hi ai SA HUMOROUS. WANTED TO GO FASTER.—''1 was reading in a paper yesterday,’ he said, as he halted a citizen in front of the Soldiers’ Monument, ‘that a duck could fly ninety miles an hour. Do you be- lie ve it possible?" “That is rather a strange question to ask me, sirl”? replied the other, wi ith considerable cold stiifage in his voice, “Yes, I know, but I want to find out, There are occasions when I have to leave my house in a hurry, and if a duck can make this gait, and there is no patent on it, I'm going to catch on. Perhaps you never tried to outrun a flatiron, sir. tp UxcLeE RasTus Twins.—Twin boys having been born in Uncle Rastus house, the serious question rose what naines should be given them, A counsel was called. **Dar’s one thing,” said Aunt Lizzie, “dat’s got ter be tended to, Dem boys mus' hab diffrunt ’nitials, lessen deir handkerchiefs gets mixed up.” *Dat’s so,” said Uncle Rastus, flectively, Then, after a pause, he added, *“Well, I'll tell We'll call them Edward an! 'U o 16- Ye, gene,” nsec ———— SHE SucCceEEDED Too WELL, ‘‘Nel- said the mother to her four-year- who was sitting quietly in a ‘what are Tim 3% ie, 0: d one ’ you doing?” “Drawing plied Nellie, ‘A picture?” rejoined glancing over her shoulder- a pretty one. What is it?” ‘It’s my kitty,” said Nelly.” ‘But it looks more like a tree,” “Yes, I made it so that my wouldn’t know what my right done. And I guess it don’t, a ———— A Wise COURTIER.—AD potentate once asked a group courtiers whom they thought the er man, himself or his father. he could elicit no re pls v 10 so dan a question. At jast a wily old « said: ‘*Your father, sire; for you are equal to your father respects, in this he is superior to you that he had a greater son than any you have,”” He was promoted on the a picture on my slate,’ re- the mother, i i, iq left Eastern of hi ] though ¢ ———————— ss. Tie OPPORTUNITY CAME. 00d ina doorway on Woodward Aven- the otl rainy day with an um hand. and he seemed to be Fan opportun along. She "had Le stepped one, began: “Excuse me, but —-*’ “Oh, certainly.” ghi ned, “You are very, very always remember it, 1-by nd she took the umbrella from has » and tripped away without ng back, and he turned ster of the doorway to exclaim: “There goes a £35 umbrella idi ot who has been we orell walt- 4 n s SOOT she noi i (30x "| *y v ¢ t to § 1s an ie CAREER.—*"*You dly with your elder pl: rin-spoken ng-minded mothe » head nurse © rtainly ih have daughters.” visitor the ‘Annie is likely at the hospital, Maude brigh pupil at the wrmal school, and Eunice 18 certain * & success on the But We what you are with poor ] ture he and sick- suff 18 so dreadfully with her R di tiie tO £ ot the WRL stage, ow 4 1 gong to do 3 1. : looks so th Oh, de re is a career ahead for Mil- : return ed the mother, as she passed 1 fondly through the thin, f her youngest daughter: “‘we 15 going to be a passionate 10 £1 iu 45g han hair of think poetess, " 3 she RECKLESS SHOOTING. —A that happened in Green time was the sho oting of the other night by a policeman, cop blazed away at the man and him in the elbow, the ball glancing and striking the negro in the cheek. As he spit the ball out he said: **Look heah white man, you quit dat ‘shootin’ at me; fus’ thing yun knows yuh gwinter brake some spectable pusson’s winder glass, funny ville for a negro The jot thing Some 81 ——— A Quibble—"“You a doctor? couldn’t cure a ham!" Dr. Sawbones—“And you, couldn't try a case of lard.” The Poetry of the Table. Why, you sir; you In the first place, a starched and smoothly-ironed table-cloth which, if neatly folded after each meal, will look well for several days. Then flowers and ferns in flat dishes, baskets or small vases, or else a tiny nosegay laid upon every napkin. The salt must be pure and smooth. The butter should be moulded into eriss-crossed diamonds, shells or globes, with the paddles for this purpose. A few pretty dishes will make the plainest table glow; a small bright-colored platter for