“Herro, Fred, you seem awfully put out. What happened, eh?” ©, 1 was fearfully tantalized a little while ago. 1 tied on a pretty girl's bonnet. The ribbons got tangled; her eyes sparkled, her lips wero cherry ripe, | and so close to mive that her breath | swept my cheek.” “You were dying to kiss her, eh?” “Phat was just it.” The anmsthietio effect of rapid breaths Ing—like that of inhaling nitrious oxide ~i8 ascribed by Dr. Bonwillto the ine finence of the surplus of oxygen thus forced npon the lungs. Ina variety of oases remarkable insensibility to pain, without appreciable loss of conscions- ness, has been produced, in one in. stance a boy of eleven, after breathing rapidly about 8 minute, having had | | it it. four permanent molars removed, the | ‘Well, why didn’t you operation being painless and lasting | “For a very simple reason, twenty seconds. | band was standing by. kiss her?’ | Her hus- Taz Right Reverend Bishop Gilmonr, | Oleveland, Ohio, is one of the many eminent church dignitaries who have | publicly added their emphatic endorse- | ment to the wonderful efficacy of St. Jacob's Oil in cases of rheumatism and | other painful ailments, tl - In these days we fight for ideas, and | newspapers are our fortresses. — i “Dip your story win the prize?” “No, but it came near winning it farlod only in one stipulation.” «And what was that?” «It was to have made the editor's | hair stand on end.” “Oh, 1 see. enough,” “Yes, it was." “Then why didn’t it make the editor's hair stand on end?” “He hadn't any. headed ” It | It wasn’t exciting Ery's Oxeax Bana is the most effeot- ive, convenient and agreeable catarrh remedy I ever used, and I have tried | them all,.—O. B. Cook, Henning, Liau- | derdale Co., Tenn, rel A A Lame Pack 1s & Torment. It is usually ascribed either to a strain or to rheumatism. Nine times out of ten it is kidney disease. Be wise in time, take He was bsld- So many delightful women are late in | loving, so many are true to some buried love, so many are single from choice | and from noneglect of the stronger sex, who have the asking of the question, that to them should be given all the Huxt's [Kidney and Livet] Remepy for | your lame back and avoid the dangers of | which it is the warning. dignity which is supposed to accrue to the married. “It takes a superior | | woman to be an old maid,” said Miss Always in the House, Sedgwick, roCKVILLE, CT., May 24, 1883. «gy hen troubled with kidney complaints Hoxt's [Kidney and Liver] REMEDY re- Yieves every time. [always keep it in the | house.” —J. H. Ryan, Supt of the Ameri- can Mills, Diseases cf the kidneys and bladder are yery prevalent among men past middle age, sod those most difficult diseases to cure | re on the increases. HUN 1's [Kidney and iver] REMEDY has long been known to be most successful in the tare of these dis. eases. ‘Never known 0 fail." A quesTiox of the age: The President | of the Assizes Court, questioning lady witness— Your age, madam? The lady (in a low yoice)—Twenty-two. Presi- | dent—Thirty-two, you say, madam? The lady (qmekly)—No, sir; twenty-seven, | A cextUny of progress has not pro- | eve Ee and Hay Fever, —— Moderation is the silken string run- ping through all virtues. applied with the finger. It gives im- | mediate relief and cures the worst cases, | Price 50 cents, At-druggists, 60 cents f| by mail. Ely Bros,, Owego, N, Y. of tt A Novel Advertsing scheme, It has remained for Woolrich & Co., Palmer, Mass.,, manufacturers of Ridges | Food, to get up the latest and most striking advertising scheme, which they have just at on the road. It is in the shape of a oyal Balvo sociable Tricycle, on Ww hich V. H. Woolrich and W. H. Higgins are to take an extended trip westward. Attached to the machine is a