.
Appiyving the Principle.
“The trouble,” said the anarchist, “is
that there are too many inequalities in
this world.” :
“That's right,” admitted the practical
man.
“We must remedy matters,” went on
the anarchist. “No man should have any
idvantage over another; all should be
tqual.”
“Right again.”
“But where shall we begin?”
“Well,” said the practical man,
thoughtfully, “you're a much larger man
than I am, which gives you an unfair ad-
vantage, of course, and this is decidedly
antagonistic to the theory you have elab-
prated of complete equality in every de-
ail of life. We might begin by cutting
you down to my size.”
His Quick Retort.
The Lady—Yes, it is only men that
turn tramps. Why aren't women idle?
The Tramp—Because most of them
are busybodies, mum.
MISS BONNIE DELANO
A Chicago Society Lady, in a
Letter to Mrs. Pinkham says:
“DrAR Mns. Pixxmax:—Of all the
teful daughters to whom you have
given health and life, none are more
glad than IL.
“My home and my life was happy
MISS BONNIE DELANO.
until illness came upon me three years
I first noticed it by being irreg-
ar and having very painful and
scanty menstruation; gradually my
eneral health failed; I could not en-
y my meals; I became languid and
nervous, with griping pains frequently
in the groins,
“1 advised with our family phys-
ician who prescribed without any im-
rovement. One day he said —T
Eraia Pinkham's Remedies.”
did, thank God ; the next month I was
better, and it gradually built me up
until in four months I was cured. This
is fiearly a year ago and I have not
had a pain or aches since."—BoxNm
Deraxo, 3248 Indiana Ave., Chicago,
Ill. — 85000 forfeit If above testimonial ls met
genulae.
Trustworthy proof is abundant that
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound saves thousands of
oung women from dangers resulting
m organic irregularity, suppression
or retention-of the menses, ovarian or
womb troubles. Refuse substitutes.
are made rich-
er and more
productive and
rich soils retain |
their crop-pro-
ducing powers,
by the use of
fertilizers with
a liberal percentage of
Potash.
Write for our books
~Sent [rec
which give all details.
CERMAN KALI WORKS,
93 Nassau Street, New York City.
WET WEATHE
ort
COMPLETR FACTION
Wills Pills =<:
World,
Send your names and P. O. address to
Are You Sick?
The R. B. Wills Medicine Co., Hagerstown, Md.
Gold Medal nt Buffale Exposition,
McILHENNY’'S TABASCO
ISO Kinds for 16¢c.
Bower
an
- comps nis a
Gallantry of Ameloans,
Americans have not the reputation of
are many occasions when they earn the
envy of the people who are more given
to saying pretty things. At a recent pri-
vate dinner at which Seth Low and his
wife were guests one of the diners said
to the new mayor:
“You must be proud to be the hus-
band of the first lady in New York.”
“I am proud,” said the mayor gal-
lantly, as he glanced tenderly at his wife,
“to be the husband of Mrs. Low.”
On a similar occasion recently the
American Ambassador to the court of
St. James paid a graceful compliment to
his wife.
It was at an informal dinner, at which
the guests were intimate friends. Some-
one proposed that each in turn should
answer the question:
“If you were dead and could come
back to this world in another body, who
would vou prefer to come as?”
When it came to Mr. Choate’s turn, he
said: “I would prefer to come as Mrs.
Choate's second husband.”
Why He Had Nerves.
“A dentist's chair is not a popular re-
I occasionally find persons who like to
linger. I have just finished a
youngster who is a Harvard freshman.
have his teeth fixed, but said that hard
could only stand two sittings a week. He
but 1 did not mind.
father dropped in and asked:
teeth? Po
“Certainly,” said I, ‘if his nervous sys-
tem will stand it.
twice a week.’
the old man. ‘At home, Fred said that
give him.
two weeks more on his vacation.
“I finished that job in the next twenty-
four hours, and the young man didn't
first five minutes in the chair.”
Insuperable Difficulty,
A Scotchman who had been employed
nearly all his life in the building of rail
ways in the Highlands of Scotland went
to the United States in
and settled in a new section on the plains
of the far West. Soon after his arrival
the construction of a railway through
the district, aud the Scotchman was ap-
plied to as a man of experience in such
matters.
railway across this country.”
“Why not, Mr. Ferguson?
of effectually settling the whole matter
“Why not! Dae ye no see the countrys
as flat as a floor, and ye dinna hae ony
place whatever to run your tunnels
through ?”
How a Crowd Laughs.
“The features of the human face.”