pickles, horse- radish or jelly; and butter plates repre- senting green leaves are also attractive. A few pennie’'s worth of parsley or cress mingled with small seraps of white paper daintily clipped, wil cause a plain dish to assume the air of a French entree, A piatter of hash may be ornamented with an edging of toasted or fried bread ent into points; and a dish of mutton chops is much more impressive with the bones stacked as soldiers stack centre, each bone adorned with s frill of white paper. A few slices of lemon mingled with sprigs of parsley and lids of hard boiled form a pretty be more appetizing than beef, veal, FARM NOTES, MAuveELOUS VALUE oF THE COT- TON PLANT.—In his speech at the Dal- las (Tex. ) fair last October, Mr. W. H, Grady estimated the cotton crop of 1888 at eight millions of bales, which at $40 per bale of 500 pounds, or eight cents per pound, is worth the total sum of $320,000,000, But this sum does not cover the full value of our cotton crop, as Mr. Grady further demonstrated, He said: “Its seeds will yield $60,000,- 000 worth of ofl, and $40,000,000 in food for soil or beast, * * And now, under the Tompkins patent, from the stalk newspaper is to be made at two cents per pound.” So it seems that our great Southern staple is not only hold- ing itsown as a prime factor in the world’s commerce, but is increasing in importance, or at least the present plant Mr. Grady quotes Edward Atkin- Son as saying: Ye New England could grow the cotton plant without lint, it would make her richest crop, If she had monopoly of cotton lint and seed, she would control the commerce of the world.” From the above, it appears that the royal title of “king”? to the cotton plant, is not inappropriate, Just think of the seed alone being worth one hundred millions of to the south! 1 doubt not these be doubled, if the entire the Southern States should be utilized. The practice of burning ton seed for fuel in steam furnaces ny Portions of our prairie county andoned. In localities where iS scarce, steam gins are often run entirely fuel, is, or 1 A § Seed crop Oi properly in mai not wood almost ¢ Yel § by cott Many thousands of wasted by pure to sca ter and rot they do no Wis on seed bushel! negled about the If all ted and burned for cattle and the cattle’s manure saved and applied to our fields, the monetary value of the cotton seed crop would be | nhanced. In view of the great demane hrot ight about by the jute bagging monopoly for a new and ¢ ch heap : ging, we have much reason a great devel opment of the value of ton stalk bark, The tensile stre: this fibre | dl Known to cotton ers, and has at last attracted tention as a suitable material fo bagging. Let us hope y 1 +4 ' § $ anufacture into this 8, 100, st Feast vas L, being gins, the seed allowed thus fuel were fed to rood, largel tri tay Bane tO hope § + ui 80 » that & t that ere articl ay add ittering, Urposes mm to the elit 1g Cotton,” ight em £ Ki to BrinLbd A GREENHOU -AS a matt of ex ill greenhot £1 CONOInY 15¢ walls sl nhouse work. he lemp« ie, sy 2610 weathe year or two the el house wall gets } i M2 I gree greenho 1 beget 18 LO De re N THE of two ANTS 1 APIARY,— Wavs ol Line i Profess is destro ! 18 Apiary. and Bake a he le i in th nest bi-su pt fill the clay, ty h Ti ants, umnpled down © quia » L 80 it 348 ill if #1 i il Kis all the Ike VEY a $1 S Very nhammaiie, Lt mu i x posed, either quid the fire. Another way isto mi London purple with thin syrup, and ciose It ir 1 ERE) i is 1 a box with wire gauze so tha ants cau reach it i FOR GRAPE-VINES — To grape-vines to grow most vigor throw a few bones into the planting out. Opyster-shells good for the same AL but not the be Boxes cause ously when also hole are purpose, and age. Therefore don't waste any bones in pones near them, or reduce the the vines of the vegetable garden. when compared with dry corn fodder or with other feeding stuffs, produces re- sults so satisfactory as to surprise the chemist, and which chemistry cannot explain, As the result of feedi: g tests, it is very generally agreed that three tons of corn ensilage will equal in its effects as food a ton of aver- age hay, But if does not mean that a with thirty tons of hay and no ensilage, PrLaxTING CELERY,.