8B By GEORGE ADE ©, 1932, Bell Sy ndicate -WNU Service NCE upon a Time a Business Man named Kingsbury Gilpin was riding on top of a Bus. It was a bright, snappy Day, with an early Harbinger of Frost in the air and Mr. Gilpin had just booked a large Order, so he was feeling top high and Aces. It happened that there was seated alongside of Mr. Gil- pin a Bird of stern Countenance who didn't look as if he had a Smile left in stock, Mr. Gilpin thought he would try to cheer the lugubrious in- dividual by Chatting with him pleas antly in regard to the Weather, “It's a swell Day, ain't it?” Mr, Gilpin, as he turned and faced the Stranger. “Aha! Just as | claimed the Party “You have Licker on your Breath. You have been defying the Constitution and By-Laws, I am a Special Officer, assigned to the Department of Sniffing. Come with me!” “Nothing has passed by my Lips to- day except Cherry Phosphate,” pro- tested Mr. Gilpin. “What you smell is a Special Preparation which I use on my Hair, It contains a Percent- age of Alcohol.” “I never knew a Violator who didn’t try to pull an Alibi,” said the Enforce- ment Officer. “Furthermore, you have acknowledged your Guilt by owning up to Possession. This is the most important Capture I have made in Weeks," Now it happened that Mr. Gilpin was being taken to the Hoose- gow, his elder Son named Wilfred was only two Blocks away, with a Brief Case under his arm. He was taking a set of Contracts over to a Lawyer to have a few Jokers inserted. He started to Whistle and a Cinder blew into his Mouth. Perhaps it was a Heaven. Chip of the Old Block. He spat it out. There is no Law against Whistling on a Public High way, but any kind of Spitting, Cinder or no Cinder, is just the same as rob- bing the Ice Box in an Orphan Asylum. Wilfred felt a pair of Strong Hands gripping at his Wing-Pipe. “Arrest this Man!” shouted one of those Bystanders who is always ask- ing to have some one arrested, Then a Policeman came ponderous ly and struck Wilfred over the Head with his Club, after which he inquired as to the Facts in the Case. As sev- eral excited Spectators pieced together all the Details of the Outrage, the Mob which bad collected, and then turbulent. “Hang him! Hang him!" the furious Citizens, “No!” exclaimed the fichting back the Crowd belongs to me.” Within a few Minutes after Kings bury Gilpin had been chuckled into a dark. subterranean Cavern reserved for the more hardened Type of Offen- ders, the Steel Door clanged again and {nto the dark and suffocating Gloom came another Prisoner, hurled with great Force by the Rough Attendants. Mr, Gilpin erawled over to wipe the Blood from the unhappy Wretch and recognized—his Son! “To what do you attribute Downfall? asked Wilfred of Father. “fax Discipline and unpardonable Negligence on the Part of my Par- ents,” replied Mr. Gilpin. “Same here,” said Wilfred. Just then they heard the Chains dragging again. A Key turned in the cumbersome Lock. The bobbing Light of a Candle showed the Skeleton Bars in painful distinctness. A stumbling Football and a dark Figure was thrust into the Dungeon. The Newcomer felt his way along the Wall and came Face to Face with Mr. Gilpin. The two Men peered at each other, “Eugene |” “Master I" It was Eugene Wellington, the Hired Man, “You here, Eugene?” “Yes, Master—I1!" When Girls Leave Home. “Speak, man! Be brave. It may relieve you to Confess” “They've had Spotters at work since Spring and at last they nabbed me. 1 forgot to separate the Garbage from the Ashes.” Two Hours passed. The Gilpins were trying to sleep and Eugene was weeping silently. It was the Latter who aroused his Companions, “Look!” he sald, “a Woman!" Sure enough, the Guards were drag: ging down the Stone Stairway a fash. jonably-clad Young Woman whose Hair would have been hanging down her back In Confusion, except that it had been Bobbed. “1 didn't see it!” she shricked. “I was looking the Other Way.” “Tell that to the Judge,” replied the Turnkey, and pushed her into the Cell. She saw the Men back in the Semi Darkness and shrank from them In Terror. wear not” sald Kingsbury Gilpin. wwe are Enemies of Society, but we do not harm defenseless Girls.” “Father!” i" 3t ‘wp. the Only Daughter of Kings- 80 asked suspected I” ex thus addressed. while from Judgment became uneasy shouted Policeman, “His Life your his bury Gilpin, recently returned from a Finishing School on the State Road leading from New York to Boston. her Story. It seemed that a Green Light was showing and the Traflic Cop had his Right Hand up, so she made a Left Hand Turn, whereas she should have waited for a Blue Light and a Left Hand Signal and then gone Straight Ahead. When she had concluded her Father was convulsed with Grief. “I blame myself as much as 1 blame you,” he said, brokenly. “1 heard all of those Stories about Finishing Schools, but 1 wouldn't belleve them.” It must have been along toward 3 p. m. when Mr, Gilpin was aroused from an uneasy Slumber by Leonora, who whispered to him: “Father, are you strong? Are you brave?” “Speak I" “Who do you think is here?” “The Pastor of the Presbyterian Church ¥" “No, Anthony!" A Terrible Night. “My little Boy? ing, innocent Anthony? " over by the Doorway. Militia to bring him In)” awful Disgrace? Shock they discussed among and other Organizations name a Com- mittee to call on the ask for a Pardon. then the Guard brought them Water and Dry Bread. Restaurants it ofts trons are compelled to eat heavy and Bread, fresh from the Bakery, but the Inmates of Penal In- stitutions always get it Dry. Eugene Wellington had rolled up his Coat and put it under Anthony's head and the Boy was moaning pitifully. All of the Others were silently crouched about, ancholy Reflections, was Silence. “He sleeps,” whispered Eugene. “It is well,” said Kingsbury Gilpin, softly, “for it will be a sad Awaken- ing.” “Hush! What was that?" “l heard naught.” indigestible immersed Finally there the Another Soul is doomed to Torture. Enter Madame. All of them listened, the Muffled Curs the dull Reson- ance of Steel against Steel and Words of harsh Command. Then a Scream. It was the hysterl- cal Cry of a Woman In Agony. “Ruffians !