A DANGEROUS ACCOMPLISHMENT,
Sn
There dwells near me a little kid,
That's learnin’ how to talk.
He tries to do as he 1s bid
An’ does his best to walk.
An’ if I thought that he'd receive
Advice, I'd give him some,
And that would be to make believe
That he was deaf and dumb.
I'd tell him to quit practicing
His “ah goo” by the hour;
To smile an’ never do a thing
But blossom like a flower.
I'd show to him how often men
Go slidin’ down luck’s hill
By simply sayin’ something when
They ought to have kep' i
SLi,
It's kind o' hard, when you have
To steer aright your bark
To see your fragile hopes collide
Agin some fool remark.
If I was him I'd change this bent.
Nor try to rise above
My present state, but
To live an’ laugh an’
be
A MODERN JONAH.
JAAS SANA ANSN
“There's a whale.
him
near the after wi
Bill Hawk:
spout,” cri
+ lot
it let uj
cold. Ice-
It was my
ry hitcen minutes
1 uo
The next night was
bergs in the neigh!
turn on deck, and e
we tested the temperature of the
“ ‘Forty-three,’ ays Tom Smith as
hagled, wp the thermometer, ‘it’s getting
“Up forward the watch was sniffin
thesair an’ peering out mto the blackest
darkness the Atlantic can get over it in
them parts. Yer couldn’ see anyhing off
the ship ‘cept the foam close alongside
while the binnacle light looked like the
open lid of a galley stove Well, sirs,
just as | was going below, Tom Smith
come apt me and toched m’ arm, kind
of strange like.
but I Judge it was pale, ‘cause he was
shakin's all over
* ‘Dyer hear it
skind of voice,
* ‘Hear what? says I.
¥ ‘Singin’,’ says he
* “In the fo'c’sle >
and.’
“ ‘No,’ says he; ‘no, not in the fo'c'sle
water
ho
fe
*
port deam into the dark
“There, he cried a ain, ‘dy e
it, Bill? D'yer hear it” Oye hea:
“By this time I was
creepy m'self, "cause,
sound mighty much like singin’ was
waftin’ itself at us out of the night,
“It's the sirens,’ says Tom, leaning
up against the mainmast and staring the
way it came.
“ ‘Has sirens got bass voices, Tom
Smith? says I, "and are they given
singing about the death light >
“Then we stopped and listened once
more. It was still night and as the
sound got gradually stronger and lainer,
we could hear these words rol ing in
over the deep:
“Oh, it struck two bells in the first dog
watch,
And the wind was blowin’ hard,
When a great green light like a burnin’
ese
Stuck fast in the foremast yard;
Then the bos'n piped out an awful howl,
‘We're all dead dogs,’ says he,
‘For the man who can watch that light
an’ live
Don’t sail on the ragin’ sea.’
“Good Lord,’ says Tom, ‘our time's
come sure. This is a doomed ship.
“Hold on,’ says I, ‘that there voice
I've heard before. There it goes again.’
was |
more the voice struck up:
“Bunkin' on an icebers,
Sailin’ with the tide,
Ice enough for Christmas,
Plenty more beside;
Icic les tor breakfast,
Melted ice for tea,
1d own from |
ing od
Ing af
S
eland,
Icy
“Well ninute more the
watch up forward lets out a yell: ‘Ice
berg on the port bow
“The captain tumbled up
just the
a Rre
deck an’
we sce
on
as we got ship clear,
if
t gle: 1”
Silver
ahead.
y
Sora yelled
Crasping at a Sunbeam
mmon enough thing f
Farm Raised the Mortgage.
rding to Sidney Lanier, “There is
§
first
of seven
was about
whole business
But he make one more
effort and sowed eighty acres of wheat,
It happened to be a poor year for
wheat, and the stand was not very good
Concluding that it wasn’t worth har-
vesting, he pulled up stakes and went
ready to
determine
fight the mortgage all by itself. The
farm was equal to the task
[he wheat ripened, fell down, and
deposited the seed in the soil again. Next
Some of the neighbors were
fugitive in Missouri,
He got interested enough to
and harvested his voluntary crop
over, with which
he moved his family back. Now he de-
clares there is no State like Nebraska,
Up-to-Date filustrating,
“If,” says a floating paragraph, “there
is a battle in Europe, Asia or Africa a
hundred years hence kodak pictures of
it will appear in American papers the
same day, the outline being sent by
ocean cable.” But what is there re-
markable in that? We already have
papers which give us pictures of battles
cn the other side of the world the same
day they are fought, and sometimes
when they are not fought at all. —Lowis-
ville Courier-Journal,
Thirty-six per cent. of the area of
the State of Washington is covered with
merchantable timber,
VENTRILOQUISM EXTRAORDINARY.