~If planting celery this month, have in mind the fact that it is a plant ‘Which needs a great deal of moisture, Consequently choose a piece of low land which is naturally somewhat damp. If there are no appli- ances for watering, such as tanks, hose, ete,, a good location may be found bee means of a swall dump. Very good and pressed into form in a wine- ~glass, then fried in green placed in the top of eac cone. The basket of fruit—peaches, rs, ErApes or app oranges and om should bo stofully arranged and trimmed with leaves and flowers, The bowl of salad should be ornament. od with scarlet or orange flowers of the Sropaolum, their piquant flavor adding zest to the lettuce, with which they can be eaten, § do duty over a considerable extent of GROUND oats, corn and barley, with and half, make splendid feed for flesh and egg production, Cabbage is the but carrots, turnips and beets are excellent if cabbage is not at hand. Fowls may do well by feed- ing them grain and vegetables in a crude state, but a cooked and warm mess sea. soned for the morning meal will be bet ter relished and do them more good af thew raw, SCIENTIFIC. The want of a material intermediate in strength between steel and cold-blast irons has long been felt by consumers, says the Tradesman, Itoccurs in cases of hydraulic cylinders, mill gearing, trammer blocks, ete., that the best iron fails to make articles of sufficient strength without increasing the dimen- sions to an unreasonable extent, On the other hand. the high price of steel castings and their liability to contain blow-holes offer serious objections to their adoption in such cases, A counsid- eration of these facts led Williams, Arnold & Colley, Spanish Steel Works, Sheffield, to try and produce a metal which, though not quite equal to steel in strength, should nevertheless, be far stronger than the cold-blast irons made in this country, and also capable of producing an absolutely sound casting, After some years of experimenting, they have succeeded in making a ma- terial which they call ‘steel pig,” possessing some very remarkable prop. erties, As regards mechanical strength bar 2x1 inches, bLe.rings three feel apart, sustains a weight of about two tons. The strain supported by the “gray steel,” when in tension is up- l of fifteen tons per square inch, of the best cold-blast iron being | eleven tons, Castings made from the | soft, tough and quite free from blow-holes, and canbe made or ood blast pressure. The great accounts for its remarkable strength, The process adopted to pro- duce these results is to purify the best hematite iron obtainable by removing half the carbon and almost two- the silicon, thus leaving in the product only sufficient quan- {f these metaloids to render the gray when cast, sa —— H, Viandt writes value of oil of turpentin e in treats ment and prophylaxis of diphthena and be exanthomatous diseases, He states that he has never seen any of these dis- eases spread from a sick child to other members of the family when this rem- edy was employed. In many of these cases uo isolation could be attempted, #8 the nf ther was tl female nd was obl snd the isl f a 3 tent nearly thirds finished tity § Ii ty of metal concerning the the ie OnLy i ged to cure of well, continually orth from one 1 was to pour Irops of to the from xture carbolic m of a urpe ntine and water, a slow fire, Was « Gor ich was 80 Ll at wh y Kept immer air of ig Over Lhe HICK tt : the room : the He cls favoral uence pon the ext datio of diy ugh it is by no me: AS 3 Sn and $1 yg no th exc ipreghnaled Ww wo substance * + i means im n le i ——— A newly patented tpye writer dispen on and 1s great other ways, With the the roller or platen and mach is entirely wel only sixteen and