wicker luggage carrier | for their personal eflects and a qu antity of advertising material, which they wili have shipped to them at different points along the road. A large nmbreila has also been rigged to protect them from the sun on ex- | tra hot days. The riders have bias k Jersey suits, and black helmets with “Ridge's Food Co,” in gilt letters on the front. The larger towns only will be visited, circulars, tin spoons, pamphlets, &c., bear i vertisement of the company This is the first thing of the kind to on the road, and cannot fail tention. i —— He that sips of many arts drinks of | none, eee taoe— Solid Chunks of Wisdom, Taz only answer to true test of all work, is the result snd | when Carboline restores the hair we | know that it is the best restorer, who thinks he can. ——— If vouwantado 3’ (A ULIDE, Associated Fanciers 100 engravings, colored plate. 237 8. Eighth 8¢., Phila A AIAG Obstacles are but the rungs that form the ladder of success, 10 Imporiant, When you visit or jesve New York City, save | | baggage sxpressage and $3 carriage lire, snd stop & Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Cen { tral Depot. Don't work your horses to death with | 0 slegant rooms, fitted up at a cost of one 4 s a Sma mi Yop { milion dollars, fu pd upwards T leg eo: the is the oniy re- > pert pace axle Erense; Be E Fase k ir ’ will | 987. European Pian, Hievator. HResiaarant le make, se it once, and you Will | gupplied with the best, have no other, rents nt AA —— Lateraturs is the immortality gpeech. of n——— Frazer Axle Grease. Horse cars, stages and | Silence does not always mark wisdom. better for leas money ai ihe Grand Union Hotel than at any other first-class hotel In the SIV. A strong body and a spotless name is Taz pure, sweetest and best Cod Liver Ol in the | | no mean heritage id, eanafsctured from fresh, heathy livers upon seashore. itis absoiniely baveonos taken 18 prefer 8 have decided iteaperior 10 sn market Made by Caswell, Hazan s——— A A — Better be a giant on the floor, than a pigmy on a pedestal, Every OraGax or tag Booy demands ! sustenance and support from the sto- | mach. If the stomach cannot supply | the ailments required, the whole sys- : tem languishes. To rouse and regulate this great supplyiag organ, when en- feebled or disordered, there is no pre- paration at present known that will compare with Dz. WarLxen's VINEGAR Brrrees. pure and sweet. Patisnlie {ito all others Pare of the other ofls in & Co, New York. -. 4 St. Bernard Vegetable Pills. * WARRANTED PUaslyY VEGETABLE The best cure for Liver and Hilivus Compiaints, Costivensts, Headache, Dizmness and Dyspepsia. As a r bave mo equal. No famill puts box of the Bernard Vege is in the boupe, Price 5 oomts sf Drugwists, or by os rpadl, Samples sent FREE. Address EUSTARDTER & CO. srcer SL, New York. JOSTEITERg «Tuomas, you have disobeyed your | old grandfather,” “No I didn't, ma.” “Yen you did. Have you not been in swimming?” : “Yes, ma.” : “Didn't I hear him say fo you not to go in swimming?” “Oh, he didn’t tell us that; he only came out and said: ‘Boys, 1 wouldn't go in swimming,’ and 1 shouldn't think he would, an old rheumaticky man like him; but he didn’t say nothin’ about onr going in swimming." isnt A A ae “Waar makes you look so down in de monf,” asked Uncle Moses of Jim | Webster,” “My wife done broke anudder plate dis mawning.” “Dat’s nuffin, De plate don’t cost ye more den a dime, Dat don’ hart much.” “Hit don't burt! I reckon yer don't know dst hit’s my head she bursts de’ dishes on.” “Yes, dat's rough on de crockery.” Cmiosao Box—*Bay, mom, the man is here with the ton of coal and there's no place to damp it” hieago M “Well, just fake that old shoe of mine out and have him dump the coal in it.” Hosteiter's