THE INTRODUCING BORE,
The bore who doesn’t know a thing,
Bat claims to know it all;
The bore who's always chattering
About the game of ball;
The bore who sniffs, the bore who laughs
At everything one says
Their borings nothing to the calf’s
Who's bored me many days,
Me Bves to introduce a man
To every one he meets,
And like a merry rataplan
This phrase forever bests:
“This Is my good friend Mr, Dag
Doe, this is Mr, Green,
A msn I'm sure you ought to know?
He smiling stands between,
Up the street, and In the ears,
No matter where vou be,
He'll introduce you; nothing bara
His frenzied courtesy.
His butcher, Yiaker, tailorman
And men he never knew,
And men you know, s If he can,
He'll introduce to you.
Some day he'll die, and when he goes
To sheol's torrid shore,
He'll find a special fire flosvs
For every kind of bore.
And then he'll hear Old Nick himself
Sing out with ghoulish glee:
“You needn't introduce yourself,
You've long been known to me!”
—H. J.
§
ASTRANGE ADVEN TURE.
{ was acting as shipping clerk in the
office of the Liverpool and Calcutta
Steamship line at Cape Town, and,
among the helpers in the big ware- |
house were two or three fellows who
were called ‘“Half-Hots.” They were
8 mixture of white and black, but not
mulattoes. The color was more like |
that of the Chineman, and their ver-
nacular was a queer mixture of Eng-
lish and Dutch. These fellows were
as servile as slaves to one’s face, but
as revengeful as fiends behind his
back. The old clerk had been in fear
of them and had put up with their |
faults, but 1 walked them around
pretty lively from the first day, and
st the end of the first month had
plenty of cause to discharge them. I
had the power to hire and discharge
my own help, having at times as many
as twenty-five men in the sheds, and
#0 nothing was said about these three
going away. They made no protest to
me, but a Boer who as acting as my
assistant warned me that I had best
took out for myself for the next few |
weeks, as had overheard them
threatening vengeance.
he
Two days after the discharge of the
men an English ship, which had been
around to the coast and
Bay of Bengal collecting wild animals
for the Royal Museum at London, put
into Cape Town in distress,
east up
She was
leaking so badly that she had to go in-
todry dock, and she had to be lightered
of almost everything before she could
pass over the gate sill of the only dock
at her disposal. The
stored end of our big ware-
house, which was a building 200 feet
long by 100 feet wide. There was one
big African elephant and two medium-
#ized ones from India, together with
two male four or
five hyenas, several wolves, a couple
animals were
in one
lions, three tigers,
of bears, half a dozen snakes, a couple
of panthers, and a large of
monkeys. All but the elephants were
in cages, and these were placed in a
row at one end of the building, and
the elephants far enough away so that
they could not reach the cages or each
other. They seemed peacefully
clined, although strangers each
other, and the beasts and serpents had
been so shaken up at sea that they were
glad to secure rest and sleep.
It was in summer and the weather
was very hot. The warehouse was
only one story high, built of brick, and
the many windows in it were doubly
guarded to keep out robbers, Stout
iron bars ran up and down, and out.
side of them were heavy wire screens,
This enabled us to leave all windows
raised day, and night and keep the
silding ventilated. In the centre of
he building was a cupola, furnishing
further light and ventilation, and at
dhe east end a little room had been’
partitioned off for my office. This
room contained a sleeping bunk and a
sammock, and I slept here and took |
ny meals at a hotel. There was no
watchman inside the house, but one
was sutioned on the wharf outside.
At midnight of the night of which 1
sn now going to write there was »
full moon, aud the interior of the big
warehouse was almost as light as day,
{ had been asleep for an. hour ud 4
nb it phat” om Fume big ow
shint, Bo wa. missed by one fool
© a ring bolt in the floor, and stood
" sondsids to one @ ot the windows and
"He trumpeted
sut of the hammock I heard him tug.
Jing to break his chain. On that side
4 my office was a large window, and |
number
in-
to
§
Sad! 00 need to open the door to see
what was going on. I saw the Dig
fellow tugging and straining, and he
made the building shake with his
trumpeting. 1 don’t think I had been
then it struck me that the situation was
an unpleasant one.
