— messi
THE OLD, OLD STORY.
They call it the old, old story, but to me
80 sweetly new,
it told by you
Its music soothes the troubling of the
heart that quicker beats,
dear voice soft repeats!
They call it the old, old story, but in ali
this world to-day,
There is nothing that can lighten
can drive the gloom away
Like the throbs of pure contentment that
come when it is told
like the thrills of joy that tingle when
the buds of love unfold !
that
They call it the old, old story, filled with
memory 's golden glow,
Reflecting back the brightness of a happy
long ago
telling of it yet,
And, erowned with sweetheart's kisses,
joyful hears—to ne'er forget !
—{EpwWARD N. Woob, in Atlanta Consti-
tution.
THE HONEST BURGLAR
BY H. C. DODGE.
I am in the burgling business, and
I maintain that it can be conducted
a8 honestly as any other. Perhaps I
am mistaken, but I certainly raised
it to a much higher level than it was
when first I selected that means of
livelihood.
My motto, ‘‘Honesty isthe East
Policy—See,”’ is neatly engraved on
all my professional tools and my
title of “The Honest Barglar,”’ will
go on my tombstone in due time, and
when my strictly honorable exploits
can be safely mentioned with pride
by my relatives and friends.
I always made a point of geeking a
foeman worthy of my steal. Never
do I enter a house no matter what in-
ducements contents may offer—
which has not the very latest scien-
tific burglar i Ordinary
locks and bolts 1 positively refuse to
attack and car
and windows
of. 1
its ts
irotections,
elessly left open doors
I disdain to n
: 4
those
A
ake use
leave
¢
t
high-
g
1COUr.
professic
toned and i
aging to one’s self-respect.
Now that I have introduced
honest sel ell a story.
ap who had made his
18
table and so
or
my
milli
ed & mansion with ¢
trical burglar alarms Known
Every door and low
protected 80 the slichtest touch fii
the wires were set would jangle
1 8 way I despise had ere
didi the finest
“
we
was oun;
Wine
berless bells and tur
gas all over the house in
illumination.
melodious display
tale =
tempti its of
ed witl to
lept in plain sigh
dining-room.
All these imposing preparation
expensive and for tl
a
n addition to all
there
stairea
iverware
were
en on si
1
wires
:
L VV
ng con
1 main battery
r the safe
in
8, ¢
er
ght,
troublesome f{
owner gave to me a glorious de
a looking forward to attacking them
with a small boy's Fourth of July
enthusiasm.
At last the battle night came, and
with it Mr. William Mummer, my
active partner in the business.
Mr. Mummer was highly respected
in ti Like
rever stooped to conquer, and was
equally noted for his gentlemanly
ways and sturdy honesty.
Only once in his busy life was he
ever taken in and done for, and I
couldn't blame him a bit, either.
You see he was making a profes-
gional call on a rich bachelor, and
while putting things away in the
handsome room he was painfully sur-
prised by the sudden arrival of his
host with some gentleman friends.
Not willing to seem intrusive, Mr.
Mummer quietly slipped under toe
bed to await an opportunity for de-
parting pleasantly.
From his snug retreat Mr. Mum-
mer beheld six well-polished boots
spread themselves comfortably on the
Turkish rug, evidently in shape to
il
1¢ profession, myself, he
to catch the train for home.
Soon the jolly gentlemen lighted
cigars and commenced telling funny
stories, ending each with a chorus of
hearty laughter.
etiquette of not mixing in where he
wasn't wanted, kept a becoming
silence until a funnier story than
usual was told,
ngonizing struggle to choke his un-
which
the gentlemen shame-
tremendous ** haw-haw-haw !”’
frightened
fully.
mer had ample time afterward to en-
joy the joke while taking a little va-
cation from business in the State
Laundry.
But he soon recovered my respect
for his sterling qualities by a trick
he played when cornered in a fash-
fonable boarding house one might.