Mark Twain the other day, “can readily
be compelled into a kaleidoscope of con-
pression of excruciating agony. You will
never wholly realize this, however, until
you have the opportunity of watching
a humorist in the throes of turning out
a “side-splitter.”
Spiking His Guns.
“You,” sneered the Angry Man,
very small potatoes, indeed.”
“At the present price of potatoes I am
compelled,” said the Other Fellow, “i
consider your remark a compliment.”
are
His Life-preserver,
Miss Madison Avenue—And to what
do you attribute your long life, Uncle
Subberbs ?
Uncle Subberbs—To quinine, my dear
—quinine.— Judge.
Dyeing is as simple as washing when you
use Porxax Faosizss Dyes. Soid by all
druggists,
The fellows who say that it costs no
more for two to live than for one evidently
never had twins.
Send to Garfleld Tea Co., Brook}
for samples Garfield Tea and
Powders—two invaluable remedies,
«N.Y.
eadache
California has over 137,000 acres ia
grapes.
State ov Onto, Ciry or Toreno, }
Lucas Covnry, { 2
Fraxx J. Caxxey, make oath that hoe is the
senior partner of the firm of P. J. Cazxey &
firm will pay the sum of ox2 HUNDRED DOL.
LARS for each and every case of carann that
cannot be cured Ly the use of Hatr's
Cartanax Coee, Faaxx J. Onexny.
: SEAL. : A. W. Greasox,
a} Notary Public,
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, and
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur.
A. D., 1886,
. F. J. Canxry & Co., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75¢c.
Hall's Family Pilla are the best,
No matter where a man was born, he
swells up and claims to be proud of it.
It's the disa
ought to remember to forget.
Many School Children Are Siekly.
Mother Gray's west Powders for Children,
used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Children's
Homo, New York, brook up Colds in 24 hours,
cure FPoverishness, Headache, Stomach
Troubles, Teething Disorders and Destro
Worms, At all druggists’, 250. Sample mail
rare. Addross Allen 8, Olmsted, Le Roy, N. T.
Bome fellows draw on their imaginations
when they have no bank accounts to draw
on.
“Is Worth Its Weight In Gold.”
“Had Eczema for threo years; tried three
dootors and every advertised remedy, without
effect, till I tried Totterine, Half a box of Tet-
torine removed all signs of the disease,” 0,
H, Adams, Columbia, 8, 0. #00, a box
mail from J, T. Shaptrine, fa
your druggist don't keep
Chatterton, the or gL anion,
amounting to
manuscripts.
|
|
Lire
THE BACHELOR,
I————
His hair “\
That once was brown is gray;
No laughing loved ones claim him
Nor charm his woes away.
He has himself alone to please,
No other's fingers search
The pockets in his clothes, and he's
Ne'er dragged away to church,
“Ah, poor old man!” | hear you say;
“Somewhere the grass grows o'er
Some one to whom his heart today
Turns sadly as of yore,
He merely lingers here as one
Who is a transient guest;
His joys are fled, his work is done,
He longs to be at rest
He longs to bid the world adieu,
To cross the river where
He is to meet the loved one who
Is waiting for him there.
Perhaps 'tis 80;
He may have loved and lost;
His soul be tempest tossed;
Below some slanting stone
If he could be alone
For just about an hour or two
With just the one, I'll bet
Some fancy stepping yet.
Chicago Record-Herald.
HAA AERE ENR
VEC VET OOP EVICOPOB
$
=
eed
ee
PROM FAR RHINGEN. P
Te
40 DDR bHDADHODILIO0S TC |
PREPRPEEERERRRRERREEREYRRPRR
The Chinese Legation was the most |
It always
put people in a good humor to go In-
to those beautiful rooms and be greet-
minister, with his
3
tle wife, who seemed to have stepped |
with the greatest cordiality.
No one ever attended their receptions
to eat and hurried away. Every one
came early, enjoyed the warmth and
The crowd was very large, one late
winter afternoon, when two young!
“1 don’t see why you sald I must
growled one of
them.
“You haven't seeu half the pretty
girls in Washington yet, and they'll
all be here.” .
“Where are they?”
“Let's speak to the
then we'll find them.
what's the matter?
ghost? i
“No, not a ghost, but something |
that looks like one. Who is that girl |
in gray down there-—the one with
the large black hat?”
“That's Senator Harrington's daugh. |
minister and
For Pity's sake |
Sick? See al
She's the prettiest girl in Washing |
“Will you present me?”