My office was opposite one of the
big doors of the warehouse, but ninety
feet away, To reach it I must cross
the building, My first idea was to go
for help to secure the elephant, but he
had scarcely broken loose when pande-
The other
trumpet and to
and every wild
The big fel
to my end of the
swinging his trunk right
and within ten feet of my
monium reigned supreme.
to
at their chains,
beast set up an outery.
low
warehouse,
and left,
elephants began
strain
came straigl
He picked
after another, and
and he
effort.
sacks
broke
Erew Inore
Ie wasn't
the
and
with each
with the
elephants
angry
when
loose,
The watchman outside had caught the
alarm, and he came to the nearest win-
I dared not
answer him, as the elephant was cle
by, that the
| cause him
ack my frail shelter,
Having tossed the last sack high
air, the big fellow made
the warehouse for the
who were trumpeting at each other
He knocked
rush, and
dow and shouted to me.
84
sound
and I was fearful
of my voice woul to at
in
a rush down
smaller ones,
and preparing for a row.
one of them over with his
then pursued the of he fled
among the piles of freight, We had
been pretty well cleaned out by the
but had considerable
200 barrels of salt, 3500
barrels of flour,
smoked
boxes, large
goods, Ero.
and other stuff.
who was
smashed
saw both
him and spring up.
cage holding the
and snarling and
howling and roaring
before, and the rum
tention of the ¢
Dropping
for the moment,
her as
we
machinery,
bags of sugar, 500
American
hams, with perhaps fifty
and small, containing dry
ceries, boots and shoes,
about a thousand
small elephant
the lion's cage, and I plainly
of them leap ove:
on the monkeys.
Sueh a growling
no one ever heard
drew the at.
ly to the
differ.
they dove
pus
Hephants direct
their own
ences al
en.
wolf,
the cages, and in two minutes the
tire collection, ex
killed
and
cept one
in his cave, was loose
flving and big
fre
this
| a number of
room. iv hman
but
I stood
id Jet my-
that
I was
time
had arouse
they dared not open the
no show to each the
decide
p
of the
self out, and at once my
safest SY was to kes
in the darkest corner building,
ints took it
te 1 might
MN Was
high as the Hing of the ware
feet,
iled over.
iit 9x14.
and unless one of
into his head to
hope to escape i
not as
and
This
and |
would
house,
the
made
but only about nine
of it was
a platform a
knew thet some of the animals
seek this shelter if driv + that way.
All did fly to my end «
as thes
top
the building
got out of their cages, and the
by of the
leap upon the plat-
very first move made one
panthers was to
form. The other was seized by
of the tigers right before
and the fight lasted until the elephant
came to investigate.
one
my door,
Then for about five minutes every.
The
up, and taking in the situation. 1
could hear the people outside moving
about and talking in exciting tones,
but when they hailed me I dared not
reply, for the big elephant stood with-
in foar feet of my window, and was
growing restless for further destrue-
son. Te lions stood side by side on
the barrels of flour, which were piled
up about eight feet high, while the
tigers were further down on the other
sick and well on top the bags of sugar.
One panther was above me, as I have
said. while the other had skulked
among the machinery. The wolves 1
eould not see, but a big serpent was
over by the doors, and the monkeys
were aloft among the rafters. One of
the bears was crowded into a corner,
row, while the other I could not see.
The hyenas bad been skulking among
the hams, and what started the row
anew wasone of them trotting down a
wide aisle toward my office to find
safer shelter. The satter of his feet | to
aroused the big elephant and he made
a break for’ the lions who were
waving their tails and defying him to
come on. He hit the pile of flour bar
rels about in the centre, and knocked
8 lot of them down, but before he had
reached them both lions leaped to his
back, and from thence to the floor be-
hind him. This was the signal for a
terrible battle, a sort of free-for-all
fight. I could see the entire length of
an aisle thirty feet wide, and it was
in this aisle that the lions, tigers, hy-
enas and wolves fell upon each other
with such ferocity that my hair stood
en end, and the scores of people now
at the windows fell back in terror.
While the wild beasts were having it
out, the two smaller elephants began
8 row, and the big fellow came swing-
ing up the aisle In which the bams
were scattered in search of something
to vent his I drew back from
the window ufraid he me
He reached out his
trunk and felt all over the glass, which
to ama
might have pulled the roof down over
ite on,
would see
through the glass,
was a new substance him, he
my head had not the panther above me
betrayed his presence by a growl.
had better have kept The
phant uttered a shrill cry reached
quiet. ele.
and
panther
for him,
held aloft for a moment,
for him, and although the
and tore at the trunk feeling
he
and then dashed to the floor
break
was seized,
with such
foroe as to bone ia his
body.
