a
HA! HA!
HES ISNT
By Charles Sughroe
White Elephants
By THOMAS ARKLE CLARK
Dean of Men, University of
Illinois.
It is or was a Siamese custom, I am
told, when one native of Siam did a
service of any im-
portance to anoth-
er native of
wenlth, for the
second man to
present the first
with a white ele-
phant. Now a
white elephant Is
a very sacred pos-
session and a very
expensive one, Its
life must be pro-
tected with the
greatest care; It
must be fed and
kept in condition, and an elephant’s
appetite, I am told Is something fierce.
Our neighbor once kept a huge dog—a
Great Dane, I believe—which came
near eating the family out of house
and home until Providence in the form
of a swiftly moving motor car re-
moved it from the Incidents connected
with this world.
A poor man could not afford to keep
a white elephant; he would find ft
difficult to give one away, even If It
were not a serious reflection and pos-
sibly an Insult upon the original giver
to do so. To kill it would subject the
assassin himself to the severest pen-
alty. It is no joke, then, In Siam to
*~¢ presented with a white elephant,
Late Paris Model
One of the latest in Parisian fash-
fons 1s this dress of hard blue mate-
rial. The belt is of tan leather, while
the cuffs are of blue fox fur.
Harold and Sarah are very modest
young people In very moderate clr
cumstances In life, Recently, they
were married and, as is not an infre-
quent custom, they Invited a consid
erable number of people to the cere-
mony, some of whom are not in as
modest circumstances as are Harold
and Sarah. They received, as Is also
customary, a great assortment of
presents,
They will have no use for most of
the stuff for years to come and pos
sibly never unless Harold prospers
tremendously. If they could sell it
back to the merchants from whom It
was bought, even at a considerable
reduction In price, it would help them
out tremendously, but of course that
is not te be thought of, for it would
Indicate a lack of appreciation of the
gifts, So they pack them carefully
and store them away in the bank or
the basement, and look forward to
the day when possibly they will be
rich enough and have an establish.
ment large enough to afford to keep
a few white elephants in comfort with-
out impoverishing themselves,
(2 1931, w estern Newspaper Union.)
Water Diviner Claims
Streams Aid Health
Bolzano, Italy. — Signor Glovammi
Gotsch, diviner for water-seeking citl-
zens of this region, that un-
derground streams possess radiations
which are be for many mal-
adles.
Gotsch, who has been long noted for
his ability to find underground streams
by the use of a diving rod. has made
experiments In these underground ra-
diations. He clalm a sick per.
son placed over ry path of one of
these hidden streams reports an im
provement In health
claims
neficial
that
Owns Aged Baseball
Lincoln, Neb —What
the oldest baseball In
owned by 8. A.
about the same size
ball now, but wi
used In a game be
Columbus in 1883.
he claims is
sinte is
‘he ball,
regulation
larger seams, was
tween Wahoo and
the
Gre
Ory
fis the
Spends 23 Years Alone on
Isle Playing Solitaire.
Crisfield, Md.—After playing hermit
for 23 years and using up 500 decks
of cards playing solitaire, a former
Jersey City lawyer Is married to a
Jersey City woman.
Charles Hardenberg, better known
as the hermit of Watts Island, Is the
bridegroom, Miss Katherine Selpel,
Jersey City, is the bride. They were
married at the Methodist parsonage at
Accomac, Va, by the Rev, N. J. Hunt.
For 23 years Hardenberg has lived
Sues the Ex-Kaiser
idrea,
Born-
Herr Voss, father of seven chi
a workman on the crownland
stedt, near Potsdam, who is suing ex-
Kaiser Wilhelm for wages him
He was taken off the pay rolls without
being notified because he falled to re.
port for work due ness,
due
to i
alone on little Watts Island, about ten
miles from here. In 1008 he left his
law practice In Jersey City and land-
ed on Watts island. He was then
thirty-three, and he has been alone
ever since until he took his bride home
with him,
The house to which the hermit of
Watts island has taken his bride is
made of brick and was built In 1874
by the government for a lightkeeper.