“Hit already! You Germans are Im. |
pressionable. But say, old man. she's
not in your line. You foreigners with |
beauties. Miss
is the cleverest
States, but |
much beside
not
father
United
has
Harrington's |
man in the |
don't think he |
his reputation and |
“Are you not talking foolishly? 1}
want to meet her”
“Of course you do. ! only wanted
After that day Washington wonder. |
ed and gossiped. Several people were
the German attache to Miss Harring- |
and they toid amusing stories. |
#0 impressed that he blushed and |
stammered and could hardly speak, |
and that Miss Harrington smiled pleas-
antly at him, and had not been at all
After such an auspicious beginning
people looked for some interesting
things. They found them, for the
young man's infatuation grew stronger
Everywhere the beautiful Miss Har.
rington went, the German nobleman
At receptions he stood all
the evening in her train. At parties
he danced with her as often as he
roads in
They sat in
the Senate gallery through long and
tiresome speeches, and did not appear
bored by their dullness.
The feminine portion of society was
exasperated. Every one admired Ger
trude Harrington, but they did not like
The German was young, hand-
some, very rich, titled and clever,
and his absolute and unwavering de-
provoking. They bore her no malice,
for she never looked tri
umphant.
The men respected his judgment
and envied him his prospective happi-
ness,
Society expected the announcement
daily, but it did not come. Time
passed and the waiting ones grew im-
patient. They could not understand
the delay. There was no waning of
the nobleman’s devotion, and no Indi
cations that his ardor was anything
but delightful to Miss Harrington.
People gossiped more than ever. Some
one hinted that Mrs. Harrington some |
times wore a worried look, and Sena.
tor Harrington's secretary insinuated
to some confidential friends that his
employer was developing an outrage
ous temper.
the session, the baron and Miss Har
rington sat alone in the Senator's li-
brary.
“Your father told me this morning
that you are making your preparations
for leaving,” sald the German.
“Yes. Congress will adjourn in a
few days and we shall start West im-
mediately. I thought I had told you.”
“You told me nothing of it, Ger-
trude, why do you like to torment me?
Won't you tell me something tonight?
The uncertainty is so hard that even
& ‘no’ could not be worse.”
“Well, no.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Nao.”
“Why did you say it?”
“Didn't you ask me to?”
“l want you to say ‘ves.’ Gertrude,
you know how well I love you. You
know that I have loved you since I
first saw you. You are so accustomed
to the devotion of the American men
that you cannot understand how a
German loves.
and strength which
American can never feel
“The American men love longer. You
your
0
practical
How
you met me?”
’
“Of course a man has some follies
“I know a
“l always want to hear everything
you say.”
“You Germans
pay better
more genuine ring
can girl who went to Europe to com-
plete her education,
Bhe had told her story in German,
and when she finished she rose and
spoke in her upative tongue,
“Now, my friend, that is the end
of the romance. You have asked me
to marry you and I will do so if you
still desire it. Gerda Heinrich loved
you, blindly, but Gertrude Harrington
does not. Bhe is no longer a German;
she is an American, with an Ameri:
can's sordid ideas. 1 will marry you,
but only for your wealth and title.”
“Gerda, | thank God that reparation
can be made! Take the money and
the title, and if the love and devotion
of my future can atone for—"
“Oh, Wilhelm, I'd marry you if you
did not have 'nen thaler.”—Waverley
Magazine,
BRAIN GUIDES THE HANDS.
Scientific Explanation of Why Some
People Are Left Handed.
It is a well-known fact, says the Lon-
don Optician, that the stronger actly-
ity of the nerves of the right half of
the body (for not only the hand is
concerned) must be ascribed to a pre-
ponderance of the left side of the
brain, whose finer development, es
she much be
fitted for it. She wandered around
Europe for some time, but she was
not contented. She
fill a high 80
position,
“She was passionately fond of the
German language and German litera-
ture and had studied both. She
in Berlin
but that did not satisfy her
wanted the romance of the
life, the center of their individuality.
In fact, she wanted the folk life,
Danube there is a little village
It is very, very old and it is full ot
the causes of the unequal working of
of evolution leads from
2 subsequent-—symmetrical
vessels from which follows
it
ing, as regards the distribution
the blood, and consequently,
blood pressure, and that, on the
there must be under
con-
arteries of the left side of the head.
known experience of
Of special interest
sure upon the left eye. Dr.
deckens found in the latter, as com
pared with the right one, in a surpris
filled-up condition of the vessels of
and his wife
san clothes and wore the dreas of the
hemble Germans of the village. The
neighbors that she was a nlece who
had come from the north to live with
them.