a Phere are only nine used in its construction. Align- is secured at the point of § inste ad of depending 1 justinent or is in the form a A ring around the type-bar bas ket its top. Against this pad the face e types rests at all times except f printing. The pad 1 the inked rib i plion es it sin piilied exXoet the fh in of the i+ wit yEL LH Key 8 al, § i ine of net gs $5] pounas, springs nent ring. ng : tot accurate ad The the . ink of ug at of when in the act of is said to contain ink enough for ten to twenty thes as much writing as a rib- bon, The type-carrier and the guide carry complimentary bevels, which serve to preserve the alignment of the type. he height of the face of the type from the beveled shoulders is not exactly the same in all cases, but varied to secure uniform impression with a uniform touch on the keys, The types can b removed or re- placed, and the carriage with the platen roll can be readily removed, thus allow- ing of the use of two or more carriages, ———— The vapor of tobacco juice has been tested with success as an insect de- stroyer In hot houses, The tobacco is is dish over a fire or flame of a lamp in the conservatory. Delicate plants are not injured as by tobacco smoke; the | HOUSEHOLD Ruvpans JAM. — Wash, peel and cut the rhubarb into two-inch lengths, and, having weighed, put i{ into the presery- ing kettle and boil it for a quarter of an hoar. Then put in three-quarters of a pound of lump sugar to each pound of fruit, and boil the jam until it will set firm. The jam can be flavored with almonds; to each pound allow four bit- ter almonds blanched and split; put them in with the sugar. For lemon or Seville orange flavor, shred the peel very finely of one large one to two pounds of fruit, tie it loosely but secure- ly in muslin, and put it in with the fruit before the sugar. Let it continue to boil in the jam for a quarter of an hour after the sugar is added, then take out and throw it away. It is not right, a8 801ne recipes say, to put shred orange or lemon peel with the fruit and boil it as for marmalade, because it thus be- comes very hard, and instead of being a good addition spoils the jam, r————— CHICKEN BAKED ix Rice.—Cut a chicken into neat joints after which season each piece with salt, pepper and a little pounded mace, Put some slices “Waar if I were one of those hus. bands, my dear, who got up cross in | the morning, and bang things about, and scold like anything just because the coffee is cold?” “John,” responded the would make it hot for you,” John is stili wondering whether she | meant him or the coffee, | wife, “I i —— Poer—*Have you read my verses?’ | Editor—*Yes, Mr, them very mue h.’ “How much are they worth?” ‘About twenty-five dollars,’ “Well, here's a check for the amount and I hope you will publish them soon.’ | ————— “WiLrLie is like a piece of flannel,” said Tommy, as he watched his small | brother cuddled up in the bath tub, “Why do you say that, Tommy?" “Because he shrinks when he washed,” ———————— Forced to Leave Home, Over 00 people forced to leave their homes yesterday to call for a free trial pack- | wge of Lane's Family Medicine. if your blood is bad, your liver and kidneys out of order, if yu are constipated and have headache and an were sli of good bacon at the bottom of yo! ur baking dish, lige the chicken upor strewing over it a finely minced, um sized onion. Now, pour a ci of veal stock over it and entirely cover 11 with bolled rice, Put a cover the dish, put in a moderate oven bake for one hour. s—— HERRIES, — cherries; boil of gar and CoOMPOTE 0} quart of early red quarters of a pound drop i: Jet stand fin i the fire: let boll gently until herries with a skim- a dish: add a small s to the syrup pour over ti arly cold. COMPOTE RASPBERRIES, half a pint of raspberris hal Curra f BUBAT and v &1 candies; the ie to take out lay them in lear; mer; until ve when ne: ry 3 1 3 cherries {1} nis, Ove ounees oO f a f i ' 3 : « O53 i 1H » wales ater togeth f » fruit caref nmer tor five : raspberries eT Ali CONSERVE Pre pare the Mora HOLASSON, oriening gh water, oO table SIAr, and 1% roll. Bake ina q ne sola ginger, EE K Porovers.