Later an automatic light was In-
stalled and the house was sold to Har-
derberg’'s brother,
Watts Island was discovered in 1620
and at one time was a flourishing
farm with fruit trees and a large acre-
age of tillable land.
Hardenberg hasn't a radio, he keeps
no dogs. Three chickens are the only
creatures there beside himself and his
bride,
His provisions have been brought
from Crisfield and when he got tired
of canned goods he caught a few fish
or took up a few oysters from the
rocks in front of his door.
Hardenberg has lived for 23 years
a life of solitude, fon
the surf beating shore
of his Island. Once he went
York for the funeral of
an hal visi
been his oni th eivl
Once a ! } Wilard
son, put In atts island
yacht, $
a play,
tharey Watts,
be Ha re.
Alt) bh he ha of the largest
libra rea in Jersey City, H:
has few hooks on W
Claims World Title
for His Traffic Fines
Kansas City, Mo, To I. M. Rosier of
Mo, goes the doubtful honor
of having paid the highest aggregate
of traffic violation fines, He setil
for $1530. having 30 separate tickets
against his aut
his only compan
on the lonely
to New
tive, and
has
on
Rohin-
on his
part In
called
a rein
OCCasic
zat
.
which was supposed to
ah
d one
irdenberg
its Ink and.
bolt Wi,
ed
amobile
Boy, Guest at White House,
Returns to School.
Towner, Colo.~Bryan Untiedt, the
boy who visited the President, is back
in school with the other survivors of
the storm tragedy from which he
emerged last winter a national hero,
After he came back from Washing:
ton Bryan did not return to school
“He has seen so much and been
praised so much It is time he settled
derided feeds
Sailors Catch Eagle
Exhausted at Sea
Boston.—The dragger Venture
II returned from the fishing
grounds with an unusual eatch
--@n American eagle with a five.
foot wingspread. Capt. Fred
Surette reported that the big
bird, exhausted, had alighted on
the Venture's deck while the
dragger was 130 miles southeast
of Boston Lightship. Engineer
W. H. Mayo kept the eagle con.
fined to a box until the boat
docked. The bird was presented
to Franklin park zoo,
~4
Ee ga dot IOC
bridge across the Ohio river,
down for a while and it It all
over,” his wother sald,
This fall, however, the fourteen-
year-old sandy-haired, freckled youth
again is attending regularly the little
school from which he and 19 others
set out last March Into a raging bliz-
zard which took the lives of several
of the children despite Bryan's herole
efforts to save them,
Other survivors of the tragedy are
back In school, Some of them have
geen Bryan only a few times since
March,
Jut they haven't forgotten. To them
he still is “the boy who's been to see
the President” At every recess and
dismissal the other children gather
around him,
“How was Washington?" they ask.
“How was the President? How was
sleeping on trains? Where's the gun
the President gave you-—is It any
good? What kind of people live In
the East?”
Like all the other ranch children,
Bryan Is modest and quiet. But he
answers the little friends to whom
he gave his clothes as they huddied to-
gether freezing in the school bus
All Around
Ze House
When the kitchen sink becomes
sluggish give It a thorough scalding
with several gallons of boiling water.
To remove the odor of strong vege
tables and meats wash In pure cider
vinegar,
though
soni
Use a fork to soften cheese when
mixing it with other ingredients for
sandwich fillings.
Household ammonia diluted with
water, half and half, will remove car
grease from clothing.
To remove grass stains from cotton
or silk first apply lard, then wash In
warm, soapy water,
Canned tomatoes mixed with bread
erumbs and cheese make a good esecal-
loped dish suitable for lunch,
A baby Is always
the most enthusins
tie in saying “good.
by" to you; hardly
ever has it a word
of welcoma.
that had been stalled in the blizzard
“Washington was fine.” he tells
over T'resident
2 great fel Sleeping on trains is
all right after you get used to I. The
gun is at home and About
the only difference between the people
here and in the East Is there's more
of them down there.”
