i
-~
As Told to:
FRANK E. HAGAN and
ELMO SCOTT WATSON
Champion of the Oil Fields
SK any Texas or Oklahoma ofl
driller who's the best In his busi-
ness and he's pretty certain to answer
“Why, Kemp Morgan, of course!”
Ask him why and he will tell you
it's because Kemp had more unusual
experiences than any other seeker
after “black gold” ever did,
For instance there was the time
Kemp lost his best drill. He was
working in soft ground but he noticed
that the drill kept going slower and
slower the farther it went down. Pret-
ty soon it stopped completely. When
Kemp tried to pull it out, it was stuck
fast. Come to find out that he had
hit an alum mine and the hole had
shrunk up around the drill so tight
that even Kemp couldn't budge It
Then there was the time a Texas
“norther” swooped down on Kemp's
rig. But it didn't stop him—no sir-
ree! He just kept on drilling, and
brought in a 22-inch gusher. It was
so cold that the oil froze as it spurted
upward so there was a solid column of
frigid oll. Kemp just took out his
knife, hacked it off in three-foot
lengths and shipped it to the refinery
on flat cars.
That was in Texas but Kemp had a
funny experience once in Oklahoma.
He drilled a well so deep that 1t
tapped a rubber mine ‘way down In
Brazil, She began to gush pure rub-
ber, so Kemp just blew his hot breath
on it to make it solid, cut it off in 11-
foot lengths and shipped it to that
place in Ohio where they make solid
tires for trucks.
When the average driller brings in a
“dustet,” he moves his rig away from
there pronto. But not Kemp Morgan!
He knew what a tough time the Kan-
eas farmers had digging postholes in
the summer when the ground was
baked hard. So whenever he'd strike
a dry hole, he'd just take his two
hands, pull it up four feet and two
inches at a time and saw it off. Then
he'd ship a carload of these lengths
across the state line where they al-
ways found a market,
Private Life of Jonah
T WASN'T a whale which swallowed
Jonah, theorizes Stanley Suchwalko,
it was a big-mouthed fish in northern
Michigan. His friend, Laddle Hornik,
captured the monster in 1930.
Laddie Inspected the fish, which had
laid down its life while being hooked,
gaffed and beaten over the head with
a pair of oars, and couldn't decide
what to do with it. The size seemed
to destroy the fish's commercial value
and imagine Laddie’s surprise, says
Stanley, when the first stranger to
arrive bid a fabulous price for the
fish's scales.
Laddie yelled “Sold!” Then he re-
covered his polse, sheared off the
scales, counted the money and watched
the stranger bear the scales away,
“What'll you do with ‘em? asked
Laddie.
“I'm a spade manufacturer from Mo
line, IIL,” replied the buyer. “I've got
material here for 6,400 spades of the
best chilled steel.”
Buyer after buyer pald staggering
prices for different parts of the fish
and Laddie, says Stanley, didn't get
wise until a tremendous price was bid
and accepted for the fish's stomach.
The stomach buyer immediately slit
open the fish's belly and revealed the
golden throne upon which Jonak had
been seated during his long captivity.
“It's cheap at half the price,” stated
the buyer with pardonable satisfaction
as he brushed a stray fin from his
precious purchase,
The Despondent Grasshoppers
SEASONED maxim of the copy-
books is that frequently a real cry
does a person good. Leonard Baller,
once a Nebraska farmer, Is sure of it
Raln washed away the rallroads
around his Nebraska lands; the drouth
hit him squarely; then the dust storms
killed every living thing and his land
wns dry as the Inside of a grain bin
At this moment, the grasshoppers ar-
rived by millions and settled on his
farms,
Wasn't a thing for the "hoppers to
eat but they were too tired to move
on and Leonard almost lost hope. As
a last gesture, however he rushed out
among the despondent grasshoppers,
sitting there in the dust, and planted
several
hardiest onlons he could buy.
To hig surprise the onions matured
quickly. The moment their bulbs ap-
peared above ground the grasshoppers
pounced on them, ate ravenously and
burst into tears,
bad drowned themselves 1 was able,
of course, to raise a normal crop.”
‘ © Western Newspaper Union.