—Two teacups of sweet milk, two teacups of sifted flour, butter size of a walnut, two eggs, table- spoonful of sugar, a little salt; beat the whites to a stiff froth: bake in hot gem pans twenty minutes, Oh Pre Crust.—Omne cup of quart of flour, a pinch of salt, two tea- spoonfuls of baking powder. Mix all together, handling as little as possible; Jay on ice in a cold place for several hours before using. Cs lard, one Ice. Make a i | Cunrast WATER and slugs are effectually disposed of, One quart of tobacco juice, evaporated into a house containing 350 cubic feet, suffices, Ss ——— (end of a platinum wire or glass rod, | the mass, and the formation Is much ! more rapid than that of either of the mt Msi Card telegrams are much in use in Paris, There are two Kinds of them lone like the ordinary postal card in form and color, and the other blue and capable of being so closed as to conceal the writing, They are each large enough to contain a message of fully sixty words, When a card is dropped into the card telegram box of the near- est telegram office the official in charge picks it up and has it transmitted through one of the pneumatic tubes which extend all over the city, thus insuring its delivery at that place to which 1t is addressed in less than balf an hour from the time it was “posted.” Af p——— Two cases have been reported to an English medical society in which the electro-magnet has been successfully used for removing pieces of iron from the eye, Without the magnet it is thought that the sight of the injured eye must have been lost in each case, AI Built-up wood, like that employed for a good many back in bottom- ing chairs, al competes with can vas for the purposes of the artist and with binders’ board for book covers, Its hightness, almost en ire absence of cleavage lines, and nonsliability to split are among its commendable features i of sugar with a quart of water till it is | quite clear, add this to a pint of red | currant julee to which has been added a few raspberries. Strain all through a hair sieve and freeze. ToMAaT0 Sovp.—One small beef bone, two quarts of water, salt to sea- gon. boil about two hours, then add one | can of tomatoes, boll [ifeen minutes, add pepper and strain, Climate for Consamptives. The several climates of Florida, Colorado and | California have each been much prescribed for | sufferers from lung disease, yet thousands of the | A far more reliable remedy is to be h the land, at home: a remedy druggists, under the manu. facturers’ positive guaranice hat, in time and given a fair trial, it will effect a cure, or money Jad for it will be promptly re- turned. We refer to that world-famed reinedy | for consumption (or lungscrofula) known as Dr. Pierce's Golden Medieal Discovery. It | the only remedy for this terrible disease possessed of such superior curative jloperties as to warrant its manufacturers in selling it un der a guarantee, Don’t hawk and blow, and spit, ht us Dr, Sage’s ( atarrh Remedy. Of druggists | every drug store in that can be used which is sold, b and one Crry MAN-*1 should think you would find life very dreary.” Villager-~“Here? I tell you this is a pretty lively place for its size.” **I should not suppose, from the looks of things, that anything ever happened »”"” “That's where you are mistaken, Why, it ain’t two weeks since we had an eclipse of the moon,”’ A — Careful summaries of the crop outs look make by the San Francisco Chron icle show that, unless the north wind blows at the critical time, this will be a bonanza year for grain and fruit in California Plissed toilets are a pretty novel and are simple and easily hed Only tine; thin stuffs lend themealves to this wrrangement, however ansightly complexion, doen't fall to call on any , | iruggist to-day for a frecs sample of this grand emedy. The ladies praise it. Everyone kes Lasrgesize package 50 cents » of Morocco it with the wi vierg Lai iv = 5 A Fa air. Tria iy reds great mee bot io know tiie, taken 2 ling to di of sonable person tl it « dicinal merit s will accompli We do 1 A clan that every ih 4 miracy Ariy every bo rections, does produce posit 1 “Y was run down from close app on 30 but was told I dosed ine, ete, 5 4 I de- and am now B. Bramisn, had rn Wa i Qu whi Hood's Ba ng and cheerfu Ww feelin #2 str ing Street, New York Ci Hood 8 sarsaparilla spared only wis 8. Vi { O01 & CO 1. 