While the landlady was ringing the
big bell and the alarmed boarders
were searching for him with guns,
Mummer entered a deserted
room and promptly went to bed with
his boots on. There, with the blanket
tucked tightly under his handsome
chin, he lay yelling as loud as the
loudest and grandly ordering the
bold warriors with guns from his
room when they rushed in to see if
he was being murdered. "Twas lucky
his bed belonged to a terror-stricken
maiden lady who had t refuge
eo henwise Mr. Mummer
might not have been so smart,
I he got out of 5 Apna
daylight and took his swag, too,
.
and consequently his fame was un-
diminished by that episode.
{ Now that I have introduced Mr.
| William Mummer, Esq., I will go on
with my story.
"T'was a black midnightin adreary
| November. The sky was
{and a lively wind was banging shut-
| ters and moaning through the swuy-
| deserted country road.
With wvalises containing articles
used in our trade, and smoking pipes
with stoppers on to hide their glow,
wet and soggy ground till old Fort
Electricity, as we dubbed the object
| of our attack, loomed up before us.
We knew the place
3ill and myself had managed to se-
| cure work there when the house was
being remodeled. Through a side
{ hedge and across a large lawn from
tree to tree we cautiously advanced,
pausing frequently to observe and
listen.
Not asound, save the uncanny shriek
of a sereech owl, and the blustering,
chilly wind soughing among the ever-
greens and creaking the bare treetops,
i fell on our eager ears.
{ Thanks to the supposed superior
protection of electricity, dogs were
| not hand to interfere with our
i pleasure—though had there been we
{had a patent way of winning their
friendship.
When we got close to the house we
made a circuit around it, and finding
everything safe and comfortable, we
prepared for business. of
attempting ‘a arded door or win-
dow, or even cutting a hele through
the clapboards into the parlor, as we
might have done to avoid the
our plan was to through
unprotected roof. Taking from
bar an arrow, with l fishir
line attached, 1
(which had |
neatly shot
on
TT |
Instead
gu
wires
enter
F111 en my cane
eling) and i the |
and over tl
clear of windowsor
In a few minut
it told me that
arrow on ‘tother
Then I tied on
but strong enough
1 men, and
Next i
high-power pulley block, «
t rope for
$
: 3 11d
ascent, an re the signal to hau
A
i
i
a he
to hang t
Bill
¥
fastened n
ary signaled
away.
greased 1
which was the flexible
away again and make fast
Se Bill did so and, joining me,
So0n
ioft
we got ready
I went
senior partner
‘ourse, being the
on and
cern
8 wooden
1 away on the end
aon
cross-piece i
$
less rope at ne pound pull
i i
f
lifting four), ana easily raised myself
to where
broad enves ol
ping roof.
In a jiffy
F143
é
upon the
&l
Partner
act
y Circus
were, the bolt was forced
Electricity was taken, with its gar.
rison blissfully dreaming of the safety
afforded by the latest burglaralarms,
Softly ereeping down scuttle
ladder we gained the garret floor and
there, by the cheery light of our dark
lanterns, we
the
fie
donned our working
suits consisting of long white night.
gown and caps, and which, 1 am proud
to say ,3I invented for occ:
the present.
Being an honest burgl
onsidered it square tor
w
asions like
ar, I never
¢ wedlessly star.
tle n sleeping person. T
cially suffer from nervous shock and
fright and either faint dead away
scream so loudly that it isannoying
say the least.
The men are apt to waxon
humor or seared to death, and in both
cases are generally beyond reach of
argument.
But in our handsome ruffled night-
gowns and caps we fearlessly glide
in and out of bedrooms, make half-
awake men turn over on their pil-
lows 80 we can get their watches or
pistols with no more than a sleepy
grunt at being disturbed, and even
get in bed beside them if there's dan-
ger of actual discovery.
You see our boldness and appear-
ance naturally causes them to take
us for members of
| treat us accordingly.
This surely is much
than burning sulphur matches under
| their noses or blinding their eyes with
he ladies espe-
if
to
out of
them a pointed revolver blaff or
a billy erack on a defenseless bald
| head.
and I guess you'll fully agree with
me.
Well, Bill and I, like two white-
robed Santa Clauses, came down-
| stairs and went straight to our work,
{ Bill taking the rooms on one side of
the dimly-lighted hall, and I the
others.
