“Me? Says I.
“ ‘Sheep B'long
You,” Said the Chink.™
MONTAGUE
Through the pullman window, as
we could see car after slowly mov-
ing car, and at the side door of ev-
ery one a dozen or more woolly
heads thrust forth as far as the gate
which confined them in thelr moving
prison would permit.
mustache and a slouch hat
turning toward me he broke a sllencs
which had existed since he entered
the smoking compartment. and in
quired: “Hope 1 don't
feelin's by taking a chew,” and I re
plied: “Not in the least."
“Never rode herd on them
tyles, hey ye?"
“Never,” 1 assured
“Sheep,” he said, misunder-
stood. I judge that ‘Mary's lamb
story done it. Maybe one sheep can
be made a pet of, but take 'em In
the aggregate they's bad.”
him.
“is
words will enable me to render the
word “bad” as he pronounced It.
“Plumb bad,” he continued, “Some
sense enough to know where they
want to go, and when they head that
way they go, too.
do when they git started?”
1 would like nothing better, and
1 said so.
“"Bout twenty years ago, thutty,
maybe, I was workin’ for a rancher
over In eastern Oregon. He was a
wheat rancher but somebody had
pusswaded him that they was money
into sheep, an’ he bought him a band
an’ turned it out on the range. While
they was there they wasn't nothin
for the critters to do but eat. Fust
they clumb up on the rim rocks to
see if they could spy out some means
to get loose an’ give us trouble get.
tin’ ‘em back, but they couldn't see
no way out, so they stayed around
till a feller from Portland come along
an’ made the old man a offer for em.
It was a good offer an’ he took it up.
They was to be delivered, on the
hoof, at Portland in a week, an’ 1
was app'inted to go along with ‘em
an nuss ‘em an’ keer for ‘em till they
was receipted for.
“They was a little trouble gittin'
‘em into the cyars, but me an’ a
couple of brakemen managed all
right, and a day later we was all
on a siding in Portland, me In the
caboose an’ the sheep in their side.
door pullmans,
“When I got off the train the next
mornin’ an’ inquired around, I found
out that the feller that was to take
‘em off my hands hadn't showed up,
but that they'd have to be got off
the train somehow because the cyars
they come In was needed for other
work, an’ would have to be made
up in a east bound train right off.
“The rallread man sald we could
turn ‘em Into a stock yard up the
line somewhere, an' he'd have the
yardmaster tend to gettin’ the cyars
there. The way the yardmaster
tended to It was to shift us on a
LLL
XL
MING x
UL
TIN
J SODA
8 STAN ANY]
ant
3
| sidin’ an’ forget all about us. When
I seen where we was, an' that the
| stock yard was just about a block
| away I got the fool Idea into my
| head that I could drive
| an’ told a kid that was gawpin' at
{us I'd give him two bits to help me
| drive ‘em.
i “Down into the
street we piled,
i
was just headin' "em in the right
{ dog an’ begins talkin' to ‘em in lan
guage they didn't
| ram that was nearest the dog starts
up a side street, of
! whole gang follered after him.
in' to the next street,
to head ‘em off,
i street car an’ swings into a
{ avenue, an” down that they
gettin’ scareder an’ scareder as kids
an’ cops yelled at ‘em an’
banged their gongs at "em and other
dogs joined forces with the one that
had started ‘em off.
“Pretty somethin® shifted
| them Into another street, an' In
{ thelr hurry to turn the corner they
| bumped into the door of one of them
{ blg Chinese stores like they have
i in Portland—for they was right on
| Morrison street by this time. Of
front door had to be
i open, an’ into the place they loped,
baain’ like Jambs. The chinks In
i the store got all excited, an’ pickin’
iup canes an’ Chinese umbrellas out
{of big jars begun beatin’ ‘em. But
| them sheep was not bein’ seared of
jcanes an’ umbrellas, Six or seven
{ fresh dogs had heard the rumpus
an’ come into the place, an’ a fat
cop was standin’ outside, givin’ or
ders but doin’ nothin’.
“By an’ by along comes the Chi
naman that owned the piace, an’ the
fust thing he done was to yell In
Chinese at the elevator man to run
his cage upstairs. Then he opens
the doors of the shaft, grabs a sheep
an’ throws him down Into it, an’ in-
side of six seconds every critter In
the bunch follers where the fust
sheep *had gone an’ was piled about
eighteen deep In the shaft, with all
the others bleatin’ an’ strugglin’ to
git down there too
“Boy, it was a mess. They was
customers perched up on the coun
ters enjoyin' the show. They was
chinks yellin' in their own talk an’
wavin® anything they could grab. an’
they was that river of sheep pourin’
like a woolly Niagara falls into the
elevator shaft, loud baa’s comin’ from
the new comers an’ muffled ones
from the ones that got down there
fust.