If ever a man was scared out
, ho
that
went swinging down one aisle and up
another, before
He knocked the other two down
among the flour barrels, and then pur-
sued the they
their fight and fled before him.
every
of his
boots by an adventure Wis no more
alarmed than I was as elephant
clearing everything
him.
ceased
He
picked up ham after ham and flung
wild beasts as
them the length of the building, and a
large cogwheel belonging to an engine
bulkhead with
shatter four of the
the the second
row began to its close was thirty-five
and all the time each beast
and animal uttering his
peculiar The row
brought to a close in a peculiar man-
ner. The bears had kept clear of the
fight as long as possible, but when
finally forced into it both tackled the
big elephant as the party responsible
As they did so he
rushed full tilt at’ one of the big doors,
with him,
himself up the wharf to the main street
with one of the bears fastened to a hind
leg.
not too badly injured at once broke for
the door. One of the
of the panthers were dead in the ware
house, The other tig
through the town and were killed miles
was flung against my
{oO
From
such force as
boards. time
minutes,
WAS own
War cory. Was
for the situation,
and carried it out and took
Such of the wild beasts as were
tigers and
fers escaped
away a day or two subse
of the
instead of be
quently
Hons was dead, and the
nting up the street as
went out, ran along the wharf
aboard a
leaped
hundred yards away. One
day
Two of the five hyenas got
dag while
Not a woit
monkeys
ft by
ports, and kept themselves out of the
TOW,
Of the two small elephants one had
and next was shot in his hiding
place. oul
alive, and were killed next
under a barn
but the
secreted
was left alive, ani
serpents had climed alo
the sup
a leg broken and the other had been a
severely injured internally that he «
The t
bears,
tie o
fore morning. big one, togeth-
or with the kept right on
through the town and beyond,
they separated,
by the men who went in pursuit, while
the elephant was captured and brought
back, so generally knocked out that he
was three months getting over it.
It was six months after the adven.
sure before we learned what broughi
it about. Then ascertained that
one of the discharged “Half Hots’
took this way to be revenged om me
and the company. Standing at the
window opposite the big elephant he
had used a hollow reed to blow little
darts at him, and one of these had
struck the monster in the right eye and
made him furious.
The warchouse was a sight to behold
the next morning. Over 300 barrels
of flour had been smashed, the sugar
was scattered from end to end, dry
goods and groceries littered the floor,
and the corn could never be separated
from the sugar. The hams were about
the only things saved, and these had
been tossed to every point of the com-
pass. The all-around damage was esti-
mated at $100,000, and the man re-
sponsible for it died before he could be
hrouglhit to trial.
two
where
The bears were shot
we
Pio Iico, who was the last Mexican
Governor of California, is lving in
poverty in that State at the age of
ninety years,
-A London Woman's lub proposes
to have rooms set apart for smokers
and billiard tables.
ual who has ever had to
MONKS OF ST. BRUNO.]
VISIT TO THE FAMOUS
ASTARY,
How the Hospitable Brethren Work,
Worship and Live.
Did you ever notice what a pleasant
tion”
On such
drink
kummel,
occasions one
"” of fine
“petit verre
A
ac-
best-—1is
benedictine, or chartreuse,
little chartreuse, yellow or green,
is the
that
as if all your
cording to taste
just the
your stomach vou’ll feel
jaune
thing, and with inside
debts were paid, and you had nothing
world to worry about,
At the foot of a
feet hig ond on
monks of Grand
monntain
which
Chartreuse
quite
the
4
i. 000
h,
lve,
fathers of that order
of
It is not an easy thing
the
are placards
effect
admitted ts
except
the reverend
where a few holy
the
famous liquor,
to
manufactory, and
superintend fabrication
though obtain admittance to
there
stuck up in public places to the
that
visit
“strangers are not
the establishment, by
special permission from
father general.”
All the glories of a setting sun were
on the mountain sides, and the distant
trees and ravines were tinged in golden
the
The door was opened by
colors when 1 reached Grande
Chartreuse.
a brother,
He bade
bas ever penetrated.