4 Vi Ana '6 O Doses One Dollar LEND YOUREAR TO WIIAYT WE HAVE TO SAY. BEST LOW-PRICED GERMAN DICTIONARY 1OW PRICE 0} Only $1.00, Postpaid, 650 Pages, 1224 Pages. STEAL A TF Ha NADL Frazer AXxic Grease, Frazer Axi¢ cheaper than any other, at {| Ask vyoRmr d The Greases enler | t. and ana ce ——— ons wan't have oF 1 Won L Dave 10 « Keep Rupture curegnaranteed by J. B. Ma 3 Arch Phil’a, ra ratio Or 4e- {rom t ested by ¥ fer, A 8¢ at Ot i y GW Misiniess, at Of cures after send for 1 paper aj y Wild [leary FERIENE, foe, BI1 Ar IgE ry it Jiseaned, Nerv or -—— ¢ Faroe Islands there i8 A super- Tansll's Punch i 1 ’ 3 a Industry needs not wish, will die and 1 fasting. Ts i ADWAY’ PILLS Tie Great Liver and Stomach Remedy | por the care of all disorders of the STOM. ACH, LIVER, BOWELS, KIDNEYS, BLADDER. NERVOUS IMSEASES, LOSS OF APPETITE, HEADACHE, CONSTI- PATION, COSTIVENESS, INDIGESTION, I BILIOUSNESS, FEVER, INFLAMMA. | TION of the BOWELS, FILES anda ali de- | rangements of the Interna! Viscera, Pure. | 1y Vegetable, containing no mercury, min- erals, or deleterious drags. PERFECT DIGESTION will be scoom. plished by taking BRADWAY'S PILLS, By ro doing D yspepsia, FICK HEADACHE, FOUL STOMACH, BILIOUSNESS, will be avoldaed, and the food that is eaten contribute Its nourishing properties for the supper: of the naiural waste of the body, SOLD BY ALL DRUG. GISTS, Price 280. per box, or will be sent by mall, on receipt of price, 5 boxes for Une oliar, RADWAY & ©0O,, 32 Warren Sg, New York, “Since BE GREE EE husinegs, jl LR w ihe fu I ands Va.’ ye Be be nFJe PENSIONS zee Ps . gw 1 y y : lives upon ho who have used Plso's Cure for Consumption say itis BERT OF Alls Sold everywhere, Bo. We 14 Chestnut Street ADELPHIA. TTY ISS EE OF LATEST IMPROVED HORSE POWER Machines for THRESHING & CLEANING Grails, ss » Mackines for SAWING WOOD - with Clresiar sad Cross Cut Drag Saws. ® regurding EASYDRAFY, DURABIL YEQUAKTITY OF WORK Pome vm A.W. GRAY'S SONS, PaTsnighs s»D S01 MAFUVACTURERS, BIDDLETOWYN SPRINGS, ™ FRAZER .. AXLE GREASE. i Pest in the World uly by the Praser Lubrios tor Co. 81 Chloago, § NER Louis. Sold everywhere Y prescribe and tally ep. dorse Big €3 as Lhe only specific for the ceriain cure of this disense GC. H.INGRAHAM NM D., Ammsterdam, N.Y. We have sold Big GG for many years, and ii bas given the best of salle faction DR DYCHE& CO Chionge, 11 $1.00. Bold by Droggista REVOLVER hase one of the ose ted BMITH & WESSON arms. The Soest small rm ever manufactured and the ret of all experia mufactured in oalibres 2, * an or double action, Rafety Oonstrocied entirely of best qual. ey wrought steel, carefully inspected for work smanship and stock, they sre unrivaled for Gules and mecuracy. Do not be deceived wt irom imitations wh Se and are no iv umrelabie, but The AL A Bevaivers are al rar ped Peis with firm's name, address an datos of Cen 1 and are guarantecd perfect in every detail In i ist upos having the genuine article, and if i cannot supply you an order sent to address will recive prompt and careful Rpg Descriptive and prices form | Slioilom, ~§f ITH & WESSON, | Menten tir vaper Sprimghield, Mansy JONES F HT. “WANTED: ONE AGENT FOR THISCOUNTY, To take orders Sof elisrgl SMALL PROTO. GRAPHS ote ng LIFE-SIZECRAYON PICTURES: International Pablishing & Printing Cos 528 MARKET ST, PHILADLPHIA OR, 4.8. HOBENSAGK, 206 N. SECOND STREET, PHILADELPHIA, PA. Jeading speciatis, in Youthful Sond for Young Be . M., mies oes is