“When all was In the shaft that
could get In an’ the front door was
slammed on as many of the others
as the. store, includin’ the counters
they'd hopped up on could hold, the
main Chink comes over to me an’
says:
“'Now 1 kechum sheepee.
much you pay for bloke china?
“Me? says 1 -
“*Sheep b'long you,’ sald the Chink.
“*You got it all wrong, friend,’ 1
tells him. ‘1 never seen them sheep
before 1 got caught In among ‘em
cotton to,
an’ course
Com
they shied
soon
| course the
How
®
an’ was pulled into this here store.
everywhere 1 went there
kind of a Chinaman, an’ all of ‘em
had a mean look In his eye an’ a
knife or some kind of a club in his
hand. So | stayed.
“An' then pretly soon comes a big
Irish cop an’ invites me to go down
an’ see the chief with him,
thar band
place an’
together, an' out of the
down to the city pound,
but they done it, I know, for when
I'd telegraphed from the police sta
back, he sald that the sheep was took
care of an’ I was fired,
got over his buff, an’ he sald
hundred dollars, an’
nsk to
But when | a!
lowed | n of a
an’ might a bunch of
steers break away on me whend was
takin' ‘em to town, he thought
ter of it,
three
had the nerve to me Come
was careless sort
jet
bet
“Him an’ me Ia
ain't exactly
Pythias.”
friends now. but
like Damon an’
Makes It Simple
to Adjust Light
When you raise your eyes from a
briltantly lighted page, or plece of
sewing, to jook across a room In
semi-darkness, make your eyes
shift gears too suddenly and wear
them out,
you
light in your room, The Parents’ Mag.
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gauges light as a thermometer re
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This meter, which anyone can read,
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and adjust it to the task In hand.
Marvelous as the eye is, it has not
been able to meet the demands placed
upon it. In spite of the fact that
most persons are born with normal
vision, science offers statistical proof
that 20 per cent of school grade chil.
vancement by damaged
eye strain,
man went to bed when the sun went
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the manner of diving.
To relieve
EE
% and a ng,
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esinol
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cents
Compiled
by Professor
That old saw credited to Phineas
T. Barnum, of circus fame, to the
effect that “there's a sucker born
every minute” is more or less up-
held by a huge volume on “Hoaxes,
Forgeries, Swindles, and Impos-
tures” which now rests in the library
of the University of Wisconsin,
Compiled and written by Curtis D,
MacDougall as partial fulfillment of
his work for the degree of doctor of
philogophy from the university, the
Hb6-page book lists and contains in-
formation on some 400 hoaxes, forg-
eries, and swindles which have been
“pulled” on the human race ‘during
the past 2.500 years.
Among the more modern
reviewed in the book is the Drake
estate swindle. This swindle has
been worked by many different indi.
viduals.
hoaxes
to the ill-gained wealth of the notorl.
ous buccaneer, Sir Francis Drake,
of the Sixteenth century. The mag-
nanimous exponent of the news, of
course, has to be reimbursed for his
legal activities, and the tigation
which follows is likely to become as
expensive as the purse of the
timized “heir” permits.
| lists and descriptions
{ and literary
It describes the make-believe impos.
{ters of the ages, historical fakes,
{ political tricks, scientific honxes, art
and various kinds of puffery.
In the Importance of
| hoaxes, MacDougall points out that
| his survey seemed
discussing
| ple feel It Is not disagreeable to be
i fooled not
does dis
| cover what has happened.
| “But a hoax
ficult he explains,
provided one
once started,
to stop,”
result cause flurries of popular ex-
| citement “far the
of the originators
even though exposed, through igno-
rance or Intention, to
When the truth be
gener known,
beyond anticipa
tions Others,
conti
final
the
spread.
Comes
age”
| come Institutionalized and Is impos
gible to change
“Crowds nilled
been
have
| governments have
he continnes
| have salled the seas, audiences have
| filled halls, the stock market
risen and fallen, newspaper
| have been ralded and closed, court
trials have dragged! on for months,
merely because some individual or
| Joke”
| jut the hoaxers
| main virteally
| gull points out
themselves re.
unaffected. MacDou-
A few have
been made to
The vast
regret
majority, however,
Pious Wish!
“May the devil cut the toes of all
| our foes, that we may know them
i by their limping”
A
»
t
because of Indifference toward them
or because of the absence of any
legal means by which they could be
indicted. Many have been honored
and respected even after their ac.
tions have been exposed, while oth-
ers enjoy posthumous reputations,
he maintains,
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Progress of Mankind
Shown in Odd Manner
The faltering line of the forward
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it did end there, however,
i but lingered on until about 1000 A.
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| —Pathfinder Magazine,
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