COLLAR AD
HERO REALLY
®
ENNA MAY liked Arthur Green,
but laughed at him.
“It's no good, Arth” she said,
“you can't help it, but you just
aren't snappy. Nobedy is, here. That's
why I'm going to get Dad to let me go
to business school. I'll meet some of
those wonderful fellows.” Her eyes
wandered over the opened magazine
in front of her to an Adonis in a “Mar-
vellose” collar (“has the appearance
and even the feel of linen, but a damp
sponge cleans it").
“Gosh! you wouldn't want me to
took like that guy?” sweetly sarcastic,
The poor boy went home sadly un-
happy. Football, and being a track
man seemed to count for nothing with
l.enna. She had the clothes muania—
“got it bad,” he groaned.
Lenna, meanwhile, was chewing the
end of her fountain pen, a graduation
gift. In front lay the magazine with
the glorified collar-wearer. Lenna had
an idea, and with Lenna thoughts were
instantly transmuted into action.
She giggled happily as she folded
her letter and addressed it to the
collar factory. She'd find out if such
creatures really lived or if, as her dad
had told her, they were the imagina-
tions of the artists who drew them.
“Looks like poor old Arth a bit, too,”
she admitted to herself, “only Arth al-
ways runs around in old sweaters, and
his shoes! Gosh!”
“You're mighty interested in the mail
nowadays,” sald Dad, handing out the
letters. “One for you, eh? Nothing
but an ad, though.”
Lenna blushed and said, “Gosh!”
which might mean anything, and she
only had one plece of lemon ple, so
anxious was she to see what was in
the “ad” letter.
“That child can’t be well,” said Mom.
“She never eats only piece of
lemon ple.”
“Boy crazy, that’s what,” said Pa,
“Give me calves rather than girls, any
time.”
“1 shall certainly give her a liver
pill,” continued Mom, looking for the
box which lurked at the back of the
sideboard.
Lenna tore open the envelope and
read that her hero really lived, but
was not a New Yorker, lived upstate
and hadn't ever given his real name
to the artist who posed him. Was
thought to be working his way through
school and did this to earn money and
the firm was hers for bigger and better
business, etc.
Lenna grabbed the magazine again.
It was like Arth; but, of course, it
couldn't be Arth, for he would tell her.
And, anyway-—oh, well, she'd write an
other letter to the pseudonym of the
young man and try him out. Lenna
loved his chin and the way his hair
grew . . he was keen, there was
no doubt smooth .s » Ohl
she had to find out who he was and
if he lived near, why, what mightn't
happen? She sat motionless on the
edge of her bed in the moonlight and
could almost hear the wedding march
—or was it “O Perfect Love?’ Lenna
hadn't much ear for music. That was
Mom on the creaky stair,
“Aren't you feeling well,
How is it you're not in bed?”
I.enna frowned. “I'm fine,
Can't I think once in a while?”
“Here, take one of these pills,” said
Mom, turning on the light. “I thought
sou looked yellow this morning, It's
eating all that ice cream at the social
Thursday.”
“I'm not billions, Ma,” cried Lenna.
but she swallowed the pill, since this
was the way of least resistance, and
her mother left her.
In due course a reply came in type
writing that said the writer was very
busy and could not see anyone; what
he earned took care of his school fees,
and he had no time to make dates with
anyone,
She cried about it and looked so
woebegone that she barely escaped a
second pill, for her mother placed the
seat of the emotions in the liver,
Then Arth came to tell her he was
going to the State university,
“But I thought you weren't going
until next year,” she sald.
“I'm eighteen. The sooner 1 grad
uate the sooner I make a man’s salary,
I have a chance to get In with the
Waterworks company when I take my
B. Se. Then, maybe, you'll let me talk
differently to you.”
“But how did you get your money,
Arth?' Lenna wasn't subtle,
“One way and another,” evasively.
“Lenna, I know you despise me be
cause I run around in old clothes, but
that was the only way. I have to save
every cent, I must get through, that's
all. Then I'll walk In on you dressed
more like a city guy, and we'll see.”
