BRISBANE
THIS WEEK
AAA Is No More
Who Will Pay Now?
Only 11 Can Run Fast
The State of the Union
The Supreme court decision reject.
ing AAA, the “agricultural adjust.
ment act,” affects
every American di
rectly. Issued Just
as the President
announced his pro-
gram to balance
the national
get within
one
dollars, the decision
upsets that admin-
istration program,
Men with large
incomes, of whom
few survive, may
worry, for the de-
cision takes from
the government sev-
en hundred million a year of proe-
essing taxes that will have to be made
good elsewhere, The manufacturers’,
or processing, tax, handed along to
the little people, was, in reality, a sales
tax on life's necessities—cotton cloth,
flour, meat.
Arthur Brisbane
The question is, Who will provide
cash promised the farmers, since the
Supreme court will not sanction the
sales tax, disguised as n “pross” tax?
Whence will come the hundreds of
millions the government owes to farm-
ers under its AAA promiss and has
not yet pald? The farmers did their
part, the government could hardly fall
to do its part by paying.
International News Service sports
department shows that out of about
1.800,000000 human beings on earth
only 11 are known that can run a mile
at really high speed. Of these not
more than four would have any chance
of beating an Individual named Glenn
Cunningham of Kansas,
You would think that the billlon un-
known uncounted among the so-called
“backward races,” many with native
energy, free of civilization's handicaps,
could easily be trained to beat the 11
fast ones, but it Is not probable.
address “on the
state of the Unlon™ was, like nearly
all Presidential an address
on the state of the administration
Discussing danger of war, If it is
true that “S85 or 90 per cent of all the
people in the world are content with
the territorial limits of their respec
tive nations,” that would
10 or 15 per cent of the aggressive
type.
The President's
speeches,
leave only
Lloyd George, playing a little poll
ties with his friend Prime Minister
Jaldwin, exults in the noble moral
uprising of the British, rejecting the
terrible, immoral plan to divide Ethi-
opia and placate Italy. Something
“without precedent,” Lloyd George
calls It,
Where England is concerned, “divid-
ing up” is, Indeed, almost without
precedent. England's custom as a rule
fs to swallow things whole, as she did
with the Transvaal, India, and other
territories that have kept her old fight-
Ing flag always in the sunshine,
The Methodist Episcopal church is
proud to announce in Nashville, Tenn.
that It begins 10368 with 2.783.200 reg-
ularly enrolled members, sn Increase
over the preceding year of 31.208 with
21.3681 baptized infants not Included
This is the reply of the Methodist
Episcopalians to the “high church”
Episcopalians of the English church
altogether as a fallore,
Children will learn
unless you like it. Other vegetables
menacing person called “Pop-Eye.”
to eat it. One well known New York
physician ventures the opinion that
spinach contains an objectionable
amount of “vegetable urle acid.”
ested, If they have forgotten about it,
to see photographs of one big Egyp-
finished its bombardment.
exceptionally complete Job, nothin
left standing. .
A twefity-year-old Poughkeepsie girl,
“from the other glide of the tracks”
working for $0 a week, was invited
by a young man to get into his auto
moblle. “Want to go somewhere for a
drink, baby?" was the invitation for
mula. In the morning the unfortunate
giri was found In the man's car in a
garage, dead, horribly mistreated and
beaten to death. The excuse for men-
tioning so dreadful a crime Is that it
ought to warn all girls foolish enough
to accept Invitations from unknown
men.
New Jersey says the execution of
Hauptmann, close at hand, will be no
Associated,
ewaprpers
and
WNU
Bervice
What have we here?
We have an automobile.
How big Is the automobile?
It is a four-passenger automobile,
How many people are in the automo.
pile?
Eight people and a dog.
How can eight people and a dog get
into a four-passenger automobile?
We've often wondered about that,
too,
Are the people comfortable?
Certainly not, Even the dog Is suf-
fering.
Where are they going?
They are going to the country or
shore on the regular Sunday motor
trip.
How long will It take them?
They will be all day getting there
and all night getting back.
Why?
On account of the traffic congestion.
Will they enjoy the outing?
No, In fact they will be pretty mis
erable every moment, and about mid.
day the suffering will have become
pronounced.
Then why do they take this trip
every Sunday?
It's an old American custom.
* - -
THE STORY OF OSCAR
1—Oscar’'s par.
ents had great am-
bitlons for the hoy.
2-When he was a
little fellow they
used to take
around the house
and point out the
oll paintings of his
ancestors,
3—~Most of them
had been
men.
