought!
* * +
mean, “Where are
Hitler (to Stalin)—1 thought you
had an army.
Stalin—So did I!
Hitler—The secret of victory is a
swift powerful attack, a terrific body
blow. Why didn't you do just as I
did in Poland?
Stalin—There were no Finns in Po-
land.
. * »
'
(wearily
Chamberlain
ou would stop
ttle peace.
Both—A little is all you'll get.
Chamberlain—Oh, 1 dunno; I'm
not doing so badly.
Hitler—And you're not
good, either.
Mussolini
you know
this war?
All—No,
will!
) — 1 wish
y arguing; I want a
li
doing so
terrible. Do
if I was in
-You're all
what I'd do
and we probably never
. * »
Wssaarlivi
Mussolini—Look
pay any attention
Hitler—1I
trust you or not.
Mussolini—The
Adolf.
at me. I don't
to war.
don't know whether to
feeling is mutual,
Chamberlain—As
A And
Ha if,
I recall things,
you were going to have this
Cora eit
{1 THOU i |
1) />/
fi A/AY
Ya
ing me is
that I haven't
1 trying to map out
Hitler—Have
through this?
Daladier—Why not; you've
nothing to keep me awake.
Stalin (to Hitler)—Are you going
to stand for a crack like that, com-
rade?
Hitler
comrade.
Stalin—Listen, you called me com-
rade first. Have you forgotten?
Hitler—1 wish I could!
* - .
DISILLUSIONMENT
I met my favorite movie star
And, lord, was he a bore!
He talked about himself at will
From seven until four;
Then downed another drink or two
And passed out on the floor.
K. Forshay.
Add similes: As inefficient as a
man putting on his own auto plates.
* » -
you been asleep all
done
(wincing)—Don’t call me
Football is a major handicap to
education, says Dr. Hutchins of the
University of Chicago. Most of us
thought it was the other way around.
» - »
Add similes: As depressed as a
cheer leader who picked the Univer-
sity of Chicago for his education.
. » »
There are 12,000,000 fishermen in
the United States, a federal buresu
of such things, announces.
der those two fish get more scary
every season.
* * *
[ PLANET JOTTINGS
+ Joe Stalin, fromm up Moscow way,
swap, sell or lease.
+ Ld -
Earl Browder was in court under
the name of Earl Browder.
. - *
Harold Ickes hasn't
anybody in almost a week now, and
must be ill or something.
. * -
Bob Taft, from up Cincinnati way,
is trying to collect a prize offered
by Mr. Roosevelt for a plan to bal
ance the budget. Bob will settle for
a set of dishes.
.
A "Mickey Rooney-for-President”
club was started here last week at
the Fire House. Mickey could sweep
the country, say we.
Frankie Murphy bik beeh located
by anxious friends. turned up on
the Supreme court. That will stop
him popping about, ye ed reckons.
\EMBROIDER
ANCHOR
CHAIN IN
CHAIN
STITCH
2
| ADD TRIANGLES
BASTE AND THEN
STITCH FABRIC
STRIPS OR TAPE
TO FORM ANCHOR
HINGS that have to
the sea are a good theme
decorating a recreation room, a
boy's room or a summer cottage,
A ship model has a salty flavor
but is not a necessity. One young-
ster made a map of a desert island |
complete with a legend of hidden
treasure. No one knew more than
he about
the reasure
ie mmvent
i
QUESTIONS \
££
HOUSEHOLD /*
The gray or green color
walter gives {0 rice when
boiled
Keep a large shaker contal
¢ paris sail to one
a fresh grease spot |
r the spot th blot- |
To remove
a Tug, cove
even |
TWO |
keep muslin curtains
" laundering $3 ory iid
Be i ails Pus
iG iron as one
To restore fireplace bricks to
heir natural color and keep them
s of
Oi
If rubber gloves are
on the ins with cornstar
powder they wil
easily.
ae
i siip
* * *
To remove salt from fish in a
wash the fish for a while
in sweet milk.
* ® *
hurry,
Do not wrap silver
linen. The sulpht
sed in bleaching
Unbleached cotton flan
* Ad »
ir whic
Put strips of adhesive tape on
the inside of children’s rubbers.
tape print the children’s
ves. They will then have no
ulty finding their rubbers.
Women in Majority
In most countries the fen
population exceeds the male.
every 1,000
females in
France, 1,068
ale
England, 1,071
in Germany,
a few countries have a
male population than female. They
women for every 1,000 men.
And in Cuba the women are
comparatively scarce, with only
888 for every 1,000 men.
12-inches long and 8 inches across
as shown here Bias tape may
be used for the smaller anchor
which is just half the size of the
large one.
NOTE: Mrs. Sewing
Book No. 2 contains a complete
alphabet to be made of straight
or bias strips: also illustrations of
five processes of fabric mending;
36 titches; making
doll othes; and numerous
items. Ask for
Spears’
embroidery
gif
L, NI ’ » from
AS) ok No. 2, encios-
ing 10 cents to cover cost. Address:
Mrs Drawer 10, Bedford
i — >
y all summer.
onvenient
er —
ff 1..* 3} EL
r dealers display.
yO
FERRY'S
. oareo SEEDS
———
way
As He Saw It
y os 4 nyt ad an antho
We have not read an aul
ha 8 object,
4
VESPER TEA
PURE ORANGE PEKOE
50 Cups for 10 Cents
:
i
Fe Tea Facts= How to wake Tes i
Lh Rr ti Re RR V7
iad
This magnificent
hotel offers you one
of the 700 mes?
comfortable bed: im
8 Marylond; tooth
some Maryland
delicacies mn either
of the fine restau
ronts; end your
“favorite” . . . mixed
in the Morylond
monner in eny of
the bars or the lun
urious Cockteil
lounge. $3 to $6
single.
Se
ORD BALTIMORE)
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
NN... _”