Lenna longed to ask him about that
boy in the collar ad. Arth might know
who he was. Arth was so like him,
but of course Arth never wore a collar,
In a year from that day in walked
Arth—a changed Arth as to clothes,
but with the same expression that
asked for Lenna,
Lenna had been away at business
school. She had a little too much
powder on her nose and her mouth
was a trifle smudgy with lipstick. Oth-
erwise she twas the same overwhelm
ingly healthy girl,
She giggled.
Arth accepted this as a happy omen.
He took her In his arms. Lenna
didn't resist, but she whispered, “Was
one
Lenna?
Mom
it you, Arth? You
me." ,
Arth laughed a little shamefacedly.
“I'' tell you something, Lenna,
When I do wear collars, I wear linen
ones, not fakes made of rubber,
They're for tramps, see? You didn't
realize that because you were just a
kid; you're a kid new, honey, see?
jut I have collars in my suitcase and
I believe the old red sweater is doing
duty now as a scarecrow. What d'you
think about that?"
Lenna cuddled closer. “Good idea,”
she giggled.
might have told
#4
Joaquin Miller's Joke
on Famous London Club
Julian Hawthorne thus describes the
“Poet of the Sierras” as he knew
him in London in the early '70s:
Joaquin Miller and I were, I think,
the only Americans in the Savage
club at this date. Joaquin, a licensel
libertine, charming, amiable, and
harmless, amusing the club and him-
self by costuming his part as Poet of
the Sierras, sombrero, red shirt open
at the neck, flowing scarf and sash,
trousers tucked into spurred boots,
long hair down over his shoulders,
and a great blond beard. “It helps
sell the poems, boys!"
“and it tickles the duchesses.” He
would tell us tall tales of “My Call-
fornia”; of buffalo running wild down
Beacon street, Boston; of wild ad-
ventures with Walker of Niearagua,
with his big hat tipped on the back
hand.
the Indian sign, and
his dramatizations and
Isms, though to uncredited
it was apt to be a little frigid.
warm day in the June season, A per-
slumming adventure, apparently, from
his proper haunts. He
slender, ebony cane, seated
monogrammed
his aristocratic
with a
crossed legs,
toned the black Prince Albert,
took out a silver cigarette case from
the pocket of his white walstcoat,
After patting the white camelia in his
buttonhole, and without removing his
silk hat, he held up a fore-
finger to the waiter. “A whisky and
soda !”
to the normal member of the Savage
club,
The waiter was disconcerted,
gloved
but
tary and manager, he knew his duty,
and would do It; but he was courteous
to the core. He wore his disarming
“Pardon me, but it is a rule
of the club that refreshments can be
served only to the regularly intro-
smile,
monocle in his eye, Willie
up and down, stroked his smooth chin,
his pointed mustache, and
suddenly burst Into a shout
ter. “What's eating you,
Don't you like my new rig?
surveyed
twisted
Willle?
Yes, it was really
ond street tallor and the
hairdresser, can do wonders, It was
years before Joaquin's hair and beard
grew to their right length again, but
the of his stratagem
pensated him -—From “Joaquin
and His Other Seif,”
Truefitt,
SUCCESS
Fixed Income
Indeed, it is
change in temper a fixed income will
bring about. No force in the
can take from me my £500, Food, house
and clothing are mine forever. There-
fore, not merely do effort and
cease, but also hatred and bitterness,
I need not hate any man, he cannot
hurt me. I need not flatter any man,
he has nothing to give me. . . .
Indeed, my aunt's legacy unveiled the
sky to me, and substituted for the
man, which Milton recommended for
my perpetual adoration, a view of the
open sky.—From “A Room of One's
Own,” by Virginia Woolf.
“Rap” Has Two Meanings
When you say a thing is not worth
a “rap,” you are not referring to a rap
with your knuckles,
originated “rap” meant a small copper
coin used In Ireland whose
value Is half a farthing.
1714-21. Because it often passed
for a halfpenny it was called a rap,
a word coming from the German term
“rappie,” which means a counterfeit
copper coin brought to the British Isles
by Irish soldiers who had seen service
on the continent.—Capper's Weekly.
Alternative
At the automobile show a man and
woman were discussing a popular
small four-seater, the woman appear.
ing to lay down the law and the man
nodding, without any enthusiasm.