My led
large in
guide me
the
descend
ACTOR
of
from
and
to the common
courtyard, centre
which two streams
the making
day a mournful sound
hall,
riage notices were
mountain, night
where pious engravings and car-
stuck the
People were eating, and
on wall
plentifully.
bearded brother was at a desk
for food and
and photo-
an old,
ready to receive orders
drink,
graphs,
Apart from its cloister the interio
liquor, rosaries
of
much,
the Grande Chartreuse is nothing
660 feet
has
but the cloister, some
long, and lighted by 110 windows,
indeed an imposing aspect. The chapel
of
Ong
is small and quite devoid of works
is divided into two
of the
art; it parts,
Chas
the other for the laical
hall of the
are ro of wooden
destined for those ux,
who are pri oRlE,
The
, in which
chapter
house we
benches and portraits of general fathers
ceiling, has no interest
week
May the priors of all the houses of the
then
connected
the little
inte d
a stone, on which is engraved the name
of the these
stones sleep those been at
On the
w ooden Crosses
Here each year in the first Ox
Chartreux meet to occupy 18elves
with spiritual affairs with
In
tery are graves each surmn
their institutions
CET
with
and
defunct, beneath
who have
the head of the establishment,
other side are
without inscriptions, mark
the last resting place of the Chartreux.
The library,
volumnes,
simple
and these
which possesses 25,000
stitution where there
of luxury.
tomy carrying, replacing, seeking doe-
umentary volumnes, books big
The refectory is a beautiful
arched room: a table at the end is re-
served for the prior of the house;
the other monks occupying tables ir
rank of priority.
little.
little vessels for wine and water are
of earthenware, Not a word is
spoken during the meal, but a brother
chants the lessons for the morning;
they only take their repast in common
on Sundays and on certain fete days.
Grande Chartreuse monks do not live
in cells, but each inmate has his own
little house, Near the door is a little
wicket gate throngh which the monk
receives his food, which is always
without meat, and visitors have like
wise to onform to this regulation.
Should the brother require aughi
else he writes down his needs and
leaves the paper at the wicket, ané
presently he finds at the same phot
what he bad asked for. There iss
gallery which in Winter months is a
prommade ground, but a little garden
in front of each honse serves for exer-
cise in Summer time.
; On the ground floor 1 saw a brother
Freing the bed was an oratory ;
ware basin and a piece of soap; the
floor was stone and the walls white-
washed,
On the wall hung a mountain staff,
|
BOLD AGAL
walk in common up the mountain side;
then they talk to their hearts’ eoplent |
and make the mountain echo with their
A little workroom furnished
with a table, two wheels in white deal
chair
pleted this monk's lodgings, and they |
by |
images |
COI-
may bo seen
The descendants of St. Bruno pride
themselves on their rigorous fidelity to
Although the
years old,
Carthusian customs. Or
der is more than 800 not a
reform has ever
and not only have they
shade of change or
been made, not
relaxed in their vigilance, but,
ger still, they
all modifies
r have obstinately
that Popes have
wtions
——
A Yankee Verdict.
After a four-day at Rutland,
Calvin M. of Hampton
has been found
#' trial
Yt.
N.Y.
Inman,
not guilty
i
fect. 1,
1888, The
tion on the evidence,
Yankee
ney, jary
consults
the verdict in oie
who
to
It was agreed that those
the prisoner guilty hold some
the right hand,
considering the
empty handed.
were
and
not
They
object in closed
those prisoner
guilty were to be
and all
were
jury and opened their hands,
The jury
out only ten minutes
Bob's Discovery.
Young Hopedul-— said if
I'd read the olsituaries of great men in
Papa, vou
the paper every day for a year you'd
give me Well, I did,
and the is up. Fond Father—
Very well, Bob, but I said you must
read intelligently and draw a lesson
from the lives of those who have won
fame and fortune. Now, what have
a gold watch
Year
reading? Y. H.—I noticed that nearly
all the great men fitted themselves for
one thing, and then got rich or famous
at something else.
Made "em Giggle.
least Woman
Me., wi
admiring herself in
There
North Berwick.
time
is at one in
wastes no
front
and she proved it last
3
of a
be looking glu,
inday
bath
by attending church and Sab-
school with her
balf ad
sinner
nnet adorned
with ozen cards which a mas-
culine had tucked in among the
trimmings a Gn or two before, prob-
them
ar, but
she wonld see
on her headgs
ood woman's mind was on Sun-
Pl s8Ons
for
got a chance to giggle.
——
school , not bonnets, when
she dressed churcu, and so the
} 1
JOO
Sunday-sd
Cats and Snakes,
A Winipauk, (
not jong ago heard s
at owner one
hrieks from his
a lady guest in the parlor of
itchfork., In the
onfl., ©
day
wife and
his house and got a |
middle of the floor, with
kittens about her, the family
and in front of her on the carpet was a
lively green snake. Theladies were on
parlor her
ant cat,
with arched backs and bristling fur,
betrayed a terror second to that
of the occupants of the The
only
piano.
that the snake was worth trying for a
banquet. The houscholder set his heel
on the reptile.