The Astonishing Performance Given by
Sothern's Confederates on the Roof,
One of the peculiarities of Actor Soth-
ern’s elaborated jokes was the way in
which he worked up to them. He pre-
tended to have accidentally discovered
that he possessed the gift of the born
ventriloquist, and arranged experi-
ment or. the occasion of a supper party
an
a London suburb. There was a foolish
kind of hanger-on of Sothern's, wh
i g .
loved to boast of his intimacy with the
al.)
famous comedian. He had often
“I wish you would let me help you it
one of your practical Mr. Soth
ern.” Sothern humored his desire. Mr
Edgar Pembertr 1 tells the story his
oY .
Jemoir ot
The ¢
0
said,
joke
it
in
Sothron.”
medy must, for my
» reduced to paragraph. Y
wf the fessional
of talking up the chimney to an
mary an on tne
ranged for his
mount
a
"ny
Pi
1
imag
roof
r and pi
‘ which
England's Vagrants V
ani
{ne
How She Cot Satisfaction.
upied two $1%0
1:4
Gi
seats at the
wen
1
4tiy hats
| answered :
“No, 1 will not.”
When the first scene was over
asked them again, and again they
swered “No!”
Then she went t
a complaint
he sad, “it 1s a hardship,
madam, but | hesitate to ask them to
take off their hats, for I know them. and
I know they would refuse, and if 1
should undertake to compel them there
would be a scene Jut I can do better
for you than that. There is a vacant
Go and
take that, and I will see that you are
not disturbed.”
She took it.
“Keep your hats on ladies, if you
choose You will not incommoode me
she
an-
y the head usher and
made
made
: Yes.”
Then she put on her own hat, a close
imitation of a Gainsborough in its de.
sign, makeup, and general scope, and sat
serenely with it on her head through all
the rest of the performance.
For she was only human, and the pro-
vocation was great. —Chicago Tribune.
Love Makes Arms Co Round.
They were seated side by side on the
parr sofa, and there wasn't room
enough between them for an argument,
“George,” murmured the maid, after
a blissful silence extending over a period
of several minutes, “I'm afraid your
arm must be very painful”
“Why do you think so, dearest? ne
asked.
‘Because,” she coyly replied, “it seems
to be out of place.”
“Oh, well, never mind,” said George.
“It will come around all right."—Bu/.
falo Commercial,
Many a man has risen in the world by
taking the bull by the horns.
i
4
ESTIMATING CHARACTER.
Rev. Dr, Talmage Says the Divine Way
Differs From the Human Way,
The American Nation [Fut Inte the Royal
Balance ~~ “The Lord Weigheth
the Spirits.”
[Copyright 1901.1
Wasninaron, D. C.—In this discourse
from: a svmbol of the Bible Dr. Talmage
urges the adoption of an unusual mode of
estimating character and shows how dif.
ferent is the divine way from the human
way; text, Proverbs xvi, 2, “The Lord
woigheth the spirits.”
The subject of weights and measures is
discussed among all nations, is the subject
of legislation, and has much to do with
the world's prosperity. A system of
weights and measures was invented by
Phidon, ruler of Argos, about 800 years be-
fore Christ. An ounce, a wound, a ton,
were different in different lands.” Henry
III. decided that an ounce should be the
weight of 640 dried grains of wheat from
the middle of the ear. From the reign of
William the Conqueror to Henry VIII.
the English pound was the weight of 7680
grains of wheat. Queen Elizabeth decreed
that a pound should be 7000 grains of
wheat taken from the middle of the ear.
The piece of platinum kept at the
of the exchequer in England in an atmos
phere of sixty-two degrees F. decides for
all Great Britain what a poun
Scientific representatives
met in 1860 in Paris
office
ures.
You all know something of
weight, of apothecaries’ weight, :
weight. You are familiar with the differ
ent kinds of weighing machines, whether
a Roman balance, which is our steelyard,
or the more usual instrument consisting
of a beam supported in the middle, having
two basins of equal weight suspended to
the extremities. Seales have been invented
to weigh substances huge, like mountains
and others delicate enongh to weigh ir
nitesimals. But in all the universe there
has only been balance that eould
weigh thoughts, emotions, affections. ha-
treds, ambitions. That balance was fash.
ioned by an Almighty God. and is hung up
for perpetual service. “The Lord weigh-
eth the epirits.’