Theory Pre-Dates Pasteur
older than the discoveries of Louls
Pasteur, with whose name It 18 ssso-
the Mélical society of the state of
New York. He produced serums for
anthrax, rables and other diseases
But before Pasteur was born, a Seven
teenth century German scholar named
Athanasius Kircher noted that files
visit the sick and Infect the well by
contaminating their food.
|
{
i
ALL ALIKE
whom he had not seen for a number
of years.
“Hallo, old chap,” he sald heartily.
“I hear you've been engaged for near-
ly a year, Who Is the woman in the
case?”
“I don't think you know her,” re
plied Jackson, “She's a Miss Terry.”
The other shook his head gravely.
“I understand, old chap,” he replied.
“I've been married to one for ten
years, and she's still a mystery,”
Stray Stories,
ONE WAY
“But your fiance's salary Is so small
how are you going to live?
“Oh, we're going to economize, We're
going to do without a lot of things
that Tom wants.”
Not Fair
Two patients were alring thelr
grievances In the asylum grounds,
Said one: “It's an outrage. I've
been here ten years, and I'm as sane
as anybody.”
“So am 1" chimed in the other, “and
I've been here 12 years. Let's go and
tell the Governor.”
“Wait a minute,” sald the first.
going to test you"
Then, putting her hands behind her
back, she sald: “What have I got It
my hand?
“A tramcar,” promptly answered the
other.
“You cheat!™
tort. “Xou
Tit-Bits,
“I'ry
the heated re
pick It up!"-
was
BAW me
Pinch Hitting
At a marriage service performed In
a little country church, when the min-
ister said In solemn tones, “Wilt thou
have this man to be thy wedded hus-
band, etc.” Instead of the woman an-
swering for herself, a gruff man's
volce answered “1 will!”
The minister looked up, very much
perplexed, and paused. He repeated
the sentence, and again the same gruff
voice answered, “1 will!™
The minister up,
man seated at the end of the first row
said, “She's deaf, parson, an' I'm an-
swerin' for her!”
looked when a
Everyone a Loser
A small boy came hurriedly down
the street, and halted breathlessly in
front of a stranger who was walking
in the same direction.
“Have you lost half a dollar? he
asked.
“Yes, yes, 1 believe I have!™ sald
the stranger, feeling In his pocket.
“Have you found one?”
“Oh, no,” sald the boy. “1 just
want to find out how many have been
lost today. Yours makes 55.”.
OCCUPATIONAL
“Sometimes Sue speaks and some
times she doesn't”
“Yes. She got that way since she
| took a position In the telephone ex.
change.”
When Fido Won't Lie Down
“A man is entitled to his opinion*
“Of course,” answered Senator Sor.
ghum, “but an opinion may, in the
course of time, be like an unfriendly
dog. You don't care so much to as
sert ownership. What you'd like would
be a painless way of getting rid of it.”
Final Refuge
“ls there anything in this job of
tax collector—any future in It?"
| “Well, when you're through theyll
| let you in at some home for the friend
| less.”
The Prairie Wolf
“Why do you refer to your favorite
| eandidate as the prairie wolf?”
“Well, it's customary to give a pop
ular aspirant some animal name, And
| he's one of those fellows who manage
| to get just out of gunshot range and
then bark and holler till nobody can
sleep.”
League
Kitchenet—Well, the League of Na.
tions opens up a new season,
Kumidorecas— Who's throwing out the
first bawl?—Loulsville Courler-Journal.
!
. pet od
HH
Prepared by the National Geographic Society,
Washington, D. C.—WNU Service,
HE annual spring rush of tour-
ists to Washington is on. In
the Nation's Capital even the
perennial visitor Is greeted with
something new to enjoy. This year
new buildings, recently opened, in and
near the great triangle between the
Capitol and the Ellipse, will be a fea-
ture of a tour of the city.
Gaze down upon the modern Wash-
ington from an airplane. As always,
the simple grandeur of the White
House, the Capitol, the Lincoln Me-
morial, and the towering Washington
monument draw the eye and make the
heart beat faster. But near them new
wonders have appeared.
Quietly and steadily, with so little
fuss that residents were hardly aware
of it, carloads of stone
and mountains in
aggregate—have been hauled into the
city and reared into monumental bulld-
ings.