————
Helped Himself.
A few days ago a large hog belong-
ing to Leroy Hardy, of Stark, Ga.
of the
house, went into the house, and after
climbing upon a feather bed proceeded
to tear the bed and clothing into doll
rags. His hogship thought he had
found a beautiful play house, and in
his delight and playfulness tore things
up generally. When the inmates of
the house came in the floors were liter-
ally covered . with feathers, and the
festive brute ran from the house look-
ing more like one of the feathered
tribe than a fat porker,
A Stop in Time,
us Muotor- 3 hat on earth did you
top the train for?”
ow brakeman ¥hy, here's »
window that went way up {Wor touch,
wir.”
Conductor— Well, what of it, yoy
confirmed idot ?”
New brakeman-—¢ Haven't you toll
me a hundred times i 1 Sound any
loose to sto n at coos,
ry pe of accidents
Ready for
Tawking— Well,
§
Resident,
A number of boys just about the age
| When boys feel the most mischievous,
| mys the Duffalo Express, got a piece
gaspipe, filled it with sand, and
pinggaed it at the ends, leaving room
out,
done the gaspipe pre.
sented a very formidable appearance,
Land that night the | SL place «1 it at the
'door of a resident in thelr neighboss
All in the house had gone to
was left undisturbed till
The lord of the house was
it, and, after he
shock it caused
cautiously examine
he back in
warning wife and
“bomb ’
hang
disc Overy
the
10
awhile
e firet to
from
kim, he began
it. After
the yard,
laughter
went
first his
not
led it.
Presently he
to go near the
#8 he cal
returned carrying the
end of
He
clothesline, on one which he
a slip-noose, advanced toe
we trouble and
and
wife
the noose over it
hen telling his
n to the
of the yard,
fence he shut
a sudden
BORO
and daughter to go dow corner
he retreated to the back
sing over the
the rope
This was all the young
walls hing him from
able to and
when the poor man, who had suffered
graces, who were
2 distance, were stand,
an awful strain on his nerves, pulled
himself up till his nose rested on the
fence that he might see the
tesult of his desperate effort an explo-
iter far louder than he
bad expected from the bomb greeted
isn’t in the
who bv that
top of the
sion of laugl
him, and-—there a boy
neighborhood will go
bouse now,
EE
A JOB LOT.
An Ohio
tleared £3,
work,
peddier claims to have
000 out of his summer's
Mapleton, Me., points with pride to
+ local four-and-a-half-pound Irish
padato.
A stranger at an Akron hotel got
in his sleep and threw his watch
ap
wt of the window.
Hammered gold rings, with a dia-
mond or ruby, are the latest style in
men’s finger rings in London.
claims to
seme
A hunter near Wheeling
have shot eight squirrels on the
in less dan ten minutes,
The Stuart
in wn in the early
tree
successful
Lond
Exhibition
part of
Year foliowed by a Tudor
Exhibitios
J. B.
aptured
Green, of Mosherville,
Mich.,
an eel inl nill lame which
weighed six lf pounds and
or
was forty inches long.
At Pa.
ivery mails
the de.
operation
ap] for the
letter carrires,
Corry, , when roe
of
were G0
went into
there ications
Farmer Martin, of Mahoning ( ounty,
Ohio
tramp,
gave an old pair of pants to a
£18 and
valuable notes from the pockets,
Polish R soldiers in
Russian army complain that var.
moans are taken to
to receive the ministra-
tions of the Greek priests,
The country having the largest pro-
portion of cultivated land is Denmark,
Russia having the smallest. The
United Kingdom has 29 per cent. of
land tilled, against 71 untilled.
Mrs. Cynthia McPheeters, Mving
near Greencastle, Ind., is ninety years
old. On her last birthday she enter
tained a party of friends and baked
the cake that formed a portion of the
repast.
Frederick Livingston, aged eighty
eight years, and the oldest man in
Peterboro, N. H., is president of the
First National Bank in that town, and
is found daily at his post of duty.
A
The Milestone.
Men 4 Suman, & hitting erowd, we hasten,
Less ‘fol moves a summer eloud across
lu MA
TRY.
set hrm Jrho vil kis Jogend read,
Yori Ca aan 14
ust 8O tn oe Te iont.
Just 80 much of the journey done ere falls te
Tired fact eli way have bither won, and font
Jo EER nr ot
Jung ove 0 bude of wiring
IEEE Tourney dame.
Soft and glow lke a mourner's ters there falls
forgetting to remove
yan Catholic
the
ions underhand
induce them