IRON DOG GROWLS
The use to which the phototube,
popularly known as the electric eye,
i8 put are literally numberless. One
of the most peculiar {8 used by a
approaches he is startled by growls,
for on his approach he interrupts a
eye and that sets off the vocal mech-
anism-—a big, raucous buzzer.—Oil
Power.
IT WORKED
MPCRE people could feel fine, be
fit and regular, if they would
only follow the rule of doctors and
hospitals in Jelieving constipation.
ever take any laxative that is
harsh in action. Or one, the dose of
which can’t exactly measured,
Doctors know the danger if this rule
is violated. They use liguid laxatives,
and keep reducing the dose until the
bowels need no help at all.
Reduced dosage is the secret of
aiding Nature in restoring regularity.
You must use a little less laxative
each time, and that's why it should
be a liquid like Syrup Pepsin.
Ask Your druggist for a bottle of
Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin, and if
it doesn’t give you absolute relief, if
it isn’t a joy and comfort in the way
it overcomes biliousness due to con-
stipation, your money back.
Gloom Is Seasoning
Gloom is the seasoning which gives
joy its savor, just as failure is the
salt which provokes the appetite for
SUCCess.
* Quick, Safe Relief
For Eyes Irritated
By Exposure
RUT T|
and Dust —
3
FOR YOUR
Hl
Hollgwood Stars Do
So Can Youn
Wear a Hollywood Beauty Helmet 2»
while dressing and save hair-dress- |
ing and cleaning bills, Send P.O.)
money order $1.98 to
POROTHY YOUNG
P. 0. Box 1684, Hollywood, Calil.
Ne
Bat the Man Didn't
Indians were once found of scalp
ing a man, but they had to get over
it.
Laxative combination
folks know is trustworthy
The confidence thousands of parents have
in good, old reliable, powde Thedford's
Black-Draught has prompted them to get
the new Syrup of Black Draught for their
children. grown folks stick to the
powdered Black Draught; the youngsters
probably will prefer it when they outgrow
their childish love of sweets. . . Mrs. C. W,
Adams, of Murray, Ky., writes: “1 have
used Thedford’s Black-Draught (powder)
about thirteen years, taking i¢ for bilious.
ess, Black-Dranght acts well and [ am
slways pleased with the results, [| wanted
a , reliable laxative for my children.
I have found Syrup of Black Draught to
be just that™
BLACK-DRAUGHT
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right pair 25¢ delivered In U. 8 Money
ack guarantee, Agents wanted, Specialty
Co, Box 289, . Omlif,
we
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SCL IET L
“OH WAD THE POWERS"
An elegant young woman strolled
down the main street of Skople.
Yugoslavia, attracting admiring
ly a man dashed out of a shop, lifted
ker off her feet, took off her shoes
and set her down again to walk home
The assailant,
a shoemaker, explained that the
world
bit |
Do- |
all the
a little
SEX, SEX, SEX—I'M SICK .
all In same way-—
OF IT
body would know it
By STEPHEN LEACOCK
1 think that
now, All the
MAGINE that if
went crazy—Jjust
are golng-—no,
crazy.”
crazy,
«In the old Victorian days, now pass-
ing out of memory women bad quite a
different place from what they have |
pow. The men did everything and ran |
everything, and women represented |
the
is happening
of today |
gone—""sex
is what
geneatlons
they ve
the household side.
The only sericus job given over to |
women was that of the care of sick. |
They didn't really know anything |
about it—had never seen a clinical
thermometer; but they filled the sick-
room with flowers (carbonic acid gas)
and sat snd did needle work beside the
bed. It wasn't bad. People often got |
well,
Then things began to change. Wome
en began to get educated, to break |
into the colleges, to volte, to carry on
professions Everybody knows all
that. It wouldn't have mattered so
much If the ornamental stuff
dropped off with it:
like ash barrels would have sat
committees with men in overalls,
jut instead of that there arose all
the new “sex-stuff” that has trans |
formed the world since the days of the |
had |
on |
early nineties that some of us still re |
member as the days of our youth. i
From the magazines the girl's face, |
as the emblem of the present sex en
slavement, spread everywhere. A gro-
cery firm wants to order a Christmas
calendar for their customers:—What
design do they put on it?—a ham? a
cheese? a Bologna sausage? That's
what they used to do, in the early
nineties, and a skilled artist of those
days could combine those three things
with a charm that made your mouth
water,
jut now, oh no!-just a great, girl's
face—or at most a girl's face eating a |
Jologna sausage and saying, “How do |
you like my Bologna?”
They put girls’ faces now on eal
endars, on book jackets, on posters and
placards; next year they are going on
billls, invoices and government blue
books.