“She was very happy in Ehingen
She forgot that she was an American
girl, and became a German in heart
The big, yellow haired lad-
and sang with them and with the
“To the village fair, one day, went
He had come to
and he
peasants dancing. A girl
a shorter construction of the eyeball
This furnishes reason for the fact that
in a large number of persons the left
eye is the better one.
development of the left half of the
brain is explained very simply by the
fact that it is better supplied
blood, and the question why it is the
seat of the center of speech and why
in the most natural manner.
by the examinations of left-handed per.
BONS.
was noticeable on the right side of
face; the right eye
her glass. He asked
and they told
and she lived with her uncle and aunt
in the village. They danced together
all the afternoon, and when she went
“That summer he staved in the vil-
on the
the shadows
everything points to a better
supply
which, in consequence, imparts to the
ance over the right one, a condition
styled left-handednesa.
left-handed persons to sleep on the
left side in the unconscious endeaver
to relieve the right half of their brain,
to the students who
through the towns.
“The summer passed and she did not
tell him who she was,
ed her to be a peasant girl. One even-
ing the day. For right-handed persons
the position on the right side is the
more natural one for the same rea
son
Flower Business.
Many a fair lady receives a basket
cost the donor $75 or $100. The story
a few days before a certain
cool in the moonlight, he told her that
he must leave her for a few days. He
had been summoned to Berlin, but he
would soon return.
“He left her, and in a week came
back to tell her good-by forever, He
had been appointed attache of a lega-
tion in a distant country. He was am-
bitious and wanted something besides
his inherited wealth and title. This
appointment was a great honor, and
a stepping stone to still greater ones.
He ved Gerda, but a rich German
nobleman could not take a peasant
wife to foreign courts.
“After he had gone, Gerda realized
how hearts can ache. The pain grew
so flerce that she could not endure it;
she must go back to her home So
she left Ehingen and went to America,
to fill the place that was walting for
her in the great capital
“Nearly two years later, she heard
that the fickle lover had proved so
good a diplomat that he was to be sent
to Washington on an important mis
sion,
“Soon after he reached this country
he saw at a reception a girl who start.
led him, she looked go like a girl he
had known. But the other girl was a
little peasant who sat by the Danube
weeping for a false lover, or lay at
the bottom of the blue river, and this
one was the daughter of a United
States Senator and a member of the
American official cirele. He was con.
fused when he met her; perhaps he
was thinking of a summer in Ehingen.
“He fell in love with the American
girl, but the thought never came to
him that she and Gerda were the
same. He asked her to marry him,
but she laughed at him. He asked her
again and again, but she only evaded
his question, and he loved her more
feaperately because she tantalized
"im. She enjoyed his sufferings, and
after a winter's amusement of this
gort she was ready to end the game.”
’
i
weight in gold.
the floral decorations on certain nota.
ble occasions. A million dollars is
ding flowers alone. To decorate a
church like St. Partholomew's, even
with a marked degree of simplicity,
costs at least $1,000. At Christmas
and Easter the New York churches
fairly bloom with lilies. One New
York florist raises in his green houses
50,000 lilies for Easter decorations
alone. At the balls given in New York
the floral decorations are unrivaled in
the world.
Palms, ferns, and the other greens
which are the bases of all decorations
are on most occasions supplied by flor-
ists making a specialty of growing
plants for that purpose. The class of
plants fitted for decoration are often
difficult of increase and slow of
growth, and are therefore more valu
able than the common plants, They
are rarely bought when used at public
dinners, or even private receptions,
but are hired for about half their val
ue ~Everybody's Magazine,
ThoughtSaving Inventions.
« Dr. Henry L. Brunner, head of the
department of hiolegy In the Butler
University of Indianapolis, predicts
that this century will be remarkable
PENNSYLVANIA
BRIEFLY TOLD.
Condensed Special Dispatches From
Many Poials.
COLUMBIA COUNTY'S GOLD MINE.