Suddenly he drew a tape measure
from his pocket, He measured the
door of the car and then turned to
the woman,
“All right, Mary,” he sald. “Have it
your own way! Bul that bus has
either got to have larger doors or I've
got to have a smaller mother-inlaw.”
No Gold-Beating Machine
Gold beating Is an art that eannot
be done other than by hand. Gold, 238
carats fine, is rolled into thin ribbons,
cut into squares, then many layers of
it are placed between parchment and
beaten for hours, The squares are
quartered, placed between goldbenter's
skins, beaten four hours and then again
for six hours-~Providence Journal,
§ TEPHEN'S father was a very rich
man, Oh, he was an enormously
rich man,
Stephen lived the life of a very
rich little boy. His father had sev-
eral automobiles, and when Stephen
wanted to go anywhere it was sim-
ply a question of which automobile
would be used and whether the chauf-
feur named Tucker would take him,
or whether the chauffeur named Simp-
son would drive the car.
He went to the seashore for two
months of the year, and to the coun-
try for another two months, and South
for two of the winter months, and to
A northern city for two
months.
another
The rest of the year he was taken
traveling or to the family home in a
place which was just like a
village during the week, but which
pecame a rich little city for the week-
end.
Stephen had often thought it would
be nice to be in this place during the
Wafreny -h .
He Had Climbed the Fence.
good
week. He had been told of the
time the children had.
He had been told, the school
and of the fun they had in the differ
ent school teams,
jut the family never had stayed
anywhere long enough for him to get
to know the boys and girls In the
place,
Of course they had houses in these
different places, but not one of them
seemed Just exactly like
There wasn't much fun in
anything because there was always so
much money that everything seemed
too easy to
too, of
home,
buying
get.
There wasn't much fun when he got
anything as he has never had to earn
little sums of money or save toward
hnything.
And he
him. He
always had a governess with
couldn't go to school except
In an automobile, and he had to
have the governess there, too,
She him to school and came
for him, and yet he was not a little
boy.
Boys far younger than he went to
school by themselves.
More than that—they looked
sisters and brothers younger
they were.
It was just before they went South,
when Stephen was spending a little
time In the city home, that he had a
plan.
It was a beautiful plan, he
worked it all out very, very carefully.
Once during he had talked
to a boy across fence from
school yard.
They were bullding in that lot, next
to the school yard, and a number of
children had come there to play while
the workmen were having their lunch.
Stephen had heard from the boy of
the that did,
in turn had told some
way he lived.
It was after this talk tl
had made his plans,
One day, just as school was
he
and it
peared that
Rone,
He had b
the fence and
into the vacant lot
he had rushed
and around the corner.
taken a trolley.
As he got on the trolley he p
dollar bill from his pocket.
“How much is It?" he
“Five the conductor an
swered, and gave Stephen a great deal
took
after
than
and
recess
the the
and Stephen
things of the
things he
mit Stephen
the sch
he hi 1
noticed
rushed into
not until
fuayone
out,
was
He
lowered
urried !
had
below,
the street
had
Then up
There he
illed a
asked.
cents,
of chunge
Then Stephen sat down in the trol
ley. There
pers, too,
ber of ch
ones with thelr m
with older
The
4
wanted to get of
were many
T°! “"w syed
here were quite
other passen
#2 Dun
ildren, older ones alone ¢
younger others 1
brothers and sisters
cur stopped every time anyone
or on at the corners.
and every seemed to
One
in
the matter,
It was thrilling. He sa
posite other people—wonderft
he had never seen before!
He got off at the street nearest his
He met his mother, who was
upset.
had
know he
uffeur
found him gi
school?
home.
greatly
What
didn't he
when the cha
had
reached his
Yes, he probably had been quite bac
And
And
had worried them,
he been doing?
and the
ne
when they
he was never allowed money
after this—everything was pald out
for him he would not
chance to ride in trolley cars, but
had had that ride and he
(Copyright)
80 have
hie
was happy.
“Dear Editor:
CTHE WHY of
SUPERSTITIONS
By H. IRVING KING
ERE I am in Arkansas,
“gin” implies work and not some
thing to drink.