Here let me say that snoring,
tener, becomes in our business a
most melodious and soothing sound.
Like Sancho Panza, I bless the man
who invented sleep, and tnrice bless
the woman, perhaps, who invented
the sweeter snore, though I never do
it myself, not baving time at night
like other folks.
Breathing these blessings, 1 en-
tered the main room, where the old
general of the fort lay snoring for all
o was worth,
First I tackled his trousers and got
his well-stuffed wallet, then picked
up a young jewelry store from the
bureau, then fished for his watch
under his pillow. But the old snorer
lay on it hard so it wouldn't ceme.
Bhoving him gently the shoulder
1 whispered ftaen Ti
Half opening his eyes, erough to
see my white robe, he gave the usual
grunt and obeyed. In a moment his
interrupted snore became louder than
{ before, and the ticker was mine.
| To the next room I went and as
| easily helped myself.
The third room, which was
| guest chamber, I visited with
success, and then, not
the
the
for
the first floor, I sneaked out in
to find Bill and skip out
good the way he had come,
darkness visible, and shortly 1
3ill's noble ghostlike
from a room and, without looking in
my direction, walk toward
end of the hall,
In one instant I noise
him and, touehing his
pered : Bill:
git!"
The form turned around-—but it
wasn't Bill. The mother-in-
law of the establishment stood
fore me, burning me with
Ere I could hide my surprised face
and mode tly
do the same—she got on
racket
grabbed
saw
the
less]
arm,
it's tir
‘ome, ne
fierce
be-
her eyes.
}
tigress
with
and like
whiskers
shriecked
: “robbers!
, till she made me tired.
frown Hn
my both
and
thieves!
hands
and *
ete
f $
i
: 4 ' ay
elt so queer in all my life
and
screams
alarm bells
flashed the
part of
Luckily I h
pistol or
At t
white
whole lower
the brilliant.
3 ¥i g
wa owe
.,
fit
bour
2. %:.3 .
A'slide down the
IV WAS secured,
ond to lose,
Hastils
Means oj
wi FAW 6
our efforts were
Deg
GOWS and we
{OW guns were
the wis
ig shouts from witho
he house was
n
We must
% x 9
down?
£1
jum
J
says I
come on
Bill ski
monk
nn
ed to the roc
a I after him.
he leaped into t
heard the branches break. but no
sickening thud on the ground, as I
feared. Giving him time to get out
of my way, I followed, and also held
on the bending boughs. In a
both of us reached the grass, and be-
fore we could start to run a dozen ex-
cited men with pitehforks and guns
were around us, the light from the
windows showing us to advantage.
But luckily we had forgot to re-
move our nightgowns, ‘Quick now!"
cried Bill, with wonderful presence
of mind. ‘‘Save our folks in the
house. The robbers are murdering
| them. They chased us out the win-
dows. Smash in the front door and
save their lives. Don’t you hear
them seream?’’
{ Off rushed our captors and with
i axes they broke the door and entered
| to the rescue,
Bill and ! dropping our robes de
i nuit, took the opposite direction,
| gained the road, and laughed all the
way home, {Detroit Free Press.
Ws o——-———— _
Fast Freight Run,
ey.
he blackness and 1
trice
What is claimed to have been the
fastest long-distance freight-run ever
| made in this country was made from
Memphis to Kansas City by a special
train loaded with bananas on June
18, the speed averaging 40.4 miles an
hour for the 484 miles, and reaching
a maximum of 64 miles an hour,
which was kept up for six miles, —
[Chicago Herald.
Air- Tight Corks.
_ Oorks may be made air and water
tight by keeping them for five min-
utes under melted paraffine; they
must be kept down with a wire
screen, These corks have a perfectly
smooth surface and may be introdue-
ed and drawn out easily, and seal
perfectly. —{New York Advertiser.
London has 271 public parks,
taining 17,576 acres of ground. Some
Fhe Easiest and Quickest Way of Ac~
quiring That Accomplishment,
If at the seaside many a girl who
was neverin the salt water before
can quickly nequire this most grace
ful and servicable accomplishment
by a very simple method.