Acres and acres of old, unsightly
structures have been razed on Capitol
Hill, around its base, and along broad,
historic Pennsylvania avenue, In their
stretch parks, wide boulevards,
long, handsome houses of govern-
thousands of
metal—whole the
hace
or
vent,
In the angle formed by the intersec-
flon of Pennsylvania avenue and the
new Constitution avenue, beautiful
Champs-Elysees or Rue de Rivoll of
Washington, rises a mighty wedge of
masonry, the famed “Federal Tri
angle,” eight blocks long.
In this group
amazing collection of
building that the world has seen.
They make their own weather, In
hottest summer the air inside Is cooled
to the f a fine spring
of
day.
is
ef rs ora
Bingie
government
temperature
tht
Liki
Beneath
work
loyees,
the roofs of Triangle
nearly 20000 government em-
about as many as th
«N.Y,
Every
e¢ entire
or Day-
dozens
tion of Batavia
day
its 20 miles of
Massive and Beautiful,
high
or more
skyscrapers have
gides, formed into
from
dozen
is staggering,
it is as if balf a
New York's
tallest
been laid on their
even
os
ed to make courts and wings, One
unit—~the Commerce department-—is
longer than the Chrysler building is
tall,
jut It Is not merely an Impression
of bigness that one has in the wan-
dering plane, Long ranks of ma-
jestic columns, graceful arcades, =a
wide plaza, and solid rock walls give
a beauty and simplicity that make
these enormous pewcomers fit com-
panions for the classic White House
and Capitol,
The airplane turns, and far off In
the distance, beyond the Capitol dome,
appears a gleaming white marble tem-
ple, comparable in beauty even to the
noble Lincoln Memorial. This Is the
new United States Supreme Court
building, the only real home of its own
that the nation’s highest court has
had,
For the first time In American his.
tory a citizen now might gaze upon
the separate, permanent abodes of the
three branches of his government
legislative, the Capitol; executive, the
White House, and now, for the judi.
cial, long sheltered In the old senate
chamber, this temple whose dignity
and impressiveness match the majesty
of the law Itself,
Suspended In History.
As you cruise about, other splendid
white bulldings appear, new jewels In
the familiar setting along the Poto-
mac,
Beyond the Lincoln shrine the new
Arlington Memorial bridge links north
and south. Down the Virginia shore
the Father of his Country.
From the steps of the Capitol all the
way down to the river, two and a third
miles away, sweeps a broad stretch
of tree-dotted park land. Gone Is
qiuch of the mushroom growth of tem.
jorary wartime structures. Thelr re-
moval gives new beauty to this Mall,
malin feature of the grand plan con
%ived by the Revolutionary soldier.
wrtist, Maj, Plerre Charles L'Enfant,
vhen he laid out this city with broad,
iweeping, prophetic strokes to be the
mpital of a vast country,
Hanging between earth and sky, you
mem suspended fo history, halfway
setween the past and the wsofathom.
able future. How would the city look
1 hitndred years hence, or twenty, or a
wousand 7
The Senate Office building, off there
at the left, has had its face lifted—
and a handsome face it now is, with a
long row of Roman Dorie columns,
A street car line that once marred the
scene dips discreetly underground, Be-
neath a broad lawn is a subterranean
garage in which 270 senatorial cars
can be parked,
Supreme Court Building,
Jut to look upon the latest crowning
glory of Capitol hill one should stand
on the front steps of the Capitol,
where Presidents are inaugurated, and
see the new Supreme Court building,
its beauty heightened by the green of
trees and grass,
It occupies a historic
patriots in powdered forgath-
ered at a famous old run by
William Tunnicliff on this spot before
the War of 1812 After Britis}
burned the Capitol In 1814, a building
erected here housed congress until the
marks of the torch were erased. In
Civil war times it used as a
military prison,
Everything
home Ig on a majestic scale.
Look at
at each side of the steps.
weighs 45 tons. They are
heaviest marble blocks ever
into Washington,
The two bronze doors
pounds apiece. The eight Corinthian
columns are 5134 feet high, The pedi-
ment above them catches the eye, not
alone for its size, but for its Interest.
ing sculptures in which features
of historic or living men are
nized,
Inside the massive bronze portals a
main hall lined with 38 stately col
umns—each made from one solid pi
of stone—leads to the courtroom
site. Early
wigs
hotel
the
was
about the Supreme court's
those blocks of mar
Each bl
two of the
brought
ane
ck
weigh 3,000
the
recog.
where
the nine black-robed justices At
their own request, the room was mad
only about 60 per cent larger in
area than the old Supreme court
in
sit.
ie
Aanr
room
the Capitol
Behind the are the quar
tered-oak-paneled offices of the justices,
each of whom will have about
courtroom
wi iy 0}
RE much
three had offices
and most of the members
at
To assure the justices privacy,
building's corridors can be
closed by big bronze gates,
Wonderful Libraries.