Stomach Bitters, as a specifo fof in. | digestion, stands alone. When the resources of | the pharmacopa a have been exhausted, without, i at least, doing wore than mitigating ine com- | Jats, a course of this wholesome stomachic “ef | ects a perfect and permanent cure. In all cases | of dyspepsia the liver is mote or lens a and upon this important gland the Bitters act with | regular distinctness, regulating and invigorating | every secretive and assimilaiing or on which | bodily ead mental health depend. For sale by all | Druggists and Dealers generally. ASkin of Heanty Ian y Vorever, DLT. FELIX GOU BAUS Beautifier. Cream, or Magical sg jental No other coametic will doit. Every man has just as much vanity as be wants understanding. snes ARIS If afflicted with sore ayes uss Dr Isaac Thompson's Eye W ater. Druggista sell it. 25 | as Beantifies the Skin. Furifies as well Freckles, Pimples, Salt Rheum cured. Ad's Dr. M. Hutchinson, 110 Clark 8t., Chicago, TL ——— AD IIR URE 3 Rheumatism, Neura gia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache, Sore Throat, Swellings. Sprains, Bruises, Barns, Sealds, Frost Bites, AND ALL OTHER BODILY PAIRS AND ACHES Bold by Druggists and Dealers ever where, Fifty Cents s bottle, Directions {0 11 Languages, THE CHARLES A. VOGELER C0, (Basosasers ts A. TOGELER 8 00.) Baltimore Ma, UC. 5A Only Temperance Bitters Khnowi, Grateful Thousands proclaim Vinssas Invigorant that over sustained the sinking system. Pinde from California roots and herbs, free from Alcoholic Btimulants A Purgative This Bitters cures Female Complaints, Inflammatory and Chronic Rheumntism, A Intermittent Fe- ndigestion, Headache, Coughs, Tighiness of the Dyspepsia or § Bitious Attacks, Paipitation of the Heart, Puou- monia, and Pain in the Feglous of the Kidneys, are cured by the use of the Billera For Skin Diseases, Eruptions Bolls, diseases of the Skin of whatever name Of Ba- systom in a short time by the use of the Bitters. it invigorates the Stomach, aod siim- efficiency in cleansing the [mparting pew life or to the whole system orsom can take the Bitters and remain unwell, and vi No and other Worms, ars removed from the system Cleanse the Vitiated Hiood whenever your feelings will tell you when. Keep pure, and the heallh of the system will follow, In conclusion : Give the Bitters atrial. It will speak for itaslf, One bolle will prove & bets ter guarantee 3¢ its merits than a lengthy od veriiscment, i. 3. McDonald Drug Co,, Proprietors, tan Francisco, Osl., and 8 Sh 88 Weakington #1. Cor, Chariton BL, New York, 30ld by all Dealers and Druggists. Narrow Escape. * RoOuESTER, June 1,1882 “Ten Years ago | was attacked with the most Intense and deathly pains io my back and we ARTY, Extending to the end of my toes and to my brain “Which made me delirious! “From agony I] “It took three men to hold me on my bed at tunes] . 0. “The Doctors tried in vain to relieve ins, | but to no purpose, Morphine and other opiates! “Had no effect! “After two months 1 {diel}! | “When my wife heard a neighbor tell what Hop Bitters had | done for her, she at once got and gave Ime | some. The first dose eased my brain and soemned to go hunting through my system for the pain. { The second dose essed me 80 mune | two hours, somethin { months, Deforel hac well and st work as hard as any man could, for over three weeks; but | worked 100 hard ior my | strength, andlaking a hard cold, 1 was taken with | the most acute and painful rheumatism su | through my system that ¢ver was Known. #] called the doctors again and aller several war given up 10 h that I slept 1 bad not done for 1wWo as they sald, met a friend and old Lim oy case, and he said Hop Bitters had cured him and would | cure me. 1 puohed st him, bul