The worst of it is that presently
people began inventing a new set of
words to go along with the new sex-
stuff,
The biggest and most successful was
“sex-appeal” No one heard of any
thing of that sort in the early nine-
ties. But all the Miss Americas are
supposed to have it: and the men and
This
“sex-appeal "whatever the
In my time back ia the early
Now it Is quite different. 1 Imagine
a Job for want of it
I think that one thing that helped
along all this “sex-appeal” stuff was
the fact of women getting into games.
lawn tennis came first, They were In
that from the start. Back in the nine.
ties we didn't look on lawn tennis as a
game in the real sense, It was just
a sissy business on a lawn-~played
with girls as part of an aflernoon
party. We could all play it of course
but the real games were football and
baseball and ericket. Nobody played
tennis well, or wanted to, Those of
us who were six and a half feet high
could beat the rest of usby hitting
the ball down at us: little short fellers
the height of the net got no show.
Then came golf. In the early nine
ties nobody played golf but a few
fluffy old Bcotchmen in plalds and tar.
tans, pink-faced and wholesome like an
advertisement whisky. We used
a little ball
with a flask in
used to play in
parks and on sheep
We didn't un-
derstand that It was a game. We
thought it was just their way of drink.
whisky. We them for
it. At their age, we couldn't expect
them to stand up at the bar and drink
as we did. They needed air with it
They could hold more.
Then the women butted In and the
of golf began. It |
moved out of the parks and the pas-
tures: lald ont vast links and built |
palaces and let in women,
Now It is all women.
for
to notice
round the
thelr pock
them knocking
landscape,
They
1s,
respect ed
Look at any
landscape and the pleasant greens all
spoiled by a bunch of tubby-looking
Can they play? Of course not. They
Just clutter up the course and spoil the
whole thing: a few of them seem able
to hit the ball, but not really. Any of
game could have gone out and
all over the lot. But they
pieces and began to deck themselves
in silk golf shirts and Imported
and silly “plus-fours”
Look at a couple of these men walk-
and their soft new clothes,
and their beads prematurely bald as |
All men are bald now.
It's the price they pay for being so |
much with women. Back in the early |
nineties we considered that a bald |
man was either a professor or that |
he hadn't lived right. We expected a |
bald man to be a little silly over wom-
en. Now they are all bald and all
silly. ¢
So out they go to the links
at them! What the hi do they !
think they are? Play? Oh, yes, of
course the poor nuts can play. That's |
Just the trouble. Now-a-days they go
Look |
golf so desperately that they play too
well. There is no fun left In It: only
effort and “sex-appeal”
Back in the nineties we looked on |
women as a dangerous drug. You had |
to be mighty careful: keep away from |
them all you could
Of course there were odd times of |
exception—evening parties and dances,
once in each blue moon-—but to go
round with them every night! Good
Lord! The kind of feller who did
that was the kind who got bald.
Naturally, back in the early nine
ties every young man presently “got
crazy” over a girl (we called it that—
we knew the right name for it), and
then he got engaged to her and he
went out with her all the time—float-
ing round in a canoe under a shadowed
river bank, and picking flowers, and
crooning--in short quite crazy.
But we understood it: the man was
Just knocked out for the time being.
Presently he'd either marry the girl or
else she'd throw him over. Anyway
he'd be all right later on—back in the
bar again practically the same as
ever, but anyway quite cured,
The bar, of course, we had to our
selves, There were no women there,
We could stand at the rall and talk for
three hours on three beers and a ham
sandwich (fifteen cents the lot) and |
never have to think of our “sex-ap-
bar again, the women will be right in
it: they rename everything: they'll
eall it a solarium, or a herbarium or a
piscatorian, or something of that sort,
And the men will have to wear litle
barroom shorts and drinking jumpers,
But still what's the good of talk.
ing: you can't alter things: 1 may as
woll stop writing: and anyway 1 have
to go out with some women.
© Stephen Lesoock.~WNU Serviea
about in comfort while he was on the
verge of bankruptcy.
third or fifth night if needed,
How do Calotabs help Nature
throw off a cold? First, Calotabs is
one of the most thorough and de-
sndable of all intestinal eliminants
us cleansing the intestinal tract of
the germ-laden mucus and toxines
|
purpose. of
a purgative and diurefic, both of
which are needed in the treatment
of colds.
Calotabs are quite economical;
only twenty-five cents for the family
package. ten cents for the trial
package. (Adv)
§
“CAKES AND COOKIES
just disappear in my big fam-
ily,” laughs Mrs. Hickey.
“Soit'sabig help when Ican
get a full-pound can of my
reliable, standby baking
powder, Calumet, for only
25¢! As long as I bake, Calu-
met will be in my pantry!”
Grandfather Rommel,
who was a baker for 40 years,
says, “Calumet takes the
guesswork out of the job
nowadays.”
P
I OSE 105
THERE !
Name.
Street
HY was coffee
bad for you, Dad?
we iI thought it was
bad just for us kids!”
“Oh, no! Many
grown-ups, too, find
that the caffein in cof.
Fee upsets their
prove a real help.