them
and over Hoover is
3
low,
it's swell
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POTPOURRI
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Philosophy
Philosophy is called the moth
er of the sciences, the term
meaning Hierally “love of wis
dom." The early Greeks con-
sidered philosophy as genernl
culture embracing all knowledge
With the broadening of scien
tific research, however, It was
necessary to classify the
, branches, such as physics. meta
physics, psychology, ete
Thales, a Greek, was the ear
liest philosopher of record, liv.
ing about G00 B. C
(8). 1921, Western Newspaper Union )
PIPPI P POPPI PI PLP PPP
logle,
Pr IFPI ITITITPTIIIIITIYTITIT YY Ye
Addl ddl db tdi d titi it la ab
i
Jake fullback of the
Wisconsin university eleven,
his kicking leg a little exercise.
Sclhineliner,
Tourists Visit Point
Where Picard Landed
Bolzano, Italy. ~—Thousands of tour
ists from every part
flocking to the glaci«
R
Picard landed |
Runs Ancient Hay Cart
Alfred, Maine.—A hay cart be
rmbers of Alfred's old Shai
mse] by J
iit by
ony
OW posse r Parsons,
ped with two wheels,
s of hay.
rood,
ugh eqe
* Cart Can carry two ton
“A girl who works for a dry cleaner
can't be particular—she's got to ac
cept any man's suit”
ODD THINGS AND
NEW —By Lame Bode
IN THE REGION THAT
PRODUCES THE WORLD'S
GREATEST SUPPLY OF
FERTILIZER, NO VEGETATION
WiLL GROW /
Salinitas, Chile
A.K.*ROSEY”
ROWSWELL~
of Pittsburgh, Pa. _(&
TALKS DISTINCTLY
AT THE RATE OF
re Fo
[ith Fo
id
MORDSIXS mut
Mercolized Wax
Keeps Skin Young
Cot ue wa directed, Vine partides of
skin sida uel’ off apd lise ails defects such se pimples
ten and freckim Stonyosss Hin | ie then volt
Parity Your {aoe looks
remove em P Fs wokite
ons unos Powdered Pu
ad tor iis ute wna pan. Tu At drag stores,
The “First Shall Be Last
“l hear your son is getting on”
“Rather. Two years ago he wore
my old suits—now | wear his.” —Ber.
lingske Tidende (Copenhagen).
FRETFUL,
RESTLESS?
Look to this cause
When your baby fusses, tosses and
sees unable to sleep restfully, look
for one common cause, doctors say.
Constipation. To get rid quickly of
the accumulated wastes which cause
restlessness and discomfort, give a
cleansing dose of Castoria. Castoria,
you know, is made specially for
children’s delicate needs. It is a pure
preparition; confcins
harsh drugs, no narcotics. It
mild and gentle
young infant
as effective
toria’s regulative }
lnxed La
your baby.
Genuln
name
vegetable 7no
is Bo
you can give it to a
3 Keep a
e Castoria
CASTORIA
CHILDREN CRY FOR
Important Change
Bessie Blowitt
she's a =» roer no long
“No, she's a wage-burner
“Ra
3
$ married;
ff
nge-ea
Clears
out cold
in head
or chest
« remedy of
tested and
tried in-
gredients,
safe, de-
pendable.
30¢ ot oll druggists
For aching teeth vee Pike's Toottmehe Drone
But few men ugh to
render one wo
OILS:
STOPS
No matter how larpe or sensitive,
CARBOIL HemaTiately stops
throbbing pain, fipens and hoesls
worst boil often overnight. Get
are Ww
rd sufficient.
Be Sd
_
You Can't Tell
“Good-night, mother.”
“Daughter, are you comir
going out Y"—Exchange,
before ast, and several
times a day.
Get plenty of outdoor exercise
yithaut unduly fatiguing youre
Try for a bowel movement at
exactly the same hour every day.
E 's bowels need help at
times, but the thing to use is Dr.
wes 3 Syrup Pepsin. You'll get
ning-out, and it won't
I weak a
Da. W. B. Catower's
SYRUP PEPSIN
W. N. U, BALTIMORE, NO. 43-1931.
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