The Centre reporter. (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, May 04, 1922, Image 7

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    a
solutely
a
5d
ine or Wall Paper
AN
cards?” asked the
“Yes,” Mr.
suid
of expert
little short
Age-Herald.
moralist,
Grumpson
manipu
1rd
RA
ne
cue to get
busy.
A Scratched Record.
i ten,
five, were visiting thelr grandmother
Har
very so
record's
mamma joined in on the refrain.
riet Jane looked up and said,
berly. “Aw, mamma, your
scratched,”
Be
too Ia
careful toany
to
Mrs. L. A. J.
Leaves No Bitter Taste
w———————"
son
must
Life.
questionnaire
certainly
Poor
Heek—"Do you
ment Peck
at home.” — Boston
oe
i
Was
walls
Henry.
play any
Transeript
Edi-
AA
watt, —
instru
fiddle
os
ignorant,
Husband—Did you ever notice, my
dear, that a loud talker is generally
an ignorant person?
Wife-Well, you
I'i'n not deaf,
needn't shout so.
It is hard to teil the difference be-
tween the fruits of victory and defeat
hy the taste
EE
lg
JUS
HARD WORK AND LONG HOURS
“Did see the bunch
parading for miles from six o'clock in
the morning till five in the evenin’ an’
You
asked Mr.
said Mr. Dolan.
speeches?”
“1 44
they
“They're the lads they're
morally opposed to working more thap
six hours a day.”
Rafferty.
who say
Dubious Praise. :
“The right kind of man appreciates
a compliment from his wife.”
“Well,” sald Mr. Bibbles,
fully, “that depends on the
flances, I don't feel
glow of satisfaction stealing
after I have
cocted story to explain
from the domestic hearth
wife tells me with a eynlea
I'm ‘truly gifted. "—Birmin;
thought-
circums-
fn rosy
me
con-
ahsence
Somehow
over
related a carefully
my
and friend
that
mile
Some Lawyers Do.
“You didn’t
“No
what
take that divorce case?”
When 1 as
grounds che
ked my fair visitor
had for seeking a
divorce from her husband
she sald
met another ma
‘perfect dear.”
“Umph I"
fintter my
|
Was =»
self that I'm a
but 1
could go into court
that."
pre{ty
how 1
a case
awyer, didn't see
and argue
1
{ke
Limitations,
orator
Oratorical
“What kind of
is Senator
“He's
“Yor?
“If he
about the avernge speaker.”
hasn't anythir irticular
£ In pn
about he may discourse for an
if he hns a mes.
get It out of his
half, but
hour
deliver he ean
sn in thirty minu
ALL HE COUl
Wifey—Fred
Hubby
Great
I'm darne . 1
i'm darned glad you don't
Nature Verse,
They're censoring the mov
Fieve eh
fen
Are
trees
¥'il have a
i the wicked
Wants a Good Wife.
“Here's an advertisement for a
“She must be young, rich and bean
suppose 7°
but the requirements
hard to meet. The
that must
immune the
“No, al
idvertiser
‘unde
movies, and
are
nsx
she be
from
A Valuable Guest.
ard-—What are
How good at a
you
Coward-—] can talk to the people
who can't sing, and want to sing, and
prevent ‘em from doing ite~Judge.
The Matrimonial Hazard,
“You sell store
“Yes, the dealer.
“1 want a mahogany
the way,
fixtures?”
sald
candy case, By
does no
“We can’t advise you on that point,
if you want a girl to be a fix.
you'd better pick out a homely
sir, but
ture
one.”
In a Family Hotel,
Rollo—Why call
men star boarder
rter?
Father—From two
terms, starboard and port, meaning
right and left. In the matter of diet
the star boarder Is In right with the
landlady while the porter takes what
is left.
do they one
anag
ot
the
His
An Unfair Advantage.
you delivered yesterday, senator.”
“Garbled, sir.
reports.”
down In shorthand.”