The d™ine weigher puts into the
ance the spirit of charity and decide
much of it really exists. It may
nothing at all. It may be that it
the unfortunate, “Take and
bother me any more.” It may be
sional impulse. It may depend uj
condition of the
breakfast partaken of a |
t may be called forth by
the solicitor. It may be exer
of rivalry, which practical
neighbor has g
must as much.”
occasional or spasm
spirit of
and weighe
look
It does no
which is only
one
this
An OCoa-
the
of
mn
$
iver
yen so
man's charity starts fr
love of G dl and orn in heas
en. It is a lifelong chiracteristi It may
have a million d yilars or a penury to ue
tow, but the manner
bestows it shows that it is a divin
planted principle
The one penny
ely ¥
given may, considering
the limited cir tan at t asm
engelic and heavenly attenti }
the check given in charity was s
stagpered the cashier of the be
it. It is not amount
spirit with which
weigheth the spi
Perhaps uo «
man's
to this:
last mom
will
purer
wo ad.)
his face, i
larges his na
shows iteelf
of £1 as the
tribute $00
3 3
that
bal the
and invisible
and I eateh
abideth
but t}
SO also in
the spirit of faith
pends on whether
and the man had
and whether the first
the moming tells hum s
or disagreeable mie
store do not ame
pected, and he rs home wiih
complaints to fil 4 ae @
enters it. Another ¢
ty or forty per cent
as he is putting the key i
his family hear him whistling a tune most
uoilant. He has faith that everything in
iz own affairs and in the affairs of church
and state are tending toward better condi
tions until something depressing happens
in his own personal experiences or under
his own observation.
‘But there is another man who by re
pestance and prayer has put himself into
alliance with the Almighty God. Made all
right by the Baviour’s grace, this man goes
to work ®™ make the world straight. Hesays
to himseli: “God launched this world, and
He never launched a failure. The Garden
of Eden was a useless morass compared
with what the whole world will be when
it blossoms and leaves and flashes and re
sounds with its coming glory. God will
save it anyhow, with me or without me,
but I want to do toy share. I have some
equipment, not as much as some others,
but what { have I will use. 1 have power
to frown, and I will frown upon iniquity.
have power to smile, and I will .
encouragement upon all the struggling. 1
have a vocabulary not so opulent as the
vocabulary of some others, but I have a
mean to
scatter them in helpfulness. 1 will ascribe
ht motives to others when it is possible.
i can say anything good about others, 1
oR,
the
do
:
oe,
faa
cates
the
Or ft
0 80 much a
yn
y sales Ale Tween
than usual, a
can say nothing but evil
of them, I will keep my lips shut as tight
os the lips of the Sphinx, which for 3000
i
|
|
i
|
1
desert and uttered not one word abdut the
desolation. The scheme of reconstructing
this world is too great for me to manage
but I am not expected to boss this job. i
have faith to beiieve that the plan is well
laid out and will be well executed. Give
me a brick and a trowel, and I will begin
now to help build the wall, I am not a
soloist, but I can sing ‘Rock of Ages’ to a
Jick uper. 1 eahnot write a great book,
ut I can pick a cinder out of a child's eye
a splinter from under his thumb nail,
now enlist in this army that is going to
take the world for God, and I defy all the
!
|
|
sage me. Count me into the service. I can:
not play upon a musical instrument, but 1
lish a cornet or string a harp or ap-
hestra.”
rough that man’s experience there
runs a faith that will keep him cheerful
and busy and triumphant. like the
watchword of Cromwell's “Ironsides,” the
men who feared Bathing and dared every
of Jacob is our refuge. Selah!” No bal
. ever planned or
human hand ever constructed is worthy
of weighing such a spirit, Gold and pre
cious stones are measured by the earat
which is four grains, The desler puts the
diamond or the pearl on one side of the
scales and the carat on the other, and tells
you the weight. But we need something
more delicately constructed to weigh that
wonderful quality of faith which I am glad
to know will be recognized and rewarded
for all time and all eternity.
The earthly weighman counterpoises on
metallic balances the iron, the coal, the ar
ticles of human food, the sslids of earthly
merchandise, but he camnot test or an.
nounce the amount of things spiritual
Put also into those royal scales the am-
bitioua spirit. Every healthy man and
woman has ambition. The lack of it is a
sure sign of idioey immorality, The
only question is, What shall be the stvle
of our ambition? To stack up a stupen-
dous fortune, to acquire a resounding
name, to sweep everything we can reach
into the whirlpool of our own selfishness
that is debasing, ruinous and deathful, If
in such a spirit we get what we start for,
we only secure gigantic discontent. No
man was ever made happy by what he got
It all depends upon the spirit with which
we get it and the spirit with which we
keep it and the spirit with which we dis-
tribute it. Not since the world stood has
there been any instance of complete hap-
piness from the amount accumulation
Give the man ~f worldly ambition pixty
years of brilliant successes. He sought for
renown, and the nations spesl name;
he sought for affluence, to
his wits’ end to stocks
and bonds in which he m ' » his in
vestments: he
and trustee in enough in
president of enough « np
paresis, of which he is
roval balances are lifted t
ition which
Vi was
Or
§
3
nt
find ou
titutions and
now ‘
we ¥
has controlled him a life
the worth that amt n
much did it yield for usefulness and
¥ Less than a uple, less than a
in of sand, less th atom, less
nothing. Have a funeral : }
carriages: let the rie robes
rustie the casket:
the scene by choirs which chant * essed
are the dead that die in the Lord.”