Company te Develop su Eighteen Inch Velo
of Ore—Laber Leaders Arrested-—Altoons
(lass Works’ Masager Charges Conspiracy
State to Build Two Bridges — Soldiers
Monument for Media
Pensions granted :—Jacob Metz, Oak
land, $6; Samuel Drane, Duke Center,
$0; Ray E. Ade, Liberty, $6; Charles L
Benson, Ridgway, $8; James Kelly, Erie
$32; George Watson, Maincburg, $14
Joseph H. Newcomb, Bedford, $i2;
William Deyarmin, Indianna, $12;
William L. Danbenspeck, North Hope
$14; Richard W. Jones, Braddock, $10;
John Sibert, Hackneye, $12; James M
Hughes, Washington, $10; Leonard Por
ter, Cambridge Springs, $6; Ephraim A
Adams, Punxsutawney, $10; Wesley
Long, Port Allegany, $10; Oliver L
Temple, Newton Hamilton, $12; Nich-
olas Ott, Allegheny, $8; Mary J. Mar
shall, Dunbar, $8; Mary E. Shaner, Bell
wood, $8; Barbara A. Kirkpatrick, Du.
Bois, $12; Barbara Schad, Pittsburg, $8
Mary F. Leathers, Howard, $8
Mob surrounded the
the purpose of lynching
colored, for the murder of Policeman
Mark W. Allen, Jr. Prisoner saved by
being spirited off to Media
A wreck caused by a broken wheel oc
Chester jail for
Albert West
ar
ing Railway near Rupert, in whicl
freight cars loaded
were demolished,
Patrick Donnelly,
Mt. Laffee, was killes
on the Coal Castle 1
from his hon
#reeh
with
branch, rods
¢ was lying on the
$ not noticed in the blind
ing snow storm then raging
The fourth anniversary of Bishop
Talbot's enthronement
bishop of the Central Penns;
cese of the Episc Church, were cel
ebrated in Trinity Episcopal Church,
Pottsville. Rev. James B. May deliv
as
1
ylvamia Dio
0
pa
y
ersary of
3ible Society was
the
held
The eighty-second ann
The prin-
James Morrow, of Philadelphia, secre-
Rev. D. L. Fogleman, the recently
Lincoln,
Denver, Schoeneck and Swamp, was in-
stalled in the church at Denver. The
ceremonies were conducted by Rev. Dr
J. W. Hassler, of this city, president of
the Lancaster conference of the Luth-
eran Synod
Bradbury Post, of Media, and Wilde
Post, of Chester, of the Grand Army of
the Republic, have appointed commit
tees, who with a number of citizens will
seek to take advantage of the recent act
of Assembly empowering the County
Commissioners to erect soldiers’ monu-
ments, A petition will be presented to
the next term of
ry move for the
monument in the
courthouse yard at Media
L. C. Gelsinger, the Simon Burns glass
court
as a prelimin
toona on a warrant charging him with
Manager William Ormner, of
the Altoona glass plant, is the prosecu
tor. A warrant for Frank Yonnison,
has been issued, the harge
being made against him. The alleged
attempt to close the local glass plant is
responsible for the prosecutions, the two
accused men being engaged in 2a effort to
organize the local glass workers
Charters were issued at the State De
partment as follows: Western Penn
1 .
aiso same <
Pittsburg ; capital, $20,000. Greensburg
capital, $10,000. Wabash Land Compa
ny, Pittsburg: capital, $1,000. Nansen
Supply Company, Nansen, Elk county
capital, $10,000. Clarion & Summerville
Natural Gas Company, Clarion; capital,
$25,000.
William
Nissely, of
Ulrich, of Hummelstown;
Middletown: J. M
Hoover, of Wilkes-Barre; W. T. Smith,
of Mifflinville, and W. O. Holmes, of
Bloomsburg, viewers appointed by the
Governor to report as to the right of the
State to replace the two bridges over
Catawissa Creek that were washed away
by the recent flood, have reported in
favor of both bridges. The estimated
Samuel Locker, aged 20 years, of Phil
adelphia, a student at the Elwyn Train-
ing School for the Feeble Minded, was
killed at the Elwyn Station. A number
of students were unloading goods from
a freight car, and whether Locker lost
his balance when an express train came
along or became bewildered and jump-
ed to his death, is not known. At all
events he fell directly in front of the
moving train and was crushed to death
The Esther Furnace Mining Compa-
ny has began to develop its mes along
Roaring Creek, in Cleveland Township,
on which has been found an cighteen-
inch vein of what is said to be gold ore.
The land on which the mineral 1s found
is owned by farmers, and the company
is composed of local capitalists. The
work of erecting a smelter will be begun
Mrs. Phoebe Gerberich, wife of Al
derman Landis A. Gerberich, of Lancas-
ter, died suddenly. With several hun-
dred others, Mrs. Gerberich was march.
ing to a banguet hall to participate in
the anniversary celebration of the
Knights of the Mystic Chain, when she
sank to the pavement on the main street
expired a few minutes later. Her
death was due to heart discase.