he was 80 earnest 1 was induced 10 use them again. In less than four weeks | threw Away my crutches and went to work lightly and kept on | using the billers for five weeks, until I became as well as any man living, and have beea 50 for six years since, { It has also cured my wife, who had been | sick for years; and has kept her and my | children welland healthy with | to three bottles per year. There is no need to be sick at all if these bitters are used. J. J. Berk, Ex-Bupervisor. “That poor invalid wife, “Or daughter 11 1] “Can be made the picture of healt] “with a few bottles « Bister, Mother, | E@TNone genuine wil | Hopson the white label, ous staff with “Hop” or i green PoBG - Tr Dale. Ixperexpest Eprron--*‘Have you sent the President a copy of yesterday's | paper containivg my editorial making him a Washington ur ility and a | Jackson in energy?” Clerk—"Yes,- sir, night.” “Well, I've got one in to-day giving him bail Columbin, Don't send that” no Mailed it —————— | ties suspect that he had murdered a | man and put his body at the bottom of the well, and took things easy at the jail while they dug his well out for him; he now talks of suing the town for false imprisonment, “Om, youn can laugh!” exclaimed | Fenderson, “bat perhaps I'm not so | great a fool as 1 seem to be.” "As for | that Fendy,” replied rogg, “we all know you are not, 1t would be smply impossible,” Waar is wanted is a lock with » key- hole that ean be opened by simply winking at it when the male head of | the house comes home snd finds that | incorrigible aperture making 500 revo lutions a minute, remedy, but to no avail She was also afffieled with a pe teal nervous headaches, sometimes followed by an intermittent Tover, ao that her life became a burden to her. Finally | determined to BES file commenced goven weeks age. Afler third bottle the inflammation disappeared, and sore spots Seiad up and turned white and scaly, and Soally she braked thems off in a8 tm " secniding pare salt She fs now taking the sixth bot tie avery appearance of the disease is # and her ter headaches have disappeared and sheen, the only good health ar bottle of 5. 8 5 fs worth 8 thousand times its w tin £4 Sols ¥ RADLEY Detrott, Mich, May 16, 1988 o Griewoid fe, For sale by all druggies. HE SWIVT SPECIFIC OO. ; §, Alias A PR a ampies of Dr, nn Ww. R ad nCelebrated ms Relief sent free to all who apply. 1% is also an 6X cellent reme*y for O Colds and Catarrh, 800. $1.00 packages seni by wall A. ETHRIDGE, AXD Manufacturer and tor, Rome, os PENNYROYAL CH ESTER'S ENGLISH" . The . or i } — A Lovely Complexion, “What a lovely complexion,” Lear Persons say. “f wonder what she | does for 117" In every case the purity and | real loveliness of the complexion depends upon the blood. Those wo. have sallow, blotchy faces make thelr skin and healthy by Pierce's “Golden we often smooth taking enough of Medical Discovery’ to Two Irishmen, fresh from Castle Gar- den, were strolling through the city, when they came opposite a dead wall profusely decorated with election pos. ters, of loeal cundidates, After scruti- nizing the names for awhile, one of the new arrivals turned to his companion and remarked: ‘‘Begorrab, Moike, it | doesn’t seem as if we'd crassed the say | at all.” | Tae dymg man faltered: “1 wish" — | he murmured; and the weeping mem- | bers of the family who were about his | bedside bent down more closely to eateh | his last desire, *I wish,” he said again; | the words coming slowly and with diffi. | enlty—*‘1 wish I sould be gpared and | strength given me for one brief helf- | hour, and if I dide’t just wallop that | fiend who is playing that hand-organ | ont on our curbstone, I'd give up, and die willingly.” Mg. Pauuer (great artist)—‘ Yes, I