* exclaimed Mr. Gilpin ing Death and gloat over her suffer ings.” He sprang the massive Bars with a Madman. Brutes! the Fury Cowards!™ he shouted. Anthony awoke and with Fear, It ‘was a dirty Lay-Out, no matter what Two Guards staggered to the Door wny. They dragged between them a Woman. She had fainted. *In with her!" cried one burly At- tendant, hoarsely. The Door opened and the reeling Woman fell into the Arms of Kings bury Gilpin. Tenderiy he lifted the stray Locks concealing her Face. “My Wife!" he shrieked. It is as the Reader has surmised. The new Prisoner was Mrs Gilpin. “Where am 17" she asked, faintly, as she opened her Eyes “Here, with your Husband, and Wil fred, and Leonora, and Anthony and also Eugene Wellington, the Hired Man™ “It all comes back $0 me now,” she said, In a weak voice. “I would have complied, at the first Request, but the Woman who made the Complaint had been using Henna and Wore Gold in her Teeth and I wouldn't let that Hussy get away with Anything. The next Thing I remember, I was in the Blue Wagon." “What was it all about, Honey? asked Mr. Gilpin, tenderly. “Just as I told you. 1 was at the Movies and failed to remove my Lid." MORAL: Those who have not yet got It may do so at any Moment. all around, you say Long-Standing Dispute Over Discovery of Tea The discovery of tea seems to be hidden in the mists of conflictirg leg ends. China places the discovery back in 2700 B. C.;: Japan credits it to a plous disciple of Buddha; the monks fn Thibet were sald to have discov. ered tea when they noticed the good effect upon their goats from feeding upon a strange glossy leaved plant. Tea, after the people of the Orient had enjoyed its restful qualities for many centuries, gradually found its way to other sections of the world The Dutch brought tea to Europe in 1610 and the English became acquaint. ed with it in 1615. However, Arabia was familiar with the beverage about 850 and the Venetians learned of it in 1560. Tea for a time sold in England for from $30 to $00 a pound. The leaves reached Russia in 1618 and ar- rived In America In 1650, Accounting for Stubble *Why does Stubble sit around all day and never do any work?" “When he was a boy his teacher admonished her pupils: ‘When in doubt, don't'~and Stubble being ak wags in doubt, just don't!” Pays Schemer to “Keep Credit Good” It has been sald that it would well repay a man with a eriminal mind to spend the first thirty years of his life in building up a reputation for absolute Integrity and straight deal ing, in order to make great coups inter on, “The ablest men that ever were,” wrote Bacon, no mean authority on commercial morality, “have had all an openness and frankness of deal- ing, and a name of certainty and veracity; but then they were like horses well managed, for they could tell passing well when to stop or turn: and at such times when they thought the case required dissimula- tion, If they then used it, It came to pass that the former opinion spread abroad, of their good faith and clearness of dealing, made them almost unsuspected.” This 1s a quotation which would not be out of place on Ivar Kreu- ger's tombstone, The secret of his guccess, the secret of the world-wide {| confidence which he enjoyed, was | that he was never caught telling a | le. No one was ever able to prove { that he told an untruth, | His word appeared to be his | bond, with the result that he could | mnke what now seem to be the most | unlikely assurances and be Implicit {ly believed. Bacon sald such men would be “almost unsuspected” Kreuger carried it a stage further, He was completely unsuspected.—T. G. Barman in the Atlantic Monthly. Artificial Heart A Vienna physician, Doctor Elsen. menger, has perfected a machine or “artificial heart” that, pumps the blood when the real heart stops, Dy use of this new apparatus persons apparently dead have been brought back to life. It keeps the blood cir. culating for a while although the heart has stopped. The machine is designed to apply alternate pressure and suction to that part of the chest containing the heart, so that blood is alternately sucked into that organ and forced out again, simulating ap proximately the normal eirculation maintained by the heartbeat, Luck and a smart wife can carry a man to glory. - A ——————— SS —————— Radio Links Nations Direct wireless transmission from ° Belgium to the Unietd States was in- augurated, on the Belgium national holiday, by King Albert, who spoke briefly over the National and Colum- bia broadcasting networks, express. ing his “sincere wish that the prog- ress of science, of which this Is so slgnal an example, may find tS equiv- alent in a progress toward a better understanding between nations” Quite a Surprise “Taxi, sir?” “No, but thanks for the ment,”"—DBoston Transcript, compli- The narrower the edge the deeper it cuts, of homes and buildings that are shabby home owners who, because of reduced included. decay this winter. and summer. this costly mistake. poor bargain.
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