failure, and if his heirs
Surrogate’s court about the
pacity the to make a last
and testament it 1 only be a pro
ation of the failure. The son through
ation, spent his share of the fortune
¢ the father died
3.11 3 3
JAY
Of
hest of ecclesi
antic about
is a
in the
of testator
ighter married against
and
he could neve
in their claim
on so much of
ve not appropri
she
I's
be heave
balances
ment there will
38 in the
eth the sp
character a
fF Fevers 4
King and
large d determined
ake war against the Romans, and Ci
friend of the king, said to
was
u next? “Then Sicily
hand and easy to master” “And what
when vou bave conquered Sicily?’ “Then
vou do
which cannot long withstand us’
“When these are conquered, what will you
next attempt?” “Then we will fall
upon Greece and Macedonia and recover
what we have lost there’
all are subdued what fruit do vou expect
from all your victories? “Then.” said
the king, “we will sit down and enjoy our
selves.” “Sir.” said Cineas, “may we not
do it now? Have you not already a king
dom of your own? And he that cannot
enjoy himself with a kingdom cannot with
the whole world.”
say to you who Jove the Lord the
kingdom is within you. Make more of the
invisible conquests; study a peace which
the world has no bushel to measure, no
steelyards to weigh. Ae far as possible
thage,
divine balances
What a world this will be when it is
taken place! Scientists now
put the Apennines and the Sierra Nevadas
and Chimborazo and the Himalayas in the
scalex, but if weighed as to ite morals at
would be the wars, the
heaviest thin
PP the erimes mountain
international
hemispheres on their way through immer.
sity. But when the gospel has gardenized
the earth, as it will i gardenize it, and
the atmosphere shall be universal balm,
and the soil shall produce universal har
vest and fruitage, and the last cavalry
horse shall go unsaddied, and the last gun
carriage unwheeled, and the last fortress
turned into a museum to show nations in
peace what a horrid thing war once was,
then the world will be weighed, and as
the opposite side of the scales lifts as
though it was light as a feather the right
gide of the scales will come down, weigh:
ing more than all else, those tremeénd
values that St. Peter enumerated-—faith,
virtue, knowledge, tem nee, patience,
godliness, brotherly kindness, charity. .
God forbid that it should ever be writ.
ten concerning us as individuals or com-
munitios or nations, as it was written on
the wall of Belshazzar's banqueiing hall
the hour when Daniel impeached mon:
arch and translated the fier
blanched the cheeks
re
wi ne.
ances and fo.nd
COMMERCIAL REVIEW,
sincral Trade Corditioms.
firm
Ra8tjc;
drovisions.—The market is
Jobbing prices ytlders,
do short ribs, of lo clear sides, gic:
do clear sides,
tof; bacon shoulders, gc. Fat backs,
Sie. Sugar curcd breasts. 11350; sugar
cured shoulders, 0 Hams-—-Small,
1185¢; large, 11¢; smoked skinned hams,
12V5¢c; picnic hams, 8¥c Lard--Best
refined, pure, in ticrces, 914¢; in tubs,
gv5c per 1b. Mess Pork, per bbl, $15.00.
Hides.—~Quote: Green salted, 5%¢;
do do, damaged, Gc; do do, Southern,
damaged. $Vic; dry
flint, 13¢: do, damaged. 11; dry
salted, 11¢; do do, damaged, 1oatolic;
calf, 1oc; dry glue, GVic. Bull
hides, per Ih, green, $V:ab6c; do do, per
Goatskins, 15a2%¢
Calisking, green salted, 6oaSoc. Sheep
skins, Goaysc. Spring lambskins, 30a
JOC.
Live Poultry. — Market is steady.
Quote: Hens, 10¢; old roosters, cach,
2%aj30c; spring chickens, 1Razsc: winter
do, 2 to 2l5ibs, 16a18c. Ducks, Raoc.
Geese, apiece, 30a40¢
Live Stock.
East Liberty, Pa Cattle steady; ¢x-
tra, $5.70a3.88; prime, $35.50a5.65: goml,
§3.3008.40. Hogs lower; prime heavies
and best aediums, $5.020428908; heavy
Yorkers $390a3.6215; light do, $5.8sa
S00: pgs, $3785.85; skips, $4.75a8.25;
roughe, 84.00a3.50. Sheep slow; best
wethers, $4.15a4.40,
Chicago, Il — Caitle ~~ Sicers active:
good 10 prime steers, $3.30a6.00; poor
to medi, $4.20a8.20; cows, $200a3.70;
heifers, $2.0084.90; calves active, ri
26.00; Texas fed steers, $4.25a5.40.
bacon rib sides. 10
do
.