The waitress
the
tonight put chopped
milk. If it's that near to
On the ferry crossing the Ohio and
live
“Want a good man to stroke
I'l let
These southerners make you think
but they're not. We
“You
can make it in an hour and forty-five
minutes,” he said, “it's only seventy-
two miles, Joy, page Colonel Lind-
bergh "Fred Barton.
(Copyright)
“A portable typewriter is one that
Is easily carried away by a traveling
salesman, and may be set down any.
where,”
WHISTLING FOR A WIND
Ts is a widespread superstition
among sailors which Is translated
into practice somewhere on the Seven
Seas every day of the year. The sail
or on the deck of the coasting schoon
er becalmed off Cape Cod whistles for
a wind in the same manner as did the
mariner on the Greek galley beealmed
off marbled Ithaca in the days when
“Homer swept the lyre”
The heathen of classical times—at
least in the lower orders—was always
trying to deceive his gods. To “put
one over” on High Olympus was con.
sidered a proper and rather clever
thing to do. Now Aeolus was god of
the winds which he loosed from the
cavern where he had them confined to
swell the lagging sail with favoring
breezes or to lash the waves with the
fury of a gale. But perchance Aeolus
slept and the winds slept with him;
or he gloried and drank deep on Olym-
pian heights unheeding of the loitering
ships and imprisdned winds. Then the
Greek sailor whistled for a wind.
Now when the sailor whistles for a
wind he does not really “whistle” but
expels his breath from between his
lightly closed lips with a peculiar
sibilant sound mingled with a slight
whistling noise—very much such a
sound as the radiator makes some.
times when the steam Is just begin.
ning to get up. It Is supposed to Im.
itate the first sounds of a breeze be-
ginning to stir In the rigging.
Acolus heaves. What! Has some
one unsurped his functions? Or has a
breeze gone out without his permis.
sion? He gets on his job at once, and
though he may see that he has been
tricked, releases the desired breese—
unless he should be In bad humor,
when he releases a storm wind and
makes the whistling sallor roe his
whistling. So through the long ages
the custom of whistling for a wind
has come down from the sailors of
Jason's fleet to the fishermen of the
Grand Banks.
(E by McClure Newspaper Syndicate.)
animism Yenmmmmmsims
Bait for the Foolish
A woman writer says that mischief
causes dimples, The majority of men
think that dimples cause mischief.
Chicago News.
Her name is really Banky Vilma.
She is a native of Nagydorog, a little
town near Budapest, Hungary. Her
mother was a stage star in Hungary.
Vilma became ambitious for screen
honors, later
prominent producer, and
playing lead parts. She
heard from the screen in
Heaven” talking picture.
soon
was
mo — ot————
For Meditation
By LEONARD A. BARRETT
COGOOOOO0BO00
LINCOLN’S PROMISE
i that he would sign
the
his diary of
found, written
'
Ine 11 5
ing 168
words:
I will
We
nervous
What
domitable «
a resolotion!
r with
ergy.
can
tion! “I have prom
8 It." No
couragement
dis
conquer a spirit
like that, Those
words
determination
which was capable
of levs
riers,
clear passage way
in the forests
tangled
A co
bora
the
Great
of
tor;
hi naginaiion
fact.
The & task of realizing c
demands the Lincoln
of self to a pur
was not unconscious of the
he would have to
When these
but
already realized
Hpreme
ideals
consecration
pose, He
difficulties
great
meet
difficulties arose
them with somethin
of
8 more than
humor. He did that
also, exercised a spirit of self con
which was
mere
but
trol nothing less
taarvelous Lincoln never lost pa
tience, Hig mind though brilliant
moved slowly. Fortunately it did, fo:
Sonise
than
disastrous In those
our national his
have proven
critical periods
tory
do It. A deep conviction, expresse
in a noble resolution, and finally real
ized by patient waiting and self con
trol,
It is one thing to have an ideal: It
very
of
Convictions and resolu
tions without patience and self con
trol do not carry us very far.
incident was recently related
prominent business man In New York
who every day took a stroll through
Central park, usually in the morn
ings on his way to his office. During
these walks this man would say t«
himeelf: Let what will come during
the day, 1 must not lose my self con
trol. I must be a gentleman under all
circumstances. [I must not allow un
fortunate moods to waste my energy
but must work it all up into effective
ness. This self-tuning he called o
tremendous tonic and since he adopt
ed this self-tuning, the article stated
he has gone ahead by leaps and
bounds.