In the Folger Shakespeare library,
down the street, reposes a fine collec
tion of books and Elizabethan treas-
tires, even the supposed corset of
Queen Elizabeth, solemnly stowed
away in a vault and shown only to a
chosen few,
Behind the Library of Congress an
annex almost to double its capacity is
being bulit, although already it is the
largest library in the world, with more
than 9,840,000 books, pamphlets, pleces
of music, and other items at the latest
count,
Down from Capitol hill, past a shin-
ing new House Office building lately
reared beside the first one, the trail
Capitol. Only
there at all,
sylvania avenue,
In some of its now vanished build.
ings—masses of rubble and ruined
walls then—the first bricks flew in the
“bonus army” riots of 1082,
Halfway along “The Avenue,” be
tween the Capitol and White House,
there stretched off to the left in the
early days of the city a dreary swamp
where Washingtonlans were wont to
shoot “reedbirds.”
Later the swamp was filled In, and
the old Center Market, dubbed the
Marsh or "Ma’'sh” Market, was erect.
ed there. Five years ago, the ram:
shackle market bulldings still occu.
pled the spot, and thousands of rats
inhabited the premises which had long
been a cornucopia for them,
An energetic government hit upon
this location as a key point In its
building program. Here would rest
the tip of the Federal Triangle. Wreck-
ing operations began. Scientific Pled
§5%83
Hi
iii:8
:
Repeat Honeymoon
By EVELYN VOSS WISE
© McClure Newspaper Syndicate,
WHU Bervice.
ETSY turned for a last fleeting
glance at Roel before ascending
the wide Ivory staircase, That was
the way she would always remember
him, she thought, his long legs
stretched before him, his firm fingers
grasping the arms of the chalr and his
head resting thoughtfully between the
wings, Bhe had expected him to make
more of a fight, to be angry or excited,
when she told him of her decision to
divorce him. Yet she might have
known he would be like this. She
her
eyes,
“Rachel.”
“Yes, Mrs. Colby.”
“Will you help me dress now?
Jetsy seated herself before the blue
gatin and gold dressing table. It was
kind of Helen to lend her house and
Rachel. Helen, who on her third trip
to Reno must know what Betsy was
experiencing,
She had believed that when Roel was
told, a distressing situation would be
over, After the divorce she and Rob-
ert Peel would go quietly to Greenwich
and be married,
“I can see why women get divorces,
but if they're goin’ to do it, it should
be right away. You ean't live with a
person for a long time without having
the break hurt” sald Rachel
“I've
that tod
Rachel
on three honeymoons,
0
married five Is
ng
been Years,
3 Ie
heen
what
and
NOON Was
nodded eagerly. “I've
80 I know
I'm talking about. couldn't st
another one,
in France, A littl
The
head
ea,
easier,
power and wealth”
Betsy shuddered,
of these-—hut she los
Roel
* Once in
silver skirt In soft
“Even dix
Where t!
and the first
Rache)
isn't much left in life
-
She arranged the
lines over Betsy's |
¥
hv
HE, Gree
ran ome a habit, ere are
11 »
no children is
intly
nly,
of youth
gone" liffer
“there
‘
for ex-
citement
For a full moment Betsy gazed
tachel's face
and glos
wi ’
i» ‘on
ked © p ber wrap
ng a
2 fled down
nach
the stal i and serene
A8 Khe
but finshed
telept
A tall
Her hea
to R
“Betray.”
“You? she asked It
“Yes” Roel k
heart in his
one
Fall
ancly
ked down
eyes
“My knees refused to move. I just
sat on-—thinking. Detssy—conldn’t we
try again?
“When the first of youth is gone and
there are no children™ Rachel had
said. Betsy felt tears flooding her
eyes, Roel's dear strong arms were
holding her firmly,
A gray-bhaired woman listened from
the stairway.