have decided on a subject for my next exhibition picture, It is to be a battle piece ” Friend— ‘You have seen suppose?” “Oh! no; i i i : battles, I 1 never saw a battle.” ter to wait until you can see one?” “Hardly. battles, but I couldn't paint through a medium.” ——————— | adelphia ghe returned | that one of the monkeye spoke to her. A girl who can’t distingnizh | few lessons in natural history. The monkey is the most but doesn’t Combines, in & manner peenliar to ftself, the | best bleod-purifying and strengthening reme- | dies of the vegetable kingdom, You will find | this wonderful remedy effective where other medicines have falled. Try it It wil | purify your bigod, reguials digestion, and give new life and vigor to the entire body. “ flood's Sarsapariils did me greal good. 1 was tired out from ove rwork, and 1t toned we up.” Mns. G. F sramoxs, Coboes, N. ¥. w § suffered three years from blood poison. 1 took Hood's Sarsaparilla and think I am Mus. M. J. Davis, Brockport, N. X. Purifies the Blood Hood's Sarsaparilia Is three peonliad 4 ist, remedial ag : 24, the proportion, 34, the grooeas f £ active medicinal quali e result is a medicine of unusual sire hi. eflecting cures b rio unknown. g additional evidence. nes Up mY sysien LTT LS a A y Tie, — . * THORPSOX, now. he Wit | cured.” characterized UY the combination of the “ Hood's Sarss purifies my Llc to make r of Des Mase. “ Hood's Sarsaparilia besis all others, and fs worth its weight in gold.” 1. BARRINGTON, 130 Baok Streel, New York City. Hood's Sarsaparilla 1d by all druggists. $1; six for §5. Made only by C. 1. HOOD & ©0., Lowell, Mass. 100 Doses One Dollar. 429 ds, Lowell EE a camm——— Never excuse a Wrong action by say- ing some one else does the same thing. mes 5555574555 The Poor Little Ones, | We often ses children with red eruptions | on face and bands, rough, scaly skin, and | often sores on the bead, These things in- | dicate a depraved condition of the blood. | In the growing period, children have need | of pure blood which to build up strong | and healthy bodies. If Dr. Berce's “Gol. | den Medical Discovery” is given, the blood is pu of ils bad elements, and the | child's development will be healthy, and | as it should be, Scrofulous affections, rickets, feversores, hip-joint disease or | to result from neglect and lack of proper at- i tention in such cases. The brightest thoughts sometimes come from the dullest looking men. Mild, soothing, and healing is Dr. Bage's Catarrh Remedy. ramen i ——— | Speaking about dust explosions, = | case from Germany is worthy of notice, 3 | bu | oa | part of the off the mill and broke | almodt all the windows. There can be {no doubt that the majority of dust | explosions are, like mine disasters, due | to open lights, and as this danger oan | be practically avoided by the uso of the | incandescent electric lights, there really ly, as those establishments wh used it express themselves in its favor, No matter how carefully re guarded, an absolute safely, aslong as the globes are intact, is offered only t lamps, where the fib if i HF | § i 8 EE tel iy i i i ki | is g 8 f i f g BF i | ! 2 g } 2 i : : A phymcian of large praciice says of Ridges Food “{ aan say of this preparation of food FEVER FAILED Ine, oF falied fo METS stricily pooording © my directions. | pure, there nead bo very Lille pininie; and to this that 1 sac never yet lost 8 child with any form cholera infantum.” “A BASSAM ROOT. fast India Jongghs, ore Throat, Old yn the Head | Fatia Pow sd, Bie per package UNE i postpaad. ¥. 