(©, 1930, Western Newspaper Union)
realization.
(© by MeChire Novator Syndicate
La
.
=e Xr wr
CONSTIPATION
live inn smaller doses
SAFE SCIENTIFIC
BEST MEDICINE
SHE KKOWS OF
Says “Take Lydia E. Pink-
ham’s Vegetable Compound”
FOR
assem
Ft. Meyers, Fla.—“Lydia E. Pink-
ham's Vegetable Compound is the best
medicine I ever
heard of. Before
my baby wasborn
Iwas always weak
and rundown. I
had nervous spells
until I eouldn’t do
my housework. A
lady told me about
the Vegetable
“Ad Compound and it
strengthened me,
deside my own
5 housework I am
now working in a restaurant and I feel
better than I have in three years. I hope
my letter will be the means of leading
some other woman to better health,” —
Mans. Berrea Rivess, 2014 Polk St.
Didn't Foresee Growth
No modern city has been designed
uted unoccupied site
vigion of ngton L'En-
for the National Capital was of
for 800,000 people, popnis
that t f London,
| “Ob “Promise Me”
At some time
in her life
Cupid pleads
to every at-
tractive wom-
No mat-
what her
features are, a
woman who is
sickly cannot
be attractive.
Sallow skin,
pimples, sunk-
en eyes, life-
Yess lips — these are repellent. DR.
PIERCE'S GOLDEN MEDICAL
DISCOVERY is just the tonic a run-
down person needs. It enrithes the
blood, soothes the nerves and imparts
. | vivacity to the entire system,
In li or tablets, at drug store.
Send for trial package of tab
lets to Dr. Pierce's Clinic, mn Buffalo,
N. Y, and write for dree advice.
ONSTIPATED ?
Take NR NATURE'S REMEDY
tonight. Your eliminative
organs will be functioning prop-
erly by morning and your con-
stipation will end with a bowel
sction as free and eary as na-
ture at her best— positively no
pein, no griping. Try it
Mild, safe, purely vegetable~
at druggistr—only 25¢
FELL ILIKE A NILIION, TAKER
$8) Ike hl, hi
TOMORROW ALRIGHT
"Between Lawyers
“Why do iet witnesses ramble
EX 6 on an
The
fant
the
tion at me «
an
ter
tone &
1h
ix
you
807
“Most
idiotic if
enough.” -
If Kidneys Act
Bad Take Salts
Says Backache Often Means You
Have Not Been Drinking
Enough Water
will
iet
Louisville
people say something
them talk long
Courier-Journal.
you
When you wake up with backache
and dull misery in the kidney region
it may mean you have been eat-
ing foods which create acids, says a
well-known authority. An excess of
such acids overworks the kidneys in
their effort to filter it from the blood
and they become sort of paralyzed and
loggy. When your kidneys get slug-
glsh and clog you must relieve them,
like you relieve your bowels, remov-
ing all the body's urinous waste, else
you have backache, sick headache,
dizzy spells; your stomach sours,
tongue is coated and when the weath-
er is bad you have rheumatic twinges.
The urine is cloudy, full of sediment,
channels often get sore, water scalde
and you are obliged to seek relief two
or three times during the night,
Either consult a good, reliable phy-
siclan at once or get from your phar
macist about four ounces of Jad
Salts; take a tablespoonful in a glass
of water before breakfast for a few
days and your kidneys may then act
fine, This famous salts is made from
the acid of grapes and lemon juice,
combined with lithia, and has been
used for years to help clean and stim-
ulate sluggish kidneys, also to neu.
tralize acids in the system, so they no
longer irritate, thus often relieving
bladder weakness,
Jad Salts is Inexpensive, cannot in
jure and makes a delightful, elferves.
cent lithin-water drink. Drink lots of
good water,
pe
-.