“Well” she sald grimly.
tled, Miss Helen wonld have insisted
I go with her, I said 1 couldn't stand
another honeymoon, and I can't. Bat,
dear God, instead of Miss Ilelen hav.
ing three, Inst one of them might have
been mine.”
gently hut
“That's set-
Aged Doll Exhibited at
Recent Show in London
Dolls have heen the playthings of
children from time Immemorial—and
in every land, This was shown hy an
exhibition of “dolls through the ages”
which was held recently at Hamley's,
the famous London toy shop, writes a
London correspondent in the Detroit
Free Press.
One doll from Egypt was 4.000 years
old, It had spent nearly all those
years In a tomb, having been buried
with a child so that she might have
n toy to play with on her long journey
to the “other land.”
A great deal younger was the wood
ert doll's head discovered In the foun
dations of Christ's hospital, London,
when the old bulldings were demol-
ished. There Is a curious explanation
of Its presence there,
It was a superstition in former bar
barous times that, to insure a new
building having good luck, a living
creature must be walled up in it, When
our ancestors grew more civilized, they
mans,
Children today love to have dolls
fashioned after their screen favorites,
{
Dainty Collars and
Jabots to Crochet
Pattern 1134
High time to be thinking up fresh
accessory notes for spring wardrobe,
isn't Then what better than
these’ alry, lacy collars and dainty
Jabot for giving last year's frock a
“lift” and changing this year's so it
wins recognition! There's an open
front ilar In a square mesh de-
a triangular eollar that closes
in back, both easy to do In petite
boucle, The soft, flattering Jabot of
of Irish roses
it?
CL
:
ign,
mesh with
is made In ¢
Pattern
detalled 4d making the
collars Illustration of
ar all the stitches needed;
nOSEnS
you with
them
materinl requirements,
Rend 1° ins or stamps
» Rewing Clr-
52 Eighth
{coins
cle, Nesllec
YOU RISK BLOOD POISONING IFYOU DO
Razors, caustic liquids and harsh
plasters are dangerous. The safe,
quick way to remove coms is wit
New De Luxe Dr, Scholl's Zino-
pads. They instantly relieve pain;
stop shoe pressure; soothe, heal and pre
vent sore toes and blisters. Fiosh color;
waterproof ; don’t stick to stocking. Sold
ot all drug, shoe and department stores,
Dr Scholls
Zino-pads 4
Readability of Signs
Tests in Pennsylvania dem
at a
nstrate
painted
an any
KILLS INSECTS
ON FLOWERS » FRUITS
VEGETABLES & SHRUBS
Demand original scaled
botiics, from your dealer
A FARMER BOY
25 “ig, NE of the best known
1 Ee medical men in the
Ly % U.S was Dr. R WV.
wy Pierce of Buffalo, N. Yo.
" who was born on a {sem
in Pa. Dr. Pierot’s Goid-
en Medical Discovery is
an befall extract which
eliminates poisons from
f the intestines and tones
. up the digestive system,
Pimples and blotches caused by faulty elimi
nation disappear and you feel the strengthens
ing effect of this well tried medicioe. Buy now]
a...
18-38
No Need to Suffer
“Moming Sickness”
“Morning sickness” —is caused by an
acid condition. To avoid it, acid must be
offset by alkalis——such as magnesia.
Why Physicians Recommend
Milnesia Wafers
These mintflavored, candy like wafers are
pure milk of magnesia in solid fora—
the most pleasant way to take it. Each
wafer is approximately equal to a full adult
dose of liquid milk of magnesia. Chewed
thoroughly, then swallowed, they correct
acidity in the mouth and throughout the
digestive system and insure quick, com-
plete elimination of the waste matters that
cause gas, headaches, bloated feelings and
a dozen other discomforts,
Milnesia Wafers come in bottles of 20 and
48, at 35¢ and 60c respectively, and in
convenient tins for your handbag contain.
ing 12 at 20c. Each wafer is i .
one adult dose of milk of magnesia. All"
good drug stores sell and recomtaend thems +» 1
Start using these delicious, effective
anthacld, gently laxative wafers today
sent ; fan
physicians or dentists if request ws malls
Jetterhead, Select wi
on Products,
Inc, 4402 230d S1., Long Ilend City, N.Y,
WNU—4