4-They sent him to the best schools
and then to a university where he
would get the democratic touch.
They never ceased
that in
had a chance to become President. and
they liked to impress upon him that
hig chances were hetter than average
6—Thelr idea was that he should
get a ad education and then enter
the Law. Most Presidents came from
the Law, they sald
7—He inherited certain statesman.
like Instincts and the ability to mix
well on necessary occasions
S8—After graduation he went Into
politics and his folks saw that he had
the right sponsors.
O-—He was soon looked upon ns a
rising young man In the affairs of the
state and won a state senatorship In
states.
hire
"10—Everybody liked Oscar. He had a
11—After a few years he became
12-Then they began to talk of him
13—~He looked like a cinch for the
White House,
14—Then came the 1929 collapse and
chaos. Oscar observed the troubles of
15~But the party went on booming
16—Oscar fooled them, however,
17—He suddenly quit the state and
Canyon,
18-—He left a note saying that he
MORAL~Now and then you find a
man who can sidetrack an ambition.
® & =»
WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THESE SENTENCES?
1-The gas company made a mistake
and read the meter so that the cus
tomer benefited,
2-The middle-aged lady passenger
on the ocean voyage did not make a
fuss about the loention of her steamer
chair or ask which side of the boat was
the sunny side,
3—"We can’t use a skit like that”
when the pitcher disputed
lawn with grass seed had no trouble
at all keeping the neighbors’ dogs,
chickens and children off.
speakeasy
CURIOUS FACTS FOR
CURIOUS PEOPLE
The happiest people In the world
are members of a tribe in the Interior
of Africa. They have never heard of
contract bridge.
Ninety-seven per cent of all auto
moblle owners never talk about testing
the alr In a spare tire until they have
a blowout nine miles from nowhere.
The average life of a sponge diver
is 35,6781 dives,
Statisticians have figured that less
than 3§ of 1 per cent of all men who
go flounder fishing do so because they
like it. They merely find it a good way
to get away from thelr wives
George D, Phillersby, of Gadgetville,
Mont., has a fountain pen which has
never falled him,
The ancient Greeks did not know
what strawberry shortcake was, which
may account for their physical fitness,
A straw hat blown off In a wind
will roll under a truck In seven out of
tén cases.
Watch fobs are gradually disappear
tng from American life. This is also
The idea of making a cruller with a
hole in the center was thought up by
a man named Pooksey.
HEALTH RHYMES
Masticate each mouthful well,
Never overeat:
Always wear your rubbers In
Snow or rain or sleet!
rush your teeth quite carefully
Don't neglect your sleep;
And In anything yon do
Look before you leap!
Watch your calories and don't
Strain or hurt your eyes:
Bear in mind that you most have
Abundant exercise!
Guard your health from morn to
night
O'er your diet fuse;
And you'll probably expire
Underneath a bus!
»* * »
SCRAMBLED LETTERS TEST
The names of what leaders in Amer.
fean politics are spelled If the follow.
ing letters are correctly rearranged?
Msith. Hreoov, Davsl
Oorsetley, Muryra, Rahob,
Rekab, Guuoy. Ragner,
Reithile, Doomea. Rasboe,
(BEd. Note.~Any normal person
should be able to*figure these out In
able winds)
: Lo
OUR FEATHERED FRIENDS
The Robin
but you can get
trusting it too implicitly.
| Quilt of Blocks That
Picture Nursery Phymes
By GRANDMOTHER CLARK
the nursery tales that every
knows will Interest both
young. Always a good subject for a
old
her child.
inch blocks stamped on a good qual
ity bleached quilting material ang
The embroidery work is In the out-
line stitch. Use any color thread.
Address Home Craft Co, Dept. A—
Nineteenth and St. Louis Ave. St
Louls, Mo, Inclose a stamped
dressed envelope for reply
writing for any Information,
Week Varies From 3 to 8
Days Throughout the World
The length of a week varies In dif.
ferent parts of the world from three
to eight days. The seven-day week
is, of course, the most widely em-
ployed,
But the five-day week is not un-
popular as it is used today in both
China and Russia, whose combined
populaton of 640,000,000 represents
nearly one-third of all the people in
the world. Collier's.