0 MANSFIELD, New lave Pots Rastness Col rege, Philsdeliphis only $46 Situstions furaished, Write for aire Hinks, Write for Tull particuiare. S i 5 HISTORICAL PUB. CO. Phila, F's TO PHYSICIANS! invite yom stenting 15 oar new, lean und 00h venient appllostion of the principle of counters frritation ss shown by ont MEDICATED BODY BANDS. » Highly imdoreed prorpinent wens bers « f Lig Pro fomsion, for the CURE of Drapepein, Rheuine tama, Mm wert . A . — tERIALY or somratesdon: 18 ents for THE W ORLD'S WON. sinful and Difffen ensirnaiion, Fleurisy Pains in the Side. | and Kidneys, Excellent for Cholern | warn je apd checking discharges. Sup. ing the Pal 0 you or your pac ents through Drug stores, or mail on of 81. send forcirculsre and testi TR Ne Tey WY oes AR PATENTS fis 0 maw, Patent Lawyer, Washiagton, D. OC. R. U. AWARE THAT Lorillard's Climax Plog EI bparing a vod tin tag; that Loriliand's Rowe Leaf fine cut; thet Lariiland’s avy Clippings, and that Lorillard’s souffle, are Saree pi 2 en quality ¢ considered ? , Sen 4 stamp for iL. Biwoe AX i Copyrighted. Yor all disorders of the Blood, use : er's 8S ie ce Ac Re RAS EADWL ® ¢ ¢RELIE™ A CUBE YOR ALL SUMMER COMPLAIN Nn half a cure CHAMPS VOMIT A teaspoon ty tunnier afew moments STOMACH, NAUER BURN, NERVOUSN ‘ SICK HEADACHE, DIAK CHOLERA MOREUS, AND ALL INTERSAL PAISE CHOLERA’ The HEADY KH terrible epidemic; every Case RADWAY'’S READY RELIEF MALARIA IN ITS VARIOLS FORLKES, YEVER AND AGLE There 18 DOL B TEAL &gYLL iD i that will cure Fever and Ague alu rious, Pllious, asd other few | RADWAY'S FILLE) 80 quickly te | READY RELIEF. | RADWAY'S READY KELMEF | | KZVERY PAIN, TOOTHACHE i { wr LIEY is sino aepecide In f aeed ir time, Wi BeVE 1 ws word a | BOIATICA, LUMBAGO MATISM, SWELLING t SPRAINS, BRUISES, 1) i CHEST 0} The application of the } or paris where he § | ford instant case & the firet ard is THE * aq YE Sarsaparillian Resolvent. The Creat Blood Purifier, | POR THE CURE OF ALL CHRONIC DI | Chromite Bheumatiom, Bera! ois, g. Hackl ough CRLoeT By philiti Dyepepeia, mors, Pimple f3. ng. Dry Cough, girte, Baeeds Progr, W (omy v of ng of Waler & ' | Bladder, liver Ce ; | Dr. Radway's i A | a remedy OOIn po {| dinary medical proper | peal. repair and IBVIgOTas | wasted body LEBARAYT | WENT ID Hs Geslment abd cure { | BOLD BY ALL DRUGGIRTS T EXUA0r purify, wn and PERMA Cop the proken-a2 HAVE Bi DR. RADWAY'S REGULATING PIL * | 4 IEGY, TF CORIOS, pRIge and srengihen i, 107 ibe cure of A GiSOT IER Liver. Bowen, BiCneys, Biad we of Appetite, B sation, Costiveness, IDAgerion, msness, Fever, Infsmmetion of L, An Re derangemneris of the In Pare, y vegelable, oonlalning no | mereary, minerals, of deielenions CIOs Price, 20 cents per box. UY a OrUgEisI READ “FALSE AND TRUE" Send a jetter samp to DE HAL WAY & OO, v 29 Warren Streci, New 2 nfor- of Worth 1honssnas w 1 Ww Fou cfu E5l Ne Fe PAGE’S LIQUID GLUE. » UNEQUALLEDFOR CEMENT woo, ATS hy aE LONDON. W AWARDED C A DON, J Used by Mason & ha £04 kvano0o Rae Paisre Car Oo, be Md only by the RUSS CE ENT. _ GLOUCESTER, MASE © EVERYWHERE Serie Tis Cut sess by Mai. 5 TON WAGON SCALES, Beartuge, Brare Tare Beam and $60 AND 3 pass the Treight- widon L AND JONES be few Tree price ml Toe stems apd address JON OF BINGHAMTON, Binghamton, N. ¥. Chioral Opium BOOK FREE. J. C. HOFFMAN. Jeflerson, Wisconsin BASILY CURED, Le Scidiery & Hetre. Fon i per atwnp Tor Drrvemtors. Cine i PETENTS wines Tver. HS Ewow & Ub : 4 Patent AlU RW " ost a Merphine Pabit Cured in 10 te 20 days. No pay till cured. Pa. J. Pr eraEve, Lebanon, Ohio. ) 7 } w MACHINERY 57341 SY "oes FREE Beschert & Boomer Prom Co. Syracuse KB. X. MONEY EE A DA ———————— ouifits for TRG facturing a Rey Olitig Re : " oR Catalogue free, . BPEN. BL 113 Wash nglon $1, Boston. Mame i mes, £51 Aveh Bh. Pr N ly ego Ty - 4. wt STE Serth Pith Bh. Ws If You are Driven Wild * mm as HAAR ASUS you aside at an eveniog party to give it), and rid yourself of the trouble by the use of