“The dickeng he did!
protection for man in public life¥”
Farm Products,
“What's the best way to
farm profitable?”
“1 have nbout decided,” answered
Farmer Corntossel, “that the best way
is to lay it out In city lots or golf
links"
make a
Hah! Hah!
“Why do you specialize on giving
your patients laughing gas?”
“Well, you see, our fees are consid
ered large, so when we present our
bill he'll be In a good humor and pay
us promptly.”
Taste is a matter of
tobacco quality
We state it as our honest
belief that the tobaccos used
in Chesterfield are of finer
quality (and hence of better
taste) than in any other
cigarette at the price,
Liggens &@ Myers Tobacco Ce,
|
{
i
|
nds
Vd
hesterfiel
CIGARETTES
of Turkish and Domestic tobaccos—blended
20 for 18e¢ .
10 for 9c Cupolt
Vacuum tins ¢ Tf
of 50 - 45¢
HAD FORGOTTEN HIS “LINES”
And Bridegroom’s Explanation Only
Added to the Ludicrousness of
the Situation,
STIRRED UF THE COMMUNITY
Gap Johnson's Good Reasons for
Thinking Confessions Can Be
a Little Too Public.
£ mk %
for Robbers.
been carrying
“They've
ver
in a Pennsylvania
no longer a& young tuther
clergyman a
his stupl
second
possessed
truriety.
When
he gave
sald:
mediately
me.’
was
His Wit Rewarded.
nest rast t into
§
ven
tine} # y 1
Junker to 1
Wierntedy
or, “1 have
ny ‘As |
found out
for
my
thou shal
Boston Transcrip
till pow ;
nothing." ~
$
hat
Odd Coincidence,
After the war, hu
Nature
her
vbably a bitter berry. Hur
8 be fooled fo tone in . Rn ed
while be fooled for long in adelphia
Ledger
.
protecting
* i g the reproduction of life ——
yenirs in a «
Coansr :
200
raine, wwidently -
ith a pic.
Lincoln
As a girl
backgr d sitting
bench were my mother and sister, both | cm
ago Journal, improbable that
Supply and Demand.
you wouldnt marry
ost by 0 Young
tor. 1
medicine you gave
Doctor— Well ?
Young Lady
hefore
indy
“You
best man living.”
“Maybe it's a on
ture taker somewhe said
¢ 3 & rs Pra
In the fore
the
LOrgot to asx
Ww
in
park. Ww
and In
we,
se of sour grape
Miss Cayenne it's
I'd have the
on a
fided
Do 1
ooking on.—Chie eves or after
Ww
dow,
Lawyers and doctors usually profit
hy their oun advice
If a man Is overbold he occasionally
bowled over
—————————
Enthusiasm
Myr. Jenkins Took a Cracked
Club To Tame Lions
The exhibition ended rather badly. It
very nearly was a big day for the lions
and a sad day for M . Jenkins—all for
want of proper care in getting ready.
Many a man who has business todo and
a living to make and a job to fill is as care-
less how he feeds his body as Mr. Jenkins
was in picking out a club,
Some foods are too heavy, some
are too starchy, many lack neces-
sary elements and so starve the
body — and many load the system
down with fermentation and auto-
intoxication,
Grape-Nuts helps build health
and Stfenieh, It contains the full
richness of wheat and malted bar-
ley, including the vital mineral
elements, without which the body made into a delightful pudding
cannot be fully sustained. Grape- for dinner,
Grape-Nuts—the Body Builder
“There’s a Reason”
Made by Postum Cereal Co, Inc., Battle Creek, Mich.
Nuts digests quickly and whole-
somely. Served with cream or
good milk, it is a compiete food —
crisp and delicious.
Grape-Nuts is just the food for
those who care to meet life's situa-
tions well prepared in health.
Order Grape-Nuts from your
grocer today. Try it with cream
or milk for breakfast or lunch, or
it
my