A comfortable flannel bathing suit
and a strong-armed brother or other
well are the
for this practical
swims
chief equipments
Wade the until it is
brother
your body
his
into winter
under
Hine and
to put one arm
ibout the waist place
ther hand under 3 Then
lift your feet off the bottom and lie
in the water without
Have never a bit
1 supported ;
ar
water
your chin,
ing
ari: you Aro
out of
your
ushe
in
feel
eel
l from be:
TREES AS HISTORIANS,
sons of a Century Ago.
It has been found that
transi
i}
rings of
80
‘a
he
re
tell than has usually
hat they
years that the tree
J. Keuchler, of Texas,
nade experiments and
which seem to show
that trees carry in their trunks
record of the weather conditions that
interesting
been
indicate
mat
y
1
Several trees, each more than "130
years old, were felled and the order
and relative width of the rings of
growth in their trunks were found to
agree exactly.
This fact showed that all the trees
had experienced the same stimula-
tion in certain years and the same
retardation in other years. Assume
ing that the most rrpid growth had
occurred in wet years, and the least
rapid in dry years, it was concluded
that of the 134 years covered by the
life of the trees 60 had been very
wet, 6 extremely wet, 17 average as
to the supply of moisture, 19 dry, 8
very dry and 6 extremely dry.
But when the records of rainfall,
running back as far as 1840, were
consulted, it was found that they did
not ail agree with the record of the
trees. Still it could not be denied
that the rings in the trunks told a
true story of the weather influences
which had affected the trees in suce
cessive years.
The conclusion was therefore
reached that the record of the rings
contained more than a mere index of
the annual rainfall; that it showed
what the character of the seasons
had been as to sunshine, tempera-
ture, evaporation, regularity or irreg-
ularity of the supply of moisture,
and the like ; in short, that the trees
contained, indelibly imprinted in
their trunks, more ar 100 years of
nature's history, a history which we
might competely decipher if we could
but look upon the face of nature
a tree's point of view.—{Now
|
|
MEN OF THE PRESS.
to Miss It--That Destroyed the
Charm, Etc., Ete.
WITH GLITTERING BUCCESS,
Fog (tess
per
" What's tl
ly)—For Heaven's
wat baby howling for
i
Mrs. Popper—1 just spanked him
A CHANCE TO MISS IT.
Amy--1t isn’t always safe to judge
appearances.
Maud-—~No, fell
'
Fi
really
enlly
with
own
dear: the WwW
may
[Town Topics.
i
THAT DESTROYED THE CHARM.
Mrs. Nagleigh has
suffered a blow. Bhe has
lost her hearing
Austen-—That
iv to }
flerence
pie
doesn’t make any
her. She hasn't lost
her tongue
Haverly—It makes all the differ-
ce in the world, She can’t hear
*RECAUTION.
She (whisperis
ope you haven't lost t
#0 absentminded, d
Gear
— Eh? Oh
g nervously Now,
ie
— YOU Ure
conlid
upon thi
s Linn
dir
omets
: :1
‘You ought to be ashamed to talk
that way. You'll be saying you don
believe ghosts next.
News,
i (300d
iia
SEASON ABLE.
He yeard the
And peeps
And then he eried §
what's the sos
iRsing on
2 the sly,
wagh the door,
n accents high,
in RK
f fey #3
a 353 §
wre?’
we! Detroit Free Press,
say, sister
*INS PHOTOGRAPHY.
CGoorge,”’ she said, he entered
the parlor,
Yes."
‘I am studying photography.”
“How nice! And have you taken
le asked as he sat
as
“Oh, no! 1 have only gotten as
far as high lights and——"’
She got up and turned down the
“Low light !""=[Syracuse Post.
PROVOKING.
Miss Pretty face—Have you noticed
that horrid man across the way? So
well dressed, too.
‘No: has he been staring at us?’’
“Mercy, no; he hasn't glanced
this way once.''=-{Chicago Inter
Ocean,
YE SYMPATHETIC FRIEND.