IN AND OUT
Tove Is funny. You fall in be
cise you are together too much,
and fall out for the same reason,
Knitting Fad in Prehistorie
Arctic Circle Settlement
Prehistoric knitting needles, five.
teeth combs and spoong of mammoth
bone have been found Ih an ancient
settlement near Obdorsk, northern
Siberia, by an expedition sent out by
the Institute of Anthropology and
Ethnography of the Academy of
Science of the U, 8. 8. R. It has ex
cavated 12,000 articles of pottery and
bone, some of which are unique,
Besides knitting needles, combs and
spoons, they include miniature hoes
for tilling fields, pleces of melting
pots for metal, and bones of animals
and birds which no longer Inhabit
the Yamal peninsula on which Ob
dorsk stands. The numerous remains |
found shows that the peninsula, |
which is within the Arctic eircle,
was one densely populated,
stops DANDRUFF
You need a
medicine 10 reals
ly end Dandruff
and the itching
it causes. So
stop experi
menting. Use
Glover'sMange
Hsdicing ad
poo Wi
Glover's Medi-
cated Soap reg-
wvlarly. Starteoday!
Af sll drag stones.
GLOVERS
MANGE MEDICINE
Now You See It, Now You
Don’t; and Then Chief Does
A Ban Francisco lunch stand pro- |
prietor counted his money—£19 short,
He counted it again—0, K. He re.
peated the process and called Police
RHEUMATISM
Free Trial Relief
“You count it,” he sald. “I'm going
Highly Magnified Acid Crystals
No matter how long you have suf.
fered, try the medical discovery
Rutoxol, endorsed by 2.100 physicians
and many thousands of former victims
who now work, play and again enjoy life.
Foster counted the money—0. K.
on the o »
on the other, Polson acid crystals carried by the
blood into body tissues and joints cause
the pains, swellings, stiffness of rheg-
matism. neuritis, sciatica, Jumbago.
To dissolve and expel these acid
crystals and so gain relief, write to
Dept. 1. Matthews laboratories, 121
W. 17th Bt. New York City for an abso-
lutely Free Trial Treatment of Rutoxol
America Growing
The American continent has ex-
panded in breadth about forty feet
in the last nine years,
How Calotabs Help Nature
To Throw Off a Bad Cold
Millions have found in Calotabs a | Second, Calotabs are diuretic to the
most valuable aid in the treatment | kidneys, promoting the elimination
of colds. They take one or two tab- | of cold poisons from the system. Thus
lets the first night and repeat the | Calotabs serve the double purpose of
third or fifth night if needed. | a purgative and diuretic, both of
How do Calotabs help Nature! which are needed in the treatment
throw off a cold? First, Calotabs is | of colds.
one of the most thorough and de- Calotabs are quite economical;
pendable of all intestinal eliminants, | only twenty-five cents for the family
thus cleansing the intestinal tract of | package, ten cents for the trial
the germ-laden mucus and toxines. | package. (Adv.)
and all your farm
Ground Grip Tires.
will not need chains.
promptly get into lighter weight ap
parel and begin raking the lawn, plant.
ing flower sgeds and developing a cold
in the head.
No bird has been responsible for
more pneumonia.
The female robin hag a duller coat
than the male, which has a very red
breast, or maybe it is vice versa,
Anyhow, most of the poetry 1s writ.
ten about the one with the red breast,
The robin stays north all summer
and makes life miserable for worms.
It goes south in time to escape the
first biting blasts of winter.
All things considered, it leads a
. 0»
Place of
Mombasa, on the coast of Britain's
Kenya colony, which borders both Ethi.
opla and Itallan Bomaliland, is known
by the natives as M'vita, literally, “the
there with natives, Arabs with natives,
and it has been a place of eall for pl
rates, ivory traders, and one of the
great centers of the African slave
than 509.
No farmer can
©1996, 7.7. 4 R. Co
. |
FOR CARS
4.40/4.50/4.75-21...8 7.88
4.75/5.00-19
4.50/4.7% /5.00-20. . .
5.25/5.50-17
5.25/5.50-18. ........
vehicles on Firestone
HEAVY DUTY
4.40/4.50/4.75-21...% 9.80
4.75 /5.00-19 10.60
4.50/4.75 /5.00.20.,.. 10.38%
5.25/5.50-17......... 12.80
$.25/5.50-18......... 12.78%
FOR TRUCKS
32x6 Truck Type. ... $27.68
3256 HD............ 30.28
60020. ....0000v.... 16.98
LR
GOB 0s va asus vunen
VSO. nieiiiinses
BSR... cucivunaers
BAS... avs iisnai
afford to be without
5.50-16............. 811.08
7.50.18. SERB ER rE 17.4%
6.00
11.15-24. ............