George=Jack, old boy, I'm so glad
I ran across you. Never needed your
friendship more. I'm in love with
the belle of the season, and I prom-
fsed her a sail to-day, but I had a
run of bad luek last night, and
haven't a cent left.
Jack=Too bad.
“Yes.
you know; but it’s such a pity thata
charming creature like that should
be disappointed. You have a little
money to spare, haven't you?’
“Oh, plenty. Make yourself easy,
my dear boy. Bhe shan't be disup-
pointed, 1'1l take her myself.’ {New
fork Weekly.
HIS DELICATE REPROOP,
“1 don't care !’’ exclaimed the pre«
historic woman, “‘ifit is on erooked.”’
A shadow of pain flitted across the
face of the prehistoric man,
“Dearest,” he pleaded; ‘‘say not
#0. Thou knowest not-'’
He gazed anxiously into her eyes.
‘ewbut it may be the imprint of thy
form that the archmologist will find
upon the insensate rock.”
With a new realization of the re-
sponsibilities of existence she turned
again to her mirror. {Puck
.
THE Tit TO FISD IN
“America has no standing se ay, §
believe.” suid the foreigner.
“It is clear you haven't tpent
cl! this
great country,’’ replied the native.
(Truth.
FALLS OFF,
“Migs Btrecter is learning to ride a
yele,”’
‘How is she sueceeding?”’
Oy
{Lif
. y ’ . ’y
i, she doesn tL get on very w ell.
JAC,
TRU}
Fond Mamma
1:4 wr “1 1
nim, my enna
Up-to-Dats
Ah
i
4
vi
$4 ve
y
him!
empty word
toward him.
Daughter—Love
mamma
esceribe
Have I not
113%
i i
Be { Book?
LEQU EST.
the evening,
the first who
» discoverer of
give it
yr
3
‘4
yards of
to be
the
been in vet to
wl.—{ New York
men
me
that
surrepti
two. Det
AN EXCUSE.
the
r—What reason have you for
to marry the girl
Son—1 love her,
Father—That's ne
excuse, '—{Tru
y reason; it's an
3
f1t}
Mil.
CALLED DOWN,
“I love you—I—a college boy !’
3
}
With rosy flush and dimple,
= Answereq
ii}
A fresh-man pure and simple !”’
le !
-{ Puck.
HOT.
The eye of a little Washington Miss
was attracted by the sparkle of the
dew at early morning.
“Mamma,” she said “It’s hotter’'n
I thought it was.”’
“What do you mean?’
‘Look here. The grass is all per-
gpiration.” —{ Washington Star.
Care of Children's Teeth.
Mr. R. D. Pedley, F. R. C. 8. L. D.
8., "dental surgeon to the Evelina
| Hospital for Sick Children, South-
wark, has presented to the London
County Council a report on the re.
| sults of his examination of 661 boys
at the Industrial School, Feltham,
Middlesex. He states that more than
three-fourths of them had decayed
| teeth. In the case of children, who
{ during the growth of the body, had
| not merely to maintain nutrition, it
| is surely, he says, a matter of urgen-
cy that all the organs of digestion
should be kept in a state of fune-
| tional integrity, and if, as seems to
| be the case, diseases of the digestive
| tract are increasing, itis evident that
any departure from the normal den
tition places the child and the future
adult at a disadvantage. Instead of
{ waiting until a child suffers pain,
{and thus directs attention to a dee
| eayed tooth, it is far better for both
patient and operator that the earliest
appearance of caries should be noted
and the progress prevented by a
regulated system of inspection and
prompt treatment. Under such cir
cumstances dental disease and the
necessity for painful operations pe.
come reduced to a minimum, and at
the same time the function of masti-
cation is retained in accordance with
what is now recognized as the most
beneficial practice. Five hundred
and thirty-eight boys have am
Ham 1.544 sound Sesth, Al
sthich are permanent tee uiri
filling. Th poiate the way wo Clearly
that he has no hesitation in
ing his SpimcH | tag i qualified 4 den.
al surgeon should be appoin to
the school. He also suggests that a
should be prov
a